Category: Relationships

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Don’t make them and they won’t

Happiness it the goalWord to this:  “Life is too short to waste while you lock yourself away and pretend your past and your passions never existed. So get out there. Do you. And be a fucking weirdo.”

I really don’t like comparing people’s situation, so I’m breaking my rule right now: If you think being Transamorous is scary. Think about being a Brazilian Transwoman. I seriously doubt someone is going to kill you for your romantic attraction to Transwomen. Seriously.

You might lose your job. But if you got balls, sue those bastards for wrongful termination. Your friends might tease you, call you fag or worse. Fuck’em. They weren’t your friends anyway.

In most cases, no one really gives a shit who you love. Really.  Not until you make them.  You make them give a shit when you believe they give a shit.

So love who you want and get over the belief that other people’s opinions matter.  I know, “better said than done when you aren’t at risk of losing your job, man.”  Yeah, that’s true, I’m not. I work for myself.  It’s also fucking irrelevant.  What is relevant is what you want to believe because what you’re believing now is creating your life experience.  Keep believing other people determine who you are.  That’s what you’ll get.  Keep believing being seen in public with a transperson is too much to (emotionally) bear.  It will be.  Keep believing your parents won’t approve.  You’re the one creating that situation, not your parents.

Or…

Realize you are the one in control of your life experience.  It’s a simple matter.  But it doesn’t start that way.  You create miracles on a moment by moment basis.  You just don’t know you’re doing it.  Once you do, you’ll discover a whole different world and how easy it can be to live there instead of living where you can’t be who you are.

There’s a world out there waiting for you. It’s a world where you can step out of your limitations and live the life you’re meant to, the one you chose to live before you got here.  That life includes loving transwomen proud and out loud.

The only thing at stake is your happiness.  It’s yours for the taking.  Don’t know how to get it?  I can show you.

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10 – In Honor of Aaron

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Wow. Another great episode on The Transamorous Network Podcast. Jessica joins us sharing her life story, a story full of tragedy, including the suicide of her friend Aaron. But like all great human beings, Jessica has channeled those tragedies into something amazing: her life. We’re all in tears at the end. We name this episode in honor of Aaron and the contribution his life has had and will have on into eternity. You can also also watch the show below.

 

 

 

 

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You must watch our newest video

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That’s because we’re cute, funny and our guests are even MORE cute.  And funny.  Our Newest addition to The Transamorous Network is recorded-live videos of our podcast recordings. Be sure to subscribe at our YouTube Channel for more of these recordings. After all, we know you want to see what we’re up to!

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Shit gets real

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What makes Jaycee so freaking awesome? We think we know. So will you when you listen to our funny romp across her daily life, her recent romantic experiences, what she wants to be when she grows up and how the powers that be are helping make that happen.  It gets real in this episode as the sordid details come-a-flying.

 

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Where’s your baby?

img_3756.jpgThe infant kind. No, I’m not talking about you birthing a child.  I’m talking about the baby you’re bathing. 

Here: I’ll explain.

We all desire connection. One connection we most want, particularly as adults, is romantic connection. If you’re a transwoman, or a Transamorous Man, you, more than most really desire that kind of connection.  As much as you may think you’re the independent sort, can do it on your own (men) or don’t need a man to validate you (women), if a transwoman (for the men) or a great guy (for transwomen) showed up today and asked you out, I highly doubt you would say no.

Both Transamorous Men and Transwomen therefore have a desire for what every person on the planet wants. So why are you having such a hard time at finding it?  Probably because of your baby.

You see, when you’re complaining that there are no guys out there who will treat you right, you’re unlikely to find those that will.  If you say to yourself, “there are no transwomen in my area” it’s really difficult to find one in your area. The more intensely you think these kinds of thoughts, the more opaque go your lenses.  It gets to the point where there’s no way you can’t see anything but the reality consistent with your thoughts.

I talked recently with a transwoman who was a guest on our Podcast.  Anyway, she had this to say about the pool of men out there who are “admirers” and how they treat transwomen:

…we are kept as secret “discreet” hidden fetish fucks by the majority of admirers who hugged on to hetero-mono-normative relationships while getting into the desserts while no one is looking…How they dehumanize us all while admiring us.

It’s certainly NOT “admiring” when a guy treats a transwoman this way. Not by my definition. And while speaker did acknowledge backhandedly that there are a few “admirers” who won’t treat her that way (did you catch that?), the majority is what she’s focusing on. This is what I’m talking about.  Before she said this, she asked:

So are you asking for a trans-woman to go to your show and speak of rainbows and butterflies in how men date trans women?

If you’re wanting to meet a member of the minority who will treat you with dignity, then yes, I am asking not just our podcast hosts, but every transwoman who sincerely wants to have a real, lasting relationship with a great guy, focusing on “rainbows and butterflies.” Sounds counterintuitive, but this is the path to your joy and happiness, romance and a new life. You don’t have to do so if you’re a guest on our podcast, but you certainly must if you’re wanting a real-life connection.

If you’re thinking “all men” treat you a certain way, or there are “no men” out there who want you, or, that there are “no transwomen” in your area, then you’re throwing out the baby with the bath water. You don’t need “all men”. You just want one, or some number if you’re poly-oriented, or “non-hetero-mono-normative”.  You don’t need every transwoman, you just need one. Focusing on the majority is focusing on the bath water. While you throw all those men out, you’re throwing out the baby too.

So I ask: where’s your baby?