I love it when my clients send messages between sessions showing they’re putting what they learn from The Transamorous Network to practice. It’s even more fun seeing them getting awesome results.
I think any transgender woman would love loving a guy like my client DW. Recently DW met a trans girl who is a perfect match to what he’s asked for. She’s happy, smart, well spoken, hot (to him), fun, playful, and likes that he’s been totally transparent about what he wants.
Of course, that transparency comes from learning to tell positive stories, seeing results from doing that and therefore gaining confidence in being transamorous. Telling such stories, DW knows, made him a perfect match for Kim (not her real name). That’s why DW and Kim spent hours together via text, then on the phone, then on video every day early on.
“We can’t call each other spontaneously,” DW said. “Because we know we’ll spend hours together. We have to schedule our calls instead.”
Cute.
Transamory means owning one’s stories
After excitedly talking about Kim one session, DW sent a wonderful text message. The message showed not only how consciously and deliberately DW is implementing what he learned in his sessions, it shows how great the work works!
Clients learn, in session, how stories create reality. When they see evidence proving this statement true, clients, knowing what they learned, get excited. Seeing the work work is intoxicating. Especially when it comes to catching one’s old stories, doing something productive about them and seeing positive results.
Such acts also create empowerment, enthusiasm and joy where there might have been insecurity, shame, fear or frustration. DW’s text perfectly shows this in action. Check it out:
Joe catches his negative story (about himself) in action, then diffuses it like a boss!
It’s never about what it’s about
Bad behavior seems to happen in reaction to what someone observes. It might be something someone says or does, how they look, or maybe even something they don’t do that triggers bad behavior.
“Bad behavior” doesn’t have to be physical action. It can be subtle. Like DW here feeling himself pull away. You can bet at spiritual levels Kim felt that too, although she probably didn’t consciously register it.
But whenever someone “reacts” they’re not reacting to what’s happening. They’re reacting to their story about what’s happening. That’s why most people think their lives consist of random event patterns, some good, some bad, with a preponderance of one or the other. They think their life (their creation) is out of their control. So when they react they think they’re reacting to something out of their control.
When a person learns they’re creating their reality, they learn they control what happens to them. They learn to catch the “creation” early – like DW is doing above. Doing that, they realize they have far more control over their life than they thought. Including their dating life.
People literally can create any reality they want. Unless they think that’s impossible. But, “that’s impossible” is a story. A story creating realities matching it.
See how it works?
You get what you tell stories about
That’s why I say to everyone stories matter. What one thinks about is what they get whether wanted or not.
Understand this, do something about it and watch life how how well it works.
Seeing that, life gets fun. A person can’t help becoming happy. Like DW here. The more that happens, the more life will bring more things matching that happiness.
Each life is each person’s oyster. The question is what are individuals doing with their lives? For my clients, they’re creating their best lives. You can too.
Getting the love you want is not rocket science. Getting the love you want can mean getting EVERYTHING you want in love, no compromises. But first, you must stop compromising! At The Transamorous Network we help with that.
Getting what you want means you have to be happy. That’s because, more than anything, what you want is a happy relationship. If you’re not a match to that, you can’t have it.
At The Transamorous Network we cajole people into working with us by first focusing on relationships. But we also work on everything else, especially with being happy. Because if you’re not happy, you’re a match to others who aren’t happy. If you’re complaining about what you get in relationships, you’re a match to that. You can’t get a wonderful relationship when you complain about the sucky relationship, or no-relationship, you have.
At The Transamorous Network we fix that. Then, everything else follows easily, just like Tiffany says above. You can have the relationship you want. First you have to become a match to that. At The Transamorous Network we show you how.
Frustration sometimes happens when I think I’m not getting what I want. It’s frustrating only because I’m telling myself a false story: that I’m not getting what I want. I know many transgender women and trans-attracted men feel similarly.
But that’s not how reality gets created. I create reality by my attention, not by what I want. So to get what I want, I must put my attention on that.
Or, I can focus on what it feels like having what I want – even when I don’t have it – and through putting attention there, gradually tune my stories to what I want. Doing that I see what I want coming easily.
Proof tells me it’s working
Many things happened showing this working. More clients showing up, publishing deals happening, money coming into my life without me having to do anything to get it, and, yes, trans women showing up too.
I’m wanting my ideal match though, so focusing on becoming more of a match to her – that’s my primary focus as far as relationships go.
Some wonder why I don’t have a partner. Since I say this work works, shouldn’t I be in a relationship?
The answer is: I’m not in a hurry. Fine tuning my life, my way of being and my stories so I match my perfect partner – that’s my goal. Not just being in a relationship. Besides, so much fun in my life happens these days, I don’t miss her.
Power lies in that perspective. Why is that?
Because in not missing her, I’m not telling stories focusing on her absence. Knowing that makes a huge difference.
Moving through to love, joy fun
In knowing that, when moments of frustration or impatience arrive, I realize frustration and impatience helps me get what I want. They tell me where I’m putting my attention. Not knowing that, I keep getting what’s frustrating me.
Trans-attracted men suffer from frustration, impatience and sometimes even anger over not getting what they want all the time. The way out is recognizing what those emotions say, then doing something about it.
Do that, and love, joy, fun, happiness – everything we’re wanting – comes easily. And when we’re matches to love, joy, fun and happiness, then the lover we want – who also is loving, joyful and happy – must come too.
Nothing convinces better than life experience. That’s why I show transgender people and trans-attracted and transamorous men how to create in their lives proof that their stories can fulfill any desire imaginable. Including meeting amazing romantic partners.
But if YOU want to meet your amazing romantic partner, you gotta stop doing what so many other women do.
I have several transgender clients creating living proof that stories create reality. Gradually, their dreams flow into their lives with less and less effort. They’re happy, sure, eager about life and eager about meeting their matches. Like “Nadia” here:
Then there are others…
Occasionally however, I talk with transgender women who are not clients. I share the same stuff I tell my clients. What’s crazy is even though my clients’ lives offer a metric shit-ton of evidence of their dreams becoming real, these transgender women just don’t get it.
But I do.
Not being a Transamorous Network client, it’s hard (but not impossible) to understand your stories about reality create your reality. It’s way easer defending your limiting stories, which in turn limit your life. Like this transgender woman recently did while talking with me on Facebook:
A transgender woman vigorously defending her limiting beliefs with stories detailing what she doesn’t want, instead of what she wants. That’s a problem.
I’m not trans, but I have personal experience helping trans and non-trans people create fun, fulfilling lives. Everyone I work with gets lives filled with everything they want
So when I adamantly say “transgender women can have any future they imagine, and any kind of partner they want,” I mean it. 😌
He’s looking for you. Are you looking in the right places? (Photo by Tamarcus Brown on Unsplash)
Stand in the truth you want to live
Of course, many people know what they want. But most don’t know how to easily get it. Instead they do what others are doing, or what they’ve always done. Like the transgender woman above, when they get results consistent with what others get (results that suck), they get upset, frustrated and rant about what they’re getting. All the while not realizing their frustration exists for a reason.
Any experience a person has is valid. That doesn’t mean it’s the Truth with a capital T, or that their experience is an objective fact. There is no one Truth and there are no objective facts.
For example, many, many transgender women think all men are pieces of shit, want to bottom and fetishize transgender women for their penises.
Two transgender women commiserating over their truths. What is the price they pay for living this truth? Easy: no relationships, or relationships that suck.
SOME men may be this way, sure. And for transgender women who tell such stories, that’s pretty much the only men they meet. So of course, it’s TRUE that SOME men are this way.
But does standing in stories complaining about and commiserating over such men give you what you want? It clearly doesn’t, right?
Is standing in that truth really worth not getting what you want…especially when a better truth exists were you CAN get what you want?
I don’t think so.
Most people don’t know how to easily get what they want
Instead of looking forward to what one wants and talking about that, most people, transgender, trans-attracted or even plain ol’ cis, will complain about what they’re getting. They’ll complain to whoever will listen, and plenty of people exist who will not only listen, but add their own complaints in the mix.
That’s a definite no-no for both parties because in doing that, neither party helps the other get what they want.
One trans woman seeks confirmation of her story…And another gives it, thereby reinforcing the unwanted story for herself and her friend. If you want that amazing guy STOP DOING THIS.
It’s fun when a person understands life always shows one what stories are creating what realities. Only people who understand this though can do something about it thereby fulfilling their desires.
But since most people don’t understand this, they don’t know what to do that’s different. They keep doing the same thing over and over, or do things others are doing, thinking just because others are doing it, it will work for them. 🙄
Life is on everyone’s side
What I know is, life is 100 percent faithful to everyone. It is ALWAYS on every person’s side, showing them the sum total of what stories they’re telling. Life gives them plenty of early warning too, so a person understanding this can change a reality well before it becomes…well…reality.
Life is helping the transgender women in these examples above. But they don’t understand how. So they keep doing what they’re doing and getting what they give the most air-time to: opportunity to complain about men who treat them consistent with their stories.
If you, dear reader, want a different (better) love life, or anything else in your life, you must try a better way.
Impatience is not your friend…well…it is, kinda
People (and transpeople particularly) have a distorted perspective relative to results and time. Before any significant time passes they’re impatient and wondering why they’re not getting what they want.
The transgender woman above complains about what she’s getting or rather what she’s not getting, even though she’s only been dating for 12 months. But twelve months is a blink of an eye in universal terms! And yet, people think that’s a long time, then lose their shit when what they want hasn’t come by then.
That’s lunacy!
Looks are nice, but you’re wanting more than that, I promise. But none of what you want will come easily if you’re impatient. (Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash)
Life will give anyone what they want, but when a person gets impatient about it, it can’t happen. Why? Because feeling “impatient” tells you you’re giving more air-time to your complaint than your desire. And wherever you put your attention, you get more of that. In this case, putting your attention on having no relationship gives you exactly that: no relationship!
You don’t need options
Men and women think having a selection is a good thing. That’s why so many people are on dating sites. But the Universe will give you exactly what you want without you having to search or select.
You don’t need a “pool” of men. Thinking you need a selection means you don’t believe the Universe and life is on your side. You’re trying to do what life will do for you. And it will do it far easier than if you do it.
That’s why it’s so hard finding a partner, trans girl. Stop trying to do the Universe’s job.
You only need one man (if that’s what you want): that one amazing guy. But if you think you need to find him, or select him from a pool, you’re barking up the wrong tree (to mix metaphors LOL).
This bears repeating: The more you complain about the men you don’t want, the more you’re going to connect with that kind of man. Wanting that amazing man in your life means focusing on him. Not on the men you’re meeting who aren’t that.
It’s no wonder so many trans women have similar dating experiences. Most do the same things, get the same results then complain to each other about what they get.
Don’t be those women. Instead, tell stories about the man you want. Revel in the wonderful things going on in your life. Stay away from transgender women who complain. Then watch how life easily gives you what you want.
This may be hard to hear: It’s not the men that are the problem. It’s how you’re going about getting what you want. Change that up and see what happens.
My divorce and what happened next convinces me that stories create reality. Being trans attracted and married to a cis-woman can be painful for everyone. My marriage was no exception. But it also created the best circumstances for me which transformed my life for the better.
This is an awesome story about how I created my way out of a marriage inconsistent with who I was and into a life of happy authenticity, not only as a transamorous guy, but also as someone who positively benefits the world.
This story comes in three parts. Part one shares the awesome story of my divorce. Part two describes what happened next. Part three shows how I have created a whole new reality, one in which I focus all my time and joy on doing things I love, instead of working a job with a boss, a paycheck and the 9 – 5 grind.
Part one: the best divorce ever
I enjoyed being married because it forced me to focus on the only place unconditional love comes: from myself. Yes for a little while I struggled, but not with my trans-attraction. I was clear about that. What I struggled with were my own stories and expectations about relationships, love and belonging.
I married my wife even though she was looking to be with a woman and I was looking to be with a transgender woman. She said I was the answer to a spiritual process she completed in her church. Though we both knew what each other wanted was different than what we represented to each other, we married anyway.
To me, we didn’t marry for love. Our marriage was about spiritual growth.
My wife and I met online. After some months, it was obvious something was there. A sense of togetherness existed, but not really romance. It was a deeper connection, one more difficult to express, but not to experience.
My wife had many problems born of her family of origin, problems I believe she came into reality to become more through. I saw these and wanted to do my part, to play my role in that process. That’s why I married her.
We passed through the first few months in heady fantasy. I ignored obvious trouble signs, both coming from her and me. For my part, trouble felt like not being able to talk with her about my attraction because her issues dominated our relationship “air time”.
After the “honeymoon”, life together started showing stress.
I won’t go into details
That would be too long a post. One day I lay in bed contemplating my next moves after a failed start-up investment. My wife came in the bedroom, looked at me and said “you know, you’re not attractive when you’re moping around like this. Maybe you should spend more time with Law of Attraction.”
At the time I showed interest in that, but a passing interest at best. I didn’t really believe it. This was over five years ago. Little did I know my wife’s prodding began the best time of my life (so far) and that Law of Attraction would play a big part.
Not only did I heed my wife’s urgings, I dove head-first into it. I read Law of Attraction books, but only books written by the person who coined the term. Then I started studying works from Seth and Jane Roberts. Later, I encountered Ayahuasca, the plant medicine originating from Peru and now known around the world as a powerful antidote to trauma and other psychological issues. It also opens consciousness to enlightened wisdom and more.
And oh boy! Mother Ayahuasca didn’t disappoint!
Then came a series of high profile experiences with Law of Attraction, which I’ll write about much later.
Positively stories: the turning point
Many, many high profile experiences happened over ensuing years which, I think, caused my wife to feel jealous and resentful about what was happening. I don’t blame her, it was part of the process. But her resentment and my frustration in marriage widened the gap growing between her and I as I moved more towards my authenticity and she moved towards what she wanted. We both wanted different things, with different people. Our relationship gaped like the Mariana Trench.
Our non-existent sexual relationship dissatisfied her too. I ignored her dissatisfaction along with her complaints. We were well past the point of resolving that incompatibility.
Remember, we both knew I was trans-attracted and she was seeking a woman. There were no surprises in this arena. She complained about it more and more, though, I guess believing her complaints could resolve this fundamental difference. She complained to her friends and family. People who would hear her out. Over time, they convinced her that staying in the relationship was a bad idea.
Things got worse and worse (or better and better) for us both. Following specific instruction from all my sources – Aya, Abraham, Seth, and my own personal trinity – I interacted with her less and less. I told none of my friends or family what was happening, because I know sharing with others causes others to give their (mostly inaccurate) opinions about what is happening.
At one point, she invited me to an open marriage. I knew giving me permission tacitly gave her permission, which is what she really wanted. No biggie, I thought, it was a step in our marriage’s final countdown. As she found a semblance of sexual satisfaction from other men and I focused more on my Inner Being relationship, things came more and more to the wonderful outcome I didn’t expect, but at the same time I felt loomed.
An un-refusable offer
Finally, she gave me an ultimatum. I had to move out of her home where we lived. I wasn’t surprised. But I also hadn’t prepared at all for it. I had a small amount of money and no stable income. I had no place to live and roughly three weeks to find one. I had no car and very little other possessions.
But I was happy.
More happy than I had been in a long time. Even facing divorce, with few human friends and little else, I was happy and I had my Inner Being. I knew that’s all I needed.
By the time she gave her ultimatum, I knew anything was possible. I looked forward to that possibility along with great eagerness. Leaving my wife, at her strong suggestion, launched me on the glorious positive path on which I find myself today.
