Tips For Finding Love And Acceptance In The Trans Community. Starting With The Men.
Anita Noelle Green in our latest interview talks about coming out as trans and her mother’s wonderful reaction. Our full two-part interview with Anita Noelle Green is coming soon. Be sure to subscribe to our channel to get notified of future shows as they drop!
I love their variety…
I love stories I think while sleeping, which creates grandiose dreams, dazzling in their plenitude and vividness…
I love knowing they come to me according to my focus…
Meaning the better-feeling my stories the higher connection I must be in.
I like when stories I tell while sleeping indicate where I am relative to fulfilling desires.
I love feeling how good my stories feel.
I love how they bring smiles to my face. Like eating a fresh hot bowl of buttered popcorn.
I delight in my stories.
And because my stories create my reality, I know my life experience is unfolding right along the path packed with my fulfilled desires.
At The Transamorous Network we talk about stories – beliefs a person holds – creating reality. Today I’ll share what happened recently that shows how stories work. Once a person learns how to tell positive stories, that person discovers they are blessed by Universe, because Universe fulfills all stories, whether wanted or not.
I wrote an essay for a LGBTQ anthology coming out later this year. My editor asked for a better headline. The original didn’t pop, she said.
Knowing what I know, I first created a story where the perfect headline would come to me. Old habits are just that though, so moments later, I was scribbling several ideas on my note app, trying to coax a good idea for a headline. I was doing life the old way instead of using the power of stories.
Trying to make something happen is the hard way. And it felt hard. So I wrote back to my editor. I told her I’d get back to her. Take some time, She wrote back.
Days later, I created a new story wherein I received what I asked for: a wonderful headline, one my editor would love. One that would pop.
A couple days after that, I re-read my essay. It’s so good. It’s a true story about an adventure a Transamorous Network client and I experienced. My client is a transgender woman. The essay describes how she created stories that allowed her to get several amazing things she wanted in her life.
While reading my essay “Life IS Joy” popped out. I sent that to my editor, even though I didn’t like it all that much.
That “not liking it all that much” was a clue…a clue I missed.
My editor didn’t like it either, which figured. Her dislike reflected my own. Reality will show you what your stories are, often through other people’s behavior.
My editor suggested something catchier, something with a play on words:
Nothing came up when I focused, so I just let go. I figured Universe would bring me a perfect headline.
Last night I watched a favorite James Bond movie for the umpteenth time. A Quantum of Solace it’s called. I enjoyed watching it. I enjoy luxuries Bond enjoys surrounding himself in. People in the movie are pleasant to watch too. 
Then I went to bed, blissful in positive focus.
The next morning (the day I’m writing this), the phrase “A Universal Solace” came to mind. My immediate reaction was: hey that’s kinda good. Then I poo-pooed it as too obvious a play on “Quantum of Solace”.
But then I thought “wait a minute! This is what I asked for!”
Tentatively, I looked up the word “Solace”. It perfectly fit what happens in the essay. The main character discovers comfort and love through telling stories which create several realities she wants.
So “A Universal Solace” came into my reality exactly as my stories foretold: easily, with no effort!
I sent the new headline to my editor. Here’s what she said.
To recap: I wanted a great headline and knew I’d get one relying on stories I created. But then old habits asserted themselves. I tried doing it on my own. I noticed how hard it was trying to do that, then trusted my feelings instead. I trusted my stories would create the reality I wanted, and that’s exactly what happened.
Weeks ago I got an impulse that my essay could become a full-length book and/or a movie. I wanted to send my editor a note about that, but held off.
After getting her email above, I sent her two more emails, one replying to her acknowledging the new headline:
and another offering to work together on more projects:
Here’s what she wrote back:
I marvel at this because I love writing. I always have. I love telling stories through various ways; through illustrations, film/video, through speeches and presentations and of course through words.
My life as a story is worthy of being told. And here is my editor urging me in this direction, just as an angel of the Universe would.
This path unfolding before me, filled with so much of what I’m wanting, feels ecstatic. All of it is unfolding aligned with talents and passions I already have, not something I learned in school, but something inherently me.
It’s all coming from my inner knowing, tied to my authentic self. I tell my clients their authenticity is from where their prosperity and joy emerges. My life offers living proof, not only for me, but for my clients too. Universe loves me.
It loves you too. Just as you are.
Fascination grows in me the more I work with trans and trans-attracted people. There’s no such thing as homogeneity anywhere. That includes trans and trans-attracted populations.
Not all transgender women, for example, believe an “inner female is struggling to get out” of me. I get how a trans person might feel that way. What I’m seeing though tells me that statement says more about how the speaker sees the world than it describes what’s happening.
I’m realizing there is no “male” or “female”. There’s just what is. I wonder if, when a trans woman says something like “I feel like a woman”, what that really is is a statement approximating what they feel, compared to what they see. They see people they resonate with, who appear “female”, so they conclude that’s what they are.
I attended a discussion group at my local Q center. Some transgender attendees confided their bafflement over how out-of-place they felt in their transitioned gender. Both transgender men AND trans women in this group described how different cis-men and women were from them.
The speakers found it difficult relating to dynamics within and among these groups, indicating perhaps that the speakers were not “male” or “female” as they thought they were, but instead were something different. Something more.
Three experiences, two with clients and another with someone I spoke on the phone yesterday adds more complexity.
My first client enjoys creating a future in which he expresses a wonderful gender blend. He relishes expressing combinations representing traditional “male” and “female” social markers: breasts, a peak-toned, muscular, yet slender physique, hairless scalp, eyeliner, and a delicate frilly blouse and skirt. He will pull it off too. He looks good. This client rejects the idea of “a woman trapped in a man’s body” he hears so much among transgender women he hangs with. He feels being trans is more than that.
I agree.
The other client clearly expresses feminine traits, yet she rejects her developing breasts. In her best moments, she relishes her expression somewhere between “male” and “female” too. She’s impatient to have her Adam’s apple reduced, but likes other features marking her as “male”. Her authenticity conflicts with her dating stories: she believes most men look for “women”. They’re not interested, she believes, in someone somewhere in the middle of the spectrum.
I totally disagree, of course. Matches exist for every expression.
so, upheld how diverse “transgender” really is. He knows himself as trans, yet doesn’t dress en femme as much as he wears “men’s” clothes. He is calm with where he is. Not a single transitionary step piqued his interest yet. And while he enjoys attention and conversation with trans-attracted men, he doesn’t enjoy anal sex. That’s quite a perspective.
An intuitive hit tells me our age now allows all kinds of expressions, especially when it comes to presenting gender and orientation, but not only that. Social churn we’re seeing today I believe stems from humanity growing through greater clarity. It knows there’s more to what we as humans allowed in the past. More diversity, not less, is on the way. In that, there’s not only no binary, there’s no right way.
I think about the person I talked with on the phone. I thought how he will meet men who will find attractive his desire to present sometimes as male, sometimes as a woman. A match exists for everyone.
That conversation prompted this post. He said, it’s hard finding people to befriend, even though he lives in Los Angeles, a Mecca of sorts for LGBT people. He said he feels uncomfortable and alone because he doesn’t see anyone like him: people who share his perspective, his unique expression focus.
Perhaps that’s because he’s here to lead the way? What if by virtue of living his authentic life, he made space for others to do the same?
Maybe the one reason this guy sees no examples of who he feels he is is because society is only just now opening its eyes to humanity’s authentic expression: it’s never been about “male” and “female”.
So while a lot of people rail over and push against society about how “trans women are WOMEN”, that doesn’t even begin to tell the whole story.
Trans people are divine, eternal beings. Like all people, they can’t be put in ANY kind of box.
Let them be free. If you’re trans or trans-attracted free yourself. “Gay or straight” is a box. “Trans women are women” is a box. No matter how comfortable one may feel it.
Free yourself and watch how great diversity that is you shines, and in that shining you’ll shape humanity to more truly reflect All That Is. Doing that you’ll not only find freedom, you’ll find joy too.
Editor’s note: In this series, we’ll highlight conversations with our readers/viewers. We think folks will benefit from these conversations. All names are made up to protect everyone’s privacy:
I confess that I’m a bit confused about how your service works. I am an older, respectful gentleman who has found that trans women have a strong personal appeal for a range of reasons. I live near NYC and hope to build a relationship, but can’t envision that any daily life instruction would assist me in meeting a prospective partner, but I’m open to hearing more.
Thank you.
Jeff
Hi Jeff,
What we offer is out of the norm. So people don’t understand what we offer because they are trying to understand it from comparing it to things they know….
We offer a way that connects you with your ideal partner, with no ambiguity or chance of failure. If you’ve read our blog or watched our shows, you know we talk a lot about “stories” – beliefs each person holds – and how those stories shape life experience. Inevitably people have stories that determine what they expect. What they expect then determines what happens in their life.
If you examine the thoughts and beliefs of trans-attracted men and trans women, you’ll find many stories that make it hard for quality members of each group to find quality members of the other group. Instead, what usually happens is, matches that happen reflect beliefs each group has about the other.
For example, a transgender woman who believes no man will want to be with her and also harbors beliefs that make her feel insecure will only meet men who themselves are insecure and want her only for sex.
We work with our clients through weekly conversations to expose such stories . Then we show the client how to tell stories consistent with experiences they’re wanting to have. In that way, they become a “match” to those desired experiences. Including meeting their ideal match.
So we offer weekly instruction (not daily) wherein we show clients how to create experiences they want, including meeting ideal mates. That’s our “match-making” process.
Let us know if you have any questions Jeff.
TTN
