Our latest Transamorous Network Podcast episode is done. Just two more before we go live with the first three. Our co-hosts and our latest guest Christie (far right).
Stay tuned for our launch next month!
Bernie Sanders gets it right
https://youtu.be/H6aXMphgkUQ
Bernie Sanders may or may not become out next president. On spiritual matters though, he’s spot on. This is the reason why the material The Transamorous Network offers about love, relationships and self-love among transpeople and Transamorous Men works. Because we are connected, all of us, in ways that seem beyond our understanding, yet is actually simple to understand.
More importantly, your understanding isn’t required to use this connection, which is yours from before you were born. This connection is how I can guarantee that if you follow what I describe in The Transamorous Network material, you will, absolutely find love. And you’ll find it in ways that will startle you.
The connection we share is real. Why not use that connection to design the relationship you want?
What is love?
On this Valentines Day, it’s a timely opportunity to explore Love. What is that?
Is it weak knees, fluttering heart, goo-goo eye stares, candies and dinners? Is it an expression? Is it “love” when someone does something for you, something you want them to do, or expect them to do? Or is it “love” when sweet nothings the focus of your affection talks “sweet nothings”? Or is it that feeling you have just after sex with someone you deeply care about?
If these experiences, objects and responses to others’ actions is love, then why does it so quickly turn to frustration, anger, rage, hate, annoyance, bother, impatience, jealousy, obsessiveness, fear, intimidation and more?
Love is none of these. Love is not something you feel for another. Love is an advanced stage indicator that comes with practice. Love, the kind I believe in, is a feeling a person has about him or herself, that indicates something. In the sign, that person’s reality changes, or rather, the negative stories that person uses to create reality falls away, revealing a reality consistent with that person’s dreams and desires, including a relationship that works, families who love them, and joy, joy joy.
Period.
Love comes when you choose to stand in awe of your own invulnerability, the place where you create your stories which create your reality. It’s a joyful, inviolable response you can feel. Love doesn’t turn into other emotions. It stands on its own.
Sometimes you have to choose continuously, second-by-second even. Especially in the face of realities your negative stories create. Over time, however, you create a permanency. You stand there in love. And all is right.
The former love –that stuff people do in your reality that makes you love them – that love needs people behaving a certain way. That love is not dependable. The latter love endures, as it needs nothing: in it you already have everything.
Love is a practice. Love is a gift: to yourself. Not your partner, or your relationship. Here in The Transamorous Network you’re going to learn how to create your reality deliberately and not like a loose cannon. You’ll take back control over your life.
When you do, you’ll stand in your invincibility. Guaranteed.
What is transamorous?
I didn’t know the word hadn’t been created when I first used it in speaking to my wife about creating The Transamorous Network. I thought it was mainstream.
Nope.
Turns out Piper’s Tumblr account was the first place it was coined, way back at the beginning of 2013 (lol). Maybe there are earlier records, but I’m not taking time to find out. This isn’t a journalist’s blog and I’m no researcher.
Transamory, transamorous, is the coined expression describing being romantically and/or sexually attracted to transgender people. That means a guy like you (presuming you’re a guy reading this and you fit that description).
I love the term. It totally fits me and I’m proud to claim it. I’ve been claiming the idea behind it for a long time. I’m out about it and don’t care about those who may have a problem with it. Although I’ll gladly interact with a close-minded person in order to free it (their mind that is).
So what does it mean to be transamorous? It means, to me, finding transwomen fantastically, irresistibly attractive and desiring to have a romantic relationship with such a person. For me it doesn’t so much equal being sexually attracted exclusive of everything else, although sexual attraction is part of the deal. Primarily for me transamory is about the “amor” – the love. The desire to love and adore a person (in this case obviously a transwoman) in a relationship where two grow to know each other more than they know anyone else.
Transamory should be distinguished from mere sexual attraction because of this. It’s more than objectifying transpeople, be they transmen or transwomen. In my opinion, you can’t love someone if you don’t know them. And you can’t know them unless you spend time with them. A lot of time. And you can’t spend time with them unless you have some things in common. So claiming to love someone just because they’re trans falls short.
In my opinion.
Men: Your attraction is normal
(Warning: There may be triggering words in this post for some people)
So I’m sitting here thinking about all the directions I can take this blog. Yesterday, out with my wife, I was thinking about it too. Seems to me the area that may be best is focusing on facilitating positive relationships between transpeople and cis-people, primarily cis-men and transwomen, but including other combinations.
I’m liking that approach. As a cis-guy who has had extensive experience dating transwomen, I have a thing or two to share with transamorous men that I learned listening to these women bitch about us. And, I have some ideas on how men like me can easily and quickly find happiness – joy even – in our search for the perfect transgender partner.
I also know from sharing my thoughts with transgender people I know that what I have to offer can also HUGELY benefit transwomen. One transwoman who reviewed what I will be offering on this site said she benefitted tremendously from reading it. Her life has transformed. Great things are happening for her all the time now. I’ll write more about that later.
I intend The Transamorous Network to offer something for families with transgender members in them and transgender women and men as well. I consider this my contribution to the community. You may not agree with my feeling on this, but the transcommunity, broadly speaking, includes people who aren’t trans.
I can’t provide everything to everyone immediately. I gotta start somewhere. Sooner than later though, I’ll include information for more than just guys who are romantically attracted to transwomen, and transwomen who know guys like that.
For now, I’m just glad to have gotten this thing started. I’ll continue to ponder the approach for this blog and for the Network. And I’ll encourage all of you who are visiting early on to come back as I chart this journey.