I suppose most people think being scammed is a bad thing. But a scammer taking advantage of you tells you something really good.
No, it doesn’t tell you you’re stupid. Or that you should be more aware…although you probably should. What it is telling you is that there is something happening inside you that makes you a match to that experience.
Yes, the scam “victim” draws that experience into their life. Being scammed isn’t a random event. No event is. Instead, it’s a reflection of an inner state, a vibrational state. As with every event, getting scammed vibrationally matches a similar inner state, so it shows up in the scammed person’s experience as manifested reality.
This is what happened with a client recently, although she caught it early enough to avoid being scammed. Just like I did before.
I wrote about what most people would say was the positive side of this experience last week on my other blog. But this week I’m going to share another positive side. A side most would probably think was “negative”.
But it’s not. It’s very, very positive. And it’s something that could improve every trans woman’s and trans-attracted man’s experience in finding love.
Desperation: a great money maker
As I wrote last week, this client finds herself attached to a certain guy. This guy waffles in his affection for her. The client knows she deserves better. But because of beliefs causing her attachment, she can’t pull herself away from the guy. I mean, she could, but she feels compelled not to.
As a result, she wants him to change. But he won’t change. That’s because her focus remains on his waffling behavior. She doesn’t like that behavior. But because she fixates on it, it persists.
Not only that. It’s getting stronger.
And as it does, her desire for it to change gets stronger too. So the two amplify each other. That amplification leaves my client feeling desperate. And desperation is what the vibration feels like that makes one a match to scammers.
Especially scammers who use the potential of finding love as their leverage.
No where are people more desperate than in their pursuit of love. That’s especially true in the trans community, which includes trans-attracted people. Folks are willing to spend thousands to get it. They’re willing to kiss a lot of frogs too!
Meanwhile, the endearing, unconditional love people seek in the world around them exists right there inside them. It’s the connection between them and their Broader Perspective. And when a person connects to that, love from another human pales in comparison.
The irony is, when a person has this inner relationship front-and-center, human relationships get better. And love one wants from another human gets better too.
Conditional love or unconditional love?
The client in question doesn’t have this Broader Perspective relationship front-and-center though. Instead, she’s allowed her relationship with Mr. Waffle to displace that relationship. And this is why she feels desperate. Because love from another human always comes with conditions. Broader Perspective love, however, is unconditional.
Displace that unconditional love with conditional love and the immediate feeling is insecurity. Keep it there long enough and insecurity turns to worry, concern, fear, jealousy and even hatred. These emotions happen when that unconditional love another human brings to the table bears out as unconditional: when they get mad at us for not meeting their expectations. Or for doing something they don’t like.
Our Broader Perspective has no conditions we can’t meet. It doesn’t get mad at us. We don’t irritate it. It just loves us, period.
A person trying to rely on conditional love can develop feelings of desperation when everything they try fails to coax their partner into behaving the way they want. That’s what was happening with this client. And that’s why she was feeling desperation.
Finding her way
So last week when those four new perfectly-matched dating options showed up, the client was overjoyed, at first. As she explored one of them more deeply, however, he turned out to be a scammer. A scammer preying on people desperate for love.
This revelation had the client feeling angry, then sad. But what was happening wasn’t sad. It didn’t have to be anger-inducing either. That’s because the experience showed my client exactly where she was vibrationally. And if she didn’t know where she was vibrationally standing, she couldn’t do anything about it.
Thankfully, the client’s Broader Perspective got her attention well enough to trigger skepticism about this person. She looked into it a bit more, then discovered the plot.
She’s still struggling though. She hasn’t yet found her way through disempowering stories on various subjects. Stories that have her feeling vibrationally low. And creating circumstances, events…and men, projecting that low vibration back to her.
And yet, improvement is on the horizon. So long as one persists in their focus, their desire to improve their vibration, that will happen. Then the world must reflect that improved vibration back to her in the form an improving life experience.
In the meantime, this client already has created enough evidence on other subjects proving telling positive stories works. So she’s going to persist. Which means she’s eventually going to get everything she desires. Including a satisfying relationship.
In light of two calls I’ve received recently, I’m beginning to wonder what’s happening in South America. Could it be that Latin cis-women are more open in their sexuality than the rest of the world?
Or, is the experience I’ve just had indicative of a trend emerging world wide?
Over the years, several cis-women sent me messages about what I share. Apparently, some wives of trans-attracted men have no other source of advice. So they end up at The Transamorous Network website. I suppose that’s not a surprise. People have told me The Transamorous Network dominates search rankings for “transamory” and “transamorous”.
But wives of trans-attracted men must know that term in order to search for it. Am I right? Or can they use other search terms and end up at The Transamorous Network? I don’t really know.
Whatever the case, over the last few years, I’ve been on the receiving end of several wives’ ire. They’ve complained bitterly about discovering their husbands’ trans-attraction. Some found their men engaged in conversations with escorts, or having sex with them. Or they’ve found transgender porn on their men’s computer history.
Nearly all these women expressed outrage at their husbands’ behavior. And all of them live in North America.
Recently, however, I got two calls indicating perhaps a change in all that.
Love overcomes all?
Both these women called me from South America. One from Brazil, the other, who I spoke with just this morning, from Colombia. The Brazilian has a trans-attracted long-term boyfriend. The woman from Colombia married her spouse more than a decade ago. Both women were not upset about their husband’s trans attraction. In fact, both knew about it not long after meeting their partners.
But in both cases, the men’s trans attraction began significantly affecting the relationship. So much so both women reached out for advice. Both women expressed wanting to remain with their partners. And both want to help their partners so they can remain in the relationship. I think that’s remarkable.
Is it ironic both women are from latin cultures? I thought these cultures, both sharing hefty doses of Catholicism, would frown on trans attraction, comparing it to homosexuality. And yet, both these women proved me wrong. Both were open and quite supportive of their men’s sexual interest.
Meanwhile, as I wrote above, every woman who expressed ire over their men’s behavior called or wrote from the United States. Might this indicate something? I don’t know. Samples sizes are far too small to tell.
But when talking with these two South American women, I could feel their openness to my explanation of their men’s issues. They both recognized the spiritual origins of their men’s trans attraction. They also had compassion for the shame and guilt their men felt. So much so, it surprised me.
It also surprised me that I got no push back when I told them the best way to support their men and their partnerships was to focus on the positive aspects of their men. Neither woman contested the idea that they create their reality through what they think and say. I thought that remarkable too.
Is the world changing?
I don’t know if the world is changing in this way. But it is great to talk with cis-women who aren’t threatened sexually or otherwise by their men’s trans attraction. I can tell both feel their men’s trans attraction will enhance their relationships. These women’s level of commitment to their relationships and their partners was, to me, extraordinary.
Perhaps trans attraction is entering a stage similar to being transgender: where the men (and women) who find trans people irresistible will find acceptance. That acceptance may currently be in small pockets around the world. But hey, that’s a toe-hold. It may be the beginning of a larger development.
And it just might be that I have created around me a bubble of people progressive enough, spiritual enough to recognize trans attraction as a blessed thing. Something as worthy as any other expression of love.
I’m ok with that.
I love talking with and encouraging people who already are open to new ways of being. It warms my heart knowing such cis-women exist. Just as I know trans women exist who are as accepting of trans-attracted men as they are accepting of themselves.
Over time, women have written me after finding out their husbands/partners are trans-attracted. Recently, two such people sought my advice. Those conversations were enlightening. What can they do about their men’s trans attraction, they asked. Interestingly, both wanted to stay with their men.
Remaining with their partners is new. At least in my experience. Past women writing me expressed outrage. Or they felt shame and revulsion. Or they felt betrayed at discovering their men find transgender women attractive.
Presumably, some readers are reading this because they’re in similar situations. I’m writing this post for those of you. The world doesn’t offer many resources for you. Just as it doesn’t offer many resources for your man. So you’re likely to make mistakes. Mistakes that could cost your marriage. Mistakes including believing that your relationship is over.
It doesn’t have to be.
Read on to discover a fresh, empowering perspective. A perspective about you, your relationship and the man you either are, or once were, in love with. In other words, there is hope. Hope for you, for your man and for your relationship.
I know what I’m talking about
Just for background: I’m a transamorous guy. “Transamorous” is a relatively new term. It means someone who is attracted to transgender women. “Trans-attraction” is another word for it. But the two aren’t the same.
Transamorous is a higher order, more mature version of trans-attraction. You can read more about the two in this post.
I have had my own experience with moving through trans-attraction to transamory. Part of that journey involved being married. My process happened over many years. Since then, I created this site to help men like me. As I wrote above, such men don’t have many resources they can turn to.
Given my experience, I’d say I’m an expert on this situation. Not only because I share the attraction your husband does. But also because I work with men like your husband.
I also work with trans women. So I have an understanding of both sides of the relationship dynamic which brings these two groups together. It’s a very strong dynamic that needs some explanation. The dynamic involves you too. Not in the way you probably think it does though.
But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Suffice it to say, I know what I’m talking about. And I offer what I know to soothe concerns you’re feeling. It’s going to be ok. Don’t panic.
Knee-jerk reactions born of panic aren’t in your best interest. (Photo by Hailey Kean on Unsplash)
None of this is a judgement on you
This section is important. Some women discovering their man is trans-attracted make the mistake of blaming themselves. You must not do this. Nothing has gone wrong although it may feel that way. You’re not a bad partner. This has nothing to do with your sexuality, or your ability to please your man.
There’s nothing you could have done to prevent this. What’s happening is the natural unfolding of your relationship. Because it’s natural, it was unavoidable. In some way, at some time, this was going to happen. So rather than thoughts like “my relationship was a sham all along”, or “My self-esteem is shattered”, it’s better to consider that everything about your relationship is working. It’s just that some things are happening you just don’t understand yet.
Society conditions us to put other people’s opinions of us ahead of our own. That shows up in thoughts like “what are people going to think of me?” or “I’m going to be the laughing stock of my church”. People’s tendency to put other people’s opinions of them ahead of their own is a major impediment to happiness generally.
But it really is detrimental in this situation. Mainly because what’s happening is a special event. An event those around you are likely to not understand at all. More importantly, considering others’ opinions at this time will disempower your ability to reap the wonderful opportunities that exist in this situation. For you, for your partner and for the world generally. This especially includes opinions of your family and your friends.
So you must do your best to refrain from thinking about what others might or are thinking about what you’re experiencing. Their opinions do not matter.
You came into this situation on purpose. You came with everything you need to benefit tremendously from it. No one who matters is negatively judging you. You might be though. If you are, that’s not helpful.
Your emotions might be acting against you
Whether you’ve just found out or consciously knew all along, what you’re experiencing in your relationship is a special situation. It’s human evolution happening right before your eyes. As such, this is not a sexual, or romantic situation. It may seem that way. But that’s the wrong context to look at what you and your husband are going through. If you look at it from there, you’re sure to feel betrayal and other similar emotions.
Meanwhile, this is a much bigger, much more important experience for both of you. It CAN be a deepening of your relationship, not a destroyer of it. But how YOU frame it will determine which it will be. So not panicking is in your best interest. In fact, the more logical you can be about this situation, for now, the better.
We’ll reintroduce emotional reactions in a bit.
For now, it’s important that you not engage with or invest in your emotional reaction. That’s because you’re likely to create unfavorable outcomes. Particularly if you’re feeling negative emotions about what’s happening. So any negative emotional reactions are acting against you.
I’m presuming you love your man. Or loved him up to discovering what he’s been doing. I argue that you still love him. You may not feel that love right now. Maybe you do. If you do, that’s a great start.
If you don’t, I ask you just be patient a bit. I promise the love you have for him will return. It may return by the time you finish reading this.
What’s happening with your man
As I wrote above, your man is undergoing a process. It is a divine, spiritual process of human evolution. It’s not about sex or romance, although it sure looks like that. And, your man probably doesn’t understand what’s happening to him either. I mean, sure, he feels arousal. He can see his behavior. But he may not be very clear about why what’s happening is actually happening.
As such, he’s likely questioning a lot of things. Particularly, he’s questioning his own sexuality and sense of self. Meanwhile, many other thoughts are going on in his head. Some of those thoughts are about you. They’re about his love for you. They likely are scary thoughts. Thoughts about what might happen if you find out. Thoughts that you will judge him harshly when you find out.
And, while he’s thinking all this stuff, he’s feeling shame, embarrassment, self-loathing and more. Which all explains why he’s doing what he’s been doing in secret. He just can’t bear to talk with you about it. Hell, he can barely acknowledge it to himself!
He also has nowhere to turn. The internet doesn’t help (save for my content and a smattering of other scant sources). But it can provide relief and space to explore. Relief in the form of porn, which allows exploration. But maybe your man has moved beyond that. He might be seeing a trans woman on the side. He may be seeing and paying for escorts or prostitutes who happen to be trans.
All these acts are part of this glorious process of human evolution. He doesn’t feel it that way. And, likely, neither do you. Nevertheless, that’s what it is. Let’s take a dispassionate look at that process.
It’s evolution baby!
We humans are way more than our bodies. No matter what your religion says or what your beliefs are, we are eternal beings enjoying a human experience. That experience has definite purposes. One of those is something I call “expansion”.
I’m not going to go into great detail here. The point is, your husband before he became a human, embarked on his human journey knowing full well he would experience what he’s experiencing: this thing called trans attraction. He knew it would cause his expansion. And here’s the kicker: he also knew it would create expansion for humanity, the world and the Universe at large.
Another kicker: the fact that you’re involved with him can only mean one thing: you were in this from the beginning. In other words, you also agreed to have this journey, this evolutionary adventure. That’s how you saw it before you became a human: an adventure.
Maybe you don’t see it that way now. But you can. Believe it or not, this experience will enrich your relationship. But you must make the decision that triggers that enrichment. No one else can do it. Including your man.
This evolution is causing humanity to see itself in new ways. It’s not new from our divine, eternal perspective. But as humans, it is new. The newness feels like “never been before”, and “pushing the boundries of self-expression”. It feels like “breaking down limiting beliefs and prejudices”. It feels like “letting go of what we’ve been told.”
So this process is divinely inspired to move humanity forward. And you, dear reader, are an active participant. I want you to see yourself as a supportive, willing active participant.
What your man is going through represents a divinely-inspired process of human evolution. (Photo by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash)
The transgender experience
“Transgender” is the flip-side of your husband’s experience. Trans people and your husband are working together at a divine level. Transgender women, your man and men like him agreed to all of this. They knew the world would be better off as a result.
Being trans is a leading edge expression of humanity. Maybe you’ve noticed how much in the news the experience is. It’s literally transforming every aspect of civilization. From bathrooms to boardrooms, from the pews to politics, transgender people are fulfilling their roles. Many of them don’t understand what they’re doing from the perspective I’m writing. That doesn’t invalidate what you’re reading though. Like your man, these people don’t remember a time before their human birth. But that time heavily influences everything happening here.
Which is why nearly every transgender person feels being trans was something that happened to them, rather than something they chose.
Glory inherent in this experience already is being seen in many trans people’s lives. Success, wealth, recognition and increased freedoms are becoming an increasingly common experience for these people.
But the one area where they still struggle – particularly trans women – is self-acceptance. Self-acceptance and, as an extension, finding love. This is where your man comes in.
He’s a reflector
Your man’s role in these women’s lives is to reflect acceptance, love and appreciation back to the women. It’s a journey. It’s a process. One that works both on the women and your man. For your man is likely not accepting who he is as a trans-attracted person. Which is why he’s hiding it. He’s also afraid of what friends, family and society at large will think of him. Just as he’s afraid of what you might think of him.
This fear is similar to fears trans women have about themselves. In that way, the two groups – trans women and trans-attracted men – are perfect mirrors of one another. And the divine gift is, the two groups coming together and, in that process, both finding “healing” (that’s not a word I use often but it’s the best I can think of as I write this).
Now, your man is also reflecting for you. Presumably you two met and developed a love for one another. Real love is unconditional. That means, no matter the conditions, love remains at the forefront. Any other kind of love is not love. So if you’re feeling anything other than love for you man, even in the awareness of his trans-attraction, then you do not love him.
This is important to understand.
Your man, therefore, is helping YOUR expansion too. Expansion into what? Into unconditional love. Which is, by the way, your natural state. You ARE love. That’s why it feels so good to love and be loved. Both experiences faithfully reflect back to you what you are. Make sense?
The power of your thoughts is real
Think about the following statements:
I once loved (name of your man)
Maybe I still love (name of your man)
I am in a relationship with (name of your man) because I love(d) (name of your man)
I don’t want (name of your man) to suffer
He’s hiding this from me because he’s scared
Maybe he’s hiding this from me because he’s also embarrassed
(name of your man) might not understand what he’s feeling
He probably believes he must be “the man” for me
And this experience is probably challenging that for him
He doesn’t have to be “the man” for ME
But he might think he has to
So (name of your man) is struggling with this as much as I am
I hope he’s not suffering
Maybe he thinks he’s gay
Maybe I think this means he’s gay (my note: he’s not)
I want him to be happy
I don’t want him to be embarrassed or scared
There’s compassion in me for (name of your man)
I do love (name of your man)
I want us both to be happy
These are productive thoughts about this situation. Maybe you’re feeling even a smidgen of compassion, more understanding or love for your man after reading them. Or maybe just a bit of relief from your negative judgements. If you are, then you’ve experienced the power of your thoughts.
The way out of this situation is using that power. You’re using it now. But if you’re feeling negative or judgy about it, then you’re using it to your detriment. And the detriment of your relationship.
But if you use it deliberately you can completely and totally transform this experience. Not just for you, but for your man too. And for your relationship. Let’s look at what I’m talking about.
Your thoughts create everything
I’m not going to go into great detail here. That’s the purpose of my client work. But your thoughts and beliefs are the source of your entire earthly experience. And the more you deliberately think and believe, the better your life will get.
That includes people you interact with. The more you deliberately think and believe about people in your life, the better those people will become for you. That’s how powerful you are. My clients are proving this to themselves every week. I’m experiencing it in my life too, which is why I can teach people how to do this.
Inherent in you is the ability to create any version of any experience that is consistent with your desire. You can’t change other people’s desires. You can’t, for example, create a version of your husband who is not trans-attracted. Doing so would violate free will, which is a basic tenet of All That Is.
But you can create a more joyful version of your relationship/marriage. You can make it more consistent with what you are: unconditional love. And in doing so, you can transform who you are. When you do that, the world, including your relationship and your man, will reflect that back to you.
But to use this power, you must give up blaming. You must give up blaming others for your experience. That includes giving up making your man wrong for his trans-attraction or anything he’s done.
Here’s the thing: You knew he was trans-attracted when you first met him and didn’t read the clues. Nothing happens without you knowing on some level. That’s because you are the creator of your reality. No one else is creating it.
You create your entire experience. Including your relationship. (Photo by Caleb Ekeroth)
Recreating your relationship
So going forward, you have an awesome option regarding this situation: You can start deliberately thinking and believing about it. Do that and the situation will change in your favor!
Changing it has nothing to do about changing your partner. It has everything to do with YOU changing. You must become a more positive thinker/believer. You must begin reframing everything in your experience as positive. Including what your husband is doing. Do that and you’ll find your relationship seemingly miraculously changing.
So you may think the problem is what your man is doing. That’s not the problem. The problem is what you’re thinking about what your man is doing. That’s where your suffering is coming from. It’s coming from how you’re thinking and believing.
Rectifying your thoughts and beliefs isn’t easy. Mostly because many beliefs lurk beneath one’s conscious awareness. This explains why having someone like me around is helpful. I can spot unconscious beliefs in another better than they can themselves.
A therapist will not be as effective. That’s because they’re going to include your man in their solution. The problem though isn’t your man. It’s not his behavior. It’s what you’re thinking about both those subjects. Many other subjects too!
If you felt some relief reading those statements above, you’ve already had direct experience with the effectiveness of the approach I’m outlining here.
It’s powerful for a reason
This approach is extremely effective. That’s because it relies on basic building blocks of All That Is. Building blocks you constantly use to create your experience. You just don’t know that’s what you’re doing.
Do it deliberately and you will literally transform your relationship/marriage. And your husband. And yourself. The change doesn’t happen overnight. But initial signs are immediate.
The opposite is true too. If you’re worried, concerned, angry, feeling betrayed or similar emotions, you’re using this approach to create a future you’re not wanting. That’s why I wrote at the beginning that panicking is not in your best interest.
So find ways to relax. Look for things in your relationship that please you. Focus on those. Talk yourself into appreciation of your man and what you have with him. Then, maybe, you’ll feel better. Then you’ll be inspired to open a dialogue with him instead of starting a fight. Maybe you’ll be inspired to tell him you love him. That you want him to be happy no matter what. But that you’d like to remain with him and walk this path together.
If you can get there, then you have a chance. Anything that has you relax and find peace with yourself works in your best interest.
This is not a comprehensive explanation. It’s meant to offer advice that will work. But you must act on it. What I’ve written here isn’t enough to make the process work for you. There’s just not enough room to explain a process that requires hundreds of hours to master.
But mastering it gives you the keys to your kingdom. With it, you can create anything you want. Including a relationship full of unconditional love, rewarding experiences and a deepening peace and happiness.
I once had a female housemate named Debbie. She left her “real job” for a calling. Instead of that “real job”, she wanted to become a life coach. This was back in the day when “life coaching” was the thing.
Months went by and Debbie wasn’t making much progress. One day, I happened to see her in the house. In that moment, I knew Debbie had lost her dream.
The look on her face said everything. The dread on her face and tears in her eyes spoke volumes. Debbie probably feared what she thought would happen next if she ran out of money. I remember giving her a long embrace. I told her it would be ok.
Debbie eventually moved out. She relocated to another state, got a job and, today, as far as I can tell, is happy. She married. Got a dog. She’s gotten back into dance, something she loves. As far as I know, life is good for Debbie.
Too good to be true?
As I pursue my calling, I know how Debbie felt. Yet I persist. Why? Because I know something Debbie didn’t. I also had extraordinary experiences that convinced me I could succeed. Debbie likely did not. Finally, enough evidence has show up along the way to convince me I’m progressing.
For Transgender women and trans-attracted men, the calling often pursued is finding that one person who clicks all our boxes. Someone who will love us. Someone who we’re compatible with. A person we can love. Someone we find attractive.
But many of us think such a person is too good to be true. Like Debbie, transgender women and trans-attracted men actively looking for love don’t believe what they want is possible. So we give up. Or we compromise on our dream.
Transgender women will settle for other women. They don’t believe a guy will love them. Trans-attracted men will spend all their money on escorts. They don’t believe they can find a beautiful transgender woman who won’t reject them. We compromise on our dreams because the idea of never finding love feels worse than the compromise.
Of course, there are lots of transgender women happy living and loving other women. And there are some trans-attracted men who settle for cis-gender women and live happily. Debbie found happiness too.
But we have dreams for good reasons. Still, giving up on them seems rational. Especially when the dream itself seems so irrational. Or scary.
But all dreams feel that way at first. Especially big ones. For many, finding love feels like a big one.
Living the dream
Plenty of examples show how worth it pursuing a dream can be. Hell, the very act of transitioning was once a dream for many transgender women. Now, for most transgender women, it’s just a known and accepted process. We could even say that process is now pedestrian. So many folks transition these days it’s not a big deal anymore.
This can be the case with ANY dream. Including the dream of finding and living a life with a satisfying lover. But old beliefs, will resist anyone who dares to follow such a dream. Which is why dreams feel scary or impossible. It’s not that they are scary or impossible. It’s because we think they are. And those thoughts conjure negative feelings we call “fear”, “scary” and “disbelief”.
Think about it though. Anyone who has actually pursued a dream realizes something remarkable. In pursuing, fear goes away. Done right fear gets replaced by adventure, interest and passion. Then, in perfect timing, when the dream is realized, the path to that dream feels sweet.
Then others see what we’ve done. Our example inspires others. Then the world changes. That’s the power of a dream! It’s world-changing.
Living the dream then, isn’t about getting to the goal of that lover or whatever. It’s the journey to that lover. That journey is the adventure that makes arrival so satisfying. Which means living the dream is worth every step along that path. And along the journey we inspire others.
We can all live our dreams. Especially transgender and trans-attracted people. In doing so we change the world. (Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash)
Is it worth it?
My experience proves what you’re reading. There have been moments of fear along my journey. But I know what “fear” means. Yes, there’s that “False Evidence Appearing Real” thing. But fear also is a beneficial emotion, like all emotions. Understanding what fear or disbelief tells us makes those emotions comply with our dream. And when that happens in us, it’s much easier to see the path before us. It’s much easier to see the end goal as a reality too.
That’s how my transgender and trans-attracted clients find their lovers. I show them how to turn their fear and disbelief into empowerment and expectation. Then I show them how to see evidence of progress toward their lovers. The more evidence they see, the more expectation and empowerment grows in them.
Before long, they arrive, happy and in love.
Anything a transgender person or a trans-attracted guy wants, they can have. Such people choose being born as trans or trans-attracted for powerful reasons. One: their lives inspire others. Two: Their example changes the world.
Getting what we want, especially love, can be scary. Especially when we don’t believe it’s possible. I don’t want to help you believe it’s possible. I want you to KNOW it is. Because it is. Don’t be scared. Live your dream. Have the love you want. I’ll show you how. Contact me.
If you’ve read posts here before, you get a sense of our perspective. Humans create everything in our experience. Including other people. But nearly all of us are doing that unaware that’s what we’re doing. So we blame the world around us, and other people, for our troubles. All the while not realizing when we do that, we create more trouble for ourselves.
Tremendous amounts of power lie hidden in that very true synopsis of our perspective.
Trans-attracted men (and transgender women) are no exception to this. Most of us think the world around us some objective thing. It’s separate from us, not springing out of us as a reflection of our inner state. So it’s not a wonder trans-attracted men will react to inner awareness with fear. Their basis for self understanding is external, as it is for most of us. It doesn’t matter that that basis is flawed, which it is. When they notice something about themselves, they will consult the world around them for what’s true.
Transgender women do this too.
Unfortunately, the world around them will tell them they are the problem. Then, trying to fit in, they’ll hide this new awareness, or try changing it. Social ostracism, for the uninitiated trans-attracted guy, is a terrible thing. Familial ostracism is even worse. Ostracism from one’s manliness is an even more fearsome thing. No wonder such men struggle accepting what they are. Just like many transgender women.
It’s meant this way
But the world IS a reflection. And like all reflections, it’s an illusion. The paradox of this world though, is, if you walk onto a freeway, cars zooming toward you will kill you. So we must all contend with the powerful “reality” we put ourselves in that feels so real…when it’s, at the same time, not at all real.
After all, if we knew it wasn’t real coming in, the benefit of life would not be ours, would it? So we hypnotize ourselves into this “kill you” part of the paradox.
Meanwhile, the reflection serves us all. It aids in our becoming better versions of ourselves. “Better versions” look like increasingly pure expressions of divine intelligence. More direct expressions of All That Is, in other words.
“Trans” and “trans attraction” represent this purer, more direct expression. What do you think Divine Intelligence, or All That Is, looks like anyway? A grey-bearded white guy?
NO!
All That Is is “TRANS gender”. It comprises both genders while simultaneously rising above themall. It is more than the sum of its (infinite parts).
And so are we.
Physical reality is an illusion…that can kill you. (Photo by Chris Barbalis on Unsplash)
Back to the guys
Trans-attracted men are identical to transgender women when viewed from this perspective. They are on similar paths. You could say they are on different aspects of the same path. No one’s murdering these guys, sure. But again, it’s not the SAME path! It’s a DIFFERENT ASPECT of the same path. We could even call it a COMPLEMENTARY aspect.
In other words, while transgender people need no protectors, trans-attracted men can complement them in off-the-chart ways. But these men first must know what they’re doing with their trans-attraction. Their journey from Chaser to Transamory IS THAT PROCESS.
If transgender women were willing to change their view of such men, they would find powerful allies there. Yes, it takes a profound willingness to change one’s mind in the face of so much evidence to the contrary. And I know most transgender women won’t do stop looking at the contrary evidence long enough to do that. It’s true: self-loathing is a powerful elixir.
But some do. Some like my clients.
Every story can change. Even self loathing ones. A powerful figure with tremendous global influence once said of his tormentors “Forgive them Father. They know not what they do.” There’s great power in forgiveness. That and asking questions.
A simple question can change the course of even the most vile person. And in that way transgender women can become catalysts for trans-attracted men. If they choose to.
So, transgender women, the next time you get a dick pick from some online dating app you’d do better not being on, perhaps instead of getting mad, forgive the sender. He doesn’t know what he’s doing.
Then, maybe, ask them a question. Like: Why do you think sending me this picture will get you what you think you want?
