The Best Way To Improved Transgender Lives

Photo by Vil Son on Unsplash

Many trans-attracted men and transgender women have a hard time with this because it sounds so unbelievably “absurd”. And yet, there’s ample evidence supporting the notion. The notion that the fastest way to a better life, whether it’s finding a partner, having family accept us or finding more freedom in society, comes from first accepting how life is now.

Now, some transgender women who come to this story will push hard against this. Their experience seemingly shows them the best way to change a life situation is to push against it, resist it, protest about it.

But one of life’s many paradoxes is, it is the accepting of what is that makes change happen faster. And, in every case where change happens, that’s what makes it happen. Even when it looks like that’s not happening.

An old client of mine found this to be the case. After a l-o-n-g period of her family disowning her, she recently IM’d me with delightful news:

A former client realizes a long-held desire. Her family had disowned her. But now, after practicing what we offer at The Transamorous Network, she’s manifested a long-held wish.

Make peace release resistance

Persistent negative experiences, especially involving other people, remain persistent because we focus on trying to change the experience. But the problem with changing the experience involves why we want to do that. Typically, humans want change because they don’t like what they have. Trans-attracted men feel shame about their trans-attraction, for example. They don’t want to feel that awful emotion. So they try changing what they are.

But if they make peace with their trans-attraction, “shame” gets replaced with “being ok with what is.” That making peace eliminates one’s focus on the unwanted experience. Eventually “being ok” allows the person to explore their bogus stories about trans-attraction. Stories like “I must be gay” or, “my family will disown me”, under dispassionate scrutiny can then turn into more empowering stories.

In the absence of resistance, change will show up. Especially when the person focuses on what they want, while being ok with what they have.

That’s part of the practice I share with my clients. As simple as it seems, it has powerful, enduring force. Force born of what creates and maintains the Universe.

Future improvement

The same goes with transgender women. If we want love from men, love that looks like what we want, we must stop looking at experiences that don’t match that. We also need to stop complaining about those experiences. Complaining is focus. Negative focus. Negative focus amplifies that which we complain about. Since the Universe gives us what we focus on, not what we want, the Universe in this situation will give us more to complain about.

But when we come to peace with experiences we’re having and revel in the reality that we’re creating those experiences, we embrace our power. And there, future experiences MUST look different. Especially if we focus on what we want, instead of what we don’t.

Abraham, one of my spiritual guides, putting it plainly. Improvement happens speedily when we accept our present.

We must stop complaining. Focus on what we want instead. Appreciate, or at the very least, accept what we have. For the change we want can’t happen so long as we resist what we have.

But in the acceptance, we come into eventual new futures. Futures aligned with everything we want. It’s the Charmed Life I write about on my other blog.

Having trouble not complaining? Give me a shoutout. I can help!

Trans-Attracted Men Come In Great Varieties

Photo by Nicholas Green on Unsplash

I spoke with many a transgender woman’s dream today. This guy checks all the boxes. Sean (not his real name) recognizes and owns his trans-attraction as super-positive. He’s single (divorced) and never had sex with escorts or prostitutes, trans or otherwise. Sean never watched porn, including transgender porn. He takes care of himself physically, lives in a ski resort town and is active and attractive.

As I said, a transgender woman’s dream as far as I can tell.

Sean doesn’t drink or party and he doesn’t smoke. He prefers hanging out in intimate settings. His family and his ex wife both know about his trans-attraction. The wife even knew before they got married!

But after 10 years of marriage, his wife grew intolerant of his, as he puts it, “non-Alpha male ways”. Sean enjoys women friends over male friends. He wears his emotions on his sleeve so he gets his feelings easily hurt. Sean is sensitive in other words. Over time, these characteristics got on his ex-wife’s nerves, he said. So she used his trans-traction as the reason for leaving him.

Of course when someone blames another for their experience, the real problem always lies with the person doing the blaming. After ten years Sean never cheated on his wife, he says. As I wrote above, she knew about his trans-attraction from the get-go. Sean can’t explain why his wife changed her mind about their marriage after ten years.

Getting on track to self-acceptance

Even so, Sean says the divorce was a blessing. Getting divorced allowed him freedom to consciously explore his trans-attraction, which he just started doing. He knows it won’t go away, he says. He felt this way since he was a child.

During his early exploration, he thought he’d never meet a transgender woman in his ski resort town. It’s full of tourists, he says, and most of those people are mainstream. But after exploring his attraction more deeply, one day, in a grocery store, he spied a transgender woman and her boyfriend shopping. It was a huge shift for him, he said. It convinced him he could enjoy the relationship he really wants. I encouraged Sean to see this rendezvous as a sign of him progressing toward his desire. And the more he accepts all he is, the more such rendezvous he will enjoy.

Meanwhile, discovering The Transamorous Network offered Sean a different perspective. While some think The Transamorous Network the worst thing to come along for transgender women, the network actually helps a lot of people. Including transgender people. It provides uplifting messages for men struggling with themselves. It also encourages transgender women let go of negative stories keeping them from enjoying the love that so often eludes them. That’s why so many trans and trans-attracted people write us in appreciation for our content. It’s also why our clients live increasingly exceptional lives.

Like many men, Sean saw value in our material and contacted me through our free 1:1. “I’m done with vaginas,” he said at some point in our conversation. And he means it.

Happiness and love comes from within

Many trans-attracted men say this. Myself included. It doesn’t mean what some people interpret it to mean.

Being “done with vaginas” means a man finally accepts his attraction to transgender women. It doesn’t mean all such men want pre-op transgender women. But it does signify a recognition of that “je ne sais quoi” I often say transgender women possess. A “something else” that cisgender women don’t have. And I’m not talking about a penis.

So many trans-attracted men try avoiding their natural, wholesome trans-attraction by hiding out in vaginas. Meanwhile, I get to meet guys like Sean. Guys eager to do some self-exploring. Doing so begins a new era in a guy’s life. An era where the guy can accept and eventually come to love all that he brings to the table.

Self-acceptance represents a big part of what makes a person happy. Comparing ourselves to others, or fearing what others think of us, both represent recipes for unhappiness. Caring what others think about us can produce happiness. But that happiness rests on a shaky foundation. Because no one comes here to make other people happy. Our happiness is our job. No one else’s.

That’s why the best, most stable happiness comes from within. And happy people attract happy love. So a satisfying love life starts with happiness. And happiness best happens through self-acceptance. That’s something trans-attracted men AND transgender women could practice more. And if they do, more will find the love they seek. It’s why all my clients find themselves experiencing increasing happiness, then better love lives.

Thinking of wanting to accept your trans-attraction? Are you trans and tired of meeting men who only want to see you in the shadows? Let’s explore greater self-acceptance and get you ready to meet your match. Start here.

Get Our 1:1 Matchmaking Service at 50 Percent Off!!

It’s spring everybody!

And whether it’s the birds or the bees or humans or trees….It’s love season! Let’s get you some!

For a limited time and for limited peeps, we’re offering a 50 percent discount on our 1:1 Matchmaking services. Trans-Attracted men can get our exclusive, effective, guaranteed 1:1 service for $100 a month (original subscriptions: $200/mo). Transgender people get the same great services for $75 a month (normally $150/mo). That amounts to a $14/hr session rate for men and a $10/hr session rate for transgender women.

We haven’t offered a discount…ever. Five slots are open starting TODAY for each category, so, claim your spot by selecting your option below and hitting that subscribe button now.

Please Select

After selecting your category and completing the subscription we’ll redirect you to our calendar where you can schedule you monthly session date and time. Then you’re set!


Yes! I guarantee it too! But if you’re curious about the process go here and read about how it works. Or read the real life expressions of appreciation below.

(ABOVE) A trans-attracted client raving over how his life has changed.

Read a long-form testimonial of a transgender woman who not only found her match, but married him…all as a result of the practice!

(ABOVE) Another trans-attracted client expressing appreciation after successfully eliminating ideas of committing suicide from his life over his trans-attraction.
(ABOVE) A trans-attracted client expresses appreciation in an unique way…
(ABOVE) My very first transgender client thanking me via Facebook for changing her life for the better. She now sails around the world with her lover on a sailboat!

Of course, you can contact me with any questions, or schedule a FREE trial 1:1 to ask in person.

The Best Life Is Available To All, Trans or Trans-attracted

Photo by Jamie Brown on Unsplash

Sometimes transgender women, and trans-attracted men, will say to me something totally contrary to how reality works. Then I tell them how reality works. When I do, such people come back with all kinds of reactions.

They call me arrogant. Or claim my assertions are “absurd”. They’ll say I’m blaming the victim. In other words, they’ll double down on their stories about how reality works. Even though the way reality works for them causes them great dissatisfaction. In other words, they blame reality for situations they find themselves in.

Not my clients though.

The thing is, my clients learn how to take control of their lives, so reality responds to their commands. Meanwhile those double-downing on reality being objectively real keep creating the same experiences over and over. Little do they know they are creating that world, a world telling them they don’t control it. So their stories show up as “true” for them.

A reader of my blog-double downing on his disempowering stories.

And it is the truth for them because their stories about reality create the reality that confirms their stories.

So in reality (LOL) they are controlling their reality. They’re just controlling it in a way that creates a perception that they’re not. And they do it over and over so it becomes “true”.

It can be different

Which is why I have my clients examine their belief constellations. For it is our constellations of stories or beliefs that create our reality. Not what we want. Changing what’s in the constellations changes realities we create. The more we tell stories about what we want, the more “what is” shapes to what we want. Tell stories about what we don’t want and we get reality containing that.

I don’t blame people who double down on their ignorance. There’s no blame to be spread. Everyone is empowered and the Universe stands ready to bend to everyone’s command. Being in command though requires thinking differently. That starts with examining how one already thinks.

Abraham echoing what my clients discover. The discovery sparks mystery and joyful revelations too. Who doesn’t want that?

This belief constellation analysis is easier said than done. Which explains the benefit of doing so with someone who knows how. Often our most dominant stories, those with the most creative power, run under our conscious radar. So it can be hard to see what’s going on in our minds.

But uncovering what’s happening in our minds opens whole new worlds of possibilities, mysteries and joyful discoveries. It literally makes every dream available. And that makes the effort worth putting in.

That’s why my clients feel so inspired and empowered. Once they see what they want showing up everywhere, inspiration takes over. After a while, they become more bold in their aspirations.

It’s waiting for us all

My own aspirations now lie far above what most believe possible. Yet, I already see evidence they are manifesting. Anything is possible. Only stories limit that.

And that’s why I really enjoy this practice. Practicing it with others amplifies my own joy. Some men say being with a transgender woman represents the “best of both worlds”. Well, I disagree. The the best of the best of worlds is realizing I am deliberate creator, creating the reality consistent with my most bold desires and helping others do the same.

The best of what life offers is ours. All we need do is believe it is. Then it becomes that. Then that becomes our life. The delicious Charmed Life I write about.

Ready for yours?

The World Is So Much Better For Transgender People

Photo by Kyle on Unsplash

Holy smokes. What I saw in December blew me away. I’m only publishing this now because I schedule posts eight weeks in advance. But it’s no less amazing. It’s a testament to the unfolding perfection of All That Is and how All That Is supports transgender people. Even when it looks like it doesn’t.

A long-time cisgender friend prompted this post. He’s a strong progressive cause ally, including supporting the transgender community. We’re kindred that way. That’s why I wasn’t surprised to get his text. But I was surprised by what he shared.

He shared a link to a video. My friend does this infrequently, but frequently enough that I don’t click on links he sends me right away. But with this one, I did. Because the thumbnail compelled me.

The video promotes a whiskey product. It’s one of the best cause marketing commercials I’ve seen. And I should know about cause marketing because in a previous incarnation, I worked in PR and Corporate Social Responsibility. Take a look:

A beautiful story beautifully told

The commercial begins with an elderly couple. While the husband sits in a chair, the wife wanders about the house on the phone. Unbeknownst to the wife, the husband has a predisposition for women’s make up. He goes into the bathroom, locks the door and tries practicing with lipstick…but his results frustrates him.

Several scenes indicate the man’s depth of interest. It’s almost as if the guy questions his interest in such a thing. Nonetheless, he ends up getting pretty good at applying makeup to his own face.

But then, during the holiday season, the extended family shows up for familial celebrations. Among the family members is 26-year-old “Alvaro”. Who we now understand as Alvaro’s grandfather, looks at his grandson and has a hunch. He invites the young person into the bathroom wherein the two have an intensely personal, intimate moment.

The two exit the bathroom and, to everyone’s astonishment, Alvaro is now “Ana”. The entire family is in tears and Ana is heartily welcomed.

The rest is amazing commercial history.

“Transgender”: Here to stay

Thirty-plus years ago when rap music wasn’t what it is today, the famous Quincy Jones produced a song called “Back on the Block”. Among samples he used in his production was a statement by Rev. Jessie Jackson. Towards the end of the song, which is a medley of various rap genre’s, Jackson is sampled saying:

“Now I would – I would contend that ah –
The rappers – rap is here to stay”

Thirty years later, rap is still going strong. Jackson was right.

In the same way, we are seeing something similar with transgender people. So many successful transgender people now exist. Not only are they in entertainment, they also are in politics and business and mental health. They’re authors, speakers, teachers. They’re everywhere.

And more are coming in to the world all the time.

It makes being a transgender person in the world much easier. More than ever, transgender people can find support in abundance. The fact that a major liquor brand is on board with transgender people is astonishing. Especially so as the ad J&B produced is in Spanish. The language of a culture that, in some places around the world still considers being gay a crime. And being trans something worse.

The world is so much better for transgender people. I only hope that more transgender people discover what my transgender clients discover. That is that the only thing keeping a transgender person these days from discovering and then living a joyful life are the stories such a person tells, which creates something different from the life they want.

The world is increasingly on the side of transgender people. Of course, it’s always been that way. But today it’s more so than ever. What a great time to be alive Transgender or Trans-attacted!

If you’re life isn’t going great and you want it to, I can help.