As I write this post, I’m thinking back to my past and my own journey on the “Chaser-to-Transamorous” path. It’s been quite a few years. I’ve written nearly 500 posts about trans-attraction and transamory. I’ve shared my journey of self-discovery and acceptance while offering advice, initially for trans-attracted men. But I gradually shifted that focus to trans women.
As I wrote in a recent post, many trans women and trans-attracted men expressed appreciation for what I’ve shared here over the years. As my own self-discovery included a path into deeper, esoteric spirituality, that knowledge found its way into The Transamorous Network content too. This included this blog, our podcast, our YouTube Channel and more. It’s been fun sharing my journey, offering advice to others and receiving positive support from readers.
Of course, I’ve also received messages from haters, mostly bigoted trans women suffering from self loathing, who projected their hate onto me. I appreciate those people too because those people had me focus even more on supporting the community with the material I offered. I knew those women’s comments had much more to say about them than they did my writing, my content or me as a person. And I knew what I offered could actually help them.
Fifteen years…at least
Speaking of me as a person, discovering my transamory alongside my spiritual origins has been an incredible journey. I remember when I first saw a trans woman. It was in the early 80s in Osaka, Japan. My girlfriend at the time thought it would be entertaining to take me to a Yakuza bar where all the “go-go” dancers were trans. Little did she know, or maybe she did know from a spiritual perspective, that introduction sparked a flame in me.
That flame grew into an adventure that, at first, I struggled valiantly to repress. I was in the Marines after all, before the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell mandate. Being queer was a dischargeable offense. Still, my transamory wouldn’t be denied.
It took more than 15 years, I think, to embrace my queerness and my attraction to trans women. During that time I struggled, but always knew myself as the individual I am today. I knew I would make it through someday. And after making it, I decided to start The Transamorous Network to help others make it. Helping others has been rewarding.
And yet all adventures either come to an end, or they change.
Getting to know myself
My adventure taking the form of The Transamorous Network is about to come to an end. This is the last post. I’ll be focusing on my cisgender audiences going forward. Cisgender people comprise the majority of my clients these days. My experience with them shows them more open to moving along the spiritual path I offer. It feels wonderful seeing them resonate with results they produce through my guidance. So focusing on them is where I want to commit my energies. Doing so feels good and nothing matters more than feeling good.
As I close this chapter of my adventure, I’m reflecting on my own journey, one that began, like many men, with the thought that I was gay. Being on the DL all that time didn’t stop me from exploring. That exploration included having encounters with men. I wanted to find out if I was gay, or was there something else going on with me. At that time “trans-attracted” wasn’t a thing. At least I wasn’t aware of such a term.
So while I still dated cis women, I also explored with men and with trans women when the opportunity presented itself. These days, I’ve had enough experience with pretty much every gender to know what I like, what I’m attracted to and why. I approached this with the same zeal I approached getting to know my spiritual nature. That’s why I know myself as transamorous. Not a chaser. Not a fetishizer.
All things change…
What I find interesting as this chapter closes is my sexual practices have changed. To understand how, I want to tell a story of something that happened while I was still exploring.
Decades ago, I had a long-term affair with a guy named Bill. It lasted almost 20 years. He wasn’t at all good looking, but he had a giant dick I loved to suck and get fucked by. We were really good friends and that’s what the relationship emerged from: our friendship. He was a top and not interested at all in being a bottom. Not that I was encouraging that, I really loved his dick (and came to love him over time, romantically, interestingly enough).
Bill was a sex fiend and couldn’t get enough. I knew this about him and just assumed he was careful. I was shocked one evening though when he told me he had contracted HIV… Years later we reconnected after a rather messy end to our relationship triggered by my fear he put me at risk (I’m HIV-). During this reconnection, Bill shared, to my shock and awe, that he was now a bottom!
I’m sharing this because, recently, I’ve been contemplating my anal play and whether it really offers the sensual stimulation I enjoy so much, or is it instead more of a psychological thing….I’m coming to the point that it is way more the latter than the former. Especially after meeting Yuri and enjoying performing the traditional male role with her.
Post-transamorous and the next adventure
So I’m really close at the moment to declaring myself, no longer interested in being strictly a “bottom”. I find this interesting because I never thought that aspect of me would change. Even though I saw it happen with someone I knew very well.
I feel resolute about this change, in the same way Bill felt about his. It’s interesting contemplating how my life seems to be coming full circle. At least as far as my sexuality is concerned.
And perhaps this is the case with many men who find themselves attracted to trans women. Perhaps, at the end of the day, what we trans-attracted men are looking for is self understanding. And we discover that, as many people do: through the mirror inherent in all relationships.
I’ve had many relationships and have used them to chart my own journey to self-discovery, as, I’m sure, my partners did too. Along the way I’ve met some stellar people, both trans-attracted and transgender. This has been a great journey.
And the journey continues. But it no longer will focus on my wanting to convince the trans community that they are empowered, powerful, creative beings creating their reality as they move through life, and thus can enjoy a life where all they want is theirs. They are that, as is everyone else. Yet, it’s time for me to take the next step in my journey. That requires no longer trying to convince people who are not ready to hear this uplifting message.
So with that, I bid the trans community adieu. The next chapter of my adventure awaits. A chapter where I move beyond identifying as transamorous. I just am.
PS –
If you’re still interested in hearing from me, subscribe to my other blog Positively Focused, on WordPress, Medium, Tumblr and my Facebook Page by the same name. Across all these platforms, Positively Focus enjoys more that 15,000 followers.
The Transamorous Network will likely cease to exist within the next few months.
PPS –
One of the first transgender clients I served, has followed this blog pretty much from the beginning. Her response to this post is the perfect capstone. It’s an example, I know, of how many trans women have benefited from my writings. And so, I leave with her well-wishes:
I publish these posts weeks after I write them. That way, I don’t feel pressure to write something if I don’t want to. Invariably, however, the urge strikes. And so I find myself at my writing table.
Not being a hypocrite, I’m going to lavish on what I want in this post, rather than dwell on what I don’t. I’m going to praise those readers who get what I’m sharing, who have benefited from reading these posts.
But I’m also going to praise those who haven’t got what I share. Including those lambasting that second post as transphobic. I am going to praise those people, because they offer grit, the grain of sand that contributes to the ongoing pearl forming in my personality oyster that unfolds as my daily life.
So in praise of both, I offer this rather brief post.
I’m pretty positive
Over the years of writing this blog, some trans women have pretty much raved about what I share. Those who get it, those primed to benefit from what I write, share their enthusiasm and satisfaction.
Some of those women engaged with me as clients. Others, haven’t, but they have reached out from time to time to share their life progress, progress happening at least partially because of what they’ve read on this blog.
I recall fondly an ongoing three-year conversation with a trans woman in the midwest somewhere, who struggled with men and career. After a couple years of focus, she wound up meeting much better men, and started her own business. One that became successful enough that she hired her mom as an employee.
Many such stories fill my memory. And there are less profound experiences that, while less profound, were no less gratifying to receive.
Recently, in response to my most recent posts (at the time of writing this), I got two examples I really, really appreciate. The first I’m sharing responds to a post I wrote after my post about the trans community helping Trump win. In that post I shared my “origin story.”
A few didn’t respond kindly to that one, but this person’s response resonates with intentions I put into that story:
Yeah. I’m pretty positive. And it seems that bright light I offer warmed the heart of this reader.
Making a difference
The post on Trump really triggered a lot of trans women. Getting triggered is unfortunate because it reveals so much more about the person getting triggered and says nothing about the thing the person is letting trigger them.
So when I got a lot of trans women pissed off about that post and the one about me having sex with a post-op trans woman, I reveled in the knowing I have about people, the Universe and how it all works. I shared some of that knowledge in responses to those people who commented negatively. On the surface what I wrote made little difference: the women just doubled-down on their triggered perspective.
But I know when that happens, such people make a connection with what I share in a powerful way. In that way, they are bound to encounter what they’ve read somewhere else in their life. Perhaps it will come in the form they can more readily digest. So I know while it looks like I made little difference, I actually made a HUGE difference.
And that’s why I’ve written so much on this blog. That and other reasons kept me coming back to my computer every week.
Comments like the one below kept me coming back too. Getting comments like this one cause all the flaming from triggered trans women to pale in comparison. Yep, some people out there get it. And it’s cool when they feel moved enough to share like this:
In praise
When a person gets triggered, the belief confrontation happening in them literally takes them over. They can’t control themselves, which is often why such people resort to name calling and even violence. So when people respond negatively in a comment, it doesn’t mean very much. They’re out of control.
But for a person to share a positive comment, something significant must happen to move them to take the time to comment. Feeling good isn’t enough. A strong resonance between the writer and the reader must happen. In other words, someone taking time to share a positive comment speaks more powerfully than someone firing off a triggered, angry offended rant.
That’s why I so appreciate when I get calls or comments, such as the ones above.
I appreciate the flames too though although sometimes it takes a while. That’s because they cause me to dig deeper into my awareness, the very same awareness that has me write these posts every week.
Maybe you can tell I’m heading somewhere. It’s a destination I expect will fulfill itself in the next two blog posts or so. Until then, I appreciate you, dear reader. Whether you get it or whether you don’t.
TL;DR: The author tells how they created an intimate encounter with a beautiful Mexican transgender woman solely through their thoughts and beliefs. Then they encourage everyone to learn how to deliberately create their own dating reality thereby experiencing a life where all they want is theirs.
So why was I on one? Because a client was using one I hadn’t been familiar with. I wanted to see what it was like. I wanted to see what it was like so I could relate to his experience.
But it was terrible. I’m not going to go into why it was terrible. Instead, I’m going to pivot right here and share why I’m writing this post. I’m writing this post because of something that happened with me this past week. What happened shows why I don’t encourage clients to use dating websites. Again, they’re terrible, costly and don’t work for most people.
Instead, I encourage people to use their stories to create their love lives. Doing so aligns one with the infinite resources of the Universe. It’s way more fun, completely free and, if one is patient, one can experience the surprising and delightful way in which the Universe fulfills any desire.
This past week that happened to me. And that’s what this post is about.
Let’s dive in.
Ten years in the making
This story will sound unbelievable. But every time the universe makes something happen in the way it does, it seems unbelievable. That’s because most of us don’t believe the Universe is intelligent, conscious and aware. They also don’t believe the Universe listens to and answers/delivers on every want. And, because most don’t believe these things, they don’t see the Universe doing these things all the time.
I see them though. I see them because I believe it. And that’s why I can share this absolutely true story.
The story starts more than 10 years ago. That’s right, it’s a long story. All the ways in which the Universe fulfills our desires usually takes a while. It can actually take only a few days. But we humans introduce things that delay results. Usually we do that through disbelief. Sometimes we do that through beliefs that counter what we want. For example, we may believe we don’t deserve what we want. Or we might believe someone else has what we want, thus blocking us from getting it. There are many stories – beliefs – we tell ourselves that delay, sometimes permanently, what we want.
I’ve soothed many of those stories, which is why what happened happened. The soothing is why it took 10 years.
What happened was an absolutely gorgeous, smart, wonderful, trans woman reached out to me for a bootie call. I’ll call her Selma. Now Selma happened to be a trans woman I interviewed on the The Transamorous Network Podcast. Back then, more than 10 years ago, I thought she was so hot. But I am also an ethical person. So I wasn’t going to come on to a podcast guest. That’s just not me.
What I did do back then though was lightly think about what it would be like to be with her…
The Universe makes it happen
But I didn’t fixate on that. I just figured back then that it was just a nice fantasy to think about…and…maybe jerk off over…
And this is how the Universe delivers our desires. Life experience brings to our awareness situations we like or don’t like. From there, we know what we want. And so does the Universe. The moment we know what we want, the Universe and all its resources goes to work. It begins assembling conditions, people and resources to make that want pop into our lives.
Receiving the full blown version of that desire requires us becoming a match to it. I write every week about how that happens, so I won’t go into it in this post. Today, I’m sharing this amazing story as proof of what being a match looks like, then what happens next.
So every experience we have helps us know what we want. The Universe takes that and instantly makes a version of that desire available. When we become a match to that experience, it becomes our experience. That’s what happened over 10 years with Selma. It wasn’t that it took 10 years for the resources to come together. That happened instantly. But it took 10 years for me to become a match to it.
What took so long? I’ll briefly talk about that next.
The Universe is your artistic co-creator. What are you going to create? (Photo by Khara Woods on Unsplash)
It begins with a bootie call
For one, I was married. That marriage had a lot of stuff happening in it. Second, as I wrote above, my ethics wouldn’t allow it. “Ethics”, of course, are a set of beliefs. Those beliefs ran counter to being a match to “being with Selma”.
Then I got into a whole bunch of other circumstances that had me focused on other things. Things that distracted me belief-wise from Selma.
Recently, however, like in the last two years, Selma came back into my awareness. That return had me begin to turn the corner belief-wise. My marriage was over. Those distractions were largely gone and I cultivated other thoughts which had me become more and more of a match to Selma.
It was no wonder then that this past summer, seemingly out of the blue, Selma reached out for a bootie call. Getting her message was a TOTAL surprise as all “manifestations” usually are. That’s because we usually can’t tell when we’ve become a match to something we want. So when we are, and it happens, it comes as a surprise.
I would have jumped on that bootie call opportunity…if I had seen the text in time. Selma is from Mexico. She’s a beautiful, indigenous, brown-skinned-black-haired-gorgeous-smile bombshell. And, she was heading south of the border for a couple months. By the time I saw her message she had already gone.
I sent her a message assuring her that, had I seen it, I would have invited her over. And I felt a little bummed about this because I really wanted to see her! Knowing what I know, however, about “beliefs create reality”, instead of staying bummed, I imagined her being here, at my apartment, in my bed, us both enjoying ourselves intwined in our arms and legs.
That felt great.
Now’s a great time to introduce some advanced information about how to create reality, especially people. It’s important to understand this, or at least have it in your awareness, dear reader, as we move through this story.
We create everything…and everyone
Each one of us lives in a reality all alone. That’s right. No one else exists in our reality but us. Every thing in our experience is a reflection of our beliefs, our ideas we hold in our heads. Every person we see is an extension, a reflection, of our beliefs too. When it comes to people, those people reflect our thoughts and beliefs about the people we see.
That means we are ongoingly creating versions of people we experience.
Now here’s the cool thing: The people we see are not the same people those people are experiencing. In other words, say we see John the policeman over there. We are creating a version of John the policeman, in our reality, at that moment. But John, over there in his reality, is creating a totally different version of himself than we are. That version of him reflects his thoughts and beliefs about himself, just as our version of him reflects our thoughts and beliefs about the police, people and John, specifically. Yes, this is true even if we think we don’t know “John”.
So you can see there’s a lot of overlapping creating happening. That’s pretty cool that we experience so many creations. But what is really cool is, this means we can create any versions of people we want!
It’s because I know this that I knew I could create a version of Selma that would wind up in bed with me. I knew a match to that creation already existed in Selma’s version of herself: she reached out for a bootie call. So already we were in the vicinity of being a match. All there was for me to do was amplify that match rather than amplify the opposite of that.
And that’s exactly what I did.
Well, not exactly…
Creation confusion
After that missed connection, I tried communicating with her often, but she hardly replied. She, like me, considers herself a free spirit. She doesn’t want to be in a relationship. After reaching out to her from time to time, and getting no reply, I started thinking I was bothering her. Of course, that caused my version of her to ignore my texts even more.
My thought “I’m bothering her” created a version of her that acted bothered: She wouldn’t reply, or she’d be off line every time I looked to see if she responded. I’m sure you can see similar behavior in yourself, dear reader. We think we’re being harmless by constantly checking to see if the person we’re interested in gets our message or replies.
But we’re not being harmless. We’re actually creating a reality. In that reality we’re creating a version of the person we’re interested in that doesn’t respond to us. How? By focusing on the absence of communication from that person!
Now, I found out later that she really did want to come over when she came back from Mexico. She also wondered why I hadn’t reached out to her more. But I didn’t know that when all this was happening. And yes, this again shows how we create different versions of people. Even different versions from the version that very person is creating of themself!
Here Selma was saying she was interested in wanting to get together. But she was waiting on me. And here I was creating a version of her matched to my disempowering belief: that I was bothering her.
None of the above I knew was happening until after we ended up in my bed together. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.
Giving it all up
Selma came back to the US in September and I immediately reached out to tell her I was still game for a hook up. She didn’t respond. And I let myself get even more poopy about that.
In time, I soothed that resistance, and, as a result, in a couple weeks, she reached out.
This was on Sept 26. She texted to tell me she’d be in my area and that we could meet. Interestingly, where she was going was about a block or two from where I lived. And she didn’t even know where I lived! I was stoked.
A couple hours later, however, she texted again. Selma said the meeting she was having got cancelled! This time, though, I didn’t have a negative reaction. Instead, I just let it roll off my back. Later, I reached out some more to try to coax her over. That caused her to distance herself even more. And the lack of response had me feel doubtful again about us meeting. That doubt felt increasingly awful.
That’s when I decided I need to use the “you create your reality” approach better. After all, I know this approach. Why the hell was I creating something I didn’t want? Why not, instead, create what I did want? So I did exactly that: I completely forgot about Selma.
Before, I responded to everything she posted on FB. So I stopped doing that. I responded to all her posts on Instagram too. I stopped that also. Even thinking about her was something I quit doing. I put her completely out of my mind, which, of course, soothed resistance I was building up, inherent in the intention of “trying to get her in my bed”, which was really creating the outcome “she’s not in my bed”.
I’ll explain why next.
Not thinking about it is key
I say this a lot to clients and also include it in a lot in my writings. You can’t think about the absence of something and create the presence of it. In other words, we must think about having what we want, not not having it. This is something easily confused. Many think they’re thinking the former instead of the latter.
If I’m thinking “I so want Selma in my bed” I’m focused on her NOT being in my bed, which is what I’m actually creating. And that is what I’m going to get. That’s because the Universe isn’t listening to the words we’re thinking or saying. Instead, it’s listening to our vibration: what we’re focused on. And if we’re feeling yearning or strong desire for something, we’re not focused on having that thing. We’re focused on the absence of it.
To get this point across, I often ask clients what it feels like to have something they currently have. Usually they answer by saying something like “I don’t think about it” or “I feel really glad I have it”. Well, that’s what it feels like to manifest what we want. It must feel like we have it, meaning we don’t think about it, or we feel glad we have it. If we’re feeling yearning, or hoping or needing, we’re not focused on having it. Nor do we feel glad.
So while thinking “I want her to come over” I’m focusing on “she’s not here”. And that’s what I was getting: a version of Selma that wasn’t showing up. That’s the momentum I wanted to soothe. And that’s why I stopped thinking about her.
It all comes together
The last contact I had from her was Sept 26. Three weeks later, at 1 p.m. Selma texted: “What are you up to today?”.
Now I would say that came out of the blue, but I KNEW THIS WAS THE MANIFESTATION I WAS WANTING. I told her I was completely open. But I didn’t get all excited about it. I remained indifferent in my focus. I held the feeling of having what I wanted, which is, not thinking about it. Then, at 4 p.m., she texted again. She was headed over!
The next few things that happened proved this was divine orchestration.
I really wanted to go get groceries. So I told her that’s what I was going to do and left. I don’t have a car, so it takes a while to run such an errand. There was a chance she would get to my apartment early, not wait, and bail. But I didn’t entertain any of that kind of thought. I just knew everything would work out.
I walked to the grocery (it’s about 1.5 miles away), then, coming home, I see Selma driving around the corner! Perfect timing I thought!
She looked radiant of course. Selma sees me and gives me that beautiful smile of hers. Then she tells me she can’t find a street side parking spot. I told her She looked amazing and pointed out how perfect it was that she arrived exactly when I got back to my apartment. Selma agreed.
I told her to drive around the block and that I’d see her in front of my building. When I walked around to my building, right in front of the building entrance, was a guy pulling out of a spot. Rock Star Parking! I texted Selma to let her know and, of course, she got that parking space.
Selma got out, we hugged and went upstairs….and after a lovely conversation of an hour or more, we ended up right where I visualized us: in my bed, intwined in our arms and legs!
You create your reality
What happened here? What happened was a beautiful orchestration. An orchestration the Universe performed on my behalf. It was an orchestration I kicked off by expressing my desire, then tuning myself so that I became a match to it.
I’m telling you there’s nothing better than seeing the Universe doing this for me over and over again. It delivers everything I want with no effort on my part other than thinking in a particular way.
Now, I’m no special snowflake. Everyone has this ability. Everyone, you included, can create any reality they want. They can also create any version of any person they want. All it takes is getting one’s stories right on the subject of that person.
Well, that’s not all it takes. It also takes belief. And that’s where most people fail. If you don’t believe any of this is possible, if you think this story was just a bunch of coincidence, “circular logic” or “wishful thinking” then those beliefs put the kibosh on your ability to create your reality.
You still create your reality. You just don’t do it deliberately. So you get some of what you want and some of what you don’t. I prefer a life where everything I want comes to me easily.
TL;DR: The author shares the story of a trans-attracted man who finds bliss in his discovery that his reality comes from stories he tells.
Every time a client texts me with evidence their life is getting better, I delight in the receipt. That’s because I know when they send me such messages, they’re having the time of their lives. It’s also delightful because their improved life amplifies my knowing in this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business, aka (by some) as “Wishful Thinking”. LOL.
When some people use that “Wishful Thinking” moniker, they’re being pejorative. They don’t believe this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business is real. They believe that because this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business is working for them. It’s just reflecting back to them the manifestation of their belief: that this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business doesn’t work, or it’s pseudoscience or new age quackery.
The jokes on them though because this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business is working, just like it does for me and all my clients. I love that!
But I love more when clients text me with their wonder. That’s what I’m writing about today.
Beliefs defending themselves
This past week a trans-attracted client finds himself as wonder-filled as I am. Except, he’s finding himself so dumbfounded by his manifestation results, he sometimes slips into disbelief.
I love when that happens too because it means that client finds himself in a Belief Confrontation. A Belief Confrontation is when All That Is shows us something at odds with our beliefs. When that happens, the juxtaposition of our belief, and the reality we’re experiencing at that moment, is so jarring, our belief “defends” itself.
Our belief doesn’t put up its dukes and gets into a fist-fight with the reality. It’s not human after all. But the energy and momentum comprising our belief is strong. And that strong momentum, when confronted with another strong momentum of energy or vibration, experiences a kind of polarity shift. Kind of like when you try put two magnets together and they repulse one another.
When that polarity shift happens in a human, the human feels an emotion. Typically the emotion is negative. That negative emotion comes on instantaneously and can feel so strong it can compel the human into a psychologically defensive stance. They’ll resist that which doesn’t accord with their beliefs. Or they might willfully ignore it.
Our civilization is full of examples illustrating this process underway. And it’s underway all the time, everywhere.
It really works
After clients produce evidence that “you create your reality by the stories you tell” is accurate, force accompanying Belief Confrontations ease, allowing the client to feel the force without it taking them over. That’s what happened with this client. He deserves some praise because he’s significantly soothed his Belief Confrontations around the fact that he’s in the driver’s seat of his life, no one else, and that he can create any life he wants.
So when he texted me, he briefly expressed some disbelief, but followed that up with a string of evidence showing this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business works. And that balance – between the brief disbelief and the litany of evidence – amplified within him his growing momentum aligning with the belief “this ‘you create your reality by the stories you tell’ business really works!”
Here’s what he texted me:
A trans-attracted client amplifying his belief in this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business by sharing his powerful results.
There’s no evidence proving this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business doesn’t work. Again, even for those who think it doesn’t work, it’s working. It’s working by showing those people a reality in which the belief “this ‘you create your reality by the stories you tell’ business doesn’t work” doesn’t work!
But for those willing to soften that belief, those people’s worlds will increasingly show them that this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business does work. And as that evidence grows, the person will consciously come into their own power. The power they knew they had when they first incarnated as human.
The Charmed Life
We all came here in our human experiences to enjoy our creative power. That includes trans people. We all are incipient gods becoming more in a structure we have created as a part of the consciousness of All That Is. That sure sounds like a circular argument. But that’s only because All That Is is circular in its awareness and purpose.
All That Is is all about one thing: knowing itself through expanding its awareness of itself. That’s its purpose. And it joyfully prosecutes that purpose. We are physical expressions of All That Is seeking to expand its self-awareness. As such, we too can joyfully create our experiences as we move through our human lives.
We don’t have a choice about the expansion or the experience. But we do have a choice in how that experience happens, what’s included in it, what’s not, and how much we enjoy that experience. That’s our innate gift we give ourselves.
And when we choose to deliberately create experiences which bring us joy, then that experience of human life just gets better and better. Just as my clients are seeing in their lives. And as I’m seeing in mine. It’s the Charmed Life. And it’s available to everyone. Even trans people.
TL;DR: The author shares their enthusiasm for the revelation that a prominent Republican is a “Chaser”. They then describe how this is a positive sign, a sign that things are improving for transgender people.
Back in February I wrote a post about how conservative populations include some of the most trans-attracted people despite that population’s anti-trans rhetoric. It was a story I enjoyed writing, mainly because evidence supporting the story was so compelling. I also wrote about how blatant hypocrisy among conservative transphobes was, in fact, fueling momentum for the “future inclusion of trans people”.
Now, this past week, life served a perfect example of that hypocrisy…on steroids.
Last week, CNN outed prominent republican and Trump darling Lieutenant Governor Mark Robinson as a hypocrite, a self-proclaimed “Black Nazi” and more. But what really made him news to this blog is that the story reveals extensive evidence of Robinson being an avid trans-porn consumer, making him a trans-attracted, queer. In other words…his own words… “a perv…”
His history is clear
Now, trans-attraction isn’t a bad thing. There are probably hundreds of thousands of men who are trans-attracted. I write about this all the time on this blog from a positive perspective. I’ve even defined an evolutionary process trans-attracted men move through as they come to accept what they are.
Robinson is at the “chaser” stage of this process. He had been unwilling to admit his attraction publicly. Now that the news is out against his will, he’s denying it vehemently. That makes sense. Robinson vilifies trans people and gay people as part of his far right political platform. The record is clear on Robinson’s thoughts about trans and gay people.
Indeed, his hypocrisy contributes to what I described in my post back in February. It:
“…creates a lot of unnecessary nail-biting and hand wringing. It also creates a lot of wasted time and expense. Not to mention anxiety and self-loathing among those I love. After all, unless one is positively focused, loving oneself is really hard in today’s society. Especially when swaths of the population hate what you are…”
“…supports the unseemly double-standard Republicans hold when it comes to trans people: they secretly love what they publicly hate.”
This anecdotal, yet factual evidence from Robinson’s past adds to the body of evidence showing that a lot of conservatives are also trans-attracted or even queer themselves. Even while they attack people in our community.
With Robinson’s outing, his political career might be losing steam. For now, the GOP-er refuses to embrace his past. How could he? It already might be career-ending. Trump, for example, already delisted him from his next presidential rally according to news reports.
The world is getting better
As ugly as his views are, we can see this news from an empowering, positive perspective. One is we once again have our suspicions confirmed: many of those trying to restrict trans freedoms are, in fact, trans-attracted and may themselves be trans or at least queer. Second, we can see much of their rhetoric reflects a strong momentum of self-denial and even self-loathing. I mean, come on! A black man supporting a return to the days of slavery????
So these people are acting out of a profound lack of self-acceptance. That’s worthy of our compassion. Not anger.
Third, there are people out in the world working to make trans lives freer, safer and more prosperous. Some of those people don’t know consciously that that’s what they’re doing. But they do the work anyway. Thank goodness too for the internet archive, which, apparently CNN used to verify much of what they found about Robinson.
The world is getting better for trans people. I’ve written this so many times. Revelations about Robinson strike nerves for sure. But they also add to the many examples showing trans-phobes for what they actually are. Often they’re legitimate chasers, so consumed in self-hate that they project their hate onto the very people they secretly love.
The more of these stories come out, the better life gets for trans people. The more stories about trans people that get made, the better life gets for trans people. And as more men come out proudly loving trans women, the better the world gets too. So much is happening making the world better for trans women.
So let’s thank Robinson. He’s not doing it consciously. But as his past acts catch up with him and hopefully ruin his career, they’re also making the world better.
