Transgender - The Transamorous Network

August 17, 2018

Can Trans People Oppress The Majority?

Andrei Lazarev Opression FB blog — Photo: Andrei Lazarev

It can sure feel that way. But when the majority feels oppression, you’re winning.

Hear them:

“Seriously, what’s going on? Where are all these people coming from claiming there is something more than “man” and “woman”? Don’t they realize they sound delusional?”

So go the thoughts of those whose world view depends on immutable “Laws” about “reality”.

“Immutable” means “unchanging over time. Fixed, carved in stone, permanent or rigid”.

None of those words can be applied to life or being human. Both are forever changing and evolving for the better. Diversity is the norm. The more the better

And there’s no limit on what that diversity will look like.

People who need a “rigid” “unchanging” reality are deeply ensconced in fear and insecurity. They have lost the flexibility of their childhood, where reality was much less “hardened” than the adult world.

When something from outside that hardened world view meets that hardened-ness head on, the jarring feeling, the discomfort people who don’t understand being transgender feel, triggers reactions remarkably similar to those attributable to racist behaviors triggered from white fragility.

White fragility is defined in an excellent 2011 research paper written by Robin DiAngelo for the International Journal Of Critical Pedagogy, aptly titled “White Fragility”.

White Fragility is a state in which even a minimum amount of racial stress becomes intolerable, triggering a range of defensive moves. These moves include the outward display of emotions such as anger, fear, and guilt, and behaviors such as argumentation, silence, and leaving the stress-inducing situation. These behaviors, in turn, function to reinstate white racial equilibrium. Racial stress results from an interruption to what is racially familiar.

This would be a great definition for “Anti-Gender-fluidity Fragility”. Something I just made up 🙂

Replace “racial” with “gender”:

“Anti-Gender-fluidity Fragility is a state in which even a minimum amount of gender stress becomes intolerable, triggering a range of defensive moves. These moves include the outward display of emotions such as anger, fear, and guilt, and behaviors such as argumentation, silence, and leaving the stress-inducing situation. These behaviors, in turn, function to reinstate cis gender equilibrium. Gender stress results from an interruption to what is with regard to gender, familiar.”

Interesting, isn’t it?

We could even go so far as to say Anti-Gender-fluidity Fragility, in extreme cases, results in attempts to coerce and control: humiliating, threatening, being aggressive towards and even waging violence against those perceived to threatened a hardened world view, i.e. transgender people.

Isn’t that what we’re seeing today?

What this means is, there is nothing personal about a non-trans person becoming hostile or trying to censure transgender people’s rights. They’re just acting out of extreme insecurity as they are confronted with circumstances outside their comfortable world views or stories.

In other words, they are scared.

And when a person who is used to being in control feels scared long enough, they find ways to ameliorate that fear. In most people unaware of their stories, “control” means trying to manipulate things (situations, laws, who can use which bathroom) and people (kicking them out of the family, for example).

But it can also including appropriating the victim role even though they enjoy privilege of [gender] acceptance.

A lot of people have said it: “When you’re used to privilege, equality feels like oppression.”

The cool thing is, as history has always shown, actual oppression waged by the majority on a minority usually causes the cause of the minority to win.

Are you prepared to win? Don’t worry, when you do, they will too. But not in the way they think.

HT to this guy’s experience

August 10, 2018

A New [Beautiful] Face Joins The Transamorous Network

Yuri smiling watermark blog

So yesterday I had the pleasure of shooting Yuri Pichardo, a transgender woman who, is so photogenic, it’s hard not to wonder if she has a special way with camera lenses.

Yuri agreed to be regularly photographed as our brand’s model. We’ll be featuring Photos of her alongside a lot of our material.

Yuri smiling 2 watermark blog In addition to being quite beautiful, Yuri is whip smart, has a keen intuition and is equally resourceful. A native of Tacache de Mina, Oaxaca, Mexico, Yuri’s biggest dreams have been accomplished, she says.

But there’s still one more dream she’s highly anticipating: Her childhood dream of her Quinceañera. Her sweet fifteen birthday party.

No, she’s not fifteen, but it’s something she’s always wanted to have. In her culture the Quinceañera signifies a young woman’s maturation into adulthood. This weekend many of her friends will gather to celebrate this moment…some fifteen years late.

But who’s counting?

We’re just happy to have Yuri as part of our team. Welcome Yuri!

Yuri Yucking watermark blog

July 13, 2018July 13, 2018

Hollywood trans snubbing…is it over?

Despite a lot of hubbub about transgender characters not being represented in film some are making it quite nicely in Hollywood thank you very much.

Now, before anyone sends hate mail our way, NOTE THAT WE ALWAYS focus on the positive here at The Transamorous Network because, we know, when you aren’t focusing on the positive YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM NOT THE SOLUTION.

Focusing on the problem seems like the way to go because it agitates and gives the activists something to do while the natural progression of “it’s always getting better” takes care of….making things better. We love a recent tweet we saw (today actually) that speaks volumes:

So when you’re fighting against some injustice, you’re just causing more of that injustice to happen. Just like if you push against someone, they dig in their heels.

So we are super-stoked to give massive props and congrats to Canadian Actress Cassandra James for her role playing a trans character in the iconic and legendary Soap Opera General Hospital. It’s a massive accomplishment and we are eager for her to represent the community is a positive way. We also are eager to see even more good trans actors and actresses get Hollywood roles in the future.

In the meantime, Cassandra is in good company. In our Facebook Live Show IN YOUR FACE, we noted Alexandra Billings playing the role of a judge in the Amazon series Goliath alongside Billy Bob Thornton. A convincing portrayal, we must add (way to go Alexandra. You nailed the role). What’s particularly of note here is Alexandra’s status as a transperson played no part in her character’s role. That’s nice, because we recently were talking about transgender people playing straight roles or at least roles where their transness is irrelevant. To see Alexandra playing a judge (a major part of the show) was refreshing.

Screen Shot 2018-07-13 at 11.14.59 AM.jpg — Alexandra Billings via Instagram

So, despite what people are compalining about, there is progress being made. There is always room to go, of course. There is forever room to grow. That’s what makes life the thrilling ride that it is.

But to claim that no progress is being made is only participating in the problem. Not acknowledging the progress evident. We know if everyone focused their energies on what’s going right – in every aspect of life – we wouldn’t have the polarized society we have in America, including the rancor we see between cis and trans, but we also know that variety/diversity is the spice of life. And that diversity includes diversity of life experience.

Way to go humanity!

June 26, 2018June 20, 2018

Transgender not a mental illness: WHO

WHO TRANSGENDER.jpg Sometimes, large organizations are among the slowest to wake up and smell the roses. But at least they do….eventually.Is th

The World Health Organization (WHO) recently announced it is revising its international manual of diagnoses in order to DECLASSIFY transgender as a mental illness.

Just in time for Pride.

A big deal?

Well..it is a big deal because according to IFL Science, which first broke the news, codes in the manual of diagnoses are used by countries to determine where to invest resources as well as how to set certain insurance billing standards. By declassifying being transgender as a mental illness, it now becomes an sexual health issue of, not a mental health one, which removes a lot of stigma from being trans and might offer more resources to the community.

At least at the international diplomatic level.

But hey, every bit of progress IS progress and should be celebrated.

WHO says enough evidence exists suggesting that being transgender is not a mental disorder and classifying it as such can cause “enormous stigma” for those who identify themselves as transgender.

Of course, we knew that.

Now, we also knew there always has been evidence confirming being trans (or trans attracted) is not a mental illness. It’s understandable though that WHO is making the “now there is enough evidence” argument: they have to reach all their constituency, which I’m sure includes people who still disbelieve.

It’s great to see the WHO joining the growing list of organizations coming to the right side of history. Here’s a video of a WHO representative speaking about the revision:

February 27, 2018January 23, 2018

How to have a happy life: trans or transattracted

wishful thinking Photo by Jeremy Yap on Unsplash — Photo by Jeremy Yap on Unsplash

A few transwomen (and, admittedly, a couple trans attracted men) read our material or check out our videos, then claim that we advocate the “silly” idea that if you just think happy thoughts, you’ll have a better life. Or if you meditate you’ll “get everything you want”.

We don’t say that.

Well, we do, but that’s a kind of shorthand describing a much more detailed process through which you already are, right now, creating the reality you’re experiencing. What we do advocate is a process which involves examining the stories you tell about your world, your “reality”. Then, after examining those stories, we advocate using a deliberate, conscious process that leads to new stories. These new stories are part of a larger process we describe more deeply in our material, a process that does actually get you everything you’re wanting: more money, that lover you want, that fulfilling and enjoyable work you wish you had, a safe place to live…whatever.

But we can’t go through the entire process in every one of our shows. That would be too repetitive and b-o-r-i-n-g.

Instead, we use a shorthand. That’s why we harp on “telling positive stories”.

Quote Photo by Tom Barrett on Unsplash — Photo by Tom Barrett on Unsplash

Here’s a summary of the process. Again, it’s not as simple as this, that’s why it’s called a summary. Following this process will, guaranteed, produce a life where you have everything you’re wanting. No exceptions.

Let’s say you’re wanting to become a doctor. You create your reality. So to create the reality in which you are a doctor, here are the steps we recommend (and stand behind as guaranteed to work):

You must realize you are creating the realty you experience. For many, this is the most difficult step.
You must realize the creative momentum you have created up to this point. This momentum is creatively expressed as the life you currently have, warts and all. That creative momentum is strong and going against it, while possible, is going to take a while, just as it took a while to get where you’re at. So….
You must then start changing the stories (beliefs) you have about the reality you currently have. The primary story needing changing is that you think the world just “happens to you” out of some random, uncontrollable set of criteria such as your race, location, politics etc (see step one). Another primary story might be that you think things can not ever change. That story sounds like this: “Life sucks”, “Men are always…”, “Transwomen are always treated…” “Transwomen are all….”…
You must understand the nature of “momentum” (what it is and how it works) and begin creating momentum in the direction of where you’re wanting to go ( in our example, becoming a doctor).
Then you must begin telling stories about why you want to become a doctor, stories that create certain emotional responses within you. This emotional response is your first indicator that you have begun changing your reality. Meditation is certainly part of the process because, for most people, the mind is unruly and seemingly random in its thinking. It must be reined in to serve the deliberate creative process instead of creating willy-nilly or seemingly randomly.
Point five is a major milestone, known as the “Be” of the “Be, Do, Have” process resulting in becoming a doctor.
You must then continue telling such stories and having these certain emotional responses while training yourself to become sensitive to your inner being’s guidance through quieting your mental activity (meditation). As you become more sensitive, you will begin noticing you are receiving impulses to think certain thoughts and take certain actions. One, thought, for example might be “what is required to become a doctor?” You might then be inspired to go to the library or get on the internet and start researching. This is the “do” part of the process. You are being guided by your inner being to have thoughts (stories) and actions (manifested reality) that accord with “doing” what doctors do.
Over time, supposing you are consistent in the seven steps above, you MUST wind up in the “have” part of the “Be, Do, Have” process where you have, in actuality, your actual, real life, become a doctor.

That’s it. There is nothing magical to the process. It is not about daydreaming or telling yourself untrue stories. There’s a lot more to it than these eight steps because one must get clear on an accurate nature of “reality” and where it comes from for this process to really work, but that’s essentially it.

And it works.

Every time.

It is even working for you right now, although in a probably indirect, in-deliberate way. For many people, that’s why they have a life that is less than fulfilling. It’s not because of fate, or the circumstances, being born in the wrong place or even being trans or transattracted. It’s simply because people aren’t deliberately creating the life they can have. So they get the one they got.

That’s why we say everyone can have the life they want. It begins with telling positive stories. When are you going to get started?