Frustration sometimes happens when I think I’m not getting what I want. It’s frustrating only because I’m telling myself a false story: that I’m not getting what I want. I know many transgender women and trans-attracted men feel similarly.
But that’s not how reality gets created. I create reality by my attention, not by what I want. So to get what I want, I must put my attention on that.
Or, I can focus on what it feels like having what I want – even when I don’t have it – and through putting attention there, gradually tune my stories to what I want. Doing that I see what I want coming easily.
Proof tells me it’s working
Many things happened showing this working. More clients showing up, publishing deals happening, money coming into my life without me having to do anything to get it, and, yes, trans women showing up too.
I’m wanting my ideal match though, so focusing on becoming more of a match to her – that’s my primary focus as far as relationships go.
Some wonder why I don’t have a partner. Since I say this work works, shouldn’t I be in a relationship?
The answer is: I’m not in a hurry. Fine tuning my life, my way of being and my stories so I match my perfect partner – that’s my goal. Not just being in a relationship. Besides, so much fun in my life happens these days, I don’t miss her.
Power lies in that perspective. Why is that?
Because in not missing her, I’m not telling stories focusing on her absence. Knowing that makes a huge difference.
Moving through to love, joy fun
In knowing that, when moments of frustration or impatience arrive, I realize frustration and impatience helps me get what I want. They tell me where I’m putting my attention. Not knowing that, I keep getting what’s frustrating me.
Trans-attracted men suffer from frustration, impatience and sometimes even anger over not getting what they want all the time. The way out is recognizing what those emotions say, then doing something about it.
Do that, and love, joy, fun, happiness – everything we’re wanting – comes easily. And when we’re matches to love, joy, fun and happiness, then the lover we want – who also is loving, joyful and happy – must come too.
Any transgender or trans-attracted person can live life with all their desires fulfilling themselves. No exceptions. Transamorous Network Clients know living that life requires attending to what creates life experience: one’s stories.
The good news: once someone examines their stories, while telling better-feeling ones instead of those they tell by default, evidence is immediately apparent. In other words, proof shows up right away, proving that telling positive stories works. You just need to know how to see the evidence.
In this video, long-term client Nadia describes what her life is like now after consistently telling stories that feel good. Listen her testimony. Listen how confident she is, how lightly she describes changes she’s made, just by telling positive stories.
You can have this life too. No matter how much your life might suck today, no matter how good your life is now, it can get better. And it’s easy getting there by working with the one thing creating your life experience. That’s the stories you tell.
There’s so much to being transgender or trans-attracted. Both perspectives change worlds. Both bring so much value, I wonder why so many transgender women struggle emotionally, in relationships and life in general. I wonder too why so many trans-attracted men live in shame and embarrassment.
Then I remember how once I lived the same way. That’s why I started The Transamorous Network. It’s here to free trans-attracted men, primarily, and transgender women, so they can live lives they came to live: free of guilt and shame, happy lives where not only they get the love they want, they get everything else they want too.
That’s all out of reach if people in both groups don’t feel worthy. By worthy I mean feeling they deserve everything they want. It’s hard feeling that way though when life shows someone they aren’t getting everything they want.
But that’s why I created The Transamorous Network. Because everyone creates their experience. They may not get what they want now, but because they create their experience – through stories they tell – getting what they want is as easy as getting what they are getting now: what they don’t want.
It works both ways
Feeling worthy while not believing one is worthy isn’t possible. Coming into one’s worthiness happens naturally though when one starts learning how stories create reality, then applying what they learn in their daily life.
Before they know it, life starts showing them how accurate “your stories create your reality” is. The more evidence shows up, one not only feels more empowered, they want more evidence.
Why?
Because getting what one want’s feels so good, especially when one hasn’t been getting what they want for so long, the person just wants more.
In time, so much evidence piles up, a person no longer thinks about “your stories create reality”. It’s just “truth” to them. Just like for many transgender women “all men are chasers” occurs as “truth”.
Feeling worthy is easy
In time, worthiness wells up. When that happens, feeling worthy is easy. Evidence makes it easy. Evidence draws worthiness from within the person. Worthiness is always there. For many transgender and trans-attracted people, their worthiness gets covered up by negative stories.
Worthiness then feels like UN-worthiness.
Finding worthiness allows plenty, including plenty of partners and mates, plenty of money, plenty of everything. And when a person gets to having all that, they naturally express that worthiness in ways that change the world around them.
Everyone is worthy. That includes transgender and trans-attracted people. We come into the world to shape new worlds. The joy of shaping worlds happens when we embrace our worthiness. Our worthiness comes from knowing we create our reality through stories we tell.
Until we make that connection though, new worlds still happen. It’s just not as fun.
Sex is fun. Sex is more fun when you love yourself. Telling positive stories creates self-love that knows no bounds. In such stories, sex, even solo-sex, leaves knees weak, and libido highly satisfied.
My best sex ever happens when I’m by myself. Although I’m not by myself. My Broader Perspective is with me loving me as I love myself. When I have sex with myself, my entire Personal Trinity is there too. So it’s really an orgy 😂. An orgy of ecstasy.
The last time I had sex with myself, it left me weak-kneed for hours. The passion, the joy, the LOVE was so abundant…sex with others just can’t compare.
It seems weird that our society considers self-pleasure sinful or weird or even secondary to giving one’s self to another. Sometimes we give ourselves hastily in casual situations, as if giving ourselves is the means to the sexual release end.
We miss so much when we do that!
I used to think sex wasn’t sex if it happened alone. I used to call sex alone “masturbation”…a very unsexy word if you ask me. Where’s the romance in “masturbation”?
“Masturbation”: society says: “Don’t touch that!” They’re wrong. Touch it! (Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash)
In my experience, joy of sex is off the charts when performed solo. That’s because, in telling positive stories, I’ve come to love my self.
My self-love knows no bounds. Why wouldn’t I be at the top of my list of people I want to have sex with? What’s more, knowing what I know, with weak-in-the-knees solo-sexual experiences part of my life now, why would I share myself with someone I hardly know, someone who likely is nowhere near as connected to themself as I am to me?
The tyranny of no connection
I get how desperation leads people to fucking almost anyone. So many people have no real connection with another. It’s rarer still that a person has a deep, real connection with themselves. Desperate to find connection, they look for it through the penis or vagina or other body parts of another, rather than finding the only source of unconditional, unbridled and ecstatic connection: with themselves.
It’s no surprise when sex amounts to “getting one’s rocks off”, or when sex gets stale after having sex with the same person over and over. Even someone you really (think you) love.
I’ve been there. I’ve done that.
And there I usually felt post-orgasm dissatisfaction. The more causal the experience, the more unsatisfying it was after the fact. It was fun during. But the aftermath…well, it was aftermath.
Now I know better.
Casual sex with no connection gives momentary pleasure, but connection is better. Especially self-connection. (Photo by We-Vibe WOW Tech on Unsplash)
Fully accepting me and feeling good
Loving me means knowing me and accepting me. That means knowing and accepting what I like. I enjoy what I enjoy and the more I do it, and accept that I’m doing it and enjoying it, the more joy I get from it.
So many stories out there say what feels good is bad. It’s the opposite people!
What’s good is good. What’s good leads you to more good. Follow that good-trail and before you know it, you’re in bliss…in bed, by yourself, yes, but also out in the world. Here’s the fringe bennie: when you’re chronically in bliss, you can’t help but meet blissful people. All those assholes? They can’t find you!
A client describes how being blissful causes old beliefs creating old realities to pale in comparison.
It’s deliciously mind-blowing
Accepting me happened over many years. Telling positive stories helped a lot. I’m glad I’m here, loving myself in bed and while moving through my day. Nothing compares to that. No one else’s attention matters more to me than attention I pay to myself.
And in that selfishness, I discover doing things I want to do, having things I want to have and being happy…all come easily. Joyful ecstasy of the Blissful Life. It’s available to everyone. And it will make anyone weak in the knees.
A common experience among newer Transamorous Network clients is “split energy”. Here’s why resolving split energy is not only important, it can be a joyful process and create a life worth loving.
But first, let’s look at what split energy is, why it happens and why so many transgender and trans-attracted people don’t know about split energy and thus struggle with it.
What is split energy?
Split energy happens when belief and desire conflict with one another. It can also happen when a person stands in two different, opposite stories at the same time.
For example, a trans-attracted man might want a transwoman as a partner. That’s a story creating certain desires and impulses. But that same man might have a story saying transgender women are actually men, or, that being attracted to transgender women makes him gay.
He might also believe (a belief is a story) that giving up his marriage (to a cisgender woman) in order to be with a transgender woman would be too great a burden to bear.
Split energy means having a foot in two different story camps, or telling stories that conflict with desires. Split energy often feels like confusion, uncertainty and anxiety. (Photo by Sherise VD on Unsplash)
One client, for example, believes transgender women are not serious about having a serious monogamous relationship, so he only meets transgender women matching that story. Meanwhile, he believes his wife can’t live without him and if he divorces her, she’ll fall apart. It’s no wonder he feels anxiety, stress and indecision about his trans-attraction, born of split energies of wanting a transgender woman, believing they’re just fantasies, and needing to stay with his wife.
Those examples show how a man might have split energy. What split energy might a transgender woman have?
She might have a story that she wants to be with a man, yet believes all men who desire her are perverts, scum, or “chasers”. Or she might have the story that she can’t get a job because she’s trans, but also wants a job. So the men she meets are perverts and scum, and she remains unemployed, struggling and alone.
It should be obvious split energy also happens when someone has a desire they don’t believe is fulfillable. They don’t think their desire can happen. Desire existing alongside disbelief creates split energy too.
Why it’s a struggle
Many people struggle with split energy while not knowing they’re struggling. They think negative emotions indicating split energy – confusion, feeling uncertain, anxiety, insecurity and more – are just part of life.
But life is supposed to be fun, easy and filled with desires that fulfill themselves. Actually, that’s what’s happening all the time, even for someone with split energy.
But a person with split energy creates over and over, the reality containing and reflecting back to them, the combination of their split energy. That’s why nothing seems to change for the person, or why things change, but often stay the same or get worse.
In other words, life SUCKS when split energy dominates.
It’s more common than you think
Many popular communities generate split energy situations. Religions are a major culprit. Religions as sometimes practiced, contradict beliefs that are normal, wholesome and good. But some people in these organizations, especially trans-attracted and transgender people, but not only such people, create split energy when their natural, normal, wholesome desires contradict religious doctrine.
My clients who are Christian or Jewish struggle with stories taken from their religion. Their religious upbringing keeps them feeling unworthy, fearful, in shame, and in self reproach because religious teachings do not allow or agree that certain desires are natural, normal, wholesome and good.
A major source of split energy are religions combined with an authentic self at odds with religious doctrine. (Photo by Dejan Livančić on Unsplash)
I know some people practicing religion-inspired beliefs do not have that experience. I’m not saying that religion is bad across-the-board. So if you are a believer, a Christian or a Jew, and you’re happy, then enjoy your happy life. 😌
People who do come to me seeking what I offer, who also have backgrounds in religion, struggle at first with split energy generated from their desires and their religious beliefs.
You are god in a human body
For example, it’s very difficult for a Christian or a Jew to believe they are God in a human body creating reality as they move through life.
It’s difficult for some Christians to accept that they can fulfill all their desires, especially desires Christianity tells them are sinful or bad or will send them to hell.
Clients brought up in religion literally have one foot in their religious beliefs, and another foot testing the waters of something they know holds promise. They want their desires, but their religion says their desires are “sinful”. That’s split energy born of conflicting stories.
My mentor adds a beautiful dimension to all this:
“Continuing to tell stories of [for example] shortage only continues to contradict your desire for abundance, and you cannot have it both ways: You cannot focus upon unwanted and receive wanted. You cannot focus upon stories about money that make you feel uncomfortable and allow into your experience what makes you feel comfortable. A different story will bring different results: My thoughts are the basis for the [fulfillment] of all things that I consider to be good, which includes enough money, and health, for my comfort and joy.”
– Abraham
Other split energy sources
Religion isn’t the only source that can create split energy. Beliefs adopted from one’s parents or one’s culture often create split energy.
One of my client’s parents, for example, raised her to believe a woman must serve her family to the exclusion of her own desires. She is a powerful woman and is embracing this new approach I offer. As a result she is moving quickly through soothing these old beliefs.
My client learns how good it feels focused on oneself. An example of how good it feels cleaning up split energy.
And yet she finds it fascinating how much her old beliefs cause resistance in her which feels like a “struggle” to her. Her old beliefs tell her serving her own selfish desires is bad and wrong. In fact, there’s no better way to be in service to others than when one selfishly pursues one’s desires.
Why selfishness is good
Putting both feet in the “taking care of me” camp results in maximum connection to one’s Broader Perspective, that part of us that knows everything we want, where it is and how to get it. And it is that maximum connection that allows all that one desires to flow effortlessly into one’s life experience, including impulses that, when followed, put you squarely in a fulfilling desire’s path.
“Taking care of me” creates a life experience of joyful exuberance. One sees life experience shaping to the new stories, morphing from the old one and becoming the source or the foundation of a blissful life.
The blissful life leads to self love. And when one loves oneself, it is simple, easy, and joyful loving others. And being selfish, you become the most generous person anyone knows.
Integrating one’s stories so they all reflect what one wants creates wonderful epiphanies, seemingly amazing coincidences. Clear indisputable manifestations are so convincing, you get that life is meant to be fun.
Joyful non-resistance
Split energy resits fulfilling desires. Releasing resistance by cleaning up split energy uncovers every human being’s natural joy. The more a person stands with both feet in that joy, the more blissful their life gets. All of my clients experience this to one degree or another.
The Universe stands ready to deliver to anyone a life consistent with their goodness, their worthiness, their natural connection to the joy of being.
Everyone experiences the joy of life. Bogus stories mask that experience. Split energy results. Cleaning that up starts with wanting to clean it up. The rest happens automatically.
