Yes, I have a girlfriend now. She happens to be trans. This is relatively new. And it’s consistent with everything I tell my clients. My life is a great example of how our stories about life create great love lives.
I call her “Muriel”. I’m honoring her privacy, so I’m not sharing her personal details. Which is interesting because just this week, I shared with Muriel my previous post introducing our situation to my readers. After reading the draft, Muriel, suggested maybe she had a photo of her I could include. One that wouldn’t reveal too much about her.
I thought that cute. My interpretation was she was as open to sharing our shared experience as I was. She is an avid Transamorous Network reader after all.
She sent me a couple pictures. Both were “rated PG” and flattering in my opinion. But I thought they’d not protect her privacy. Now, Muriel and I are a great match. So it wasn’t a surprise that I had already selected the exact same photos of her, photos she sent me weeks ago, to post. But then I decided not to. Back then too, I thought them too revealing. We laughed at that, then agreed not to include a photo at all.
That exchange shows how great how much of a match we are. Which, again, is what I tell my clients, both trans and trans-attracted. What I offer at The Transamorous Network is 100 percent effective. It always results in perfect matches. No dating site required. No bullshit. Just getting what you want.
It’s also no wonder then that Muriel called me “babe” for the first time this week. Now, I’m not gushing or “in love” or any of that common stuff people get into when first starting a relationship. I’m totally clear what’s going on. Especially what’s happening within me. So I’m getting what I want. And reveling in the fun Muriel and I enjoy.
I described what’s happening with Muriel and me to a transgender client this week. This client is enjoying similar results in her life. She marveled about how transparent and communicative we are around sensitive relationship topics. Topics such as sex, men bottoming, bottom surgery, and what we like and don’t like. It’s true, Muriel and I have had exemplary conversations on subjects many trans-attracted men and trans women end up bitterly fighting about or break up over.
But for Muriel and I, they’re no big deal. Just more opportunity for deepening the connection we share.
I’m eager to see where this goes. But I’m really enjoying where we are. And I’m reveling in our deepening intimacy. Just like I tell my clients to do.
Which is why I’m also celebrating her calling me babe by writing this post.
More trans-attracted men are coming out loving being bottoms. That’s a really great thing. Self-acceptance is everything. But it’s even greater when those men find their sexual-preference matches in transgender women.
Trans-attraction and transamory is normal, wholesome and good. It doesn’t matter that some transgender women don’t like the idea of a man “bottoming”. There are plenty of transgender women out there, guys, who will take pleasure in giving you pleasure through your ass.
Those men who know what I’m talking about don’t struggle finding their match. They’re out and proud about their desire. They accept it. And they accept themselves. So they end up with matches who accept them too. Which is something we say all day long at the The Transamorous Network. Accept yourself and you’ll more easily find your match.
This applies to both trans-attracted men AND transgender women.
Other people’s opinion: irrelevant
Lack of self-acceptance among transgender women AND trans-attracted men is rampant. For transgender women, lack of self acceptance can be really subtle. So subtle, the women won’t realize it. Much of a transgender women’s rejection of trans-attracted men stems from self rejection.
Meanwhile, many trans-attracted men feel the same about themselves. Which is why such men meet trans women who strongly reject them. Strongly rejecting trans-attracted men is a glaring indication that the woman rejects herself. And meeting such a woman tells you, men, that you have self-acceptance issues too.
Self acceptance escapes us the minute we care about what others think about us. It’s hard not caring when “others” include parents. Or close friends. Particularly those we believe will disown us. Still, cultivating an “I don’t care” attitude about others’ opinions is crucial to building self acceptance. That and telling stories about ourselves which foster self acceptance. This is something I show my clients how to do.
Is it any wonder they find immediate and long-lasting relief from feeling shitty about themselves? But they also find more than that. As they focus on learning to accept themselves, their dating results improve too. So they become even happier.
And as their happiness increases, they gradually find they’re all right. It’s a virtuous spiral. They feel good about themselves. Then the better they feel, the more accepting they become. The more accepting they get, the easier they find love. Then, before they know it, they find their perfect match. And along the way, they enjoy the process.
Meeting happy bottoms
I love it when from time-to-time I’ll get a comment from a guy proclaiming how much he enjoys bottoming. He’ll also rave about his partner, a trans woman who fully accepts him. Take this comment, for example:
You can see though that he still considers other people’s opinion. That’s what causes his “demoralized” feelings. But the fact that he’s got a loving trans woman who treats him like a king tells me something important about him. He tells more stories about accepting self more than he has stories about what other people think. I know this because he’s in a loving relationship.
The same can happen for any man or transgender woman out there looking for love and not finding it. All it takes is being willing. Being willing to examine one’s stories and do something about it. In time, the world around us MUST match our improved stories.
We can do this ourselves. But sometimes it’s nice to have guidance. Digging around in our stories can be tough. It’s hard to know sometimes what stories we’re telling. In such cases, someone like me helps a lot.
Not happy with who you are? Not finding the love you know you deserve? Perhaps I can help. Contact me. My results are guaranteed!
If you’ve read posts here before, you get a sense of our perspective. Humans create everything in our experience. Including other people. But nearly all of us are doing that unaware that’s what we’re doing. So we blame the world around us, and other people, for our troubles. All the while not realizing when we do that, we create more trouble for ourselves.
Tremendous amounts of power lie hidden in that very true synopsis of our perspective.
Trans-attracted men (and transgender women) are no exception to this. Most of us think the world around us some objective thing. It’s separate from us, not springing out of us as a reflection of our inner state. So it’s not a wonder trans-attracted men will react to inner awareness with fear. Their basis for self understanding is external, as it is for most of us. It doesn’t matter that that basis is flawed, which it is. When they notice something about themselves, they will consult the world around them for what’s true.
Transgender women do this too.
Unfortunately, the world around them will tell them they are the problem. Then, trying to fit in, they’ll hide this new awareness, or try changing it. Social ostracism, for the uninitiated trans-attracted guy, is a terrible thing. Familial ostracism is even worse. Ostracism from one’s manliness is an even more fearsome thing. No wonder such men struggle accepting what they are. Just like many transgender women.
It’s meant this way
But the world IS a reflection. And like all reflections, it’s an illusion. The paradox of this world though, is, if you walk onto a freeway, cars zooming toward you will kill you. So we must all contend with the powerful “reality” we put ourselves in that feels so real…when it’s, at the same time, not at all real.
After all, if we knew it wasn’t real coming in, the benefit of life would not be ours, would it? So we hypnotize ourselves into this “kill you” part of the paradox.
Meanwhile, the reflection serves us all. It aids in our becoming better versions of ourselves. “Better versions” look like increasingly pure expressions of divine intelligence. More direct expressions of All That Is, in other words.
“Trans” and “trans attraction” represent this purer, more direct expression. What do you think Divine Intelligence, or All That Is, looks like anyway? A grey-bearded white guy?
NO!
All That Is is “TRANS gender”. It comprises both genders while simultaneously rising above themall. It is more than the sum of its (infinite parts).
And so are we.
Physical reality is an illusion…that can kill you. (Photo by Chris Barbalis on Unsplash)
Back to the guys
Trans-attracted men are identical to transgender women when viewed from this perspective. They are on similar paths. You could say they are on different aspects of the same path. No one’s murdering these guys, sure. But again, it’s not the SAME path! It’s a DIFFERENT ASPECT of the same path. We could even call it a COMPLEMENTARY aspect.
In other words, while transgender people need no protectors, trans-attracted men can complement them in off-the-chart ways. But these men first must know what they’re doing with their trans-attraction. Their journey from Chaser to Transamory IS THAT PROCESS.
If transgender women were willing to change their view of such men, they would find powerful allies there. Yes, it takes a profound willingness to change one’s mind in the face of so much evidence to the contrary. And I know most transgender women won’t do stop looking at the contrary evidence long enough to do that. It’s true: self-loathing is a powerful elixir.
But some do. Some like my clients.
Every story can change. Even self loathing ones. A powerful figure with tremendous global influence once said of his tormentors “Forgive them Father. They know not what they do.” There’s great power in forgiveness. That and asking questions.
A simple question can change the course of even the most vile person. And in that way transgender women can become catalysts for trans-attracted men. If they choose to.
So, transgender women, the next time you get a dick pick from some online dating app you’d do better not being on, perhaps instead of getting mad, forgive the sender. He doesn’t know what he’s doing.
Then, maybe, ask them a question. Like: Why do you think sending me this picture will get you what you think you want?
Because it is all that we are. Including transgender and trans-attracted people. And if transgender and trans-attracted people understood this as their life experience, we wouldn’t be so desperate to get love. Love would come to us. With none of the drama, heartache or loneliness.
We want love so bad because we’ve been – as one client put it recently – entrained into bogus stories. Stories that say we’re not enough. Some bogus stories say we’re incomplete if we’re not in a relationship. Others say we should be lonely if we’re not in a relationship. Some even go so far as to claim something is wrong with us if we’re not seeking coupledom.
There are far more bogus stories than these which have us desperately seeking love. The irony of all these stories is how far they’re off the mark. The love all of us – myself included at one time – desperately seek outside ourselves is a lot closer than we think.
And it’s THAT love we all really want. That love is self-love. Self-love is the experience of one’s self as enough. But it goes even farther than that. It is radical adoration for all that we are…and all we’re becoming. Even though we haven’t yet fully become that.
Do you want to be right or happy?
This self-love tangibly expresses the reality that we each ARE love, flowing ourselves constantly into a human body. Clients who stick with me for a while come to this realization. When they do, it’s a profound shift in their life. It usually comes after they create things or “manifestations” consistent with their dreams.
In other words, the shift happens when they create a life consistent with positive stories about their life and what they want. That usually doesn’t happen until they’re ready to give up stories they tell creating a life they don’t want.
Part of that journey requires giving up being right. It’s “true” that many men are chasers, cheaters or won’t date a trans woman in public. It’s “true” that many transgender women are bat-shit crazy, cold diggers or call girl/OnlyFans obsessed. So both transgender women and trans-attracted men get to be right.
I always ask my clients though: Which would you rather be, right or happy? That’s another bogus story we hold tightly to. “I’d rather be right than happy. I must face the facts. I must tell it like it is.”
A lot of people prefer being right. Including trans-attracted people and trans women. I find that a shame when happiness is so easily had.
The problem with telling it like it is is, when we do, we keep getting more of “like it is” than what we want. The same goes with love. Other people, society, social media and our life in general train us into believing this love that we ARE doesn’t exist. So we seek it out “in the world”. But we do that through stories which create less love and a lot of “telling it like it is”.
That’s why so many of us are unhappy, angry and lonely.
Love is good. Even when it hurts.
Love is awesome. It’s so good for us. Being in love with another, whether human or animal, gives us a glimpse of what life can be when we consistently tune in to the love that we ARE.
We as love are unconditional. That means we love everyone and everything. Not so with loving a partner, or even a pet. The split second our love interest does something we at all that disappoints us, we’re out of love. We’re in annoyance, frustration, anger or fear. Or worse…betrayal.
Real love isn’t compatible with those emotions. Real love keeps on loving. Even when the object of our love acts “unlovable”. That’s why the love we are keeps loving us. It is unconditional. So when we fail to love, it still loves us. That’s why it feels so bad when we fail to love.
Abraham saying being in love is key to getting what we want.
Love brings us what we want easily
But that love that loves us even when we’re not loving is more than just a feeling. When a person taps into themselves as that love, not only do they no longer NEED love from another (animal or person), they find a richer, more satisfying, more consistent love. That love, of course, is the love they ARE. It’s unconditional, always there and feels more deep than any love anything outside us can give.
The cool thing about that love, the love we all are, is, living from there, everything else we want comes easily. Partners, lovers or whatever, it doesn’t matter. That’s because our world is a reflection of our inner state. When we’re unhappy or lonely, it’s very hard to get the love we want. Because when we’re unhappy or lonely, we’re not a match to love. But when we’re in the love that we are, then the world must reflect that love back to us.
What does that look like?
It looks like a life where everything naturally works out. Where life just gets better and better.
It doesn’t happen all at once. Change happens gradually. But proof it’s happening is obvious if we know where to look. I teach my clients where to look. Once blind, they now see evidence everywhere. And the more they see, the more they eventually find the love they are. Then they get the love they want.
I met a transgender woman today “in the wild”. No dating sites, no struggle. The meeting was effortless, just like I promise my clients how they’ll meet their matches. But this wasn’t about me meeting my match, although she kind of was. Instead, it was was an awesome example of how easy everyone can get what they want. That is, if they tell the right stories.
Every experience represents a match. Life experience always is an outward reflection of one’s inner being state. Another way of saying that is our life reflects stories we tell.
So this experience tells me my inner state is full of wonder! The meeting happened so naturally. So naturally, the experience delighted both of us. But what happened at the end was more than I expected. It literally blew my mind…in a good way.
Here’s how all this marvelousness went down:
It happens when you least expect it
Today (May 4 ), I went on a walk, which I usually do daily. While walking through a business neighborhood, I saw a person coming towards me, about 200 feet ahead. I enjoy the transgender version of “Gaydar”, which usually makes it easy for me to spot transgender people. So I knew, even from a distance, she was trans.
But there was something else I felt besides my usual trans-attraction. Something more was in store, I felt, though what that was I couldn’t say.
Situations like this have happened many times before. Moving around town, minding my own business, I’ll suddenly come across a transgender person. In the past, such experiences caught me off guard and speechless. But over time, I resolved not to be caught off guard and let me speechless. Even though they happen when I least expect it, I resolved not to let the surprise shut me down. Instead, I promised myself I’d remain open and alert. Alert so I can offer what comes to mind. Usually that’s words or encouragement. Or something I might say which lets them know someone appreciates them being on the planet.
Often the person will appreciate me doing so. Sometimes, not so much. I’ve gained a sensitivity these days to know which response I’ll get. Knowing this, I can choose to speak. Or not.
So this time, I was ready. I knew something cool would happen. But I didn’t know it was going to be as cool as it turned out to be.
As natural as breathing
As we converged on each other, we locked eyes. She looked directly at me with big, brown beautiful eyes, eyes I think that also realized something magical was happening. She had indigenous markings on her face, wore bohemian garb and her long brown hair pulled into a long tail over her shoulder.
I said hi. She did the same. The connection was palpable, the magic electrifying the space between us. After we passed one another, I felt a strong urge to look back. Just like the scene in Meet Joe Black between Brad Pitt and Claire Forlani. Minus getting killed by New York Traffic, of course.
After going another 50 feet or so, I did look back. It was no surprise that at that very moment, she looked back too! So I turned around and headed back to her. Closing that distance, I felt an even greater urge to talk with her.
Meeting your match is as natural as breathing. That is, if you’re telling positive stories about a lot of subjects. Do that and it’s literally impossible not to make the connection. When it happens you know exactly what to say. You can’t blow, it in other words. Meanwhile, the other person, equally taken, willingly plays their part as the rendezvous unfolds.
The best way to meet someone
This kind of experience is far superior to online dating. The joy, freedom and spontaneity of meeting your match “in the wild” online dating can’t hold a candle to. Which is why nearly all my clients eventually prefer meeting their match in the wild rather than online. Besides, that online experience sucks for most people!
Phoebe, as she calls herself, and I enjoyed an initial, brief but intense conversation. I learned she was headed to buy wine at the grocer nearby. Friends of hers were throwing a party in her honor as she’s planning to buy a new pick-up truck. I asked if she lived nearby. Yes, she said. She pointed vaguely in the direction of a home I used to own in this neighborhood.
I didn’t ask where, exactly, she lived. I did tell her I felt a strong kismet about our meeting. She agreed. Something told me an important unfolding was about to happen. I told her I knew what that was, but also said I wanted to keep that to myself.
I actually thought that important thing was her being trans and me being transamorous. That was part of it, but it wasn’t the “main course”. That was still on the way. Even so, at this point, Phoebe’s and my energy mesmerized us both. We couldn’t get enough of each other.
But I had to finish my walk.
So, after that short rendezvous, I asked to give her a hug. She agreed. We hugged, then went our separate ways. I didn’t look back this time.
About three blocks later, the main event hit me like a bolt right between the eyes….
The awesome set up
About a year ago, I had lunch in this same business district with a friend, Mark. After lunch we went for a walk through side streets paralleling the district. Mark and I share a fondness for tiny houses. So it wasn’t too surprising that we came upon a cute little tiny house community. Both of us were stunned at how cute these little homes were. Each one was different but together they created an eclectic mix of eccentric design.
Two of the cottage like tiny houses Mark and I came across.
As we passed these homes, I saw a transgender woman walk into the unit on the left in the photo above. At that time, I thought to myself, “I’d really like to see that girl again and I’d like to know what that place looks like inside…”
Little did I know back then I had set myself up for something wondrous…
Ask and it is given
The Universe always delivers on our desires. We ask, and the Universe delivers. But to receive the delivery we must be there to open the door. That means we must be a match to receiving what it is we ask for. This explains the purpose of telling positive stories. The more positive we are about life, the more we match things we ask for.
We’re always asking. And often, those things which we receive easiest, happen because we don’t think too much about them. In other words, we don’t have as much resistance about what we’re asking for. With these tiny houses and the transgender woman, I made a casual request, not really expecting anything. I just thought it would be nice to see this girl again, and get a tour of those cottages…
So as I walked those three blocks after meeting Phoebe, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Phoebe lived in that tiny house! I just knew it in my bones. This message showed up so clearly in my head…not as a thought I was thinking, but as pure intuition. And THIS was the reason for the rendezvous: It was the manifestation (two really) of my expressed desire made a year ago!
At this point I was so thrilled by this I had to tell Phoebe. So I doubled back towards the grocery. I got to the grocery in perfect timing. For as I rounded the corner, she had just come round from the front of the store. She saw me and smiled, then crossed the street. It was obvious she was happy to see me.
“I’m glad you came here,” she said, not surprised.
A beautiful rendezvous
I told her the story of my walk with Mark. I didn’t tell her the part about touring her home. She confirmed she did, indeed, live in that tiny house. I asked to walk her home, to which she agreed. During that walked I learned we had a lot in common. Like me, she’s a Veteran. She believes in and lives her life mainly from spirit, as I do. We identify similarly and use highly unique, identical pronouns. And, of course, there was that energy. Energy born of her being two-spirit, I learned, and me being transamorous.
I asked for her number, which she readily gave me. Then we arrived at her tiny house. She told me the story of how they were built by a gay contractor specifically for Veterans and disabled Vets. When we arrived at her front door, she invited me in. I wasn’t surprised of course, but pretended I was. She said it was the least she could do since I walked her home.
The place was pretty cool. But what was even more cool was how this all unfolded. It was a perfect demonstration of how effective telling positives stories is. Everyone possesses the ability to create a reality matching their wildest desires.
I’m in the process of creating pretty wild desires. I’m seeing evidence of those desires bearing fruit. What’s really cool is seeing my clients experiencing similar results in their lives. For their experiences add to the assertion that we all create our reality. All that’s needed is telling stories consistent with what we want.
The rest is up to the Universe!
Want to know more about how this is possible? Leave a comment or write me directly.
Post script
I met Phoebe again the following weekend on a perfect, sunny day. We spent three hours together, talking about our lives, things we shared, things we don’t. It was a natural unfolding. And, I knew the fullness of this relationship reached its peak when I toured her home. For there are things about her, and about me which make us not a match for anything other than the wonderful rendezvous we ha and maybe as a budding friendship.
Of course, I’m not at all disappointed by this outcome. It’s actually perfect. A perfect stepping stone to the next wonderful rendezvous I’m sure is on the way…
