Category: Transwomen

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How Lesbian Trans Women Best Meet Great Matches Pt. 2

Photo by We-Vibe Toys on Unsplash

In part one, we examined a comment offered by a transgender woman who happens to be lesbian. Today, let’s continue examining those stories. Here’s the comment she made:

My problem with all of this is: what about transgender women who are not attracted to men? I am one of those. Yes, I have had bisexual encounters in the past, but that was purely to satisfy a sexual desire at the time.

I honestly have never felt any attraction towards men, hence if I’m thinking about a committed relationship, I would love to hear how and where a transgender female can meet someone that is potentially interested in her. I find it a very tricky topic: going to a typical lesbian venue could easily lead to having difficulties because of being a trans person. And that seriously limits the options to meet someone. I genuinly have not been able to think of a solution for this challenge. So, I would love to see an article on it!

Last time we looked at the story she’s telling that tells her she has a problem. That’s a problem. When one tells a story about having a problem, and voicing such a sentiment is storytelling, then one indeed stands in a problem. So our friend first must tell better feeling stories, ones that don’t create “problems”. 

I’d like to double down, please

The next story offers even more resistance blocking our friend from enjoying what she wants:

“I find it a very tricky topic:”, she says. Then she doubles down on this one by offering details about why the problem feels tricky. Both amplify creative momentum introducing circumstances wherein she gets what she talks about: not getting what she wants.

“…going to a typical lesbian venue could easily lead to having difficulties because of being a trans person. And that seriously limits the options to meet someone.“

She next tells another story amplifying momentum even more:

“I genuinely have not been able to think of a solution for this challenge.”

So our friend experiences what she wants as beyond her ability to figure out. She cannot unravel the problem of figuring out where and how she can get what she wants.

Such circumstances exist commonly among people. Mainly because people don’t understand how easily reality happens. Or where it comes from.

Life needn’t be hard. Even for trans lesbians.

There’s no special “where”

So nearly everyone moves away from their desires. But they don’t know why that happens. Which is why so many live in frustration, anger and annoyance. Or anxiety, insecurity or a state of compromise relative to their dreams.

From there, people look to others hoping for solutions. And, since most people all do the same thing, the only recourse for folks lies in copying what they see leaving nearly everyone wanting, but hot having. Seeking but not finding. Can you guess where that leads?

That’s right. More frustration. No wonder so many turn to and fail on online dating sites. Even though so many people gather there, hoping for love. We wrote about how sucky online dating is. And how bad the success rate is.

But there’s an easier way. And a more fun way. But so long as people conclude the way others get their stuff represents the only way they can get their stuff, frustration, more often than not, results.

For example, most think they need to “go to where all the single ladies are” to meet single ladies. Bars, clubs, dating websites, weddings…these events become their only go-to options.

Notice a LOT of people meet people this way. But have you considered how exhausting, time consuming, frog-kissing sucky and uninspiring going to a bar is? And how many who do meet someone that way actually end up in lasting love?

There’s no special place to meet your ideal partner. Well, there is. The special place is wherever you are. Because there is where the Universe leads you. And when you follow your Inner Being guidance, spawned from positive stories, you’ll find your ideal relationship unfold in a beautiful, fun, exciting and deeply exhilarating way.

Uniquely you power

Humans are unique. The cool thing about being human is that uniqueness. It’s powerful. The ones doing what everyone else does make their experiences not unique. The key to a wonderful life filled with everything one wants is leveraging that uniqueness.

Part of that leverage comes from knowing the Universe has your back. Hard to know that when you don’t know how that works. But that’s what The Transamorous Network is about. You see, the Universe already knows this lesbian woman’s match. It’s already got her ready to meet this transgender woman.

But the transgender woman keeps thinking thoughts (telling stories) that prevent her from going where her mate is! Her mate is not at a bar. Nor is she online!

Way worth repeating: Most people try what others do to get what they want. Instead of relying on their connection to their inner knowing, which is their connection to the Universe, they look at what others do and copy that. Or they allow others to influence them into doing differently from what they feel would work.

Doing that, they limit the Universe’s unlimited power to deliver what they want in a surprising, delightful way.

The best way to meet your match is by finding positive things about your life and emphasizing those things by talking about only those. (Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash)

It’s more fun “by accident”

Surprise and delight implies “by accident”. It implies one minds their own business. While doing that, enjoying their lives, doing things they like, they make themselves happy. They see no problems.

Meanwhile, the Universe is on it. It’s giving everyone hunches of where to go, what to do, what to look at.

It’s doing the same thing with your future partner. If she’s a match, she’s doing the same thing you’re doing. She’s enjoying life, doing things she likes. She’s not telling negative stories about where you are and why she can’t find you. Instead, she’s following her hunches. Just as you are…or should or could be.

Then, one day, you’re driving down the road. On your right, you notice a doughnut shop. At that precise moment, your gut says, “turn into the doughnut shop!”

You’re not hungry for doughnuts, but the hunch, the impulse is there. You like doughnuts, but you’ve never been to this shop before. You’re kinda hesitant to go, but you’ve practiced following your hunches and telling positive stories about your wonderful female partner.

So, instead of saying “I’m not hungry,” and drive on, you say “what the hell,” and turn into the driveway.

The only open parking space is next to a late model BMW. You pull in. You’re now facing the street. The shop is behind you. When you open the door to get out, you accidentally hit a woman who’s trying to get into the passenger door of the BMW. Startled, she turns around, you look up…and…out of your mouth come the perfect words…

…Next thing you know it, you two are on a date getting to know each other.

That’s how it works

Viola! No dating sites. No hangovers or late nights. You stopped trying to find her. Instead, it just happened, seemingly by accident.

Only it’s NOT an accident.

How does that happen?

  • You stop telling negative stories about what you want.
  • Then you make yourself a match to your desire, by telling positive stories about what you want.
  • Then you start noticing how good you feel after consistently telling positive stories.
  • The better you feel, the more “happy accidents” start happening in your life.
  • That’s when you discover a quiet voice inside of you giving you instructions on what to do, where to go.
  • The more you follow those, the more “happy accidents” happen.
  • Then came the one “accident” you wanted in a delightful, surprising way.

It was almost as if the Universe was promising you what it had up its sleeve and guided you right to where it pulled the rabbit out of the hat!

And that’s exactly what it is doing for people telling positive stories.

We show people how

This is how our clients create amazing lives. They learn what you just read. Then they put it into practice. The practice shows them it’s working. The more it shows them, the more excited and happy they get. Before they know it, their lives improve at a phenomenal pace. Then they sound like this:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=4kthhOHo3zU%3Fversion%3D3%26rel%3D1%26showsearch%3D0%26showinfo%3D1%26iv_load_policy%3D1%26fs%3D1%26hl%3Den%26autohide%3D2%26start%3D268%26wmode%3Dtransparent
A client shares how telling positive stories about her life created a way more positive life.

No one came into the world to do what others are doing. That especially includes transgender people. But everyone gets mixed up about this because physical reality is initially bewildering.

We show transgender people and those who love them how to get the love they want easily and effortlessly. That’s the way they knew it could happen before reality’s initial bewildering nature threw them off track.

Finding a lover, whether you’re trans, lesbian or trans-attracted needn’t be the struggle most make it. But it is when people tell stories making it that way.

Tell better stories, and the world becomes your oyster. Not only that, you get to decide what kind of pearl you find.

Ready to create find pearl? We’re here to help.

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How To Become Super Human, Trans or Trans-attracted

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

This post follows up from last week’s post “Why Trans People Don’t Produce Happy Love Lives”. The original responder followed up with another comment which I used to clarify even further how stories create reality. I’m including only relevant portions. Read her full reply here on Medium.

In today’s world, being clear about how things happen matters more than ever. Otherwise a person gets caught up in negative events and dragged along by their sloppy story-telling. Then they get more of the same. Their lives suck and, before you know it, they’re on drugs. Or depressed, feeling powerless and, yes, out of control.

None of that need happen. Instead, why not become super human?

Trans as a super power

The responder writes:

“I do know about positive thinking, however. If you had any idea of the journey I’ve traveled to arrive at where I am as a stealth Trans woman you would know. I may as well have wanted to be the first astronaut on Mars.“

This explains why so many transamorous men, after passing through their chaser and trans-attraction phases, into transamory find trans women alluring. Sure, trans women might have penises. They might look fantastic. Maybe not.

But what trans women go through significantly distinguishes them from most cis-women. Through that path they develop extraordinary toughness, passion, intelligence, self-awareness and confidence. Some possess an aggression which sometimes serves them well. That aggression shows as success in chosen fields, making them exceptional professionally. These traits also make them excellent partners.

The person who wrote me continues:

“Meeting or finding a partner feels different. I can’t control what others do. I’m not in control of the way Trans women are stereotyped and fetishized by popular culture. How many times have I met a family member of a significant other and watched their surprise that I was “so normal.” Positive thinking has helped me ignore or tolerate or endure the discrimination and rejection. I don’t know that I have overcome it. As a good friend said, I want to be loved FOR who I am NOT IN SPITE OF IT.”

“I don’t dwell on these things, nor use them as excuses, but simply acknowledge that they are real and empathize with my sisters regarding our mutual experiences with this path.”

Her perspective is great. Yes, these things exist. But they need not shape one’s experience. Neither bigotry, chauvinism, or any other negative belief set need be something you take on. The less one cares about what another thinks or feels, even if they direct their thoughts towards you, the better one’s life goes. No exceptions.

Just because something exists doesn’t mean it deserves your attention. Being super human means being way more selective about what you see. (Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash)

Empathizing: bad idea

But the moment, you take on another’s beliefs, those beliefs start creating YOUR reality. Which is why not dwelling on (stories) like “fetishization culture” or “transphobia” serves your best interest.

What most people don’t understand is “empathy” means “aligning with another person’s story”. When one feels what another feels, both people MUST resonate with the shared story. That’s why when someone empathizes with another going through a tough time, they feel the struggle in that. Society would tell you that’s worth doing. I’m saying it’s not. Not if you want what you really want.

Far better: create your best life. Then inspire others to empathize with that. That way you lift people up. Again, when one empathizes with another’s plight, that unfortunate situation brings them down. Whether they recognize the “downing” or not.

I say, don’t bring yourself down, bring others up!

“Plights” aren’t worth empathizing with. Energetically, doing so always brings you down. Want to help someone? Uplift them.

Of course successful transgender women know about positive thinking. Especially regarding their transition success. Still, such women might feel disempowerment in other life areas. It explains why some successful trans women remain single and lonely.

Same goes for everyone else. Dating websites take advantage of such imbalances.

Some successful people know more about “determination” and “will power” than positive thinking. This distinction reveals itself in successful people’s attitudes. Attitudes which reflect hefty doses of skepticism and resignation. Such attitudes come from struggle, working hard and other characteristics accompanying “determination” and “will power”.

These attitudes combined with often told stories about life areas not working out, reveal a lack of positivism.

You can shape others

Being trans or trans-attracted, you, dear reader, might claim positivity, yet still struggle. That’s why The Transamorous Network exists. It offers upliftment and a 100 percent success guarantee. Do what we describe and you’ll find everything you want, easy and quick.

So many think external circumstances and other people’s behaviors exist beyond their control. That belief distinguishes “Positive Thinking” from being Positively Focused.

My experience tells me a person can’t control what happens after it happens. This includes people’s behavior. No amount of positive thinking will change something that happened already.

Many people try changing people’s behavior that way. Changing people’s behavior after it shows up rarely works. When it does, it rarely lasts.

So many people tell us to be positive. But hardly anyone tells you how. But “how” is the key to being positive. We talk about “how” every week.

Effort that fails to impress

But people’s behavior comes from somewhere. All behavior starts as incipient impulse before it shows up. In other words, there’s an underlying origin of all physical phenomena, including human actions/behavior. When a person learns to leverage that, EVERYTHING that shows up shapes to that person’s desires. It does so because what they’re doing when leveraging that incipient reality is they create [shown up reality] before it shows up.

People trying to control other people’s behavior after the behavior happens, create feebly. I pasted the definition below because the it amplifies my point:

There’s no strength or force in trying to change people’s shown up behavior. But one can 100 percent convince and impress the Universe so it inspires behavior in others matching what one wants. That is, IF they discover the reality I refer to above. Then leverage it to their advantage.

Life matches what one wants when one realizes how that happens. I explain how that works every week in this blog. Most don’t understand how it works. But those who do become super human.

Then they get everything they want.

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Why Transgender And Trans-Attracted Love Is Powerful

We’ve said over and over that transgender woman and trans-attracted men potentially change the world for the better. We’ve also said how each transgender woman is special and mentioned the special role they play.

It’s likely no surprise to some transgender women that this is so. After all, early civilizations venerated trans people, saw them as more than ordinary humans and treated them as such.

But looking at how transgender women carry themselves in the world today, how they think about themselves, how they think about men who find them attractive, you’d think (mostly correctly) that many transgender women today don’t venerate themselves.

We created The Transamorous Network to help change that.

You don’t get it…until you do

It took our podcast co-host Remy a single tea date and reading our guides to get who she was. Two years later, she changed her life. She went from believing all men are scum to living her life powerfully, including drawing to her a man who moved across the country to marry her.

Today, more than two years later, they’re still married.

In the seed of every transgender woman a powerful, world-changing being lurks. Same is so for trans-attracted men.

But feeling shameful or insecure about being different or fearing what others think about your difference generates experiences counter to who transgender women and trans-attracted men really are. So too when trans women try extracting positive compliments from others, such as “passable/not passable?” or “fuckable/not fuckable?”

Such playful-seeming actions on the part of transgender women mask insecurity. No one who loves themselves cares about what others think about them.

Recently, Tiffany, a Transamorous Network 1:1 client asked about this “specialness”. She wanted more about how transgender women, and by extension, trans-attracted men, are special, world changers, here to help humanity become more and better by themselves living their authenticity.

Here’s how that conversation went.

Words shared in this conversation mean little. But when life shows a transgender woman or a trans-attracted man these word’s accuracy, then the person hearing them, and experiencing life consistent with them, becomes absolutely convinced they are world-leaders here for a big purpose.

And along with that purpose comes the potential to fulfill every desire.

Positive stories will prove life convincing

But unless a transgender woman or trans-attracted man has personal experiences in their own lives like Transamorous Network clients, or like Remy has had, it’s hard to believe.

It’s only hard to believe because each person creates reality consistent with stories they tell. If, for example, a transgender woman believes they aren’t worthy of being loved by a man, or if a man believes he can’t find a trans woman who will love him for who he is…then both create realities consistent with those beliefs.

A transgender woman on Facebook complaining via her negative stories about men (and another transgender woman endorsing this story). It’s no wonder she struggles finding a man. The stories she tells aren’t consistent with what she wants.

Standing in those realities, I get why transgender women complain, bicker, call all men fetishizers, closeted gays or worse. I also understand why men seeking transgender women call the objects of their affection skeezers, gold-diggers, drama queens or worse.

Such labels spring from knee-jerk reactions indicating displeasure with realities each person is creating. The problem though is a person can’t change a reality they’re constantly complaining about.

It’s easy to get what you want

Getting what you want is supposed to be effortless, fun and guaranteed. Who stands between you and getting what you want? No one but you. So getting what you want is as easy as getting out of your own way and letting it happen.

It’s the “letting it happen” that’s hard. Most people aren’t willing to do that. Most want to “make it happen”, which is why so many people are dating online. They don’t believe life can lead them directly to their lover, so they get in there and try to do it.

Or they’re too impatient. They tell stories about running out of time, being too old, or worse – that they are beyond an age where they’re still attractive.

That’s why so many relationships suck. People push against what should be easy, thus making it really hard.

Letting it happen doesn’t mean sitting on your ass and waiting for that man or woman to come to you, although some waiting is required. Letting it happens means learning how “letting it happen” works, then stepping into one’s power, and using levers everyone comes equipped with to create a reality of one’s choosing.

Then everything happens in magical ways. Only it’s not magic.

Transgender women and trans-attracted men are on the forward edge of what it is to be human. It sucks being trans or trans-attracted when you don’t know that, and don’t own it.

Own it though and the world becomes your oyster.

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Transgender Women: Meet Your Amazing Man: Don’t Do This!”

Photo by Jens Lindner on Unsplash

Nothing convinces better than life experience. That’s why I show transgender people and trans-attracted and transamorous men how to create in their lives proof that their stories can fulfill any desire imaginable. Including meeting amazing romantic partners.

But if YOU want to meet your amazing romantic partner, you gotta stop doing what so many other women do.

I have several transgender clients creating living proof that stories create reality. Gradually, their dreams flow into their lives with less and less effort. They’re happy, sure, eager about life and eager about meeting their matches. Like “Nadia” here:

Then there are others…

Occasionally however, I talk with transgender women who are not clients. I share the same stuff I tell my clients. What’s crazy is even though my clients’ lives offer a metric shit-ton of evidence of their dreams becoming real, these transgender women just don’t get it.

But I do.

Not being a Transamorous Network client, it’s hard (but not impossible) to understand your stories about reality create your reality. It’s way easer defending your limiting stories, which in turn limit your life. Like this transgender woman recently did while talking with me on Facebook:

A transgender woman vigorously defending her limiting beliefs with stories detailing what she doesn’t want, instead of what she wants. That’s a problem.

I’m not trans, but I have personal experience helping trans and non-trans people create fun, fulfilling lives. Everyone I work with gets lives filled with everything they want

So when I adamantly say “transgender women can have any future they imagine, and any kind of partner they want,” I mean it. 😌

He’s looking for you. Are you looking in the right places? (Photo by Tamarcus Brown on Unsplash)

Stand in the truth you want to live

Of course, many people know what they want. But most don’t know how to easily get it. Instead they do what others are doing, or what they’ve always done. Like the transgender woman above, when they get results consistent with what others get (results that suck), they get upset, frustrated and rant about what they’re getting. All the while not realizing their frustration exists for a reason.

Any experience a person has is valid. That doesn’t mean it’s the Truth with a capital T, or that their experience is an objective fact. There is no one Truth and there are no objective facts.

For example, many, many transgender women think all men are pieces of shit, want to bottom and fetishize transgender women for their penises.

Two transgender women commiserating over their truths. What is the price they pay for living this truth? Easy: no relationships, or relationships that suck.

SOME men may be this way, sure. And for transgender women who tell such stories, that’s pretty much the only men they meet. So of course, it’s TRUE that SOME men are this way.

But does standing in stories complaining about and commiserating over such men give you what you want? It clearly doesn’t, right?

Is standing in that truth really worth not getting what you want…especially when a better truth exists were you CAN get what you want?

I don’t think so.

Most people don’t know how to easily get what they want

Instead of looking forward to what one wants and talking about that, most people, transgender, trans-attracted or even plain ol’ cis, will complain about what they’re getting. They’ll complain to whoever will listen, and plenty of people exist who will not only listen, but add their own complaints in the mix.

That’s a definite no-no for both parties because in doing that, neither party helps the other get what they want.

One trans woman seeks confirmation of her story…
And another gives it, thereby reinforcing the unwanted story for herself and her friend. If you want that amazing guy STOP DOING THIS.

It’s fun when a person understands life always shows one what stories are creating what realities. Only people who understand this though can do something about it thereby fulfilling their desires.

But since most people don’t understand this, they don’t know what to do that’s different. They keep doing the same thing over and over, or do things others are doing, thinking just because others are doing it, it will work for them. 🙄

Life is on everyone’s side

What I know is, life is 100 percent faithful to everyone. It is ALWAYS on every person’s side, showing them the sum total of what stories they’re telling. Life gives them plenty of early warning too, so a person understanding this can change a reality well before it becomes…well…reality.

Life is helping the transgender women in these examples above. But they don’t understand how. So they keep doing what they’re doing and getting what they give the most air-time to: opportunity to complain about men who treat them consistent with their stories.

If you, dear reader, want a different (better) love life, or anything else in your life, you must try a better way.

Impatience is not your friend…well…it is, kinda

People (and transpeople particularly) have a distorted perspective relative to results and time. Before any significant time passes they’re impatient and wondering why they’re not getting what they want.

The transgender woman above complains about what she’s getting or rather what she’s not getting, even though she’s only been dating for 12 months. But twelve months is a blink of an eye in universal terms! And yet, people think that’s a long time, then lose their shit when what they want hasn’t come by then.

That’s lunacy!

Looks are nice, but you’re wanting more than that, I promise. But none of what you want will come easily if you’re impatient. (Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash)

Life will give anyone what they want, but when a person gets impatient about it, it can’t happen. Why? Because feeling “impatient” tells you you’re giving more air-time to your complaint than your desire. And wherever you put your attention, you get more of that. In this case, putting your attention on having no relationship gives you exactly that: no relationship!

You don’t need options

Men and women think having a selection is a good thing. That’s why so many people are on dating sites. But the Universe will give you exactly what you want without you having to search or select.

You don’t need a “pool” of men. Thinking you need a selection means you don’t believe the Universe and life is on your side. You’re trying to do what life will do for you. And it will do it far easier than if you do it.

That’s why it’s so hard finding a partner, trans girl. Stop trying to do the Universe’s job.

You only need one man (if that’s what you want): that one amazing guy. But if you think you need to find him, or select him from a pool, you’re barking up the wrong tree (to mix metaphors LOL).

This bears repeating: The more you complain about the men you don’t want, the more you’re going to connect with that kind of man. Wanting that amazing man in your life means focusing on him. Not on the men you’re meeting who aren’t that.

It’s no wonder so many trans women have similar dating experiences. Most do the same things, get the same results then complain to each other about what they get.

Don’t be those women. Instead, tell stories about the man you want. Revel in the wonderful things going on in your life. Stay away from transgender women who complain. Then watch how life easily gives you what you want.

This may be hard to hear: It’s not the men that are the problem. It’s how you’re going about getting what you want. Change that up and see what happens.