Some people scoff at the idea that people create their life through stories they tell about life. Transamorous Network clients don’t scoff though. Because in a very short time, in some cases immediately, clients discover stories do, indeed create reality.
Once they see evidence, clients want results consistent with what they want. They start small usually. While going after little things in life – feeling better about being single, for example – other things happen too. These other things surprise and delight the client. No wonder then that clients get more hopeful about life.
Maybe, just maybe, they start thinking, life is on their side. Maybe life can be fun, easy and filled with self-fulfilling desires. Perhaps seeing that partner they want come to them isn’t as far fetched as they thought, they think.
In that hopefulness, clients ease into lives they meant for themselves. Lives filled with joy and optimism, hopefulness and eager anticipation.
There, they realize they deserve what they want. And the Universe agrees, then helps them get everything they want and more.
In time, and the length is different for each client, clients come to sessions to revel in the joy, not fix problems. From there, sessions get really fun.
It’s not counseling or therapy
Since no upper limit exists about what someone can get or how good they feel, sessions always contain moments where greater fine tuning happens. But most sessions involve sharing stories – real life examples – where desires just happen in client’s lives. They marvel, surprised that life gets better and better and better.
Then it’s no wonder clients keep coming back. Why wouldn’t they?
Where else in their lives do they find unconditional acceptance and encouragement for everything they want? Does anyplace else exist in their life where people come feeling good, anticipating a wonderful hour, then leave feeling even better, having amplified their feeling good?
Where else in life can a person learn how to see their life giving them everything they want? Then return to their life and see more of that with their own two eyes?
I know the answer: hardly anywhere else.
Some people ask me if this is therapy or counseling. No, it isn’t therapy. It isn’t counseling either.
Clients don’t learn skills about getting people to treat them better. They don’t go back into their childhoods, try to unpack “traumas” or fix things “broken” about them.
They also don’t heal anything because nothing needs healing.
Life is spiritual made physical
The biggest difference between what we do and counseling and therapy is, we come from a knowing the medical and mental health spaces rarely acknowledge, let alone know exists. That knowing says, people are eternal beings here to create the world of their choosing. They enjoy access to the entire power of the Universe, because that’s what they are.
We show people how that power works, then how to leverage it to turn dreams into reality. Dreams are as real as physical matter. We show clients how to make those dreams physical. Including getting that lover they want trans, or trans-attracted. Just a few simple fundamentals makes it work. From there life is fun. Just like this client describes:
What we do works for anyone. But some won’t find it fits their world view. It doesn’t fit because their world view makes it that way. We know a lot of people live life from such world views.
That’s why for those people, including those who are trans or trans-attracted, fail to find love, satisfaction and freedom from self-loathing, shame, insecurity and loneliness. It’s not the world that’s wrong. Nor is it the men they want. Or the women. it’s their world views. In other words, the thoughts they think about the world around them. The world they are creating.
Great results pop out of stories aligned with what one wants. A few basic fundamentals makes that so. Then results consistently happen so consistently, you’d wonder why you didn’t know the fundame to start.
A transgender woman who discovered The Transamorous Network on Medium followed our content. Then, just a couple days later, stopped following us after a brief exchange with me.
She wasn’t happy hearing she creates her reality through stories she’s telling. Instead, she wants to blame men, society…anyone other than herself.
I get it.
It’s challenging getting what I share because it requires owning the indisputable fact that everyone creates experiences in their lives. But once it clicks and a person sees how their experiences stem from their stories, it all starts making sense.
Then life gets really fun. Because the only one who can effect your life experience is you. In other words: You and only you create your world. That’s powerful knowing.
It’s not easy for people to accept that they create lives they experience. But no on else does it and it’s certainly not random. But once someone sees how it happens, then takes control of that, life gets really fun. (Photo by Engin Akyurt on Unsplash)
Results a person gets on the way to getting what they’re after indicate what they believe about what they’re after. It’s great knowing that too.
Because armed with that knowledge, results help shape beliefs more aligned with what one wants. Deliberately using this process, seeing it work the way it does, makes life fun. It also makes getting what you want really easy.
Nearly all my clients come thinking they want what they want. But when we examine beliefs they have about what they want, and about other things related to that (and not related), they see how, actually, contrary their beliefs are to what they want.
Why people give up dreams
Putting it plain: everyone’s life springs from what they say, think and believe about life. No one experiences something not in accord with their beliefs. That’s accurate for finding lost keys, enjoying ideal careers, changing personal characteristics, having a political system that’s fair and just…and having love however that looks.
Nearly everyone thinks they think consistent with what they want. But I assure you if that were true, dating sites, for example, wouldn’t be a thing. The only reason so many of us humans give up on our dreams, including dream lovers, is because we don’t understand what we’re doing that squashes those dreams.
I share the below screen shots a lot. The reason why: they show to a “T” how transgender women (and trans-attracted men) squash their dream relationships:
A trans woman vigorously defending her limiting beliefs.
The same mistake over and over
The transgender women in those screen shots are doubling down on “evidence” they THINK tells them it’s the world “out there” creating circumstances that frustrate, confound and annoy them. It’s the men they meet, they say, who are to blame. Or it’s some other factor beyond their control.
In reality, it’s the doubling down on those beliefs that’s the problem. That’s why transgender women who say such things feel so bad when they say them.
They keep repeating the same mistake, rolling out all the evidence they think confirms what they think is the reason they can’t meet the man. They don’t realize that the reason they can’t meet the man is because they keep focusing on all the men they’ve met who have come and gone, men who are NOT the man, men who match and reflect stories they have – about themselves, about men, generally, about these men specifically, about dating, about what they want and whether they believe getting that is possible. These beliefs keep them from getting what they want.
The same thing is happening for trans-attracted men.
When you know what you’re really thinking, then your life gets easy. In the “easy” life gets fun too! (Photo by Simon Migaj on Unsplash)
Be the evidence
You just can’t get what you want when you’re telling stories all the time about what you don’t want. That’s what transwomen do when they say “I’ve been online dating for XX years and have contacted XX hundred men and…blah, blah, blah.”
Life doesn’t work that way.
My own life shows how accurate “the work” is. I write about my results every week on Positively Focused and here on The Transamorous Network. My life experience contains a ton of evidence how this works.
Don’t rely on evidence I produced though. Create your own. Be the evidence you want to see.
So it’s not about being “picky” about the men you want. It’s about what you think about the men you want, what you think about the men (or transgender women) you had, what you think about YOU.
What you think about what you think you deserve says a lot. How do you feel about being trans? That matters. How do you feel about life in general? That matters too.
Each of us comes into the world ready to create whatever life would thrill us. Transpeople especially.
Stories that have you feeling shame about yourself aren’t stories you wanna tell. They work against everything you’re wanting. (Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash)
You already knew this
But transpeople and trans-attracted people bring something more: an extraordinary ability to influence all of humanity. Because that which humanity comes from knows “trans”, as a phenomena, is a response to humanity wanting to know more about its potential.
But that “wanting to know” and the potential both are oppressed by bogus collective beliefs humans have about life, gender and a bunch of other things. You can see this by how resistant humans are to real progress and things that confront their beliefs.
Like many people, transgender people get kinda lost. They forget what I’m sharing with you although they knew it before they “incarnated”. Then they get insecure, begin thinking they’re unworthy, and in so doing, lose their influence.
Then they end up in various states of anxiety, frustration, worry, insecurity…the list goes on.
Some don’t stick around, chosing instead to pass back into nonphysical, the place from where they came, where we all come from, through what society calls “suicide”.
That is another bogus belief because every death is chosen, making all deaths suicides. Humans find that very hard to accept too. Just as some trans people can’t accept that they chose to be trans before incarnating and that choice was a magnificent one chosen by a powerful, world-changing, eternal being.
Everyone is SUPPOSED to have EVERYTHING they want. No exceptions. No one is keeping anything from anyone.
But if you’re struggling to find a partner, there is someone keeping that at bay. That someone is you and you alone.
Telling negative stories gives rise to all kinds of emotions. Emotions tell people crucial information. So I find it incredibly amazing hardly anyone understands why emotions exist. Especially the emotion “depression”.
Soon though more people will find out how important emotions are.
People struggle believing when I tell them their stories create their reality. Especially when they think about really bad things from their past. No one wants to know they own creating really bad past experiences. But everyone creates ALL their experiences. No one else. When a person understands how, then leverages that, freedom becomes theirs. Even freedom from depression.
Evidence surrounds us all
Evidence proving your stories create reality surrounds you. I assert that everyone wants to know how they can enjoy freedom and happiness. Everyone wants that lover, or that job, or that amount of money they think will make them happy. I find it humorous then when I tell someone how happiness happens, and the explanation goes over their head. Or they think I’m “mansplaining”, even though I’m nonbinary. 🤷🏽♂️
Knowing stories create your reality and leveraging that gives you all the happiness you can stand and then some. Such knowledge offers immense power and freedom. For if reality springs from stories, and it does, then you can create any reality you want.
Think about that:any reality you want exists. It can show up as your life. Learning how that happens turns “can show up as your life” to “is your life”. Doesn’t everyone want that? One would think!
A client sent me the following video. Hardly anyone would live without money these days, let alone in a cave like this guy does. But I’d wager everyone would enjoy freedom this guy experiences if giving up things money affords wasn’t necessary.
https://youtu.be/chVKpyjmE6w
Negative stories cause depression
His life shows exactly how negative stories not only lead to depression, they also can lead to suicide. At 1:20, he shares how he started thinking negative thoughts about life and society. “Thoughts” and “stories” are the same thing. So he started telling negative stories about life.
In a short while, he went from feeling good about himself and life, into depression. His father thought his son’s concerns about his homosexuality had something to do with it. He said his son feared his family would disown him because of their Christian views. Negative stories about his homosexuality, his family and life in general all led him to suicidal thoughts.
Thankfully, though he thought about killing himself, he never did. Instead he changed his stories.
Now he lives, in his words, like birds. “Birds have no worries,” He says. “I’m employed by the Universe. Since everywhere I go is the Universe, I’m always secure.”
Not only does this guy now live secure, he also lives free. And gets everything he wants.
Free and getting everything one wants. Everyone can live this way.
Getting all you want
Hardly anyone wants to live in a cave and that’s “o-cave”.😊 But pretty much everyone want’s what they want. Not just freedom and fun and all the money they want, but also all the lovers they want. Even if that means just that one love someone pines for. Or that one love one believe does not exist.
But it does exist. So does everything everyone wants. So does everything YOU want. You just can’t see it. The only thing blocking your vision are stories you tell that create realities wherein what you want remains absent.
The video up there ⬆️⬆️⬆️ can inspire. It shows how life shapes to how you think.
So if you think no trans women live in your area, if you think men won’t love you for who and what you are, then your reality shows you that. Then you feel frustrated, lonely, sad and, maybe, depressed. You try doing things like getting on then struggling on dating sites, as your reality confirms what you think. Like this girl:
A trans woman vigorously defending her limiting beliefs.
I started The Transamorous Network as and expression of my intent to reduce the number of transgender women murdered by shame-filled trans-attracted men. These days The Transamorous Network shows men and women how to get everything they want.
It doesn’t matter what you want. Whatever it is, have it. Just tell stories consistent with what you want, not what you don’t.
It’s easy really. Depression needn’t be your reality. Or any other negative experience. Live worry-free. Like birds. Then watch how everything you want becomes yours.
A transgender woman responded to a recent post of ours on Medium. The story showed how complaining about negative dating experiences creates a continuous stream of more such experiences. Here’s what she wrote:
I’m a Trans woman who has had all of the negative dating experiences you describe. Magical thinking about the universe and “man” -ifesting my partner didn’t [work for me].
I don’t believe a cisgender person [apparently she was referring to me] really knows the feeling of meeting someone, having real chemistry and then having them run away after you come out to them. A hundred times. Cisgender women are often fetishized, but Transwomen are treated like an alien sex creature. You really have zero idea, and I say this in the kindest way.
I found my partner through some luck and simple diligence. I formed a strategy and kept at it until I found someone who “saw” me, not the label. The other parts of the equation are working on yourself and being happy with who you are. Men are initially visual creatures and a grounded understanding of that reality helps too.
Here’s what I find interesting about her reply. Besides thinking I’m cis, which I’m not, her response shows exactly how what she calls “magical thinking” works. But she, like so many, believes in what other clueless people taught her. She believes in “luck” and “hard work”. Both of which can work, but as the phrase “hard work” implies, it’s no fun going that route.
And though she claims she met her partner through “luck and simple diligence”, what really happened is, she told stories that created a reality wherein she matched with the person she met.
Everyone tells stories
Whether a person believes it or not, stories and nothing else, create reality. “Beliefs” is another word for “stories”. What you believe, happens.
For example, the other day, my housemate lost her keys, including her key fob for her car. She turned the place upside down looking for her keys. But she couldn’t find them.
Why couldn’t she find them?
Because she believed her keys were lost, that’s why. In other words, no matter how hard she looked for her keys, she couldn’t find them because she created a reality in which finding her keys was impossible.
About 10 days later, after spending $285 for a replacement car key fob, the keys showed up.
Where were they? Some mysterious, really secret hiding place? No. They were in a jacket pocket in her closet.
They were there…yet not there.
She “found” her keys because she no longer stood in stories creating a “lost” reality. Instead, she gave up believing she lost them. Then her broader perspective guided her to what she wanted: her keys.
I’m sure you’ve experienced this too. I have. So have several other clients. A person can’t live an experience that doesn’t line up with their beliefs. The same holds true about finding a lover.
It’s a secret hidden in plain sight: reality springs from what you think about. (Photo: Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash)
Man-ifestation and luck
So how did this transgender woman discover her partner through telling better stories even though she doesn’t know how that works? Let’s take a look. Here’s what she wrote:
“I found my partner through some luck and simple diligence. I formed a strategy and kept at it until I found someone who “saw” me, not the label. The other parts of the equation are working on yourself and being happy with who you are. Men are initially visual creatures and a grounded understanding of that reality helps too.”
First, I don’t know if her partner is male or female, that said, she starts by acknowledging that she doesn’t really understand how it happened. I write that because she uses the term “luck”.
Luck is a word people use when describing outcomes they don’t understand. “Luck” means “success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one’s own actions.”
Why “luck” seems random
So luck implies something beyond one’s control. But creating reality lies within everyone’s control. Everyone creates reality according to their beliefs or stories. Not knowing how they’re doing that doesn’t mean they create reality some other way.
Since most people don’t understand how they create reality, they think when things go well for them, they experience “good” luck. They see luck as a random event. Being random, they also believe in “bad” luck. But bad things happening happen the same way good things happen.
Both kinds of “luck” happen in line with what people believe. Most people’s beliefs contain a few stories consistent with what they want. But far more beliefs people hold revolve around unwanted subjects. Things like racism, inequality, taxes, money shortages, fears about their health or a loved one’s health, worries about being lonely, anxiety about work, negative feelings about people who don’t share their beliefs or values, etc.
No wonder people’s lives contain so much random occurrence. It looks random, but randomness happens because people don’t think thoughts consistently about what they want. Their thoughts contain a hodgepodge of random thoughts. Thus their reality looks random.
Man-ifestation and hard work
Nearly everyone thinks diligence and hard work produce results. When people see success happening with my project Copiosis, they often say “good for you, you worked hard. You deserve this.”
But I don’t work hard to make Copiosis – or anything else I want – happen. Working hard makes getting what you want hard. Which is why so many don’t get what they want – in love, and, on the way to not getting that, experience anxiety, frustration and loneliness.
Later in the paragraph we’re looking at, the writer says: I formed a strategy and kept at it until I found someone who “saw” me, not the label.” I assert what happened here was, she listened to her inner guidance as well as looked at what worked for her in the past. She saw her past successes and applied similar methods. But most important, she started telling a different story: I want someone who sees me, not the label.
A transgender woman (not the writer) telling negative stories…and getting commensurate results.
All that other stuff she did falls into the “doing” category. Doing NEVER produces results, although it looks like that. Doing or action puts a person in a certain location, time and space-wise, where an “unfolding” happens. The unfolding includes circumstances and people coming together in a timing which creates desired results. All that timing and unfolding first gets created in stories. Then associated components assemble into manifestation. Doing happen so you rendezvous with other components as the final necessary component.
Emotions are key
Think about it. Very likely, our writer’s strategy implementation left her feeling discouraged at times as she met potential partners not yet aligned with what she wanted. Which is why she complained at first about experiencing everything I wrote about. Remember?
Yet, she still believed. She told herself a story (such as “I must be diligent and persist, I know this can work” or something like that) which changed “discouragement” into some other positive emotion, such as, maybe, at the very least, “willingness”.
Feeling willing to continue on a course feels better than feeing discouraged. So the story “I know this can work” creates a reality consistent with it: at some point evidence must show up proving that story true.
So long as she kept to that story, and entertained as little contrary stories as possible, “[Finding] someone who “saw” me, not the label.” was inevitable.
Which is exactly what happened.
Even more powerful stories
The writer next amplifies exactly the same stories I write about here all day every day:
“The other parts of the equation are working on yourself and being happy with who you are.“
Essentially she says: I became the best person I could, I found my happiness.
At The Transamorous Network we assert that a person can’t find a loving, happy, positive, successful, trustworthy, friendly, responsible partner, if they, themselves are unhappy, not loving, negative, unsuccessful and irresponsible. In other words, you must become a match to what you want. Otherwise, you’ll not get what you want.
This person did that. She focused on herself, while also putting in place processes which allowed her to feel more hope, expectation and positivity about her goal. Yes, she took action, but it sounds she told positive stories which made her feel positive expectation, which inspired actions. Then those actions led her to her desired outcomes. Outcomes which already existed!
Isn’t that what I talk about all day every day here? Of course it is.
How does that equate to the dirisive “magical thinking?”
Stories create reality. Beliefs create reality. Action doesn’t create reality. Action moves you to a place in time and space where what you want materializes. If you want a partner willing to love you in the way you want, you must become a match to that person you idealize.
Idealization isn’t bad. Idealizing gets a bad wrap because people believe idealizing is unreasonable. They discourage people from dreaming big dreams and going for those because they themselves fail at manifesting their dream.
Don’t be one of those people. Have your ideal. Be the teller of your own story. Get the happy love life you want. You do that by stories you tell, so tell the very best.
If you’re trans attracted and want that perfect partner, you first gotta understand one thing that will kibosh any intent to get what you want.
You’ll still get what you want. But it will end in sadness.
I recently chatted with a Transamorous man who experienced this first hand. He moved from trans-attraction to transamory years ago. Since living out loud and proud about what he likes, he enjoyed meeting quite attractive transgender women, some of whom he dated for years.
But each relationship left him sad. Pointing out the one thing leading to his sadness triggered tears he barely kept back. For his dating experience confirmed this one thing knocking out cold some cis-trans relationships’ potential.
That one thing really comprises two things. If you don’t know them and you’re trans attracted, you’ll not only not see it when you get what you want, you won’t keep it either.
Everyone’s a stepping stone
Transgender women experience life moving from one state to another on the way to an ideal vision of “self”. Unlike most people, their transition keeps them in near constant dissatisfaction about one thing or another. That dissatisfaction offers tremendous motivation. Especially when the woman sees potential on the horizon.
For example, some trans women aspire to professions which reward them for their extreme, post-surgery good looks, their stature and unique aspects, which make them natural runway fits. Modeling, acting or other performance professions offer such opportunity. These professions also offer wonderful life styles and, of course, lots of money. Such lifestyles also come with many gorgeous, successful men.
Others who may not meet those standards, still recognize their physical appearance exceeds those of many cis-women, making them highly desirable. Even for “straight men”, whatever that means, some transgender women turn male heads wherever they go. That makes them highly desirable…and they know it. Just ask any high-priced transgender “escort”. 😱
Many trans-attracted men target such women as their ideal partner. They wish for and idealize such women, who they often see in porn, on Only Fans, or other online venues such as Instagram or Tumblr.
But most transgender women like these, on their way to that success, still want companionship, love, attention and validation. So on their way, they’ll accept relationships with men they will eventually consider not up to the quality they know they can attract. That’s where you come in.
Transgender women like actress and vocal performer Alexandra Grey pursue, and often get, stardom. Are you really up to par with that kind of success? (Instagram)
In other words, trans-attracted men sometimes become stepping stones for these transgender women. They satisfy their companionship, attention and validation needs through you as they move towards their ideal self and their ideal lives.
Dating people temporarily needs no justification. Most relationships don’t last and aren’t meant to. That’s ok.
You must up your game
But if you want that top-shelf transgender woman and you don’t qualify yourself as top shelf, even if you get her, you won’t likely keep her.
The guy I spoke with experienced this first hand. He met a girl shortly after her transition. They connected right away, began dating and enjoyed one another.
Then COVID struck. As with many relationships, constant close proximity strained their relationship. One day, the woman told this guy some bad news. She knew she had tremendous potential as a model. What she didn’t say the guy understood instinctively. As she fulfilled that dream, her tastes, and opportunity to satisfy those tastes, would change. That meant, he no longer offered what she wanted.
I know very beautiful transgender women aspire to top shelf everything. Yes, exceptions exist. But most, I would argue, like most people, react to social conditioning. They seek what society says they should. That leaves many a regular guy shooting for such top shelf women, only to face disappointment later.
People sometimes ask “Well, Perry if your approach works, where’s your relationship?”
I tell them I’m patient. I’m in no hurry. My match and I are still becoming. We will meet when I am at my peak. That moment evolves as I write this, as I develop this platform, Positively Focused and Copiosis. Each of these grows more successful. While more people discover them, I become more well-known. Before long, large numbers of people will know me and my passions. As my passions influence the world more, I become more influential.
That notoriety will create a global awareness of who I am. That will galvanize attention from my partner, who themselves will also enjoy global notoriety, or at least be at that “level” in their own life.
In other words, I’m creating self and stature matching the person I know I eventually will partner with. I call that upping my game. A Transamorous Network client once called that “becoming the best version of me.”
Every sock meets an old shoe
Not all trans-attracted men need become movie stars, billionaires, world leaders or other kinds of influentials in order to meet their match. But if someone aspires to relationships with highly attractive, successful, intelligent, secure, confident transgender women, that person must also be attractive, successful, secure and confident.
Otherwise the two won’t match.
The good news lies in the fact that everyone comes into life with natural gifts. Nurture those and one can’t help become influential in their own way. Like this transgender woman who once also had multiple personalities. She lives out loud about this. As a result she enjoys 133,000 subscribers and helps people like her.
Trans-attraction represents one such gift. Usually, gifts come in combinations. Rarely does a person enjoy only one. So trans-attracted men all come with more than trans-attraction as a gift.
A smarmy saying offers wisdom. It goes “every old sock meets an old shoe.” It means, every person can potentially meet their match and that match can offer great satisfaction, comfort and ease. But enjoying that satisfaction first requires becoming a match to that satisfaction.
The perfect partner needn’t be a model or movie star. Fame doesn’t guarantee relationship success. But many people live far short of their ideal, leaving them desperate, insecure and unsatisfied.
Desperation, insecurity and dissatisfaction offer terrible foundations upon which to build a relationship. And, they tend to draw people living in similar states.
If you want that perfect trans girl and you, yourself, aren’t perfect (whatever that means for you), prepare for disappointment. But many sane, happy, fun, easy-going transgender women exist. They may not be models, but they can offer love, companionship, relationship and affection.
And in the end, when all the glam fades and it’s just you two, what really matters? Model-like appearance? Influence? Fame? Or things like honesty, integrity, communication and trust? Most people I talk with, including transgender women, when I remind them of what matters, act surprised.
Hopefully you’re not. Avoid the kibosh. Revise what you look for in your trans partner. Focus on becoming your best you. Tell positive stories about everything. Then see what happens.
