Cis-trans relationships - The Transamorous Network

March 22, 2022January 26, 2022

Settling In Relationships: The Great Pandemic Of Our Times

A Transamorous Network Client sent a text this week which offers a wonderful clarifying perspective. It shows distinctly why people settle in most areas of their lives, having given up on their dreams.

Some people push back when I say nearly everyone settles, especially when it comes to finding a partner. But when one understands how the Universe works, and why people act how they do while not knowing how the Universe works, one realizes why settling is indeed the greatest pandemic of our times.

And not just in relationships.

Why no one wants to settle but nearly everyone does

Wayne Dyer once wrote “you’ll see it when you believe it.”

That statement accurately reflects how the Universe works. A person who talks themselves into believing something, will, in time, discover that something to be “true”. No matter what it is, or how crazy others think it, a person who believes will see what they believe.

This is how the Universe works. It constantly reflects back to all of us what we believe. It does this so we can adjust our beliefs so they align with what we want, then receive what we want. No matter what that is.

Knowing this is power. For knowing this, one can create any reality one wants. All one needs is sufficient belief.

But the universal experience of “emergence” (commonly called “birth”) is, when a person comes through a vagina, the experience of physical reality, combined with their forgetting who and what they are, creates bewilderment. In that bewildered state, the eternal being, now human, flails a bit for stability. Usually, that means leaning on others who came before. Initially that’s usually parents.

Indoctrination begins

But after a while it also includes teachers, what one sees on TV and peers. It also includes the immediate environment and personal experiences. Having forgotten their eternal nature and origin, for humans, physical reality trumps internal reality. As surroundings take precedence, it appears that reality exists separate from the perceiver. That’s not ever the case. But that’s what it looks like.

So the perceiver begins to “believe what they see”, not realizing what’s really happening; that they are seeing what they believe. Much of what they see and what they learn from others, who are equally if not more out to lunch about what’s really happening than new arrivals, appears to be that the world is random, scary, limited and requires struggle and pain.

In that world, one must “get real”, stop living youthful fantasies, get a job and carry their own weight. This applies not only to earning a living, but to every other aspect of life. Including relationships.

So the result of all this flawed thinking is people give up on their dreams. Or they adopt mediocre goals from others, or parrot what others do. And since mostly everyone has “gotten real” and given up on their fantasies, it’s easy to see why people would settle for something less than their dreams.

No wonder so many live ordinary lives. And no wonder so many settle in relationships. That deftly explains the divorce rate as well.

The “dream” nearly everyone trades their authentic being and desires for. No one comes through a vagina explicitly wanting this. But nearly everyone compromises, then wonders how they got here.

My client’s experience proves the rule

“Alonzo” stood in exactly that place as he shared his thoughts this week. He texted a defense of his limited beliefs while not realizing that’s what he did. What he thought he did was explain “what’s true”.

But what’s true is whatever someone believes long enough. And usually, that means what someone adopted from others, from statistics, or observation, none of which has anything to do with getting what one wants.

Here’s what he texted.

My client “Alonzo” defending limitations inherent in his beliefs. Beliefs born from too much observation and not enough creation.

I know many, many trans-attracted men share similar ideas/beliefs because such men contact me regularly and say similar things.

But again, these things they say have no relevance to what they want. But they do create realities wherein what they want doesn’t exist. It’s no wonder then that they experience frustration and loneliness or, worse, hopelessness in finding their match.

Thinking such thoughts/telling such stories prevents such men from having what they want. What happens next is they settle, choosing to be with a cisgender woman, who can’t possibly (and shouldn’t) satisfy their desires. Then both the woman and the guy live a dissatisfying relationship until they separate in anger, frustration and resignation.

I’m not making this up. Two past clients lived that example. So I know many more have as well.

Some transgender women tell their version of these same stories. Which is why they live sad, lonely, frustrating lives. They’ll settle for a female partner, even though they prefer a male one. Or they go through dating “hell” online, where they kiss many, many frogs. Hell, all kinds of people tell such stories. Transgender women aren’t the only ones trying to solve their relationship dilemmas through online dating.

So let’s look at my client’s text, unpack these beliefs, then create new ones more consistent with what’s wanted. It’s not hard. And anyone can do it. Because everyone came into the world with this ability.

The way out of mediocre

Statistics offer a convenient analysis of a population. But every statistician will tell you that the closer to an individual member of that population, the less accurately that analysis will be. Statistics also don’t explain anything. They just describe a group of things or people based on measurable information.

Of course, we’re not using statistics when referring to how humans create reality. In this case, such things as stats become 100 percent irrelevant. Individual life experience is 100 percent subjective, meaning, no two people experience identical experiences. Nor do they ever conclude similarly.

What’s more, experiences an individual might have depend 100 percent on what they tell themselves. That’s the only thing – their beliefs – creating their experience.

So the problem with the belief that transgender women “…make up 0.6% of the population, and far fewer than that actually are physically attractive to me, are mentally stable, and like the type of sex that I do…” Isn’t that it’s untrue. It may be true.

But is that a truth that helps this guy or hinders him? Obvious it’s the latter. Because looking at this statement he can’t help but think something like “the odds of me meeting a girl I’ll like are infinitesimally small.” That thought will quickly cause feelings like hopelessness, discouragement, pessimism and despair. None of these will lead this guy to his match.

But there is a way out. If you’ve read this blog regularly, you know what it is. It starts with telling better stories.

*Finding your lover needn’t be frustrating. But it is when you’re telling stories that suck and you base your chances on the odds. (Photo by* *Adrian Swancar*)

Don’t listen to the odds

The problem with Alonzo’s first belief is, it limits in the extreme what’s available. Again, if he believes this tiny sliver of the population is the only sliver available, he can’t possibly feel anything other than hopelessness. Especially if he has no idea how to connect with that tiny group.

More important though is this. When a person believes this way, they limit in the extreme what the Universe can do for them. The Universe doesn’t give a rip about that statistic. It is a wish-granting jewel. Everything is possible through it.

But the creation process is controlled by the creator. Not the Universe. So if the creator doesn’t believe what he or she wants, he or she can’t enjoy what’s wanted.

Since Alonzo believes these stats as “true”, what the Universe delivers is what he believes. Again, the Universe can’t deliver something we don’t believe is possible, which is why Wayne Dyer makes his assertion that you will see it when you believe it. Alonzo doesn’t believe he can meet his match. So he doesn’t.

The power of Alonzo’s text, isn’t the statistics. It’s his belief in the statistics. That’s what creates the “truth” of the numbers. Not the “fact” that the numbers are true.

There’s a lot of universal truths in Star Wars. Including this one. Via GIPHY

No one needs a target rich environment

Nearly everyone believes they need a huge group of single people from which to sift through and find their match. But no one needs a large pool. Few people want to simultaneously have a relationship with more than 1-3 people. Most people want only one person. Do you really need a pool of people from which to get that one?

Well, you do need a target rich environment if you have crappy aim! That way your chances are better of hitting the target. But since everyone creates their reality by what they believe, or what stories they tell, each person can precisely and easily move through situations where they meet that one person who knocks their socks off.

But if that person believes their match is hard to find, then guess what? They’re hard to find.

My client says he’s leaving the door open. But is he really? No, he’s not! The door is barely cracked open if he thinks his match exists among only .6 percent of the population. Meanwhile Universe stands ready with more than 100 ways Alonzo can meet her. Alonzo can’t access any of them though believing as he does.

Instead, he could tell stories which cause hope, optimism and even positive expectation to pour out of him. Such stories will automatically make him feel enjoying his desire is possible, even easy. Here’s what some might sound like:

How I feel when I tell this story doesn’t feel good
But I must be here because I can’t be anywhere else right now
I haven’t always felt this way. I remember other times I felt better
That means I don’t have to be stuck here
I can change what I think and believe
Since I can change it, I can accept that I believe this right now
I like thinking that I can change my thoughts/stories
That I can change my stories feels better than feeling stuck
Since I can change my stories, I can accept the stories I currently have.

These stories are a start. The first step always involves getting to a place where one accepts where they are, instead of resisting where they are. Anyone unhappy with where they are is resisting where they are.

Taking the next step

The next step: create stories that dispel or dislodge stories that create not-so-good feelings and replace those icky feelings with better-feeling ones.

There may be few out there, but I only need one
I can tell better stories than those I’m telling
I would prefer better-feeling stories
Maybe it won’t be as hard as I think
Maybe there are transgender women in my town
I really don’t know because I really haven’t looked
That feels true
I like the truth of that. Really, I haven’t looked
I can accept that I haven’t tried looking
Accepting that feels better than accepting how hard I thought it was before
What if I don’t have to try looking?
I like thinking that I don’t have to try
Perhaps there’s hope for me
I like feeling hope
Hope sure feels better than powerlessness
Maybe she is out there
It’s nice feeling some hope

So in a few brief, deliberately chosen statements, a person can go from powerlessness, to relief, to acceptance, to incipient belief…maybe even hope. And from there, it’s all down hill (in a good way), so long as the person doesn’t reinvest in old beliefs.

Stories that prevent you from getting the love you want often sound “true”. But that doesn’t matter! What matters is, is the story you’re telling tune you to what you want? These sure do not! Unless you want to remain single and unhappy. (My artwork)

Get on the upward spiral

Getting out of the momentum of disempowering stories feels hard until a person tries. But feeling powerless, hopeless or pessimism can change in an instant, or at most, a few minutes. Look around you though.

Likely people who don’t know what you’re reading surround you. So they look at the world, draw conclusions about what they see, see realities they create consistent with that, then say “yep, see, I’m right. The world is this way.”

Just like Alonzo.

The minute they tell themselves they’re right, they lock in that conclusion as a belief. Then the world ends up that way. A trans woman only meets chaser men. Men can’t find transgender women who aren’t whackos or prostitutes.

For example, Alonzo told me in our subsequent session that he “hasn’t seen a single trans woman in my area.”

“Of course not,” I said. “You can’t when you have such strong beliefs in the way creating a reality consistent with ‘there are none in my area’.”

It can be challenging convincing someone creating a reality they don’t want, that the reality they do want is as easy to create as that reality they have, the reality they don’t want.

But once someone learns how the they, their Broader Perspective and the Universe work together to create reality, I find these people start on a positive upward spiral leading to everything they want.

All my clients eventually enjoy the upward spiral of positive stories. The better stories they tell, the better they feel, then the better life gets. Then they want more of that, so they tell even more positive stories and life gets even better. (My artwork)

Get what you want

They can’t not get what they want because their Broader Perspective and the Universe want them to have it. The only reason they don’t have it is because they’re in the driver’s seat. This Universe and their Broader Perspective can’t give them what they want when they aren’t focused on that. The Universe and their Broader Perspective only gives the person what they attend to. Which is why beliefs are so important.

Beliefs are how humans attend to what they want. The problem is, most humans use their beliefs to attend to what they don’t want. Which is why so many don’t get what they want. Or they get a smattering of what they want, among a crap ton of things they don’t want.

Getting what’s wanted is supposed to be what’s happening here on Earth. The heaven everyone thinks comes after death is right here on Earth. But each person must create it for themselves. No one does it for them. Not even the Universe or one’s Broader Perspective.

Joy in life comes from figuring out how to do that then doing it deliberately. And the more one does it deliberately, the more joyful they become. Then their world must reflect back to them that joy, because that joy comes from joyful thoughts and thoughts create reality.

It’s not hard to do any of this. Everyone is doing it right now, today. They’re just doing it in the wrong direction which leads them to a life of settling.

I say, do it deliberately and show yourself how easy it is. I can help with that.

March 15, 2022January 21, 2022

Stop Looking And Find Love Easy

The best way to find the love you want is by giving up trying to find him or her and let them come to you.

I encourage all my clients in this direction because it’s fun, it’s easy and it works 100 precent of the time. You can’t say that for online dating. It’s crazy so many people try that route, spending thousands in the process, when so few succeed.

But telling positive stories about your life guarantees you’ll meet your match. That’s why I guarantee it. And it will happen in a fun and easy way.

Universe stands ready

A client proved this recently in her own life. Even I was surprised how easy it happened. It’s a textbook example of how cultivating a positive story outlook works.

This client, let’s call her Diane, meets with me each week 1:1. She takes the practice seriously. She’s diligent about telling positive stories about everything. No wonder her life overflows with amazing things happening.

Then again, they’re not amazing. It’s just what happens when one takes control of their life by telling stories about life consistent with the kind of life they want.

Buoyed by things going right, Diane pretty much stopped thinking about how, when or where she’d meet her match. Eventually she gave up looking for him through online dating sites. That off her mental plate, she also stopped blocking the Universe from giving her what she wanted.

Kissing a lot of toads

It’s easy to stop thinking about not having the love you want when your life fills with great experiences. The paradox of that happening is, because you’re focused on the great things happening, it’s easy to become a match to your ideal partner.

Matching that you hear impulses that, when followed bring your match to you. In other words, the Universe will lead you right to the spot where your match is waiting.

Otherwise, you’re trying to do it yourself and, in trying to do that from your disempowering stories about dating, about your date-ability, about the whereabouts of your match, you end up on wild goose chases. Goose chases where you end up kissing a lot of toads. Sorry about mixing metaphors there!

But loving life, having fun and enjoying your own company, you turn into a cooperative variable in the equation that sums up to you and your match meeting. That’s what happened with Diane.

In fact, she didn’t even have to go anywhere. He came to her. Here’s how that happened.

Kiss that? No thanks. I’d rather be single, happy and let my perfect match come to me. (Photo by Laura Seaman on Unsplash)

Creating the Charmed Life

“I got a notification on my phone the other day,” Diane explained in our session. “It was a Facebook friend request from someone I didn’t know. I don’t accept friend requests from people who don’t have a picture on their profile. But my impulse said to accept it, so I did.”

An “impulse” is something everyone receives all the time. It’s an idea to act coming from their Broader Perspective coming in response to a desire they’ve “put out” that their Broader Perspective received.

The impulse, when followed, leads to the unfolding manifestation of that desire. Should the person follow the impulse, they will eventually rendezvous with that fulfilled desire.

As one tells more and more positive stories about their life, they release resistance which creates “noise” that interferes with receiving impulses. As resistance subsides though, impulses come in loud and clear. The next step is following the impulses.

This is how the Universe, one’s Broader Perspective and the individual create “manifestations” culminating in the Charmed Life I write about here each week.

Impulses are the basis of the Charmed Life. But it all starts with being happy, i.e. the guaranteed results of a Positively Focused practice.

Not your job?

A human’s job is not to make things happen. That’s the Universe’s job. Broader Perspective’s job is to lead each individual to their fulfilled desire, which the Universe fulfilled.

So what’s the human’s job?

The human’s job is to create the desire which turns the Universe into more. Then the human receives the fulfilled version of that desire by following its Broader Perspective impulses. The receiving is always surprising and delightful. As such events fill one’s life, one discovers their worthiness, invincibility and the Charmed Life I mentioned above.

In this way, life becomes easy. Most people don’t know this. That’s why so many run around trying to make things happen while finding it very hard to make things happen that way! It’s why so many people give up on their dreams, or compromise on dreams and live lackluster lives. It’s also why so many are depressed, anxious, tired and alone too.

Diane developed a habit of hearing her Broader Perspective impulses with a determination I have yet to see matched by any other client. It’s no wonder then that her life overflows with examples of self-fulfilling desires, desires that delight and surprise her.

The impossible possible

The person making the Facebook friend request had a photo of a car on his profile because he was a car buff. Diane received an “impulse” to accept the request because of what happened next.

What happened next blew Diane’s socks off. Diane said the guy said he saw her profile and immediately wanted to get to know her. He thanked her for accepting his request, then started chatting her up.

The chatting continued every day for a week. Turned out he was an oil rig worker, educated, happy and very interested in getting to know Diane.

But at our next session, she told me she was concerned because she didn’t think this guy, let’s call him Jeff, knew that my client was transgender.

That’s right. Diane is transgender. Most transgender women have many disempowering stories about guys, which is why most transgender women remain single, alone, lonely and mad.

When Diane told Jeff she was trans, Diane said Jeff “paid it no mind. He thought I was cisgender, but he said me being trans didn’t matter!”

Anyone who is trans, or knows transgender women knows how rare such an exchange is. Some might say such an exchange is impossible. And here was Diane, a trans woman, having exactly that experience. Being Positively Focused pays yo!

Most transgender women fence themselves behind stories that disempower themselves and demean what they want in a partner. No wonder they remain single, alone, lonely and mad. (Photo by Velizar Ivanov)

Negative stories, negative reality

Most of the time, according to transgender women who contact me, the men they meet are chasers. They’re looking for “chicks with dicks”, or, when they think the woman is cis, then find out they’re trans, they disappear.

Again, a transgender woman never need experience any of that. But it does happen when, again, transgender women tell negative stories about dating, themselves and men.

For example, another client I’m working with who is transgender currently enjoys a long-running, online, long distance relationship with one guy. She’s actually seeing a few men as a result of gradually changing her stories.

But she needs improvement, evident in this exchange.

“Even when I’m at my worst,” she said in one session. “He keeps coming back.”

“Why do you think he keeps coming back?” I asked.

“Because he just wants me to fuck him,” she said.

What a disempowering story.

Of course, there’s no way a guy would want to keep talking to her because HE LIKES HER. And, what do you think the story “guys just want me because they want me to fuck them” says about the transgender woman thinking such a thought?

Well, it demeans the transgender woman as much as it demeans the men she meets, thereby kiboshing any chance of men even having a chance with her!

Every belief one thinks or expresses or even allows in their awareness carries an associated vibration which creates realities consistent with it. Some of the most damaging are thoughts one thinks about one’s self. *(Photo by* *Sherise VD*)

Diane’s dates improving

Diane enjoys a different trajectory. Having changed her stories about subjects related to meeting her match, her men encounters improved dramatically.

First she’d get cat-called at bars. Then men wanted her for “quickies” in the parking lot. Then, guys would approach her, but ghost her after that first encounter. After that, men started sticking around, but they weren’t the caliber of men Diane wanted.

Now, here Diane is getting the furthest forward version of what she wants. And she literally didn’t even leave the house to meet him! Nor did she spend any money dating online.

Furthermore, Diane wanted a guy who had more going for him than “hustling”. Many men she met in the past were street hustlers. Mostly they were into the drug trade and generally getting into criminal mischief.

But Jeff has a steady job. More than that, he wants to take Diane hiking and fishing, as he enjoys the outdoors. Sounds pretty normal, right? But to Diane, it’s not.

“That’s something I’ve been wanting to do more and more since starting becoming Positively Focused,” Diane said. “That he wants to take me out to do those things shows me this is all working out perfectly for me.”

That love you want is right there in front of you. If you can’t see it, or you feel you’re not making any progress towards it, it’s likely you have beliefs which create realities where the relationship that is there, isn’t there. It’s a problem I can help with. (Photo by Toa Heftiba)

What’s the future?

How this situation turns out makes no difference. The main thing happening is Diane is improving her dating stories. She’s seeing her improved stories creating connections reflecting to her that improvement. Diane acknowledges she still has stories she wants to improve, so Jeff isn’t the final match, offering everything she wants.

How does she know that? Because she’s still evolving as a person and in what she wants. As her life improves, as she uncovers what she really wants and goes after that, she becomes more of her authentic self.

As that happens, she becomes more confident and more certain of who she is. Meanwhile, she’s meeting this guy amidst that transition. So Jeff represents a match to who she is currently. Other men stand ready and waiting for her as she becomes more.

And that’s why I urge clients not to be impatient when creating their reality. For the longer a person enjoys what they have, without thinking what they have – especially with partners – is The One, the more they will see what they have improve more and more. Why? Because they are becoming more and more.

Diane’s example shows how easy finding a lover happens. The less energy and attention one puts on that, the more they just enjoy life, the easier finding that person happens.

But when someone thinks finding a partner is a challenge, a problem or impossible, that’s exactly how it will be. Thoughts create reality.

Why not think thoughts that make your ideal reality easy? If you’re ready to know how, I got your back!

February 8, 2022December 31, 2021

A New Client Raves Over His Great Results

Some transgender people – it’s never trans-attracted men – get triggered by how I support the transgender community. They don’t realize their getting triggered has nothing to do with me or what I do. It’s all about their insecurity, triggered by stories they’re telling.

I often respond by telling such people my clients and the community in general benefit hugely from what I offer, evidenced by many people offering thanks, appreciation and examples of how it helps them. Nearly all my clients stick with me because what they get in transformed lives far exceeds how much it costs.

This is why I guarantee the results I promise.

My most recent client offers a great example. He’s a trans-attracted man. After his very first session, he created for himself exactly what I offer and guarantee everyone gets, trans or trans-attracted. Here’s what he texted me:

My newest client gets an extraordinary life experience after only one session.

Everyone gets similar results, although details look different. That’s only because all physical reality is 100 percent subjective. It’s unique to the perceiver. No one shares their experience with another. Which is why so much disagreement happens. Everyone thinks other people are having the same experience they are.

There’s no reason for a transgender person – man or woman – to go through life not getting what they want. Same for trans-attracted people. The only thing keeping such people from what they want is the person themselves.

The trans experience and the trans-attraction experience are human experiences. Both are wholesome and good. I show folks how to get to that wholesome goodness story-wise. Then, in time, their world must reflect that back to them. Including bringing them everything they want.

I don’t care when some transgender women hate on me after reading a Transamorous Network post. They literally don’t know what they’re talking about.

But trolls gonna hate

Sometimes a transgender woman will read me saying transgender women own the lives they create, then tell me I’m victim blaming. But they don’t understand what my clients do. There are no victims.

But if a person believes there are…they make themselves a victim as much as those they pity as victims.

I don’t care when some transgender women hate on me after reading a Transamorous Network post. They literally don’t know what they’re talking about.

But my clients do. That’s why they rave about results, while sticking around. They get a taste of their power. Then they want more.

I know what I offer helps transgender people and those who love them. I know because such people tell me so. That’s why I do what I do. I came here for this.

So when a client raves about results they produce, I focus on that. Those who get negatively triggered, who’ve never even tried to understand what I offer, let alone put it into practice, get the cold shoulder.

I tell them to take their triggered attitudes elsewhere. Find things to read they agree with. Leave me alone.

That way I have more time to serve those ready to live their lives as the creators they came to be.

February 1, 2022December 27, 2021

Transphobias: Better Left In The Great White North

If you’re transgender or trans-attracted, it’s better to think about all the great things about being trans and the great things about being trans-attracted, than thinking about other people’s transphobic opinions about who or what you are. At The Transamorous Network we encourage becoming oblivious to why people say and do things.

Unless you can tell positive stories about them.

That’s why we ignore when a trans woman thinks she knows better about where we’re coming from than we do, and criticizes or demeans what we share. What others think is none of our business 🤣.

A recent client experience shows why doing what we do acts in your best interest.

Coming to grips with her likes

She visited a local drive up coffee kiosk for a java infusion. It’s something she loves doing. Icing on that coffee cake is the beefcake who works there. My client crushes on him every time she sees his hunkiness.

He’s not her only crush. She talks with several men at a time. Her fortune meeting men shows her she’s getting everything she wants. It’s a case in point for trans women: tell the right stories and everything you want – including men – appear.

I think she’s having a great time with all the guy she’s talking with. The most recent guy she spoke with, however, told her dating transgender women scares him. Hearing this, my client expressed feeling two ways about it.

In the first way, she wants to console the guy and his insecurity. But in the second way, she wants nothing to do with it.

Give the finger to other’s opinion. They don’t matter, so you shouldn’t mind.

“I don’t want to have to help a guy come to grips with what he likes,” she said.

Match what you want

That’s when I explained how what he said reflected back to her what she’s thinking about the same topic.

“Huh?” she asked.

“The reason you’re meeting guys who are afraid of dating you is because you still aren’t sure you’re datable,” I told her. “That’s what the Universe is showing you by matching you with this guy. Your dates always match your stories.”

My client has enough of The Transamorous Network’s approach under her belt to get the truth of those words. Every trans woman meets people who match what she’s putting out. If she doesn’t like who she’s meeting, complaining about who’s she’s meeting is the worst thing she can do.

Instead, we recommend becoming a match to the kinds of men you want to date. How? Tell stories about everything that match what you want. Everything. That includes those guys you meet you’d rather not meet.

Doing so requires serious, honest assessment of stories you tell. Especially stories about men…and stories about yourself. Some trans women think they’ve got their thoughts in the right place. Usually, that’s not the case. It’s easy thinking you’re clear, when, really, you’re not. Like this client explains:

A trans woman acknowledges something nearly all trans women (and everyone else) won’t: she really didn’t understand what was going on in her head, until she got a real good look.

Same goes for you trans-attracted men. Figure out your stories, change them and the trans girl you want is yours.

Let’s return to my client’s story.

Back to the coffee kiosk

The hunky dude walking up and down line of cars had what my client interpreted as a “transphobic reaction” to her. She said when he saw her, he looked at her “strange” and kept looking back at her while taking others’ orders.

We talked about this from the perspective of “other people’s opinions aren’t my business“, and why that is. Most people move through the world from places of insecurity, fear, pessimism and negativity. Why on earth would my client want a piece of that????

Instead I asked my client if she could think of alternative stories which would make the hunk’s reaction less personal, or even personally favorable.

It took her a while. But after a little cajoling, she came to some good ones:

His behavior has nothing to do with me
He’s never seen a trans woman before and is curious, not negative
Maybe he’s trans-attracted and didn’t know it until now!
Maybe he finds me attractive!

It doesn’t matter whether these stories are true or not. How they made my client feel meant everything.

Why?

Because how she feels tells her something important. So these stories were very good for her. I knew this because her countenance totally changed after telling them. That meant she was headed in a totally different direction than before.

Stories create the world. And everyone’s telling stories all the time, including you. So why not create the best worlds? How? Tell the best feeling stories.

Leave them in the cold

How this guy reacted to seeing my client had nothing to do with her and everything to do about him. But in that moment, my client observed that reaction on purpose. Even though she didn’t realize it at the time, her current beliefs showed themselves in this guy’s behavior. That was a good thing, even if she didn’t believe it at the time.

Seeing what she saw was great evidence of The Transamorous Network’s approach working. Now she knows what her stories contain. That allowed her to do something about them: create better-feeling stories.

So what started as a negative situation turned out to be a really positive one. This is why nothing ever goes wrong in the world. Everything always goes right.

Leave other people’s opinion’s alone. Especially ones inconsistent with yours. They don’t matter. The only place they belong is where they belong…in the Great White North. In other words, out in the cold. Not in your awareness.

Keep them out there and watch how much your love life improves.

January 25, 2022December 4, 2021

Finding Love Results From Seeing The Proof

This morning during a client session, the client shared a perfect example of how easily The Transamorous Network’s process works for getting the relationship one wants.

The process IS easy. But like my client, many trans women, and trans-attracted men, make it harder than it needs to be. They make it less fun too.

All one need do to get anything they want is tell stories about their desire and feel good about having it. Even if they don’t tell positive stories, evidence still surrounds them, telling them they’re getting what they want.

But because the person won’t acknowledge the evidence, getting what they want takes a VERY long time…or it doesn’t happen at all.

I should correct that. Every desire fulfills itself. But many people, especially trans women, compromise on what they want. They’re too impatient, tell too many contrary stories and focus on the wrong evidence. But even those girls get what they want…as everyone does…after death. For when a person dies, they return to nonphysical where everything happens in an instant.

No one need wait until death though to get what they want. I know this based on my own experience. That’s why I’m committed to serve members of the trans community ready to hear what I share. Those women (and men) are emmissaries of what’s possible.

This trans woman is an example:

But I digress…

It’s basic math

My client, let’s call her Josie, lamented during one session two weeks ago. She complained about men she was meeting and how those men expressed beliefs contrary to what she wanted. We talked a bit more before I turned the subject to something she enjoyed talking about.

After a little time there, Josie admitted feeling better. Then she doubled down on her previous feeling.

“I feel that I take two steps forward,” she said. “Then take one step back.”

What she was saying is she feels pessimistic because she sees herself going backwards. But if you look at what she actually said here, she was sharing evidence of progress. Not going backwards.

Think about it. It’s basic math.

Let’s say a person is walking forward from point A, and they take two steps forward. How far away are they from point A? Right, two steps.

Now let’s say they take one step back. How far are they away from point A? One step. That’s progress!

This is a common perception problem many humans (not just trans ones) suffer from. Josie acknowledged it in our session today.

“I have ingrained ways of looking at things that have me see negatively,” she said.

“I agree,” I said. “Meanwhile evidence surrounds you that you’re progressing.”

He’s looking for you. Are you seeing evidence that you two are getting closer to meeting? (Photo by Tamarcus Brown on Unsplash)

The evidence…

Then I reminded her about our session last week. Back then, after bemoaning progress that looks like two steps forward and one back, she happily described an encounter she had with a guy.

As she describes herself, she regularly smiles at women she doesn’t know, but never smiles or even makes eye contact with men. But last week she caught herself smiling at a guy.

That shocked and surprised her, but she also saw it (in the moment) as evidence of her progress. It so happened that in this same conversation she also talked about the “several men” she was talking to on dating sites.

So here she is producing all this evidence of guys showing her interest. And yet, she’s complaining about her lack of progress!

Then, this week, she shares even more evidence. Turns out that while walking her dog at the local dog park, she not only smiled at a guy, she struck up a whole conversation with him! As she did so, she was so clear what she was doing, she said she wanted to text me about her “progress” as she called it.

It’s easy, if you let it be

I told Josie then that she has the option at any time to turn her attention to evidence indicating progress towards what she wants. Instead, what she’s doing is indeliberately focusing on “lack of evidence”. That makes her feel shitty. Feeling shitty, Josie can’t see her progress. But the progress is there.

Focus on that progress and telling positive stories becomes easy. Then life gets easy. Then everything one wants comes easily. Including that love life where the perfect partner shows up.

But you must let it become easy. Most people fight against “easy” by being indeliberate about stories they tell. They focus on their pessimism, even when life is showing them all the evidence telling them they are getting what they want.

At The Transamorous Network I help trans women and trans-attracted men all day long learn how to turn their lives into lives where everything they want happens. It’s easy once you get the hang of it. And it’s fun.

Josie is beginning to get this. When are you going to?