Category: How To Meet Your Match

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Why It’s Not Bad When People Get Romance Scammed

Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash

I suppose most people think being scammed is a bad thing. But a scammer taking advantage of you tells you something really good.

No, it doesn’t tell you you’re stupid. Or that you should be more aware…although you probably should. What it is telling you is that there is something happening inside you that makes you a match to that experience.

Yes, the scam “victim” draws that experience into their life. Being scammed isn’t a random event. No event is. Instead, it’s a reflection of an inner state, a vibrational state. As with every event, getting scammed vibrationally matches a similar inner state, so it shows up in the scammed person’s experience as manifested reality.

This is what happened with a client recently, although she caught it early enough to avoid being scammed. Just like I did before.

I wrote about what most people would say was the positive side of this experience last week on my other blog. But this week I’m going to share another positive side. A side most would probably think was “negative”.

But it’s not. It’s very, very positive. And it’s something that could improve every trans woman’s and trans-attracted man’s experience in finding love.

Desperation: a great money maker

As I wrote last week, this client finds herself attached to a certain guy. This guy waffles in his affection for her. The client knows she deserves better. But because of beliefs causing her attachment, she can’t pull herself away from the guy. I mean, she could, but she feels compelled not to.

As a result, she wants him to change. But he won’t change. That’s because her focus remains on his waffling behavior. She doesn’t like that behavior. But because she fixates on it, it persists.

Not only that. It’s getting stronger.

And as it does, her desire for it to change gets stronger too. So the two amplify each other. That amplification leaves my client feeling desperate. And desperation is what the vibration feels like that makes one a match to scammers.

Especially scammers who use the potential of finding love as their leverage.

No where are people more desperate than in their pursuit of love. That’s especially true in the trans community, which includes trans-attracted people. Folks are willing to spend thousands to get it. They’re willing to kiss a lot of frogs too!

Meanwhile, the endearing, unconditional love people seek in the world around them exists right there inside them. It’s the connection between them and their Broader Perspective. And when a person connects to that, love from another human pales in comparison.

The irony is, when a person has this inner relationship front-and-center, human relationships get better. And love one wants from another human gets better too.

Conditional love or unconditional love?

The client in question doesn’t have this Broader Perspective relationship front-and-center though. Instead, she’s allowed her relationship with Mr. Waffle to displace that relationship. And this is why she feels desperate. Because love from another human always comes with conditions. Broader Perspective love, however, is unconditional.

Displace that unconditional love with conditional love and the immediate feeling is insecurity. Keep it there long enough and insecurity turns to worry, concern, fear, jealousy and even hatred. These emotions happen when that unconditional love another human brings to the table bears out as unconditional: when they get mad at us for not meeting their expectations. Or for doing something they don’t like.

Our Broader Perspective has no conditions we can’t meet. It doesn’t get mad at us. We don’t irritate it. It just loves us, period.

A person trying to rely on conditional love can develop feelings of desperation when everything they try fails to coax their partner into behaving the way they want. That’s what was happening with this client. And that’s why she was feeling desperation.

Finding her way

So last week when those four new perfectly-matched dating options showed up, the client was overjoyed, at first. As she explored one of them more deeply, however, he turned out to be a scammer. A scammer preying on people desperate for love.

This revelation had the client feeling angry, then sad. But what was happening wasn’t sad. It didn’t have to be anger-inducing either. That’s because the experience showed my client exactly where she was vibrationally. And if she didn’t know where she was vibrationally standing, she couldn’t do anything about it.

Thankfully, the client’s Broader Perspective got her attention well enough to trigger skepticism about this person. She looked into it a bit more, then discovered the plot.

She’s still struggling though. She hasn’t yet found her way through disempowering stories on various subjects. Stories that have her feeling vibrationally low. And creating circumstances, events…and men, projecting that low vibration back to her.

And yet, improvement is on the horizon. So long as one persists in their focus, their desire to improve their vibration, that will happen. Then the world must reflect that improved vibration back to her in the form an improving life experience.

In the meantime, this client already has created enough evidence on other subjects proving telling positive stories works. So she’s going to persist. Which means she’s eventually going to get everything she desires. Including a satisfying relationship.

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The Universe Is The Best Trans Dating Service

Photo by Jamez Picard on Unsplash

I so love when the universe helps clients realize they can trust it, instead of “doing”. That’s what happened this week with a client seeking love.

If you’ve read some posts here before, you know I encourage readers avoid online dating. It’s costly. It rarely succeeds. And it’s not very fun. Especially for trans or trans-attracted people.

Recently, a client came to her own understanding of this. She realized, unconsciously, as most clients do, that the Universe is a wish-granting jewel. It constantly fulfills every desire.

Just because it does that, though, doesn’t mean we receive every desire fulfilled. To receive, we must be tuned in. We must be on the same frequency of the fulfilled desire. That means, of course, following Broader Perspective impulses. If we do that, we end up at the perfect place and time to real-ize fulfilled desire.

However, most of us don’t know how to hear impulses. So we move through life haphazardly. Doing that, we learn to rely on “doing”. Especially when looking for that perfect trans woman. Or that guy who will accept us for who we are. We try making things happen, instead of allowing them to happen for us.

That’s what lead to my client’s epiphany.

Attachment breeds unconsciousness

My client currently is in love. Rather, she thinks she is. Actually, she’s in very strong attachment. Strong attachment over this guy she thinks is “The One”. The problem is, no person is that. The only “The One” in our lives is us. In other words, we each are our own “The One”.

Most of us don’t realize this though. That’s because human society talks us out of our inner knowing. We then forget we are eternal. We forget we are eternally loved and that no love can compare to that. Especially conditional love of another human.

This client finds herself thus. She’s struggling, therefore. She’s struggling because she’s experiencing things about this guy she doesn’t like. Every time they spend time together and get close, for example, he freaks out. Intimacy frightens him. So he’ll waffle. One day he’s all Lovey-dovey. The next day, he “needs space.”

This pattern may sound familiar.

The problem for my client is her attachment. She wants so bad for this person to change. But he can’t change when she focuses so much on his behavior. Behavior reflecting her own waffling way of being.

That’s right, my client realizes in this contrast presented by this guy that she was this way in relationship for decades. So here she is having her dominant way of being in relationship reflected back to her.

I told her this was the purpose of this relationship. To have her see what stories she’s telling. To have her see them so that she can change her stories.

But she’s not having that. Which has her suffering in indecision and strong resistance. Resistance she thinks is desire. Resistance she thinks is love.

Which is why what happened next is so compelling.

The Universe delivers

While my client holds onto her attachment for dear life, her focus on what she doesn’t want already has created what she does want. The Universe already answered her desire for a better relationship, in other words.

And even though she witnessed this unfolding, which I’ll describe in a moment, her attachment still has her pining for this one guy, rather than going with the flow of her unfolding manifestation. Here’s what that looks like:

“I was on my Facebook profile,” she explained one session. We were talking about her dating possibilities and how the Universe keys up an infinite stream of better quality men for her.

“I rarely visit that profile,” She said. “But when I did lately, I noticed I had 150 new friend requests!”

Then she changed the subject: “I’m on eHarmony,” She said. “None of the men I see there are attractive to me. It’s depressing.”

The client said she wondered while viewing her online dating profile if she should date only widowers. She thinks such men would be better matches. That’s because, supposedly, they had long, enduring relationships right up to the bitter end! Then she said she also thought she should date only engineers, since she gets along with such guys easily. (She used to work in an engineering-heavy industry.)

“So when I looked at the friend requests,” She explained, coming back to the original subject. “Four of them were really handsome men. All four were widowers and all were engineers! And…each of them expressed interest in me! That’s so weird! “

“Weird” means “I’m oblivious”

“Weird” is a common refrain from clients. Like the majority of people, they don’t get how consistently Universe delivers on all desires. So they don’t experience enough evidence of this in their lives. When I point it out as happening, they can’t believe it’s just how the Universe works. They instead see these experiences as standing out. As strange. As “weird”.

In time, anyone will move beyond “weird” to just accepting their worthiness. But until then, people just can’t accept that these “coincidences” are how the Universe works. In other words, they’re oblivious. And that obliviousness blocks them from seeing their desires fulfilling themselves, like this client seeing the Universe give her matches without her having to do anything.

This obliviousness is why people are dating online. And trying to “make” other things happen in their lives. They think “doing” is the key to getting what they want. When in fact, relaxing and trusting will make it happen easier and with more fun.

People make a lot of money off other people thinking “doing” is the only way.

I encouraged my client to get this. That the Universe knows better how to deliver what she wants. And that no amount of doing can replace the power and leverage of the Universe.

She’s still attached. So she’s still struggling. But the wonder wasn’t wasted on me. I reveled in the awareness giving me insight into the gift the client received. Even if she didn’t enjoy that awareness fully…yet.

Because I know, in time, should she continue, she will gain that awareness. It’s the natural unfolding of All That Is. All That Is, which is what we all are.

Discover how the Universe is serving you with utmost loyalty. Contact me. Let’s get you started in your own practice.

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How To Easily Meet Your Transgender Match: A Perfect Example

I know. It sounds like an impossibility. Trans women are hard to find. Men who love trans women who aren’t chasers are even more rare. Am I right? And besides, people are subject to their own whims and desires, right? Free will and all that? We can’t really create people, can we?

Why yes, we can…

It’s accurate that others are their own creation. But they’re also a co-creation. We all participate in each others’ becoming. And, as I’ve stressed before, the people we experience aren’t the same people those people are. Instead, they’re our creations. Which explains why trans women who complain about “chasers” usually meet exactly that. And why DL men meet unsavory trans women…

But this is a positive post about how I created another person in my reality. You can too. In fact, this post is really about being joyful. Because what happened was such a delightful, and yet, expected, surprise.

The setup was awesome

One day this past summer while riding my bike, I came across a celebration. Portlanders – in their weird way – were riding around on old-style roller-skates. Dressed in costumes and carrying signs, these folks were partying over something I didn’t understand.

I did understand they were enjoying themselves, though. That was obvious. As a mobile DJ blasted tunes, the revelers wound their way along a circular path cones outlined on the street.

As I rode past, I noticed a woman on her bicycle. She was tall, with dark hair to her shoulders. She drew me to her with an enthralling quality.

Now, I have a “trans” version of “gaydar”. I can just spot trans women. So I knew this person was trans. The moment happened so quick though. I saw her, rode past, then focused on the revelers.

Still, riding away, I chastised myself. Why didn’t I stop and say hi to that woman? But in my self-reproach, I realized what I was doing. So, instead of staying in that story, I decided I would create a future reality where I’d see her again. I therefore casually said to myself “Wouldn’t it be nice to see this person again?”

Then I focused on how pleased I would be to rendezvous with that probable future reality. Notice: I did this casually, lightly and only for a moment.

You can probably guess what happened next…

We create everything we experience

As creators, we are the only beings in our reality. Everything we experience, therefore, is a reflection of our massive, eternal awareness. We constantly create new realities as we move through our created reality. This gives rise to multiverses science is only recently coming to acknowledge exist.

We create people in our realities as we create everything else. The versions we create are cooperatively created along with the entities those people are in their reality. So it’s not like we’re doing anything against anyone’s will.

What this means is, we have complete control over experiences we have with other people. But usually, we let our observations reign over what we create. Especially when it comes to other people. Rather than creating them deliberately, we let our observations do it. So people occur as individuals totally separate from us. We experience physical reality the same way for the same reasons.

When we realize, however, that we create our reality, including others, we come into tremendous power and leverage. We can literally call people back into our experience, provided those people are willing to have that experience too.

That’s what happened here.

Hearing inner guidance

After affirming a future rendezvous with this person, I dropped it. I let the idea go into All That Is, knowing the Universe took hold of it.

Yesterday, over three months after seeing her, I got the impulse to go for a walk. I had just meditated for an hour and was vibing really high. So I put on warm clothes and headed out.

I knew I was vibing high because of how I felt. But also based on people’s reactions. They were super friendly. Strangers stared at me. When you’re vibing high, you stand out like a sore thumb. People notice you. I greeted those people and they were friendly in return.

As I wound my way back towards home, I started crossing one of the bridges spanning the river bisecting downtown. On the way across I spotted a person coming the opposite direction. I knew this person was trans. She was also walking a Corgi. Something else about her was very familiar. But I didn’t know what.

About 20 meters away, we locked eyes. I said hi. She smiled and nodded. I felt a jolt of clarity. I recognized a connection between her and I in that moment.

We passed one another. Then my Broader Perspective suggested I stop, so I did. I leaned against the rail and took stock of my inner awareness. Something important happened that I wasn’t catching. But my Broader Perspective’s signals were strong enough to give me pause.

The fateful bridge

Then the big reveal

I looked back and saw her walking in the distance. A part of me wanted to catch up with her. It wanted to introduce myself and strike up a chat. Another part didn’t. It wanted to go home. It was getting dark. Soon it would be too cold for the clothes I wore.

Screw it, I decided. I wanted to follow through on the first part urging me to go introduce myself. By now she was a good 500 meters away. I turned back and went to catch up with her.

About 50 meters away, for some reason, that’s when she decided to stop and sit on a park bench! It was a perfect set up! I was so pleased this happened because it worked perfectly for me to approach her. When I did, I introduced myself. She invited me to sit and talk.

After talking with her a while, it struck me: This was the girl I saw last summer! In my excitement I told her so, but she didn’t remember. Most people don’t remember much about things they consider insignificant, so that wasn’t surprising. Inside though I knew this was the Universe responding to my request.

Long story short, we talked for 30 minutes. She gave me her number. We’re talking about seeing each other again.

The more we believe, the more we see

It’s so fun meeting people this way. It’s so fun I wonder why people rely on online dating to help them meet people. This is way more fun. The serendipity, the surprise, the unfolding are all wonderful characteristics of cooperating with the Universe to meet people we want to meet.

It’s so easy. And, if we’re relaxing into the desire, it happens relatively fast.

But a lot of people don’t believe anything you just read. Or they believe what you just read is just a big coincidence. I’ve had this exact experience happen too many times though. So many I’m convinced this indeed is what’s possible. Not just for me. But for anyone.

We create our realities. That includes other people. The more we believe that, the more we’ll see that bear out in the world we experience. That means we can have anything in our reality: lovers, wonderful rendezvous, and everything else we desire.

It’s just how the Universe is organized.

Try it for yourself. Test the Universe and watch it deliver.

Need help with the how? I’m available.

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Transgender Self Acceptance: A Beautiful, Powerful Thing

Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash

I have a client on the Positively Focused side of what I do. She’s cisgender and has fallen for a man she manifested. But the man waffles a lot over his commitment to her. Rather than seeing this guy as not worth her time, because he does not meet her minimum requirements, she’s clinging to this man.

Because she believes this man is the only man out there for her, she believes she MUST have this man. As a result of her scarcity consciousness — about men and relationships — she suffers as the guy keeps breaking up with her, then he apologizes and comes back to her.

On my bike ride this morning I couldn’t help contrasting her experience with my own. As I’ve written in earlier posts, I now have a girlfriend. What’s remarkable, among many things, about Muriel, is her radical self acceptance. She knows herself. She recognizes those things about herself she wants to improve. And most importantly, one of those is not trying to pass as a cisgender woman.

I love that about her. Her radical acceptance of her status as a transgender woman resonates powerfully with me. That’s because I know the best happiness lies in self acceptance. Accepting fully who we are is the key to getting everything we want.

Loving who we are as we are

Self acceptance is a struggle for many transgender women. Muriel say this is because transgender women try to be something they’re not. I agree. They compare themselves to cisgender women. Then use that comparison as the yardstick for their “passability”.

Hopefully, dear reader, you can see the built-in struggle of that approach. Many transgender women compare themselves against something they’ll never be. And, in that comparison, they cannot accept a man who wants them for who they ACTUALLY are. So it’s no surprise such women struggle with finding love in relationship. It’s also no wonder they revile trans-attracted men.

They don’t fully love themselves as they are. So when someone expresses love for them as they are, they reject that person. As they reject themselves. Thankfully, Muriel is not that way. She loves (most) of who and what she is. So she can accept my affection. Indeed, my affection apparently amplifies her own self-appreciation. And I enjoy doing that for her. I reflecting back to her the love she has for herself.

Joy and freedom are at the heart of self acceptance. The more one pushes toward greater acceptance of all that one is, the more love and joy one will experience. First in themselves. Then in the world around them. In time the world will reflect back to them that inner state of joy. And when that happens, everything the person wants must show up in their life experience. Including lovers.

This is true for transgender women and trans-attracted men. It applies to everyone actually.

Loving ourselves is the best thing we can do to get all we want. Especially in love. (Photo by Giulia Bertelli on Unsplash)

Our perfect match is looking for us

Which again, is why Muriel and I have found one another. It’s no surprise that Muriel and I find the relationship we are experiencing satisfying. The limits it includes are perfectly matched to our life situations. Hers, being in an open marriage. Mine, being focused on my spiritual path. These two aspects of our lives are perfectly accommodated in what we share.

I want my Positively Focused client to find her full self acceptance. Doing so, she’ll find no need to pine after men. When it does, men like the one she’s pursuing won’t show up. Instead, she’ll rendezvous with men who are equally matched to her self acceptance. This already is happening. She’s getting better at seeing this.

Confidence, joy, freedom, security. All these are available to those who fully accept themselves. It doesn’t matter whether one is trans or cis. We’re all human after all. And we all have multiple perfect matches looking for us. Not just one. I love helping trans women and trans-attracted men find those kinds of matches.

Accepting oneself fully is not an easy matter though. Especially when so much of society conditions us out of self acceptance. That’s why someone like me can help those wanting joy, satisfaction and love.

If you’re one of those people wanting more joy, satisfaction and love, contact me. Results are guaranteed. Whatever you want you can have. But you first must become a match to it.

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Why Every Cis-Trans Date Is An Awesome Gift

Often transgender clients offer great examples proving what we say here at The Transamorous Network. That happened again today (at the time of writing this).

The example perfectly shows how our stories create our reality. It also perfectly shows how our stories play out in our own behaviors, and the others’ behavior. Which makes every date we have an experience bearing gifts.

Seeing our stories play out in real time offers us tremendous benefits. Only by seeing them can we do something about them though. So it’s important to learn how to interpret our stories as they play out.

“Reality”, of course, includes our behaviors. So in addition to how we feel and what we think, another great way of discovering stories we have is by looking at how we behave. And how people behave toward us. Especially on dates.

By doing that, we can deliberately chart paths to all the love (or anything else) we want by telling better stories. This is the basis for why I work with transgender and trans-attracted clients. On the way to getting all they want, clients become empowered. They also become happier. This client is no exception.

Let’s take a look at the wonderful example she offered.

Creating her dating reality as she goes

She recently stopped online dating. I don’t encourage anyone to go that route, so I’m glad she stopped. Here’s why I don’t recommend dating online. But most clients coming to me are on that path. After a while though, they stop dating online. That’s because it’s just more fun meeting your perfect match through serendipity. Online dating sucks.

The client, I’ll call Sarah, now has several men she’s seeing. Most of them are casual. And a few of them involve actually going out on dates. That’s great because Sarah, who is trans, once told herself very strong stories about men not being willing to take her out. But because she’s changed her stories, men now take her out! Go figure!

One guy I’ll call Cleo, wants to take Sarah out. But he’s scared. He still resists his trans-attraction. So, he’ll text Sarah, telling her he wants to see her. Or text her about taking her out. Sarah likes getting these messages. But it irks her that he won’t follow up. She wants him to take her out. He won’t though.

I explained to Sarah that Cleo represents a stepping stone along the path to the relationship she ultimately wants and will have. I also said the more she focuses on positive aspects of what Cleo offers, the more she becomes a match to that relationship she ultimately wants.

Sarah’s working on this. Some days she’s better at it than others. But what happened in today’s session was instructive. First, let’s look at some context.

A relationship to beat all relationships

Sarah loves a man she really wants to be with. She and this guy, who I’ll call Paul, have talked on and off for years. It’s obvious Paul likes Sarah. But he too fears his trans-attraction. Yet he keeps coming back to Sarah. Sarah really wants to be with Paul. I assure her constantly she can be with Paul and will be. Once she becomes fully a match to him and vice versa.

But stories Sarah keeps active about relationships, about Paul and about herself keep her from becoming that match. I am working with Sarah to identify and soothe these stories.

One story she has is if she told Paul about her dating experiences, Paul will get angry at her and cut her off, even though Paul has consistently told Sarah she should date other people. I told Sarah she should share with Paul what she does with these other men. Not to manipulate Paul in any way, but, instead, to authentically express what she’s doing. Besides, it’s exactly what Paul encouraged. And, I assured Sarah, it’s something Paul would appreciate.

So Sarah really wants to be with Paul. Paul likes Sarah a lot and wants that too. But both keep telling stories that keep the two apart. And Sarah won’t communicate authentically with Paul because she’s afraid.

Ok, that’s the context. Now, back to Cleo. Keep in mind what you just read. See if you can put the pieces together about stories and how they created the reality you’re about to read before I explain it in the section after this next one.

Perfect manifestation played in real time

One day Cleo texted Sarah. He complained that a lot of older cis-women were coming on to him. He said he had lots of opportunity to “fuck” these women. But he didn’t know what he wanted to do. Sarah told him he should enjoy these women. He should have sex with them, she said, if he wants to and thinks he will enjoy it.

In other words, she was sharing what we talk about in The Transamorous Network dating approach. The more a person can enjoy life, the more life will yield to them more enjoyable experiences. That’s the general rule. I applauded Sarah for telling Cleo this. It’s spot-on guidance.

A couple days later, Cleo texted Sarah. He shared news that he did actually follow Sarah’s advice. He said he had a great time doing it. Remember, Sarah encouraged Cleo to have sex with these women.

Here’s what happened next, in Sarah’s own words:

“After he told me,” she said. “I got mad. Then I picked a big, giant fight with him. He got really angry with me. Then he stopped talking to me.”

Can you see what happened here? It’s a perfect manifestation of Sarah’s stories about Paul and her playing out in her relationship with Cleo!

The evidence: plain as day

Sarah is playing out her story about being authentic with Paul, with Cleo. Here Cleo is, doing what I suggest Sarah could do with Paul. Cleo is telling Sarah authentically what’s happening in his life with these other women. Notice how Sarah first responds to his authentic sharing. She’s empathetic. She offers really good advice: do what pleases you.

But then, when Cleo acts on Sarah’s advice, Sarah gets pissed. We could replace Cleo with Sarah in this example, and Sarah with Paul. Doing that, we can see how Sarah is creating a reality wherein her stories about Paul and her play out in real time. In perfect view for all to see.

See it?

If I tell Paul what I’m doing with these other men, he’ll get mad and stop talking with me. That’s Sarah’s story about her relationship with Paul. And that story has Sarah feeling fear. Meanwhile, when Cleo does what Sarah’s afraid to do with Paul, at first, Sarah is compassionate. She offers great advice. But when he follows it Sarah gets mad and picks a fight – exactly what she’s afraid Paul will do if she shares authentically what she’s up to, which is what Sarah got mad at Cleo for doing. After all, Sarah is doing what Paul suggested: see other guys. But she’s afraid to share that with him.

First, Sarah is interested and compassionate. This tells her that Paul would be interested and compassionate should she communicate authentically to him. But her fear dominates her behavior as a manifestation. So she gets mad at Cleo after first being interested and compassionate. Then Cleo does what Sarah is afraid Paul will do: stops talking to her.

Power and leverage unveiled

The evidence here is as plain as day. But it’s complicated and hard to see if we don’t know to interpret our reality.

This is the kind of thing we uncover in Transamorous Network sessions. It’s the gold in daily life which reveals to us everything we want to know. Everything that will get us all the love we want. Or all the money we want. Or whatever else we want. Definitely all the happiness we can handle. And then some.

As we can see, physical reality is very sophisticated.  The uninitiated have a hard time figuring all this out. That’s because we have a literal constellation of stories creating our ongoing, unfolding reality. A reality that includes behaviors of others. Others we create as specific versions for ourselves. Those versions reflect our stories back to us so we can do something about them. Our own behaviors do the same thing. But we’re often blind to this.

All of this gives us clues about our inner-understanding. Our inner world constantly projects outward. It creates our realities all day, every day. Which is why Transamorous Network sessions offer so much value. Through the sessions, clients learn how to read the clues.

Just because we can’t see all this doesn’t mean it’s not happening. It is happening. And when a person starts seeing life through this lens, they come into incredible power and leverage. Power and leverage allowing one to deliberately create any reality they want. Including one in which a transgender woman, or a trans-attracted man can enjoy anything they want. That perfect lover included.

Maybe you’re ready to get your hands on that power and leverage. Contact me. Let’s get you started.