An Instagram follower offered an interesting perspective. It shows how powerful stories are. She suggested our content was superficial and didn’t take into account “nuance” that comes with being trans, particularly being both trans and a Person of Color (POC).
Indeed, she went so far as to suggest the person writing our content is cis, and being so, knows nothing about the plight of transgender people:
She is wrong on both counts.
Stories matter a lot
It’s interesting when people double down on their disempowerment as a way of trying to show us that what we offer can’t possibly work. “Complications” exist in every perspective. Such complications play no factor in how things happen in life…unless the life-liver invites them to play a factor.
A person invites such complications to have an effect on life by believing they have an effect. Just like this Instagram follower.
If a POC believes their status as a POC influences their life experience, it’s very hard to have an experience where that status doesn’t have an influence. I’m not saying such status doesn’t have an influence. What I am saying is, that influence is inconsequential when one takes control of stories they’re telling about such status, or any other limiting factor.
Results speak louder
The fact is, our clients find powerful lives through following our advice. So powerful is our advice that even POC find empowering lives. Here are results from actual clients, some of whom face the same apparent “nuances” this person suggests invalidates what we offer:
One transgender female client, who also is a person of color, credits this practice for keeping her from committing suicide.
Another transgender woman of color created a three-year marriage. She’s still in that marriage today, to a cis-gender male POC.
Yet another transgender woman is finding her way out of “online dating hell”. She’s discovering more happiness and hope that she can find a lover.
Still another created her dream career in photography through what we offer.
Meanwhile a trans-attracted guy who tried to kill himself three different times found liberation from suicide ideation. He now pursues his college education, and a career in show business!
Finally, another trans-attracted guy found greater peace and happiness within himself. Every week he discovers powerful insights leading to greater confidence and self-acceptance.
Nuance is a story. As is thinking skin color makes a difference in having what one wants. Neither nuance or skin color need determine one’s experience. Unless one believes they do. Everyone can enjoy a life in which everything they want happens. It’s just a matter of telling stories consistent with that rather than stories complaining or criticizing life.
We show clients how to do that. As a result, they become exceptions to the rules. They get what they want and they find happiness. Ready to find yours?
The best way to create a better dating life starts with learning how to do nothing. When people discover the power of doing nothing, life really starts taking off. And dates people have get better and better.
This is especially true for those looking for that perfect mate. Transgender and trans-attracted people struggle finding love because they’re caught up in the “doing disease”. It literally feels like that. Dis-ease.
We think all we need “to do” is do more of what others are doing and we’ll find our mate. So that’s what we do. We go to bars. Maybe we ask friends to hook us up. But the one thing so many do while infected with “doing disease” is pursuing a partner via online dating.
I know that path personally. Over the early part of my life I probably spent something like seven thousand dollars subscribed to various online dating sites. That includes transgender-specific ones. I spent another five thousand or so on other match-making alternatives. That was before I discovered a far more powerful way to fall in love: telling powerful stories.
Doing is drudgery
Before that discovery, I was caught up in doing too. And doing had me doing what everyone else did. It worked. Sometimes. Looking back, though, the success rate of all that doing wasn’t very high. It wasn’t any fun either in retrospect.
No one really likes getting on dating sites in order to find love. It’s a lot of work and money. But it’s crazy how many people go there. So few actually find what they want that way, yet, so many go that way and struggle through sucky experiences.
I’ve asked my clients which they’d prefer: meeting their match in their daily life, on the way to the grocery or while in a park for example, or meeting them on line. Every one agrees they’d prefer meeting them in real life.
Why do so many go through that drudgery then? Maybe it’s because they’re trapped in the doing the disease like I was. I’m glad I found the way out. The way out being doing nothing. It seems crazy, but it’s true. Here’s why.
So many people tire themselves out by trying to get what they want through action. But doing nothing begins a path where things happen far more easily. No struggle required. (Photo by Adrian Swancar)
You match what you’re getting
First, the reason why so many seek their partner through doing, yet fail to find them, is because they’re trying to get something they don’t believe they can have. I talk about this with every client. A person can’t find something they think they can’t find. That’s the case for keys, lost gloves and partners one think doesn’t exist.
How can someone find a partner if they think that partner doesn’t exist? That’s the belief in which many transgender and trans-attracted people stand. So many transgender people think they can’t find a guy who will love them for what they are. So many trans-attracted guys think transgender women of the kind they want, don’t exist. And yet, both parties do, do, do, while not knowing their doing doubles down on their negative thoughts about what they want.
Worse still, how can a person find someone to love if they believe they themselves aren’t lovable? Many transgender women struggle with believing they are worthy of what they want. A lot think they love themselves. But track what comes out of their mouths and in short order overwhelming evidence piles up. That evidence shows what that trans woman really feels about herself.
Same goes with trans-attracted men. Although it’s much easier seeing the evidence. We trans-attracted men struggle with shame and embarrassment about our attraction, but also about our desires. We’re insecure about what our desires tell us about ourselves. And so we struggle too.
Insecurities proceed us all
The fact is, if a person doesn’t think their partner exists, or they don’t think they deserve finding them, they’re not going to.
So when such a person goes online to find their partner, armed with such beliefs and insecurities, they draw to them experiences confirming their beliefs and insecurities. They meet skeezer trans women, cavort with call girls and escorts and get had by gold diggers. Or they meet men who only want to sext, see dick picks or ghost the minute online conversations turn to meeting in person.
When people get these responses, they ignore what these experiences tell them. Instead, they try harder, do more, push, struggle more. They think if they do all that, they’ll finally get what they want.
It doesn’t work that way. Especially in love.
Finding love is easy when you give up the struggle. Even if you’re trans or trans-attracted. (Photo by Juliette F on Unsplash)
Doing it different?
Doing nothing begins an important process. That process reverses inertia created when a person keeps doing the same thing over and over, while expecting different results. When someone calms themselves, relaxes and focuses inward, powerful processes get underway even though it seems like nothing happens.
And the more that person relaxes into doing nothing, the more effective they get. That’s because every person, trans or trans-attracted, receives guidance through their intuition. Doing nothing tunes one into their intuition.
What really happens is, by doing nothing, the person calms down noise in their head. That way they start hearing clear signals their intuition sends all day, every day.
In time, the person realizes some profound insights. Like this client:
Uncovering such insights takes a while. And this is the challenge. So many people in our lives tell us doing nothing is lazy and time wasting. But it’s not that. It’s a profound state of being which tunes one back into their deeper knowing.
But if you listen to society, parents, educators and all those loud mouths in the peanut gallery, you’ll hear “stop being lazy”, “work harder”, “success is in the struggle”.
It works but it’s tough
Such approaches work. But do you really want to struggle through life? I don’t. I’d rather enjoy life while seeing my life bringing me everything I want with little effort.
People who struggle claim it’s worth the struggle. They look at and display scars they “earned” on the way to their success. I say give that approach up, especially when it comes to finding love.
Instead, figure out how to become a match to the relationship, that lasting, loving, true love you want. It’s far more fun, easier, and when it shows up, will be a better match. That’s because on the way to receiving it, you’re becoming a match to it. You’re becoming happy. You’re letting go of your pessimism and joylessness. You let go of blame and judgement.
And when all that happens, you can’t help but meet someone who is just like you. After all, in all that doing to find a partner, the judgement, pessimism, and joylessness you experience is what you get in return in the form of partners matching all of that.
A better way exists. It starts with doing nothing, which really is doing a lot. Learning to do nothing transforms lives. My clients know this. It’s time for you to know it too.
It’s so fun watching transgender women and trans-attracted people using stories to create their love lives. I love participating in that unfolding. When such people find their power, they realize they can create what they thought was impossible. Then their lives get really fun.
Of course, everything is possible. The only things keeping some things impossible are stories people tell. “That’s impossible” is a self-fulfilling prophesy.
Things change though when someone discovers they stand at the center of the Universe. There they realize they create everything around them. Including all the lovers they want…or the lack thereof.
Stories are powerful
A transgender client’s personal experience showed how powerful, or disempowering, stories can be. She started practicing with me 36 sessions ago. Last week, something happened that amazed her.
During those 36 weeks, Jennifer (not her real name) uncovered many disempowering stories. They included stories about dating, about men, about men’s intentions. But they also included stories about Jennifer herself. These included stories like the following:
I’m not good enough to get what I want
I’m too fat to get the guy I want
Men only want me for sex
I’m too old
Time’s running out for me to find a guy
I never can find the right guy I want
These stories together created Jennifer’s reality. What did that reality look like? One where men she met wanted her for sex, or for photos of her genitals. Several often called her, but only when drunk. They demanded sexually explicit texts, wouldn’t talk on the phone and when Jennifer pushed the issue, they would ghost her. Others made promises to meet in person, only to disappear later.
No wonder Jennifer created negative stories about dating, about men and about men’s intentions.
It’s not that her stories weren’t true. After all, she formed many of them from past experience. But if Jennifer wants what she wants, she can’t expect to get it while telling stories about what she doesn’t want, no matter how true they are.
Stories are powerful. They can create more of the same. Or they can create what you want.
Choose: get what you want or be right
Jennifer had a choice. She could tell true stories and be right. Or she could tell stories about what she wants and get that.
For example, one story she had about men was “I’ll never meet a nice guy locally”. Every guy she had met, she met through OKCupid. Desperation had her using online dating. No matter how many times I told her online dating works terribly, she kept using it.
That’s because she also believed it was the only way she met men. See how stories create reality? Her stories about not meeting local guys had her believing she could only meet men online. So that’s how she met them. And, the men she met there showed up consistent with her other stories. Especially stories about herself.
The online experience only amplified her frustration, which in turn reinforced her stories about men, her datability and her belief that she’d never meet the guy she wanted.
Again, Jennifer can’t tell stories about her past and get what she wants. Instead, she must tell stories about what she wants. That’s what we focused on in the ensuing 36 sessions.
A lot of transgender women would rather be right than get what they want, which is why they end up sad, bitter and alone. (Photo by Caleb Ekeroth)
Evidence starts proving it works
Over time, Jennifer’s new, empowering stories started creating realities consistent with themselves. It was rough going at first. Often Jennifer reinforced her old stories more than energizing new, more empowering ones.
However, there’s something cool about telling positive stories. Such stories enjoy enormous creative potential. You see, the Universe wants everyone to enjoy what they want, no exceptions. So when someone lines up with what they want by telling positive stories about it, they become a match to that. Then, that person gradually starts seeing evidence of what they want showing up everywhere.
That’s what happened with Jennifer. For example, men started waving at her as she walked down the street. Every time it happened, she said, she looked behind her to see if the guys were waving at someone else. Nope, they waved at her.
Or the male barista at the drive up kiosk would chat Jennifer up, where before he would ignore her. Another time a gas station attendant complimented her nails. And another time, a male restaurant sever paid particular attention to her as he attended the table she sat at with friends.
Ordinary people chalk these examples up to “coincidence” or some other logical explanation. But there’s no such thing as coincidence and logic has nothing to do with it! Everything happens on purpose. The purpose is reflecting back stories one tells about what’s happening.
The more Jennifer got this, the more such instances happened.
Evidence grows more insistent
Until one day while walking her dog at the local dog park, a man who also had his dog approached her. He said hi and Jennifer returned the greeting. They enjoyed a nice conversation while their dogs played. Afterward, the guy said “Oh, dude, I gotta go. I’m late.”
Now Jennifer interpreted that as the guy misgendering her. We don’t know what his intentions really were, but I told her telling such a story was not in her best interest.
“It’s better to make up a story that you feel better about,” I said.
“Like what?” She asked.
“Like ‘the guy was using “dude” like some people do. It’s just a figure of speech, like an exclamation”,” I replied.
At first, Jennifer didn’t like that new story. But after some cajoling she admitted it felt better than the knee-jerk story she wanted to tell.
I told her telling such stories would create the next evidence that would knock Jennifer’s socks off.
And that’s exactly what happened next.
Every transgender or trans-attracted person can enjoy a relationship that knocks their socks off. Unless their stories run contrary to having that enjoyment. (Photo by Jeremy Bishop)
It bowls you over
Jennifer had other stories not related to men and dating. These needed attention too. The combination of stories, what I call a Belief Constellation, creates everyone’s reality. Jennifer’s constellation included many negative stories about her work and her manager. Those stories kept Jennifer on edge, defensive and feeling like a victim.
Feeling on edge, defensive and victimhood makes one a match to situations that exacerbate feeling those ways. And not just work situations, dating situations too. That’s why we needed to soothe Jennifer’s work stories too.
That took a while, but the better Jennifer felt, the more she wanted to do the practice. In time, evidence at work convinced her more and more her new stories were working.
Her boss complimented her more and more. She gave Jennifer more responsibilities. When Jennifer announced she was looking for openings in other departments, her manager offered to reclassify her job so she could get more pay. Finally, her manager came out and told Jennifer how much she valued her and how much she wanted Jennifer to stay.
Evidence at work was bowling Jennifer over. It amazed her that simply telling positive stories could literally change her relationship with her boss!
Then one day Jennifer texted me from work telling me how a process I taught her – called PRE-PAVING – helped change her work experience. In the text, she misspells it as “preparing”:
Then it happened
Riding on that positive momentum created what happened next. Jennifer felt good about changes happening at work. So much so, she softened on the idea that she couldn’t meet men in person. She started acknowledging evidence showing she was meeting men. It’s just that she hadn’t soothed negative stories enough to have such men approach her in person.
That all changed rather suddenly.
A few days after a remarkably powerful session, Jennifer sent me a text. It was awesome:
Many layers prove how powerful this experience was for Jennifer. For one, she didn’t have to do ANYTHING to meet this LOCAL, GORGEOUS guy other than follow her intuition to take Rocco out for walk. Second, there’s NO WAY ON EARTH she could have deliberately sought out this guy. It could only happen this way, a perfect orchestration of her unfolding reality.
Third, the guy did all the work. He approached her and initiated a conversation. But most of all, what’s super awesome about this rendezvous, is through it, Jennifer realized yet another story she needs to clean up.
“He’s out of my league.”
However, even though that happened, she still had an experience totally contrary to EVERY experience she had in the past.
Every encounter a stepping stone
It’s really important at the point of receiving this experience that Jennifer enjoy the experience. Negatively judging herself does no good. Neither does harsh self-criticism about not doing something she thought she should have done. Everything worked perfectly here because this rendezvous wasn’t meant to be the perfect match or the perfect lover.
What it was, was an experience clarifying for Jennifer where she is on the path to becoming the perfect match to her perfect lover. How else will she know what disempowering stories remain in her constellation, if she doesn’t get to see her constellation in action? This experience worked perfectly.
It encouraged her. It created more desire in her. The fact that it happened gladdened her, inspiring her to the possibility that more such experiences can happen. It was a local connection! Something she thought impossible. And it showed that gorgeous men show interest in her.
So many disempowering stories got a dose of positivity just through this one experience. And so long as she remains in all these powerfully positive interpretations, Jennifer makes herself a match to more such experiences in the future.
Every client gets it
I love it when these kinds of things happen for my clients. Every client enjoys this kind of progression on their way to the love, the life, their greatest desires.
Everything is possible. Including having a relationship matching one’s wildest dreams. Nothing stands in the way of whatever anyone wants other than stories a person tells that are contrary to what’s wanted.
Clean those stories up though and watch how remarkable life gets.
Life is a wish-granting jewel. No matter what one wishes for, one can have it. One only need become a match to it, then draw that which is wished for to them as they hold themselves as a match to it.
I show clients how to do that. It’s easy, it’s fun and it works. Every time. You ready for your true love, your version of the wonderful life Jennifer’s creating? I can help.
There’s great power in managing vibration so that one stands in a high flying state. Doing so through positive storytelling one can literally shape others’ experiences. One can also shape other people. A powerful example of that happened this week with a Transamorous Network trans-attracted client.
This client finds himself profoundly affected by what he’s learned. He started four months ago. So he enjoys some proficiency with positive storytelling. But this week, like many clients, he came having had a rough few days. So when he showed up to the session, he wasn’t ready for what happened.
When I help clients attain a high proficiency with telling stories, I create a vibrational bubble in which I hold the session. Every session feels the same because of this. The high vibrational state I create then hold during the session “pulls” clients from wherever they are, to where I am. That’s why, unlike traditional therapyor counseling, every client enjoys extremely satisfying sessions containing powerful insights and breakthroughs.
A compelling offer
This time, however, I brought a lot more vibrational mastery to the table than usual. That’s because I meditated prior to the session, using a process which increases one’s vibrational focus. I also used another process because I wanted to amplify the great feeling I felt after meditation.
By the time I came to the session, I was bouncing off the walls with intense, positivity, appreciation and joy. So much so, the client’s socks got blown off.
The disparity between where he was and where I was was so great, he had to join me. He literally had no choice because my mastery was so strong. So when the client came into my bubble, his negative vibration had no place to go but outta here! 😂.
Which is why, after the session, he sent this:
Creating people on demand
When it comes to relationships, especially romantic ones, most people try to manipulate, convince, “love” (it’s not really that), bribe, blackmail or blame their partners into being someone they can be happy with. That hardly ever works.
Indeed, the whole idea of “love languages” is part of the problem with relationships. Expecting someone to be a certain way so you feel better is a recipe for disaster. It’s also not loving.
Loving is unconditional. That means, no matter how a person might be, you still love them. That’s hard when vibrational mastery eludes you.
But with vibrational mastery, not only can you love a person no matter how they are, when you do, THEY CHANGE.
The best way to change someone is to tell better stories about them. When you do, you “vibe” with the version of the person you want to experience. Then the person you’re with changes into that person. Better stories about that person make that possible. In the process you also feel fucking great!
Trying to change people through action or words hardly ever works. When it does work, it rarely lasts. It often also creates resentment. But using stories, you can make any change you want permanent. And people love you for it.
It’s just like what my client experienced. And I wasn’t even trying!
Want a powerful relationship with those you love, those you work with and those you care about? Stop trying to change them. Tell better stories about them, become a match to their best self. Then, watch how much power you have to create people on demand.
A trans-attracted client echoed what many of my clients feel after learning how to tell positive stories about their lives and things they want, including relationships.
He’s been in the practice only four months. And over that time, his life transformed dramatically. No wonder he’s doubling down on telling happy stories about life, about transgender women and about his trans-attraction. He knows it’s the best way to get what he wants in love.
Furthermore, he knows the power inherent in positive stories. They literally make everything possible. Including turning around in just a couple weeks circumstances which had this client contemplating suicide. Suicidal thoughts are nothing serious. Eliminating them comes easy once someone understands then uses the power of positive stories.
That’s what this client did. In a couple weeks, he no longer even thought about killing himself. Now, he’s so clear “stories create reality”, he’s glad he made the choice of connecting with The Transamorous Network rather than going to a therapist:
He’s right on another thing. Mass shootings in the US wouldn’t happen if people understood why emotions exist and where they come from. In their ignorance of this, some get so far down emotionally, feeling powerless and insecure, the only thing they can think of is shooting up a school, church or sporting event.
Such events needn’t happen. But so long as people don’t understand what’s happening inside and around them, they will keep happening. So will the suffering. Same holds true for transgender people and their admirers and suffering they experience in love. So long as such people don’t understand emotions and the power of stories, suffering will continue in life.
Eckhart Tolle wasn’t playing when he talked about how unnecessary suffering is:
Is suffering still necessary for you?
I love how Transamorous Network clients get that suffering no longer need exist in their lives. I love then watching as they tune their lives so their lives match stories they tell about how they want their life, instead of how it is.
The more they do that, the more powerful they get. Then the more free they get. Before long life for them becomes the adventure it is. Then they get the love, the partner, the life they knew was possible.
We suffer because we know deep down that life was supposed to be fun. It was supposed to contain everything we want, flowing to us easily. But for so many, that’s not the life they live.
I want everyone living their happiest life. Therapy does work for some. But it has a terrible success rate. Telling positive stories works 100 percent of the time. Positive story telling is one of the best kept life secrets.
Although it’s not a secret. People have shared this life approach for…ever.
Isn’t it about time you got in on the fun life and find your match?
