Category: Self-love Acceptance

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Complicit in your own self-self-mutilization?

 

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Bell hooks (born Gloria Jean Watkins) is an African-American author, feminist, and social activist. Her writing has focused on the interconnectivity of race, class, and gender and their ability to produce and perpetuate systems of oppression and domination.

In a recent interview on The Transamorous Network Podcast, due out soon, we talked about the power of the patriarchy, its viciousness and its vile effect….

Not on women.

On men.

What does this have to do with trans attraction?

A lot. The shame you feel being trans-attracted rests deep in the vileness of the patriarchy. Like the quote says: patriarchy’s first violent act is within men.

Something to think about. Some questions to help you:

  • Why do you keep thinking you’re gay because you find trans women attractive?
  • Why are you asserting your straightness in online dating ads and other communiques about your interest in trans women?
  • What are you afraid of in owning your trans-attraction?
  • What do you have to lose if you do own your attraction to these beautiful people?
  • Is what you have to lose really so valuable that you are willing to tolerate being less than, expressing less than all you are?

All of this is definitely worth thinking about. Contact us if you need someone to talk with about this.

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Be thoughtful about Pride Month

Chris Johnson WHAT STORIES
Photo by Chris Johnson

Seems every minority has a month. The LGBTQ community is no exception. This month is Pride.

An interesting factoid about Pride: it was spearheaded by the transgender community. Pride sprung from the Stonewall Riots. A major figure at Stonewall was Marsha P. Johnson, a well-known black transwoman in the community. Her and other transgender people were primarily responsible for sowing the seeds which became pride festivals celebrated across the country.

But that’s not really the real interesting factoid. The really interesting factoid is that while gay, lesbian and bisexuals primarily benefit from Pride awareness, those same communities once rejected transgender people from their ranks.

To some degree they still do. Despite this, we see a tremendous upsurge of transgender awareness. I think that’s exceptional. Trans people will not be held back. They represent a leading edge of what it means to be human and humanity is wanting to express itself in ALL ways.

Regardless how others think about transgender people and the people who love them, Pride offers a reminder for transgender people and those who find transgender people attractive to check your stories. What is it you’re thinking about who and what you are? Are your stories positive? Are they uplifting? They better be if you’re wanting what you want.

Your stories about you, about the world, about everything are determining your life experience. This month, take a moment to reflect on what you’re thinking, sharing, tweeting, reposting, reading.

It makes all the difference in the only world that matters: yours.

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When empathy is not your friend

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Empathy doesn’t serve you. Or your friend. (Photo by Sydney Sims)

Empathy is never your friend. Not if you’re wanting to have your dream life, including a loving relationship with your dream partner.

Society heralds being empathetic as something positive. Empathy, we are told, is the ability to feel and understand the feelings of another. Sounds harmless enough. It may even be beneficial to our friends and loved ones to be empathetic. Especially when they’re feeling sad.

But is it really?

When you’re feeling what another is feeling, you’re giving control of your life to another person. If that person is feeling negative, now both of you are inviting more experiences of the kind that had your friend feel negative emotion in the first place. That’s not helpful. For either of you.

Why?

Because all that you want, including another person feeling better, is only available to you when you are in a happy place, appreciating all that life is giving you and enjoying the process of your own becoming. When you focus on another person’s negative condition, and because of that, you match their negative feeling experience, you are closing yourself off from your ability to receive what you’re wanting. That’s why you feel bad when you do that.

Your friend feels better, yes. That’s because he or she has cut herself off from his or her power by focusing on the negative aspects of a situation. So when you join them in that perspective, of course they’re going to feel better. You’re the only friend they have at that moment. They’re using you to fill the void they created by cutting themselves off from their higher self. So now you both are cut off and the only company you have is each other, both of whom are powerless.

It’s far better to relate to your friend from your only place of power: your connection with yourself. You know you’re connected with yourself when you feel good. Period. When you hold your own happiness firmly in the face of your friend who is struggling, you have a better chance of lifting them to where you are. And feeling happy is always better-feeling than any negative emotion.

If you want to have empathy, then empathize with your friends positive perspectives, even if they’re absent right now. Remind them how great they are, how great life is, how this immediate situation that has them feeling negative is temporary. This is the best medicine. For everyone.

 

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Following your impulses gives you everything

 

No matter who you are, your Inner Being will guide you to everything you want. The key is calming your mind and then training yourself to know the difference between your random thoughts and your Inner Being. It takes a while to train your everyday mind to soothe, but it is so worth it.

  • To give up having to struggle to get the love you want
  • To give up thinking the world is a random place where people randomly get what they want, but mostly get what they don’t want
  • To give up thinking you are somehow unworthy of love
  • To give up feeling alone
  • To give up feeling that everything and everyone is against you somehow

There are so many more of these kinds of thoughts you naturally let go of once you connect with your Inner Being. Why? Because when you do, you discover through that most important relationship, that you are blessed, you are loved and you are receiving all that you’re wanting because you create your reality.

We’re demonstrating it in our own lives as are our clients. Now, it’s time for you to demonstrate it in your own life. Our examples, our words can go only so far in convincing you. At some point you have to test what we offer. And let your Inner Being and your life experience offer you the evidence you need….to believe.