Frustration sometimes happens when I think I’m not getting what I want. It’s frustrating only because I’m telling myself a false story: that I’m not getting what I want. I know many transgender women and trans-attracted men feel similarly.
But that’s not how reality gets created. I create reality by my attention, not by what I want. So to get what I want, I must put my attention on that.
Or, I can focus on what it feels like having what I want – even when I don’t have it – and through putting attention there, gradually tune my stories to what I want. Doing that I see what I want coming easily.
Proof tells me it’s working
Many things happened showing this working. More clients showing up, publishing deals happening, money coming into my life without me having to do anything to get it, and, yes, trans women showing up too.
I’m wanting my ideal match though, so focusing on becoming more of a match to her – that’s my primary focus as far as relationships go.
Some wonder why I don’t have a partner. Since I say this work works, shouldn’t I be in a relationship?
The answer is: I’m not in a hurry. Fine tuning my life, my way of being and my stories so I match my perfect partner – that’s my goal. Not just being in a relationship. Besides, so much fun in my life happens these days, I don’t miss her.
Power lies in that perspective. Why is that?
Because in not missing her, I’m not telling stories focusing on her absence. Knowing that makes a huge difference.
Moving through to love, joy fun
In knowing that, when moments of frustration or impatience arrive, I realize frustration and impatience helps me get what I want. They tell me where I’m putting my attention. Not knowing that, I keep getting what’s frustrating me.
Trans-attracted men suffer from frustration, impatience and sometimes even anger over not getting what they want all the time. The way out is recognizing what those emotions say, then doing something about it.
Do that, and love, joy, fun, happiness – everything we’re wanting – comes easily. And when we’re matches to love, joy, fun and happiness, then the lover we want – who also is loving, joyful and happy – must come too.
Nothing convinces better than life experience. That’s why I show transgender people and trans-attracted and transamorous men how to create in their lives proof that their stories can fulfill any desire imaginable. Including meeting amazing romantic partners.
But if YOU want to meet your amazing romantic partner, you gotta stop doing what so many other women do.
I have several transgender clients creating living proof that stories create reality. Gradually, their dreams flow into their lives with less and less effort. They’re happy, sure, eager about life and eager about meeting their matches. Like “Nadia” here:
Then there are others…
Occasionally however, I talk with transgender women who are not clients. I share the same stuff I tell my clients. What’s crazy is even though my clients’ lives offer a metric shit-ton of evidence of their dreams becoming real, these transgender women just don’t get it.
But I do.
Not being a Transamorous Network client, it’s hard (but not impossible) to understand your stories about reality create your reality. It’s way easer defending your limiting stories, which in turn limit your life. Like this transgender woman recently did while talking with me on Facebook:
A transgender woman vigorously defending her limiting beliefs with stories detailing what she doesn’t want, instead of what she wants. That’s a problem.
I’m not trans, but I have personal experience helping trans and non-trans people create fun, fulfilling lives. Everyone I work with gets lives filled with everything they want
So when I adamantly say “transgender women can have any future they imagine, and any kind of partner they want,” I mean it. 😌
He’s looking for you. Are you looking in the right places? (Photo by Tamarcus Brown on Unsplash)
Stand in the truth you want to live
Of course, many people know what they want. But most don’t know how to easily get it. Instead they do what others are doing, or what they’ve always done. Like the transgender woman above, when they get results consistent with what others get (results that suck), they get upset, frustrated and rant about what they’re getting. All the while not realizing their frustration exists for a reason.
Any experience a person has is valid. That doesn’t mean it’s the Truth with a capital T, or that their experience is an objective fact. There is no one Truth and there are no objective facts.
For example, many, many transgender women think all men are pieces of shit, want to bottom and fetishize transgender women for their penises.
Two transgender women commiserating over their truths. What is the price they pay for living this truth? Easy: no relationships, or relationships that suck.
SOME men may be this way, sure. And for transgender women who tell such stories, that’s pretty much the only men they meet. So of course, it’s TRUE that SOME men are this way.
But does standing in stories complaining about and commiserating over such men give you what you want? It clearly doesn’t, right?
Is standing in that truth really worth not getting what you want…especially when a better truth exists were you CAN get what you want?
I don’t think so.
Most people don’t know how to easily get what they want
Instead of looking forward to what one wants and talking about that, most people, transgender, trans-attracted or even plain ol’ cis, will complain about what they’re getting. They’ll complain to whoever will listen, and plenty of people exist who will not only listen, but add their own complaints in the mix.
That’s a definite no-no for both parties because in doing that, neither party helps the other get what they want.
One trans woman seeks confirmation of her story…And another gives it, thereby reinforcing the unwanted story for herself and her friend. If you want that amazing guy STOP DOING THIS.
It’s fun when a person understands life always shows one what stories are creating what realities. Only people who understand this though can do something about it thereby fulfilling their desires.
But since most people don’t understand this, they don’t know what to do that’s different. They keep doing the same thing over and over, or do things others are doing, thinking just because others are doing it, it will work for them. 🙄
Life is on everyone’s side
What I know is, life is 100 percent faithful to everyone. It is ALWAYS on every person’s side, showing them the sum total of what stories they’re telling. Life gives them plenty of early warning too, so a person understanding this can change a reality well before it becomes…well…reality.
Life is helping the transgender women in these examples above. But they don’t understand how. So they keep doing what they’re doing and getting what they give the most air-time to: opportunity to complain about men who treat them consistent with their stories.
If you, dear reader, want a different (better) love life, or anything else in your life, you must try a better way.
Impatience is not your friend…well…it is, kinda
People (and transpeople particularly) have a distorted perspective relative to results and time. Before any significant time passes they’re impatient and wondering why they’re not getting what they want.
The transgender woman above complains about what she’s getting or rather what she’s not getting, even though she’s only been dating for 12 months. But twelve months is a blink of an eye in universal terms! And yet, people think that’s a long time, then lose their shit when what they want hasn’t come by then.
That’s lunacy!
Looks are nice, but you’re wanting more than that, I promise. But none of what you want will come easily if you’re impatient. (Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash)
Life will give anyone what they want, but when a person gets impatient about it, it can’t happen. Why? Because feeling “impatient” tells you you’re giving more air-time to your complaint than your desire. And wherever you put your attention, you get more of that. In this case, putting your attention on having no relationship gives you exactly that: no relationship!
You don’t need options
Men and women think having a selection is a good thing. That’s why so many people are on dating sites. But the Universe will give you exactly what you want without you having to search or select.
You don’t need a “pool” of men. Thinking you need a selection means you don’t believe the Universe and life is on your side. You’re trying to do what life will do for you. And it will do it far easier than if you do it.
That’s why it’s so hard finding a partner, trans girl. Stop trying to do the Universe’s job.
You only need one man (if that’s what you want): that one amazing guy. But if you think you need to find him, or select him from a pool, you’re barking up the wrong tree (to mix metaphors LOL).
This bears repeating: The more you complain about the men you don’t want, the more you’re going to connect with that kind of man. Wanting that amazing man in your life means focusing on him. Not on the men you’re meeting who aren’t that.
It’s no wonder so many trans women have similar dating experiences. Most do the same things, get the same results then complain to each other about what they get.
Don’t be those women. Instead, tell stories about the man you want. Revel in the wonderful things going on in your life. Stay away from transgender women who complain. Then watch how life easily gives you what you want.
This may be hard to hear: It’s not the men that are the problem. It’s how you’re going about getting what you want. Change that up and see what happens.
Question: I’m transgender. How many days does it take to create something like the perfect man I want in my life?
Short answer: it depends.
An objective reality doesn’t exist. So it’s not possible to answer such a question with a specific number of days and expect that to be “the average number of days” or “the least amount of days” that would be accurate for everybody.
The only reality that exists is the one perceivable by the perceiver. In other words, physical reality is a 100 percent subjective experience. The same is true when creating.
So the number of days it takes to create something like meeting a perfect mate depends on the person’s subjective experience and their stories, which includes how much they doubt or believe what it is they’re trying to create.
If a person has a lot of doubts or resistance about what they’re trying to create, it’s gonna take much longer than if they have pure focus on what it is they’re wanting and they believe what they’re wanting is possible.
For example, I recently enjoyed chatting with transgender women on Facebook about their stories about men. These transgender women, like many transgender women, have strong, disempowering stories about men, about trying to find a man, and about dating in general.
An example of powerful negative stories creating realities this person doesn’t want.
So it’s not likely these women will meet what they want anytime soon.
Also, it depends on what it is one wants. If somebody wants to create something they believe is easy, which is the same thing as saying something they have no resistance about, it can be theirs in a few hours.
But most people don’t have clean stories on topics they consider to be “serious“ or things they really, really want such as a monogamous “straight” man they can spend their lives with.
So, the number of days it takes depends on the desire, and how much resistance someone is holding about the desire. It can take a few hours, or it can never happen.
The good news is, evidence it’s happening is immediate, if you know where to see it. And in seeing the evidence, one gets encouraged. Encouragement speeds up the process, so before you know it, your life IS better.
Any transgender or trans-attracted person can live life with all their desires fulfilling themselves. No exceptions. Transamorous Network Clients know living that life requires attending to what creates life experience: one’s stories.
The good news: once someone examines their stories, while telling better-feeling ones instead of those they tell by default, evidence is immediately apparent. In other words, proof shows up right away, proving that telling positive stories works. You just need to know how to see the evidence.
In this video, long-term client Nadia describes what her life is like now after consistently telling stories that feel good. Listen her testimony. Listen how confident she is, how lightly she describes changes she’s made, just by telling positive stories.
You can have this life too. No matter how much your life might suck today, no matter how good your life is now, it can get better. And it’s easy getting there by working with the one thing creating your life experience. That’s the stories you tell.
There’s so much to being transgender or trans-attracted. Both perspectives change worlds. Both bring so much value, I wonder why so many transgender women struggle emotionally, in relationships and life in general. I wonder too why so many trans-attracted men live in shame and embarrassment.
Then I remember how once I lived the same way. That’s why I started The Transamorous Network. It’s here to free trans-attracted men, primarily, and transgender women, so they can live lives they came to live: free of guilt and shame, happy lives where not only they get the love they want, they get everything else they want too.
That’s all out of reach if people in both groups don’t feel worthy. By worthy I mean feeling they deserve everything they want. It’s hard feeling that way though when life shows someone they aren’t getting everything they want.
But that’s why I created The Transamorous Network. Because everyone creates their experience. They may not get what they want now, but because they create their experience – through stories they tell – getting what they want is as easy as getting what they are getting now: what they don’t want.
It works both ways
Feeling worthy while not believing one is worthy isn’t possible. Coming into one’s worthiness happens naturally though when one starts learning how stories create reality, then applying what they learn in their daily life.
Before they know it, life starts showing them how accurate “your stories create your reality” is. The more evidence shows up, one not only feels more empowered, they want more evidence.
Why?
Because getting what one want’s feels so good, especially when one hasn’t been getting what they want for so long, the person just wants more.
In time, so much evidence piles up, a person no longer thinks about “your stories create reality”. It’s just “truth” to them. Just like for many transgender women “all men are chasers” occurs as “truth”.
Feeling worthy is easy
In time, worthiness wells up. When that happens, feeling worthy is easy. Evidence makes it easy. Evidence draws worthiness from within the person. Worthiness is always there. For many transgender and trans-attracted people, their worthiness gets covered up by negative stories.
Worthiness then feels like UN-worthiness.
Finding worthiness allows plenty, including plenty of partners and mates, plenty of money, plenty of everything. And when a person gets to having all that, they naturally express that worthiness in ways that change the world around them.
Everyone is worthy. That includes transgender and trans-attracted people. We come into the world to shape new worlds. The joy of shaping worlds happens when we embrace our worthiness. Our worthiness comes from knowing we create our reality through stories we tell.
Until we make that connection though, new worlds still happen. It’s just not as fun.
