When a playmate means something

Ines Rau
Playboy’s newest playmate: transgender model Ines Rau.

There have only been a few times when Hugh Hefner’s Playboy magazine used it’s societal prominence to score a strategic win for human rights. The first was the magazine’s debut itself. For it recast women as sexual beings deserving of a right to sexuality. Ironic. Because the magazine is regarded by some as a sexist objectifying rag.

Everything can be seen in multiple fashions depending on your story.

As an icon of early American sexuality, Playboy used it’s culture-shaping influence, literally, to influence a number of women’s causes, including abortion rights in the 60s and 70s. So says a University history professor in a recent Fortune Magazine article on the subject.

“In its heyday in the 60s and 70s, Playboy was supportive of mainstream liberal feminist causes,” says Carrie Pitzulo, an adjunct history professor at Colorado State University and author of the 2011 book Bachelors and Bunnies: The Sexual Politics of Playboy. The magazine “was considered an empire; a cultural leader at that time.”

The magazine’s stance on women’s reproductive rights, Pizulo says, “helped move the culture in a freer direction for everyone.” And its advocacy reflected Hefner’s personal espousal of sexual freedom in every form.

Right around this time, eight years before Roe v. Wade, Playboy took another daring move: featuring a black woman for the first time, in March 1965, as playmate of the month. 1965! Ballsy approach Hef, for we know at that time the civil rights for African Americans was in full swing. As it was announced that Jenny Jackson would be the March playmate, as you’d expect back then, cis-het white males were up in arms:

cis-het-white rants

Today it’s the same thing as Playboy prepares to make history again, again at a crucial social moment, by featuring transgender model Ines Rau in its pages. As the second quote above shows, history is repeating itself. There are a handful of people lambasting the magazine, pulling their subscription or threatening to do to. But you can bet there are just as many Playboy subscribers (and likely far more) salivating for the upcoming issue so they can feast their eyes on the beautiful Rau. Just as there probably were cis-het-white men secretly salivating to feast their eyes on a naked Jenny Jackson.

History does repeat itself it seems. But there is always ALWAYS progress.

We are all doing great

Yes, you’re trans.IMG_1063

Yes, you’re a feminist

Yes, you may be pissed at cis-het-men.

Yes, you may be a cis-het-man

Yes, you may be hate chasers.

Yes, you may be in the chaser stage.

Yes, you my be afraid of the future.

Yes, you may fear for your safety.

Yes, you may love to feel loved.

Yes, you may have desires you feel you may never realize.

Yes, you may crave intimacy.

Yes, you may wonder if you’ll ever have that.

Yes, there are probably a thousand other things I could put down that would describe the fears, aspirations, desires, concerns, hopes and dreams you have. But above (mostly) all, you are human.

You’ll make what people call mistakes (they aren’t). You’ll get triggered, not by what people say or do, but by the stories you make up about what they say or do.

You’ll fail to realize that everyone around you is in the same boat: they’re human too. You’ll judge, thinking you have the moral high ground (no one does).

You’ll wish you had it differently, envying others’ station, while being oblivious to your own blessings and the power you have to change your circumstances, whenever you want, for the better.

You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. While perhaps never knowing what those emotions are about or what they’re telling you.

You will die.

Perhaps before that, you’ll achieve a peace and prosperity born of realizing just how profound a being you are.

And when you do, whether it happens before or after you shuffle off this mortal coil, you will find that all the while, you were doing fucking fantastic.

Lying isn’t going to work

Ladies: There is no way you are going to form a strong relationship foundation on a lie. Lying about who you are is not only disrespectful to any guy you might meet, it is disrespecting  you.

What kind of story are you telling yourself to feel like you have to lie about who and what you are?

“No men will ever want me.”  That’s just a story.

“Straight men don’t want to be with a transgender person.” That’s just a story too.

“I have to lie to get around being transgender.” so is that one.

Ok, so you consider yourself a Woman. Great. But you also have a unique path to being that which you are. And some men aren’t ok with it. That’s not a big deal! There are many who are!

But if you’re asking a guy to accept you as a person, but you’re not willing to share all that you are as the person you are, so the guy can make a fully-informed choice about being with you, then what’s the point?

There is no reason you have to lie about who and what you are in order to have what you want. Be yourself and be proud of that. Be patient and before you know it, in your integrity, you will find what you’re wanting. But you’ll never find it so long as you’re telling yourself that you need to lie about what and who you are.

This story is sad. But not because of what happened to her. It’s sad because of what she is doing to herself.

The civil rights issue of our time

McBride_with_Vice_President_Biden
Sarah McBride and Joe Biden

Sarah McBride’s book is coming out soon. Former Vice President Joe Biden wrote the forward for her memoir saying transgender equity is the civil rights issue of our time.

I agree.

It’s one of the many reasons why I frequently draw parallels between transgender equality and the civil rights movement of the 60s. There are so many common struggles, events, tactics and strategies being used in the transgender equality movement that almost identical to those used to bring civil rights to black people.

You may remember Sarah McBride. She made history by becoming the first transgender woman to address a major political party when she spoke at the Democratic National Convention. Her new memoir is called Tomorrow Will Be Different: Love, Loss, and the Fight for Trans Equality.

We also had a small cameo in her illustrious life, featuring her on our YouTube show this year.

I’m not surprised McBride got the Obama-era VP to write the forward for her memoir, just as I’m not surprised at the parallels between this modern-day civil rights issue and the one from the bygone era. I’m just happy to be doing my part with The Transamorous Network to make it possible for transgender people everywhere to get the rights they deserve.

Kudos Sarah. And thanks to Biden for recognizing the plight of transgender Americans.

This should be no surprise

The number of transgender people running for office recently has skyrocketed. That’s such wonderful news, because it more representation in our “lawmaking halls” will mean more legislation favorable toward transgender people.

Here’s an awesome perspective on this, which was excerpted from this report:

A survey of 2,400 U.S. state lawmakers regarding their choice to support or reject same-sex marriage conducted by Alissandra Stoyan and Andrew Reynolds from UNC’s LGBTQ Representation and Rights Research Initiative revealed the votes of straight lawmakers were importantly influenced by their LGBTQ colleagues.

The reason behind this appears to be that simply knowing someone who is LGBTQ makes people more likely to support LGBTQ rights.

“Being visible and present continues to change hearts and minds, and humanize us and our issues,” Aisha C. Moodie-Mills, President and CEO of the Victory Fund, told NBC OUT.

According to Reynolds, “When LGBTQ people come out, they become your daughter, uncle, friend, work colleague. They become humanized, normalized. We know that the number of people who support marriage equality tracks the number of people who say they know someone who is gay.”

Check out this great graph. It shows the increasing number of transgender people running for office and the number elected. These data are from 2015. They don’t include this year or last. What this tells me is, the future is bright. Very bright. That’s cause to celebrate.

Screen Shot 2017-07-25 at 20.50.56 PM

Now, if you frequent our content, you know that focusing on news like this, creates more awareness of similar news. As you focus on more of that kind of news, you feel better. As you feel better (whether you believe it or not) you are creating by virtue of feeling better, more experiences of connecting with more similar kinds of news. That means you create more of this kind of progress in physical reality.

If instead you focus on news that is depressing, negative, and disempowering, the same holds true. You feel worse. As you feel worse you are creating through your negative feelings more experiences of connection with similar kinds of news. That means you create more of this kind of (negative) progress in your physical reality.

And this is where your freedom comes in: you are free to create whatever “reality” you want to experience. The choice it completely yours. So why not create what you want, instead of what you don’t?

A wonderful life experience can be yours.