Category: Transamorous men

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The Hidden Truth of Trans-Attraction and Real Love

TL;DR: The author dismantles the myth that trans-attraction is fetishization, showing how authentic attraction to transgender women is distinct, deeply human, spiritually aligned and leaves trans-attracted men free to love themselves.

For years, one of the most common misconceptions I’ve encountered in my work with trans-attracted men and the women who love them is this: that being drawn to transgender women is just another form of fetishization. I used to hear this often in comments on my blog, and recently, a thoughtful reply raised the same point—comparing trans-attraction to a man preferring women of a certain race.

On the surface, that argument may sound convincing. Isn’t attraction just attraction? Isn’t trans-attraction simply one more “fixation,” no different from a preference for redheads or tall women? The truth, however, is far deeper. Reducing trans-attraction to fetishization not only misunderstands men’s lived experiences, it also undermines trans women’s authentic worth.

What Fetishization Really Means

Fetishization is the act of reducing another person to a body part, identity marker, or sexual novelty. It happens everywhere: racial fetishization, disability fetishization, and yes, fixation on transgender women. None of this is new. Human beings often project their insecurities or curiosities into sexual desire.

Yet fetishization, by its very nature, dehumanizes. A fetishizer sees only the attribute, not the whole person. When men are genuinely trans-attracted however, this is not what’s happening. They aren’t chasing “a trans body” or “a trans novelty.” They are attracted to transgender women as complete, multifaceted human beings who also happen to be trans.

The distinction matters. To call every instance of trans-attraction “fetishization” not only insults the men who experience it, it insults the trans women whose humanity gets reduced to a label.

How Trans-Attraction Is Different

In my twelve years of coaching trans-attracted men and couples facing problems due to trans attraction, I’ve learned that authentic trans-attraction isn’t a curiosity or a passing fixation. For many of these men, cisgender women don’t register as partners at all. Their desire, affection, and long-term compatibility all point toward trans women.

That makes “trans-attraction” more than just a “preference.” It’s an orientation that sits outside gay/straight binaries. Unfortunately, society’s misunderstanding of this creates enormous turmoil. When a man discovers his attraction to trans women, shame quickly follows. He may believe this makes him gay, broken, or perverse. None of that is true.

Further, cheating with a cis woman doesn’t shake a man’s sense of identity. Attraction to a trans woman often does. That existential crisis — “Am I gay? Am I still a man? Am I lovable?” — is what makes trans-attraction uniquely different from the examples critics often bring up.

Why Labels Create Both Clarity and Confusion

It’s fair to ask: does identifying as “trans-attracted” or “transamorous” create a new orientation? In some ways, yes—it gives men a safe language to understand themselves. Labels like “trans-attracted” are helpful starting points because they validate an experience men often carry in silence.

But labels are also limited. They can box people into identities that don’t fully reflect the richness of who they are. “Transgender” does the exact same thing for trans women. That’s why my work goes beyond labels. The ultimate goal is freedom — living authentically without fear of what others might say, and without clinging to social categories for validation.

This paradox shows up in trans communities, too. Many trans women rightly reject the gender binary, yet insist on being seen exclusively as “women,” rejecting any nuance that distinguishes their journey from that of cis women. Some even accuse men who appreciate their trans-ness of fetishization. In truth, empowered trans women I’ve met embrace the wholeness of their identity, without fear of being reduced.

“Trans attraction” gives men a starting place to understand themselves. From there, they can let go of labels and simply love.

The Hypocrisy of the Fetish Trope

Accusing all trans-attracted men of fetishization often says more about the accuser than the accused. Trans women who haven’t fully accepted their own trans-ness may feel objectified when a man affirms it. If she sees her trans identity as shameful, then anyone who finds it attractive must be “fetishizing” her. This is projection at work — her unresolved self-acceptance mirrored back through his desire.

That doesn’t mean fetishization never exists. Of course it does. Some men (and women) reduce others to novelty. But collapsing all trans-attraction into that category silences the many men who are sincerely, holistically drawn to trans women. It also denies trans women the dignity of being loved for all of who they are.

A Spiritual Perspective on Trans-Attraction

From a spiritual perspective, the attraction between trans-attracted men and transgender women is not random. These men are vibrational matches for these women. They come together not to perpetuate shame, but to reveal authenticity. Trans-attracted men often carry the role of affirming trans women’s worth, just as trans women often catalyze men into deeper self-honesty.

This isn’t fetishization. It’s alignment, sovereignty in action. It’s the unfolding of two people stepping into authenticity, even when culture doesn’t understand them.

The real issue isn’t whether trans-attraction is a fetish. The issue is whether men and women are willing to live from their authenticity. That authenticity is what dissolves shame, heals relationships, and creates love that lasts.

Conclusion: Beyond Fetish, Into Freedom

Fetishization reduces people to objects. Trans-attraction elevates them into whole-person connections. While some men may indeed objectify, most of the men I work with are struggling not because they fetishize, but because they fear. They fear rejection, shame, and what their attraction “means” about who they are.

Sound familiar trans women?

Labeling them fetishizers adds another layer of stigma. Seeing them as authentically trans-attracted opens the door to healing — for them, for their partners, and for the trans women they love. So, is trans-attraction fetishization?

No.

It’s authenticity calling to be lived out loud.

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Curious or Certain? The Truth About Trans-Attraction in Men

TL;DR: This post compares two clients—Cliff and Justin—to explore the real meaning of trans-attraction. Through their stories, the author reveals key vibrational differences and offers support for men ready to find clarity.

In a recent post, I introduced two men — Romero and Cliff — who believed they were trans-attracted. But closer exploration revealed something else. Romero was simply trying to find a better label than “gay.” Cliff, while deeply in love with his wife, found himself “curious.”

Both used trans experiences to better understand themselves — but neither fit the profile of a truly trans-attracted man. This week, I want to introduce someone who does. I’ll call him “Justin”. His story draws a clear line between trans-attraction and everything else.

When Curiosity Isn’t Curiosity—It’s Clarity

Justin came to me in the midst of a painful divorce. It wasn’t his first. In fact, he described a long trail of relationships—all with cis women—all ending in emotional wreckage.

From the outside, you might think Justin had “bad luck.” But like every client I’ve ever worked with, Justin wasn’t unlucky. He was vibrationally unaware. He carried unacknowledged beliefs about himself, women, relationships, and life. Beliefs he picked up during childhood. Beliefs that haunted him. And those beliefs made him a poor match for the kind of love he was idealizing.

Because yes—Justin is a romantic. He wants love. He believes in long-term relationships. But belief in romance alone won’t get you one. You have to be vibrationally aligned to receive that kind of experience.

Justin wasn’t. At least, not yet.

From Numbing to Awakening

Like many men going through a breakup, Justin turned to porn. In his case, trans porn. But trans content wasn’t new to him. He had been drawn to it—compulsively—since he was a teen. This time, though, it led somewhere different. It didn’t numb him. It woke him up.

That’s when he found The Transamorous Network. From our first conversation, it was clear: Justin wasn’t just “curious.” He wasn’t trying to reframe a kink and wasn’t escaping a label. He wasn’t using trans women to test something else. He was, in fact, done with cis women. He was done pretending he could go back. That’s because he felt a deep, soulful pull toward trans women — to the exclusion of cis women.

That’s the hallmark of real trans-attraction.

Sure, Justin still finds cis women attractive. But when he pictures a future partner, it’s always a trans woman. No contest. No confusion. And no toggling back and forth.

Cliff, on the other hand, still feels most connected to his wife. And that’s ok. His trans experiences opened curiosity — but not clarity. That’s the difference between trans attraction…and something else.

Why Justin’s Current Relationship Still Might Not Work

Like many men in the early stages of discovering their trans-attraction, Justin entered what I call the “tranny chaser” phase. It’s a real, early-stage experience. The attraction is so strong it becomes manic. Men in this phase often flood themselves with porn, escorts, and fantasies — believing it’s finally the love they’ve been missing. But more often than not, it’s another loop. A vibrational replay of the very same stories that haunted them in cis relationships — just now, with different bodies.

Justin is currently involved with a trans escort I’ll call Marge. She lives in Mexico. She’s beautiful. And she’s expensive. She’s also a perfect vibrational match for where Justin currently stands.

Marge struggles with substance abuse. Justin once did too. Marge avoids emotional transparency. Justin still wrestles with that. Marge is sexually compulsive. Justin knows that dance intimately. This relationship, like all relationships, is a mirror. A mirror that’s purposeful.

They’re together to show what each needs to see in themselves. That’s the point.

He Wants Romance. He’s Getting Reflection.

Justin believes he’s in love. He thinks this might be “the one.” And maybe, it could be. But only if he’s willing to do the real work. He must stop trying to “get” a trans woman… And start owning who he is, vibrationally. In that way he’ll clean up his stories and stabilize his momentum. In that way he’ll become a match to the kind of love he actually wants.

Until then, his relationships will keep showing him… himself.

You might see yourself in Justin. Maybe you’ve been married to a cis woman, and it’s not working. Maybe you’ve tried to suppress your attraction to trans women. Or maybe you’ve been binging porn or seeing escorts… and wondering what that says about you.

Or maybe you’re more like Cliff: Curious, unsure. Hoping, perhaps, to explore — but not ready to leave the life you have. Both paths are valid. But they’re not the same. And you owe it to yourself to find out where you really stand.

If you see yourself in Justin or Cliff — or somewhere in between — let’s talk. You don’t have to do this alone. You don’t have to guess what it means. And you don’t have to keep spinning in a loop. Book a free private consultation with me. Clarity is the first step toward freedom.

And freedom… feels so much better. Visit The Transamorous Network and book your session today.

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Another Trans-Attracted Husband Cheats On His Wife

TL;DR: To my surprise, The Transamorous Network remains relevant as trans-attracted men and their partners continue reaching out in search of understanding. Addressing shame, scarcity, and authenticity, this post offers guidance to a cis-woman who is married to a DL trans-attracted man on navigating her husband’s cheating.

Alright. I thought I was finished writing posts for this blog. While cleaning up the back-end, however, I noticed several messages people sent me that I hadn’t received. That was my bad that I missed these messages. I hadn’t correctly set up my contact form. So the messages weren’t forwarded to my inbox.

The majority of these messages were from trans-attracted men questioning themselves AND, no surprise, wives of trans-attracted men. The latter group wrote to me expressing various reactions to discovering their men’s interests. And all of them asked my feedback.

So, it seems, there’s still an interest in The Transamorous Network.

I also got an interesting response through the feedback form I wasn’t expecting. That I’ll share at the end of this post.

Suffice it to say, I’ll keep this site up because, judging from these past comments, people are still looking for information on what it means to be trans-attracted, what it means to be transamorous and what to do when they find out their spouses are one of those two.

The Transamorous Network remains a great resource for those people IOW.

I probably won’t write every week, but I will continue posting from time to time. For now, I want to share one request I got through the contact form because it speaks to many of the others I got. Then I’ll share that other comment I mentioned.

Here we go!

Another cheating trans-attracted husband

The person writing is married. She caught her husband cheating with a trans woman. No surprise there. Many trans-attracted men don’t realize their trans-attraction until after marrying a cis-woman. I’ll spare a further preamble and get to what she wrote:

Hi, I am not good at writing so please forgive me. I just recently found out my husband has been sleeping with [trans] women, I believe he has an attraction towards trans women. He did tell me about one of his encounters and I am just very curious. I am not judging him, if that’s what he likes then that’s ok. The thing for me is the cheating in general, I understand feeling scared, nervous and ashamed. The thing for me is the lying and not giving me the opportunity to make my owns decisions. Even though he has an attraction , I really don’t think I want to be with someone who cheats in general. I also told him I am ok with whatever decision he chooses but he can’t seem to let me go in this process . We have two beautiful boys together and I just want everyone to be happy! Thank you for letting me share, any insight would be helpful. Thanks again, “Melody” [I changed her name to protect her privacy].

This is quite a common story. Many trans-attracted men also have a scarcity problem on the subject of the availability of trans women. Trans women have the same thing going on about men, which is often why they compromise and end up with women. Both parties believe they won’t be able to find a partner aligned with their desires.

He’s clinging hard

The problem with that is, if we believe that the kind of person we want is rare, that’s what we’re going to experience. And so, in this case, the guy is clinging hard to his current relationship. He just can’t see the very real possibility that he can find a trans woman who will, actually, fit him better than his wife.

To keep this short, here’s how I responded. Perhaps another woman in the same boat as “Melody” can benefit from it.

If your husband is sleeping with trans women, he for sure he is attracted to them. It’s a good sign you’re not judging him for that. And, it’s a really good sign that you’re recognizing that lying is not something you should stand for about ANYTHING in a marriage.

I really appreciate that you understand he is likely struggling and so he’s scared and shamed about what he’s feeling. I would wonder, however, if I were in your shoes, what is it about your marriage, or you, or him or all of those, that has him unwilling to be authentic about who/what he is. That’s something to really explore, not because it’s your fault, but because growth opportunities exist for both of you in that exploration. So it would be good for him to look at that too.

Now, as for the cheating specifically. You sound like a smart person. So I’m sure you can understand that the cheating itself isn’t the problem. It’s the motivation for cheating that is the problem. This goes back to what I wrote in the paragraph above.

Like, what is it about him that has him not being authentic about who he is?

Certainly whatever that is also plays a role in him not being able to let you go, especially if his attraction is strong, and for most trans-attracted men, that attraction is VERY strong and something that will likely not go away. He must, therefore, follow through on his attraction and fulfill what’s in store there.

I’m glad to hear you’ll be ok if he chooses that path. I would suggest your best role here is to support him in choosing that path. Your children would be way better off with him choosing this, you will be too and, of course so will he. I can explain in more detail about why your children will be better off if you’re interested.

Suffering is needless

If you’re experiencing difficulties in your marriage because you suspect your spouse is cheating with trans women, or watching trans porn, and you’d like some empowerment around the experience, feel free to contact me. I’ve figured out the contact form, so I’ll respond much faster than I have in the past.

If you’re a guy with a question about your interest in trans women, you can reach out too. Many men like you, like the guy in this marriage, are suffering needlessly. Shame tells you you’re putting others’ opinions above your own. That’s a recipe for problems. Let’s fix that.

Contact me.

Finally, here’s another message I got I want to share. It comes from a trans woman who has followed The Transamorous Network for some time. She lives in Thailand, I believe. When I stopped writing for this blog, I said that if it helped just one trans woman accept who and what she is, then the blog has done it’s job.

Actually, in response to my (previously) final post, several trans woman wrote to tell me how much the blog helped them. The following comes from the most recent trans woman expressing appreciation. It’s long, but worth it, as it shows how much this blog has helped people. I’m sharing excerpts of the full message:

An ode of appreciation

….What I really want to get to is Thank You! I have been following you for 15 months now and I believe I have read most of your articles…15 months ago I was doing a deep dive into [my own self transformation]… I was a cis-het-white guy for 52 years, trained, culled, forced and assimilated into the systems of control and oppression. There… came the crux, the clarity, the guidance of a Higher Power of an opportunity of a radical shift. Today I see it as the most incredible opportunity…lol.

At the time it was a curse of the most epic kind. My 2nd wife [and I] co-discovered the systems we were deeply embedded in. We also discovered that after 18 years in marriage we had gotten to a place where we could no longer support each others needs and it was time to decouple. And there was a discovery that she was a lesbian and much to my surprise … I am trans-femme…

I also discovered that the tremendous childhood trauma I had survived was affecting me greatly every day. The 3 aspects of – ending an 18 year marriage, I was trans and I carried tremendous trauma into all things was brutal (and with todays perspective…absolutely necessary). Any movement forward in transness brought up trauma. I really dove into my programs of AA and ACA, got new sponsors that were aligned with my new identity discovery and a really really good therapist. I kept all 3 very busy as I dove into the work with both feet as I was not going to survive this event if I didn’t. In essence, It was the gift of desperation. Do the work or die…

In my recent EMDR work I discovered I have been this way for lifetimes. It has taken over 15 months of OMG intensive work, I have hit a milestone in my work. I am ready to date.

Your articles over the last 15 months also combined with many of trans authors have been incredible guidance through one of the most difficult times in my life… I almost didn’t make it. The gratitude therein is immense. Somewhere in your Trump article, maybe in the comments, you mentioned that if you reached one person with your message then all the rhetoric and all the time, intention and effort … was worth it. That was me…

You have been a part of the most epic journey, and I believe We are just getting started…

Self loathing of trans women

There are many – I would say the majority — trans women struggling like this person once did. This explains why they’re so hostile to trans-attracted men, and me in particular. We reflect back to them the state of their inner-self-acceptance. And they can’t bear the pain of facing that.

I started this blog to help relieve that. Obviously, some have benefitted. Trans-attracted men have too. Now, I’m curious to see who else will…I’m glad to see this trans woman found liberation from her struggle. I hope to hear from her again.

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Post-Transamorous: A New Journey Calls Me

Photo by Matt Halls on Unsplash

As I write this post, I’m thinking back to my past and my own journey on the “Chaser-to-Transamorous” path. It’s been quite a few years. I’ve written nearly 500 posts about trans-attraction and transamory. I’ve shared my journey of self-discovery and acceptance while offering advice, initially for trans-attracted men. But I gradually shifted that focus to trans women.

As I wrote in a recent post, many trans women and trans-attracted men expressed appreciation for what I’ve shared here over the years. As my own self-discovery included a path into deeper, esoteric spirituality, that knowledge found its way into The Transamorous Network content too. This included this blog, our podcast, our YouTube Channel and more. It’s been fun sharing my journey, offering advice to others and receiving positive support from readers.

Of course, I’ve also received messages from haters, mostly bigoted trans women suffering from self loathing, who projected their hate onto me. I appreciate those people too because those people had me focus even more on supporting the community with the material I offered. I knew those women’s comments had much more to say about them than they did my writing, my content or me as a person. And I knew what I offered could actually help them.

Fifteen years…at least

Speaking of me as a person, discovering my transamory alongside my spiritual origins has been an incredible journey. I remember when I first saw a trans woman. It was in the early 80s in Osaka, Japan. My girlfriend at the time thought it would be entertaining to take me to a Yakuza bar where all the “go-go” dancers were trans. Little did she know, or maybe she did know from a spiritual perspective, that introduction sparked a flame in me.

That flame grew into an adventure that, at first, I struggled valiantly to repress. I was in the Marines after all, before the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell mandate. Being queer was a dischargeable offense. Still, my transamory wouldn’t be denied.

It took more than 15 years, I think, to embrace my queerness and my attraction to trans women. During that time I struggled, but always knew myself as the individual I am today. I knew I would make it through someday. And after making it, I decided to start The Transamorous Network to help others make it. Helping others has been rewarding.

And yet all adventures either come to an end, or they change.

Getting to know myself

My adventure taking the form of The Transamorous Network is about to come to an end. This is the last post. I’ll be focusing on my cisgender audiences going forward. Cisgender people comprise the majority of my clients these days. My experience with them shows them more open to moving along the spiritual path I offer. It feels wonderful seeing them resonate with results they produce through my guidance. So focusing on them is where I want to commit my energies. Doing so feels good and nothing matters more than feeling good.

As I close this chapter of my adventure, I’m reflecting on my own journey, one that began, like many men, with the thought that I was gay. Being on the DL all that time didn’t stop me from exploring. That exploration included having encounters with men. I wanted to find out if I was gay, or was there something else going on with me. At that time “trans-attracted” wasn’t a thing. At least I wasn’t aware of such a term.

So while I still dated cis women, I also explored with men and with trans women when the opportunity presented itself. These days, I’ve had enough experience with pretty much every gender to know what I like, what I’m attracted to and why. I approached this with the same zeal I approached getting to know my spiritual nature. That’s why I know myself as transamorous. Not a chaser. Not a fetishizer.

All things change…

What I find interesting as this chapter closes is my sexual practices have changed. To understand how, I want to tell a story of something that happened while I was still exploring.

Decades ago, I had a long-term affair with a guy named Bill. It lasted almost 20 years. He wasn’t at all good looking, but he had a giant dick I loved to suck and get fucked by. We were really good friends and that’s what the relationship emerged from: our friendship. He was a top and not interested at all in being a bottom. Not that I was encouraging that, I really loved his dick (and came to love him over time, romantically, interestingly enough).

Bill was a sex fiend and couldn’t get enough. I knew this about him and just assumed he was careful. I was shocked one evening though when he told me he had contracted HIV… Years later we reconnected after a rather messy end to our relationship triggered by my fear he put me at risk (I’m HIV-). During this reconnection, Bill shared, to my shock and awe, that he was now a bottom!

I’m sharing this because, recently, I’ve been contemplating my anal play and whether it really offers the sensual stimulation I enjoy so much, or is it instead more of a psychological thing….I’m coming to the point that it is way more the latter than the former. Especially after meeting Yuri and enjoying performing the traditional male role with her.

Post-transamorous and the next adventure

So I’m really close at the moment to declaring myself, no longer interested in being strictly a “bottom”. I find this interesting because I never thought that aspect of me would change. Even though I saw it happen with someone I knew very well.

I feel resolute about this change, in the same way Bill felt about his. It’s interesting contemplating how my life seems to be coming full circle. At least as far as my sexuality is concerned.

And perhaps this is the case with many men who find themselves attracted to trans women. Perhaps, at the end of the day, what we trans-attracted men are looking for is self understanding. And we discover that, as many people do: through the mirror inherent in all relationships.

I’ve had many relationships and have used them to chart my own journey to self-discovery, as, I’m sure, my partners did too. Along the way I’ve met some stellar people, both trans-attracted and transgender. This has been a great journey.

And the journey continues. But it no longer will focus on my wanting to convince the trans community that they are empowered, powerful, creative beings creating their reality as they move through life, and thus can enjoy a life where all they want is theirs. They are that, as is everyone else. Yet, it’s time for me to take the next step in my journey. That requires no longer trying to convince people who are not ready to hear this uplifting message.

So with that, I bid the trans community adieu. The next chapter of my adventure awaits. A chapter where I move beyond identifying as transamorous. I just am.

PS –

If you’re still interested in hearing from me, subscribe to my other blog Positively Focused, on WordPress, Medium, Tumblr and my Facebook Page by the same name. Across all these platforms, Positively Focus enjoys more that 15,000 followers.

The Transamorous Network will likely cease to exist within the next few months.

PPS –

One of the first transgender clients I served, has followed this blog pretty much from the beginning. Her response to this post is the perfect capstone. It’s an example, I know, of how many trans women have benefited from my writings. And so, I leave with her well-wishes:

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I Love When People Get It…And When People Don’t

Photo by Shaira Dela Peña on Unsplash

I publish these posts weeks after I write them. That way, I don’t feel pressure to write something if I don’t want to. Invariably, however, the urge strikes. And so I find myself at my writing table.

Today is no different.

This post is about feedback I received over the last two weeks. Primarily feedback on two posts. The one about how trans women contributed to Trump winning the White House and another sharing my experience with sex with a post-op trans woman.

Not being a hypocrite, I’m going to lavish on what I want in this post, rather than dwell on what I don’t. I’m going to praise those readers who get what I’m sharing, who have benefited from reading these posts.

But I’m also going to praise those who haven’t got what I share. Including those lambasting that second post as transphobic. I am going to praise those people, because they offer grit, the grain of sand that contributes to the ongoing pearl forming in my personality oyster that unfolds as my daily life.

So in praise of both, I offer this rather brief post.

I’m pretty positive

Over the years of writing this blog, some trans women have pretty much raved about what I share. Those who get it, those primed to benefit from what I write, share their enthusiasm and satisfaction.

Some of those women engaged with me as clients. Others, haven’t, but they have reached out from time to time to share their life progress, progress happening at least partially because of what they’ve read on this blog.

I recall fondly an ongoing three-year conversation with a trans woman in the midwest somewhere, who struggled with men and career. After a couple years of focus, she wound up meeting much better men, and started her own business. One that became successful enough that she hired her mom as an employee.

Many such stories fill my memory. And there are less profound experiences that, while less profound, were no less gratifying to receive.

Recently, in response to my most recent posts (at the time of writing this), I got two examples I really, really appreciate. The first I’m sharing responds to a post I wrote after my post about the trans community helping Trump win. In that post I shared my “origin story.”

A few didn’t respond kindly to that one, but this person’s response resonates with intentions I put into that story:

Yeah. I’m pretty positive. And it seems that bright light I offer warmed the heart of this reader.

Making a difference

The post on Trump really triggered a lot of trans women. Getting triggered is unfortunate because it reveals so much more about the person getting triggered and says nothing about the thing the person is letting trigger them.

So when I got a lot of trans women pissed off about that post and the one about me having sex with a post-op trans woman, I reveled in the knowing I have about people, the Universe and how it all works. I shared some of that knowledge in responses to those people who commented negatively. On the surface what I wrote made little difference: the women just doubled-down on their triggered perspective.

But I know when that happens, such people make a connection with what I share in a powerful way. In that way, they are bound to encounter what they’ve read somewhere else in their life. Perhaps it will come in the form they can more readily digest. So I know while it looks like I made little difference, I actually made a HUGE difference.

And that’s why I’ve written so much on this blog. That and other reasons kept me coming back to my computer every week.

Comments like the one below kept me coming back too. Getting comments like this one cause all the flaming from triggered trans women to pale in comparison. Yep, some people out there get it. And it’s cool when they feel moved enough to share like this:

In praise

When a person gets triggered, the belief confrontation happening in them literally takes them over. They can’t control themselves, which is often why such people resort to name calling and even violence. So when people respond negatively in a comment, it doesn’t mean very much. They’re out of control.

But for a person to share a positive comment, something significant must happen to move them to take the time to comment. Feeling good isn’t enough. A strong resonance between the writer and the reader must happen. In other words, someone taking time to share a positive comment speaks more powerfully than someone firing off a triggered, angry offended rant.

That’s why I so appreciate when I get calls or comments, such as the ones above.

I appreciate the flames too though although sometimes it takes a while. That’s because they cause me to dig deeper into my awareness, the very same awareness that has me write these posts every week.

Maybe you can tell I’m heading somewhere. It’s a destination I expect will fulfill itself in the next two blog posts or so. Until then, I appreciate you, dear reader. Whether you get it or whether you don’t.