How Lesbian Trans Women Best Meet Great Matches Pt. 2

Photo by We-Vibe Toys on Unsplash

In part one, we examined a comment offered by a transgender woman who happens to be lesbian. Today, let’s continue examining those stories. Here’s the comment she made:

My problem with all of this is: what about transgender women who are not attracted to men? I am one of those. Yes, I have had bisexual encounters in the past, but that was purely to satisfy a sexual desire at the time.

I honestly have never felt any attraction towards men, hence if I’m thinking about a committed relationship, I would love to hear how and where a transgender female can meet someone that is potentially interested in her. I find it a very tricky topic: going to a typical lesbian venue could easily lead to having difficulties because of being a trans person. And that seriously limits the options to meet someone. I genuinly have not been able to think of a solution for this challenge. So, I would love to see an article on it!

Last time we looked at the story she’s telling that tells her she has a problem. That’s a problem. When one tells a story about having a problem, and voicing such a sentiment is storytelling, then one indeed stands in a problem. So our friend first must tell better feeling stories, ones that don’t create “problems”. 

I’d like to double down, please

The next story offers even more resistance blocking our friend from enjoying what she wants:

I find it a very tricky topic:”, she says. Then she doubles down on this one by offering details about why the problem feels tricky. Both amplify creative momentum introducing circumstances wherein she gets what she talks about: not getting what she wants.

“…going to a typical lesbian venue could easily lead to having difficulties because of being a trans person. And that seriously limits the options to meet someone.

She next tells another story amplifying momentum even more:

I genuinely have not been able to think of a solution for this challenge.”

So our friend experiences what she wants as beyond her ability to figure out. She cannot unravel the problem of figuring out where and how she can get what she wants.

Such circumstances exist commonly among people. Mainly because people don’t understand how easily reality happens. Or where it comes from.

Life needn’t be hard. Even for trans lesbians.

There’s no special “where”

So nearly everyone moves away from their desires. But they don’t know why that happens. Which is why so many live in frustration, anger and annoyance. Or anxiety, insecurity or a state of compromise relative to their dreams.

From there, people look to others hoping for solutions. And, since most people all do the same thing, the only recourse for folks lies in copying what they see leaving nearly everyone wanting, but hot having. Seeking but not finding. Can you guess where that leads?

That’s right. More frustration. No wonder so many turn to and fail on online dating sites. Even though so many people gather there, hoping for love. We wrote about how sucky online dating is. And how bad the success rate is.

But there’s an easier way. And a more fun way. But so long as people conclude the way others get their stuff represents the only way they can get their stuff, frustration, more often than not, results.

For example, most think they need to “go to where all the single ladies are” to meet single ladies. Bars, clubs, dating websites, weddings…these events become their only go-to options.

Notice a LOT of people meet people this way. But have you considered how exhausting, time consuming, frog-kissing sucky and uninspiring going to a bar is? And how many who do meet someone that way actually end up in lasting love?

There’s no special place to meet your ideal partner. Well, there is. The special place is wherever you are. Because there is where the Universe leads you. And when you follow your Inner Being guidance, spawned from positive stories, you’ll find your ideal relationship unfold in a beautiful, fun, exciting and deeply exhilarating way.

Uniquely you power

Humans are unique. The cool thing about being human is that uniqueness. It’s powerful. The ones doing what everyone else does make their experiences not unique. The key to a wonderful life filled with everything one wants is leveraging that uniqueness.

Part of that leverage comes from knowing the Universe has your back. Hard to know that when you don’t know how that works. But that’s what The Transamorous Network is about. You see, the Universe already knows this lesbian woman’s match. It’s already got her ready to meet this transgender woman.

But the transgender woman keeps thinking thoughts (telling stories) that prevent her from going where her mate is! Her mate is not at a bar. Nor is she online!

Way worth repeating: Most people try what others do to get what they want. Instead of relying on their connection to their inner knowing, which is their connection to the Universe, they look at what others do and copy that. Or they allow others to influence them into doing differently from what they feel would work.

Doing that, they limit the Universe’s unlimited power to deliver what they want in a surprising, delightful way.

The best way to meet your match is by finding positive things about your life and emphasizing those things by talking about only those. (Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash)

It’s more fun “by accident”

Surprise and delight implies “by accident”. It implies one minds their own business. While doing that, enjoying their lives, doing things they like, they make themselves happy. They see no problems.

Meanwhile, the Universe is on it. It’s giving everyone hunches of where to go, what to do, what to look at.

It’s doing the same thing with your future partner. If she’s a match, she’s doing the same thing you’re doing. She’s enjoying life, doing things she likes. She’s not telling negative stories about where you are and why she can’t find you. Instead, she’s following her hunches. Just as you are…or should or could be.

Then, one day, you’re driving down the road. On your right, you notice a doughnut shop. At that precise moment, your gut says, “turn into the doughnut shop!”

You’re not hungry for doughnuts, but the hunch, the impulse is there. You like doughnuts, but you’ve never been to this shop before. You’re kinda hesitant to go, but you’ve practiced following your hunches and telling positive stories about your wonderful female partner.

So, instead of saying “I’m not hungry,” and drive on, you say “what the hell,” and turn into the driveway.

The only open parking space is next to a late model BMW. You pull in. You’re now facing the street. The shop is behind you. When you open the door to get out, you accidentally hit a woman who’s trying to get into the passenger door of the BMW. Startled, she turns around, you look up…and…out of your mouth come the perfect words…

…Next thing you know it, you two are on a date getting to know each other.

That’s how it works

Viola! No dating sites. No hangovers or late nights. You stopped trying to find her. Instead, it just happened, seemingly by accident.

Only it’s NOT an accident.

How does that happen?

  • You stop telling negative stories about what you want.
  • Then you make yourself a match to your desire, by telling positive stories about what you want.
  • Then you start noticing how good you feel after consistently telling positive stories.
  • The better you feel, the more “happy accidents” start happening in your life.
  • That’s when you discover a quiet voice inside of you giving you instructions on what to do, where to go.
  • The more you follow those, the more “happy accidents” happen.
  • Then came the one “accident” you wanted in a delightful, surprising way.

It was almost as if the Universe was promising you what it had up its sleeve and guided you right to where it pulled the rabbit out of the hat!

And that’s exactly what it is doing for people telling positive stories.

We show people how

This is how our clients create amazing lives. They learn what you just read. Then they put it into practice. The practice shows them it’s working. The more it shows them, the more excited and happy they get. Before they know it, their lives improve at a phenomenal pace. Then they sound like this:

A client shares how telling positive stories about her life created a way more positive life.

No one came into the world to do what others are doing. That especially includes transgender people. But everyone gets mixed up about this because physical reality is initially bewildering.

We show transgender people and those who love them how to get the love they want easily and effortlessly. That’s the way they knew it could happen before reality’s initial bewildering nature threw them off track.

Finding a lover, whether you’re trans, lesbian or trans-attracted needn’t be the struggle most make it. But it is when people tell stories making it that way.

Tell better stories, and the world becomes your oyster. Not only that, you get to decide what kind of pearl you find.

Ready to create find pearl? We’re here to help.

How Lesbian Trans Women Best Meet Great Matches

Photo by We-Vibe Toys on Unsplash

Editor’s note: this post comes in two parts. The second part follows next week.

Good news: Transgender men and cis women now write us asking for advice on creating dating success. We always knew this would happen. The Transamorous Network exists to assist the entire transgender community. That always included transgender men.

It also includes anyone who feels attracted to transgender people. And of course, it includes transgender women who are lesbian.

Today, we’re offering this post addressing the latter group. Specifically, we’re responding to the following comment we recently got via our contact page:

My problem with all of this is: what about transgender women who are not attracted to men? I am one of those. Yes, I have had bisexual encounters in the past, but that was purely to satisfy a sexual desire at the time.

I honestly have never felt any attraction towards men, hence if I’m thinking about a committed relationship, I would love to hear how and where a transgender female can meet someone that is potentially interested in her. I find it a very tricky topic: going to a typical lesbian venue could easily lead to having difficulties because of being a trans person. And that seriously limits the options to meet someone. I genuinly have not been able to think of a solution for this challenge. So, I would love to see an article on it!

To start, we’re going to burst a bubble. Don’t worry, it’s a good thing. Ready?

Lesbian dating isn’t unique

Some people think their status, whatever it is, makes them unique. Recently on Medium.com, we got a disparaging comment attempting to chastise us for offering advice to the transgender community when The Transamorous Network founder, who is non-binary and prefers “they/them” pronouns, themselves aren’t trans.

Our response to that person is the same response we offer everyone. The “trans” experience is not special. Nor is it unique. Like any other experience people experience, the transgender experience is a HUMAN experience. The same holds for transgender women who know themselves to be lesbian.

And, since the human experience fits in with the way the Universe works, the best, most fun way for transgender women who love women to meet their matches coincides with the way transgender heterosexual women and trans-attracted men meet their matches.

Said differently: transgender lesbian humans and their experiences are highly susceptible to stories such people tell about their experiences. In fact, it is ONLY their stories influencing their experiences.

Now some might respond with the worn out trope about blaming victims. Pessimistic people will say women who get raped aren’t creating that reality. They’ll jump to such examples while not thinking about what they’re saying.

As hard as it might be to hear, people experience rape the same way people who get what they want experience that. Were that false, if any exception existed to what we offer as “Universal Laws”, these “laws” couldn’t be called “laws”.

It doesn’t matter what you are. You can have everything you want. But you first must become a match. Living a transgender experience combined with a lesbian experience makes it no more difficult.

Extraordinary opportunity

What so many miss when they get caught up in the false “rape/victim blame scenario”, is the ENORMOUS power and ability available in the statement “stories create reality.”

If “stories create reality” is true (it is), then NOTHING IS OFF THE TABLE. Everything is possible. Everything! Not only is everything possible, everything possible (that’s everything) can happen with no effort on anyone’s part.

So not only can everyone get ANYTHING they want, they can get it super EASY.

This means a transgender lesbian meeting her perfect match is super easy. All she need do is figure out how “stories create reality”, then implement that how.

Our clients get this. That’s why their lives excite them. And, the more evidence they create proving to them “stories create reality”, the more excited they get.

Their excitement comes accompanied by happiness. After all, how can you not be happy when you see everything you want, and then some, happening?

So smart people who hear “stories create reality” immediately see this extraordinary opportunity. The opportunity to create and have anything they want. Instead of jumping to the “rape/victim blaming scenario”, smart people will say “tell me how this works!”

There’s no reason a transgender person’s experience shouldn’t be filled with self-fulfilling desires. And, those desires can happen easy, making life equally easy.

How stories create mis-matches

Let’s just accept for now that “stories create reality”, whether you believe that or not. From that accurate assertion then, let’s examine the comment we got through our website. You’ll see how the commenter’s stories create the reality she experiences as described in the comment. Here it is again. No scrolling up required:

My problem with all of this is: what about transgender women who are not attracted to men? I am one of those. Yes, I have had bisexual encounters in the past, but that was purely to satisfy a sexual desire at the time.

I honestly have never felt any attraction towards men, hence if I’m thinking about a committed relationship, I would love to hear how and where a transgender female can meet someone that is potentially interested in her. I find it a very tricky topic: going to a typical lesbian venue could easily lead to having difficulties because of being a trans person. And that seriously limits the options to meet someone. I genuinly have not been able to think of a solution for this challenge. So, I would love to see an article on it!

The first story the writer offers is that “there is a problem”.

If a person thinks a problem exists, they need an answer. The problem with finding the answer is, if one keeps looking at the problem, they can’t get the answer. That’s why it’s so hard to find something that’s lost.

So long as our friend here looks at her problem “finding out how to meet a woman she can love”, for example, she is not open to the solution. So it won’t come.

That’s the first story she must soothe.

How does she do that?

Create better stories

She makes up any number of stories that turn “the problem” into something else. Any of these will work:

  • Lots of times in the past I discovered an answer about X. I can do that again.
  • I don’t have to know the answer to get the answer
  • I’m eager to see how I will meet my wonderful match
  • I don’t need to be in a hurry about this
  • I have plenty of time to figure this out
  • More challenging things have worked out in my life than this

These new stories can soothe the “problem story” our friend keeps telling into irrelevance.

The old saw “what you resist persists” is true. So does “what you look at continues to be”. If our friend doesn’t like that she can’t find a female lover, she must stop looking at the fact that she doesn’t have one and can’t find one. Sounds crazy, but that’s only because people don’t understand why this works.

The key to coming up with better feeling stories is new stories that make the story teller feel better. That means the ability to feel is extremely important.

In part two, we’ll continue looking at stories this woman tells that keeps her not having what she wants. Then recommend how she can get exactly what she wants.