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February 17, 2026February 12, 2026

How Trans-Attraction Offers Potential for True Self Love

TL;DR: The author argues that trans-attraction dynamics repeat not because of blame or fetishization alone, but because relationships mirror unresolved beliefs, requiring lived integration rather than intellectual agreement to transform outcomes.

There is a particular frustration that shows up again and again in conversations about trans-attraction. It appears on all sides. Trans women describe feeling reduced, evaluated, or used. Trans-attracted men describe confusion, shame, and a sense that no matter what they do, they are already suspect. Cis partners describe a persistent sense that something important is being withheld from them. Different positions, same frustration.

What makes this dynamic especially charged is that everyone involved usually feels justified. Each person can point to real experiences supporting their interpretation. The problem is not that anyone is lying. The problem is that the explanations most commonly used to understand trans-attraction do not actually change what keeps happening.

When a pattern repeats, it is asking to be understood, not judged.

Consider Daniel. That isn’t his real name, but his story will be familiar. Daniel is thoughtful, intelligent, and deeply uncomfortable with the fact that he is attracted to transgender women. He’s afraid he’s gay. He does not see himself as predatory nor does he want to hurt anyone. Yet his behavior, when viewed from the outside, often causes exactly the harm he fears. Daniel compartmentalizes his attraction, hides parts of himself, and moves cautiously in ways that feel evasive to others. That’s what feels harmful to those he encounters.

Through all this, what Daniel experiences internally is panic. The moment attraction arises, a cascade of identity questions follows. He wonders what his attraction says about him, how it will be perceived, and whether it will destroy the life he has built. That fear makes honesty feel dangerous. It makes secrecy feel like safety. From that place, he tells himself he will figure things out later, once the panic settles.

For most such men, “later” never comes. Or it comes much, much later…

The Flip Side Persona

Now consider Elena. That also isn’t her real name, but her experience is just as recognizable. Elena is trans, perceptive, emotionally intelligent, and well acquainted with being misread. She has encountered men who treated her as an experiment, a fantasy, or a private indulgence. Those experiences taught her to read signals quickly and to trust patterns more than promises.

When a man approaches her, she notices tone, pacing, and subtext. She listens for hesitation and watches for deflection. Often, she is right. Her discernment has protected her. At the same time, however, something else has quietly happened. Anticipation has begun to replace curiosity. The story about what’s going to happen gets written before it actually happens.

Neither Daniel nor Elena is wrong. Yet when they meet, something familiar unfolds anyway. Daniel senses Elena’s guardedness and feels confirmed in his fear of being seen as dangerous or defective. Elena senses Daniel’s hesitation and feels confirmed in her belief that men like him are “tranny chasers”. Each reaction reinforces the other and the loop closes.

It’s also the point where many explanations rush in. Some name fetishization. Others name transphobia. Some name trauma. Each explanation contains truth. None of them, however, explain why Daniel keeps meeting Elenas who feel closed, or why Elena keeps meeting Daniels who hesitate or misstep at the same moment.

This is where mirror consciousness becomes unavoidable. “Mirror Consciousness” is a new name I’m applying to the approach I use to help clients create lives they love.

Trans-attraction is a function of “mirror consciousness”. It is an amplified version of what happens in all relationships.

Enter “Mirror Consciousness”

Mirror consciousness does not ask who is at fault. It asks what is being revealed. Instead of treating attraction as a moral test, it treats it as a diagnostic field. Certain dynamics activate unresolved material faster than others, and trans-attraction is one of those dynamics. That dynamic affects both trans women and trans-attracted people. It brings questions of worth, identity, and visibility to the surface, in both parties, with remarkable speed.

In that sense, trans-attraction is not uniquely broken. It is uniquely efficient.

Fetishization does exist, and when it occurs, it is real harm. However, not every painful interaction is the result of being reduced to an object. Some pain arises when someone sees a part of us we have not yet learned to hold ourselves. In those moments, discomfort does not come from being used, but from being mirrored.

This distinction matters because the two experiences require different responses. Objectification requires boundaries and exit. Mirror activation requires integration. When everything is labeled fetishization, the object in the mirror is never examined. Instead we project with blame. Meanwhile, the mirroring continues, only with new faces.

Daniel’s avoidance is not the source of the dynamic. It is the symptom of a fractured self-relationship. Until he can relate to his attraction without shame, his presence will feel unstable to others no matter how respectful his intentions. Elena’s vigilance is not the source of the dynamic either. It is the product of experience layered with anticipation and expectation. Until curiosity is allowed back into the encounter, discernment will quietly harden into certainty, negative expectation and, when what she expects shows up, blame.

Blame freezes both positions.

Blame Versus the Mirror

Blame feels protective because it offers clarity. It establishes who is responsible and who is harmed. What it does not do is allow movement, expansion and love. Once Daniel is fixed as a problem and Elena is fixed as a gatekeeper, nothing new can occur. Roles replace relationship. Prediction replaces discovery.

Mirror consciousness, on the other hand, introduces movement by returning causality inward without moralizing it. Instead of asking, “Who is doing this to me?” it asks, “What is this showing me about what is active in me right now?” That question does not deny harm. It changes where power lives. It also creates room for love. Love for ourselves and love for the other.

This shift cannot be achieved through insight alone. The few interested in going beyond repetitive patterns often understand mirror consciousness intellectually long before they trust it. But understanding does nothing here. What moves things forward is confirmation. When someone experiments with changing their internal relationship and observes that what shows up externally changes in response, the framework stops being theoretical.

Daniel notices this when he stops managing how he is perceived and begins relating honestly to his own desire. Without forcing conversations or seeking approval, he finds that interactions unfold differently. The urgency softens. The need to hide recedes. People respond to him with less suspicion because he is no longer suspicious of himself.

Elena notices this when she allows herself to stay present just a moment longer than habits born of pain dictate. Without abandoning discernment, she lets new information arrive. Some encounters end quickly, as they should. Others surprise her. The sameness breaks not because men have suddenly improved, but because her internal orientation shifted.

These changes are subtle. But they are unmistakable to the people experiencing them. People like my clients.

Real Change Through Relationships

This is why the idea of being “emotionally ready” before relationship is misleading. Readiness is not a prerequisite. It is an outcome. Every relationship we enter is one we are already prepared for, even if it challenges us. Relationships are not auditions for love. They are the environment in which love is nurtured, clarified, received and given.

From this perspective, there are no false starts. There are no wrong or bad relationships. There are only stages we move through so that we become more of what we are.

Self-preservation plays an important role here. Many trans women transition because the alternative – suicide – is unbearable. That is not always the case, of course. But for those others, the alternative to transitioning (remaining male-presenting) is an unbearable alternative. More unbearable than facing social repercussions associated with transitioning. So transitioning is more an act of self preservation than self love.

And while self-preservation stabilizes life; it does not automatically change attraction patterns. Self-love, in the deeper sense, alters momentum. It changes what feels familiar and what becomes available. I’m dubious that trans women transition as an act of self love therefore. If it were, transitioning as an act would bring with it new, loving reality experiences reflected in the mirror of life, especially in how the trans woman feels about their life. Such reality experiences don’t usually happen. At least not for trans women I encounter online, through my work and the work of others, like this person’s work.

Experimentation: the Way Out

The same is true for trans-attracted men. Avoidance may protect them temporarily, but it does not resolve the internal split that creates repetition in the mirror. Only integration does that.

Mirror consciousness is not a moral upgrade. It is not about becoming better people. It is about becoming more internally coherent. When coherence increases, the relational field reorganizes accordingly. Learning to tell better-feeling stories about everything in one’s life is the first step to gaining internal coherence.

This framework is not for everyone. It does not comfort anger. It does not validate “truth”. It does not provide villains. What it offers instead is authorship based in love. For those exhausted by repetition, that tradeoff becomes appealing.

When the mirror is seen, the pattern does not need to be fought. It dissolves on its own.

Trans-attraction will continue to be discussed, debated, and moralized. Those conversations have their place. For people ready to stop cycling through the same sucky relationship dynamics, or the dynamics comprising their life experience, a different lens is required. One that cannot be adopted through argument, but only through lived experimentation.

Understanding this intellectually changes nothing. Living it changes everything. If you’re ready to live it, I invite you to contact me.

July 9, 2024June 3, 2024

How To Easily Destroy “Gender Dysphoria”

TRIGGER WARNING: The following is for REGULAR followers of The Transamorous Network. Having background in our material will help navigate the following, highly effective, yet controversial information. If you don’t have experience with our material NAVIGATE AWAY FROM THIS POST.

An interesting question to think about: the term in the title of this posting, which we will not use again because we wish to ignore it, came from somewhere (let’s replace that term with “@$%*!”).

It came from the same folks who once said transgender (AND gay AND bi) was an “abnormality” and a “mental illness”.

Now, of course, we know they were wrong. But how many people suffered and died or faced literal torture under edicts pronounced by mental health “professionals” and the scientific community?

Given that, why on earth would a transgender person go back to the same people, people who got it wrong time after time, and then accept their diagnosis that the transgender person suffers from “@$%*!” ? That term is not something trans people suffer from.

Suffering is an emotion. Physical suffering is an extension, an expansion, of emotional suffering. And all emotions tell us something we must know to get what we want.

All suffering happens when one tells stories incompatible with what we are (divine beings). Suffering also happens when one wants something, but thinks in ways that counter what they want. You’re a regular reader of this blog, so you understand this.

So let’s look at this “@$%*!” from a new perspective. One that can liberate trans people from medications, mental health visits and suicidal urgings. In other words, this article offers a powerful perspective that can allow trans people to live happily in their own skins. Happy and confident with what they are as they expand into something more.

A purposeful discomfort

People are whole and complete. Everyone comes into the world knowing this. They still are this, but they quickly forget. The stress some people feel when they perceive variation between what they know about themselves, and what they thinkothers think about them, can knock them off their knowing. That’s where the variation comes from: They’re considering what they think others think about them. That’s the problem. Not “@$%*!”

Now, I get, some other people’s opinions matter. Or, rather, we make them matter. The problem with that is, when we do that, we set ourselves up for major trouble down the road.

“@$%*!” is variation, manifest inside us. It comes from thinking in a particular way about one’s self. A particular way that does not accept and honor the process of becoming more of what we all are.

The experience “@$%*!” describes is a signal the person experiencing it gives to themselves. That’s right. Humans think they are an integrated, single entity. That is not accurate at all. We are at least two consciousnesses (we are many more than that).

One aspect of that “we-ness” is our human consciousness, our ego. The other, more important one, is that timeless, eternal state of being from which we came and to which we will return.

That part of us constantly communicates with us, here, in earthly experience. It’s extremely important. Not being able to hear it and follow its communication is what leads to all trouble humanity faces. Not knowing that communication is happening also creates “@$%*!” in trans people. That’s because when that discomfort happens, the person experiencing “@$%*!” thinks something is wrong with them.

But nothing is wrong with them!

A divine knowing something’s up

What’s happening is they’re thinking thoughts that vie with what they want. Specifically, they want to know themselves as a woman (we’re writing specifically about trans women, but this applies to all trans people). And, they want others to see them that way too.

But dominant thoughts (and experiences attracted from those thoughts) tell them they are not women. Those two experiences – thought and experience emerging from the thoughts – create discomfort. That discomfort is a signal; a signal they put there on purpose.

God, the Universe, the higher power, whatever you want to call it, doesn’t make mistakes. Everything emerges perfect. Not perfect as in “complete” or “done”. But perfect as in “ever expanding, eternal, ever new, ever more.”

So this idea being expressed as trans is not something wrong. The person wasn’t born in the wrong body either. That happened on purpose. That purpose brings tremendous value. Value to the individual, to those around them, to the world and the Universe at large.

Built into the perfection we all share comes this signal we’re tapped into. It’s there so we can respond positively to it. And we knew, before we incarnated, that, if we did, over time, we would benefit from listening to the signal. We would become more of what and who we are. We’d live more authentically. As we lived more authentically, we would also benefit countless other people. Our example would call others towards what and who they are. And, we knew we’d thoroughly enjoy every single step of this process.

We also knew we would get everything we want.

The knowing was there

Transgender people nearly all report early on in life knowing they were trans. They may not have known the word “trans”, but they knew something was up. At that moment, they were tuned to the signal.

But the world around them had them disbelieve what they knew with absolute, divine clarity: that they are ok the way they are. However, instead of focusing on the signal and what it tells them, these folks looked outside themselves for help with what’s going on inside them. That’s the problem.Not “@$%*!”.

The majority of people “out there”, have their own problems. They’re looking for people to harmonize with. Seeking solidarity with those people, whether professionals or peers, can feel like it helps. That help can feel like relief.

But “relief” is not enough.

Relief keeps us coming back for more of that. The experience of relief is defined by that which one seeks relief from. So relief is not freedom from what defines it. In other words, the person feeling relief remains trapped by that which they get relief from.

The power of self acceptance and self love

What trans people really want is self acceptance and self love. Not relief. Most forget this is available. Almost every trans person has forgotten this. Same with trans-attracted men, by the way.

Well, it’s time to remember!

When someone feels the way the label “@$%*!” triggers, how do we feel? Most will feel, at first, relief. They finally (think) they know what’s happening in or to them. But in short order, stronger, negative feelings will replace this relief. Why? Because, again, relief is defined by that which one seeks relief from.

Despondent, depressed, insecure, self-conscious, vulnerable, ugly, annoyed, etc., are what those with “@$%*!” feel among other things. Of course someone “diagnosed” with “@$%*!” would feel that way. That’s because the label doesn’t fit! It’s not accurate. A person doesn’t feel discord because they can’t reconcile the gender-oriented physical/mental mismatch. They came into the world knowing that experience would happen.

Why do they feel the discord then?

They’re feeling discord because how they’re thinking about the mismatch is mismatched with their inner knowing. They came into the world with this situation baked in, knowing it would offer awesome opportunity to be more of what they are. That opportunity is still there. It’s waiting for the trans person’s embrace. When embraced, gradually, great power comes into the trans person’s experience.

What does that power feel like?

It feels like self love. It feels like self acceptance. Both are extremely influential on physical reality. They’re so powerful, they will transform other people as well as the person feeling it.

So what to do? And is it really easy? Let’s look at that next.

Getting out of the trap

The way out of “@$%*!” is unconventional and, yet, very simple. But it’s not easy. It is guaranteed to work though because the whole Universe works this way. But, like deodorant, we must apply it or our results stink.

We simply tell stories that feel better. Then keep doing that moment by moment, day after day, until our good feelings are just as permanent and recurring as thoughts and feelings associated with “@$%*!” are in this moment. It’s best to do this before getting into the loop of negative stories about “@$%*!”. Because once we’re in it, it’s harder to get out.

At first the practitioner usually doesn’t notice their negative beliefs are active until the practitioner experiences negative emotion. So when they find themselves there, the key is to catch it early.

Say “hmm, I’m feeling negative. What’s the story I’m telling myself that’s causing me to feel this way?” Then look and see. Likely the person is thinking about “@$%*!” or something else triggering the negative signal. When they do that, all the thoughts harmonizing with “@$%*!” become obvious.

For example, a trans woman might look at herself in the mirror, then see something about them they don’t like. Broad shoulders, for example. Narrow hips or a strong jaw line might do it. In a snap, that observation triggers a series of thoughts. That series of thoughts is where the negative emotion comes from. Not “@$%*!” Nor is it the other way around. “@$%*!” doesn’t cause negative thoughts. “@$%*!” is a made up label. A label that’s completely inaccurate.That’s all it is.

The power of thoughts

Now, the person experiencing this wasn’t born not in “the wrong body”. But thoughts they’re thinking about themselves are wrong. Negative emotions tell us that. They also tell us to do something about how we’re thinking.

But by labelling it, “@$%*!” we turn that thought process into a mental illness. That’s not what it is though! What the thought process is, is a clue. A clue we must not overlook.

It’s that communication mentioned earlier in this post telling the thinker to do something about their thoughts. And it’s a positive process; a process designed to move the thinker into more empowerment, self love and self acceptance

So instead, if we catch ourselves as soon as we can, then think different thoughts, in time “@$%*!” will evaporate. It’s that simple. After all “@$%*!” is not real. It’s a made up term used to give relief through treating that which was described with the made up label, which is false.

But we don’t need relief from “@$%*!”. What’s needed is to use the power of thinking. Isn’t it ironic that it is the power of thinking that got the person feeling these negative emotions? Why give it a label? All it is, is flawed thinking.

Fixing that is simple.

*Life experience springs from thoughts we think about it. Best then to think thoughts that feel good.*

So what thoughts can we think?

Here are examples of thoughts one can think that will counter negative thinking that comes when confronted with aspects of ourselves we don’t like:

“There are a lots of things about me I do like.”
“I’m going to list those things….”
“This is a process and I’m moving through it.”
“I’m not always going to look this way.”
“If I think about it, I can see how far I’ve come already.”
“I’m making progress.”

Then, when the person feels better from thinking these thoughts, the next step is to amplify that better feeling with even better thoughts:

“Wow, I’m feeling better. Look what I did!”
“This stuff really works!”
“Yay me!”
“Wow, I am feeling even better!”
“That was fast!”
“I feel myself feeling even better now!”
“Wow, those negative feelings are completely gone now!”
“That was easy!”

If the person keeps thinking these kinds of thoughts until they catch themselves feeling better, they will, with certainty, eliminate “@$%*!” from their experience over time. But the person must do this any time they feel an onset of negative feelings mental health professionals have slapped that label on.

Try it now and see for yourself how effective this process is.

It’s like shower and soap

No one’s perfect at this at first. But hey, no trans person is perfect with make up or voice and such from the start. So why expect perfection out the gate with this?

Besides, perfection, in the way humanity thinks about it, is a trap. The perfection of this practice is an ever-becoming-more perfection. That is the basis of self acceptance and self love: knowing you are whole and complete right now. And…getting better with every moment.

“@$%*!” is optional for every trans person. Instead of that trans people can enjoy every moment of their trans experience, no matter what stage they’re in right now.

This process is guaranteed to work because it’s how the Universe works. But like taking a shower, unless we get in the water and employ soap, our results stink. In other words, we must use this process and do so as regularly as we can. Then watch and be amazed.

If you think this is all hogwash, then fine, keep suffering with your “@$%*!”. Again, all that suffering is optional. And if you haven’t tried this process and still have a negative opinion of it, your opinion is completely uninformed because you haven’t tried it. No wonder you might think it doesn’t work. You haven’t tried it!

If you are trying it and need help, contact me. I’ll even talk with you to get you started at no cost to you.

Trans people are here to expand what it means to be human. But if they can’t accept themselves, if they turn to an industry that once saw them –– wrongly –– as abnormal and mentally ill, how are they supposed to actuate that expansion?

Deliberate use of the creation process

If you’ve received treatment for “@$%*!” and are feeling great, then great. Many trans people diagnosed with “@$%*!” have found relief. But remember what relief is! Just because that’s soothed doesn’t mean the problem’s fixed. Those thoughts are still there, swirling around in your head. I know because I’ve worked with trans women being treated for “@$%*!” and have talked with many more.

It’s likely additional thoughts have you feeling disempowered. For example, believing the world around you defines you or what’s possible for you. Or thinking you’ll never meet a man who will accept you.

This “thought process” thing as the origin of human problems is not going to go away simply by treating “@$%*!”. That’s because the “thought process” thing is the basis for the creation of the world you experience.

The cool thing is, when a person deliberately uses this process, she can create literally amazing things. Nothing is off the table! Including having a fulfilling relationship, a large income, or feeling peace about yourself.

I encourage everyone to pay less attention to the opinions of others. Especially the mental health industry. Find your empowerment in your self. I’ve written extensively in this blog (and my other one) how to do that.

Nothing compares to seeing your reality, deliberately created by you, emerging from your thoughts. Your thoughts are the only place all realities emerge. So why not take control of that process and make your world how you want it to be?

It’s simple. Not easy. But worth the effort.

March 12, 2024March 6, 2024

How Dune Might Actually Be The Best Trans Movie

Photo by Wolfgang Hasselmann on Unsplash

Editors Note: This story is a Creative Commons reprint of an essay by “jalvarez”, who posted the story on a NYU website under the title “The Queerness Behind Dune’s Kwisatz Haderach”. We’re reprinting it here under the CC license for its timeliness, relevance and entertainment value. We’ve edited it for clarity and style.

It is not possible to say whether Frank Herbert had a transgender agenda in mind when he envisioned Dune in 1965, but his idea of the Kwisatz Haderach, whom his main character Paul Atreides is discovered to be, is a perfect metaphor for the current rhetoric surrounding queer, trans and non-binary bodies.

While Mr. Herbert’s magnum opus has been analyzed and dissected in countless ways and through the lenses of many different philosophical, anthropological and social studies, it is important to point out that ultimately, the author has rested the fate of his galactic world in the hands of a human who transcends gender.

The Kwisatz Haderach, the savior of the Empire, is a trans/non-binary person, and it is actually because and through this subject’s trans-ness that they bring peace to the universe.

What is the Kwisatz Haderach?

Within the magical world of Dune (1965), an elite sisterhood of space witches, the Bene Gesserit, hold to a prophesy: that the sisterhood will genetically cultivate a male member of their sisterhood. That male will end the thousand-year-long feud between royal houses.

The Bene Gesserit, being female, can access only feminine aspects of their consciousness and eternal memories. But this male will be able to access both the male and female regions of knowledge. The Bene Gesserit’s hundreds-of-years-long breeding program eventually fulfills its prophesy: They end up producing their prophet, the Kwisatz Haderach in the human Paul Atreides.

Paul Atreides eventually does evolve female/male consciousness. That consciousness allows him to bridge time and space. With the blending of Paul’s gender also comes unbelievable knowledge and power. By becoming something outside of the gender binary, Paul discovers and launches both a terrifying and thrilling new human reality.

As Elana Gormel says in Science (Fiction) and Posthuman Ethics: Redefining the Human. The European Legacy (2011) “The post-man subject is both a vision of the future and an echo of the past.” (p340) Thus Paul becomes a non-binary, post-human entity capable of all knowledge. With that knowledge comes tremendous power.

Further commonalities with trans people

If gender is indeed a “norm” as Judith Butler says in Undoing Gender, “Gender Regulations,” (2004) and “a norm operates within social practices as the implicit standard of normalization” (p41) Then Paul can be seen as the echo of the gender binary that produced him. The same binary construct that dictates his life. That is, until he assumes the opposite gender’s consciousness.

However, the parallels between Paul’s experience and the trans experience do not end here. Despite being a conscientious person, Paul, like many trans people, is shoved into society’s margins, just as all minorities have been historically shoved in our reality.

Through all this, Paul doesn’t only think like a trans person, his experience very much mirrors the trans experience. Like trans women of color and non-binary folk, he is pushed to the limits of survivability: out into the desert, the wastes of Dune. Dune, also known as Arrakis, is seen as a backwater itself. The Empire only values its spice. The desert waste Paul finds himself in is even more desolate than the planet itself.

But what he finds there is a rich culture, much like trans people find among themselves. A culture that embraces and enriches him, further expanding what he is (the Kwisatz Haderach). It’s in the desert among the Fremen that the Kwisatz Haderach really comes into its fullness. Much like how trans people often blossom once they find their place among those like them.

Exile’s end brings peace

But after many years living and creating a community with all the other unfortunate souls hiding, but thriving, in Dune’s wasteland, it is Paul’s ultimate return to the very mainstream civilization that exiled him that brings an end to an era of conflict.

To quote Butler once again, “Persons are regulated by gender. To veer from the gender norm is to produce the aberrant example that regulatory powers […] may quickly exploit to shore up the rationale for their own continuing regulatory zeal.” Imitation & Gender Insubordination (1990) (p317).

In Dune, the emperor repersents the ultimate of regulatory powers. But he uses the Harkonens and his Sardukar to express those powers. But Paul’s outside-the-binary-norm status grants him sufficient power to resist the emperor. To resist him and ultimately defeat him. In doing so the Kwisatz Haderach introduces a new set of norms.

It could be said trans people undergo a similar path. Not all of them succeed, of course. That must be acknowledged. In fact, a fairly small number do, if we measure success as “significantly influencing a societal expansion beyond binary consciousness.” That influence success often looks like severe push-back from the binary.

And isn’t that what we’re seeing today in the resistance brought towards Dylan Mulvaney and others who achieve mainstream status? How about reactions towards trans kids and their parents?

The rise of the power inherent in trans people

Perhaps this is what Dune’s Kwisatz Haderach represents. After years living on the “outside,” Paul comes back to the palace he once inhabited. He confronts the royals, the Bene Gesserit sisterhood, and the powers that expelled him. He asserts his place as the rightful heir and ruler of the Arrakis. Then he exerts his dominance throughout the empire for thousands of years. It should be noted that his rule goes way off the rails after that. But that’s another story.

We see trans people have this kind of influence today. Laverne Cox, for example and other transgender actresses are influencing Hollywood. Trans women are significantly changing business, science and technology and more. They’re doing so with changes that have altered humankind’s trajectory.

And this is where the metaphor between Paul and the trans experience reaches its apogee. As more trans people own and expresss their authenticity, much like Paul does as the Kwisatz Haderach, we could perhaps bring stability to the increasingly unequal and unbalanced social and economic structures that people find so oppressive. So oppressive they become vulnerable to leaders who use marginalized people as scapegoats for people’s suffering, thereby gaining control over the suffering masses.

Frank Herbert created the savior for his fictional world as the Kwisatz Haderach. Perhaps he was aware that there already is such a being in the real world: the trans people living among us. Perhaps he wasn’t aware. In any case, the comparisons between his Kwisatz Haderach and trans lives are hard to ignore. As is the newest installment of the Dune Franchise, which is in theaters now. Go watch it.

December 15, 2020November 25, 2020

Happiness Is Getting What I Want

I know what I want, when I get it, makes me happy. I also know when I’m happy I set up more future happy moments.

But since every time I get what I want, I am happy, I can just be happy, even when I’m not getting what I want. I can be happy now, no matter what is happening.

This is the basis of our work at The Transamorous Network. I know when I put my happiness first, by telling stories about my life that make me happy, I put myself on a path to having a happy life. That’s because a happy life looks like feeling happy in every moment.

What happens in my life, when I’m not deliberate about choosing happiness, determines how I feel. But life doesn’t have to be that way. I can turn it around. I can choose to be happy, no matter what I’m experiencing, then experience good things always.

I know when I do that my life fills with happy experiences. I know this because I’ve tried it and it’s always worked out that way. I also know this because my Transamorous Network clients get exactly the same results. It’s a bit more complicated than that, but in a short while, I’ve created a life filled with happy experiences. So have my clients. I share these experiences in my other blog, Positively Focused.

So this holiday season, I appreciate what I’ve realized: That life is happy when I am happy. And the happier I am, the more my life shapes to my happiness. In my happiness, I don’t need my life to change. But because I’m not focused on my life needing to change, because I’m not telling stories about how bad my life is, my life changes.

It’s a paradox but it’s true.

I’m grateful for what I’ve discovered. And I’m loving seeing transgender people and trans-attracted people who have come to me seeking relief from their self-loathing, insecurities and shame, find relief and more, simply by telling better stories.

I appreciate knowing life is supposed to be fun, joyful and filled with fulfilled desire. I appreciating having such a life. And I appreciate sharing what I know with others, then seeing their life turn out that way too.

It’s the epitome of living.