Transgender - The Transamorous Network

March 19, 2019March 19, 2019

Transgender People: They’re Everywhere

Transgender people are everywhere. Even in some of the smallest towns, the most conservative towns, you’ll find transgender people. No matter where you live, transgender or trans attracted, if you’re wanting to find love, it’s out there.

Yet, many such places have few services through which transgender and trans attracted people can get help navigating their identities. Sometimes, such towns can be hostile. So trans and trans attracted people may be under the radar. It might look like they’re not around. But they are.

Think You’re Alone? Think Again.

Centralia, Washington is just such town. Located thirty minutes south of Olympia Washington, Centralia is known for its unusual history being the only town in the United States founded by a black man and son to former slaves. Incredibly, his name? George Washington. True story.

Centralia is also known for its conservatism. Like many rural American communities, it leans republican. Centralia sits in “the most conservative county in Washington” according to Zoe Oliver, a Centralia resident and LGBTQIA activist.

But Centralia is quickly gaining a name for itself as a booming LGBTQIA center in its County, thanks to a handful of organizations and individuals like Oliver.

One such organization is Centralia College. Very open and accepting of people of all kinds, Centralia College is home to the Gender and Sexuality Alliance (GSA). GSA is the longest running LGBTQIA organization in Lewis County. It advocates for broader awareness and acceptance of equality and LGBTQIA education, among other things.

Oliver attends school at the college. She also is vice president of GSA. In January, Oliver, representing the College’s Student Activities Team (SAT) asked us to have a table at their Sexual Health And Awareness Fair held in March. The ask is the first time The Transamorous Network has been invited to attend a live event.

At first we thought to decline Oliver’s invite. It isn’t typically what we do. Knowing what we know about how life works, however, we speculated SAT’s invite represented more opportunity than downside.

We were right.

A Growing LGBTQ Community Likes Our Message

Several organizations, Pierce County AIDS Foundation (PCAF), Mpowerment, Washington, Planned Parenthood and others also staffed tables. While organizers acknowledged student attendance was lower than expected, we met important allies in our work.

Of the people who did attend, we met early-stage transitioning women and men, parents of transgender children, educators who advocate for LGBTQ equality, and allies.

Our booth front blog — Remy sitting at our set up booth. This was the first time we’ve been invited to a public event. (Transamorous Network photo)

Everyone hearing our message that “your stories create your reality” had the same response. “It makes sense” they said. Your stories create your reality, including your behaviors, relationships (or lack thereof), your entire life. They even decide who you meet, when you meet them and how.

Your stories also shape your relationship with sexual health, how you choose sexual partners, who you choose, and how you practice sex.

display booth blog — Our wares we offered during the event. We raffled off two copies of our guides in addition to talking with people about their stories. We were not surprised how many people agreed with our knowing that stories create your reality. (Transamorous Network photo)

We like to say sexual health is more than a condom or dental dam. It starts in the head (with your stories), not between your legs.

That’s the message we brought to the event. It was a unique message well received.

Our Message Is Getting Larger Audiences

We’re excited about what the future holds having made acquaintances in Centralia. We’re not spilling the beans, but it sounds like interesting opportunities may spring from within not only that community, but from others nearby.

Who knows? Maybe we’ll be invited to more such events. We’re always open to following leads our intuition sends us.

At our table blog — Us talking with students and faculty at the Centralia College Sexual Health Education Fair. We met a number of organizations we may work with in the future. (Transamorous Network Photo)

Another thing I got from being there was confirmation of what I already knew: transgender people are everywhere.

Even in the most conservative small towns, you’ll find transgender people looking for love, belonging and needing resources to navigate their lives.

And you can bet if there are transgender people, there are people who love transgender people living there too. So no matter where you live, opportunities for love for trans attracted people are available.

Want to find them? You’re going to have a hard time doing so if you believe they aren’t there. Learn to tell the right stories though and you’ll meet them as easily as putting one foot in front of the other.

Check out this short film we made about our participation at the fair. If you’re new to our material, we overview our approach in this radio interview.

August 29, 2018

Life Gives You What You Are

Life is Faithful blog

Hate and you will experience hatred. Hate enough and you will be hated. Whether you’re trans, non-trans, or any combination. It works the same for everyone. Just because you’re trans, or even trans-attracted and vilified or discriminated against, doesn’t entitle you to hate in return. Hating harms you more than it does those hated.

Discriminate and you will experience discrimination. Discriminate enough and you will be discriminated against. What comes first, the discrimination? Or the stories of unworthiness that match you with those who discriminate? Does your being discriminated against merit you discriminating against others? Not seeing yourself as inclusive does more harm to you than those you try to exclude.

Attack and you will have to defend. Attack enough and you will be attacked back, banned and shunned. The world tells you that you have to defend if you are attack, and, optimally, you should attack back if you’re attacked. But that only increases experiences in which an attack or a defense is necessary. Have you noticed?

Be angry and you will experience anger. Be angry frequently enough and you will not know peace. It’s easy to react angrily, especially if you aren’t clear about what your stories are. Knee-jerk angry reactions are always saying more about the angry person than the person one supposedly is mad at.

There is freedom in loving, and peace in being happy. When you are happy, loving and inclusive, you discover a world that reflects all that back to you. Everything you are wanting exists in the world where you are constantly happy. Freedom from hate, discrimination, attacking, anger and more. All that’s required is that you commit to being happy, then practice that.

It’s not to hard to figure. Unless you’re wrapped up in stories which make the figuring, at least for now, impossible. Eventually, though, you’re going to get it. And when you do your life will give you everything you’re trying to have by hating, discriminating, attacking and being angry.

Life gives you what you are. It makes sense then, to simply be happy.

August 28, 2018August 28, 2018

Alex Jones: Trangender Porn Connoisseur?

Info wars press kit AJ Transattracted FB blog — Photo: Info wars press kit

It’s no surprise to us that Alex Jones, infamous hate monger and social media exile, also appears to be trans-attracted.

According to this first and original report the transphobe, alt-right, conspiracy purveyor, was caught red-handed, when he, himself inadvertently revealed in his browsing history, a transgender porn site. Today, four days later, more sites are beginning to announce the story, including The Independent.

Screen Shot 2018-08-27 at 10.47.17 AM

Sharp viewers caught the slip and now…we’ll we know what happens next.

The reason we’re not surprised by this is because often, the most virulently opposed people are often projecting their own self-loathing onto that which they are. The fact that Jones has, on many occasions, derided transgender people indicated to us long ago that he was likely trans-attracted.

History is replete with people like this. People who are against gay people, and yet are gay themselves has been a recurring theme among conservatives. It’s not any different with early-stage trans-attraction.

This should be an indicator to you, transgender community.

When you are railing against someone who hates you, there is likely something going on in that person that that person doesn’t have access to while you push back against their hate. Hating Alex Jones or any other closeted trans-attracted person, leaves no room for that person to own who they really are. Instead, it pushes them deeper into the closet and more stridently against you.

Often – probably more often than you realize – someone’s hatred of you is a cry for help: for understanding, for acceptance. It’s exactly the same for racists.

The transgender community can be the better side of the argument for transgender rights by releasing its own hatred and defensiveness for people like Alex Jones.

That’s what we’re doing at The Transamorous Network.

Sometimes the most powerful act is to turn the other cheek, meaning, let go of your unnatural inclination to hate back.

The result will surprise you. And make room for more people to confirm that loving you as a whole person –– whether you have a penis or a vagina –– is as natural as anything else.

August 17, 2018

Can Trans People Oppress The Majority?

Andrei Lazarev Opression FB blog — Photo: Andrei Lazarev

It can sure feel that way. But when the majority feels oppression, you’re winning.

Hear them:

“Seriously, what’s going on? Where are all these people coming from claiming there is something more than “man” and “woman”? Don’t they realize they sound delusional?”

So go the thoughts of those whose world view depends on immutable “Laws” about “reality”.

“Immutable” means “unchanging over time. Fixed, carved in stone, permanent or rigid”.

None of those words can be applied to life or being human. Both are forever changing and evolving for the better. Diversity is the norm. The more the better

And there’s no limit on what that diversity will look like.

People who need a “rigid” “unchanging” reality are deeply ensconced in fear and insecurity. They have lost the flexibility of their childhood, where reality was much less “hardened” than the adult world.

When something from outside that hardened world view meets that hardened-ness head on, the jarring feeling, the discomfort people who don’t understand being transgender feel, triggers reactions remarkably similar to those attributable to racist behaviors triggered from white fragility.

White fragility is defined in an excellent 2011 research paper written by Robin DiAngelo for the International Journal Of Critical Pedagogy, aptly titled “White Fragility”.

White Fragility is a state in which even a minimum amount of racial stress becomes intolerable, triggering a range of defensive moves. These moves include the outward display of emotions such as anger, fear, and guilt, and behaviors such as argumentation, silence, and leaving the stress-inducing situation. These behaviors, in turn, function to reinstate white racial equilibrium. Racial stress results from an interruption to what is racially familiar.

This would be a great definition for “Anti-Gender-fluidity Fragility”. Something I just made up 🙂

Replace “racial” with “gender”:

“Anti-Gender-fluidity Fragility is a state in which even a minimum amount of gender stress becomes intolerable, triggering a range of defensive moves. These moves include the outward display of emotions such as anger, fear, and guilt, and behaviors such as argumentation, silence, and leaving the stress-inducing situation. These behaviors, in turn, function to reinstate cis gender equilibrium. Gender stress results from an interruption to what is with regard to gender, familiar.”

Interesting, isn’t it?

We could even go so far as to say Anti-Gender-fluidity Fragility, in extreme cases, results in attempts to coerce and control: humiliating, threatening, being aggressive towards and even waging violence against those perceived to threatened a hardened world view, i.e. transgender people.

Isn’t that what we’re seeing today?

What this means is, there is nothing personal about a non-trans person becoming hostile or trying to censure transgender people’s rights. They’re just acting out of extreme insecurity as they are confronted with circumstances outside their comfortable world views or stories.

In other words, they are scared.

And when a person who is used to being in control feels scared long enough, they find ways to ameliorate that fear. In most people unaware of their stories, “control” means trying to manipulate things (situations, laws, who can use which bathroom) and people (kicking them out of the family, for example).

But it can also including appropriating the victim role even though they enjoy privilege of [gender] acceptance.

A lot of people have said it: “When you’re used to privilege, equality feels like oppression.”

The cool thing is, as history has always shown, actual oppression waged by the majority on a minority usually causes the cause of the minority to win.

Are you prepared to win? Don’t worry, when you do, they will too. But not in the way they think.

HT to this guy’s experience

August 10, 2018

A New [Beautiful] Face Joins The Transamorous Network

Yuri smiling watermark blog

So yesterday I had the pleasure of shooting Yuri Pichardo, a transgender woman who, is so photogenic, it’s hard not to wonder if she has a special way with camera lenses.

Yuri agreed to be regularly photographed as our brand’s model. We’ll be featuring Photos of her alongside a lot of our material.

Yuri smiling 2 watermark blog In addition to being quite beautiful, Yuri is whip smart, has a keen intuition and is equally resourceful. A native of Tacache de Mina, Oaxaca, Mexico, Yuri’s biggest dreams have been accomplished, she says.

But there’s still one more dream she’s highly anticipating: Her childhood dream of her Quinceañera. Her sweet fifteen birthday party.

No, she’s not fifteen, but it’s something she’s always wanted to have. In her culture the Quinceañera signifies a young woman’s maturation into adulthood. This weekend many of her friends will gather to celebrate this moment…some fifteen years late.

But who’s counting?

We’re just happy to have Yuri as part of our team. Welcome Yuri!

Yuri Yucking watermark blog