The men are coming

Transamorous Man AgeI’m eager for the day when more transamorous men are out and open about their romantic attraction to transwomen. I’m certainly doing my part, with this blog, my new podcast and the fledgling YouTube Channel. I recently sent invitations to like ten men I’ve seen online in various websites, sharing their interest in transwomen via M4T posts. So far not one has accepted the invitation or even replied.

There’s a reason I call The Man’s Guide To Finding Your Transgender Partner “The Man’s” guide. To quote directly from the guide:

It’s called “The man’s guide to finding a transgender partner” for a reason.  Getting what you want means embracing who you are in all your glorious authenticity.  It takes courage, persistence, patience, self-awareness.  You must overcome those fears.  Good news is the Universe is standing by to back you up.  The results you produce will be worth it.

A “man” in today’s world is not the same “man” that you’ve learned in school, from family or books and movies.  A “man” in this case is someone who lives life authentically, on his own terms, who doesn’t give a shit what others think, and has an optimistic, constructive perspective on the life he sees and is creating.

Don’t worry if this isn’t you.  Within every male is a man waiting to get out.  The process outlined in this book is a great way of freeing your authentic manhood.  That’s because living authentically and pursuing your dream will require you to develop those characteristics listed above.

I know there are men who are married to transwomen. I know there are men who are dating transwomen. I know there are at least two men who are being authentic about their attraction to transwomen without a care for what the world thinks of them.

The momentum already has begun. Soon there will be thousands of men, tens of thousands, out and proud about who they love and who they are.

Transwomen and the entire trans community will be so much better off when that day comes. And it is coming.

Our Podcast are going video

Transamorous Network Video Channel Logo

 

 

Yeah, our we’re taking our podcast to the next level by making them into videos and posting them on our YouTube Channel. They’ll be coming out a little slower than our audio podcasts, but they will be worth it.

By the way, our podcast is now available on Google Play, which means if you have an android smart phone, you can subscribe through google to the podcast and get them delivered to your phone each time they’re uploaded.

Of course, we’re also on iTunes and Soundcloud.

No shit.

Cool.

How Many New Yorks are there?

FullSizeRenderAsk 10 people about New York.  You’re likely to get ten different answers. One person might describe Brooklyn.  Another Manhattan.  Another: the museums and tourist attractions. Another: the beautiful people and diversity.  One person might go on about how dirty, crowded, loud, crime-ridden, expensive and appalling the city is.  Another might describe how cosmopolitan, rich, luxurious, beautiful, modern, exciting and fun it is.

All these descriptions are accurate. Are there ten different New Yorks?  The answer is: it depends. What does it depend on? Which story you want to believe. All these descriptions are accurate…for the person describing the city.  All the descriptions have more to do with the person’s intent in experiencing the city, or living there, or working there.  In other words, we experience New York through our stories, our intents, our purposes.

So it goes with our intents, our stories our purposes for relationship.  What is your intent, your purpose for telling a story that “all men who are interested in transwomen are scumbags, users or objectifiers”?  How about “there are no good men who are interested in me”?  What is the purpose in telling the story “I can’t authentically act on my desire for a transwoman because I’ll lose my friends, my job or my current life”?

How you experience your life is totally up to you. You can change the stories you tell about your life.  In doing so, you will change your life.

If you’re wanting to document the what is of your life, keep telling disempowering stories. The only cost is, you’re doomed to repeating disempowering experiences.  If you want to create the “what is” of your life, deliberately, so that your life reflects what you want, instead of what you don’t want.  You may want to look at your stories and why you keep telling them to yourself and to anyone else who will listen.

Where’s your baby?

img_3756.jpgThe infant kind. No, I’m not talking about you birthing a child.  I’m talking about the baby you’re bathing. 

Here: I’ll explain.

We all desire connection. One connection we most want, particularly as adults, is romantic connection. If you’re a transwoman, or a Transamorous Man, you, more than most really desire that kind of connection.  As much as you may think you’re the independent sort, can do it on your own (men) or don’t need a man to validate you (women), if a transwoman (for the men) or a great guy (for transwomen) showed up today and asked you out, I highly doubt you would say no.

Both Transamorous Men and Transwomen therefore have a desire for what every person on the planet wants. So why are you having such a hard time at finding it?  Probably because of your baby.

You see, when you’re complaining that there are no guys out there who will treat you right, you’re unlikely to find those that will.  If you say to yourself, “there are no transwomen in my area” it’s really difficult to find one in your area. The more intensely you think these kinds of thoughts, the more opaque go your lenses.  It gets to the point where there’s no way you can’t see anything but the reality consistent with your thoughts.

I talked recently with a transwoman who was a guest on our Podcast.  Anyway, she had this to say about the pool of men out there who are “admirers” and how they treat transwomen:

…we are kept as secret “discreet” hidden fetish fucks by the majority of admirers who hugged on to hetero-mono-normative relationships while getting into the desserts while no one is looking…How they dehumanize us all while admiring us.

It’s certainly NOT “admiring” when a guy treats a transwoman this way. Not by my definition. And while speaker did acknowledge backhandedly that there are a few “admirers” who won’t treat her that way (did you catch that?), the majority is what she’s focusing on. This is what I’m talking about.  Before she said this, she asked:

So are you asking for a trans-woman to go to your show and speak of rainbows and butterflies in how men date trans women?

If you’re wanting to meet a member of the minority who will treat you with dignity, then yes, I am asking not just our podcast hosts, but every transwoman who sincerely wants to have a real, lasting relationship with a great guy, focusing on “rainbows and butterflies.” Sounds counterintuitive, but this is the path to your joy and happiness, romance and a new life. You don’t have to do so if you’re a guest on our podcast, but you certainly must if you’re wanting a real-life connection.

If you’re thinking “all men” treat you a certain way, or there are “no men” out there who want you, or, that there are “no transwomen” in your area, then you’re throwing out the baby with the bath water. You don’t need “all men”. You just want one, or some number if you’re poly-oriented, or “non-hetero-mono-normative”.  You don’t need every transwoman, you just need one. Focusing on the majority is focusing on the bath water. While you throw all those men out, you’re throwing out the baby too.

So I ask: where’s your baby?

Our podcast update

IMG_0101Thanks to everyone listening to our podcast. iTunes has just approved our podcast for the iTunes store. If you have an IOS device, you can now listen to our podcast via iTunes. We’re working on getting our podcast available on Android via GooglePlay. More on that in the future. I believe you can listen to our podcast on Android in the meantime on SoundCloud. And you don’t need to be a member of SoundCloud to do that. Let me know if you have any questions about playing our podcast. I’m happy to help.