Category: Self-love Acceptance

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Here’s How Stories Create Reality

At The Transamorous Network we talk about stories – beliefs a person holds – creating reality. Today I’ll share what happened recently that shows how stories work. Once a person learns how to tell positive stories, that person discovers they are blessed by Universe, because Universe fulfills all stories, whether wanted or not.

I wrote an essay for a LGBTQ anthology coming out later this year. My editor asked for a better headline. The original didn’t pop, she said.

Knowing what I know, I first created a story where the perfect headline would come to me. Old habits are just that though, so moments later, I was scribbling several ideas on my note app, trying to coax a good idea for a headline. I was doing life the old way instead of using the power of stories.

Essay Titles I created while putting effort into it, instead of using the power of stories.

Trying to make something happen is the hard way. And it felt hard. So I wrote back to my editor. I told her I’d get back to her. Take some time, She wrote back.

Days later, I created a new story wherein I received what I asked for: a wonderful headline, one my editor would love. One that would pop.

A couple days after that, I re-read my essay. It’s so good. It’s a true story about an adventure a Transamorous Network client and I experienced. My client is a transgender woman. The essay describes how she created stories that allowed her to get several amazing things she wanted in her life.

While reading my essay “Life IS Joy” popped out. I sent that to my editor, even though I didn’t like it all that much.

My feeble attempt. 

That “not liking it all that much” was a clue…a clue I missed.

My editor didn’t like it either, which figured. Her dislike reflected my own. Reality will show you what your stories are, often through other people’s behavior.

My editor suggested something catchier, something with a play on words:

Not so good response…

Nothing came up when I focused, so I just let go. I figured Universe would bring me a perfect headline.

That’s what happened…

Last night I watched a favorite James Bond movie for the umpteenth time. A Quantum of Solace it’s called. I enjoyed watching it. I enjoy luxuries Bond enjoys surrounding himself in. People in the movie are pleasant to watch too. 😊

Then I went to bed, blissful in positive focus.

The next morning (the day I’m writing this), the phrase “A Universal Solace” came to mind. My immediate reaction was: hey that’s kinda good. Then I poo-pooed it as too obvious a play on “Quantum of Solace”.

But then I thought “wait a minute! This is what I asked for!”

Tentatively, I looked up the word “Solace”. It perfectly fit what happens in the essay. The main character discovers comfort and love through telling stories which create several realities she wants.

So “A Universal Solace” came into my reality exactly as my stories foretold: easily, with no effort!

I sent the new headline to my editor. Here’s what she said.

Booyaaah!

To recap: I wanted a great headline and knew I’d get one relying on stories I created. But then old habits asserted themselves. I tried doing it on my own. I noticed how hard it was trying to do that, then trusted my feelings instead. I trusted my stories would create the reality I wanted, and that’s exactly what happened.

What happened next: even better

Weeks ago I got an impulse that my essay could become a full-length book and/or a movie. I wanted to send my editor a note about that, but held off.

After getting her email above, I sent her two more emails, one replying to her acknowledging the new headline:

and another offering to work together on more projects:

Here’s what she wrote back:

Universe stands ready to do the work for you.

I marvel at this because I love writing. I always have. I love telling stories through various ways; through illustrations, film/video, through speeches and presentations and of course through words.

My life as a story is worthy of being told. And here is my editor urging me in this direction, just as an angel of the Universe would.

This path unfolding before me, filled with so much of what I’m wanting, feels ecstatic. All of it is unfolding aligned with talents and passions I already have, not something I learned in school, but something inherently me.

It’s all coming from my inner knowing, tied to my authentic self. I tell my clients their authenticity is from where their prosperity and joy emerges. My life offers living proof, not only for me, but for my clients too. Universe loves me.

It loves you too. Just as you are.

 
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Transgender Diversity Dominates

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Fascination grows in me the more I work with trans and trans-attracted people. There’s no such thing as homogeneity anywhere. That includes trans and trans-attracted populations.

Not all transgender women, for example, believe an “inner female is struggling to get out” of me. I get how a trans person might feel that way. What I’m seeing though tells me that statement says more about how the speaker sees the world than it describes what’s happening.

I’m realizing there is no “male” or “female”. There’s just what is. I wonder if, when a trans woman says something like “I feel like a woman”, what that really is is a statement approximating what they feel, compared to what they see. They see people they resonate with, who appear “female”, so they conclude that’s what they are.

Transgender dissonance

I attended a discussion group at my local Q center. Some transgender attendees confided their bafflement over how out-of-place they felt in their transitioned gender. Both transgender men AND trans women in this group described how different cis-men and women were from them.

The speakers found it difficult relating to dynamics within and among these groups, indicating perhaps that the speakers were not “male” or “female” as they thought they were, but instead were something different. Something more.

Three experiences, two with clients and another with someone I spoke on the phone yesterday adds more complexity.

My first client enjoys creating a future in which he expresses a wonderful gender blend. He relishes expressing combinations representing traditional “male” and “female” social markers: breasts, a peak-toned, muscular, yet slender physique, hairless scalp, eyeliner, and a delicate frilly blouse and skirt. He will pull it off too. He looks good. This client rejects the idea of “a woman trapped in a man’s body” he hears so much among transgender women he hangs with. He feels being trans is more than that.

I agree.

The other client clearly expresses feminine traits, yet she rejects her developing breasts. In her best moments, she relishes her expression somewhere between “male” and “female” too. She’s impatient to have her Adam’s apple reduced, but likes other features marking her as “male”. Her authenticity conflicts with her dating stories: she believes most men look for “women”. They’re not interested, she believes, in someone somewhere in the middle of the spectrum.

I totally disagree, of course. Matches exist for every expression.

so, upheld how diverse “transgender” really is. He knows himself as trans, yet doesn’t dress en femme as much as he wears “men’s” clothes. He is calm with where he is. Not a single transitionary step piqued his interest yet. And while he enjoys attention and conversation with trans-attracted men, he doesn’t enjoy anal sex. That’s quite a perspective.

More are on the way

An intuitive hit tells me our age now allows all kinds of expressions, especially when it comes to presenting gender and orientation, but not only that. Social churn we’re seeing today I believe stems from humanity growing through greater clarity. It knows there’s more to what we as humans allowed in the past. More diversity, not less, is on the way. In that, there’s not only no binary, there’s no right way.

I think about the person I talked with on the phone. I thought how he will meet men who will find attractive his desire to present sometimes as male, sometimes as a woman. A match exists for everyone.

That conversation prompted this post. He said, it’s hard finding people to befriend, even though he lives in Los Angeles, a Mecca of sorts for LGBT people. He said he feels uncomfortable and alone because he doesn’t see anyone like him: people who share his perspective, his unique expression focus.

Trans is a leading edge

Perhaps that’s because he’s here to lead the way? What if by virtue of living his authentic life, he made space for others to do the same?

Maybe the one reason this guy sees no examples of who he feels he is is because society is only just now opening its eyes to humanity’s authentic expression: it’s never been about “male” and “female”.

So while a lot of people rail over and push against society about how “trans women are WOMEN”, that doesn’t even begin to tell the whole story.

Trans people are divine, eternal beings. Like all people, they can’t be put in ANY kind of box.

Let them be free. If you’re trans or trans-attracted free yourself. “Gay or straight” is a box. “Trans women are women” is a box. No matter how comfortable one may feel it.

Free yourself and watch how great diversity that is you shines, and in that shining you’ll shape humanity to more truly reflect All That Is. Doing that you’ll not only find freedom, you’ll find joy too.

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Letters@The Transamorous Network

Editor’s note: In this series, we’ll highlight conversations with our readers/viewers. We think folks will benefit from these conversations. All names are made up to protect everyone’s privacy:

I confess that I’m a bit confused about how your service works. I am an older, respectful gentleman who has found that trans women have a strong personal appeal for a range of reasons. I live near NYC and hope to build a relationship, but can’t envision that any daily life instruction would assist me in meeting a prospective partner, but I’m open to hearing more.

Thank you.

Jeff

Hi Jeff,

What we offer is out of the norm. So people don’t understand what we offer because they are trying to understand it from comparing it to things they know….

We offer a way that connects you with your ideal partner, with no ambiguity or chance of failure. If you’ve read our blog or watched our shows, you know we talk a lot about “stories” – beliefs each person holds – and how those stories shape life experience. Inevitably people have stories that determine what they expect. What they expect then determines what happens in their life. 

If you examine the thoughts and beliefs of trans-attracted men and trans women, you’ll find many stories that make it hard for quality members of each group to find quality members of the other group. Instead, what usually happens is, matches that happen reflect beliefs each group has about the other.

For example, a transgender woman who believes no man will want to be with her and also harbors beliefs that make her feel insecure will only meet men who themselves are insecure and want her only for sex.

We work with our clients through weekly conversations to expose such stories . Then we show the client how to tell stories consistent with experiences they’re wanting to have. In that way, they become a “match” to those desired experiences. Including meeting their ideal match.

So we offer weekly instruction (not daily) wherein we show clients how to create experiences they want, including meeting ideal mates. That’s our “match-making” process.

Let us know if you have any questions Jeff.

TTN

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Trans And Trans-Attracted People Are World Leaders

A transgender woman shared words of wisdom I impart to my clients around the world. Her words tell what so many trans and trans-attracted people miss about themselves, their relationship to others and the world around them.

While talking about the future, why we met, how we met and more, Jennifer (not her real name) said the following:

Another way to see [life as it is now] is [as] the great split in humanity seeking toward transcendence. One side via spirituality and the other side via science and technology. One side more spiritual/consciousness based and the other more materialist based. They are both seeking… the same thing in many areas. Both profoundly human. In a way the materialist/technological is how the spirit is made flesh – how it is made manifest even to those that can’t see or even want to deal with the spiritual side at this time. I think the two great arms of human yearning/seeking complete and fulfill each other. I think that is one reason I am here – to point to why that is so and some hints as to how to do it. Another bridging.

Just before writing this post I shared similar, destiny-type guidance to a client struggling between their desire to express their non-binary, GenderFuck nature, and stories about their desire that turn their desire into a fetish – something perverse, taboo and scary.

I had a lot to say:

Every trans person (and trans-attracted person) comes into the world with specific, core desires. Every one of these should conjure joy, ecstasy and well-being. Unlike my clients, many don’t get the joy, ecstasy and well-being of their desires.

Instead, they get anguish, frustration, confusion, shame and embarrassment. They get stuck in disempowering stories. Then those stories create realities consistent with themselves. Before they know it, their lives suck.

Since they don’t know what I share with my clients, these people think their reality is objectively real, separate and from themselves. They don’t know they create their reality.

So they point to their reality and blame it for how they feel, not knowing how they feel points to real culprit: their stories.

Jennifer stands out from this crowd. She mostly gets who she is. She’s moving in directions that will change lives for the better, by putting herself out there in the world as the person she knew she came into the world to express. That doesn’t make Jennifer perfect. But it does make her aware of something powerful: her ability to impact the world.

My client sees that opportunity too. Showing them that ecstasy they feel when they feel their breasts growing, or when they put on a dress tells them they are on their path.

All they have to do now is trust their feelings and keep moving forward. Then they will see what’s available to all trans and trans-attracted people: a life of continually increasing joy and….realization that they improve the world in their own unique way by being their authentic selves.

The world benefits with them in the world, just as it benefits with you in the world.

Live your authentic life, change the world. How? Tell stories consistent with your joy. Then watch what happens.

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Letters@The Transamorous Network

Editor’s note: In this series, we’ll highlight conversations with our readers/viewers. We think folks will benefit from these conversations. All names are made up to protect everyone’s privacy:

Good afternoon, I’m really looking for some advice and I’ve stumbled across your site whilst searching. I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly a year and have just discovered his desire for trans women, lots of porn, messages to trans women telling her how she’s his dream woman etc etc. I’ve spoken openly to him about it but he says it’s nothing but attention. My head is all over the place and I’m just looking for some kind of advice. Me and my boys all adore him xx

Thank you.

Sienna

Hi Sienna,

Thanks for writing. Many men have a passing interest in trans women, more of a sexual interest spurred by porn fixation and algorithms (embedded in porn websites) which can “turn up the volume” on the titilation factor they offer. You can start watching straight porn, for example, and, over time find yourself watching all kinds of intense stuff!

So it can be nothing other than that. A passing interest.

However…you also say he has contacted trans women and had conversations? That might be a different thing.

You wrote in your comment that after speaking to your boyfriend about this he said it’s nothing but “attention”. Did he really say “attention”? Or is that a typo? If it is, what did he really say?

Before giving advice, we want to know where you are about this. Your head is all over the place, you say, but how do you feel about HIM? What do you want in a relationship? You’ve been with him for almost a year. We know that may feel like a lot of time, but really, it’s not. And how did you discover his desire? And how was the conversation in which you spoke openly to him? Was it calm? Were you angry? Was he?

Thanks for answering our questions. We can better assist after receiving your answers. 
TTN

Hello,

Thank you so much for replying to me. I first discovered a picture of him pleasuring himself sent to a trans woman, he had a drink and passed out leaving this picture very visible on his phone. When I questioned him he said he wasn’t aware it was a trans woman.

We separated, then had a chat and I thought everything was ok.

But then I then found a conversation via email between him and a trans woman. I can send everything I’ve found to you so you can see if you like? 

When I spoke to him I was very understanding. Having many gay, trans friends I’m quite an open easy person and I told him he should just be happy and if he wanted to be in a same sex relationship then I will understand and we can part ways.

He said his ex girlfriend set certain profiles up and he was being contacted and enjoyed the attention. He has said he has never engaged in sexual contact but has enjoyed watching porn etc and he doesn’t know why. But he wants to be with me and he will spend his life proving that. However the things I’ve seen has me really confused more than anything x 

Hi Sienna. You’re welcome. Thanks for the further details. We don’t need to see what you found. Thanks for the offer.

It’s good to hear you’re very understanding. That’s a great place to start. Just so you know, a “same sex relationship” is a confusing phrase enforced by science and common misperceptions. Because of that, that phrase can make it very hard for your boyfriend to honestly figure himself out. There’s lots to talk about there if you want to explore that more.

You two aren’t married but it sounds like you care for him a lot and that he cares for you. We have a client who knew he was trans attracted when he met who ultimately became his fiancé, then his wife. He knew he had strong attraction to trans women, but he didn’t tell his fiancé, then wife. Why didn’t he? Because he didn’t want to lose her.

Ten years later, he had to face his desires because the trans woman he was seeing outside his marriage outed him on social media.

The point of that brief story is, there’s no sure way for us to know what’s going on with your boyfriend. We’ve seen situations like these before, but that doesn’t mean this is that. But you know what’s going on with you and what you want. You also have a hunch, a sixth sense, an intuition that’s forming within you. We show our clients how to use that to get lives they love, including relationships that work.

We suggest you follow what you feel.

As much as you care about him and enjoy your relationship, you must choose what you want to do, then do that. You can stay with him and see where this goes with your eyes open as you now know something’s up. Or you can end it now.

But what’s the harm seeing where it goes? If you care about him and you mostly enjoy the relationship, is there a reason you must figure this out right this moment? Or can you relax and watch as your boyfriend grows?

You can enjoy your love for your boyfriend and at the same time help him come into clarity about who he is. In the process, you might learn some things about yourself.

TTN