Self-love Acceptance - The Transamorous Network

November 30, 2021October 10, 2021

Am I Attracted To Transgender People?

Dear The Transamorous Network,

I’m Jay and I’ve been interested in your site for a while. The only thing is, I don’t know exactly where I fall in the whole transamorous thing. Because I can’t really say that I’m specifically into transgender women.

What I find is that I’m a straight man actually into clean shaven effeminate men who cross dress. Unlike trans-attracted men, I pretty much label what I have as a fetish. I compare it to men who are into dressing up in leather, but instead, I’m into gay guys that dress up in women’s clothing and wear makeup. I’ve know this since I was in my early 20’s and now I’m in my late 50’s. But I struggled with it because I was afraid that this made me gay. So I explored that just to see if it was the case and as hard as I tried, I was just not into men. Not into muscles, penises, bodily hair, masculine men, bears, twinks, etc. But an effeminate gay guy dressed in women’s clothing was a turn on.

In my 30’s I had the opportunity to be with 2 cross dressers and it was amazing. Neither evolved into sex, but there were numerous kissing sessions with both and I can say the level of sensuality was incomparable.

Here’s the twist. I’m married and have been for 20 years. But still, I have that part of me that still has this attraction, however I have no intention nor desire to act on it. My outlet is through cross dresser porn once in awhile. I will not venture past that because I refuse to cheat on my wife with a cross dresser or anyone else for that matter. So this feeling is something that will obviously not go away and it’s not hurting anyone so I’m just trying to accept it.

My reason I’m writing this is because I don’t know where I fit into the transamorous title. When I’m watching adult materials, I actually skip the transgender section and go straight to the cross dresser section of the gay site to find depictions of bottom cross dressers being intimate with top men. And again, the level of intimacy and chemistry that I enjoy is unmatchable. So I’m not sure if there are others who relate to this.

Lost in my sexuality

Howdie Lost!

There’s no need to label your interests. Especially no need labeling your interest as a “fetish”. Your interest is not “abnormal”. “Normal” gets us all into so much trouble. What’s normal is, the vast diversity of everything, including sexual and romantic interests as well as sexual and romantic expression. So just enjoy what you enjoy and be done with this.

Your interest as you describe it doesn’t fit in the category “Transamorous” though. Transamorous as defined by its creator (not me) means “someone who is romantically interested in transgender people.” You describe your interest as categorically not that.

Now, some cross dressers are likely somewhere along a trajectory leading toward perhaps some version of transitioning from male to female. That could make that person trans, even if they don’t recognize it in them yet, in the same way trans-attracted men would, strictly, be defined as “queer”. But again, who cares if your interest falls into whatever category?

What we offer, in terms of encouraging people towards what they want, towards greater self-appreciation, self-acceptance and self-love, applies equally to everyone. Not just transgender and trans-attracted people even though that’s our focus at The Transamorous Network. In other words, no reason exists justifying you feeling confused, bunged up or shameful about what you find attractive, arousing or alluring. Enjoy your experience for what it is: a unique expression of what you uniquely are.

So what that you’re married. You can be married and still enjoy your attraction. It would be better if your marriage partner knew this about you, of course. That could afford greater freedom of both expression and being. But I can understand if they (your marriage partner) don’t know and you wanting to keep them in the dark, as many marriages aren’t built so much on trust and honesty as they are on desire, security and social norms.

The whole “am I gay” story trips so many people up, you’d think it’s the only option to “straight”. But there are as many variations of human sexual and gender expression as there are people. I would encourage you to drop labels and attempts to categorize yourself and accept who you are as you are and know what you are is right…just as you are. Relief you might feel in that may open more doors to all kinds of pleasurable futures.

Life is meant as a fun experience. Make it so by telling stories consistent with that. Then watch how your life becomes fun, the way it’s meant to be.

TTN

Dear The Transamorous Network,

Wow…wow!

Thanks so much for this affirming and uplifting reply. This made my day! I’ve had this attraction for years and have always kept it as my private joy.

I must admit that there was a ton of “confusion” in regards to my orientation at first but I never felt that I was gay because the litmus test that I used was that I had no desire to “receive.” By that, I mean even though I had a major turn on for transvestites, I had no desire to give oral or receive anal from them. I suppose to put it in gay terms, I would be considered a top. And not that this means anything, but we like what we like.

In regards to sharing this with my wife, I’m still a bit shy about doing that. Although she is liberal, there are still some conservative resembling opinions that I’m sure would inhibit her from fully embracing that part of me. I also know that there are people who are fully aware of their spouses’ tastes, but they make it work. For example, I belong to an Atheist organization and met a woman at one of the conventions who was happily married to a man, yet she identified as bi-sexual. For her, it was enough to state that she is bi-sexual and she has no desire to cheat on her husband. Likewise, I can say that I have an insatiable attraction to transvestites, but it doesn’t mean that I am going out there to live out my fantasy. I was with a gay crossdresser years ago and while it was very intimate, we did not go the whole way. But for me, that memory is enough for me to cherish because without a doubt, it was one of the most sensual, intimate experiences of my life.

I think that what it boils down to is that we all like what we like and there’s nothing at wrong with it as long as no one is getting hurt or taken advantage of. I’m trying to embrace this more and more and your response has helped me tremendously already.

So thank you for your words of encouragement. You are very good at this and I’m sure that you’re helping a lot of men who are dealing with a lack of self-acceptance.

All my very best,

Lost, but now found

November 30, 2021June 19, 2022

What A Powerful, Happy Trans Woman Sounds Like [VIDEO]

Terryel (formerly Tiffany) kicks ass. Six months ago she began creating new stories for herself. As a result, her life is on fire. Everything she wants she gets: Men’s attention, opportunities to express her passions, clarity around her family and friends, and, of course, good sex.

Don’t take my word for it though. Listen to her tell her own story. Terryel shows how telling better-feeling stories creates new, better realities. Her new ways of interpreting experiences leave her empowered and joyful. Instead of self-judgment/self criticism, Terryel speaks lovingly and confidently about herself.

How many trans women speak like this?

Terryel’s confidence, joy and clarity inspire. I cracked up at her newfound sense of humor. I felt moved by her insights, insights everyone gets when they realize they create every situation they experience.

Transgender women: DL men needn’t leave you feeling like shit. Desperation and fear about ever feeling loved needn’t worry you. Your happiness depends on no external situation, or person.

Once you discover YOU create every experience, even with DL men, empowerment will rise from within you. One that happens, confidence, assertiveness and joy becomes your all day, every day. Then, and only then, can you say good bye to men who treat you poorly, or circumstances you prefer not to have.

All those things spring from within you too. Change your stories though, and, like Terryel here, you’ll uncover your freedom, your power and your joy. Then a life consistent with all that will be yours. Guaranteed.

November 16, 2021September 26, 2021

Trans Women: This One Thing Creates Happy Love

A transgender woman who discovered The Transamorous Network on Medium followed our content. Then, just a couple days later, stopped following us after a brief exchange with me.

She wasn’t happy hearing she creates her reality through stories she’s telling. Instead, she wants to blame men, society…anyone other than herself.

I get it.

It’s challenging getting what I share because it requires owning the indisputable fact that everyone creates experiences in their lives. But once it clicks and a person sees how their experiences stem from their stories, it all starts making sense.

Then life gets really fun. Because the only one who can effect your life experience is you. In other words: You and only you create your world. That’s powerful knowing.

It’s not easy for people to accept that they create lives they experience. But no on else does it and it’s certainly not random. But once someone sees how it happens, then takes control of that, life gets really fun. (Photo by Engin Akyurt on Unsplash)

Results a person gets on the way to getting what they’re after indicate what they believe about what they’re after. It’s great knowing that too.

Because armed with that knowledge, results help shape beliefs more aligned with what one wants. Deliberately using this process, seeing it work the way it does, makes life fun. It also makes getting what you want really easy.

Nearly all my clients come thinking they want what they want. But when we examine beliefs they have about what they want, and about other things related to that (and not related), they see how, actually, contrary their beliefs are to what they want.

Why people give up dreams

Putting it plain: everyone’s life springs from what they say, think and believe about life. No one experiences something not in accord with their beliefs. That’s accurate for finding lost keys, enjoying ideal careers, changing personal characteristics, having a political system that’s fair and just…and having love however that looks.

Nearly everyone thinks they think consistent with what they want. But I assure you if that were true, dating sites, for example, wouldn’t be a thing. The only reason so many of us humans give up on our dreams, including dream lovers, is because we don’t understand what we’re doing that squashes those dreams.

I share the below screen shots a lot. The reason why: they show to a “T” how transgender women (and trans-attracted men) squash their dream relationships:

A trans woman vigorously defending her limiting beliefs.

The same mistake over and over

The transgender women in those screen shots are doubling down on “evidence” they THINK tells them it’s the world “out there” creating circumstances that frustrate, confound and annoy them. It’s the men they meet, they say, who are to blame. Or it’s some other factor beyond their control.

In reality, it’s the doubling down on those beliefs that’s the problem. That’s why transgender women who say such things feel so bad when they say them.

They keep repeating the same mistake, rolling out all the evidence they think confirms what they think is the reason they can’t meet the man. They don’t realize that the reason they can’t meet the man is because they keep focusing on all the men they’ve met who have come and gone, men who are NOT the man, men who match and reflect stories they have – about themselves, about men, generally, about these men specifically, about dating, about what they want and whether they believe getting that is possible. These beliefs keep them from getting what they want.

The same thing is happening for trans-attracted men.

When you know what you’re really thinking, then your life gets easy. In the “easy” life gets fun too! (Photo by Simon Migaj on Unsplash)

Be the evidence

You just can’t get what you want when you’re telling stories all the time about what you don’t want. That’s what transwomen do when they say “I’ve been online dating for XX years and have contacted XX hundred men and…blah, blah, blah.”

Life doesn’t work that way.

My own life shows how accurate “the work” is. I write about my results every week on Positively Focused and here on The Transamorous Network. My life experience contains a ton of evidence how this works.

Don’t rely on evidence I produced though. Create your own. Be the evidence you want to see.

So it’s not about being “picky” about the men you want. It’s about what you think about the men you want, what you think about the men (or transgender women) you had, what you think about YOU.

What you think about what you think you deserve says a lot. How do you feel about being trans? That matters. How do you feel about life in general? That matters too.

Each of us comes into the world ready to create whatever life would thrill us. Transpeople especially.

Stories that have you feeling shame about yourself aren’t stories you wanna tell. They work against everything you’re wanting. (Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash)

You already knew this

But transpeople and trans-attracted people bring something more: an extraordinary ability to influence all of humanity. Because that which humanity comes from knows “trans”, as a phenomena, is a response to humanity wanting to know more about its potential.

But that “wanting to know” and the potential both are oppressed by bogus collective beliefs humans have about life, gender and a bunch of other things. You can see this by how resistant humans are to real progress and things that confront their beliefs.

Like many people, transgender people get kinda lost. They forget what I’m sharing with you although they knew it before they “incarnated”. Then they get insecure, begin thinking they’re unworthy, and in so doing, lose their influence.

Then they end up in various states of anxiety, frustration, worry, insecurity…the list goes on.

Some don’t stick around, chosing instead to pass back into nonphysical, the place from where they came, where we all come from, through what society calls “suicide”.

That is another bogus belief because every death is chosen, making all deaths suicides. Humans find that very hard to accept too. Just as some trans people can’t accept that they chose to be trans before incarnating and that choice was a magnificent one chosen by a powerful, world-changing, eternal being.

Everyone is SUPPOSED to have EVERYTHING they want. No exceptions. No one is keeping anything from anyone.

But if you’re struggling to find a partner, there is someone keeping that at bay. That someone is you and you alone.

November 9, 2021September 18, 2021

Please Don’t Cut Off Your Penis!

Editor’s note: In this series, we’ll highlight conversations with our readers/viewers. We think folks will benefit from these conversations. All names are made up to protect everyone’s privacy:

Hi,

I am a late transitioning trans woman. Before my GRS I was dating a tranny chaser who constantly verbally abused me for wanting to get GRS. He would scream at me to not get my penis removed. When I woke up from GRS, he was gone. That was early August 2020.

In January 2021, I met my current boyfriend. He was specifically interested in feminine, traditionally minded women – cis or trans – didn’t matter. We have been living together for several months now and he is nothing but wonderful to me. Great guys who don’t care whether or not you are trans do exist.

Somewhere In the US

Hi There Somewhere,

Isn’t it great when, when you get what you don’t want, it creates a strong desire in you for what you do want….and then, when you tell stories that match what you do want, you get that?

I think it’s great there are guys in the world who “don’t care whether or not you are trans”, just as there are guys out there who want a woman with a penis…and everything in between.

I’m sure you get a TON of validation from your current guy, right? Sure sounds like it. That’s so great.

If I were you, I’d stop telling the story of what happened in August 2020. Why repeatedly share something you didn’t enjoy? Then, I’d never stop telling the entire world about the guy you currently live with. That way, you’ll feel wonderful AND get more things you want.

By the way, using the phrase “tranny chaser” equates to calling a transgender woman “tranny”. Transgender women don’t like being called tranny. Trans-attracted Men struggling to find what they want in a partner struggle even more when those they find attractive describe them as “tranny chasers”. And if you think about it, that phrase denigrates you at the same time it denigrates him.

You probably know that, but likely think describing that guy that way makes sense because of how he treated you. But that phrase tells a story you really want to let go of…if you want a life you’ll love.

A match for everyone exists. No exceptions. Often, people find their match by “kissing a lot of frogs”. Every relationship though represents a stepping stone toward the one relationship everyone wants, the only relationship that matters, really. That relationship: the one each person has with themself.

Just as you got what you want, that guy from August 2020 will eventually get what he wants once he tells stories matching that.

Happy outcomes feel great. Enjoy the boyfriend you live with. Forget those who came before.

TTN

November 2, 2021September 11, 2021

Better Happy Stories Easily Cure Depression

Telling negative stories gives rise to all kinds of emotions. Emotions tell people crucial information. So I find it incredibly amazing hardly anyone understands why emotions exist. Especially the emotion “depression”.

Soon though more people will find out how important emotions are.

People struggle believing when I tell them their stories create their reality. Especially when they think about really bad things from their past. No one wants to know they own creating really bad past experiences. But everyone creates ALL their experiences. No one else. When a person understands how, then leverages that, freedom becomes theirs. Even freedom from depression.

Evidence surrounds us all

Evidence proving your stories create reality surrounds you. I assert that everyone wants to know how they can enjoy freedom and happiness. Everyone wants that lover, or that job, or that amount of money they think will make them happy. I find it humorous then when I tell someone how happiness happens, and the explanation goes over their head. Or they think I’m “mansplaining”, even though I’m nonbinary. 🤷🏽‍♂️

Knowing stories create your reality and leveraging that gives you all the happiness you can stand and then some. Such knowledge offers immense power and freedom. For if reality springs from stories, and it does, then you can create any reality you want.

Think about that: any reality you want exists. It can show up as your life. Learning how that happens turns “can show up as your life” to “is your life”. Doesn’t everyone want that? One would think!

A client sent me the following video. Hardly anyone would live without money these days, let alone in a cave like this guy does. But I’d wager everyone would enjoy freedom this guy experiences if giving up things money affords wasn’t necessary.

Negative stories cause depression

His life shows exactly how negative stories not only lead to depression, they also can lead to suicide. At 1:20, he shares how he started thinking negative thoughts about life and society. “Thoughts” and “stories” are the same thing. So he started telling negative stories about life.

In a short while, he went from feeling good about himself and life, into depression. His father thought his son’s concerns about his homosexuality had something to do with it. He said his son feared his family would disown him because of their Christian views. Negative stories about his homosexuality, his family and life in general all led him to suicidal thoughts.

Thankfully, though he thought about killing himself, he never did. Instead he changed his stories.

Now he lives, in his words, like birds. “Birds have no worries,” He says. “I’m employed by the Universe. Since everywhere I go is the Universe, I’m always secure.”

Not only does this guy now live secure, he also lives free. And gets everything he wants.

Free and getting everything one wants. Everyone can live this way.

Getting all you want

Hardly anyone wants to live in a cave and that’s “o-cave”.😊 But pretty much everyone want’s what they want. Not just freedom and fun and all the money they want, but also all the lovers they want. Even if that means just that one love someone pines for. Or that one love one believe does not exist.

But it does exist. So does everything everyone wants. So does everything YOU want. You just can’t see it. The only thing blocking your vision are stories you tell that create realities wherein what you want remains absent.

The video up there ⬆️⬆️⬆️ can inspire. It shows how life shapes to how you think.

So if you think no trans women live in your area, if you think men won’t love you for who and what you are, then your reality shows you that. Then you feel frustrated, lonely, sad and, maybe, depressed. You try doing things like getting on then struggling on dating sites, as your reality confirms what you think. Like this girl:

When you’re finally ready to try a better way, The Transamorous Network will be here for you.

I started The Transamorous Network as and expression of my intent to reduce the number of transgender women murdered by shame-filled trans-attracted men. These days The Transamorous Network shows men and women how to get everything they want.

It doesn’t matter what you want. Whatever it is, have it. Just tell stories consistent with what you want, not what you don’t.

It’s easy really. Depression needn’t be your reality. Or any other negative experience. Live worry-free. Like birds. Then watch how everything you want becomes yours.