Viola Davis is a diva. Her performances across a host of movies and television dramas make her one of the most under appreciated actresses of our time.
Which is why she shocked me on an episode of Hot Ones I recently came across. It was not because she appeared on the show. It was because of what she said at the end. What she said added more authority to what we assert at The Transamorous Network.
In case you, like me, didn’t know, Hot Ones is a YouTube phenomena. The show features the typical celebrity interview format, but with a twist. During the interview, celebrities feast on some of the hottest chicken wings in the world. That makes Hot Ones interviews internet sensations. Most celebrities can’t keep to their PR scripts when their lips and assholes are burning off. I write “most” because Davis bucked that trend.
While watching Davis devour her wings, I noticed a common refrain in the comment section. Little did I know this foretold of a delightful outcome for me. A lot comments made mention of something Davis said at the end of the interview. Rather than jump to the end, I watched the whole thing. It was inspiring, of course. Obviously, others thought so too:
Above: Commenters raving about what Davis said at the end.
Clarity begets success
What’s interesting is what she did share applies specifically to transgender people and the trans-attracted. She lays it out with such grace and power, making it hard to ignore. Perhaps that’s why so many were touched by it.
And this is the thing. Davis’ success isn’t attributable to talent alone. Primarily, like all success, Davis enjoys her’s as a result of knowing who she really is. Then living from that place. Watching the interview, it’s clear she lives authentically, which I deeply appreciate. It’s the exact same lesson I’m learning through my own practice of what we share here at The Transamorous Network. And, Davis’ example can be a powerful one for transgender women and trans-attracted men.
What she says at the end of the interview though is pure gold. In a few sentences, she sums up exactly what we assert at The Transamorous Network. So, dear reader, if you’re having trouble accepting what we talk about here, maybe you’ll take it from this diva. Here it is, direct from her mouth. We set the video up to start right where she begins sharing her wisdom.
Davis the diva laying down truth.
Clarity is a powerful thing. When a person understands what they really are, they can create anything they want in life. That includes fame as an actress. But first, one must let go of our penchant to compromise who we are in favor of others’ expectations. She calls that “becoming our ideal selves”.
Listen close trans and trans-attracted readers
We agree. And perhaps that’s why her closing statement impacted so many people in the comments. It applies DIRECTLY to transgender and trans-attracted people: “We are born into a world where we don’t fit in,” She says. “Then you answer the call to adventure.” There is a “deep voice” within us, she says. It tells us EXACTLY who we are. “You just have to have the courage to [be] that.”
I love the power and intensity with which she says all this. It’s definitely worth listening to many times. Some commenters agreed:
We say every week exactly what Davis is saying here. We don’t use the word “courage” however. That implies risk and threat. But there is no risk or threat in living authentically. It’s all upside.
I encourage all my clients to live that way. And guess what? As they do, they discover exactly what you just read. That’s because life IS all upside when lived authentically.
Maybe you’re ready to do that, but don’t know where to start. Of course, I can help. Contact me and let’s get started.
If you’ve read posts here before, you get a sense of our perspective. Humans create everything in our experience. Including other people. But nearly all of us are doing that unaware that’s what we’re doing. So we blame the world around us, and other people, for our troubles. All the while not realizing when we do that, we create more trouble for ourselves.
Tremendous amounts of power lie hidden in that very true synopsis of our perspective.
Trans-attracted men (and transgender women) are no exception to this. Most of us think the world around us some objective thing. It’s separate from us, not springing out of us as a reflection of our inner state. So it’s not a wonder trans-attracted men will react to inner awareness with fear. Their basis for self understanding is external, as it is for most of us. It doesn’t matter that that basis is flawed, which it is. When they notice something about themselves, they will consult the world around them for what’s true.
Transgender women do this too.
Unfortunately, the world around them will tell them they are the problem. Then, trying to fit in, they’ll hide this new awareness, or try changing it. Social ostracism, for the uninitiated trans-attracted guy, is a terrible thing. Familial ostracism is even worse. Ostracism from one’s manliness is an even more fearsome thing. No wonder such men struggle accepting what they are. Just like many transgender women.
It’s meant this way
But the world IS a reflection. And like all reflections, it’s an illusion. The paradox of this world though, is, if you walk onto a freeway, cars zooming toward you will kill you. So we must all contend with the powerful “reality” we put ourselves in that feels so real…when it’s, at the same time, not at all real.
After all, if we knew it wasn’t real coming in, the benefit of life would not be ours, would it? So we hypnotize ourselves into this “kill you” part of the paradox.
Meanwhile, the reflection serves us all. It aids in our becoming better versions of ourselves. “Better versions” look like increasingly pure expressions of divine intelligence. More direct expressions of All That Is, in other words.
“Trans” and “trans attraction” represent this purer, more direct expression. What do you think Divine Intelligence, or All That Is, looks like anyway? A grey-bearded white guy?
NO!
All That Is is “TRANS gender”. It comprises both genders while simultaneously rising above themall. It is more than the sum of its (infinite parts).
And so are we.
Physical reality is an illusion…that can kill you. (Photo by Chris Barbalis on Unsplash)
Back to the guys
Trans-attracted men are identical to transgender women when viewed from this perspective. They are on similar paths. You could say they are on different aspects of the same path. No one’s murdering these guys, sure. But again, it’s not the SAME path! It’s a DIFFERENT ASPECT of the same path. We could even call it a COMPLEMENTARY aspect.
In other words, while transgender people need no protectors, trans-attracted men can complement them in off-the-chart ways. But these men first must know what they’re doing with their trans-attraction. Their journey from Chaser to Transamory IS THAT PROCESS.
If transgender women were willing to change their view of such men, they would find powerful allies there. Yes, it takes a profound willingness to change one’s mind in the face of so much evidence to the contrary. And I know most transgender women won’t do stop looking at the contrary evidence long enough to do that. It’s true: self-loathing is a powerful elixir.
But some do. Some like my clients.
Every story can change. Even self loathing ones. A powerful figure with tremendous global influence once said of his tormentors “Forgive them Father. They know not what they do.” There’s great power in forgiveness. That and asking questions.
A simple question can change the course of even the most vile person. And in that way transgender women can become catalysts for trans-attracted men. If they choose to.
So, transgender women, the next time you get a dick pick from some online dating app you’d do better not being on, perhaps instead of getting mad, forgive the sender. He doesn’t know what he’s doing.
Then, maybe, ask them a question. Like: Why do you think sending me this picture will get you what you think you want?
American, and many other cultures, venerate the family. For many people, family represents culture’s bedrock.
But family also remains the prime source of beliefs so detrimental to human civilization, it’s a wonder civilizations get along as well as they do.
That’s why there’s nothing more liberating than finding freedom from one’s family. Expectations, pressures and bogus beliefs formed as a result of coming into the world through them can throw us off the path we chose before coming here.
It’s a wonder so many transgender and trans-attracted people crave acceptance from families that would otherwise “disown” them. Such families do such “victims” a massive favor when they do disown them. They free such people from insidious stories. Stories which can debilitate a person for the rest of their lives.
My birth family was the path through which I came into the world. Nothing more. Most of my youth I spent alone, in the woods, or with friends on the streets. My parents offered little in the way of forming family bonds. My father left after divorcing my mother when I was nine. After that, my mom focused on raising us. But also doing what she could to enjoy her life.
I bore no judgement toward her behavior. I appreciate, even now, sacrifices she made for us. Or rather, actions she took out of her own sense of responsibility for bringing children into the world.
I recall many tender moments when my mother was very much a good mom. And moments when she bitterly blamed her three boys for burdens we experienced, the main one being her divorce from my father. My mother really loved my father. Racism tore our family apart.
But that’s another story.
Stories with no stickiness
Playing with my mothers clothing clued me in on my unique nature. So did the amount of time I enjoyed being by myself. In my classes for gifted students, I did nothing remotely academic. I just enjoyed exploring my thoughts and personal interests.
Joining the Marines after high school finally separated my family and I for good. In the military I formed more of who I am today. I got clear about myself with little outside influence. Sure, the Marines shaped me. A lot. But that shaping was very much in line with what I knew myself to be: disciplined, focused, individual.
I visited my mother off and on after the Marines. But it never felt like coming home. Home for me is wherever I am at the moment. So when I told my mother, now as an adult, that my real mother was “the Universe”, she wasn’t happy to hear that. And yet, I believe she wasn’t surprised. I think she knew I never felt part of what she believed to be “family”.
Thankfully, stories that made the “Grubers” weren’t all that sticky. Not for me anyway. I felt no longing when away from siblings. I thought little about my brothers. Instead, I felt most connected to All That Is, the real essence from which I spring, from which we all spring.
But I get others choose families as entry points with very strong stories. Such stories make it exceedingly difficult when those stories drive family members to ostracize or disown some of their own because of who or what they are. Where is the love in such families? Where’s the unconditional love spoken of so highly?
Family pressures borne of bogus stories
And yet I understand how some transgender women struggle with stories they’ve taken on. Stories which have them believe they need their families.
I get why many trans-attracted men fear so intensely reactions their fathers and mothers might have were the men to declare, proud and out loud, this aspect of themselves. Stories we receive from parents can powerfully shape our own stories. Stories about ourselves. And, yes, stories which force a choice between being authentically who we are, or, being part of the family. “Being part of the family” meaning: living up to expectations parents and families have for us.
Leaving behind family is often the best thing a person can do. Especially if one wants to live authentically. (Photo by Mantas Hesthaven on Unsplash)
Such stories propel people on wayward paths, often away from their authenticity. People build entire careers based on those stories. They get married because of these stories, when it would have been better not to. They have children.
Some even commit suicide. Internal pressures from stories adopted from families can be that powerful. And cause that much suffering.
So stories, expectations and such often lie at the heart of people’s decisions. So subtle they are, those making such decisions don’t know adopted stories are deciding for them. Thankfully there is always time to course-correct.
Many of my clients come tangled in the web of bogus stories driving their actions. Often they originate in family dynamics. It’s not that such stories aren’t true. Any story or belief will draw sufficient evidence to cause it to become “true”.
It’s just that such stories often don’t align with purposes inherent in my clients’ knowing. So they come to me seeking realignment. They don’t know this until joy that’s been elusive returns. From there they discover courage to be who they really are.
Liberation frees one to love
If only people knew how many human families they’ve had throughout the many lifetimes they’ve experienced. If they only realized the loving and eternal bonds they share with their Broader Perspective, beings who are, even now, looking on them and blessing them with a love more powerful and enduring than any a human can give. Even a parent.
If they knew these things they would more powerfully choose being who they know themselves to be. Instead of kowtowing to the idea of what they should be according to their parents, according to their family, and then suffering through all that.
There’s nothing like the liberation borne of being authentic. Often that liberation comes at a cost: liberating oneself from one’s family. I’ve known this all along. I know my experience is rare, me having done this at a very early age. But I believe it was meant this way so I could offer liberation to those who need a hand up, out of the fear familial stories sometimes trigger.
I know the powerful, overwhelming love of my Broader Perspective, my Whole Self and my cadre. It’s from there I offer all I do in my blogs. I do so expecting it makes a difference, with my clients, specifically, but also with the entire human civilization.
I see those results happening, and so I’m grateful. And I know my parents’ Broader Perspectives agree with my path.
But their agreement isn’t a prerequisite to my satisfaction. My satisfaction stems from my authenticity expressed, and the love I feel in return from those who support me in my real home: the nonphysical realm. Where all things begin, end and begin again.
A very deep, eternal and enduring force drives the increasing number of children coming out as trans. It has nothing to do with “grooming”. It has nothing to do with “indoctrination”. The real reason surprises most people because few understand it.
Transgender people have always been, and they will forever be. That’s because they, and everything else, come from a single Source. That Source has good reasons for the increasing number of transgender children coming into the world.
So the questions we should be asking are: What is this Source and why is it sending so many transgender children into world right now?”
Answering these questions will do something else. It will make judging the phenomena as “right” or “wrong”, “moral” or “immoral” superfluous. Until we answer these questions, transgenderism will confound those unwilling to understand the origin.
So let’s see where we can turn to answering these questions.
The origin of “trans”
Over the last 30 years I pursued such questions, though not specifically about transgenderism. Instead I focused on my trans-attraction. Discoveries I made are startling. But they’re also extremely empowering. Everything told to me by experts who have guided my pursuit has proven accurate. I document my journey in my other blog. My client’s experiences mirror my own documented discoveries. So I know my experiences are real. These experiences form the basis of my understanding of where “transgender” comes from and why.
The reason “transgender” is, is because transgender people represent the furthest forward expression of humanity. It is an expression of spiritual consciousness; a consciousness wanting to go beyond what has come before. So transgenderism represents spiritual consciousness going beyond past expressions of humanity.
While some transgender people want to be seen and appreciated as “women”, being transgender is not a homogeneous experience. Many want to fit in with “women”, but non-binary transgender people exist too. As do people presenting all kinds of combinations of gender expression, yet still calling themselves “trans”.
Evidence backing my claims, again, comes from personal exploration. Much of it defies description. That’s because language can’t adequately express experiences I’ve had. Evidence also comes from my mentors. Beings who have long given up corporeal existence. They once were human, but have now moved beyond that.
“Trans” is a spiritual experience. (Photo by Kyle on Unsplash)
The Source of my knowledge
My mentors are Abraham and Seth. Both describe themselves as “energy personality essences” who speak from “nonphysical”. Nonphysical is the “place” from which all physical phenomena emerges, including humans.
Seth and Abraham are teachers. They enjoy expanded consciousness through which they help beings like me expand my awareness. But only when we’re ready. Until then, what they share is largely unknown. Which explains why few know about them. And why even fewer believe or practice what they say.
YYears ago I asked Abraham directly my trans attraction. I did so at a public workshop they held. They offered an explanation almost identical to what Seth said in their writings.
On stage at their San Diego event, I asked Abraham: “why am I attracted to transgender women?” Abraham’s answer was, to paraphrase: Because you’re here to express a new vantage point for consciousness, one that’s never been expressed before.
Seth expressed similar sentiment, but from a more general perspective in their writings.
The leading edge
Seth when active was extremely prolific in creating content. They went to great lengths to explain, in minute detail, how reality works. In discussing the basic reality behind all physical phenomena, they had a lot to say. Here are relevant quotes hinting at transgenderism’s origins:
“Basic reality cannot know itself without creating diversity. The diversity is the various forms that reality takes, the various systems within which it expresses itself through projecting itself into infinite individualized experience.”
Further, Seth explains that each human possesses an “inner self” then adds:
“Each inner self is a portion of the basic inner reality. It cannot know itself, however, except through experience, and it must create in order to experience. The experience constantly deepens the value fulfillment of basic reality itself. [So] There is no alternative between diversity and nothingness.”
Basic inner reality then has no choice but to create. It must continually do so. Humanity is a product of this inner reality creating itself to know itself. Diversity of creation, taken in total, allows this inner reality a fuller picture of itself.
Seth says this basic inner reality can never fully know itself. Therefore it forever keeps creating to know itself. But in doing so, it creates more of it self that it seeks to know. So diversity of expression then, Seth is saying, is automatic, essential and ever-becoming more.
Basic inner reality is constantly creating more of itself.
The joy of transgender born of basic inner reality
Seth continues:
“That which is, is constantly aware of its growing, surging existence, through the diversity of experience which it creates constantly and simultaneously. You are part of that which is, you are that which is. It is impossible for any part of that which is not to be individualized. Every part of that which is, is alive, and knows itself.”
So it makes no sense for “that which is” to keep creating the same thing over and over. It must, instead, create anew. But it does so with current creation as its foundation. When it does create, that which is created appears to flow from what is.
Biological male and female exist. But those distinctions are superficial in the extreme. They only exist to further procreation, the process by which basic inner reality introduces itself as individualized existence into its creation. Beyond that, gender is meaningless.
That explains why a person can come into the world as “male” but feel they are “female”. The energy that makes the person IS female, or better said, expressing as feminine. It comes into the world in a new, unique perspective. A perspective presenting as “male” physically, but also aware of a dominantly energetic-essence feminine aspect, offers “that which is” a new, unique perspective. One divergent from male/female.
Each expression of “that which is” is individualized. That means each person’s experience is new unto the Universe. So even though many transgender people exist, each individual transgender person is a UNIQUELY, NEW experience for “that which is”.
And so, the reason more transgender people are showing up among young people is two-fold. The first reason is because now is a perfect time for such beings to enjoy the experience. The other reason is because of the focus being leveled on the experience itself.
All That Is loves this
I’ve said before, whatever we focus on gets bigger. Right now, a LOT of people are focused on the trans phenomena, including transgender people themselves. All that focus then is drawing more individualized expressions of “that which is” to the experience.
In other words, the more people push against and revel in transgender expression, the more of it will show up. Until “that which is” fully expresses all it wants to in that permutation of expression. What’s wonderful about “that which is” is, it never can fully express itself. So we can count on “transgender” being here, at high levels, for some time.
As every expression has a corresponding response, “transgender” has a corresponding experience which “that which is” is also enjoying. It’s called “trans-attraction”. In other words, as it expresses itself as trans, “that which is” wants to experience that expression from as many “angles” as possible. This explains why parents are having trans children. It’s why siblings are having trans brothers and sisters. It’s why Christians and Republicans are facing the experience too, from their unique angle.
This also explains “trans-attraction.” Trans-attraction wouldn’t exist without transgender people existing. Trans-attraction is “that which is” experiencing “transgender” from a brand new perspective. One called “romance” or “attraction”.
And this explains why many trans-attracted men are so bewildered by their experience. Most focus exclusively on their “human” experience. They mostly ignore their spiritual experience. Another word for “spiritual” is “basic inner reality”.
But the spiritual experience is always there. And it strongly influences the human one. That’s why trans-attracted people find resisting their attraction challenging. It’s also why transgender people must transition. Their Broader Perspective, that spiritual Source of all they are, craves this experience. It craves the “transgender” experience. It craves the trans-attraction experience. Both cravings are undeniable.
Trans-attraction and transgender are both here to stay
That’s why I say trans-attraction is normal and wholesome. It is a full-on expression of All That Is as it seeks to know itself. And that’s why when trans-attraction is expressed and consummated, we trans-attracted men feel so freaking good. The same is true when transgender people transition and feel the relief in doing so.
If more transgender women understood what I’ve written here, they could enjoy attention such men give them. Some could give up loathing themselves. They could help the men express themselves better. And they could help such men be more comfortable with themselves.
In the process, they can find more joy AND the love they yearn for. For “transgender” and “trans-attraction” are reflections of each other. They are both an expression of All That Is knowing itself. And when that knowing is expressed, great joy results for everyone invovled. Just ask any transgender woman in a long-term relationship with a trans-attracted/transamorous man. Like this couple:
Yes, trans-attracted men and transgender women can find happiness.
As long as transgender women push against such attention, however, transgender women do exactly what conservatives are doing: they just draw from All That Is more trans-attracted men. Just as conservatives are responsible for attracting into the world more transgender kids. It’s a wonderful formula through which All That Is becomes more, and in the process expands its awareness of itself.
“Transgender” as an expression of the basic inner reality is here to stay. All That Is revels in it. It will never go away. And neither will trans-attraction.
Because it is all that we are. Including transgender and trans-attracted people. And if transgender and trans-attracted people understood this as their life experience, we wouldn’t be so desperate to get love. Love would come to us. With none of the drama, heartache or loneliness.
We want love so bad because we’ve been – as one client put it recently – entrained into bogus stories. Stories that say we’re not enough. Some bogus stories say we’re incomplete if we’re not in a relationship. Others say we should be lonely if we’re not in a relationship. Some even go so far as to claim something is wrong with us if we’re not seeking coupledom.
There are far more bogus stories than these which have us desperately seeking love. The irony of all these stories is how far they’re off the mark. The love all of us – myself included at one time – desperately seek outside ourselves is a lot closer than we think.
And it’s THAT love we all really want. That love is self-love. Self-love is the experience of one’s self as enough. But it goes even farther than that. It is radical adoration for all that we are…and all we’re becoming. Even though we haven’t yet fully become that.
Do you want to be right or happy?
This self-love tangibly expresses the reality that we each ARE love, flowing ourselves constantly into a human body. Clients who stick with me for a while come to this realization. When they do, it’s a profound shift in their life. It usually comes after they create things or “manifestations” consistent with their dreams.
In other words, the shift happens when they create a life consistent with positive stories about their life and what they want. That usually doesn’t happen until they’re ready to give up stories they tell creating a life they don’t want.
Part of that journey requires giving up being right. It’s “true” that many men are chasers, cheaters or won’t date a trans woman in public. It’s “true” that many transgender women are bat-shit crazy, cold diggers or call girl/OnlyFans obsessed. So both transgender women and trans-attracted men get to be right.
I always ask my clients though: Which would you rather be, right or happy? That’s another bogus story we hold tightly to. “I’d rather be right than happy. I must face the facts. I must tell it like it is.”
A lot of people prefer being right. Including trans-attracted people and trans women. I find that a shame when happiness is so easily had.
The problem with telling it like it is is, when we do, we keep getting more of “like it is” than what we want. The same goes with love. Other people, society, social media and our life in general train us into believing this love that we ARE doesn’t exist. So we seek it out “in the world”. But we do that through stories which create less love and a lot of “telling it like it is”.
That’s why so many of us are unhappy, angry and lonely.
Love is good. Even when it hurts.
Love is awesome. It’s so good for us. Being in love with another, whether human or animal, gives us a glimpse of what life can be when we consistently tune in to the love that we ARE.
We as love are unconditional. That means we love everyone and everything. Not so with loving a partner, or even a pet. The split second our love interest does something we at all that disappoints us, we’re out of love. We’re in annoyance, frustration, anger or fear. Or worse…betrayal.
Real love isn’t compatible with those emotions. Real love keeps on loving. Even when the object of our love acts “unlovable”. That’s why the love we are keeps loving us. It is unconditional. So when we fail to love, it still loves us. That’s why it feels so bad when we fail to love.
Abraham saying being in love is key to getting what we want.
Love brings us what we want easily
But that love that loves us even when we’re not loving is more than just a feeling. When a person taps into themselves as that love, not only do they no longer NEED love from another (animal or person), they find a richer, more satisfying, more consistent love. That love, of course, is the love they ARE. It’s unconditional, always there and feels more deep than any love anything outside us can give.
The cool thing about that love, the love we all are, is, living from there, everything else we want comes easily. Partners, lovers or whatever, it doesn’t matter. That’s because our world is a reflection of our inner state. When we’re unhappy or lonely, it’s very hard to get the love we want. Because when we’re unhappy or lonely, we’re not a match to love. But when we’re in the love that we are, then the world must reflect that love back to us.
What does that look like?
It looks like a life where everything naturally works out. Where life just gets better and better.
It doesn’t happen all at once. Change happens gradually. But proof it’s happening is obvious if we know where to look. I teach my clients where to look. Once blind, they now see evidence everywhere. And the more they see, the more they eventually find the love they are. Then they get the love they want.
