A Client Gets A Relationship, Part 2

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Welcome back.

Last time I wrote about Joe (not his real name) a client who met his ideal match in a transgender woman. Joe was excited about this. He felt the Universe designed this gathering.

It did.

But the “why” wasn’t what Joe thought.

This post details what happened after Joe’s initial excitement and enthusiasm. It also sheds more light on our framework. Why it is so powerful. And why we guarantee you’ll get your ideal match.

That and a whole lot more. Let’s get started.

• • •

By his ninth session, Joe’s enthusiasm disappeared. He was low-energy. Not the excited person from our cancelled seventh session.

Turns out Cassandra (not her real name either), the transgender woman he met, hadn’t spoken to him in a while. Despondent, Joe had all kinds of negative stories about why. Stories about the experience. Stories about himself. Stories about our approach.

Joe’s grumpiness matched all these stories. Joe thought something went wrong.


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Nothing went wrong.

Instead, Joe’s life experience showed him what he must change if he wants his ideal partner. Remy says this all the time. If you want your ideal match you must become a match to them.

Joe is not yet a match. So he drew to himself someone who matches where he is. The gift of this perfect relationship connection is, it showed this to him.

That doesn’t mean he liked what he saw.

But had he been able to, he would have benefitted even more from the experience.

Life is eternal. You always get more chances so nothing is lost. Nothing goes wrong. Ever.

The relationships with Cassandra didn’t show up as the relationship Joe wanted. But it did show Joe many of his disempowering stories.

And it showed him how his relationship behavior matches those stories.

Joe moved too fast. His stories about relationship scarcity caused had him cling to this relationship. As if there weren’t going to be any others.

Out of his desperation to have a relationship, he asked Cassandra if she was seeing anyone else, implying energetically, of course, that he’d prefer he be the only one she was seeing.

After all, he wasn’t seeing anyone elseBut the reason he wasn’t seeing anyone else wasn’t because he had other opportunities. It’s because he is grasping desperately for THE relationship. Instead of enjoying life.

When Cassandra said she was seeing others, Joe played it off. But it was obvious in our call that answer was not the right one. It did match his stories though.

• • •

We know at The Transamorous Network that stories create reality. We also know momentum of stories told often enough can’t be avoided. That’s not how life works.

To slow old story momentum, a person must tell new stories. New stories which, over time, will build enough momentum in their own right. Meanwhile, old story momentum deactivates. They have less effect on reality. Including one’s behaviors.

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Joe didn’t focus on new stories after that exchange. That focus takes effort, which is why we offer our framework. Joe is only starting. So he doesn’t realize yet how to check in with his emotions early enough to halt old story momentum.

It’s a rare skill among people. Hardly anyone has the discipline and rigor to do such work on their own. Hardly anyone understands why we have emotions. We offer our framework for that reason.

So rather than focusing on new stories he is working on in our sessions, Joe allowed his old stories to continue creating his reality. Disappointment he felt isn’t about how the relationship turned out (it ended). Although that’s what Joe thinks is the reason he’s disappointed. He feels disappointment (and frustration and sadness and more) because he’s focusing on his reality. The reality his old stories are creating.  Realities not matching what he wants.

Again, Joe is just starting. So he doesn’t get how important it is to understand the purpose of emotions. So instead of using his emotions they way they’re intended, he tries to behave in spite of them.

Meanwhile, his behavior faithfully creates outcomes matching his old stories.

For example, one night frustrated in not hearing from Cassandra, Joe drunk-dialed her. That didn’t go well.

Drunk-dialing is a classic knee-jerk reaction to strong negative emotions triggered by negative stories about relationships playing out in physical reality. Thinking that behavior would bring relief, people drink to numb the emotion.

But alcohol amplifies negative emotion. It adds momentum to stories. That momentum draws to it other stories like it. Your stories are living things. Not just words. Stories like company. They draw to themselves stories like themselves. That’s how story or belief constellations happen.

That’s also why drinking to numb pain usually begins a downward spiral. When it comes to a “failed” relationship, that spiral often includes drunk-dialing.

Remember, in the last post I cautioned Joe about what was happening. I said Cassandra was a perfect match to Joe’s stories. That she is a perfect match is an excellent indicator.


What do I mean by that?

I mean, Joe got to see exactly how his stories create his reality. A reality which includes transgender women not all that interested in Joe for Joe.

To Joe, she seemed interested. At first. But later she wasn’t.

By our ninth session, Joe was not in a good place at all. He couldn’t see the extraordinary benefit of a relationship like the one he got.

• • •

Then one day, Cassandra contacted him after a long absence. He said she asked him to pay for something for her. Joe didn’t have the money. He hasn’t heard from her since telling her so.

Of course, Joe’s old beliefs showed up again. “That’s all she wanted me for”, He told me during our session.

That story can be extended more broadly about all his relationships with transgender women, women who usually are sex workers.

Joe left session nine pretty negative.

If Joe continues the work, this could be a turning point for him. His stories are screaming out loud. Now that he has some grounding in “Stories” and how they create reality, he is getting first hand experience in his own life experience how stories do that.

He’s not happy about that.

But this is the process. It’s how it works.

I reminded Joe his unhappiness is an emotion telling him something important. It’s telling him his stories about this situation aren’t consistent with what’s really happening.

Again, of course, Joe didn’t want to hear this. He defended his stories as “true”, which they are. But he refused to understand that they are only true because his stories have created a reality consistent with them. They are no more true than any other story he might tell often enough to create momentum and a new reality consistent with that.

And that is the work. Using one’s life experience as a living classroom, our framework shows clients how to tell new stories. New stories told frequent enough so their reality changes to match them.

Then they have a new truth. A life experience that contains everything they want.

Including their ideal partner.

Joe is continuing the work. We’ll see whether his relationship with Cassandra was the last one he’ll let his old stories dictate.

How To Easily Create an Awesome Love Life

We believe transgender people and those who love them can easily and effortlessly meet one another.

It doesn’t have to be hard. It doesn’t have to be expensive. And it can be fun!

Apparently, there are a lot of people in the transgender community who would love help finding love. Maybe you’re one of them.

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You love life should be fun. And easy.

With viral stories of transgender people finding their partners (mostly trans-trans relationships) those in the trans community could be lulled into thinking everything is hunky dory as far as dating-while-trans or trans-attracted is concerned.

Until one thinks of their own experience.

Even if you’re a celebrity and transgender, you’re likely to be involuntarily, chronically single.

Transgender, supermodel and still can’t find a partner. (from Google)

What about transamorous guys? Fugetdaboutit!

We’ve gotten a calls from all kinds of people, asking for help them with their love life. Cis men, cisgender women, transgender women, even transgender men have called us. There are a lot of people looking for love.

Perhaps they’re looking for you!

• • •

We’ve been thinking for some time of offering a service to help single people in the transgender community easily and effortlessly find their mates.

We know how frustrating it can be using online dating sites or going to bars in hopes of finding The One.

Make no mistake, those approaches can work. But it’s usually no fun. It involves a lot of heavy lifting, trial and error and, frankly, kissing a lot of frogs.


And, if you haven’t got your stories straight, those relationships tend to not work out anyway…

• • •

Long ago, Perry learned that when one person calls a company asking for something, there are usually more who have the same need, but won’t call or write.

We know there are a lot of frustrated, tentative and yearning people out there. To those people: you’re not alone. You can have the love you want.

Our Match-making service can help.

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Transgender community: Finding your ideal partner can be easy…and fun!


We are so confident this works, we are offering a money-back guarantee.

Thats right! We’re so sure it works, we’re guaranteeing it.

If you’ve tried all the usual ways to find a partner, remain single, are married but find your trans-attraction undeniable, or if you are disappointed with your dating results, you might want to try a different way.

Insanity: doing the same things over and over and expecting different results.

Our Match-Making Service Can Help!

Here’s what we know:

  • We know your daily life is the best place to meet your ideal partner. Actually, it’s the only place. After all, even if you are swiping right, you still end up meeting…in your daily life
  • We also know you are constantly being offered by your Inner Being, the Universe and All That Is, everything you’re wanting (whether you believe that or not, that’s what is happening). The only reason you’re not getting it (“it” in this case being the person you’re wanting to be in relationship with) is because you are telling yourself stories which prevent you from meeting that person.
  • For example, we just talked with a woman last night who has the story “everyone has flaws”. Guess what kind of people she’s been meeting? Alcoholics, emotionally unavailable people, gold diggers (she’s apparently has some money).
  • So it’s not the unavailability of people who want to be with you that’s the problem. They are out there. And they want to be with you.
  • The problem is the stories you’re telling. They are creating situations where you meet people consistent with those stories.

So given these premises, here’s how our plan works:

  • For a reasonable monthly fee, we’ll offer fun and engaging one-hour weekly sessions in which we’ll help you examine your stories, then replace those stories with stories more consistent and supportive of what you want.
  • Interestingly, the evidence we’ve produced in our lives is that when you do this, not only do people start coming out of the woodwork, every other aspect of life gets better too.
  • The weekly sessions are casual, guided conversations where we talk with you about what’s happening in your life. It’s impossible to talk about what’s happening and not have your stories surface.
  • Then we will show you how to easily create new stories consistent with what you’re wanting.
  • Your subscription also gets you access to group sessions held frequently, so you can benefit from hearing others going through similar challenges.
  • After each session, you’ll be encouraged to go about your daily life. With guidance from the sessions you’ll be able to see the signs in your life experience indicating that your life is shifting.
  • Over time, as you get better seeing the signs and telling better stories, you will naturally and effortlessly begin having conversations you haven’t had before with people you haven’t met before.
  • We’ll also offer a Facebook Group or perhaps a more private group online for you to connect with your fellow group session participants outside of the one-hour sessions, share your successes and your experiences along your path.

Essentially, we’re offering a fun, super-easy opportunity to meet your ideal partner in a natural setting (your life) where you don’t have to worry about fake photos, inaccurate or misleading profiles, creepy people, gold diggers or the inevitable yucky feeling that comes along with online dating, or going to bars or happy hours.

And, in the process the rest of your life will get better too.

And we guarantee it. So you really have nothing to lose.

So how much might this cost?

Less than a single, average counseling session. A The Transamorous Network membership is $150 a month for transgender women and $200 a month for men. You get one session a week, recorded sessions for playback later and you can text us on limited basis whenever you need further assistance.

What do you think? Want to know more? Contact us.

Ready to get started? Here’s how:

  1. Subscribe to the service. Click the button below to subscribe securely through PayPal.  Select the right drop down. The selected amount will be billed to you every 30 days thereafter until you cancel your subscription.
  2. Once this step is complete, you’ll be redirected to a page where you can schedule your 1:1 session.
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Men: you gotta understand your love stories


Men (and transwomen). You’re wanting a relationship. Essentially that means you’re wanting love. Do you know what you mean when you talk about “love”?

It’s an important question. Love comes in all kinds of shapes and colors. And definitions. Knowing what “love” is like for you can help you determine if you’re getting what you’re wanting, or what you’re not wanting.

For example, for a long time my “love story” told me that love included fighting, disagreements, coldness, periods of sexual expression, and a smattering of peace. As a result of this “love story”, guess what my relationships looked like?

That’s right, each relationship was incendiary, unstable, and fraught with drama. The sex was good…for a while. But the drama always overwhelmed good sex.

Later I learned a new love story. I learned that love and relationships were a forge designed to toughen and transform hearts into strong independent/interdependent entities capable of “standing on one’s own feet” instead of relying on the love and adoration of another. From that “training” one could love another unconditionally.  This story I learned from a book called The Passionate Marriage.

Unfortunately that story created relationships that were more learning laboratories than nurturing really loving ones. Learning 24/7 is not necessarily a fun thing to do. Especially with your intimate partner.

Today my love story is more akin to real “unconditional” love. It says I have the capacity to love everyone because everyone (including myself) is love. More importantly, the most meaningful love for me, and the least capricious love, comes from within. Not from another person.

That kind of love leaves me free to be. More importantly, it allows my partner to be whoever she is too. It allows me to not be affected by the love or the lack of love I get or don’t get from another person. Which leaves me happy and less susceptible to bouts of dramas, disagreements and misunderstandings. These things still happen sometimes, but I’m far less rocked by them. As a result, my relationship is more calm, peaceful and more joyful, mainly because I don’t look in my relationship to find calmness, peace and joy. Instead, I look within, where calmness, peace and joy is available 24/7.

Your love story is creating your reality in relationships. What is your love story? And is it causing you to look for love in all the wrong places?