transattraction - The Transamorous Network

March 19, 2019March 19, 2019

Transgender People: They’re Everywhere

Transgender people are everywhere. Even in some of the smallest towns, the most conservative towns, you’ll find transgender people. No matter where you live, transgender or trans attracted, if you’re wanting to find love, it’s out there.

Yet, many such places have few services through which transgender and trans attracted people can get help navigating their identities. Sometimes, such towns can be hostile. So trans and trans attracted people may be under the radar. It might look like they’re not around. But they are.

Think You’re Alone? Think Again.

Centralia, Washington is just such town. Located thirty minutes south of Olympia Washington, Centralia is known for its unusual history being the only town in the United States founded by a black man and son to former slaves. Incredibly, his name? George Washington. True story.

Centralia is also known for its conservatism. Like many rural American communities, it leans republican. Centralia sits in “the most conservative county in Washington” according to Zoe Oliver, a Centralia resident and LGBTQIA activist.

But Centralia is quickly gaining a name for itself as a booming LGBTQIA center in its County, thanks to a handful of organizations and individuals like Oliver.

One such organization is Centralia College. Very open and accepting of people of all kinds, Centralia College is home to the Gender and Sexuality Alliance (GSA). GSA is the longest running LGBTQIA organization in Lewis County. It advocates for broader awareness and acceptance of equality and LGBTQIA education, among other things.

Oliver attends school at the college. She also is vice president of GSA. In January, Oliver, representing the College’s Student Activities Team (SAT) asked us to have a table at their Sexual Health And Awareness Fair held in March. The ask is the first time The Transamorous Network has been invited to attend a live event.

At first we thought to decline Oliver’s invite. It isn’t typically what we do. Knowing what we know about how life works, however, we speculated SAT’s invite represented more opportunity than downside.

We were right.

A Growing LGBTQ Community Likes Our Message

Several organizations, Pierce County AIDS Foundation (PCAF), Mpowerment, Washington, Planned Parenthood and others also staffed tables. While organizers acknowledged student attendance was lower than expected, we met important allies in our work.

Of the people who did attend, we met early-stage transitioning women and men, parents of transgender children, educators who advocate for LGBTQ equality, and allies.

Our booth front blog — Remy sitting at our set up booth. This was the first time we’ve been invited to a public event. (Transamorous Network photo)

Everyone hearing our message that “your stories create your reality” had the same response. “It makes sense” they said. Your stories create your reality, including your behaviors, relationships (or lack thereof), your entire life. They even decide who you meet, when you meet them and how.

Your stories also shape your relationship with sexual health, how you choose sexual partners, who you choose, and how you practice sex.

display booth blog — Our wares we offered during the event. We raffled off two copies of our guides in addition to talking with people about their stories. We were not surprised how many people agreed with our knowing that stories create your reality. (Transamorous Network photo)

We like to say sexual health is more than a condom or dental dam. It starts in the head (with your stories), not between your legs.

That’s the message we brought to the event. It was a unique message well received.

Our Message Is Getting Larger Audiences

We’re excited about what the future holds having made acquaintances in Centralia. We’re not spilling the beans, but it sounds like interesting opportunities may spring from within not only that community, but from others nearby.

Who knows? Maybe we’ll be invited to more such events. We’re always open to following leads our intuition sends us.

At our table blog — Us talking with students and faculty at the Centralia College Sexual Health Education Fair. We met a number of organizations we may work with in the future. (Transamorous Network Photo)

Another thing I got from being there was confirmation of what I already knew: transgender people are everywhere.

Even in the most conservative small towns, you’ll find transgender people looking for love, belonging and needing resources to navigate their lives.

And you can bet if there are transgender people, there are people who love transgender people living there too. So no matter where you live, opportunities for love for trans attracted people are available.

Want to find them? You’re going to have a hard time doing so if you believe they aren’t there. Learn to tell the right stories though and you’ll meet them as easily as putting one foot in front of the other.

Check out this short film we made about our participation at the fair. If you’re new to our material, we overview our approach in this radio interview.

May 1, 2018March 27, 2018

Your state of Grace: your secret weapon

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It doesn’t matter how old you are.

It doesn’t matter how ugly you think you are.

It doesn’t matter how fat or skinny you are.

Your height doesn’t matter either.

Nor your income.

Or your employment status.

Nor whether you have a car or house.

It doesn’t even matter if you’re single or not.

If you’re looking for a partner, you can have him or her, or they or them. The only thing that matters, the only thing that ever matters, is how well you are connected to and realizing your state of Grace.

What is Grace? That can be interpreted many ways. To us it means you are in a constant situation where everything you are wanting is being delivered to you no matter what you’re doing, being or wanting. Whether you know it or not, this state of Grace is always there, always shining down on you, always giving you cues on where to go and when so you can experience endless countless delights along your way to the end of this life experience and the beginning of the next, and the next, and the next.

As I write this, I am basking in my own state of Grace and the results of being in that place. For example, I woke this morning and received the impulse to go to this particular coffee shop. Being tuned into my intuition, I heeded that direction. Less than 20 minutes being there, this guy sat across from me. We struck up and had a wonderful conversation about life and life experience. I was thinking he might be a potential candidate for one of my businesses, but didn’t press the issue.

Later, after the wonderful conversation and while I’m writing this blog post, I got the following text:

Maybe we conduct business and good friendship in the future…you have a great attitude to have towards life Perry. I need to be surrounded by more people with your attitude and outlook to help build more success for myself and others.

So in the land of “making it happen” YOU have to arrange all the details and hope for the best. From where we offer our suggestions, you aren’t in charge of the details. Your job is to enjoy your life experience while the Grace you are endowed with orchestrates the details for you, including that person you’re wanting in your life.

“So where’s my partner then?” you may ask.

Good question. As I wrote above that person is cued up for you. But if you’re not meeting that person, it’s because of only one reason: You aren’t letting the Grace in. Wouldn’t you like to know how you’re not letting it in so that you can change that? Thankfully, I’m going to tell you. 🙂

If you’re angry, depressed, resisting who you are or some part of who you are, unhappy with who you are, unhappy with where you are, unhappy with what is happening to you, unhappy with what happened to you…in other words, if you’re at all dissatisfied with life, feeling negative about anything about your life, you are resisting the grace that is yours.

And because of that, you are literally impeding the flow of that which you are receiving. So the obvious thing to do is ease your resistance about life. No matter how slight that resistance might be.

How do you do that? By telling positive stories about everything about your life. That’s right you have to get pollyanna about your life! And in a short while, you’ll find, like all of our clients have, that your life begins to shape itself into the pollyanna vision you have for it. Just like it has shaped itself into the vision of what you currently have been envisioning up to now.

So, your partner is there and that person is an equal match to your desires. The question really is: Are you?

April 17, 2018March 15, 2018

Men: you gotta understand your love stories

Men (and transwomen). You’re wanting a relationship. Essentially that means you’re wanting love. Do you know what you mean when you talk about “love”?

It’s an important question. Love comes in all kinds of shapes and colors. And definitions. Knowing what “love” is like for you can help you determine if you’re getting what you’re wanting, or what you’re not wanting.

For example, for a long time my “love story” told me that love included fighting, disagreements, coldness, periods of sexual expression, and a smattering of peace. As a result of this “love story”, guess what my relationships looked like?

That’s right, each relationship was incendiary, unstable, and fraught with drama. The sex was good…for a while. But the drama always overwhelmed good sex.

Later I learned a new love story. I learned that love and relationships were a forge designed to toughen and transform hearts into strong independent/interdependent entities capable of “standing on one’s own feet” instead of relying on the love and adoration of another. From that “training” one could love another unconditionally. This story I learned from a book called The Passionate Marriage.

Unfortunately that story created relationships that were more learning laboratories than nurturing really loving ones. Learning 24/7 is not necessarily a fun thing to do. Especially with your intimate partner.

Today my love story is more akin to real “unconditional” love. It says I have the capacity to love everyone because everyone (including myself) is love. More importantly, the most meaningful love for me, and the least capricious love, comes from within. Not from another person.

That kind of love leaves me free to be. More importantly, it allows my partner to be whoever she is too. It allows me to not be affected by the love or the lack of love I get or don’t get from another person. Which leaves me happy and less susceptible to bouts of dramas, disagreements and misunderstandings. These things still happen sometimes, but I’m far less rocked by them. As a result, my relationship is more calm, peaceful and more joyful, mainly because I don’t look in my relationship to find calmness, peace and joy. Instead, I look within, where calmness, peace and joy is available 24/7.

Your love story is creating your reality in relationships. What is your love story? And is it causing you to look for love in all the wrong places?

March 27, 2018April 6, 2018

Where’s your manhood?

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And more importantly, who is defining it? Are you allowing other people, particularly your broke friends who are doing nothing really significant to define for you what manhood is? Are you allowing society to tell you what manhood is? Are you letting your family make that decision for you?

“No” you say?

Well, if you find yourself irresistibly attracted to transwomen, and you’re in the closet about that attraction, then, to put it plainly: you’re a liar.

We talked a lot about this last Monday night in our Facebook show IN YOUR FACE. The fact is, when you let others define what you are (men and transwomen alike) you life a life of shame and embarrassment. Instead, you have the option to be the courageous being you came into the world to be, be-damned what other people think. That’s your destiny.

Why are you letting other people dictate how you feel about yourself?

“I’m not.” You say. Really? So transwomen: why are you out seeking validation of your womanhood from a guy, from facebook, from craigslist, instead of going out and proudly living your life out loud, proud, and thereby finding all the joys of life you came to live? Why are you settling for in-the-shadows relationships, superficial sex-only relationships, or relationships that are otherwise demeaning?

Men: why are you allowing “what others might think” to keep you from being the proud human being you actually are, proud in all its glory, including your trans-attraction? For there is nothing about you to be shamed about. Especially your trans-attraction.

A man defines his own reality. He doesn’t let others define it for him.

The moment you begin to take back control of your reality-creation, you’ll be on your way to meeting the transwoman of your dreams. Every other transwoman you meet is a match to the shame-filled, creeper, down-low life your living.

And you wonder why you’re meeting skeezers, weirdos and gold diggers.

Up your game. Own your reality. Define what it means to be a man and fuck anyone who tries to tell you otherwise. THAT’S how you begin down the path of finding the transwoman of your dreams.

March 13, 2018February 1, 2018

Men: How to love yourself

clem-onojeghuo-YOU GOTTA LOVE YOURSELF — Photo credit: Clem Onojeghuo

Learning how to love yourself is a life-long process that produces results immediately. You also get all you’re wanting. So it’s important that men learn to love themselves. Because that is the access to everything you want. Including the love of your life who happens to be transgender.

By “loving themselves” I don’t mean in this macho way that looks like false pride or false humility. By “loving themselves”, I mean discovering who you are. From that, love of self comes naturally. It can’t help but come because “love” is what you are. So when you discover who you are, you naturally come to love and appreciate yourself. And when that happens, the Universe yields all that you want. Actually, it is always doing that, but your lack of self-love blocks what you’re wanting. “Lack of self-love” looks like stories you tell yourself that crate the reality you don’t want.

I know, sounds all woo. But it isn’t. It’s real. It sounds like woo because that’s what society (and science) tells us about what you’re reading. Religion tells us that too. And often religious people don’t love themselves. Or others. So we get confused about what “love” is when people profess to love but don’t. Particularly when it comes to loving themselves.

But with practice, everyone can find out what love is, simply by examining who and what they are. How? Read on…

First, learn to see positive in everything. I really mean this. You won’t believe how powerful this is (until you do it consistently). Most people I’ve worked with have a hard time getting beyond “superficial” perceptions of “positivity” and into the deep recognition.

For example, take the room you’re in. If I ask: “Tell me ten things that are positive about the room you’re in.” You might easily be able to do that. But if I say “take three minutes and tell me everything in the room that is positive”, most people barely make it to two minutes before they’re having to think really hard about it.

But with practice, you begin to realize just how much much we’re surrounded by positive things: situations, people, events, and more. As that practice expands your conscious awareness, you begin to realize that maybe there’s more to what you see with your ordinary eyes, ears, nose and such.

It seems crazy but seeing everything in a positive way really is the way to loving yourself. There’s more to it, of course, but it’s a perfect start.

Some guys reading this may say “I already love myself”. So far, I’ve seen even the most confident, open people have deep, negative stories about self-worth and self-value, indicating that, while they may appear self-loving on the outside, in reality they are not.

So begin the exploration today. It’s easy and with time you’ll see amazing results. Including the rendezvous with the partner of your dreams. We promise!