I manage the this blog as well as another, called Positively Focused. Positively Focused also has a YouTube channel. On that channel I dive deep into the Positively Focused practice, which is the same practice I talk about on this blog.
A transgender client recently created for herself a remarkable series of events using the practice I walk clients through. It was worthy of a YouTube video celebrating the experience because she thought what happened was impossible….until it happened. I thought it so good I would share it here with my readers of this blog. I think you’ll find it remarkable. Definitely worth watching…
Trans women, like all people, are powerful creators. The best way to express that creative ability is by telling better stories. Like Samira has done, you can do the same thing. Nothing stands between you and getting what you want but you. Samira figured this out (pretty quickly). You can too.
TL;DR: Two clients reveal how our stories shape reality. Their contrasting experiences show that alignment, not effort, creates desired outcomes—and that even contrast serves expansion on the path to joy.This is a post originally published on our Positively Focused blog
Two clients this week proved how powerful our stories are. Both clients are trans-attracted. Both are advanced clients.
The delicate dance between the two clients illustrates how our stories create reality. But they also show how deeply connected all of us are to each other. Further, what happened this week proves how each of us acts as both contrast AND as angels for one another, with both contrast and our angel-hood benefitting everyone involved.
I’ll clear up what I mean in a moment. When I’m done you’ll see the perfect co-creation of what happened between me, the two clients and their experiences.
To really understand what happened, though, let’s revisit what trans attraction is.
What is trans attraction?
Trans attraction is a classification of people who are attracted to transgender people. Typically, this attraction is exclusive. Much like homosexuals and lesbians, trans-attracted people tend to not find cisgender women or men attractive as potential relationship partners. They can appreciate beauty expressed in cisgender people, but their trans-attraction makes it challenging for trans-attracted people to enjoy relationships with such people.
That’s because they’re not here to do that. They’re here to enjoy leading-edge human experiences: expressing something other than heterosexuality. What’s more, such people, particularly trans-attracted men, are here to represent the completion or the fulfillment of what trans women desire: love and relationship.
The trouble with trans-attraction for most such men, however, is that it’s so not the norm. Almost always, trans-attracted men conclude their trans attraction means they’re gay. This is not the case.
But society’s dominant momentum on sexuality and gender, generally, and anything not conforming to the gender binary specifically, causes these men great discomfort. And the more value they place on others’ opinions over their own, the more such men struggle with an identity that is valid, wholesome and right, but against mainstream society’s grain.
So trans-attracted men are those who are strongly pulled to be in relationship with transgender women. The two clients in this story fit that classification perfectly.
There’s always more to expand into
Both men also struggled mightily with their stories about their self worth as trans-attracted men. One, who I’ll call Chris, struggled partly because, as a former Christian, his belief system told him, in no uncertain terms, that he was going to hell. The other, who I’ll call Seth, happens to be Jewish. He’s not concerned about hell.
But what caused Seth’s massive struggle were stories he created conflating a sexual exploration he had with his younger brother when he was nine, his discovery that he was trans attracted not much later, and his culture, which really, really puts a lot of weight on what others think.
Both men came to me wanting relief from these struggles. Both men have been clients about the same time. And, both men have made great progress in finding freedom to be who they authentically are.
As a result, both are living out loud their trans attraction. That’s a good thing. As with all expansion, however, there’s always more to expand into. And this is why I’m writing this. Because both men’s expansion came together in such an instructive and delightful way.
The set-up
Both Chris and Seth once believed it impossible to meet trans women who weren’t escorts or gold-diggers. They also believed it impossible to meet trans women who would be happy using their…uh…male appendages.
Ok, important note: many trans women are NOT happy doing that. But every desire we have is to be fulfilled. So if a man wants a trans woman who will be happy doing that, the Universe will fulfill that. That explains why there actually are trans women more than willing to use their male parts. And they’re not all escorts or gold-diggers either. Which brings me to what happened to set this experience up.
Seth has soothed his negative beliefs so much that, recently, he moved out of the Northeast and down to Austin. That’s a far more liberal location compared to where he came from. Austin enjoys a robust LGBTQ community. That’s despite being in Texas.
Still, it surprised Seth how easily he met trans women. And not just trans women, really pretty trans women! Old beliefs kept him doing things not necessarily in his best interest, however. Things like going to strip clubs and hiring escorts. But each time that happened, the outcome showed him why leaning in the direction of his trans attraction was better.
Reflecting beliefs to be soothed
Enough disappointment came from those encounters so that Seth gave up following through on such impulses. In doing so, he eventually started meeting higher quality trans women while just being himself, feeling good and putting himself out in the world.
That’s how I suggest everyone “find love”. But that’s another story.
Chris, for what it’s worth, isn’t at that point in his expansion. He still thinks trans women are hard to find. Particularly good looking ones. And, he doesn’t believe he’ll meet one by just “putting himself out there”. Because of those beliefs, he does what many people do who struggle finding a partner: he dates online.
Meanwhile, the really pretty girl Seth recently met is the kind of girl Chris thinks is rare. She’s trans, of course, and majoring in Math in college. Long story short, Seth and this girl ended up “sword fighting”, then in an open relationship: she has a boyfriend. But that boyfriend relationship rests on shaky ground. So she’s exploring her options. Seth is a great option!
Stepping stones
Meanwhile, Chris recently found several trans women online, some of which were more than willing to meet his specific desires. But in short order, these girls showed Chris exactly why I don’t recommend online dating. Oh, they were perfect matches. But not the people Chris could settle with.
Indeed, these women brought behaviors and characteristics reflecting beliefs Chris needs to clean up in himself so that he can attract better matches.
This explains why I call relationships stepping stones. A big plus of relationships is they reflect back to us our beliefs so we can do something about them and thereby find a more permanent happiness. Chris knew that. And he has cleaned up many beliefs. But some still persist. Like the one keeping him dating online.
Ok, back to Seth.
Deep shit
Seth’s relationship is doing the same thing Chris’ is. The same process holds for every relationship, and, every situation…all of reality actually. Life experience is a reflection. It reflects back to us what our dominant vibration is. The difference between Seth’s and Chris’ vibration is, Seth is meeting women more naturally. That’s because he believes that’s possible. So his experience is more delightful than Chris’. Chris is still trying to “make it happen” through a particular kind of doing: dating online.
That’s no fun.
Chris is still learning to let go. He still experiences impatience in his process, which explains why he’s working so hard at dating. It also explains why Chris ended up in what most people would call “deep shit.”
What happened was he shared full-body nudes with a trans woman online. His Broader Perspective warned him this particular person was not who Chris thought she was. Chris acknowledged this after the fact, after the “woman” turned out to be a scammer. A scammer who used that photo to try to blackmail Chris.
Long story story short, Chris ended up paying a security firm $5,000 to track and apprehend the scammer, who, wouldn’t you know it, lived in Nigeria.
The “gorgeous” trans woman
The good news is Chris didn’t amplify his troubles by focusing on them and lamenting or feeling regret. Rather, he did exactly what the I recommend: he found humor in the whole experience. He also acknowledged, as I said, warnings his Broader Perspective used to catch his attention. After this experience, I strongly encouraged him to stop dating online, but, because of his stories, he said he probably wouldn’t stop for a while.
I could tell though that I made an impression. The impression I made had him ready for the next step in this story. For that, we have to go back to Seth.
Exactly one day after my session with Chris, Seth texted me. The moment I read it, I knew a three-way manifestation was happening. A manifestation that included me, Chris and Seth. The night before, the text said, Seth met a “gorgeous” trans woman, got her number and planned to meet her later in the week.
Here’s how he described it:
And when I asked how that happened, I knew it would be a perfect story, an example for Chris showing how his life could go. Here’s what Seth texted:
The Charmed Life
After I shared this conversation with Chris, Chris said he appreciated it. I could tell though that he’s still somewhat stuck in his own belief momentum. He just can’t believe strongly enough that a situation like Seth’s can happen to him. How do I know? He’s still dating online.
Most clients, even in the advanced practice, wobble a bit in their conviction. I do too sometimes. It’s par for the course. After all, we’re human. Our physical reality often feels so “true”. So true it can be very, very hard to believe in a reality that, to our human eyes, doesn’t exist. Especially when our existing physical reality is so present, so now and contains something we don’t want.
But that’s the prescription for getting everything we do want.
We must look where what we want is. That often requires looking into nonphysical, seeing the vibrational version of our desire then holding that focus long enough. Long enough for our physical reality to reflect that focus back to us in the form of physical reality.
That’s simple to say. It’s not easy though. That’s why the practice is the practice. And, since we’re all eternal, it’s a practice we can master, but only for that moment of mastery. For, again, we’re always expanding. Which means we’re always expanding into areas demanding ever-increasing levels of mastery.
The good news is, we can enjoy that never-ending practice. It’s in that enjoyment that we discover the Charmed Life.
TL;DR: The author shares their enthusiasm for the revelation that a prominent Republican is a “Chaser”. They then describe how this is a positive sign, a sign that things are improving for transgender people.
Back in February I wrote a post about how conservative populations include some of the most trans-attracted people despite that population’s anti-trans rhetoric. It was a story I enjoyed writing, mainly because evidence supporting the story was so compelling. I also wrote about how blatant hypocrisy among conservative transphobes was, in fact, fueling momentum for the “future inclusion of trans people”.
Now, this past week, life served a perfect example of that hypocrisy…on steroids.
Last week, CNN outed prominent republican and Trump darling Lieutenant Governor Mark Robinson as a hypocrite, a self-proclaimed “Black Nazi” and more. But what really made him news to this blog is that the story reveals extensive evidence of Robinson being an avid trans-porn consumer, making him a trans-attracted, queer. In other words…his own words… “a perv…”
His history is clear
Now, trans-attraction isn’t a bad thing. There are probably hundreds of thousands of men who are trans-attracted. I write about this all the time on this blog from a positive perspective. I’ve even defined an evolutionary process trans-attracted men move through as they come to accept what they are.
Robinson is at the “chaser” stage of this process. He had been unwilling to admit his attraction publicly. Now that the news is out against his will, he’s denying it vehemently. That makes sense. Robinson vilifies trans people and gay people as part of his far right political platform. The record is clear on Robinson’s thoughts about trans and gay people.
Indeed, his hypocrisy contributes to what I described in my post back in February. It:
“…creates a lot of unnecessary nail-biting and hand wringing. It also creates a lot of wasted time and expense. Not to mention anxiety and self-loathing among those I love. After all, unless one is positively focused, loving oneself is really hard in today’s society. Especially when swaths of the population hate what you are…”
“…supports the unseemly double-standard Republicans hold when it comes to trans people: they secretly love what they publicly hate.”
This anecdotal, yet factual evidence from Robinson’s past adds to the body of evidence showing that a lot of conservatives are also trans-attracted or even queer themselves. Even while they attack people in our community.
With Robinson’s outing, his political career might be losing steam. For now, the GOP-er refuses to embrace his past. How could he? It already might be career-ending. Trump, for example, already delisted him from his next presidential rally according to news reports.
The world is getting better
As ugly as his views are, we can see this news from an empowering, positive perspective. One is we once again have our suspicions confirmed: many of those trying to restrict trans freedoms are, in fact, trans-attracted and may themselves be trans or at least queer. Second, we can see much of their rhetoric reflects a strong momentum of self-denial and even self-loathing. I mean, come on! A black man supporting a return to the days of slavery????
So these people are acting out of a profound lack of self-acceptance. That’s worthy of our compassion. Not anger.
Third, there are people out in the world working to make trans lives freer, safer and more prosperous. Some of those people don’t know consciously that that’s what they’re doing. But they do the work anyway. Thank goodness too for the internet archive, which, apparently CNN used to verify much of what they found about Robinson.
The world is getting better for trans people. I’ve written this so many times. Revelations about Robinson strike nerves for sure. But they also add to the many examples showing trans-phobes for what they actually are. Often they’re legitimate chasers, so consumed in self-hate that they project their hate onto the very people they secretly love.
The more of these stories come out, the better life gets for trans people. The more stories about trans people that get made, the better life gets for trans people. And as more men come out proudly loving trans women, the better the world gets too. So much is happening making the world better for trans women.
So let’s thank Robinson. He’s not doing it consciously. But as his past acts catch up with him and hopefully ruin his career, they’re also making the world better.
TL:DR: The author asserts that vulnerability isn’t key to relationships as many mental health and relationship experts claim. Rather, it’s actually a problem, the author says, especially for trans and trans-attracted people. They then explain why it’s better to focus on one’s thoughts and beliefs in order to create better relationships. In doing so, people get everything they want: better relationships and freedom from fear that comes with trying to be vulnerable.
Vulnerability. Mental health and relationship “experts” claim it’s something special. They say it’s something we all should practice in order to thrive in relationship. But trans and trans-attracted people know being vulnerable is hard, scary and not very fun. After all, who wants to be seen as something other than what the mainstream tells is us ok?
Indeed the very act of being trans or trans-attracted demands a level of vulnerability most people needn’t face. It can literally be a life or death decision. But is vulnerability really the key to happiness, relationship success and more? Or is something afoot here that can disempower trans and trans-attracted people?
In this post, let’s explore why vulnerability is a myth and how dispelling the myth can help us live more joyfully. Along the way we may just also discover the key to everything else we want.
Why experts vaunt vulnerability
Vulnerability is both feared and praised. We fear it because it implies possible rejection. As said before, it also can lead to terrifying consequences. Then again, society praises it because we’re told to. Being vulnerable can also feel good because we’re putting ourselves out there honestly. And doing that can feel good. For most though, it’s usually terrifying. So much so, people won’t do it. Especially trans and trans-attracted people. Which explains why so many trans women want to pass and trans-attracted men live on the DL.
But what is “vulnerability” exactly? The definition doesn’t seem to imply something praise-worthy:
So it would seem, based on the definition, that being vulnerable is a bad thing. So why do experts vaunt it so much? One source suggests being susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm, increases intimacy and trust. Not being vulnerable, it says, can lead to emotional distance, disconnection and resentment.
It would seem being vulnerable then is essential to good relationships. But is that really the case?
Rejection inherent in vulnerability
The trouble with saying it improves relationships is that being vulnerable usually requires a quid-pro-quo situation. I would suggest everyone would be vulnerable in a relationship….if their partner were equally vulnerable. That’s the trouble. No one really wants to subject themselves to physical or emotional attack. It seems extremely logical to me, then, that no one wants to be vulnerable in a relationship either. Which explains why people aren’t.
But there’s something about this vulnerability thing that runs afoul of what’s really happening in physical reality. It’s that being vulnerable is based on something that isn’t happening in reality at all. Well, it IS happening. But only because people believe it’s happening. And that belief is what perpetuates fear associated with being vulnerable.
In other words, the potential consequences of vulnerability is what keeps people from being vulnerable in the first place. Replace the word “vulnerable” with a different word, however, and the whole calculus changes.
What word do we suggest? How about authenticity.
That’s right. If instead of thinking about being vulnerable, we think of being authentic, then we go a long way to easing fear that comes with being vulnerable. The problem remains however, with the essence of what both words conjure: the risk of being harmed. And in most relationship cases, that “harm” looks like “rejection.” Although for trans people and some trans-attracted men, it can be much more than that.
Still, let’s unpack this some more.
Our thoughts make it so
In order to be vulnerable, a condition must first exist. That condition is risk. In other words, the person considering being vulnerable or authentic must first believe there is something they may be rejected over. Rejection can feel bad, but a reframing of the story we tell when “rejection” is experienced can cause that bad feeling to turn into appreciation.
What if, for example, someone rejects us because we share something intimate about us? Does that mean anything? What does it mean about us? It means nothing really. We shared authentically. That person chose something else. In this situation, both parties are better off. We’re free to connect with someone who accepts us. The other party is free now to connect with someone they connect with.
Where’s the harm in that? But when we think the rejection means something about us, then we feel bad.
Now trans and trans-attracted people face a much more complicated situation. Especially trans people. That’s because they have other – legitimate – fears of actual physical harm. Those fears must also be resolved. Those fears come from valid beliefs for sure. But replacing those beliefs with other equally valid ones can be liberating.
We can see, then, it’s what we think about being vulnerable that makes it scary. We think being that way brings risk. The belief isn’t false. But better feeling beliefs aren’t either. And those better feeling beliefs can change our experience.
Our thoughts make everything. Including the need to be, and the fear of being, vulnerable.
Preferring rejection
Being vulnerable means having to take a risk. Hardly anyone wants to take risks. But if there is no risk in being authentic, if instead there’s everything to gain, I would say many more people would be that way.
Again, the problem is the thoughts people have about rejection and what they think that means.
Vulnerability then, isn’t the problem. Making it into a venerated way of being is. Because doing so makes it seem doing something we’re scared to do is something worth doing. It’s not. Instead, it’s better to develop a new set of beliefs around being so that acting authentic is preferable to not acting that way.
That’s easy to do. And it’s not scary. When we do it, the vaunted idea of being vulnerable becomes meaningless. And when that happens, we’re free; free to be who we are. Whether people take that or leave that is up to them. It’s not our problem.
So there’s nothing special about being vulnerable. And, with a little tweaking of our thoughts, we can eliminate that concept from our minds, thereby freeing us to be. Now let’s turn up the woo a bit and see what we find.
Some would rather have this happen than be vulnerable. But there’s a better approach to vulnerability. (Photo by Hasan Almasi on Unsplash)
Finding power in changed belief
Believing vulnerability is a thing presupposes there’s something that can happen to us that’s beyond our control. Usually, that something is bad. For trans people, that includes violence.
But, nothing can happen to us that is beyond our control. We invite everything that happens to us through our thoughts and beliefs. I get that’s hard for a trans person, for many people, actually, to believe. But that doesn’t make the assertion false.
If it’s true, we can see how vulnerability would be a problem. That’s because it presupposes risk. Belief that there’s risk is a belief. That belief will create reality consistent with it. That explains why so many fear being vulnerable. And rightly so. It also explains why it feels scary.
Rejection is similar. There are many thoughts and beliefs around “rejection”. Those thoughts and beliefs, like those behind “vulnerability”, create reality consistent with them. That’s why hardly anyone wants to feel rejected.
Change those beliefs though and the experience changes. This explains why very successful sales people, for example, don’t experience “no” as rejection. They think different thoughts and beliefs around the word “no”. This also proves it’s possible to change our beliefs around things like “vulnerability” and “rejection”. Doing so makes one much more powerful.
Beliefs matter…a lot
So if we invite our experience through our thoughts and beliefs about them, that means something important. It means that being vulnerable isn’t the key to anything. Instead, our thoughts and beliefs are. Indeed, thoughts and beliefs are everything. They literally create the world around us.
The better beliefs we hold, the better our life gets. My clients are discovering this. The more they change their beliefs to positive, empowering ones, the better their lives get. My experience is similar. The more I’ve changed how I think and what I believe, the more my life has improved. So much so, hardly anything “bad” happens to me. And those “bad” things that do happen are so insignificant, I don’t consider them “bad”. They just are.
In a short while, a person can create an ideal life, what I call the Charmed Life. This is true for relationships too. We don’t need to experience risk in relationship. But getting there requires something: not being vulnerable. Being vulnerable is a problem. Instead, what’s needed is a new way of thinking and believing. One that invites only good. Including good relationships, ones matching what we’re wanting.
For trans and trans-attracted people such outcomes don’t come over night. A lot of old disempowering beliefs must first be soothed before evidence of improvement really starts showing itself.
But the more true we are to who we are, the better realities we create, including relationships. So changing our beliefs is worth it. It literally will provide us everything we want.
TRIGGER WARNING: The following is for REGULAR followers of The Transamorous Network. Having background in our material will help navigate the following, highly effective, yet controversial information. If you don’t have experience with our material NAVIGATE AWAY FROM THIS POST.
An interesting question to think about: the term in the title of this posting, which we will not use again because we wish to ignore it, came from somewhere (let’s replace that term with “@$%*!”).
It came from the same folks who once said transgender (AND gay AND bi) was an “abnormality” and a “mental illness”.
Now, of course, we know they were wrong. But how many people suffered and died or faced literal torture under edicts pronounced by mental health “professionals” and the scientific community?
Given that, why on earth would a transgender person go back to the same people, people who got it wrong time after time, and then accept their diagnosis that the transgender person suffers from “@$%*!” ? That term is not something trans people suffer from.
Suffering is an emotion. Physical suffering is an extension, an expansion, of emotional suffering. And all emotions tell us something we must know to get what we want.
All suffering happens when one tells stories incompatible with what we are (divine beings). Suffering also happens when one wants something, but thinks in ways that counter what they want. You’re a regular reader of this blog, so you understand this.
So let’s look at this “@$%*!” from a new perspective. One that can liberate trans people from medications, mental health visits and suicidal urgings. In other words, this article offers a powerful perspective that can allow trans people to live happily in their own skins. Happy and confident with what they are as they expand into something more.
A purposeful discomfort
People are whole and complete. Everyone comes into the world knowing this. They still are this, but they quickly forget. The stress some people feel when they perceive variation between what they know about themselves, and what they thinkothers think about them, can knock them off their knowing. That’s where the variation comes from: They’re considering what they think others think about them. That’s the problem. Not “@$%*!”
Now, I get, some other people’s opinions matter. Or, rather, we make them matter. The problem with that is, when we do that, we set ourselves up for major trouble down the road.
“@$%*!” is variation, manifest inside us. It comes from thinking in a particular way about one’s self. A particular way that does not accept and honor the process of becoming more of what we all are.
The experience “@$%*!” describes is a signal the person experiencing it gives to themselves. That’s right. Humans think they are an integrated, single entity. That is not accurate at all. We are at leasttwo consciousnesses (we are many more than that).
One aspect of that “we-ness” is our human consciousness, our ego. The other, more important one, is that timeless, eternal state of being from which we came and to which we will return.
That part of us constantly communicates with us, here, in earthly experience. It’s extremely important. Not being able to hear it and follow its communication is what leads to all trouble humanity faces. Not knowing that communication is happening also creates “@$%*!” in trans people. That’s because when that discomfort happens, the person experiencing “@$%*!” thinks something is wrong with them.
But nothing is wrong with them!
A divine knowing something’s up
What’s happening is they’re thinking thoughts that vie with what they want. Specifically, they want to know themselves as a woman (we’re writing specifically about trans women, but this applies to all trans people). And, they want others to see them that way too.
But dominant thoughts (and experiences attracted from those thoughts) tell them they are not women. Those two experiences – thought and experience emerging from the thoughts – create discomfort. That discomfort is a signal; a signal they put there on purpose.
God, the Universe, the higher power, whatever you want to call it, doesn’t make mistakes. Everything emerges perfect. Not perfect as in “complete” or “done”. But perfect as in “ever expanding, eternal, ever new, ever more.”
So this idea being expressed as trans is not something wrong. The person wasn’t born in the wrong body either. That happened on purpose. That purpose brings tremendous value. Value to the individual, to those around them, to the world and the Universe at large.
Built into the perfection we all share comes this signal we’re tapped into. It’s there so we can respond positively to it. And we knew, before we incarnated, that, if we did, over time, we would benefit from listening to the signal. We would become more of what and who we are. We’d live more authentically. As we lived more authentically, we would also benefit countless other people. Our example would call others towards what and who they are. And, we knew we’d thoroughly enjoy every single step of this process.
We also knew we would get everything we want.
The knowing was there
Transgender people nearly all report early on in life knowing they were trans. They may not have known the word “trans”, but they knew something was up. At that moment, they were tuned to the signal.
But the world around them had them disbelieve what they knew with absolute, divine clarity: that they are ok the way they are. However, instead of focusing on the signal and what it tells them, these folks looked outside themselves for help with what’s going on inside them. That’s the problem.Not “@$%*!”.
The majority of people “out there”, have their own problems. They’re looking for people to harmonize with. Seeking solidarity with those people, whether professionals or peers, can feel like it helps. That help can feel like relief.
But “relief” is not enough.
Relief keeps us coming back for more of that. The experience of relief is defined by that which one seeks relief from. So relief is not freedom from what defines it. In other words, the person feeling relief remains trapped by that which they get relief from.
The power of self acceptance and self love
What trans people really want is self acceptance and self love. Not relief. Most forget this is available. Almost every trans person has forgotten this. Same with trans-attracted men, by the way.
Well, it’s time to remember!
When someone feels the way the label “@$%*!” triggers, how do we feel? Most will feel, at first, relief. They finally (think) they know what’s happening in or to them. But in short order, stronger, negative feelings will replace this relief. Why? Because, again, relief is defined by that which one seeks relief from.
Despondent, depressed, insecure, self-conscious, vulnerable, ugly, annoyed, etc., are what those with “@$%*!” feel among other things. Of course someone “diagnosed” with “@$%*!” would feel that way. That’s because the label doesn’t fit! It’s not accurate. A person doesn’t feel discord because they can’t reconcile the gender-oriented physical/mental mismatch. They came into the world knowing that experience would happen.
Why do they feel the discord then?
They’re feeling discord because how they’re thinking about the mismatch is mismatched with their inner knowing. They came into the world with this situation baked in, knowing it would offer awesome opportunity to be more of what they are. That opportunity is still there. It’s waiting for the trans person’s embrace. When embraced, gradually, great power comes into the trans person’s experience.
What does that power feel like?
It feels like self love. It feels like self acceptance. Both are extremely influential on physical reality. They’re so powerful, they will transform other people as well as the person feeling it.
So what to do? And is it really easy? Let’s look at that next.
The way out of “@$%*!” is unconventional and, yet, very simple. But it’s not easy. It is guaranteed to work though because the whole Universe works this way. But, like deodorant, we must apply it or our results stink.
We simply tell stories that feel better. Then keep doing that moment by moment, day after day, until our good feelings are just as permanent and recurring as thoughts and feelings associated with “@$%*!” are in this moment. It’s best to do this before getting into the loop of negative stories about “@$%*!”. Because once we’re in it, it’s harder to get out.
At first the practitioner usually doesn’t notice their negative beliefs are active until the practitioner experiences negative emotion. So when they find themselves there, the key is to catch it early.
Say “hmm, I’m feeling negative. What’s the story I’m telling myself that’s causing me to feel this way?” Then look and see. Likely the person is thinking about “@$%*!” or something else triggering the negative signal. When they do that, all the thoughts harmonizing with “@$%*!” become obvious.
For example, a trans woman might look at herself in the mirror, then see something about them they don’t like. Broad shoulders, for example. Narrow hips or a strong jaw line might do it. In a snap, that observation triggers a series of thoughts. That series of thoughts is where the negative emotion comes from. Not “@$%*!” Nor is it the other way around. “@$%*!” doesn’t cause negative thoughts. “@$%*!” is a made up label. A label that’s completely inaccurate.That’s allit is.
The power of thoughts
Now, the person experiencing this wasn’t born not in “the wrong body”. But thoughts they’re thinking about themselves are wrong. Negative emotions tell us that. They also tell us to do something about how we’re thinking.
But by labelling it, “@$%*!” we turn that thought process into a mental illness. That’s not what it is though! What the thought process is, is a clue. A clue we must not overlook.
It’s that communication mentioned earlier in this post telling the thinker to do something about their thoughts. And it’s a positive process; a process designed to move the thinker into more empowerment, self love and self acceptance
So instead, if we catch ourselves as soon as we can, then think different thoughts, in time “@$%*!” will evaporate. It’s that simple. After all “@$%*!” is not real. It’s a made up term used to give relief through treating that which was described with the made up label, which is false.
But we don’t need relief from “@$%*!”. What’s needed is to use the power of thinking. Isn’t it ironic that it is the power of thinking that got the person feeling these negative emotions? Why give it a label? All it is, is flawed thinking.
Fixing that is simple.
Life experience springs from thoughts we think about it. Best then to think thoughts that feel good.
So what thoughts can we think?
Here are examples of thoughts one can think that will counter negative thinking that comes when confronted with aspects of ourselves we don’t like:
“There are a lots of things about me I do like.”
“I’m going to list those things….”
“This is a process and I’m moving through it.”
“I’m not always going to look this way.”
“If I think about it, I can see how far I’ve come already.”
“I’m making progress.”
Then, when the person feels better from thinking these thoughts, the next step is to amplify that better feeling with even better thoughts:
“Wow, I’m feeling better. Look what I did!”
“This stuff really works!”
“Yay me!”
“Wow, I am feeling even better!”
“That was fast!”
“I feel myself feeling even better now!”
“Wow, those negative feelings are completely gone now!”
“That was easy!”
If the person keeps thinking these kinds of thoughts until they catch themselves feeling better, they will, with certainty, eliminate “@$%*!” from their experience over time. But the person must do this any time they feel an onset of negative feelings mental health professionals have slapped that label on.
Try it now and see for yourself how effective this process is.
It’s like shower and soap
No one’s perfect at this at first. But hey, no trans person is perfect with make up or voice and such from the start. So why expect perfection out the gate with this?
Besides, perfection, in the way humanity thinks about it, is a trap. The perfection of this practice is an ever-becoming-more perfection. That is the basis of self acceptance and self love: knowing you are whole and complete right now. And…getting better with every moment.
“@$%*!” is optional for every trans person. Instead of that trans people can enjoy every moment of their trans experience, no matter what stage they’re in right now.
This process is guaranteed to work because it’s how the Universe works. But like taking a shower, unless we get in the water and employ soap, our results stink. In other words, we must use this process and do so as regularly as we can. Then watch and be amazed.
If you think this is all hogwash, then fine, keep suffering with your “@$%*!”. Again, all that suffering is optional. And if you haven’t tried this process and still have a negative opinion of it, your opinion is completely uninformed because you haven’t tried it. No wonder you might think it doesn’t work. You haven’t tried it!
If you are trying it and need help, contact me. I’ll even talk with you to get you started at no cost to you.
Trans people are here to expand what it means to be human. But if they can’t accept themselves, if they turn to an industry that once saw them –– wrongly –– as abnormal and mentally ill, how are they supposed to actuate that expansion?
Deliberate use of the creation process
If you’ve received treatment for “@$%*!” and are feeling great, then great. Many trans people diagnosed with “@$%*!” have found relief. But remember what relief is! Just because that’s soothed doesn’t mean the problem’s fixed. Those thoughts are still there, swirling around in your head. I know because I’ve worked with trans women being treated for “@$%*!” and have talked with many more.
It’s likely additional thoughts have you feeling disempowered. For example, believing the world around you defines you or what’s possible for you. Or thinking you’ll never meet a man who will accept you.
This “thought process” thing as the origin of human problems is not going to go away simply by treating “@$%*!”. That’s because the “thought process” thing is the basis for the creation of the world you experience.
The cool thing is, when a person deliberately uses this process, she can create literally amazing things. Nothing is off the table! Including having a fulfilling relationship, a large income, or feeling peace about yourself.
I encourage everyone to pay less attention to the opinions of others. Especially the mental health industry. Find your empowerment in your self. I’ve written extensively in this blog (and my other one) how to do that.
Nothing compares to seeing your reality, deliberately created by you, emerging from your thoughts. Your thoughts are the only place all realities emerge. So why not take control of that process and make your world how you want it to be?
