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The Best Trans Girlfriend: Played By Nava Mau

TLDR: The author reviews the Netflix Limited Series Baby Reindeer with a focus on the transgender character Teri. They argue Teri represents the ideal trans partner in many ways. Then they encourage trans-attracted men to become matches to their ideal trans partners rather than trying to make a relationship happen as a way of getting all they want in love.

I’m very near the end of gushing about Netflix’s Baby Reindeer. Just two more things need mentioning about this wonderful show. It’s wonderful because, as mentioned in the last post, Baby Reindeer reveals underlying causes keeping nearly all trans-attracted men in the shadows.

Primary among those causes is self loathing. Self loathing is as common among transgender women as it is among trans-attracted men. Which is one dimension across which both groups represent perfect matches.

But that’s another story; one I’ve shared many times. In this story, I want to focus on Teri, the transgender character played by Nava Mau. I’m going to crush a little on the actress too. So bear with me.

Alright, here we go.

Trans women and the power they possess

Speaking of crushing, this blog asserts over and over that trans women possess a unique power. Especially when they embrace all that they are. I’ve seen trans-attracted men literally transformed for the better because of that power. This power also partly explains why trans-attracted men who enjoy the pleasure of actually dating a trans woman finds himself so smitten to the core.

Teri, whom Donny, Baby Reindeer’s main character, meets on a dating website, is exactly the kind of trans woman I’m writing about. She’s self assured, measured and clear-headed. It helps, of course that she’s a therapist. Which also tells us she’s got some baggage herself. Therapists become therapists for a reason. And really good therapists are really good for that same reason.

Anyway, Teri’s at first open minded. She’s eager to get to know Donny, even though he’s presenting a totally bogus version of himself. That’s because he’s deeply shameful of his attraction. Which is interesting because Nava Mau is gorgeous in the extreme. And, to me, totally passable.

That doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. For a trans-attracted man dealing with his shame, however, it would seem Teri is a great match because she looks convincingly like a cis woman. Still, Donny tries Teri’s patience. She sees right through his lies, but goes along anyway. I presume she’s hoping to meet the real Donny eventually.

Nava Mau (Instagram)

Trans women: helping the men helps you

Which brings me back to the power of trans women. Listen ladies, if you want to be with a man, many such men exist who will love you out loud exactly as you are. But many more need some training. If you’re willing to, helping a guy get through his shame can create a lasting, deep love.

It also, however, can lead to disastrous outcomes. Which is why I advocate a particular approach to relationships. One that first starts with the relationship with yourself. Get that stable and it’s really easy to create any kind of relationship you want. Including with a guy. But if your relationship with yourself is wobbly, you can’t access that power, that focus that literally can turn a man into a prime relationship candidate.

There’s no reason a trans woman who wants to be with a man can’t be with one. But disempowering beliefs will put the kibosh on that goal every time. Those who tell positive stories – about themselves, about their man and their relationship – can literally create the ideal relationship from one that seems deeply flawed.

After all, we all meet our matches in the moment we meet them. That means every relationship we get into is a match. We might not like what that relationship contains, but isn’t it true that in every failed relationship we are the common denominator? That means we and we alone can change the relationship, because we are the focus of it.

And if that’s available to us, why keep running through guys? Why not instead choose a guy and walk with him through his struggles? Maybe he’ll do the same for you.

Bring on an ass kicking

This is what Teri tries to do. And for a while it works. But then Donny does something so freaking disgusting, even I was shocked when it happened. I won’t ruin the show with a spoiler. I’ll just say for Teri, it was the final straw. Later in the series we see her again, dating another guy.

Nava Mau surprised me as an actress. I was confused when she first appeared because my radar pinged her as trans, but she passed so completely. Her acting, however, really won me over. It was so passionate, so spirited. So raw. I wonder if she drew on her own experiences dating men. Looking at her Instagram profile, she may be into women. If that’s the case, she’s an even better actress.

I particularly enjoyed that the show portrayed her as a professional, with her own home and her own life. What also surprised me though was when she and Donny’s stalker squared off in one espisode, I expected Teri to beat the living daylights out of that girl.

That wouldn’t have been consistent with the plot though. So I can see why her character didn’t give that crazy stalker an ass kicking. Still, many of the trans women I’ve met not only are smart and capable, they’re more than willing to bring an ass kicking to the table if necessary. Which is another thing I admire about certain trans women: they’re tough. They have to be given what many go through.

It’s just too bad so many let what they go through also shape their expectations, especially in the dating realm. Which is why I started this blog.

Meeting our match isn’t coincidence

Now let’s be clear. Plenty of trans women like Teri exist in the world. Read that again men. If you’re not meeting them, it’s because you’re not a match to them. They have things going on. While you may find them on online dating sites, I don’t think they’re at bars. So finding them means letting go of preconceived notions about how to date. It also means letting go of the idea that you know where to find her.

Meeting such women usually means such connections happening by “chance”. People like that term “chance”. “Coincidence” is another word they love. From The Transamorous Network’s perspective, however, chance and coincidence aren’t real. What’s really happening when a trans woman suddenly appears on our path is in that moment we’ve allowed our desire for relationship dominate expectations that such a relationship isn’t possible.

In other words, the Universe is showing us that what we think is impossible is, in fact, possible. Which explains why usually, when such meetings happen, the girl is with someone already. It’s not that she’s meant for us, she’s meant to show us what’s available; when we let go of stories keeping what’s available on the horizon.

I say if you want a transgender partner, the best approach is letting it happen naturally, not trying to make it happen. Trying to make it happen brings us matches matching ALL we are – warts and all. Better to let it happen in divine timing, a timing that also allows us to become better matches.

So that when our match does show up, the match has more of what we want than what we don’t.

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Why The Spectacular Baby Reindeer Turns People Into Stalkers

TLDR: The author suggests the reason why Netflix’s popular show Baby Reindeer is so compelling has to do with the creator’s trans attraction. They then assert that every transgender person and trans-attracted person possesses similar abilities to capture the attention of the world. If only they live their lives authentically, the way Baby Reindeer’s creator eventually did.

Netflix recently added a limited series that’s about as addictive as meth. Thank goodness it’s only seven episodes. In those seven episodes though, Baby Reindeer pulls back the shades on a topic that is a pariah, in some ways, to the transgender community: trans-attraction.

While doing so, the show is so freaking compelling, it’s hard not to watch all seven episodes straight through. That’s what a client did when I recommended it. “Fascinating” was all he could text after coming up for air.

In this installment of posts about this spectacular new Netflix show, I want to look more into the “fascinating” nature of Baby Reindeer. This time, though, from the perspective of why it’s become such a sensation. I’m going to examine this from the perspective of the practice I take clients through. This post will make sense with a little background on what that practice entails.

A sensation born of spiritual truth

In short, it’s a spiritual approach to making one’s dreams come true. In The Transamorous Network, however, the focus is a little more, uh, focused. We help trans community members make their relationship dreams come true. Through Positively Focused, my other practice specialty, I use the same content to assist cis people in realizing their dreams.

Positively Focused clients tend to be very successful people who’ve realized their material success isn’t all there is to life. Many have traded their happiness for material success. That’s never satisfying in the long run.

My trans and trans-attracted clients aren’t happy either. And while they, too, eventually get to focusing on their bigger life dreams, they usually start by wanting happier love lives.

The cool thing about the practice is, not only do clients find love and happiness, but they also realize powerful spiritual accuracies; about life, about themselves and the world around them.

These accuracies explain why people find Baby Reindeer so fascinating. According to many sources, the show is a hit. Why would that be? For sure it’s well-produced, scripted and acted. But there must be more to it, because a lot of not-so-successful shows are well made.

For one, I think it’s because the Netflix series is a true story. Its creator Richard Gadd is trans-attracted. Baby Reindeer features a main character based on Gadd’s experience with a woman stalker, a male rapist, his cis-trans relationship and Gadd’s intense self-hatred which drove all of this.

But there’s more to the show than this. I think it’s this more that is making the show the sensation it is.

Baby Reindeer is live on Netflix. Watch it. (Screenshot from Instagram)

The power of transgender and trans-attracted people

I’ve written in this blog many, many times about the power of transgender and trans-attracted people. I write about how such people come into the world with world-changing intentions. Their intentions are part of who and what they are. And their unique perspectives are born of those intentions.

But if such people don’t fully embrace who they are, their lives reflect that. They know inside themselves that they have something powerful to share. That powerful thing is literally embodied in all that they are. If such people don’t live authentically, however, then they experience a kind of crisis. When such people try finding relief outside themselves, nearly always, that seeking amplifies the crisis.

Should they embrace all they are and express that however, they create world-changing results. Richard Gadd, the creator of Baby Reindeer is one of these people. Richard Gadd is trans-attracted.

In penning Baby Reindeer, Gadd fully embraced what he was. Expressing that, he galvanized the world around his story. That’s why this show is so sensational and turns people into binge zombies.

Wait there’s more

But there’s more than that happening. For at the same time people like Gadd speak their truth, there’s a literal massive audience waiting to hear the message. That’s what we’re seeing in the response to Baby Reindeer.

Think about it. Transgender people for decades have been asking for someone to create a show like this. A show that offers a respectful, powerful story that can “normalize” trans attraction. Trans-attracted men have been wanting that too. They may not be aware of it, but as they tell their stories of self-loathing, they create future realities wherein that self-loathing is soothed. All that energy, from both trans and trans-attracted people, doesn’t just shoot out and then go nowhere. No, it becomes stronger and stronger.

Contributing to that increasing energy are people resisting people who are transgender and trans-attracted. That’s right, those who are passing anti-transgender bills, promoting trans hate and more…all these people are contributing to the energy that will eventually result in normalization. But if the trans community resists what they see with their eyes, if they focus on all the hate, they prolong the unfolding of what’s becoming stronger and stronger.

But even that’s not a problem because their resistance, like those resisting the trans community, adds more strength to the energy trans and trans-attracted people got started. So when that energy does burst on the scene, the results are galvanizing.

That’s what we’re seeing with Baby Reindeer.

Gadd is what you’ve asked for trans women

Gadd refined his story over the years in one-man stage performances. Though he may not be able to vocalize it, I can assure you his coming to embracing all that he is, then sharing that with the world, is exactly what he came into the world to do.

And look at the results! You can bet Baby Reindeer is changing minds about a lot of things. Trans-attraction being the top of the list. Gadd’s trans attraction isn’t the center piece, which makes the show’s message about trans attraction so much more powerful. Instead, it acts under the main subject, subtly getting into the hearts and heads of those watching the show. Gadd beautifully ties in other sexual taboos, particularly pedophilia happening in the Catholic Church. In this way, his artistic statement covers so many bases, it reaches everyone who watches it.

That’s why people can’t turn away from the show. It’s just too compelling.

Finding your personal power

I assure you every trans woman and every trans-attracted guy is in the world for similar purposes. They may not all create films or stage plays, but every individual in this community enjoys the potential Gadd has expressed in the world.

If only more transgender women and trans-attracted men realized this. Imagine how much better the world would be! Instead, many such people live their lives in shame, self-loathing, or in attitudes where they believe they are victims, even though no one is ever a victim.

Gadd’s example is an example for the entire trans community. Each of us is powerful. We have the power to significantly influence the world. But if we’re living small, if we’re curmudgeon in our focus, always looking at the negatives in the world, we rob ourselves of the success, the joy and the influence we came to have.

I suggest transgender people and those who love them take the lesson Gadd’s example offers. There’s no risk in living authentically. And there’s everything to gain.

It’s worth letting Baby Reindeer turn you into a stalker. You might just find your voice, then your power.

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The Hidden Life Of Trans Attraction Revealed In Daring “Baby Reindeer”

TLDR: A Netflix Limited Series sheds light on the sexually divergent nature of trans attraction and celebrates the main character as he embraces his authenticity. The author suggests the Netflix series manifests from push back against trans people seen in parts of the world and they suggest those who see the world similarly help create an even more supportive world for trans people.

Baby Reindeer is an amazing show. The Netflix Limited Series tells a true story of an aspiring comedian and trans-attracted Britisher who makes his way through his extreme (this is film making after all) self-loathing, which lives alongside an equally sensitive emotional state.

And while events that unfold in the series are intense and in some cases hard to watch (and well depicted) they ring accurate for me, both as a Transamorous person and as someone who assists trans-attracted men with casting off their self-loathing and embracing who and what they are.

In this post, I want to share experiences I’ve heard from my clients. I want to compare them to what happens in Baby Reindeer and celebrate this show as an awesome milestone, one many in the trans community have been hoping for for years.

Fiction based on truth

First, let’s get this on the record: Baby Reindeer is HIGHLY FICTIONALIZED. It’s also dark, gritty and intense. That said, I find it an extremely accurate portrayal of trans-attracted men. How can I claim that?

Because I’ve talked with many trans-attracted men. I’ve also assisted such men get over their self-hatred, accept themselves and find peace with what they are. I’m also transamorous myself.

Many of us share similar characteristics. Chief among those: either an intense self-hatred or shame. We also share extremely fine-tuned emotional sensitivity. I believe that’s because we are a blend of both male and female energies, just as many trans women are. Nearly all the men I’ve spoken to or work with try first making a relationship work with cis women. Those nearly always end in break ups or divorce, leaving the men lonely, alone and having to face head-on their trans attraction. Finally, at least some of the men at one time or another contemplated ending it all before they turned their self-hatred or shame into acceptance.

Donny, the main character in Baby Reindeer, experiences all of these characteristics. If you’ve seen the show, then, you know Donny hates himself in the extreme. But his emotional sensitivity equals his self-hatred. This explains why Donny ends up enabling Martha, the stalker. He can’t bear seeing her pain. So he reacts to her in welcoming ways. The resonance he feels mirrors Martha’s self-loathing. And hers mirrors his. In other words, they’re a perfect match.

Donny also fails at romance with his cis girlfriend although they remain close friends afterwards. Donny doesn’t try killing himself, but his sexual rampage after getting raped very much reflects suicidal sentiment. He acknowledges this in the series.

Donny’s story may be fictionalized, but parts of it ring true for many trans-attracted men.

Rings true for me too…

My experience mirrors some of this too. Though “hating myself” would have been an over exaggeration, I did find myself in fairly intense feelings of shame. But that shame didn’t keep me from acting out on my trans attraction, late at night in bars, through personal ads and dating sites and in random encounters.

Like Donny, I too am emotionally sensitive. These days I’d call it “intuitive”. It makes me great at what I do for clients. My feminine energy is quite pronounced too. When expressing myself to those with keen gaydar, I’m often mistaken as gay (instead of queer).

Can you see how that last part might cause trans-attracted men to double down on their shame? Trans-attracted men are not homosexual. But being mistaken as one can cause a guy to feel really confused…which is what happened to Donny by the way.

Relationships with cis gender women litter my history too. Not all were horrible. But all fizzled. Looking back it’s no wonder. Especially when contrasted with how it feels being with a trans woman.

Thankfully killing myself never entered the picture. Even back then, I knew I had more to do calling me. Nevertheless, it’s clear to me that my trans attraction created situations trying to get my attention. Thank goodness I listened. This blog would not exist without me having heard their call.

A supportive trans woman is gold

It’s clear then that many trans-attracted men find themselves wracked by shame. Shame plus fear create a potent cocktail. It will literally cause these men to hide in the shadows. And, since many trans women consider these men the bane of their existence, these men, like Donny, end up suffering alone.

What’s interesting: the moment Donny confesses to himself and others all he’s been hiding, that hidden life evaporates. His freedom becomes pronounced. Trans-attracted men don’t need trans women to support them. But it sure makes the coming out easier. Which is exactly what happened in Baby Reindeer when Teri showed up.

Donny meets Teri through a trans dating site. She’s the breath of sanity and fresh air in the entire series. Played extraordinarily well by trans woman Nava Mau, the character both supports and challenges Donny. In my opinion, her support goes to the extreme. I won’t spoil the story. You should watch it.

The point is, a lesson exists in the Teri character for trans women. Even though Donny doesn’t use Teri’s support to move through his shame, and eventually loses her, that needn’t be the outcome of every potential cis-trans relationship. Indeed, as I’ve written before, I know many long-term relationships between trans-attracted/transamorous men and their transgender lovers.

I encourage trans women that if they want a man, they might want to help a trans-attracted man overcome his shame. It’s not an easy task. Some men can move through the process easier than others. But ultimately, as with Teri, the choice is the trans woman’s. Not every girl’s up for that.

Revealing and soothing

Baby Reindeer offers so much illumination on the subject of trans attraction. I don’t think Richard Gadd, the show’s creator, intended it to be about trans attraction per se. The show mainly focuses on Donny’s downward spiral, which ultimately ends with upliftment, all at the hands of an intense, long-term stalking episode. Still, so many things about trans attraction get revealed in this show, I’d say it’s a must watch for anyone wanting to understand a not-well-understood phenomena happening around and within the transgender community.

More than that, watching the series can do two really powerful things. One, it can soothe the really strong aversion many trans women have about such men, through giving them a sense of emotional understanding for what these men go through. Two, it can help the men better understand and accept themselves. And all that happens in a show that is beautiful, clever, surprising and, yes, revealing.

Go watch it.

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Transgender Women Wanted A Movie On This: They Got One

Netflix’s Baby Reindeer

TLDR: The author offers the Netflix Limited Series Baby Reindeer as the answer to many transgender women’s call for a movie about trans-attracted men. The movie details many characteristics trans-attracted men share, including intense self-hatred, which the author claims creates the very experiences trans-attracted men struggle through. They then encourage all trans-attracted men and trans women to see the movie.

A big complaint about trans-attracted men has been that they’re too chicken shit to come out and own their trans-attraction. Some celebrities have come out acknowledging their attraction to trans women, or have been outed by others. And, at least several trans-attracted men I know are out loud about their orientation. One wrote a book about his attraction. Another has a book in the works.

Still, the trans community generally has expressed dismay that trans-attracted men remain scared to out themselves. Trans women say if more did, society would accept transgender women more. Some trans women even express interest in someone making a movie about the subject.

Years ago, The Crying Game was that movie. It was pretty good as far as it went.

But Richard Gadd’s Baby Reindeer, which debuted on Netflix last month, took the genre to a whole freaking other level. Trans women got their wish, again.

Let’s take a look at what I think is a tour de force in LGBTQ cinema for many, many, many reasons. Over the next few posts, I’m going to weigh in on this magnificent limited series from multiple angles.

Spoil alerts!

Talking about the show without giving away spoilers would be really tough. In this post, I’ll do my best to avoid spoiling the really good parts. I can’t promise I’ll do so in the next posts. You should go watch it, therefore.

Baby Reindeer features a main character named Donny. He’s a bartender and aspiring comedian. One day a woman comes into the bar. But this is no joke. Donny immediately perceives she’s having a hard time. That woman turns out to be a major stalker who ends up stalking Donny for years. Donny’s relationship with this woman seems like the main plot.

But another one overwhelms the stalker story in my opinion. That one, we discover, is Donny’s trans attraction, how he discovered it and what happens as he tries to overcome his MASSIVE, INTENSE and world-shaping shame and self-loathing.

Baby Reindeer: Number one on Netflix (Photo from Instagram).

It’s a true story

What’s really good about this is Baby Reindeer is a true story. It’s also HIGHLY fictionalized. Still, Gadd, the creator, did a great job fleshing out all the characters, making them believable, nuanced and many-layered. No villains exist here, which is good because villains and victims both are fictions. Everyone creates their reality.

The reason I love that Baby Reindeer is true is that it offers deep insight into the lives of trans-attracted men. Now, not all men who are attracted to trans women are like the guy depicted in the series. Still, of the dozens of men I’ve spoken to or worked with, some things do ring true, things portrayed in the main character’s personality.

At least 60 percent of the men I’ve spoken to or worked with have divergent sexual experiences. Not all of them were “abused”. But many experimented with avant-garde sexual practices. This includes experimenting with male siblings at a young age (which is more common than I thought), fantasizing about sexual acts with their mothers, or even being curious about acts with animals.

At least two of my trans-attracted clients experienced suicidal ideation borne of extreme self-loathing. At a key moment in the series, Donny says he goes through everything he experiences because of his intense self hatred. I’ll revisit the power of self-directed hatred later. It’s important.

The point here isn’t that trans-attracted men are weird or sick. It’s that they came here with a curiosity around a subject most people find so taboo, their beliefs on the subject are intense and likely to trigger harsh judgements. They also cause extreme conservatism towards sex, even though some of those same people who harbor taboo perspectives on these curiosities act out the curiosities themselves. I know this because they often get caught.

Self-loathing common among many

There’s a lot of harsh judgement in Baby Reindeer. Donny does the worst of it, which causes his life trajectory to careen into darkness.

Avid readers of this blog who watch the show will notice that Donny acknowledges as the cause of all the shit that goes down, his extremely intense self-hatred. Again, in one revealing and powerful scene, he admits loving his self-hatred more than anything else, including other people, including himself.

That’s a powerful acknowledgment.

Many trans-attracted men share this powerful hatred. It may not be as intense as it is portrayed in Donny’s life. After all, the story is highly fictionalized. But it’s still there in many trans-attracted men and still intense. That intense emotion always attracts circumstances matching the vibration underneath hatred. And many people have self hatred going on in them. Especially transgender women.

So when watching the show it should be no surprise to anyone that Donny experiences all that he does: failure in his relationship with a cis woman; failure in his dreams to become a comedian; rape at the hands of a male predator; a crazy stalker, and, generally, a fucked up life. It’s all fascinating to watch, painful at times, but so spot on about how the Universe works.

Self-loathing is what makes people “victims”. Remember, there aren’t any victims because people draw to them through their beliefs experiences they live through. “Victims” are vibrational matches to “perpetrators”. Together, they perform a dance, a dance that can destroy and even end in death.

Lives created through self-loathing

Such experiences attempt to alert the person to what’s going on in them. No one can create an experience outside their persistent beliefs. That’s why we encourage clients to clean up their beliefs. Doing so can dramatically improve one’s life experience. Especially in love.

But if a person holds beliefs like Donny does, that person’s experience will look much like the character’s life. The experiences will start as much less intense. Ignored though, and they will increase in intensity. The person will then feel unsatisfied or “unlucky”. In that dissatisfaction, they’ll complain about their life. They’ll see only the worst happening. And in that focus, they’ll invite even more unfortunate experiences.

This often plays out in comments to this blog. I’ll offer absolutely overwhelming evidence the majority of people support trans people, for example, and nearly every commenter will double down on their focus. A focus on things proving their beliefs that the world is against them is “true”. Even though ample evidence shows it’s not.

What those people don’t understand is, that focus is exactly why they experience these experiences. And no one need experience them! Except those who are matches to those experiences.

Getting what they wanted

Baby Reindeer is an amazing movie about trans attraction. And I haven’t even mentioned the spectacular performance delivered by the beautiful transgender actress Nava Mau. I recommend every trans woman watch Baby Reindeer. Every trans-attracted man should too. Maybe those men will see themselves in the Donny character and do something that will help them change their own life experiences.

There’s so much more I can write about this spectacular series. And I’m going to do so in the next post. In the meantime, go watch it. It’s on Netflix.

If you have seen it, share your perspective. What did you think? One client who watched it, watched all seven episodes in one night. Afterwards he could only text me one word: Fascinating.

Transgender women have been asking for a movie like this for a long time. Well, they got one.

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The False Bible Truth That Keeps Killing Trans People

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Some Christians will dispute this, but the Bible itself seems clear on the issue: God hates gays. At least that’s what Christian evangelicals will tell us.

As does the Bible. I mean, it’s clearly stated many, many times throughout the “good book”. And it’s not just gays. Apparently, god also hates trans people. People who love them too.

But is that all really true? Or might the Bible have it all wrong?

I’ve always seen the Bible as something other than the word of god. It’ can’t be the word of god because god didn’t write the Bible. No matter how a theologian will try explaining it, god did not pen the Bible. Man did. And man is fallible.

This post is about a new documentary I watched. It’s called 1946: The Mistranslation That Shifted Culture. This film examines one of the biggest bombshells Christianity dropped on humanity and the massive destruction that bomb created. Turns out that bombshell was based on a lie.

The problem is, that lie shaped the world we see today. One where a lot of Christians don’t act very Christian. One where a lotta far right Christians persecute trans people, believing they’re doing “god’s work”.

Let’s dive in.

The Bible’s original intent was pure

1946, the film, is great. It offers extremely compelling evidence supporting its contention. Its contention is the white, presumably straight, men who translated the most popular versions of the Bible got it wrong when translating two critical terms. They conflated those two terms to mean “homosexual”. Then, publishers used that conflation to fill the entire Bible with the word “homosexual”, thus creating the weaponized version of the Bible many evangelical lay persons and their leaders use to condemn trans people today.

The difference that conflation created sent human civilization on a totally different trajectory than if that translation error never happened.

Not only does the film offer proof, it offers proof that’s extremely compelling. The 20 men translating the Bible were theologians. It’s clear from factual examination of these men’s own notes that their intentions were pure. After the conflation happened, however, another man saw the group’s translation. This other man happened to also be a theologian.

But something else about this guy made him the perfect person to get involved: he also was gay. And he also was a pastor.

This person wrote a letter to the group. He urged them to reconsider the conflation. And he gave compelling reasons why they should. What’s amazing, given today’s Christian perspective on gays, is the group’s leader was super interested in this guy’s opinion. The two exchanged extremely cordial letters about the conflation. In the end, the group leader agreed with the gay pastor: the translation was wrong.

A question that can change the world. From the film’s website.

Sacrosanct words meet politics

However, our process-driven society amplified the problem. Some years would pass and the error didn’t get fixed. In those years, publishers published two other versions of the Bible. Those versions also contained the mistranslation.

Then Billy Graham and Jerry Falwell popularized those translations. They gave mistranslated versions of the Bible for free to congregants. Back then, these two men were Christian rock stars. Their audiences were HUGE. Which meant a lot of people got those Bibles.

Right about this time, Ronald Reagan became president. Politics and Christian values birthed the Religious Right. And that was all she wrote. Needing a foil to keep Christians agitated and engaged, the Politicized Religious Right focused on gays as “the enemy”.

Right around this time AIDS happened. AIDS was the perfect example of homosexual depravity. The Religious Right claimed AIDS was divine retribution for homosexual sin. Momentum took over from there.

This explains why, today, the Bible contains the word “homosexual”. Accurately translating those two words would put the Bible in a completely different standing on gay and trans people. The documentary offers undeniable proof about this. Unless you believe the Bible is the word of god.

And yet, many Christians will not consider this proof. Even though it comes directly from the men who did the translations. Again, many Christians believe the book is the word of god. It is therefore infallible. They don’t consider these words the words of man, translations prone to error.

The power of belief and momentum

The film maker’s family shows how powerful belief in the book as the word of god can be. The film maker is lesbian. Her father is an evangelical pastor. He swears the Bible is the word of god. As such, he believes what the Bible says about homosexuals. Even when presented with proof documentarians found, he’s unwilling to budge. It’s the word of god, he says. End of story.

Not only does this pastor’s example show how powerful Christian belief is, even when it’s based on distortion, it also shows how powerful beliefs in general are. Beliefs and momentum literally create our realities. So many Christians believe like this pastor does. Other pastors believe this too. And they pass that belief on to their flock, using oratory fire and brimstone, thereby creating even more fervent believers.

And so generations have believed this lie. Generations of congregations and generations of Christian leaders too.

Even some gay Christians find themselves believing. They can’t reconcile who they know themselves to be with what their religion tells them. Indeed a central figure in the film is another theologian. Like the pastor who challenges the conflation, this central figure is gay. At one point, inner conflicts drove him to nearly kill himself. In the film he says his life is significantly diminished compared to what it could be had the Bible not been translated the way it was. He claims the Bible destroyed his ability to form intimate bonds with people.

Our beliefs matter. They literally shape reality. Some literally shape society and culture. They are not trifling matters. Decades have passed with many tragedies happening because of this one translation error. A translation error picked up and weaponized by fanatical politicians as well as religious fanatics.

There’s hope

And yet, this documentary can potentially alter our future. I’m holding space for it to reach those who can do something about this egregious lie perpetrated by so many who have come before us. So many claiming to be Christian.

I also hold space for people to watch the film. Some of it is hard to watch. Especially interactions between the film maker and her father. I know after his transition, he’s going to be shocked when he discovers how wrong he was.

And yet, I must offer both the father and the film maker kudos. Despite this enormous difference between them, they maintain a relationship. One seemingly based on love and….tolerance of one another….if not outright acceptance. That’s not something I could do.

I prefer a life where life is peaceful and joyful. People with gross distortions, such as the film maker’s father, don’t appear in my life.

I like it that way.

Whether you’re Christian, gay, trans or otherwise, watch this film. It’s powerful.