As Transamorous Network clients get how important their stories are, they also learn something crucial for living amazing lives: how to identify intrusive thoughts.
Intrusive thoughts are ideas popping up seeming unbidden. They are intuitions which, if followed, lead to everything someone wants.
But if a person doesn’t know how to tune themselves to intrusive thoughts, or they don’t understand where intrusive thoughts come from, life can get pretty crazy, including dating life. That crazy is where “drama” in relationships comes from.
Here’s how to put a stop to that and meet the guy or transgender woman you want.
Intrusive thoughts come from somewhere
Where intrusive thoughts come from is important, because if you don’t know where they’re coming from and you follow them, they could create experiences you don’t want, including drama.
Everyone creates their reality. Most people get a little of what they want and a lot of what they don’t. That’s because they don’t understand what you’re reading.
For example, a trans-attracted man who feels shame about his trans attraction will encounter realities in which the only transgender women he meets match his shame.
They (the transgender women) will be users, or they’ll consider him shady or a “chaser”. They themselves will be insecure and shame-filled (i.e. feeling unworthy) thereby perfectly matching the man’s feelings about himself.
In this humorous clip, a transgender woman gets an earful in her session as we talk (for the first time) about intrusive thoughts. It’s worth listening to because she gets several insights at once, all in less than five minutes.
Everyone is a match
This is why I’m not so interested in meeting transgender women right now. Because while I’m far beyond soothing negative stories that create shame, I want far more in my relationship than an average experience.
I want an extraordinary experience. Having that means I must be a match to it. I must, in other words, become extraordinary myself.
Everyone showing up in our lives matches stories we’re telling ourselves. Those stories determine what impulses, what intrusive thoughts come into our awareness. Our emotions help us know whether to follow an intrusive thought or not. So knowing how one feels is really important.
I know two things tell me how my life is going: what shows up in life now and how I feel.
Paying attention to that helps me understand what intrusive thoughts are coming and whether or not I want to follow them. Following those consistent with my positive stories is creating an increasingly amazing life.
Frustration sometimes happens when I think I’m not getting what I want. It’s frustrating only because I’m telling myself a false story: that I’m not getting what I want. I know many transgender women and trans-attracted men feel similarly.
But that’s not how reality gets created. I create reality by my attention, not by what I want. So to get what I want, I must put my attention on that.
Or, I can focus on what it feels like having what I want – even when I don’t have it – and through putting attention there, gradually tune my stories to what I want. Doing that I see what I want coming easily.
Proof tells me it’s working
Many things happened showing this working. More clients showing up, publishing deals happening, money coming into my life without me having to do anything to get it, and, yes, trans women showing up too.
I’m wanting my ideal match though, so focusing on becoming more of a match to her – that’s my primary focus as far as relationships go.
Some wonder why I don’t have a partner. Since I say this work works, shouldn’t I be in a relationship?
The answer is: I’m not in a hurry. Fine tuning my life, my way of being and my stories so I match my perfect partner – that’s my goal. Not just being in a relationship. Besides, so much fun in my life happens these days, I don’t miss her.
Power lies in that perspective. Why is that?
Because in not missing her, I’m not telling stories focusing on her absence. Knowing that makes a huge difference.
Moving through to love, joy fun
In knowing that, when moments of frustration or impatience arrive, I realize frustration and impatience helps me get what I want. They tell me where I’m putting my attention. Not knowing that, I keep getting what’s frustrating me.
Trans-attracted men suffer from frustration, impatience and sometimes even anger over not getting what they want all the time. The way out is recognizing what those emotions say, then doing something about it.
Do that, and love, joy, fun, happiness – everything we’re wanting – comes easily. And when we’re matches to love, joy, fun and happiness, then the lover we want – who also is loving, joyful and happy – must come too.
Question: I’m transgender. How many days does it take to create something like the perfect man I want in my life?
Short answer: it depends.
An objective reality doesn’t exist. So it’s not possible to answer such a question with a specific number of days and expect that to be “the average number of days” or “the least amount of days” that would be accurate for everybody.
The only reality that exists is the one perceivable by the perceiver. In other words, physical reality is a 100 percent subjective experience. The same is true when creating.
So the number of days it takes to create something like meeting a perfect mate depends on the person’s subjective experience and their stories, which includes how much they doubt or believe what it is they’re trying to create.
If a person has a lot of doubts or resistance about what they’re trying to create, it’s gonna take much longer than if they have pure focus on what it is they’re wanting and they believe what they’re wanting is possible.
For example, I recently enjoyed chatting with transgender women on Facebook about their stories about men. These transgender women, like many transgender women, have strong, disempowering stories about men, about trying to find a man, and about dating in general.
An example of powerful negative stories creating realities this person doesn’t want.
So it’s not likely these women will meet what they want anytime soon.
Also, it depends on what it is one wants. If somebody wants to create something they believe is easy, which is the same thing as saying something they have no resistance about, it can be theirs in a few hours.
But most people don’t have clean stories on topics they consider to be “serious“ or things they really, really want such as a monogamous “straight” man they can spend their lives with.
So, the number of days it takes depends on the desire, and how much resistance someone is holding about the desire. It can take a few hours, or it can never happen.
The good news is, evidence it’s happening is immediate, if you know where to see it. And in seeing the evidence, one gets encouraged. Encouragement speeds up the process, so before you know it, your life IS better.
There’s so much to being transgender or trans-attracted. Both perspectives change worlds. Both bring so much value, I wonder why so many transgender women struggle emotionally, in relationships and life in general. I wonder too why so many trans-attracted men live in shame and embarrassment.
Then I remember how once I lived the same way. That’s why I started The Transamorous Network. It’s here to free trans-attracted men, primarily, and transgender women, so they can live lives they came to live: free of guilt and shame, happy lives where not only they get the love they want, they get everything else they want too.
That’s all out of reach if people in both groups don’t feel worthy. By worthy I mean feeling they deserve everything they want. It’s hard feeling that way though when life shows someone they aren’t getting everything they want.
But that’s why I created The Transamorous Network. Because everyone creates their experience. They may not get what they want now, but because they create their experience – through stories they tell – getting what they want is as easy as getting what they are getting now: what they don’t want.
It works both ways
Feeling worthy while not believing one is worthy isn’t possible. Coming into one’s worthiness happens naturally though when one starts learning how stories create reality, then applying what they learn in their daily life.
Before they know it, life starts showing them how accurate “your stories create your reality” is. The more evidence shows up, one not only feels more empowered, they want more evidence.
Why?
Because getting what one want’s feels so good, especially when one hasn’t been getting what they want for so long, the person just wants more.
In time, so much evidence piles up, a person no longer thinks about “your stories create reality”. It’s just “truth” to them. Just like for many transgender women “all men are chasers” occurs as “truth”.
Feeling worthy is easy
In time, worthiness wells up. When that happens, feeling worthy is easy. Evidence makes it easy. Evidence draws worthiness from within the person. Worthiness is always there. For many transgender and trans-attracted people, their worthiness gets covered up by negative stories.
Worthiness then feels like UN-worthiness.
Finding worthiness allows plenty, including plenty of partners and mates, plenty of money, plenty of everything. And when a person gets to having all that, they naturally express that worthiness in ways that change the world around them.
Everyone is worthy. That includes transgender and trans-attracted people. We come into the world to shape new worlds. The joy of shaping worlds happens when we embrace our worthiness. Our worthiness comes from knowing we create our reality through stories we tell.
Until we make that connection though, new worlds still happen. It’s just not as fun.
A common experience among newer Transamorous Network clients is “split energy”. Here’s why resolving split energy is not only important, it can be a joyful process and create a life worth loving.
But first, let’s look at what split energy is, why it happens and why so many transgender and trans-attracted people don’t know about split energy and thus struggle with it.
What is split energy?
Split energy happens when belief and desire conflict with one another. It can also happen when a person stands in two different, opposite stories at the same time.
For example, a trans-attracted man might want a transwoman as a partner. That’s a story creating certain desires and impulses. But that same man might have a story saying transgender women are actually men, or, that being attracted to transgender women makes him gay.
He might also believe (a belief is a story) that giving up his marriage (to a cisgender woman) in order to be with a transgender woman would be too great a burden to bear.
Split energy means having a foot in two different story camps, or telling stories that conflict with desires. Split energy often feels like confusion, uncertainty and anxiety. (Photo by Sherise VD on Unsplash)
One client, for example, believes transgender women are not serious about having a serious monogamous relationship, so he only meets transgender women matching that story. Meanwhile, he believes his wife can’t live without him and if he divorces her, she’ll fall apart. It’s no wonder he feels anxiety, stress and indecision about his trans-attraction, born of split energies of wanting a transgender woman, believing they’re just fantasies, and needing to stay with his wife.
Those examples show how a man might have split energy. What split energy might a transgender woman have?
She might have a story that she wants to be with a man, yet believes all men who desire her are perverts, scum, or “chasers”. Or she might have the story that she can’t get a job because she’s trans, but also wants a job. So the men she meets are perverts and scum, and she remains unemployed, struggling and alone.
It should be obvious split energy also happens when someone has a desire they don’t believe is fulfillable. They don’t think their desire can happen. Desire existing alongside disbelief creates split energy too.
Why it’s a struggle
Many people struggle with split energy while not knowing they’re struggling. They think negative emotions indicating split energy – confusion, feeling uncertain, anxiety, insecurity and more – are just part of life.
But life is supposed to be fun, easy and filled with desires that fulfill themselves. Actually, that’s what’s happening all the time, even for someone with split energy.
But a person with split energy creates over and over, the reality containing and reflecting back to them, the combination of their split energy. That’s why nothing seems to change for the person, or why things change, but often stay the same or get worse.
In other words, life SUCKS when split energy dominates.
It’s more common than you think
Many popular communities generate split energy situations. Religions are a major culprit. Religions as sometimes practiced, contradict beliefs that are normal, wholesome and good. But some people in these organizations, especially trans-attracted and transgender people, but not only such people, create split energy when their natural, normal, wholesome desires contradict religious doctrine.
My clients who are Christian or Jewish struggle with stories taken from their religion. Their religious upbringing keeps them feeling unworthy, fearful, in shame, and in self reproach because religious teachings do not allow or agree that certain desires are natural, normal, wholesome and good.
A major source of split energy are religions combined with an authentic self at odds with religious doctrine. (Photo by Dejan Livančić on Unsplash)
I know some people practicing religion-inspired beliefs do not have that experience. I’m not saying that religion is bad across-the-board. So if you are a believer, a Christian or a Jew, and you’re happy, then enjoy your happy life. 😌
People who do come to me seeking what I offer, who also have backgrounds in religion, struggle at first with split energy generated from their desires and their religious beliefs.
You are god in a human body
For example, it’s very difficult for a Christian or a Jew to believe they are God in a human body creating reality as they move through life.
It’s difficult for some Christians to accept that they can fulfill all their desires, especially desires Christianity tells them are sinful or bad or will send them to hell.
Clients brought up in religion literally have one foot in their religious beliefs, and another foot testing the waters of something they know holds promise. They want their desires, but their religion says their desires are “sinful”. That’s split energy born of conflicting stories.
My mentor adds a beautiful dimension to all this:
“Continuing to tell stories of [for example] shortage only continues to contradict your desire for abundance, and you cannot have it both ways: You cannot focus upon unwanted and receive wanted. You cannot focus upon stories about money that make you feel uncomfortable and allow into your experience what makes you feel comfortable. A different story will bring different results: My thoughts are the basis for the [fulfillment] of all things that I consider to be good, which includes enough money, and health, for my comfort and joy.”
– Abraham
Other split energy sources
Religion isn’t the only source that can create split energy. Beliefs adopted from one’s parents or one’s culture often create split energy.
One of my client’s parents, for example, raised her to believe a woman must serve her family to the exclusion of her own desires. She is a powerful woman and is embracing this new approach I offer. As a result she is moving quickly through soothing these old beliefs.
My client learns how good it feels focused on oneself. An example of how good it feels cleaning up split energy.
And yet she finds it fascinating how much her old beliefs cause resistance in her which feels like a “struggle” to her. Her old beliefs tell her serving her own selfish desires is bad and wrong. In fact, there’s no better way to be in service to others than when one selfishly pursues one’s desires.
Why selfishness is good
Putting both feet in the “taking care of me” camp results in maximum connection to one’s Broader Perspective, that part of us that knows everything we want, where it is and how to get it. And it is that maximum connection that allows all that one desires to flow effortlessly into one’s life experience, including impulses that, when followed, put you squarely in a fulfilling desire’s path.
“Taking care of me” creates a life experience of joyful exuberance. One sees life experience shaping to the new stories, morphing from the old one and becoming the source or the foundation of a blissful life.
The blissful life leads to self love. And when one loves oneself, it is simple, easy, and joyful loving others. And being selfish, you become the most generous person anyone knows.
Integrating one’s stories so they all reflect what one wants creates wonderful epiphanies, seemingly amazing coincidences. Clear indisputable manifestations are so convincing, you get that life is meant to be fun.
Joyful non-resistance
Split energy resits fulfilling desires. Releasing resistance by cleaning up split energy uncovers every human being’s natural joy. The more a person stands with both feet in that joy, the more blissful their life gets. All of my clients experience this to one degree or another.
The Universe stands ready to deliver to anyone a life consistent with their goodness, their worthiness, their natural connection to the joy of being.
Everyone experiences the joy of life. Bogus stories mask that experience. Split energy results. Cleaning that up starts with wanting to clean it up. The rest happens automatically.
