Tag: transamorous

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MORE Results That The World Is Better For Trans People

Bailey Anne Kennedy and her husband both at their wedding (Instagram)

TLDR: The author, who is transamorous, argues once again that the world is improving for transgender people and those who love them. They point to the Miss Maryland USA Pageant Coronation, which happened this month, as evidence supporting their argument. They then conclude by suggesting transgender lives will improve even more when trans people and those who love them adopt optimism and positivity.

The evidence is overwhelming, if you know where to look.

What evidence do I refer to? Evidence proving the world is getting better for transgender people. This time, evidence comes from the stage of a major US tradition: The Miss USA pageant.

Once again, a transgender woman competes in and wins a major pageant title. This time, it’s Maryland. Bailey Anne Kennedy, an Asian-American trans woman, walked down the stage and received her crown for becoming Miss Maryland 2024 this month. Her win represents a number of firsts.

According to news reports, this was her first pageant ever. It’s also the first time in the state that a trans woman won the title. It’s also the first time a woman over 28 won. Kennedy is 31. She’s also the first married woman to compete and win. Kennedy will next go on to compete in the Miss USA pageant in August.

What’s really astonishing about this wonderful milestone is it comes on the heels of another wonderful piece of news we shared back in August last year. Back then we shared news that a wealthy trans woman purchased several beauty pageants around the world. After taking ownership, she changed participant requirements in order to broaden the field of competitors. One of those pageants she owns is Miss USA.

So who is the new Miss Maryland USA? Let’s take a closer look.

Who is Bailey Anne Kennedy?

Kennedy is Cambodian American. She’s a military spouse, whose husband, according to her Instagram, is a Captain in the United States Marine Corps. He graduated both from tanker school and flight school, again, according to Kennedy’s Instagram. That’s two impressive accomplishments. It appears that Kennedy may work or volunteer at the USO as well, which may have been how she met her husband.

Kennedy, who is 31, broke several barriers in her pursuit of the Maryland title. First, her status as a trans woman, obviously. But that’s not a first. Well, it is for Maryland. But several trans women have won similar titles elsewhere.

She follows Marina Machete, who was the first trans woman to win the Miss Portugal title, Rikke Valerie Kolle, who won Miss Netherlands, Kataluna Enriquez became the first trans woman crowned Miss Nevada In 2021, and In 2018, a trans woman, Angela Ponce, competed for Spain in the Miss Universe pageant.

Why this is big

The reason this is big is because these competitions are judged by ordinary people from relevant industries.

Judges in 2022, for example, included Ashlee Clarke, an American businesswoman and producer, Soo Yeon Lee, a South Korean table tennis player and model, Kirk Myers an American fitness trainer, Olivia Ponton, an American model and social media influencer, Aaron Potts, an American fashion designer and Nicole Williams-English a Canadian fashion designer and model.

So trans women competing against and winning over cisgender women shows, to me anyway, growing acceptance that transgender women are women.

Additionally, a Miss USA title is just fluff. Winners travel the world as ambassadors. They promote charitable causes of their choosing. They also enjoy nearly unlimited opportunities as models and spokeswomen. All this means VISIBILITY. And visibility is a powerful social change agent.

So there’s a growing roster of trans women competing and winning in beauty pageants and those women are becoming more visible in the world. That’s a great thing.

Back to Kennedy

And even though trans women are making significant inroads here, Kennedy is more than that. As we said, she is the first woman to win a pageant title at her age (31) after pageant officials open the competition to anyone over 18. Before this change, only women under 28 could compete. Oh, she’s also married, which is another pageant first. That she’s married to an American military officer is another first.

Kennedy has high aspirations since winning. She wants to role model opportunity for other women and girls, trans women particularly, and advocate for veterans, which makes sense given that her husband is a Jarhead and she appears to work or volunteer for the USO.

Kennedy her husband and their dogs (Instagram)

It’s happening and it’s all good

At least one news report included in their coverage a rolling tally of the number of trans women still facing violence and discrimination. We’re not going to do that here at The Transamorous Network. Instead, we want to focus on all the awesome evidence proving the world is improving for trans people.

Yeah, there’s some fear and insecurity causing people to act out against these wonderful people. But that’s not the majority of people, as we reported earlier. And while there are lots of people focused on what needs improvement, we take a different approach.

We know the more we focus on the positive, the more positively the world looks to us. We encourage trans women and those who love them to do the same. Because when we all do, our lives get better. And honestly, we can’t help anyone when our life sucks.

So let’s focus on the positive and celebrate yet another awesome milestone. A milestone proving once again that the world is getting better for trans people.

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No, Sexual Abuse Doesn’t Create Trans-Attracted People

Photo by Susan Wilkinson on Unsplash

TL;DR: The author shares a commenter expressing dismay about how trans attraction is depicted in the Netflix series “Baby Reindeer”. The author then uses that comment to show how the trope that trans-attracted people are sexual abuse victims represents shallow thinking on the part of those expressing such views.

Back in May I gushed about the Netflix Limited Series “Baby Reindeer”. My focus, obviously, wasn’t on the main plot, but the sub plot; that being the main character “Donny’s” trans-attraction. I gushed about it because I thought the entire series did a great job describing how shame and self-loathing can create a truly, sucky life.

Which is exactly what Donny lived.

While writing that series of posts, I received an interesting comment from a trans-attracted guy. The comment made a point I hadn’t considered. I hadn’t considered it because I don’t believe the point the writer made about trans attraction or about the show. So the point went right over my head.

I’m glad then, that the commenter made the point. It’s worth taking a closer look at it.

So let’s take a look at what he wrote, then unpack what he’s saying.

The comment

Reading between the lines of his comment, it’s clear the writer isn’t ashamed of his trans attraction. Not only that, it seems he’s out about it. That’s great. So here’s what he had to say. I’ve added some clarifications [in brackets] for reasons that will be obvious:

I was baffled at first that people kept asking me if I’d seen Baby Reindeer – I’ve never seen *any* must-see TV shows. Then I realised there was this cis-trans relationship subplot. People I know wanted to know how I felt about that because they know of my own orientation and dating experience…

I thought [transgender actress] Nava Mau’s performance was fantastic and [her character] “Teri” was probably the only likable and relatable person in the show tbh. But I did feel that the show let her down in plot terms. No exposition at all for *why* the main character decided to go on a trans dating site. In an ideal world, sure, it would be unremarkable, but in the real world, it’s obviously not something everyone *just does*. And in that absence of explanation it felt uncomfortably like we were supposed to see it as some kind of sexual trauma response to his previous experiences as revealed in ep. 3. When, after their split, he hardly seemed to give her another thought, that seemed to reinforce that she was almost just a plot device to show him going through stages of trauma and self-questioning.

Given that it’s based on a true story, of course, that may just be a reflection of this individual’s reality. And yes, that reality may reflect a wider reality of a lot of cis man/trans woman relationships. But I guess I’m just disappointed that the plotline in that regard always seems to be one of trauma, hangups, internalised shame, etc. That’s not at all my experience in my own relationship, and I’d like for once to see that portrayed!

So as representation goes, yes, Teri was a triumph, but as a portrayal of a relationship between a trans woman and a trans-attracted man I felt it was a lot less positive.

Shallow thinking creates condemnation

I really like this guy’s perspective. And, he’s right. I believe a trend exists in the minds of people that trans attraction is a response to some unsavory past. Often, that past includes sexual “trauma”. And while that may be true for some, I don’t think that’s true for the majority of trans-attracted men.

The commenter, clearly, hasn’t had that experience. As well, most of the men I’ve worked with also don’t have sexual “trauma” they’re responding to. Many of them did experience an event which surfaced what may have previously been unconscious orientation behavior. But sexual abuse “trauma” doesn’t create trans attraction in people.

Take me, for example. I didn’t realize my trans-attraction until a girlfriend in Japan took me to a bar that featured trans go-go dancers. That doesn’t qualify as sexual trauma or abuse. But it did open my eyes to an aspect of who I was.

One could say the trope that trans-attracted men trans attracted because of past sexual abuse parallels the idea that trans women are just “men in a dress”. Like the latter, the former offers no introspection or analysis. Nor does it reveal any effort on the part of the speaker to understand trans attraction, nor the men (and women) who orient that way sexually. Such comments don’t point to a truth. They just represent shallow thinking on the part of the person expressing them.

Which is why they’re worthy of us ignoring them.

Another trope needing examination

Trans-attraction is just as valid as any other sexual orientation. For transgender people, it is an important orientation. That’s because such people represent perfect matches for trans people. And because of that, trans people can find love they desire.

I’ve written before about how every sock finds its shoe. The way the Universe works, no aspect of being goes unmatched. There always exists someone to match someone who wants to match with someone.

Now, some people do exist for which no match exists. Such people eventually discover they are happier without relationships. I’ve known women who, after dating men and women, for example, discover their best relationship is with themselves.

That’s a great realization to come to. But it often comes after trial and error. Because all of us are conditioned so strongly to have a relationship. Otherwise something is wrong with us. And that’s another expression that’s gone without much examination.

A lot more happiness would exist if people didn’t try fitting themselves into the box the peanut gallery prescribes. That goes for trans people, trans-attracted people and everyone else.

Stories DO create reality though

All that said, I did have a client who believed part of his experience in desiring trans women came from what HE considered to be sexual trauma involving a relative. After looking at what happened over several months, however, we discovered a couple things about that experience. One, such sexual experimentation between relatives is very common. It’s not sexual abuse. And two, his role in it was far less offensive than he was making it.

In other words, his stories about what happened shaped his judgments about what happened. They also shaped his self-judgement. A self-judgement so harsh he contemplated suicide many times.

These days, however, this client is becoming more and more free of his negative stories. As a result he’s finding himself more comfortable accepting who he is, what he likes, and what happened in the past.

And that’s the point of all of this. Our stories create our realities. That’s why it’s so important looking at the stories we have. Looking at them we change those that create experiences we don’t like. Every experience we don’t like comes as a result of beliefs we hold. That means any experience we don’t like we have the power to change.

I think Donny, the main character in Baby Reindeer showed us this. By changing his stories he came to embrace who he was. The result not only transformed his life, it also produced a sensational hit streaming show.

Read my series on that show here: Post one, post two, three and four.

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Why People Are Better Off Avoiding Being Vulnerable

Photo by Hasan Almasi on Unsplash

TL:DR: The author asserts that vulnerability isn’t key to relationships as many mental health and relationship experts claim. Rather, it’s actually a problem, the author says, especially for trans and trans-attracted people. They then explain why it’s better to focus on one’s thoughts and beliefs in order to create better relationships. In doing so, people get everything they want: better relationships and freedom from fear that comes with trying to be vulnerable.

Vulnerability. Mental health and relationship “experts” claim it’s something special. They say it’s something we all should practice in order to thrive in relationship. But trans and trans-attracted people know being vulnerable is hard, scary and not very fun. After all, who wants to be seen as something other than what the mainstream tells is us ok?

Indeed the very act of being trans or trans-attracted demands a level of vulnerability most people needn’t face. It can literally be a life or death decision. But is vulnerability really the key to happiness, relationship success and more? Or is something afoot here that can disempower trans and trans-attracted people?

In this post, let’s explore why vulnerability is a myth and how dispelling the myth can help us live more joyfully. Along the way we may just also discover the key to everything else we want.

Why experts vaunt vulnerability

Vulnerability is both feared and praised. We fear it because it implies possible rejection. As said before, it also can lead to terrifying consequences. Then again, society praises it because we’re told to. Being vulnerable can also feel good because we’re putting ourselves out there honestly. And doing that can feel good. For most though, it’s usually terrifying. So much so, people won’t do it. Especially trans and trans-attracted people. Which explains why so many trans women want to pass and trans-attracted men live on the DL.

But what is “vulnerability” exactly? The definition doesn’t seem to imply something praise-worthy:

So it would seem, based on the definition, that being vulnerable is a bad thing. So why do experts vaunt it so much? One source suggests being susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm, increases intimacy and trust. Not being vulnerable, it says, can lead to emotional distance, disconnection and resentment.

It would seem being vulnerable then is essential to good relationships. But is that really the case?

Rejection inherent in vulnerability

The trouble with saying it improves relationships is that being vulnerable usually requires a quid-pro-quo situation. I would suggest everyone would be vulnerable in a relationship….if their partner were equally vulnerable. That’s the trouble. No one really wants to subject themselves to physical or emotional attack. It seems extremely logical to me, then, that no one wants to be vulnerable in a relationship either. Which explains why people aren’t.

But there’s something about this vulnerability thing that runs afoul of what’s really happening in physical reality. It’s that being vulnerable is based on something that isn’t happening in reality at all. Well, it IS happening. But only because people believe it’s happening. And that belief is what perpetuates fear associated with being vulnerable.

In other words, the potential consequences of vulnerability is what keeps people from being vulnerable in the first place. Replace the word “vulnerable” with a different word, however, and the whole calculus changes.

What word do we suggest? How about authenticity.

That’s right. If instead of thinking about being vulnerable, we think of being authentic, then we go a long way to easing fear that comes with being vulnerable. The problem remains however, with the essence of what both words conjure: the risk of being harmed. And in most relationship cases, that “harm” looks like “rejection.” Although for trans people and some trans-attracted men, it can be much more than that.

Still, let’s unpack this some more.

Our thoughts make it so

In order to be vulnerable, a condition must first exist. That condition is risk. In other words, the person considering being vulnerable or authentic must first believe there is something they may be rejected over. Rejection can feel bad, but a reframing of the story we tell when “rejection” is experienced can cause that bad feeling to turn into appreciation.

What if, for example, someone rejects us because we share something intimate about us? Does that mean anything? What does it mean about us? It means nothing really. We shared authentically. That person chose something else. In this situation, both parties are better off. We’re free to connect with someone who accepts us. The other party is free now to connect with someone they connect with.

Where’s the harm in that? But when we think the rejection means something about us, then we feel bad.

Now trans and trans-attracted people face a much more complicated situation. Especially trans people. That’s because they have other – legitimate – fears of actual physical harm. Those fears must also be resolved. Those fears come from valid beliefs for sure. But replacing those beliefs with other equally valid ones can be liberating.

We can see, then, it’s what we think about being vulnerable that makes it scary. We think being that way brings risk. The belief isn’t false. But better feeling beliefs aren’t either. And those better feeling beliefs can change our experience.

Our thoughts make everything. Including the need to be, and the fear of being, vulnerable.

Preferring rejection

Being vulnerable means having to take a risk. Hardly anyone wants to take risks. But if there is no risk in being authentic, if instead there’s everything to gain, I would say many more people would be that way.

Again, the problem is the thoughts people have about rejection and what they think that means.

Vulnerability then, isn’t the problem. Making it into a venerated way of being is. Because doing so makes it seem doing something we’re scared to do is something worth doing. It’s not. Instead, it’s better to develop a new set of beliefs around being so that acting authentic is preferable to not acting that way.

That’s easy to do. And it’s not scary. When we do it, the vaunted idea of being vulnerable becomes meaningless. And when that happens, we’re free; free to be who we are. Whether people take that or leave that is up to them. It’s not our problem.

So there’s nothing special about being vulnerable. And, with a little tweaking of our thoughts, we can eliminate that concept from our minds, thereby freeing us to be. Now let’s turn up the woo a bit and see what we find.

Some would rather have this happen than be vulnerable. But there’s a better approach to vulnerability. (Photo by Hasan Almasi on Unsplash)

Finding power in changed belief

Believing vulnerability is a thing presupposes there’s something that can happen to us that’s beyond our control. Usually, that something is bad. For trans people, that includes violence.

But, nothing can happen to us that is beyond our control. We invite everything that happens to us through our thoughts and beliefs. I get that’s hard for a trans person, for many people, actually, to believe. But that doesn’t make the assertion false.

If it’s true, we can see how vulnerability would be a problem. That’s because it presupposes risk. Belief that there’s risk is a belief. That belief will create reality consistent with it. That explains why so many fear being vulnerable. And rightly so. It also explains why it feels scary.

Rejection is similar. There are many thoughts and beliefs around “rejection”. Those thoughts and beliefs, like those behind “vulnerability”, create reality consistent with them. That’s why hardly anyone wants to feel rejected.

Change those beliefs though and the experience changes. This explains why very successful sales people, for example, don’t experience “no” as rejection. They think different thoughts and beliefs around the word “no”. This also proves it’s possible to change our beliefs around things like “vulnerability” and “rejection”. Doing so makes one much more powerful.

Beliefs matter…a lot

So if we invite our experience through our thoughts and beliefs about them, that means something important. It means that being vulnerable isn’t the key to anything. Instead, our thoughts and beliefs are. Indeed, thoughts and beliefs are everything. They literally create the world around us.

The better beliefs we hold, the better our life gets. My clients are discovering this. The more they change their beliefs to positive, empowering ones, the better their lives get. My experience is similar. The more I’ve changed how I think and what I believe, the more my life has improved. So much so, hardly anything “bad” happens to me. And those “bad” things that do happen are so insignificant, I don’t consider them “bad”. They just are.

In a short while, a person can create an ideal life, what I call the Charmed Life. This is true for relationships too. We don’t need to experience risk in relationship. But getting there requires something: not being vulnerable. Being vulnerable is a problem. Instead, what’s needed is a new way of thinking and believing. One that invites only good. Including good relationships, ones matching what we’re wanting.

For trans and trans-attracted people such outcomes don’t come over night. A lot of old disempowering beliefs must first be soothed before evidence of improvement really starts showing itself.

But the more true we are to who we are, the better realities we create, including relationships. So changing our beliefs is worth it. It literally will provide us everything we want.

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More Results On How To Make Money At Will

TLDR: The author asserts they “allowed” the market price of a financial asset to increase solely through their thoughts about the asset. This being the second time they claim to have done such a thing, the author says this validates their trust in a positive mindset. Especially when it comes to manifesting money. They compare their experience to F1 race winners explaining that while manifesting money may seem coincidental, it’s not.

It’s so fun watching my abilities improve as a deliberate creator. Abraham assures us all that anything we can imagine, we can experience as a reality. I’m living proof of that. My clients are too, but my results are astonishing. I’m even able to move markets, apparently.

That’s right. A few weeks ago, I wrote about how I focused my intention so that a financial market would do what I want. Well, a week or so after I did that, I did it again! That’s what this story is about. It’s a followup offering even more proof that we can create any reality we want. We only need focus ourselves into a world of positive thinking.

This offers great value for trans and trans-attracted people. In time, anyone can realize they create their reality. Once enough evidence piles up, they not only get that it’s true they create their reality, but they get more bold about creating the reality they want.

Then they can do literally anything. Including creating lovers, if that’s what they want, or moving financial markets.

Let’s dive in and see how I did it myself…again.

Some background

In that previous experience, I wanted a deeper position on a financial asset I owned. But the current price didn’t allow me to take the position for the price I wanted. So I set an intention that the price would drop to the point where I could take the position for the amount I wanted to spend.

That’s what happened, of course. I wouldn’t be writing this post or the previous one if it didn’t happen! As soon as I took my deeper position, the price when right back up. It was uncanny!

The first time I moved the market. The arrow points to the massive drop I created so I could deepen my position. Then the rebound happened right after I did so.

After that happened, I wanted a couple more things. One, I wanted to see if I could do it again. I also wanted an even deeper position, one just a little deeper than where I was. So that’s what started all this amazingness.

The preparation

The only thing with this even deeper position was, I didn’t want to put ANY money into the deal. Now, many of my clients, when they first start out, they’re stuck in figuring out how what they want to happen will happen. That’s a problem.

It’s a problem because the “how” is not our job! Our job in the universe is to set our intention, then align with that intention’s results. In between those two vibrational acts, the universe goes to work. It marshals the cooperative components necessary to actualize the intention.

As we line up with all that nonphysical assembly, we get impulses to act. We also can receive impulses that sound like messages. That’s what happened to me.

One day after thinking about rounding my position out, I received a message. It wasn’t a voice or a burning bush or anything like that. It was instead a subtle “nudge” that then I interpreted as a thought. The thought was “You already have [a small position on] another asset. Intend that asset will go up, then use the gain to swap into the asset you want.”

When I got that message I perked up. I tell all my clients that such messages come in as though we didn’t think the thought. It seems like it comes out of the blue. That’s not what’s happening, but it does feel that way.

When it happens, I tell my clients, pay attention. Pay attention and take action! That’s what I did.

It happens!

The moment I got that impulse/message, I took action. Now, if you were near me at that time, you wouldn’t have thought I took action. That’s because I didn’t move an arm nor a leg. The action I took was purely vibrational. I causally, very lightly, thought about how nice it would be if the price of that other asset went up.

Then I opened my phone and set an alert on my app. A couple days later I went out on a bike ride. While enjoying the ride, I got an alert on my phone. The price went exactly where I wanted it!

My app alert clueing me in telling me the asset value increased beyond my alert.

I stopped riding, opened my trading app. Holy moly! It went up a LOT!

The market moves according to my desire.

Then I went to my trading platform and planned out the swap. The price had gone so high there was plenty of room to make the swap and still have enough of the existing asset to go forward. I was stoked!

Of course I swapped the assets!

Knowing what I don’t know

Now, here’s something interesting. During all of this, something was happening with the asset I didn’t know about. I found out about it after this whole affair wound up. What happened was federal regulators were considering creating a framework around this asset that would make it easier for everyday people to trade it. Asset proponents knew if the government approved the framework that would be very good for the asset. So people with large positions on it were betting the feds would approve the framework.

That’s what they did. And that’s probably why, experts will say, the asset’s value went up.

I was totally unaware of this though. Obviously, however, in my Broader Perspective, I was aware, which explains why my Broader Perspective suggested what it did.

Now, some may say this federal decision was happening anyway and the price was bound to go up. But no, the federal decision was not a done deal. Furthermore, I knew nothing about the pending ruling.

Still, I thought about the coincidental nature of the impulse and the fed’s timing. But then another thought came up. It was about Formula One.

It’s a win regardless

I love the Netflix series Formula One: Drive To Survive. It gives a thrilling character-driven account of each F1 race season. In addition to it being plain fun to watch, it’s also a great look behind the scenes.

One thing I noticed season after season is, sometimes the race winner wins because of situations not in their control. Other drivers crash, they pit at the wrong time or their team may choose to not put on fresh tires at the right time. Another thing that happens sometimes is the rules governing the race can create situations inadvertently favoring certain drivers over others.

But in all these cases, when the race ends, there’s always a winner. Does it matter how the win happened?

That’s the conclusion I came to about the fed decision and my lack of awareness of it. Yes, the fed decision was happening. But I didn’t know that when I got the message from my Broader Perspective, nor when I set the intention and the alert. I didn’t even look at the asset before I did all that.

So while some may say “that’s just a fucking coincidence! You didn’t move the market!” I say, yeah, and the F1 winner won not because he’s a great driver, but because that other guy chose to crash at the perfect time!

The fact is: he still won. And I still got what I wanted: a deeper position without spending ANY OF MY OWN MONEY TO GET IT! LOL

Making markets do what I want

I love seeing these things happen. It’s so fun realizing my desires. But it’s even more fun participating in divine timing coming from an awareness of all that’s happening, so that when that awareness communicates to me, I can take action then enjoy the world I want.

That’s so fun. And it’s so empowering. I mean, think about it: I am now nurturing the ability to create money! That’s freaking amazing.

But why is it amazing? Money is no different than any other form of energy. And energy is subject to focus and attraction. Since I’m a focusing being of pure energy, I should be able to focus any amount of money into my experience.

And that’s what I’m seeing happen. It doesn’t happen overnight because I, like most people, once held very strong negative stories about many subjects. Stories which create a limited reality on the subject of money.

Money is something we all think we need. So human consciousness contains many disempowering beliefs about money. That I’ve overcome those beliefs is what’s amazing.

Those beliefs, and therefore reality, are yielding to my new beliefs and reality. I love seeing that. And that new reality includes making markets do what I want.

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This Keeps Trans People Believing The World Hates Them

TLDR: The author asserts that trans women doubling down on their negative interpretation of the world do a disservice to themselves. The author also suggests that there are empowered trans women leading successful lives who enjoy their success because they live those lives in appreciation. They then show how momentum keeps some trans people from the life they want to live, keeping them stuck in what they’ve got.

Let’s be clear: There are people out there who do not want to accept that transgender people are a valid expression of humanity. Those same people are riddled with fear about the very existence of “transgender” as a thing and what that thing says about their beliefs.

Ok. Now that that is out of the way we can say this: NEVERTHELESS, THE WORLD IS GETTING BETTER FOR TRANSGENDER PEOPLE. That’s right, the situation is vastly improved. Sure, there’s room to go. But there always will be room to go because that’s what being human is all about!

The cool thing is, when humans put their attention on the fact that things are improving, they can’t help but experience more improvement. Do that long enough and, in time, the human’s life will reflect back to them more improvement. In other words, their personal life will increasingly get better.

And while it does that, there still will be experiences where other people’s lives aren’t improving. I’ll show why in a moment. But the point is, telling better-feeling stories about life improving is worth it. It will literally make our lives better in every way.

So why is it that so many transgender women keep focusing on all the bad? And why is it that if the world is getting so much better for transgender people, so many transgender people don’t see it? That’s what this post is about.

Let’s get to it.

Successful trans people exist

The fact is, life will get better even if we tell disempowering stories about it, because that’s just how life works. But for people telling disempowering stories about life, life gets better much slower. It may even look like life isn’t improving at all. And so, there will be more disempowering things for such people to moan about.

Meanwhile, doing that (moaning about what is) just makes life worse. But only for those moaning. In the meantime, there are many trans people whose lives are getting better. I’ve written and interviewed several. So I know a thing or two about this.

All of those successful trans people don’t tell disempowering stories about themselves or the world around them. They’re too busy focused on what lights their fire. And so their lives fill with more things that light their fire: more success, more fun, more money and more joy.

But there are those trans women doing the opposite. They’re complaining about their lives and the plight of being trans. So they get more things to complain about. Don’t believe me? Or are you getting defensive now because the trans women I’m describing sounds like you?

Well, hang on a moment, it’s going to get more juicy. Because I’m about to give examples.

Advocating for the world getting better for trans people

I write a lot about how the world is improving for transgender women. Why? Because I know that’s happening and want trans women to know it too. I want them to know it because while I focus on all the good stuff happening in my life, my life is improving, in exactly the same way I described above. So I know that if trans women see the world positively, their lives would improve too.

In other words, I’m a huge advocate for trans women. I want success for every one of them. And, I know the best way they can enjoy success is to manifest it.

That’s why last April, I wrote yet another story in the long list of stories I’ve shared showing how great the world is becoming for trans women. The most recent was back in April.

That post responded to a post a trans woman wrote about how the United States is a state of hatred towards trans people, which is total bullshit. To support my assertion, I cited two reputable polling results. Those results show the vast MAJORITY of Americans support trans people, which means the US is a very good place for trans women to live. Totally the opposite of what the author wrote in her post.

What happened next is interesting.

Ignoring the obvious positive data

I decried the author’s focus and exaggeration of the tiny minority of Americans who struggle over accepting trans people. Then I criticized her using that minority opinion to mean that all of American does similarly. And, as I wrote above, I offered overwhelming evidence her views are just not accurate.

What happened next fully supports what you’re reading here. What happened is a perfect example for why so many trans women struggle with life even though they don’t have to.

Here’s what happened: nearly every trans woman who commented on my post ignored the positive data. Never mind my opinion, they didn’t even accept the data! Instead, they doubled down on their perspective that the world is bad for trans people and that people hate them.

At least when I pointed this out to one of the commenters, she acknowledged that that’s what she was doing. But the others, even after pointing out they were doing exactly what I suggested makes trans women’s lives suck, they just kept right on doing it!

It’s no wonder so many trans women struggle with life. They’re unwilling to have anything better! Or better said, they don’t realize they and only they make their lives sucky and that they and only they can use that same ability to make their lives better. How? By looking at how good their life already is.

One poll’s results showing the world improving for transgender people. Yet nearly every trans woman who read the post about these data ignored them and instead doubled down on their belief the world hates them. (Credit: Pew Research Center)

Finding empowerment in blame

Now, I’m not blaming the victim. If you think I am, you should read this post, because there are no victims. Everyone creates their own reality. That’s a statement of awesome empowerment potential. Because if you are responsible for creating the life you have, that means you can create any life you want! Evidence you’re creating your life is right in front of you: it’s your life! No one else is creating it!

I tell my clients all the time the proof they want that they are in the driver’s seat of their lives is the connection between their thoughts and their lives. There is always a direct connection. Sometimes it helps for someone like me to point to the connection. It can be difficult to see your own life this way.

Sometimes, when I share this, trans women will resist the accuracy of what you’re reading by claiming, again, that I’m blaming them for their trouble. Well, they are to blame. But here’s the thing: they also can be empowered by that realization.

And this is the power of belief. It’s extremely disempowering to feel blame about a situation, especially one’s life. That feeling tells us that the thoughts we’re thinking about what we’re thinking about are not helpful.

It’s a whole other, way more powerful place, however, to believe that because we are in the driver’s seat of our lives we can literally create any life we want! It’s even more empowering to put that belief to the test, see the results and feel how delicious empowerment feels.

Yet so many trans women refuse to give it a try.

Why is that? In a word: momentum.

Trans women: embrace your power

Many trans women are overwhelmed by the momentum of their creative powers.

That’s right. We all create our reality. We do that because we are powerful creators with the unlimited power of the Universe at our disposal. But we also enjoy free will, meaning we can do anything we want with that power. Including disempower ourselves.

But the Universe loves us and will always give us feedback about what we’re creating. Which explains why so many trans women’s lives suck. The Universe is urging such people through the feedback that looks like a sucky life to change what they’re doing. Change what they’re doing so they can enjoy life more.

That’s the same message this blog post and all the posts I post are about: getting trans women to embrace their power. Embrace it so they can turn their lives into the joyful lives they knew was available before choosing to coming into the world as a transgender person.

But so many come to these posts, read them, then double down on their disempowering stories. Just as they ignore the Universe’s urgings and keep doubling down on their sucky thoughts. Which is exactly what happened with that post I wrote in April. And probably will happen with this post too.

Even so, I’ll never stop sharing about how great life is. Not how great life can be, how great life is. Even for trans woman. Even though they keep believing the world hates them.