First, there are no “problems”. Since you probably, like most people, believe there are, we need to unpack that. I’ll get back to the fact that there are no problems in a moment.
Having trouble finding love? Having trouble finding work? Tired of all those “crazy” transwomen you keep meeting; the gold-diggers, players, skeezers, cheaters? Tired of all the chasers, the guys who are in the closet, guys that want you to “top” them? Are you tired of hearing about people like you getting beaten and killed? Are you one of those people whose parents want nothing to do with you?
Do you pay attention to things like the latest transgender community survey?
There’s a way out of all that. But first, you have to really look at where all these problems are coming from. I mean really look. If any of the problems above (or any other problem) is your experience, and that experience has you feeling sucky, there’s something you can do to relieve yourself of them. Yes, “them”, meaning, all of them. But it’s going to take some time and it’s going to take some work. The first task: understand the one thing all your problems share.
That thing is YOU.
There is no way to deny that you are the common denominator of all your problems. The plain fact is, if you weren’t here, you wouldn’t be experiencing your problems. If you didn’t exist, your problems – at least as you’re experiencing them – wouldn’t exist because your experience wouldn’t exist. Right?
This is so eye-rolling obvious, but I would bet, dear reader, that you haven’t stopped to think about how that obvious fact plays into your problem-experience. That you are the center of all your problems is why you are always meeting the same guys or girls in your search for love. It’s why you’re having a hard time finding that job you like. It’s why you’re stuck feeling like being trans is so hard.
If you didn’t exist, neither would your problems.
Since you are the common denominator of all your problems, doesn’t it stand to reason
that the solution to these problems isn’t “out there” in your “reality”, it’s somehow “in there” in side “you”? There’s an old saying: when you point a finger in blame, there are three fingers pointing back at you. Your problems aren’t the problem. You are.
This is not some “positive self-help” meme. It’s basic reality. This also is the fundamental truth about our work here. We want you to have a fabulously fun, happy and exciting life where you experience all you want and NONE OF WHAT YOU DON’T WANT. You can’t have that life though if you’re blaming your reality for all the problems you see in it. Because the more you point the finger at your reality, the more problems you sow in that reality. The way out of your problems is to realize there are no problems.
And that is no Matrix movie bullshit. It is the most accurate statement about your world.
Now you and your friends might be like “this is such bullshit, you’re blaming the victim.” We actually had a person write us recently on our YouTube channel and make that claim. The problem with that statement is, it denies the common denominator of the problem. If the victim didn’t exist, there’d be no experience.
So the question then is, how do I (that’s you) have experiences that don’t look like problems?
There are no problems. Only clues.
First, what you think of are problems aren’t. What they are are clues showing you that you have your interpretation of your life experience all screwy. You are getting clues all the time, but you don’t usually pay attention to them, so the clues get bigger and bigger until they’re undeniable. Problem (lol) is you don’t see them as clues, you see them as problems. So instead of taking the clue, you look at it and complain about it. It’s like the pointing finger. It’s a simple clue, a symbol, indicating to every human being with hands that when you look out in the world and blame something out there, there is more evidence (three fingers as opposed to one) that the Source of the problem is the person pointing the finger.
Clues you interpret as problems get bigger and bigger until you do something about them. The biggest thing you can “do” to “get the clue” is to look at the stories you’re telling yourself. Your stories are creating your life experience. The more persistent stories have more dominance in your reality-creation. So if you’re complaining all the time that the only transwomen you meet are trifling, that story is going to predominate meaning your life experience is going to only allow you to meet trifling transwomen. Your meeting trifling transwomen, and your disappointment about that repeat experience, is your clue that you have a story creating something you’re not wanting.
If you want a happy life, you have to tell happy stories about your life. But don’t expect miracles to happen over night, although it can happen that way. Old stories take time to subside. New ones take time to settle in. But the good news is, you are always able to change your stories at any time. Which means you are always able to start changing your life experience at any time too.
Need help? We got your back. Contact us, or check out our materials. They’re gold.
More Transamorous men are making themselves known through our show. So far we have officially interviewed three. Those episodes are in preproduction so they’re not quite up yet. Other interviews are on the way.