Tag: transamorous men

Posted on

Why A Passable Trans Girl Might Not Make You Happy

Let’s face it: not every transgender woman is passable. But that needn’t pose problems for trans women or trans-attracted men. In fact, it can be the best thing ever for both parties, if both parties get over stories blocking the best relationship ever. At The Transamorous Network we show people how to get over those stories.

Tiffany sure gets it. She’s a Transamorous Network client and last week we concluded in a recent 1:1 session of hers that trans-attracted men and trans women both struggle over many common stories. Stories about trans-attracted men, masculinity, femininity, passing, topping and desires both transgender women and trans-attracted men share.

For example, it seems some trans-attracted men want what some trans women don’t want. Is that true? Or is there more to the story?

We enjoyed exploring those and many other answers. Sharing them might open some minds so we included takes in a shortened session video.

Trans-attracted men – lets get real

Take note my brothers. If you believe you can’t find a trans woman who will be with you, you’re right. Such beliefs keep you from getting what you want.

In other words, if you believe you can’t find a trans woman who will be with you, then what you want, and what you believe conflict. That conflict leaves you stuck in perpetual frustration.

The way out involves finding harmony between what you believe and what you want.

The trouble is, most trans-attracted men won’t reconcile what they want and what they believe. So they struggle…alone.

Bro, if you want that beautiful transgender woman, you gotta reconcile your resistance and your desire. There are plenty of trans women out there who will give you exactly what you want. Mainly because they enjoy it too.

Trans-attracted men don’t want what they want.

But if you think you’re going to find a super-passable trans woman, who also will top you with their penis…if they got one…good luck with that. We explain why in the video above.

Getting what you want is impossible if you’re looking for something that contradicts what you believe. Yet so many men do exactly that. They look for something in total contradiction with what they believe. Then complain when they can’t find what they want.

The trans woman you want is not going to be one waging chemical warfare on their testosterone. Not if you want her topping you. And most really passable trans women get that way by blocking hormones responsible for topping behavior.

The good news: you can get what you want in love and get it through a trans girl. But you must be willing to give up something: either your desire…or your belief.

Posted on

Happy Stories Make Wonderful Cis-Trans Relationships

Photo by Christopher Beloch on Unsplash

I love it when my clients send messages between sessions showing they’re putting what they learn from The Transamorous Network to practice. It’s even more fun seeing them getting awesome results.

I think any transgender woman would love loving a guy like my client DW. Recently DW met a trans girl who is a perfect match to what he’s asked for. She’s happy, smart, well spoken, hot (to him), fun, playful, and likes that he’s been totally transparent about what he wants.

Of course, that transparency comes from learning to tell positive stories, seeing results from doing that and therefore gaining confidence in being transamorous. Telling such stories, DW knows, made him a perfect match for Kim (not her real name). That’s why DW and Kim spent hours together via text, then on the phone, then on video every day early on.

“We can’t call each other spontaneously,” DW said. “Because we know we’ll spend hours together. We have to schedule our calls instead.”

Cute.

Transamory means owning one’s stories

After excitedly talking about Kim one session, DW sent a wonderful text message. The message showed not only how consciously and deliberately DW is implementing what he learned in his sessions, it shows how great the work works!

Clients learn, in session, how stories create reality. When they see evidence proving this statement true, clients, knowing what they learned, get excited. Seeing the work work is intoxicating. Especially when it comes to catching one’s old stories, doing something productive about them and seeing positive results.

Such acts also create empowerment, enthusiasm and joy where there might have been insecurity, shame, fear or frustration. DW’s text perfectly shows this in action. Check it out:

Joe catches his negative story (about himself) in action, then diffuses it like a boss!

It’s never about what it’s about

Bad behavior seems to happen in reaction to what someone observes. It might be something someone says or does, how they look, or maybe even something they don’t do that triggers bad behavior.

“Bad behavior” doesn’t have to be physical action. It can be subtle. Like DW here feeling himself pull away. You can bet at spiritual levels Kim felt that too, although she probably didn’t consciously register it.

But whenever someone “reacts” they’re not reacting to what’s happening. They’re reacting to their story about what’s happening. That’s why most people think their lives consist of random event patterns, some good, some bad, with a preponderance of one or the other. They think their life (their creation) is out of their control. So when they react they think they’re reacting to something out of their control.

When a person learns they’re creating their reality, they learn they control what happens to them. They learn to catch the “creation” early – like DW is doing above. Doing that, they realize they have far more control over their life than they thought. Including their dating life.

People literally can create any reality they want. Unless they think that’s impossible. But, “that’s impossible” is a story. A story creating realities matching it.

See how it works?

You get what you tell stories about

That’s why I say to everyone stories matter. What one thinks about is what they get whether wanted or not.

Understand this, do something about it and watch life how how well it works.

Seeing that, life gets fun. A person can’t help becoming happy. Like DW here. The more that happens, the more life will bring more things matching that happiness.

Each life is each person’s oyster. The question is what are individuals doing with their lives? For my clients, they’re creating their best lives. You can too.

Posted on

Love What You Have, Get What You Want

The Transamorous Network
The Transamorous Network

Editor’s note: In this series, we’ll highlight conversations with our readers/viewers. We think folks will benefit from these conversations. All names are made up to protect everyone’s privacy.

Dear The Transamorous Network

Hi, very happy to have found you and all your blogs.

I have been trans attracted for as long as I can remember back into my early teens. I can remember the first time I saw a picture in a magazine revealling a very attractive trans woman before the internet existed so I am thinking for me it is baked in.

My thought on the subject of “tranny chaser” is that it is no different than any other baked in desire for me personally. I work with guys who will drop everything including their jaw when a large butt wanders by, I have a friend who requires nothing more than a large pair of breasts and a pulse. I like legs.

A trans woman with great legs is a huge plus and they are quite common. I am married and have been for decades, pretty happy, she has great legs and large breasts. The breasts are nice but down on the list for me behind a great personality and loyalty, honesty etc. The fact that the trans women I have met and dated in the past had a penis was definitely a plus but a penis is quite common and I have one that I enjoy, so it has to be more than that for me.

Looks are always going to be the first selling point but having dated great looking women and trans women in the past that had unattractive personalities I can state that for me there needs to be more. I discovered that with the right trans woman a true and honest date and meaningful conversation can really bring out the best in a jaded person.

Getting to second base has always been after the personality shows up and it is one I can enjoy. I have noticed that even though the trans women I have known well have all had regular everyday office jobs or as a nurse in one instance and that they have a lot to offer in the work place and in a relationship.

To be trans is a decision that is not an option, it is also baked in and the problems and speed bumps that are attached to the lifestyle make for a solutions oriented, problem solving, person that has to battle adversity, usually alone.

I am thankful to have had the opportunity to have met some very cool trans women and cis women. Luckily for me because personality is high on my requirements, age, height, background, race, wealth, blonde, brunette matter very little.

Everything is negotiable in my head. I have some things I find unattractive, smoking, lazyness, lack of independence, but not deal breakers I have discovered. So having said all that, am I still a “tranny chaser”?

I would think, no. I think I like women and a woman with a penis is not a problem. I very much like to find what makes a womens engine rev hard and knowing what makes a penis and a prostate work can very much work in my favor.

Cis women seem to be a bit reserved sexually in my experience, not so much with trans women who know what they want.

Turns out males have no attraction for me, not even slightly as I can attest to having been subjected to gay sex on TV lately. Not a flicker of anything. I like women, lucky for me. Looks like a duck, quacks like a duck for me it is a duck. Thank you for being there for us trans amourous guys.

Kyle

Hey Kyle,

Well that was a fun read!

We’re happy you found us too. What a fun perspective you have, open, thoughtful, considered. It’s so fun seeing men like yourself writing us and, in doing so affirming (both for transgender women and trans-attracted people) the validity of being trans-attracted, having genital preferences, body preferences, boob preferences, leg preferences, women, men, tall, short…preferences. Preferences aren’t just good, they’re great!

The only reason a trans woman labels a man a “chaser” is from their own frustration, bitterness and self-loathing combined with not getting what they want. The problem is the woman throwing that word around doesn’t know she’s setting herself up to be bitter and alone…or faced with compromising what she really wants for something less than that. Meanwhile “chasers” are getting what they want!

Everyone can get what they want. The world is big enough, the trans community is big enough. The question is: is any given individual’s stories big enough to include what they want?

For most, it’s obvious, isn’t it?

We encourage people tell stories only about what they want, then watch what happens. We like your comment because it’s a direct response to what we want: more men loving themselves.

Well done!

Posted on

Why Transgender And Trans-Attracted Love Is Powerful

We’ve said over and over that transgender woman and trans-attracted men potentially change the world for the better. We’ve also said how each transgender woman is special and mentioned the special role they play.

It’s likely no surprise to some transgender women that this is so. After all, early civilizations venerated trans people, saw them as more than ordinary humans and treated them as such.

But looking at how transgender women carry themselves in the world today, how they think about themselves, how they think about men who find them attractive, you’d think (mostly correctly) that many transgender women today don’t venerate themselves.

We created The Transamorous Network to help change that.

You don’t get it…until you do

It took our podcast co-host Remy a single tea date and reading our guides to get who she was. Two years later, she changed her life. She went from believing all men are scum to living her life powerfully, including drawing to her a man who moved across the country to marry her.

Today, more than two years later, they’re still married.

In the seed of every transgender woman a powerful, world-changing being lurks. Same is so for trans-attracted men.

But feeling shameful or insecure about being different or fearing what others think about your difference generates experiences counter to who transgender women and trans-attracted men really are. So too when trans women try extracting positive compliments from others, such as “passable/not passable?” or “fuckable/not fuckable?”

Such playful-seeming actions on the part of transgender women mask insecurity. No one who loves themselves cares about what others think about them.

Recently, Tiffany, a Transamorous Network 1:1 client asked about this “specialness”. She wanted more about how transgender women, and by extension, trans-attracted men, are special, world changers, here to help humanity become more and better by themselves living their authenticity.

Here’s how that conversation went.

Words shared in this conversation mean little. But when life shows a transgender woman or a trans-attracted man these word’s accuracy, then the person hearing them, and experiencing life consistent with them, becomes absolutely convinced they are world-leaders here for a big purpose.

And along with that purpose comes the potential to fulfill every desire.

Positive stories will prove life convincing

But unless a transgender woman or trans-attracted man has personal experiences in their own lives like Transamorous Network clients, or like Remy has had, it’s hard to believe.

It’s only hard to believe because each person creates reality consistent with stories they tell. If, for example, a transgender woman believes they aren’t worthy of being loved by a man, or if a man believes he can’t find a trans woman who will love him for who he is…then both create realities consistent with those beliefs.

A transgender woman on Facebook complaining via her negative stories about men (and another transgender woman endorsing this story). It’s no wonder she struggles finding a man. The stories she tells aren’t consistent with what she wants.

Standing in those realities, I get why transgender women complain, bicker, call all men fetishizers, closeted gays or worse. I also understand why men seeking transgender women call the objects of their affection skeezers, gold-diggers, drama queens or worse.

Such labels spring from knee-jerk reactions indicating displeasure with realities each person is creating. The problem though is a person can’t change a reality they’re constantly complaining about.

It’s easy to get what you want

Getting what you want is supposed to be effortless, fun and guaranteed. Who stands between you and getting what you want? No one but you. So getting what you want is as easy as getting out of your own way and letting it happen.

It’s the “letting it happen” that’s hard. Most people aren’t willing to do that. Most want to “make it happen”, which is why so many people are dating online. They don’t believe life can lead them directly to their lover, so they get in there and try to do it.

Or they’re too impatient. They tell stories about running out of time, being too old, or worse – that they are beyond an age where they’re still attractive.

That’s why so many relationships suck. People push against what should be easy, thus making it really hard.

Letting it happen doesn’t mean sitting on your ass and waiting for that man or woman to come to you, although some waiting is required. Letting it happens means learning how “letting it happen” works, then stepping into one’s power, and using levers everyone comes equipped with to create a reality of one’s choosing.

Then everything happens in magical ways. Only it’s not magic.

Transgender women and trans-attracted men are on the forward edge of what it is to be human. It sucks being trans or trans-attracted when you don’t know that, and don’t own it.

Own it though and the world becomes your oyster.

Posted on

How To Get The Love You Want – Trans Or Trans-Attracted.

Getting the love you want is not rocket science. Getting the love you want can mean getting EVERYTHING you want in love, no compromises. But first, you must stop compromising! At The Transamorous Network we help with that.

Getting what you want means you have to be happy. That’s because, more than anything, what you want is a happy relationship. If you’re not a match to that, you can’t have it.

At The Transamorous Network we cajole people into working with us by first focusing on relationships. But we also work on everything else, especially with being happy. Because if you’re not happy, you’re a match to others who aren’t happy. If you’re complaining about what you get in relationships, you’re a match to that. You can’t get a wonderful relationship when you complain about the sucky relationship, or no-relationship, you have.

At The Transamorous Network we fix that. Then, everything else follows easily, just like Tiffany says above. You can have the relationship you want. First you have to become a match to that. At The Transamorous Network we show you how.