Frustration sometimes happens when I think I’m not getting what I want. It’s frustrating only because I’m telling myself a false story: that I’m not getting what I want. I know many transgender women and trans-attracted men feel similarly.
But that’s not how reality gets created. I create reality by my attention, not by what I want. So to get what I want, I must put my attention on that.
Or, I can focus on what it feels like having what I want – even when I don’t have it – and through putting attention there, gradually tune my stories to what I want. Doing that I see what I want coming easily.
Proof tells me it’s working
Many things happened showing this working. More clients showing up, publishing deals happening, money coming into my life without me having to do anything to get it, and, yes, trans women showing up too.
I’m wanting my ideal match though, so focusing on becoming more of a match to her – that’s my primary focus as far as relationships go.
Some wonder why I don’t have a partner. Since I say this work works, shouldn’t I be in a relationship?
The answer is: I’m not in a hurry. Fine tuning my life, my way of being and my stories so I match my perfect partner – that’s my goal. Not just being in a relationship. Besides, so much fun in my life happens these days, I don’t miss her.
Power lies in that perspective. Why is that?
Because in not missing her, I’m not telling stories focusing on her absence. Knowing that makes a huge difference.
Moving through to love, joy fun
In knowing that, when moments of frustration or impatience arrive, I realize frustration and impatience helps me get what I want. They tell me where I’m putting my attention. Not knowing that, I keep getting what’s frustrating me.
Trans-attracted men suffer from frustration, impatience and sometimes even anger over not getting what they want all the time. The way out is recognizing what those emotions say, then doing something about it.
Do that, and love, joy, fun, happiness – everything we’re wanting – comes easily. And when we’re matches to love, joy, fun and happiness, then the lover we want – who also is loving, joyful and happy – must come too.
Nothing convinces better than life experience. That’s why I show transgender people and trans-attracted and transamorous men how to create in their lives proof that their stories can fulfill any desire imaginable. Including meeting amazing romantic partners.
But if YOU want to meet your amazing romantic partner, you gotta stop doing what so many other women do.
I have several transgender clients creating living proof that stories create reality. Gradually, their dreams flow into their lives with less and less effort. They’re happy, sure, eager about life and eager about meeting their matches. Like “Nadia” here:
Then there are others…
Occasionally however, I talk with transgender women who are not clients. I share the same stuff I tell my clients. What’s crazy is even though my clients’ lives offer a metric shit-ton of evidence of their dreams becoming real, these transgender women just don’t get it.
But I do.
Not being a Transamorous Network client, it’s hard (but not impossible) to understand your stories about reality create your reality. It’s way easer defending your limiting stories, which in turn limit your life. Like this transgender woman recently did while talking with me on Facebook:
A transgender woman vigorously defending her limiting beliefs with stories detailing what she doesn’t want, instead of what she wants. That’s a problem.
I’m not trans, but I have personal experience helping trans and non-trans people create fun, fulfilling lives. Everyone I work with gets lives filled with everything they want
So when I adamantly say “transgender women can have any future they imagine, and any kind of partner they want,” I mean it. 😌
He’s looking for you. Are you looking in the right places? (Photo by Tamarcus Brown on Unsplash)
Stand in the truth you want to live
Of course, many people know what they want. But most don’t know how to easily get it. Instead they do what others are doing, or what they’ve always done. Like the transgender woman above, when they get results consistent with what others get (results that suck), they get upset, frustrated and rant about what they’re getting. All the while not realizing their frustration exists for a reason.
Any experience a person has is valid. That doesn’t mean it’s the Truth with a capital T, or that their experience is an objective fact. There is no one Truth and there are no objective facts.
For example, many, many transgender women think all men are pieces of shit, want to bottom and fetishize transgender women for their penises.
Two transgender women commiserating over their truths. What is the price they pay for living this truth? Easy: no relationships, or relationships that suck.
SOME men may be this way, sure. And for transgender women who tell such stories, that’s pretty much the only men they meet. So of course, it’s TRUE that SOME men are this way.
But does standing in stories complaining about and commiserating over such men give you what you want? It clearly doesn’t, right?
Is standing in that truth really worth not getting what you want…especially when a better truth exists were you CAN get what you want?
I don’t think so.
Most people don’t know how to easily get what they want
Instead of looking forward to what one wants and talking about that, most people, transgender, trans-attracted or even plain ol’ cis, will complain about what they’re getting. They’ll complain to whoever will listen, and plenty of people exist who will not only listen, but add their own complaints in the mix.
That’s a definite no-no for both parties because in doing that, neither party helps the other get what they want.
One trans woman seeks confirmation of her story…And another gives it, thereby reinforcing the unwanted story for herself and her friend. If you want that amazing guy STOP DOING THIS.
It’s fun when a person understands life always shows one what stories are creating what realities. Only people who understand this though can do something about it thereby fulfilling their desires.
But since most people don’t understand this, they don’t know what to do that’s different. They keep doing the same thing over and over, or do things others are doing, thinking just because others are doing it, it will work for them. 🙄
Life is on everyone’s side
What I know is, life is 100 percent faithful to everyone. It is ALWAYS on every person’s side, showing them the sum total of what stories they’re telling. Life gives them plenty of early warning too, so a person understanding this can change a reality well before it becomes…well…reality.
Life is helping the transgender women in these examples above. But they don’t understand how. So they keep doing what they’re doing and getting what they give the most air-time to: opportunity to complain about men who treat them consistent with their stories.
If you, dear reader, want a different (better) love life, or anything else in your life, you must try a better way.
Impatience is not your friend…well…it is, kinda
People (and transpeople particularly) have a distorted perspective relative to results and time. Before any significant time passes they’re impatient and wondering why they’re not getting what they want.
The transgender woman above complains about what she’s getting or rather what she’s not getting, even though she’s only been dating for 12 months. But twelve months is a blink of an eye in universal terms! And yet, people think that’s a long time, then lose their shit when what they want hasn’t come by then.
That’s lunacy!
Looks are nice, but you’re wanting more than that, I promise. But none of what you want will come easily if you’re impatient. (Photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash)
Life will give anyone what they want, but when a person gets impatient about it, it can’t happen. Why? Because feeling “impatient” tells you you’re giving more air-time to your complaint than your desire. And wherever you put your attention, you get more of that. In this case, putting your attention on having no relationship gives you exactly that: no relationship!
You don’t need options
Men and women think having a selection is a good thing. That’s why so many people are on dating sites. But the Universe will give you exactly what you want without you having to search or select.
You don’t need a “pool” of men. Thinking you need a selection means you don’t believe the Universe and life is on your side. You’re trying to do what life will do for you. And it will do it far easier than if you do it.
That’s why it’s so hard finding a partner, trans girl. Stop trying to do the Universe’s job.
You only need one man (if that’s what you want): that one amazing guy. But if you think you need to find him, or select him from a pool, you’re barking up the wrong tree (to mix metaphors LOL).
This bears repeating: The more you complain about the men you don’t want, the more you’re going to connect with that kind of man. Wanting that amazing man in your life means focusing on him. Not on the men you’re meeting who aren’t that.
It’s no wonder so many trans women have similar dating experiences. Most do the same things, get the same results then complain to each other about what they get.
Don’t be those women. Instead, tell stories about the man you want. Revel in the wonderful things going on in your life. Stay away from transgender women who complain. Then watch how life easily gives you what you want.
This may be hard to hear: It’s not the men that are the problem. It’s how you’re going about getting what you want. Change that up and see what happens.
Question: I’m transgender. How many days does it take to create something like the perfect man I want in my life?
Short answer: it depends.
An objective reality doesn’t exist. So it’s not possible to answer such a question with a specific number of days and expect that to be “the average number of days” or “the least amount of days” that would be accurate for everybody.
The only reality that exists is the one perceivable by the perceiver. In other words, physical reality is a 100 percent subjective experience. The same is true when creating.
So the number of days it takes to create something like meeting a perfect mate depends on the person’s subjective experience and their stories, which includes how much they doubt or believe what it is they’re trying to create.
If a person has a lot of doubts or resistance about what they’re trying to create, it’s gonna take much longer than if they have pure focus on what it is they’re wanting and they believe what they’re wanting is possible.
For example, I recently enjoyed chatting with transgender women on Facebook about their stories about men. These transgender women, like many transgender women, have strong, disempowering stories about men, about trying to find a man, and about dating in general.
An example of powerful negative stories creating realities this person doesn’t want.
So it’s not likely these women will meet what they want anytime soon.
Also, it depends on what it is one wants. If somebody wants to create something they believe is easy, which is the same thing as saying something they have no resistance about, it can be theirs in a few hours.
But most people don’t have clean stories on topics they consider to be “serious“ or things they really, really want such as a monogamous “straight” man they can spend their lives with.
So, the number of days it takes depends on the desire, and how much resistance someone is holding about the desire. It can take a few hours, or it can never happen.
The good news is, evidence it’s happening is immediate, if you know where to see it. And in seeing the evidence, one gets encouraged. Encouragement speeds up the process, so before you know it, your life IS better.
A common experience among newer Transamorous Network clients is “split energy”. Here’s why resolving split energy is not only important, it can be a joyful process and create a life worth loving.
But first, let’s look at what split energy is, why it happens and why so many transgender and trans-attracted people don’t know about split energy and thus struggle with it.
What is split energy?
Split energy happens when belief and desire conflict with one another. It can also happen when a person stands in two different, opposite stories at the same time.
For example, a trans-attracted man might want a transwoman as a partner. That’s a story creating certain desires and impulses. But that same man might have a story saying transgender women are actually men, or, that being attracted to transgender women makes him gay.
He might also believe (a belief is a story) that giving up his marriage (to a cisgender woman) in order to be with a transgender woman would be too great a burden to bear.
Split energy means having a foot in two different story camps, or telling stories that conflict with desires. Split energy often feels like confusion, uncertainty and anxiety. (Photo by Sherise VD on Unsplash)
One client, for example, believes transgender women are not serious about having a serious monogamous relationship, so he only meets transgender women matching that story. Meanwhile, he believes his wife can’t live without him and if he divorces her, she’ll fall apart. It’s no wonder he feels anxiety, stress and indecision about his trans-attraction, born of split energies of wanting a transgender woman, believing they’re just fantasies, and needing to stay with his wife.
Those examples show how a man might have split energy. What split energy might a transgender woman have?
She might have a story that she wants to be with a man, yet believes all men who desire her are perverts, scum, or “chasers”. Or she might have the story that she can’t get a job because she’s trans, but also wants a job. So the men she meets are perverts and scum, and she remains unemployed, struggling and alone.
It should be obvious split energy also happens when someone has a desire they don’t believe is fulfillable. They don’t think their desire can happen. Desire existing alongside disbelief creates split energy too.
Why it’s a struggle
Many people struggle with split energy while not knowing they’re struggling. They think negative emotions indicating split energy – confusion, feeling uncertain, anxiety, insecurity and more – are just part of life.
But life is supposed to be fun, easy and filled with desires that fulfill themselves. Actually, that’s what’s happening all the time, even for someone with split energy.
But a person with split energy creates over and over, the reality containing and reflecting back to them, the combination of their split energy. That’s why nothing seems to change for the person, or why things change, but often stay the same or get worse.
In other words, life SUCKS when split energy dominates.
It’s more common than you think
Many popular communities generate split energy situations. Religions are a major culprit. Religions as sometimes practiced, contradict beliefs that are normal, wholesome and good. But some people in these organizations, especially trans-attracted and transgender people, but not only such people, create split energy when their natural, normal, wholesome desires contradict religious doctrine.
My clients who are Christian or Jewish struggle with stories taken from their religion. Their religious upbringing keeps them feeling unworthy, fearful, in shame, and in self reproach because religious teachings do not allow or agree that certain desires are natural, normal, wholesome and good.
A major source of split energy are religions combined with an authentic self at odds with religious doctrine. (Photo by Dejan Livančić on Unsplash)
I know some people practicing religion-inspired beliefs do not have that experience. I’m not saying that religion is bad across-the-board. So if you are a believer, a Christian or a Jew, and you’re happy, then enjoy your happy life. 😌
People who do come to me seeking what I offer, who also have backgrounds in religion, struggle at first with split energy generated from their desires and their religious beliefs.
You are god in a human body
For example, it’s very difficult for a Christian or a Jew to believe they are God in a human body creating reality as they move through life.
It’s difficult for some Christians to accept that they can fulfill all their desires, especially desires Christianity tells them are sinful or bad or will send them to hell.
Clients brought up in religion literally have one foot in their religious beliefs, and another foot testing the waters of something they know holds promise. They want their desires, but their religion says their desires are “sinful”. That’s split energy born of conflicting stories.
My mentor adds a beautiful dimension to all this:
“Continuing to tell stories of [for example] shortage only continues to contradict your desire for abundance, and you cannot have it both ways: You cannot focus upon unwanted and receive wanted. You cannot focus upon stories about money that make you feel uncomfortable and allow into your experience what makes you feel comfortable. A different story will bring different results: My thoughts are the basis for the [fulfillment] of all things that I consider to be good, which includes enough money, and health, for my comfort and joy.”
– Abraham
Other split energy sources
Religion isn’t the only source that can create split energy. Beliefs adopted from one’s parents or one’s culture often create split energy.
One of my client’s parents, for example, raised her to believe a woman must serve her family to the exclusion of her own desires. She is a powerful woman and is embracing this new approach I offer. As a result she is moving quickly through soothing these old beliefs.
My client learns how good it feels focused on oneself. An example of how good it feels cleaning up split energy.
And yet she finds it fascinating how much her old beliefs cause resistance in her which feels like a “struggle” to her. Her old beliefs tell her serving her own selfish desires is bad and wrong. In fact, there’s no better way to be in service to others than when one selfishly pursues one’s desires.
Why selfishness is good
Putting both feet in the “taking care of me” camp results in maximum connection to one’s Broader Perspective, that part of us that knows everything we want, where it is and how to get it. And it is that maximum connection that allows all that one desires to flow effortlessly into one’s life experience, including impulses that, when followed, put you squarely in a fulfilling desire’s path.
“Taking care of me” creates a life experience of joyful exuberance. One sees life experience shaping to the new stories, morphing from the old one and becoming the source or the foundation of a blissful life.
The blissful life leads to self love. And when one loves oneself, it is simple, easy, and joyful loving others. And being selfish, you become the most generous person anyone knows.
Integrating one’s stories so they all reflect what one wants creates wonderful epiphanies, seemingly amazing coincidences. Clear indisputable manifestations are so convincing, you get that life is meant to be fun.
Joyful non-resistance
Split energy resits fulfilling desires. Releasing resistance by cleaning up split energy uncovers every human being’s natural joy. The more a person stands with both feet in that joy, the more blissful their life gets. All of my clients experience this to one degree or another.
The Universe stands ready to deliver to anyone a life consistent with their goodness, their worthiness, their natural connection to the joy of being.
Everyone experiences the joy of life. Bogus stories mask that experience. Split energy results. Cleaning that up starts with wanting to clean it up. The rest happens automatically.
The reason why many transgender, trans-attracted and transamorous people have such a hard time meeting their matches is because they resist what they want.
A Transamorous Network client recently had an experience worth sharing. It not only shows how stories create reality, it also shows how, usually, trans and trans-attracted people don’t see connections between their stories and realities their stories create.
Not seeing those connections is why many transgender and trans-attracted people’s lives are so dismal, unsatisfying, lonely, depressing and more. Many such people feel powerless around doing something about such lives.
That’s why it’s important to know stories create reality. It’s also important knowing how to read the signs telling you what stories are creating what reality.
So let’s now turn to Selene’s story.
A transgender woman creates while not knowing she’s creating
Selene, who happens to be trans, came to her session in good spirits. She had a good New Year’s and Christmas, spent mostly at home with her family. The farm where she lives sits on cold, frozen farmland, but inside her home, good cheer, good food and family filled the space and warmed Selene’s heart.
That good cheer extended to her father, mother and sister, all of whom laughed and ate and opened presents together. Selene enjoyed a good family holiday. That mood continued days following Christmas.
Enjoying the holidays while being trans or trans-attracted is not as hard as you think. Click the photo to find out more. (Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash)
A couple days before her session, a customer entered the Starbucks where Selene works, ordered a drink, then took off his mask. He started drinking his beverage in the store. That behavior violated Starbucks’ COVID-19 policy.
Selene saw the customer and politely explained to him that, one, he couldn’t remove his mask while in the store and, two, he could not drink his beverage inside.
The man looked Selene up and down, then said “Are you trying to control what I’m doing sir?”
Then she heard her assistant manager behind her say “Sir, Selene is a woman, not a man. You must leave now.”
As the unruly customer turned to go, Selene added “It’s also illegal to retaliate against workers when they enforce statewide COVID policy.”
Not seeing the connections…until they’re seen
In her session a couple days after this experience, Selene wondered aloud why she experienced this. She thought such an experience wouldn’t happen since she’s been telling positive stories, evidenced by such a good holiday with her family.
Why did this unruly man enter her life experience? Why did she have such a confrontation? I remained silent.
A moment later, Selene started talking about something else. She thought she changed the subject. Little did she know, she was about to answer her questions herself.
Selene said she read an article on the internet. It described a new law now in effect in her area. It protects workers from retaliation when they enforce COVID-19 policies in their workplace.
After reading the article, Selene said, she liked the new law. She told me she thought about how cool it would be to have an experience where she could use it.
I looked at Selene silently. She got my look and smiled. It didn’t need saying, but I said it anyway:
“There is no mystery about this experience,” I said. “You were in your positive momentum of the holidays, feeling good, revelling in joy with your family. Then you read this article and felt confidence in the new information. Feeling confident, you declared wanting to use that law. So you created an experience consistent with your declaration: an opportunity to use it.”
Who comes into your experience depends on the stories you tell.
It’s obvious once seen
Life always shows how stories create reality. Most miss the connections, because they don’t believe that’s what’s happening. So when something happens now, they forget past nows wherein a story was told that creates the now happening.
Once you know how to see the clues, they’re obvious.
Here’s the formula using Selene’s example:
Selene felt wonderful from previous nows with her family. Those previous nows were born of work she’s been doing with The Transamorous Network for the last two years about her family.
In her wonderful feeling, she attracted a news story specifically about her work as a customer-facing employee. It’s likely Selene had an unexpressed desire to feel more protected at work around COVID and her gender. Thus her life experience revealed this news to her.
In the revealing, Selene felt better about her work as a customer-facing Starbucks employee. That confidence took it a step further: it had her express a desire for an experience matching that confidence, which would bolster said confidence.
Then she dropped the whole idea. She thought about it no further. She didn’t share the article. She forgot it until she brought it up in our session.
So, in only a few days, she got exactly the experience she wanted.
It always works this way…or it can
This is how stories always create reality. The reason why transgender and trans-attracted people have such a hard time meeting their matches, or getting anything they want, is because they resist what they want by focusing almost totally on what they don’t want.
They focus on sucky relationships they have or had. They focus on sucky relationships other trans or trans-attracted people share on social media. They think about tranny chasers, gold diggers and “hoes”. They are impatient with not having the relationship they want. They wallow in loneliness, yearning and sadness.
If instead transgender and trans-attracted people talked about positive things happening in their lives, about the positive aspects of relationships they DO have, about things they enjoy about their lives now, their lives would gradually include more of those things. And less negative people, experiences and circumstances.
Loving relationships aren’t hard to find. But if you think they are, then they are hard to find. The way out isn’t looking for loving relationships when you think they’re hard to find. The way out is changing your story about relationships.
