Admirer? Really?

img_3755.jpg

 

This one’s really short.

If you’re out there hanging with guys known as “admirers”, and those guys treat you as…

“…secret “discreet” hidden fetish fucks by the majority of admirers who hugged on to hetero-mono-normative relationships while getting into the desserts while no one is looking…”

Then you really should question your definition of “admirer.” Here I’ll help:

ad·mir·er (ədˈmī(ə)rər/) noun: someone who has a particular regard for someone or something

 

re·gard (rəˈɡärd/) noun: 1. attention to or concern for something. “the court must have regard to the principle of welfare” considerationcareconcern. 2. best wishes.

If a a person treats you like shit, they’re not an “admirer”.  They’re something else.  If you want to find someone who will have a particular regard for you, who will admire you, you might want to change a few stories, stories creating situations where you’re willing to put up with being treated like shit.

As though you have no other alternative (news flash: You do have other alternatives!)

Our podcast is coming

  Our latest Transamorous Network Podcast episode is done. Just two more before we go live with the first three. Our co-hosts and our latest guest Christie (far right). 

Stay tuned for our launch next month!

Bernie Sanders gets it right

Network Video Channel Flowers

 

https://youtu.be/H6aXMphgkUQ

Bernie Sanders may or may not become out next president.  On spiritual matters though, he’s spot on. This is the reason why the material The Transamorous Network offers about love, relationships and self-love among transpeople and Transamorous Men works.  Because we are connected, all of us, in ways that seem beyond our understanding, yet is actually simple to understand.

More importantly, your understanding isn’t required to use this connection, which is yours from before you were born. This connection is how I can guarantee that if you follow what I describe in The Transamorous Network material, you will, absolutely find love.  And you’ll find it in ways that will startle you.

The connection we share is real.  Why not use that connection to design the relationship you want?

What is love?

What is loveOn this Valentines Day, it’s a timely opportunity to explore Love. What is that?

Is it weak knees, fluttering heart, goo-goo eye stares, candies and dinners? Is it an expression? Is it “love” when someone does something for you, something you want them to do, or expect them to do? Or is it “love” when sweet nothings the focus of your affection talks “sweet nothings”? Or is it that feeling you have just after sex with someone you deeply care about?

If these experiences, objects and responses to others’ actions is love, then why does it so quickly turn to frustration, anger, rage, hate, annoyance, bother, impatience, jealousy, obsessiveness, fear, intimidation and more?

Love is none of these. Love is not something you feel for another. Love is an advanced stage indicator that comes with practice. Love, the kind I believe in, is a feeling a person has about him or herself, that indicates something. In the sign, that person’s reality changes, or rather, the negative stories that person uses to create reality falls away, revealing a reality consistent with that person’s dreams and desires, including a relationship that works, families who love them, and joy, joy joy.

Period.

Love comes when you choose to stand in awe of your own invulnerability, the place where you create your stories which create your reality. It’s a joyful, inviolable response you can feel. Love doesn’t turn into other emotions.  It stands on its own.

Sometimes you have to choose continuously, second-by-second even. Especially in the face of realities your negative stories create. Over time, however, you create a permanency. You stand there in love. And all is right.

The former love –that stuff people do in your reality that makes you love them – that love needs people behaving a certain way. That love is not dependable. The latter love endures, as it needs nothing: in it you already have everything.

Love is a practice. Love is a gift: to yourself. Not your partner, or your relationship.  Here in The Transamorous Network you’re going to learn how to create your reality deliberately and not like a loose cannon. You’ll take back control over your life.

When you do, you’ll stand in your invincibility. Guaranteed.

What is transamorous?

Blog 3 photoI didn’t know the word hadn’t been created when I first used it in speaking to my wife about creating The Transamorous Network. I thought it was mainstream.

Nope.

Turns out Piper’s Tumblr account was the first place it was coined, way back at the beginning of 2013 (lol). Maybe there are earlier records, but I’m not taking time to find out. This isn’t a journalist’s blog and I’m no researcher.

Transamory, transamorous, is the coined expression describing being romantically and/or sexually attracted to transgender people. That means a guy like you (presuming you’re a guy reading this and you fit that description).

I love the term. It totally fits me and I’m proud to claim it. I’ve been claiming the idea behind it for a long time. I’m out about it and don’t care about those who may have a problem with it. Although I’ll gladly interact with a close-minded person in order to free it (their mind that is).

So what does it mean to be transamorous? It means, to me, finding transwomen fantastically, irresistibly attractive and desiring to have a romantic relationship with such a person. For me it doesn’t so much equal being sexually attracted exclusive of everything else, although sexual attraction is part of the deal. Primarily for me transamory is about the “amor” – the love. The desire to love and adore a person (in this case obviously a transwoman) in a relationship where two grow to know each other more than they know anyone else.

Transamory should be distinguished from mere sexual attraction because of this. It’s more than objectifying transpeople, be they transmen or transwomen. In my opinion, you can’t love someone if you don’t know them. And you can’t know them unless you spend time with them. A lot of time. And you can’t spend time with them unless you have some things in common. So claiming to love someone just because they’re trans falls short.

In my opinion.