Category: Transwomen

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Girls: Why The Fuck Do We Tuck?

TL;DR: This is a guest story written by Kari and published with her permission. Kari shares a story in which she revolutionized a lot of feelings about her body, including feelings about her penis. Along the way, she realized many toxic beliefs she – and many trans women – hold. She then encourages a reaching for greater, more empowering freedom.

I recently found myself at the intersection of two converging trajectories or evolutions and while I can see the outcome approaching fast, I don’t know how I feel about it.

Hold onto your butts, we’re going in….

The first evolution was my discovery of dresses last summer.

I had bought a few dresses over the five years I have been out, but never really worn them. Until last summer, that is.

Some of these dresses were sleeveless and that’s where the problem first appeared.

Comfort in my skin

I had spent the first part of summer wearing short sleeve shirts and the result was a set of very pasty shoulders and tanned forearms.

I looked like a farmer…in a bad way:

You say Farmer Tan, I say Ombré Skin Art

So this summer I decided to even out that tan by spending a few minutes each day in the sun in my bikini. The road to degeneracy is, however, paved with good intentions. Changing into a bikini and then back into clothes mid morning started becoming tiresome. So I started just stripping down to my panties and lying in the sun on our private balcony. This resulted in a nice light tan across my entire body except my butt which was extremely pale.

And that’s how I ended up naked, on the balcony in the sun, daily.

This naked sunbathing made me consider my body and how I felt about myself. The act of slowing down and being quiet outside did make me think that naturists are on to something and I am way more comfortable with myself now.

Ladies, if you ever feel unattractive, spend 15 minutes on your back and 15 minutes on your tummy in the sun daily. By the end of summer you will be more comfortable in your skin. There is just something about having sunshine and a light breeze on your naked skin that improves your confidence. At least it did for me.

And next summer I may join a naturist group.

Okay, so I hope y’all into TMI, because we are about to overshare.

“My filly blunt”

The other evolution is a little complicated. Transition is a slow evolutionary process. During this summer, perhaps triggered in part by my nude sunbathing or other factors, my sexuality, or rather my sexual expression, started to surface again.

Let me explain.

When switching your governing hormone your sexuality does some strange stuff. Since starting HRT my entire understanding of my own sexuality and how I express it has been completely rewritten. There was a period, shortly after I started HRT, where I almost completely lost interest in anything sexual. Then about two years ago a slow process of re-emergence started.

Slowly the lights have been coming on again so to speak.

When this happened I noted a shift in who I was attracted to, how I was attracted to them and how I thought about and experienced sex.

I also started to engage with my sexuality and its expression in new ways. An example of this is that I now find pleasure in erotic images of myself. I enjoy sharing erotic but tasteful artistic pictures with my partner. To be blunt, I started sending artsy dick-pics to my partner.

Censorship is the antithesis of free speech and must be resisted in all its manifold forms, specifically this form that deprives the viewer of the majestic image that has been redacted.

Oh and if you’re wondering, judging by the response, dick-pics are just one more thing women just do better than men.

Okay, enough waffling about sunbathing and erotic art, this isn’t an art blog or a sunlight therapy woo page on Facebook. This is a transsexual blog and I know you’re here for the same reasons Republicans and Gender Criticals go to Pornhub.

You’re here for the girl-dick.

So let’s talk about this filly’s blunt.

Exploring my nudity

I can’t speak for men but judging by the quality of the examples of the masculine dick-pics I have seen, men don’t think about their genitals in the same way women do. I think for men a picture of their genitals is a visual cv for their sexual qualities.

They are functional images. Its this big, its this long and its shaped in this manner which will have this effect on you when I use it in these ways. Lighting, context, focus and composition are all lost in the singular pursuit of graphic exposure. The male dick-pic is the construction drawing of nude art.

Before transition I didn’t understand the dick-pic. I assumed it was a matter of dysphoria. Showing nudes of myself that featured my penis just felt uncomfortable and ugly.

I hated it.

However, this summer I decided to explore the art of nude self portraits. I had seen a particular content creator on Instagram who specifically makes erotic self portraits via photography and I like her stuff, so I decided to try it myself.

Over the last few months, whenever I have been inspired, I have taken photos of myself in various states of undress.

“Proudly displaying their junk”

One of the things I noted very quickly was that I didn’t have that alien feeling when genitals were visibly in the images, either explicitly or implied by “the bulge”. In fact, I started to see the beauty in these photos. I didn’t see a person struggling with discordant genitals or pathetically resigned to the misery of not being able to do anything about her penis.

I legitimately saw a naked woman with a beautiful dick.

Of course the question that raised itself to me was, did I find this girl-dick beautiful because its mine and attached to me or was it all girl-dicks that had suddenly become beautiful?

My questions led me to the Trans-HiveMind.

I went back to Tumblr.

And on Tumblr I found a lot of girl-dick.

I found trans women proudly displaying their junk and trans women not so proudly displaying their junk with captions asking “would you still date me if you knew about my dick?”

Looking at these images I noted the “would you date a trans woman” posts are as tragic as those Only Fans Milfs on Insta who aim their content at middle-aged dude’s crotches.

Ladies, men don’t need begging.

Why the Fuck do we Tuck?

The posts made by trans women who are clearly comfortable with their genitals on the other hand are beautiful. In fact they are as beautiful as images of women with vaginas.

However, this is not an article to sing the praises of and promote the beauty of girl-dick.

I have far more sinister motives than that and we already know girl-dick is gorgeous.

What I am saying is girl-dick is no less desirable or beautiful or feminine than girl-vagina and when we accept this simple truth, we must ask: Why the Fuck do we Tuck?

We don’t tuck because our genitals are ugly.

We don’t tuck because it’s comfortable.

We don’t even tuck because we suffer dysphoria.

Rock it unapologetically

We tuck because we have been told by heteronormative society that women have vaginas and if your crotch isn’t a smooth, flat front then you are a man.

We have internalized the idea that we cannot be beautiful women when we have a little extra in our undies. We believe men see us, trans women, as second class because we don’t have a genital configuration that ignorance and regressive societal rules have mandated as the gold standard.

Today’s gaff is, for trans women, no different from last century’s whale boned corset for cis women. We don’t need to squeeze our organs into new positions and uncomfortable contortions to be beautiful. We don’t have to mould ourselves to the society’s regressive ideas to be beautiful.

We simply need to rock that bulge unapologetically and one day, society will catch up.

One day, a trans woman is going to walk down the catwalk at Paris Fashion week untucked and no one is going to bat an eye about the girl-dick.

Well, maybe I do know how I feel about the outcome of that intersection now.

Maybe I want to say: Vive le pénis féminin!

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A Trans Woman On The Ins And Outs Of Anal

Photo by Deon Black on Unsplash

I’m constantly on edge in my relationship with Muriel. That’s because I never know when she’s going to blow my mind.

That’s what happened this morning while chatting with her online. We talked about having sex with trans women. As our conversations usually do, this one got deep, quick.

Balls deep.

Specifically, we talked about the ins and outs of anal sex. No pun intended.

Some transgender clients express slight frustration with particulars of that sex style. After all, vaginal sex doesn’t require preparations necessary for good, clean anal. So some of my trans clients have less interest in sex at frequencies compatible with what they believe men will want.

Men will want sex more often than my clients, they say. Because of that, my clients fear they won’t be able to satisfy their men. It requires too much preparation. Other clients express lack of sexual interest due to HRT medication. That too, they fear will cause dissatisfaction in their partners.

Sorry, I don’t have a vagina.

As my GF and I talked about this, she went off. She shared a perspective I wasn’t prepared for. A perspective offering a no BS take on what anal is really about, what it offers and what it doesn’t. She also waxed poetically on a problem she thinks many trans women have:

I wonder how many trans women look at their sexual parts this way. Help me out: do you think you offer a substandard alternative to vaginal sex? Are you also thinking their partners won’t want anal as an alternative?

Muriel obviously has thought this over. Perhaps it’s something every trans woman must come to grips with. Muriel has come to a great place on it:

I think she has a point about trans women seeing themselves as second class. Second class to cis women. AND second class in terms of what they offer male partners sexually.

But there are plenty of men who enjoy anal sex. And, just to be clear, there are plenty of cis-women who enjoy anal over vaginal sex too. I even dated one some time ago. She LOVED getting it in the ass!

Meanwhile, as we all know, anal sex comes with poop. Trying to clean all that out prior to sex does offer logistics that can put the kibosh on spontaneity. It doesn’t have to though. Nor does the butt need to play second fiddle to the vagina. For women without a vagina, the “anal isn’t an alternative to vagina” must be unraveled. It’s not an alternative. It’s something altogether different.

No apologies

And this is where self affirmation comes in. Self affirmation means finding worthiness in who we are as we are. Self validation is another word for it. It’s the opposite of “outside validation”, which I argue a lot of trans women have trouble with.

So do trans-attracted men, btw.

After all, trans-attracted men on the DL are on the DL because they fear others’ opinions of their desires. In other words, they validate their desires and selfhood based on what others think about those things. Some trans women do the same thing. And that’s why both DL men and some trans women find one another. They are perfect matches.

Muriel isn’t about any of that. She’s not about apologizing for what she is. I love that. That and her humor:

It’s not about the sex

Obviously the choice to have a vagina or not has more to do with identity than where one wants a dick. Many (most?) trans women who opt for a vagina do so because it completes them. Sex may be a secondary consideration. Or, maybe, sex doesn’t even figure in.

So trans women who want a vagina needn’t be triggered by this story. It’s really not about them. This story is really not about sex either. It’s about my GF opinions. Opinions I find endearing.

I shared these opinions with a trans-attracted client of mine. His response: “I love the confidence expressed in these texts” he said.

I agree.

Muriel’s confidence is so attractive. So is her self awareness. I can see how cleaning up my own stories about myself, my transamory and about trans women have made me a match to her. For that, I’m grateful for what I’ve done.

I think Muriel is too.

PS — Did you like that pun in the headline? If so, drop me a message. I thought it was perfect.

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Transgender Women Like This Give The Rest A Bad Name 😱

Editor’s note: This post published earlier this past summer. However, a kerfuffle developed around it. So we unpublished the post. We’re re-posting it now, having changed it given input from our readers and from the Medium.com legal department. Read about that kerfuffle this post triggered here.

Some transgender women act in ways that tarnish the entire community. These women do things that make life hard for everyone involved. Of course, some trans-attracted men do the same. They make it hard for all the other trans-attracted men.

But this post isn’t about the men. It’s about one specific woman. Her, and a mystery we solved last year with the help of a trans-attracted guy. What I find highly gratifying about this is how it happened perfectly demonstrates how “stories create reality” works 100 percent of the time.

For when I first heard what this person was doing, I didn’t complain about it. Rather I was fascinated by it. I wrote a blog to warn men about her. Then I privately told the story that the Universe would show me who this person was.

I wrote that post two years ago. Last summer, the Universe gave me what I wanted. Here’s how that happened.

A familiar MO

A trans-attracted guy wrote me on Instagram out of the blue. He was in the middle of divorcing his wife. While separated he tried dating this person. Things went awry, as they usually do when people don’t have their stories straight. Then, in retaliation, this trans woman outed the guy to his wife.

The wife then used the guy’s trans-attraction in court to wrest sole custody of their kids. She then called me in a tizzy about her ex being trans-attracted and how her life has been destroyed…

That’s another story.

But the guy’s experience felt super-familiar. That’s because not long before this, I received a similar story from a midwestern father who received a similar letter about his son.

So when the Instagram guy wrote me, it seemed auspicious. I’m keeping his name out of this at his request. He doesn’t want anymore drama.

The guy who helped me solve the mystery telling his story.
The guy explaining what happened.

Apparently then, this trans woman seeks men via online dating apps. When things go bad for her (because her stories match her with men matching her stories) she outs the men to wives, friends and families. And she includes our contact information.

Such actions are highly inappropriate. It’s like when people in the 80s and 90s outed gay men against their will. You’d think this woman would know better as there are many transgender women who face similar situations.

The guy who wrote me gave me her telephone number. He didn’t remember her name. But the number was enough. With it I was able to identify her. I sent the guy some pics and he confirmed the person in the pics was the girl.

Trans-vigilante: REVEALED

Her name is Úmi. If you meet a woman with that name, you might want to avoid her.

Of course men who met her and then ended up on the receiving end of her ire created that rendezvous too. They are not victims. Neither is the guy who helped me. Everyone is responsible for what they create.

But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t help men avoid unnecessary complications on their Chaser to Transamorous journey. So guys: consider this your second warning.

This person destroyed two families and drove at least one woman (that I know of) to the brink of suicide. This is a serious matter.

If you sympathize with what Úmi has been doing because you think men deserve this, you might want to consider how it felt the last time you were on the receiving end of attention you didn’t want or abuse you felt undeserved. While everyone creates their reality, some of us with the ability to help others have the option to do so. That’s one reason why I started this blog and work with clients both trans and trans-attracted.

On that note, I must acknowledge this person was very briefly a Transamorous Network client. She did not reveal her behavior to me in the very few, preliminary sessions we had. I reached out to her several times prior to publishing this post. She did not respond to my requests.

And to be clear, should I discover men acting egregiously as this person has, I would share that information too.

A desire to serve and enjoying proof

I don’t know if she still behaves this way. She’s beautiful and, like all people, can get what she wants. I know (because all people are this way) a loving heart and compassionate spirit exists within her. Acting from rage or disempowerment isn’t helpful. It’s clear she realizes she could benefit from help. She just needs to clean up her stories, then she’ll be closer to getting what she wants.

Before she knows it, she can enjoy love from men, instead of matching up with men who trigger her ire. After all, they are only reflecting that ire back to her, reflecting her inner state of self-loathing and insecurity.

Meanwhile, I’m stoked with what happened. The Universe answers all desires. I’m glad this turned out the way it did. I got what I wanted.

I wanted to know who was using The Transamorous Network’s brand in a way that was causing unnecessary harm. In asking, the Universe gave that to me. It’s just one more example proving this practice works.

Our stories create all our experiences. Change our stories and our experiences change. Anything we ask for can be our experience. It takes some time though. This experience stretched over a couple years.

Thank goodness we’re all eternal. Because of that what’s a couple years in the context of eternity? It’s literally less than a blink of an eye.

I love it when what I share with clients gets confirmed in my own life. It’s icing to see it confirmed in my client’s lives too. And I’m appreciative the guy reached out to me the way he did. It was a perfect manifestation of my desire to know who this trans woman was.

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A Transgender Woman Buys Miss Universe Pageant?

Rikkie Valerie Kollé being crowned Miss Nederland (Photo: Instagram)

Holy Smokes! A transgender woman owns the Miss Universe Pageant. I didn’t know this. Did you?

A friend sent a text about the Miss Netherlands pageant naming Rikkie Valerie Kollé, who is trans, its 2023 title holder. While researching that wonderful news I discovered the new Miss Universe Pageant owner, Anne Jakrajutatip, is also trans.

It’s a delicious irony. That’s because Donald Trump owned the pageant before. Jakrajutatip bought it in 2022 for $14 million. But she owns more than Miss Universe. She also owns Miss USA, and the Miss Teen USA beauty pageant. She bought all three for a total of $20 million. Jakrajutatip said she’s committed to advancing Miss Universe as a more inclusive platform as part of her intention to transform the brand for the next generation.

“I don’t call Miss Universe a beauty pageant anymore,” Jakrajutatip told Metro Weekly in January. “I call it a women’s empowerment competition.”

Almost immediately after acquiring the pageants, Jakrajutatip also opened Miss Universe to mothers and married women. Groups unable to compete in prior years. Responding to a question about her declaration Jakrajutatip said, “Whether married or divorced, they [women] can compete, and do you know why? If you’ve had a husband but you’re still beautiful and fabulous, then why not?”

That’s awesome.

So who is this new owner of the biggest pageant in the world?

She’s a remarkable woman

Anne Jakrajutatip is a Thai businesswoman, television host and Chief Executive Officer of JKN Global Group, according to Wikipedia. Forbes says she’s the third richest transgender person in the world. Her estimated wealth exceeds $200 million. That’s impressive.

Other successful transgender business people exist, of course. They include the Wachowski siblings, and Martine Aliana Rothblatt, co-founder of Sirius XM. So I’m not surprised by Jakrajutatip’s wealth and success. Transgender women have it going on! That is, when they know their value, which, it appears Jakrajutatip does.

Jakrajutatip was born in Bangkok. Her parents ran a video rental store and encouraged her to learn English. She has two siblings, attended schools in Thailand and Australia and is 44 years old. She also created and directs “Life Inspired for Transsexual Foundation”. That’s a charity advocating for transgender rights in Thailand.

As for relationships, it’s unclear whether Jakrajutatip has one. Details are sketchy. She claims to have a “soulmate”. But I couldn’t find who that is. Meanwhile, she’s hanging out with young German-Filipino model and actor, Clint Bondad. They sure look like a couple. But she swears they aren’t.

Anne Jakrajutatip, (Photo By POPPORY FASHION BLOG, CC BY 3.0)

It’s not about the gossip

So this post seems to be about gossip and tabloid material. It’s not though. Instead, this post is about TREMENDOUS progress happening for transgender folks. All at the hands of successful transgender women!

Successful transgender women are in nearly every profession. All round the globe they’re making an impact. The more boardrooms, seats in congress and director’s chairs they take, the greater influence they’ll have.

So think about this. Many transgender women think GUYS coming out as trans-attracted will take transgender acceptance mainstream. If you ask me, that’s unnecessary. Because transgender women are doing just fine on their own. In other words, transgender women don’t need men to validate their existence.

What they do need is more transgender women living authentically. Moreover, they need more transgender women living successfully. Success can be defined many ways. If transgender women like Jakrajutatip, Sarah McBride, and others can do it, YOU can too, dear transgender reader. All you need is to know what you are. Then put that knowledge into practice.

And when more transgender women live successful lives something remarkable will happen: more men transgender women want will show up.

The men are out there. Your success as a transgender woman will bring you more men than you can handle. So many that, instead of complaining about where they are, you’ll be complaining about having too many!

Every transgender woman can experience this. Whatever your current circumstances, they don’t matter. Circumstances show up as reflections of one’s stories. So changing stories changes circumstances. Want proof? Become the proof you’re wanting to see.

I can help with that.

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It’s Not Your Trans Circus, Nor Your Trans-Attracted Monkey

Photo by Park Troopers on Unsplash

The following comes from reader and subscriber Jaimie Harris. She responded to our post about what trans and trans-attracted love can look like. In that post we described how effortless finding love can be. We shared the experience of a transgender client who, by telling increasingly better stories, is finding her way through increasingly better trans-attracted guys.

What Jamie shares further illustrates how powerful stories are. They literally create our reality. And that’s exactly what happened with Jaimie. Her experience, like our client’s, illustrates everything we say here at The Transamorous Network.

Anyone can create anything they want. Whether a lover, a better job or a relationship. Whatever floats one’s boat can be one’s reality. But to have that, one must become a match to that ideal condition. That means thinking and believing in ways consistent with that which one wants.

It’s not easy at first. But that’s only because we’ve allowed ourselves to be trained out of that natural way of being. Every other living thing on this planet lives this way. Which is why you don’t see birds, for example, working hard. Or bears worried about the winter.

So here’s Jaimie’s response to our post. See if you can identify where she changed her old story to match what she wants. Then as a result ends up with exactly that.

Soothing one’s self to get what one wants

Thank you, your writing is on point. I was overwhelmingly lonely, after being on my own for several years. I have dated several men only to find out that they were still married, but they had no intimacy at home. Their problem, not mine. But I primarily prefer to be with ladies. I am pansexual. 

As I was seeking ladies out to date online, even though I live in a city of 8 million people, I still had been unable to find my true love. I know that in my chats I was showing myself to be insecure and too needy for a relationship. But I couldn’t help it because of my overwhelming loneliness.

Finally, I got to the point where I could back off a little bit and decided that if they wanted to stop chatting after a day or two, it was their problem not mine. And then I became less needy when I was online. Now I have a girlfriend who I am engaged to that I met online. Every day she and I are together is even better than the previous day. She is trans but has not started her transition yet. I look forward to making her transition easier than I was since I had no support at home. Each day we are together our love grows stronger. 

I’m sure that those ladies I was trying to date online were thinking I had issues that I still needed to resolve from having lived life as trans and being told I wasn’t worth anything to anybody and I was mental and perverted. I had seen two therapist, but neither one of them were familiar with LGBT issues, even though they advertised they were. 

But your writing has always helped me to keep grounded. Thank you.

Evidence surrounds us daily

We are literally surrounded by evidence proving our thoughts create our reality. Jaimie changed her beliefs. She released beliefs creating “loneliness” enough to attract someone she eventually fell in love with. She also released beliefs telling her she was broken. In doing so, she realized therapists she was seeing couldn’t help her.

Now empowered, she can support her loved one in ways she didn’t enjoy. She no longer believes that other people’s actions have something to do with her. It’s a great way to live: “Not my monkey, not my circus”. Let other people live how they want. Make nothing they do about you. Then watch as your life improves.

Many great things lie ahead of Jaimie if she continues releasing old, disempowering beliefs. The path to everything we want unfolds when we do that. Jaimie’s experience also shows that anyone can do this work. It all comes down to living authentically. And by that, I mean living the fully-positive, enthusiastic, empowered self that lies at the core of all of us. By living from there, life must reflect that back to us in the form of a life we love.

Most of us, transgender, trans-attracted or otherwise instead live lives “realistically”. We think we must be up to speed on current events. We must believe what others tell us. What they tell us about being trans, or trans-attracted, they assert is “true”.

I tell my clients nothing they want lies on that path. Become positively deranged, however, and witness the wonderful life that unfolds from that.

Jamie’s figuring it out. You can too. Need some help? If you need some help, I’m here.