The pleasure that is Sarah McBride

SaraMcBridepromo We recently had Sarah McBride on our The Transamorous Network Video Channel. It was a great interview spanning two twenty minute shows.

Sarah, as you may know, is a major rising celebrity in the world. Not just in the transgender community, Sarah is making a name for herself on the political stage…literally, as she was the first transperson to grace the stage of a major political convention.

We talked with Sarah about intimacy, love, romance, what it’s like living one’s dreams and how others can actualize their dreams into their reality. But what was most interesting was our conversation about her brief but pre-destined relationship with her late husband. In that portion of our show, she waxed poetically about relationships and how profound and full of grace they can be.

Some quotes from our interview:

“Relationships can be the most profound expression of Grace in this world”

Her husband was fortunate to have been “Patient enough with me to give me the space,” which lead to them becoming a couple.

“The fact that we were the right people for each other and our paths were synchronized…is true!”

Tune in to both parts of the show. You’ll get a lot out of hearing what Sarah has to say. We sure did!

A cheat sheet for the men

Youll find joy in your transamoryGentleman, there are so many women out there who happen to be trans who are appreciating us and our choice to live authentically. There are many who are sane (as sane as any other human), curious, open-minded and willing to self-examine. If I were in the shoes of men dealing with close-mindedness, drama and negativity, I wouldn’t say or think one more word about these women. If I were in these guys’ shoes, I’d focus on these other women, the empowered and employed, the happy and successful, until THEY are the dominant kind of transgender women I encounter.

If I wasn’t meeting these kinds of women now, I would focus on the idea of them. I would keep focusing on the idea of them and, listening to my inner voice, follow the impulses and explore where they lead. I would do this because I know in time I would begin rendezvousing with these kinds of women over and over until they were my dominant experience.

Along the way, I would look for and praise every result I could find as I did all this. No matter how small I would praise it. In this way, I would draw to me all manner of healthy, happy transwomen, and in my example be a powerful testimony for brothers like me.

Years of shame…melt away

Shame“Once I accepted that my sexuality was OK and that it could be expressed in a healthy & romantic way, I felt years of shame and stress melt away. It has been one of the most powerful and freeing experiences of my life.”

I love it when a guy realizes he doesn’t have to live in the shadows of shame, misery and stress. Last week the following email, from a man who found our blog, landed in my inbox:

 

First of all, I just wanted to say that I really appreciate your positive energy, your bravery and your passion in putting together this website. I’ve come out to family and friends in the past 6 months as trans-amorous, as a result of self-reflection and digesting articles and videos that affirmed my experience. I am grateful for internet resources such as yours, because although I had talked to certain friends and therapists for many years about this attraction, people had given me well-meaning, but ultimately damaging advice, essentially fetishizing and marginalizing the attraction.

One article in particular (I wish I could remember what it was!) highlighted that when we treat attracted to trans people as a paraphilia, it implies that men who are attracted to trans women are either 1) closeted gay (which made no sense to me) or 2) have something wrong with them, which means that trans women are implicitly unloveable! That hit me really hard and made me realize that these views are extremely destructive both to cis people like myself and to trans people.

Once I accepted that my sexuality was OK and that it could be expressed in a healthy & romantic way, I felt years of shame and stress melt away. It has been one of the most powerful and freeing experiences of my life. I’ve started to connect to the trans and queer communities and have befriended a couple of trans people, and been on a few normal dates with trans women, although online dating hasn’t really been ideal so far. I just purchased the your book, and am really excited to gain some insights… Perhaps I’ll learn something by looking at it as well. Anyways, I really appreciate what you’re doing and hope to connect at some point. I’ve considered putting myself out there more online/ perhaps creating some videos or similar content, and your website is inspiring me in such a way. Perhaps I can help others avoid the years of suffering I went through.

More men realize their attraction to transgender women is normal, healthy and natural. I suspect we’re going to get more of these kinds of emails in the future.

I talked with “John” about online dating and how sucky it is. We agreed there has to be a better way. And there is. The first step is getting happy. You get happy by telling stories that make you feel good. From there, the Universe takes care of the rest. I’m eager to keep talking with “John” as we all continue down this road of transition.

Straight men come in all shapes and sizes

L0058938 Set of 50 artificial glass eyes, all shapes and sizes, by E.
Like an eyeball, you’re unique. Be you.

Especially the ones who like transgender women. For as many kinds of transgender women, there are kinds of men who would love to be with them. I guarantee that. Even those transwomen who are bitter, angry, pains-in-the-ass find matches. Although initially, those transwomen may not like who they match with. Eventually though, even they will find nice guys who will love them.

I’ve had conversations with my transwomen friends and I’ve heard the stories. Men: You’re not alone loving transwomen whether your preferences are for pre-op transwomen, post-op transwomen, trans women who like to top, who bottom or who are vers. Many transwomen I’ve spoken with have eye-opening experiences. The guys they find interested in them, and the things those guys are willing to do behind closed doors shows how much some straight men want to be with transwomen.

Some of the women also said that if some of these guys, just some of them, were willing to tell society to “kiss my ass” and just go for what they want, in the open, the world (for both transwomen and society as a whole) would be a better place.

I agree. What is it about the world outside our heads that has us so afraid of it?

What is it, guys, that has you afraid to confront the fact that you’re not gay just because you are attracted to this particular kind of WOMAN? The real question here isn’t “is she really a woman?” because the answer to that question is “yes”. The real question is “why are you letting other people tell you who you should or should not be attracted to?”

That’s the real question. The sooner you answer that question with “I’m not”, the happier you’ll be. Not only that. The longer you live your life from what you say is right for you, the sooner those people trying to tell you how to live your life will stop doing that.

Your freedom lies in owning who you are. No matter what kind of man you are, you are ok. You deserve your happiness. You deserve what you’re wanting. So go for it. Be you.

When you do, your whole world will change to support you. It won’t be over night. But it will be worth the wait. I can promise you that.

Happiness is a choice

Happiness is a choiceBelieve it or not, you can choose to be happy. When you do, amazing things happen for you. This week on IN YOUR FACE, Episode 5  we’ll be talking about happiness as a choice. It’s an important conversation.

The happier you are the better your life is going to go. If your life seems like a struggle now, your life can be happy, fun and easy. We’re not kidding you. The moment you choose to be happy, you will begin building momentum and things will just fall in place. Including the man or transwoman you want, and everything else you think you need to be happy.

Tune in on Monday, January 16 at 7:30 p.m. on The Transamorous Network’s Facebook Live Show IN YOUR FACE!