Trans-attraction - The Transamorous Network

July 20, 2021June 6, 2021

When Shame Kills Happy Trans-Attraction Love

Editor’s note: In this series, we’ll highlight conversations with our readers/viewers. We think folks will benefit from these conversations. All names are made up to protect everyone’s privacy. This letter and response are particularly long. We felt it important to include both the full letter and reply because it would help men like the person who wrote us.

Dear The Transamorous Network,

I feel very ashamed. Yesterday I had an encounter with a trans escort. I don’t feel proud of it because in some way I feel I contributed to the escort world, which is something against my values. I don’t want to justify it, but I realized I did it due to a buildup of tension over many years.

As a teenager I realized, accidentally, that porn featuring women with penises was the main category that turned me on. I felt really ashamed and avoided it for years, thinking it meant I was gay. I watched lots of gay porn to check, but it did nothing at all to me. I watched lesbian and heterosexual porn too. Those very rarely did something to me.

That was until one day at the university someone passed pictures of a trans woman with penis as a prank and realized again, that, instead of feeling disgust like my classmates, I was intensely turned on, even though I pretended to feel disgust like they did.

During my master’s degree I was in a long term relationship with a cisgender woman. And I actually enjoyed everything about it (including sex). But unfortunately we didn’t have the same vision of future and we parted different ways.

At that time I felt very low and sort of rediscovered porn. I realized that again, what I discovered happened to me during my adolescence still was happening. But I didn’t accept it. I felt it was related to a trauma I had to overcome or something similar, so I avoided the entire thing and suppressed my thoughts.

I have to admit that each time during my past year when I realized about it I would for a short period of time accept it as a possibility and even searched info on how transgender women lived lives, how transition felt for them, both emotionally and physically. I also read about challenges they face in everyday life and I empathized but I was scared about the idea of having that in my life.

At some point I accepted I maybe enjoyed porn featuring transgender women with penises. And let myself have sexual thoughts and reactions without doing anything about it. I didn’t feel I wanted to act on it but I felt I preferred to allow my body to feel instead of suppress.

I had one encounter with an escort. I didn’t feel much during it. So I left it at that.
After a long streak of unssuccessful dates for over 3 years with cis women in dating apps (with whom I didn’t connect). I stopped dating for a while. I went full monk mode. I spent half a year without doing anything sexual even alone. And for some reason I reconnected with a cisgender woman I met who I like and have been getting to know although I haven kissed her yet.

After some days of not meeting with that woman and lots of stress from work, one day someone sent me a prank with a picture of a transgender woman with a penis. I immediately felt intensely turned on. I felt ashamed and deleted it. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. And started thinking about my adolescence reaction and all my past reactions to it. What if I had been supressing a natural attraction I had. How could I know? There was no way.

I don’t see transgender women in my everyday so I don’t have that experience. And if I see them I can’t tell them a part from cisgender women. I was very aroused and I wanted to meet with transgender woman but the idea of hurting their feelings if I was not into trans women, stopped me from opening a dating account. Also I didn’t feel ready for it.

At some point I decided I would go to an escorts service. I wanted to know my real sexual orientation. I did lots of research and found in my country it is legal for someone to create a company that gathers people who voluntarily want to do sex work. I found one that was in the register managed by women and checked if they had the licenses in order. Since they did, I thought I would give it a try one day.

But knowing I could explore my sexuality, legally and with a consenting person, I just couldn’t wait anymore and felt I had the obligation to myself and future partners to experiment now that I am still single instead of discovering it later on when I am married with someone with all the consequences it could have.

I went there and felt very anxious and uncomfortable while I was waiting. A trans woman who had different feminization surgeries entered the room, her face still looked a bit masculine, I didn’t quite feel comfortable with it, since I feel attracted to femininity, and that made me feel guilty and superficial. Once we were at it, by just touching her skin and cuddling I immediately ended, because of how intense was my reaction to her. I felt extremely embarrassed. It was totally unexpected. She calmed me and we had a normal conversation and then continued which I very much enjoyed as I liked her feminine body and behavior, even though she was not completely my ideal of femininity.

I went home and woke up thinking that I did very homosexual things with that transgender woman and the worse part was that my body enjoyed it a lot. I felt bad about it and worried. One thing that made me feel bad was that she said “you gay men enjoy us, trans women with penis”, and also that she said to another one while I was leaving “he is a fagot”.

But what doesn’t fit this narrative of me being gay is that I don’t feel the same way about men. I don’t want to touch a man’s body, I feel no interest in it, neither in porn nor in real life, the idea disgusts me. On the contrary I have fallen in love with cisgender women and had sex and enjoyed it, even though I don’t feel much interest in porn where they appear. But for trans women, I don’t know, it’s really strong my reaction to them.

I feel like I cheated on the cisgender woman I am getting to know although I am not in a relationship with her. I feel bad about that. I have a date with her in some days and I have been enjoying her company and what I feel when I am with her. But maybe it’s because I am looking at things from an exclusive lense. I don’t have to give up on cisgender women if I am attracted to trans women, and the other way around. Maybe it’s something compatible. I guess I will try to find a way to merge both into the same identity.

What’s your experience in that? Is that possible? Can a man be both attracted to cis and trans women? (Ones more emotionally strong although sexually also, and the others more sexually strong, I don’t know about emotional since I lack that experience).

How can I keep exploring safely without hurting other people’s feelings in the process? How can I meet trans women out of escort’s world? I want to have normal experiences like meeting someone that has a job like mine or similar, and that can keep intellectual conversations at my same level.

How can one deal with the guilt? and insults from others? and what’s the sexual orientation of someone that is attracted to women regardless of their genitalia?

I am scared of being physically assaulted if I meet a trans woman and this keeps me very much away from it. Not to mention I know some people I know think it’s a faggot thing and that “they are mentally ill” and men “period”. So I don’t feel comfortable about opening up about it or risking being seen with a trans woman. I still don’t feel ready for that. Maybe in the future, who knows.

Foreign & Fearful

Hello Foreign & Fearful!

Welcome to your life. You stand at a wonderful crossroads. It is the same crossroads many men come to. It is an opportunity to grow, to become who you are authentically. When you do this, your happiness will grow too.

Your strong feeling you call “ashamed” is normal. The reason you feel shame is you think your attraction is wrong, maybe even perverted. Where did these thoughts come from? Have you thought about this?

Here is a hint: You did not think this way when you were born.

Your happiness depends on accepting ALL of who you are, part of which is being attracted to transgender women. Your resistance exists because you have false beliefs which contradict your authentic self. Your opportunity is this: become more of who you are. Give up beliefs that are contrary to who you are. The more you do this, the happier you will be. Period.

Some escorts do what they do because they believe that’s all they can do, or they enjoy what they do to some degree. You are not responsible for contributing to anything other than your own life and experiences you have. People you interact with are there cooperatively, they help you create experiences so you can see who you are authentically, then embrace more of who you are. Your shame, as I wrote above, tells you you are not embracing who you are. So your shame is a very good thing!

Where do your values come from? Do you know? It’s a question worth asking.

There are no accidents. As a teenager you encountered women with penises because you wanted to. You wanted to because you knew such experience would increase your happiness and help you embrace all of who you are. You knew if you embraced this part of you and lived it authentically, you’d have a happy life.

But values you learned over time, caused you to shy away in fear. That’s why you avoided it for many years. You think being attracted to women with penises means you’re gay. But later, in your email, you recognize they are NOT the same thing. GAY MEN ARE NOT SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO WOMEN!

Attraction to cisgender women is compatible with attraction to transgender women. Why is that? Because transgender women, even transgender women with penises are women. THEY ARE NOT FEMALE. But who cares about that??? It is irrelevant.

So there is no conflict in cisgender attraction and trans-attraction. The problem – for trans-attracted men – is women with penises. Because what’s possible with that kind of woman, for the trans-attracted man, makes them special. There are many more positive characteristics trans women have over ciswomen, most of which have nothing to do their penis.

Transgender women bring interesting extra experiences because of their journey. Those experiences make some of them extremely strong, resilient, confident, and people who don’t take any bullshit. These are very positive traits in a woman.

It is good that you examined your trans-attraction as you did. Good for you too that you softened your resistance to your sexual attraction so you can enjoy your thoughts and reactions. That’s progress, right?!!!!

About your encounter with the escort: It’s possible your fears and apprehensions overwhelmed your latent enjoyment. That happens a lot when men have their first encounter. Don’t make too much about that.

Accidents are not accidents: There is more going on in life than people acknowledge. These “pranks” are not accidents, nor are they coincidence. They are YOU showing yourself where your genuine, authentic, NATURAL attraction exists. It is you saying to you: “accept who you are and stop judging it as bad. If you must judge it, judge it as good. BECAUSE IT IS!”

You must understand that your intense positive feelings are telling you what you’re doing is VERY GOOD.

And this strong negative feeling…and subsequent action…tells you that your stories about this VERY GOOD THING are inconsistent with your natural, wholesome desires. You know what you want, you know you’ll find joy in it. But your stories born or bogus “values” are keeping you from having it.

Every human being has a number of stories going on at any one time. They simultaneously create their ongoing reality. Take the transgender escort, for example. It is 100 percent certain her stories include “the only men interested in a transgender woman with a penis are faggots” (this is bogus).

She also has stories which create low self worth, insecurity and fear (about meeting someone who will accept her). It also is highly likely she doesn’t like her penis, wants to get rid of it, and is ashamed at having one. This is obvious for several reasons I will not go into in this response.

But you and her are a perfect match because she feels many of the same ways about herself that you feel about yourself, and you feel about her….and vice versa. So you two were a perfect match. Of course you two would meet each other!

You can’t hold on to values contrary to your happiness and be happy.

Any man will find an attractive woman attractive. Including transgender women. The only reason men feel revulsion is when they discover (or know in advance) that that woman either has a penis or once had a penis. They get turned off only because, for them penis = gay.

Should you seek trans women outside the escort world? At this point, I don’t recommend it. Not yet. Before you go outside the escort world, you first have to develop more comfort with who you are and what you like. Otherwise you will meet terrible transgender women.

Keep exploring with escorts. While you do that, seriously consider changing your values. Consider your stories and change them. You must come to the point where you are happy being you. If you don’t do that first, any action you take will connect you with trans women who are exactly like you: insecure, shamed of who they are, angry at men like you (chasers), and therefore your experiences will only inflame your insecurity and shame.

Does this make sense?

Insults from others will disappear once you change your stories about many things you have stories about. Many of those men who ridicule other men who have desires like yours have the same desires. They cover their shame by shaming others.

Your guilt and shame will disappear too when you change your stories.

As for labels, don’t worry about labels. Your question “what’s the sexual orientation of someone that is attracted to women regardless of their genitalia?” Is 100 percent irrelevant.

People use labels to categorize then judge. What are you wanting a label for it? Just know what you like is good and pursuing what you like will create the best life for you. Once you do something about your stories.

Last words: You are on a path. You are discovering an important part of who you are. This path is extremely good for you and for others. This path leads to more happiness for you (and others). Take your time, go slow. Read material on our website and watch our videos. There is a lot of free information that will help you understand who you are, what you’re going through and how to move forward. You are not alone. Many many men are having similar experiences.

Thanks for writing and enjoy your trans-attraction!

TTN

July 6, 2021July 6, 2021

Misgendered: A Great Opportunity For Love Not Hate

The easiest way to get someone to stop misgendering you involves loving that person when they do it. Especially when parents misgender you. Here’s why we advocate this approach at The Transamorous Network.

Parents stick to misgendering their trans kids because they think they’re right. Nearly all people think they’re right about what they think they know. Another reason they do it involves pain. They don’t want to be wrong. Being wrong feels painful.

Parents think they know more than their children do. They’re wrong, but remember, they think they’re right and being wrong feels painful. Besides, they don’t want to believe the person they love is not the person they thought the person was.

Changing in front of children is hard

Acknowledging your identity also confronts their social standing and that’s hard for old people. No one likes losing face and old people really don’t. Your parents not only must confront their own judgements, they must also face their peers’ judgments too.

That’s tough. Misgendering you let’s them live in la la land. There they’re right and they save face. That’s a lot keeping your mom and dad misgendering you.

Parents also find socially embarrassing and humiliating being judged when in public. They care a LOT about what other people think about them. For some, their whole identity depends on what others think about them. For others, their entire career depends on it.

So parents face tremendous pressure when a child declares themselves trans.

We’re not making excuses for your parents. We’re showing you how to get what you want from them: You want them to use proper pronouns and call you by the name matching who you are.

Parents, especially older ones think they know everything. Your trans status usually confronts everything they think they know. So you must be the adult. Because they can’t. They’re too triggered. (Photo by CDC on Unsplash)

But it’s all about them…not you

Notice what happens when you resist when they misgender you: They double down, refuse your wishes, disown you or you them. Why? Because they’re defending themselves, their stories and their world view. For a while, these things are more important than a relationship with you.

All that means NOTHING about you. It’s all about them. Notice too the more you push against their world view, the more they resist you. In our vernacular, here is what happens when you resist what they do.

First, you reinforce many stories you have about your parents, which sets up future repeat experiences of what you’re resisting. You know this when you feel negative when they do what you don’t like.

Second, your parents resist your resistance, which creates in their world repeat experiences too. So you both cooperate in creating new experiences just like existing ones. Experiences neither you nor them enjoys.

This is why your parents misgendering you won’t stop until you stop resisting what they do. Of course, they could stop resisting who you really are. But, ironically, you’re the adult in this case. Not your parents. So you must make the first move.

A real example speaks volumes

A transgender client asked us why her parents kept misgendering her recently. I told her exactly what you’re reading. I said because she keeps resisting when they do it.

The most recent time happened in a social event. Her mom and step dad both called her by her dead name and used male pronouns. They did it in front of everyone. My client was embarrassed because she puts a lot of weight on what other people think about her.

The next day, a relative approached my client. “I can’t believe your parents did that in front of everybody!” this relative said. “It makes me so angry when they do that! They know you’re trans, why do they keep doing it?”

When my client told me what her relative said and how angry he was, I told my client “You don’t want to be listening to this person. Hearing this person’s stories and making them your own will just create more situations between you and your parents where they will misgender you.”

“Instead,” I said. “You should love your parents. Look for everything they do to support you. Find things you like about them. Focus on those things. When they misgender you, pretend it didn’t happen!”

My client laughed at first. She didn’t understand how doing this would work.

When you push against what you don’t like you’re setting yourself up for more of what you don’t like. That creates a lot of cray-cray on all sides. Instead, find good things about where you are and watch where you are change. (Photo by Nsey Benajah on Unsplash)

Here’s why it works

It works because whatever you look at will get bigger in your life. Whatever you look at that you feel emotional about will get bigger, faster in your life. So when you keep looking at, and get angry about ANYONE who misgenders you, you’re essentially saying “Universe, give me more of this!”

I told my client this and she said she understood.

But when she came to the next session she said he did not follow my advice. Then she told me what happened.

She had a telephone conversation with her mom. While on the phone, her relative’s complaints about her mom popped up in her head. Then she heard my voice in her head telling her not to heed her relative’s stories. But she also felt the pull of that negative story about her mom.

So instead of looking for things love-worthy in her mom she followed impulses that came from her relative’s negative stories.

“Mom,” she said. “I hope you can hear me when I say this. It really hurts me when you don’t use the correct pronouns. It also hurts me when you call me by my old name. I wish you wouldn’t do that.”

Like a match to gasoline…

Exactly as I described above, her mom got defensive instead of listening to what my client said. She didn’t hear a word my client said. Here’s what she did hear:

You’re wrong
You’re bad
I know better than you
Do what I say!
Your values are wrong
Your beliefs are wrong

Is it any surprise what happened next? Her mom got defensive, then angry, then went into a rage. She attacked my client (remember this is a phone call). In response, my client lost her cool and attacked back.

My client’s mom had the phone on speaker and her husband (my client’s step father) also jumped in. Of course he defended his wife. That’s natural, right?

My client said she said things to her mom she regrets saying. She also said her mom said things she’s never said to my client before. The phone call happened three days ago. My client and her mom hadn’t talked since.

Your anger at those who misgender you acts as a match to gasoline. The fire just gets hotter…until you learn the better way. That learning needn’t be as hard as it is though. *(Photo by* Nsey Benajah on Unsplash)

Lesson learned the hard way

My client left the conversation extremely hurt. But it was all good because she realized through that very painful experience the accuracy of how this work works.

You just cannot get what you want when you focus on what you don’t want. Focusing on what you don’t want just gives you more of that.

So if you want someone to stop misgendering you, you can’t react negatively when they do it. Instead, you must find things to appreciate about the person. When someone misgenders you, you must talk yourself out of negative reactions. Then find positive things to say that cause you to feel good.

Until you do, until you learn to master your emotional responses to events, you just keep getting more practice. Practice which looks like people misgendering you!

It seems counterintuitive, doesn’t it? But try it. You’ll find in short order that those who refuse to accept who you are will change. Then you’ve mastered your happiness.

It will take longer for loved ones only because you’ve got persistent stories about them, about how they are, and you think you’re right about that. But even persistent beliefs can change.

And when your beliefs change, everything else does too.

June 22, 2021August 26, 2022

Cheating With T-Girls Now Puts You At Great Risk

If you’re married, trans-attracted, and sexing up transgender women on the side, you might be putting you and your marriage at great risk. That’s because while The Transamorous Network doesn’t ruin marriages, someone in the transgender community does.

Yours could be next. 😱

In the last six months, I got calls from two different people I normally don’t get calls from. The first call came from a distraught father in the midwest. He worried about his estranged son, who went dark over a year ago. Apparently, his son moved to Oregon (where I live), got in trouble with the law and wasn’t in a good place.

I asked the father how he heard about this and why, on earth, he called me…

The other call came from a wife here in the Northwest. She called twice back-to-back during a client session. After my client, I returned her call. She was raging angry. Apparently she discovered her husband cheated on her with transgender women for years.

This call felt more connected with Transamorous Network practice compared to the father conversation. Still, mild surprise had me ask her how she got my number…

Cheating trans-attracted men put on blast

Both the father and wife answered my question the same way. They each got a letter.

Each letter, addressed specifically to the father and wife, detailed the son and husband’s involvement with transgender women. The hand-written letters told, in first person details, about the son’s and husband’s trans-attraction activities. Only someone intimately involved with them would know details shared.

In the father’s case, the letter said something like “your son sleeps with trans women, you need to accept that so he’ll accept it too.” The letter addressed to the wife described the husband in unsavory terms and included details about his dalliances I’d prefer not describe.

Far more shocking though was what both letters shared. Both concluded with references to The Transamorous Network and my telephone number. No return address. Both recipients thought we sent the letter.

We did not.

A Transgender caped crusader or vigilante?

What’s going on here? A transgender woman, or group maybe, outs men to their families and spouses after sharing beds with them. The men seem oblivious, the partners and families feel shocked and saddened. Marriages start unraveling, angers soar (mostly among wives).

I don’t blame the wives. Were I in their shoes, I’d be pissed too!

If you’ve read our blog comments section, you know more wives show up nowadays expressing rage, frustration and judgement about everything about their husbands’ cheating. The good news: these marriages weren’t going to last anyway. The men clearly are trans-attracted. And while a few men can remain cis-married and trans-attracted, most must reconcile their attraction and marital status.

Still, I must ask: Who has it out for these men? Did a group of transgender women start collaborating to out these DL men? Or has one transgender woman resolved to teach them a lesson by destroying their families?

Maybe she or they have had it with DL men. Perhaps they think blowing up marriages creates a big enough shock to get men to own their natural attraction in the open. It’s not an approach I endorse.

And why include The Transamorous Network in all this? For sure, both married men and wives can benefit from what we do. In fact, I’ve already supported one woman (not the one who called recently) seeking advice on next steps with her trans-attracted husband and marriage.

What’s my role in all this?

Both incidences involved men in the Northwest. So it’s likely the trans-vigilantes, fed up with men on the DL and determined to punish these men, operate in the Northwest. Or, they might be nationwide.

Who knows?

One thing’s for sure: Neither me nor The Transamorous Network knows who these transgender women are. We also didn’t give them permission to use our contact information. But we must say two things about this: one, it’s good for business, as the angry wives call us looking for answers. We can help in that regard.

So it was smart referring these people to us.

Second, At least these vigilantes are giving the couple a resource that could dramatically change everyone’s life for the better. Including the vigilantes.

So men – you’ve been warned. Beware. Before you put your pee pee in that hole think about that ring on your finger. Looks like now, if you’re cheating on your cisgender wife, the risks of you getting outed just went up.

May 25, 2021May 2, 2021

Happy Stories Make Wonderful Cis-Trans Relationships

I love it when my clients send messages between sessions showing they’re putting what they learn from The Transamorous Network to practice. It’s even more fun seeing them getting awesome results.

I think any transgender woman would love loving a guy like my client DW. Recently DW met a trans girl who is a perfect match to what he’s asked for. She’s happy, smart, well spoken, hot (to him), fun, playful, and likes that he’s been totally transparent about what he wants.

Of course, that transparency comes from learning to tell positive stories, seeing results from doing that and therefore gaining confidence in being transamorous. Telling such stories, DW knows, made him a perfect match for Kim (not her real name). That’s why DW and Kim spent hours together via text, then on the phone, then on video every day early on.

“We can’t call each other spontaneously,” DW said. “Because we know we’ll spend hours together. We have to schedule our calls instead.”

Cute.

Transamory means owning one’s stories

After excitedly talking about Kim one session, DW sent a wonderful text message. The message showed not only how consciously and deliberately DW is implementing what he learned in his sessions, it shows how great the work works!

Clients learn, in session, how stories create reality. When they see evidence proving this statement true, clients, knowing what they learned, get excited. Seeing the work work is intoxicating. Especially when it comes to catching one’s old stories, doing something productive about them and seeing positive results.

Such acts also create empowerment, enthusiasm and joy where there might have been insecurity, shame, fear or frustration. DW’s text perfectly shows this in action. Check it out:

Joe catches his negative story (about himself) in action, then diffuses it like a boss!

It’s never about what it’s about

Bad behavior seems to happen in reaction to what someone observes. It might be something someone says or does, how they look, or maybe even something they don’t do that triggers bad behavior.

“Bad behavior” doesn’t have to be physical action. It can be subtle. Like DW here feeling himself pull away. You can bet at spiritual levels Kim felt that too, although she probably didn’t consciously register it.

But whenever someone “reacts” they’re not reacting to what’s happening. They’re reacting to their story about what’s happening. That’s why most people think their lives consist of random event patterns, some good, some bad, with a preponderance of one or the other. They think their life (their creation) is out of their control. So when they react they think they’re reacting to something out of their control.

When a person learns they’re creating their reality, they learn they control what happens to them. They learn to catch the “creation” early – like DW is doing above. Doing that, they realize they have far more control over their life than they thought. Including their dating life.

People literally can create any reality they want. Unless they think that’s impossible. But, “that’s impossible” is a story. A story creating realities matching it.

See how it works?

You get what you tell stories about

That’s why I say to everyone stories matter. What one thinks about is what they get whether wanted or not.

Understand this, do something about it and watch life how how well it works.

Seeing that, life gets fun. A person can’t help becoming happy. Like DW here. The more that happens, the more life will bring more things matching that happiness.

Each life is each person’s oyster. The question is what are individuals doing with their lives? For my clients, they’re creating their best lives. You can too.

May 18, 2021April 16, 2021

Love What You Have, Get What You Want

Dear The Transamorous Network

Hi, very happy to have found you and all your blogs.

I have been trans attracted for as long as I can remember back into my early teens. I can remember the first time I saw a picture in a magazine revealling a very attractive trans woman before the internet existed so I am thinking for me it is baked in.

My thought on the subject of “tranny chaser” is that it is no different than any other baked in desire for me personally. I work with guys who will drop everything including their jaw when a large butt wanders by, I have a friend who requires nothing more than a large pair of breasts and a pulse. I like legs.

A trans woman with great legs is a huge plus and they are quite common. I am married and have been for decades, pretty happy, she has great legs and large breasts. The breasts are nice but down on the list for me behind a great personality and loyalty, honesty etc. The fact that the trans women I have met and dated in the past had a penis was definitely a plus but a penis is quite common and I have one that I enjoy, so it has to be more than that for me.

Looks are always going to be the first selling point but having dated great looking women and trans women in the past that had unattractive personalities I can state that for me there needs to be more. I discovered that with the right trans woman a true and honest date and meaningful conversation can really bring out the best in a jaded person.

Getting to second base has always been after the personality shows up and it is one I can enjoy. I have noticed that even though the trans women I have known well have all had regular everyday office jobs or as a nurse in one instance and that they have a lot to offer in the work place and in a relationship.

To be trans is a decision that is not an option, it is also baked in and the problems and speed bumps that are attached to the lifestyle make for a solutions oriented, problem solving, person that has to battle adversity, usually alone.

I am thankful to have had the opportunity to have met some very cool trans women and cis women. Luckily for me because personality is high on my requirements, age, height, background, race, wealth, blonde, brunette matter very little.

Everything is negotiable in my head. I have some things I find unattractive, smoking, lazyness, lack of independence, but not deal breakers I have discovered. So having said all that, am I still a “tranny chaser”?

I would think, no. I think I like women and a woman with a penis is not a problem. I very much like to find what makes a womens engine rev hard and knowing what makes a penis and a prostate work can very much work in my favor.

Cis women seem to be a bit reserved sexually in my experience, not so much with trans women who know what they want.

Turns out males have no attraction for me, not even slightly as I can attest to having been subjected to gay sex on TV lately. Not a flicker of anything. I like women, lucky for me. Looks like a duck, quacks like a duck for me it is a duck. Thank you for being there for us trans amourous guys.

Kyle

Hey Kyle,

Well that was a fun read!

We’re happy you found us too. What a fun perspective you have, open, thoughtful, considered. It’s so fun seeing men like yourself writing us and, in doing so affirming (both for transgender women and trans-attracted people) the validity of being trans-attracted, having genital preferences, body preferences, boob preferences, leg preferences, women, men, tall, short…preferences. Preferences aren’t just good, they’re great!

The only reason a trans woman labels a man a “chaser” is from their own frustration, bitterness and self-loathing combined with not getting what they want. The problem is the woman throwing that word around doesn’t know she’s setting herself up to be bitter and alone…or faced with compromising what she really wants for something less than that. Meanwhile “chasers” are getting what they want!

Everyone can get what they want. The world is big enough, the trans community is big enough. The question is: is any given individual’s stories big enough to include what they want?

For most, it’s obvious, isn’t it?

We encourage people tell stories only about what they want, then watch what happens. We like your comment because it’s a direct response to what we want: more men loving themselves.

Well done!