Tag: trans attraction

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How Trans-Attraction Offers Potential for True Self Love

TL;DR: The author argues that trans-attraction dynamics repeat not because of blame or fetishization alone, but because relationships mirror unresolved beliefs, requiring lived integration rather than intellectual agreement to transform outcomes.

There is a particular frustration that shows up again and again in conversations about trans-attraction. It appears on all sides. Trans women describe feeling reduced, evaluated, or used. Trans-attracted men describe confusion, shame, and a sense that no matter what they do, they are already suspect. Cis partners describe a persistent sense that something important is being withheld from them. Different positions, same frustration.

What makes this dynamic especially charged is that everyone involved usually feels justified. Each person can point to real experiences supporting their interpretation. The problem is not that anyone is lying. The problem is that the explanations most commonly used to understand trans-attraction do not actually change what keeps happening.

When a pattern repeats, it is asking to be understood, not judged.

Consider Daniel. That isn’t his real name, but his story will be familiar. Daniel is thoughtful, intelligent, and deeply uncomfortable with the fact that he is attracted to transgender women. He’s afraid he’s gay. He does not see himself as predatory nor does he want to hurt anyone. Yet his behavior, when viewed from the outside, often causes exactly the harm he fears. Daniel compartmentalizes his attraction, hides parts of himself, and moves cautiously in ways that feel evasive to others. That’s what feels harmful to those he encounters.

Through all this, what Daniel experiences internally is panic. The moment attraction arises, a cascade of identity questions follows. He wonders what his attraction says about him, how it will be perceived, and whether it will destroy the life he has built. That fear makes honesty feel dangerous. It makes secrecy feel like safety. From that place, he tells himself he will figure things out later, once the panic settles.

For most such men, “later” never comes. Or it comes much, much later…

The Flip Side Persona

Now consider Elena. That also isn’t her real name, but her experience is just as recognizable. Elena is trans, perceptive, emotionally intelligent, and well acquainted with being misread. She has encountered men who treated her as an experiment, a fantasy, or a private indulgence. Those experiences taught her to read signals quickly and to trust patterns more than promises.

When a man approaches her, she notices tone, pacing, and subtext. She listens for hesitation and watches for deflection. Often, she is right. Her discernment has protected her. At the same time, however, something else has quietly happened. Anticipation has begun to replace curiosity. The story about what’s going to happen gets written before it actually happens.

Neither Daniel nor Elena is wrong. Yet when they meet, something familiar unfolds anyway. Daniel senses Elena’s guardedness and feels confirmed in his fear of being seen as dangerous or defective. Elena senses Daniel’s hesitation and feels confirmed in her belief that men like him are “tranny chasers”. Each reaction reinforces the other and the loop closes.

It’s also the point where many explanations rush in. Some name fetishization. Others name transphobia. Some name trauma. Each explanation contains truth. None of them, however, explain why Daniel keeps meeting Elenas who feel closed, or why Elena keeps meeting Daniels who hesitate or misstep at the same moment.

This is where mirror consciousness becomes unavoidable. “Mirror Consciousness” is a new name I’m applying to the approach I use to help clients create lives they love.

Trans-attraction is a function of “mirror consciousness”. It is an amplified version of what happens in all relationships.

Enter “Mirror Consciousness”

Mirror consciousness does not ask who is at fault. It asks what is being revealed. Instead of treating attraction as a moral test, it treats it as a diagnostic field. Certain dynamics activate unresolved material faster than others, and trans-attraction is one of those dynamics. That dynamic affects both trans women and trans-attracted people. It brings questions of worth, identity, and visibility to the surface, in both parties, with remarkable speed.

In that sense, trans-attraction is not uniquely broken. It is uniquely efficient.

Fetishization does exist, and when it occurs, it is real harm. However, not every painful interaction is the result of being reduced to an object. Some pain arises when someone sees a part of us we have not yet learned to hold ourselves. In those moments, discomfort does not come from being used, but from being mirrored.

This distinction matters because the two experiences require different responses. Objectification requires boundaries and exit. Mirror activation requires integration. When everything is labeled fetishization, the object in the mirror is never examined. Instead we project with blame. Meanwhile, the mirroring continues, only with new faces.

Daniel’s avoidance is not the source of the dynamic. It is the symptom of a fractured self-relationship. Until he can relate to his attraction without shame, his presence will feel unstable to others no matter how respectful his intentions. Elena’s vigilance is not the source of the dynamic either. It is the product of experience layered with anticipation and expectation. Until curiosity is allowed back into the encounter, discernment will quietly harden into certainty, negative expectation and, when what she expects shows up, blame.

Blame freezes both positions.

Blame Versus the Mirror

Blame feels protective because it offers clarity. It establishes who is responsible and who is harmed. What it does not do is allow movement, expansion and love. Once Daniel is fixed as a problem and Elena is fixed as a gatekeeper, nothing new can occur. Roles replace relationship. Prediction replaces discovery.

Mirror consciousness, on the other hand, introduces movement by returning causality inward without moralizing it. Instead of asking, “Who is doing this to me?” it asks, “What is this showing me about what is active in me right now?” That question does not deny harm. It changes where power lives. It also creates room for love. Love for ourselves and love for the other.

This shift cannot be achieved through insight alone. The few interested in going beyond repetitive patterns often understand mirror consciousness intellectually long before they trust it. But understanding does nothing here. What moves things forward is confirmation. When someone experiments with changing their internal relationship and observes that what shows up externally changes in response, the framework stops being theoretical.

Daniel notices this when he stops managing how he is perceived and begins relating honestly to his own desire. Without forcing conversations or seeking approval, he finds that interactions unfold differently. The urgency softens. The need to hide recedes. People respond to him with less suspicion because he is no longer suspicious of himself.

Elena notices this when she allows herself to stay present just a moment longer than habits born of pain dictate. Without abandoning discernment, she lets new information arrive. Some encounters end quickly, as they should. Others surprise her. The sameness breaks not because men have suddenly improved, but because her internal orientation shifted.

These changes are subtle. But they are unmistakable to the people experiencing them. People like my clients.

Real Change Through Relationships

This is why the idea of being “emotionally ready” before relationship is misleading. Readiness is not a prerequisite. It is an outcome. Every relationship we enter is one we are already prepared for, even if it challenges us. Relationships are not auditions for love. They are the environment in which love is nurtured, clarified, received and given.

From this perspective, there are no false starts. There are no wrong or bad relationships. There are only stages we move through so that we become more of what we are.

Self-preservation plays an important role here. Many trans women transition because the alternative – suicide – is unbearable. That is not always the case, of course. But for those others, the alternative to transitioning (remaining male-presenting) is an unbearable alternative. More unbearable than facing social repercussions associated with transitioning. So transitioning is more an act of self preservation than self love.

And while self-preservation stabilizes life; it does not automatically change attraction patterns. Self-love, in the deeper sense, alters momentum. It changes what feels familiar and what becomes available. I’m dubious that trans women transition as an act of self love therefore. If it were, transitioning as an act would bring with it new, loving reality experiences reflected in the mirror of life, especially in how the trans woman feels about their life. Such reality experiences don’t usually happen. At least not for trans women I encounter online, through my work and the work of others, like this person’s work.

Experimentation: the Way Out

The same is true for trans-attracted men. Avoidance may protect them temporarily, but it does not resolve the internal split that creates repetition in the mirror. Only integration does that.

Mirror consciousness is not a moral upgrade. It is not about becoming better people. It is about becoming more internally coherent. When coherence increases, the relational field reorganizes accordingly. Learning to tell better-feeling stories about everything in one’s life is the first step to gaining internal coherence.

This framework is not for everyone. It does not comfort anger. It does not validate “truth”. It does not provide villains. What it offers instead is authorship based in love. For those exhausted by repetition, that tradeoff becomes appealing.

When the mirror is seen, the pattern does not need to be fought. It dissolves on its own.

Trans-attraction will continue to be discussed, debated, and moralized. Those conversations have their place. For people ready to stop cycling through the same sucky relationship dynamics, or the dynamics comprising their life experience, a different lens is required. One that cannot be adopted through argument, but only through lived experimentation.

Understanding this intellectually changes nothing. Living it changes everything. If you’re ready to live it, I invite you to contact me.

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Enjoying Ass-Play Doesn’t Make You Gay

A man cheated on his wife. He came to me this week seeking help with his “trans-attraction.” The thing is—this guy isn’t trans-attracted. Sure, he’s in a powerful place of self-discovery. But he’s grasping for any definition that makes his desires okay. That’s because the definitions that come automatically to him are intolerable.

Those definitions tell him he’s gay. After all, any guy who likes taking it up the ass must be gay, right?

Never mind that all kinds of evidence—including the actual definition of gay—reveals that being gay has nothing to do with specific sexual acts. Gay means being “sexually or romantically attracted to members of one’s own sex.” Note: that definition has NOTHING to do with anal play.

In fact, many straight men enjoy anal stimulation. That’s why “pegging” is a thing. (Pegging, by the way, is when a WOMAN uses a strap-on to penetrate a man’s anus to provide him erotic pleasure.) So this man—let’s call him Romero—cheated on his wife because the dominant stories he held about his sexual proclivities told him he was gay.

And that’s also why he struggles with the label “trans-attracted.”

He Gave Her No Chance

Not being able to accept that he’s gay, Romero tried to find a better story: “I’m trans-attracted.” The problem is, he’s not. How do I know? Because he doesn’t find trans women attractive in a romantic sense. His brief experiences with trans escorts and prostitutes reveal the real reason he sought out such encounters: He wanted to take his ass-play to the next level—and didn’t think his wife would be okay with that.

In fact, he hadn’t told his wife—of over 20 years—about this important part of his sexuality. Why? For the same reason: shame and fear. That and a pile of inherited beliefs that negatively judged what he likes. Here’s the twist: when he did tell her, as part of admitting he cheated…She wasn’t bothered by the fact that he enjoys anal play. She was bothered that he didn’t give her a chance. A chance perhaps to be part of it. Maybe a chance to hear him. Perhaps a chance to respond before he decided to go outside the marriage.

Guys, some of you out there are on the down-low with trans women. But you’re not actually trans-attracted. I’ve met two men like this: Romero, and another I’ll call Cliff.

Let’s look briefly at Cliff’s story. I’ll share more about him in a future post.

Problem Marriages

Cliff loves his wife and has no real interest in trans women the way a truly trans-attracted man would. In other words, he doesn’t find them irresistible—as a step above cis women. Cliff falls somewhere between Romero’s experience and the experience of real trans-attracted men. A past sexual experience opened a curiosity in him—so now he’s exploring.

But he still wants to stay with his wife and kids. Because of this, I told him he’s likely on what I’d describe as a spectrum of trans-attraction. There’s a flicker of interest, but his love for his wife remains strong—and isn’t deeply threatened by his curiosity.

What matters most for both Cliff and Romero isn’t who they’re doing what with. It’s why they’re doing it. In both cases, like many marriages, there’s an opportunity for growth. A chance to explore deeper, richer experiences of what it means to love another. But fear, secrecy, and years of inauthentic relating have created a dynamic where authenticity doesn’t feel safe. That’s the problem.

It’s All About What You Believe

Romero, bless his heart—and Cliff—both believe they are something they’re not. And in the midst of that distortion, both damaged their marriages. But the wives aren’t off the hook.

This is a co-creation.

These women must look at how they’ve been being—especially around their husbands. They must unpack the beliefs inside their own belief constellations helping create both husbands who didn’t feel safe being who they really are and marriages that aren’t strong enough to handle each person’s expansion.

If you’re in a marriage where trans-attraction (or confusion around it) is present, talking with me could really help. Get in touch.

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Why Happiness Is Our World Changing Super Power

Photo by Ameer Basheer on Unsplash

TL;DR: The author argues for happiness as the one thing that will give people everything they want. They also describe the origins of All That Is as individual consciousness and encourage trans and trans-attracted people to discover this “truth”.

It seems crazy to say in this divided world we live in, especially when it comes to trans people, but the evidence is overwhelming: The happier we are, the better the world goes.

This is especially true for transgender and trans-attracted people. After all, we came into the world with world-changing intentions. That’s why we come in completely outside the “normal” box: because in our being we offer world transformation.

And when we align with happiness that is our natural state, then not only does our life go well shining like a beacon of how good life can be for others, the world gets bathed in that light as well. As a result, the world changes for the better.

But if we’re poopy about what we see in the world we come into, we just create more of that. Then we start believing all that we see is “true”. And then, we’re in trouble.

Because when we start trading in “true” we’ve lost our way. We came here to shape the future, not create more of what is; more of what is “true”.

We shape the future for ourselves, our friends and family and for the world around us through our happiness. Most people don’t realize that, especially trans and trans-attracted people. It’s why so many of us and other people are mostly unhappy. But when we remember who and what we are, life gets really good.

Let’s take a look today at both how and why happiness is our world-changing super power.

Let’s start with an accurate story

Imagine, if you would, that you have been in existence since the beginning of time. Way, way way back then, nothing existed; only you and potential. So out of that potential you created all that is. And in that bang, you watched things unfold.

As they unfolded, you saw things coming to be. You also saw things going out of being. As those things came and went, you knew there could be more. And so you created more. That “more” human science calls evolution. It’s not that, but whatever.

As more came into being, eventually more and more capable forms of more emerged. That included conscious life. And as that life expanded into more, you noticed something interesting; something invigorating: everything that came after what came before was better.

And those things that preceded the more, as they reemerged into the potential of All That Is, those things returned to their innate oneness of All That Is!

More, more, more…

The more this cycle continued, the more varied life got. And the more varied it got, the more complex things got. Despite all that complexity however, things always became more. And as all that “moreness” happened, you saw that it was all good, because no matter how things turned out, the things, as they turned out, either became more, or they reemerged into the potential of All That Is.

So imagine, now, here you are billions of human years later. All the things that have become more, all the things that have become and returned to potential, and all the things that have happened in that transformation of more becoming more, continues.

How would you feel about all of this happening over billions and billions of years? Would you be unhappy? Of course not. All you could see happening was becoming more, more complex more interesting…more a representative of what you are; an eternal being. And over those billions and billions of years as things worked out, you, yourself, would have become more too. And in that moreness, watching all that more happening, you would become more and more optimistic, more and more surprised.

You would become more and more delighted. And more and more eager. Your eagerness, delight, surprise and optimism would turn to appreciation for all that has come before. And that appreciation would express itself for all that has come and all that is yet to come.

Reveling in your trans/trans-attraction status

Then in your curiosity and joy, you’d want to become part of the moreness. You’d want to participate; see what it’s like in the “first person”. And so you’d put yourself into the process, becoming things, beings and elements that are making the more possible. In that experience, you’d experience terror, joy, pain, loss, happiness, triumph and more. And all the while as you moved in and out of those “first person” experiences, your appreciation would expand. It, those emotions, would become more too.

What do you think that process would evolve to, that emotional process of becoming more? Of course it would evolve into even more powerful emotions: love, being paramount.

That is what you are. You are pure love, experiencing for a brief time, a human experience. You as love energy are wanting to participate eternally in what you got started eons ago. And, as you participate, you want more. You want different experiences than those that came before. You want experiences that haven’t happened before. This is the more you crave.

So it makes sense, from this perspective that you’d come into the world as transgender or trans-attracted; two aspects you perhaps have never experienced before; as expressions of more.

Now, from that eternal perspective, would you be all poopy about being trans? Would you worry about friends or family disowning you or misgendering you? Of course not. Would you worry about people thinking you’re gay because you’re trans-attracted? Would YOU think you’re gay? Nope! You’d relish in your being. You’d be excited about your trans status. Everything you experience as a trans-attracted person would light your fire!

Happy while human

Well dear reader, what you’ve just read is what you are. But you’re only that when you, as the “first person” experiences their life in the same way that eternal being that is you experiences it. You have the option to not experience it that way, because you gave yourself free will. But when you don’t experience it that way, then you feel awful!

That awful feeling is on purpose because you want to feel your eternal knowing. You want to experience your eternal knowing because you know when you do that, you have access to something eminently powerful.

And that eminently powerful thing is that which you are. That’s right, you are the eminently powerful thing. And as that you can create any experience you want, because you’ve created everything else in your experience in your desire for more.

But accessing all the power you are requires you being that powerful thing. You do that by embracing your happiness. Happiness is our super power because when we embrace it and live in it, then we align ourselves with that full-blown powerful being that we are, yes, even while we’re experiencing human life.

So being happy while you’re a human is critical. It literally is the process by which all you want will come to you. This power is not magic though. Something important must be understood to enjoy the power you are. We’ll talk about that next.

Reaching for happiness allows all we want to happen.

It’s where “reality” comes from

Remember: we all come into the world having forgotten. Until we remember, we’re still using all that immense power to create. Everything surrounding us is our creation. That includes family members who refuse to acknowledge you as a woman as well as those who might be really angry if you come out as trans-attracted.

Where else do you think these people come from?

Situations are exactly the same. They reflect the confusion in you. Or they reflect the conflict within you. If you don’t want to be trans, but are, life will reflect that conflict back to you. You’ll attract experiences of people hating or rising up against trans people. Other things might happen too. You might lose your job or feel you must quit. You might even experience physical attacks or be ridiculed while using the women’s bathroom.

How else do you think you’re experiencing these things?

The problem with thinking they are separate from you and happening because there are people in the world who hate what you are is, when you think those thoughts, they run counter to what’s happening. What’s happening is you’re creating these experiences in order to clean up your distorted beliefs. The experiences are true! They are happening! But they don’t have to happen.

They will though and they’ll continue until you accept all that you are and feel appreciation for it.

Physical reality is a reflection of our inner state. (Photo by Chris Barbalis on Unsplash)

A powerful sentence

When you accept all that you are, you’re primed then to come in to appreciation of who you are. Not appreciation for being trans or trans-attracted, although that’s a great first step. I’m talking about appreciating you as cause in the matter; as the originator of all you experience.

It is in that appreciation that you step into your power. After all, the following sentence can be seen as positive or negative:

I create everything I experience!

Most people, especially trans women, see that as a negative sentence. They feel blame in it or that their situation is their fault because of it. That’s because they feel themselves as hapless victims subject to people making laws restricting their rights and freedoms.

People who know what I’m writing about see that sentence in an empowering way. They see the opportunity in it. They realize nothing can happen to them that they don’t create. Then they realize they can create anything they want. And that’s the power of knowing who and what we are as eternal beings.

It’s available right now

There’s no greater power than our happiness. But in order to experience happiness we must first clear out all that creation we’ve created from our disempowered perspective. The one that has us seeing that statement above as an indictment as opposed to the powerful realization it is.

So it takes a while to make permanent the state of happiness I’m writing about. The great thing is, the happiness can come immediately. At first it won’t hang around for long because of bogus beliefs we have cultivated for as long as we’ve been alive. But in time, as we soothe those old beliefs, the happiness hangs around longer and longer.

Then, as that happens, really wonderful life experiences start happening. As I’ve written above, life is a reflection. It reflects back to us, in the form of people, circumstances and events, our inner state. And if our inner state is mainly happy, then our life must reflect that.

And it will.

I write every week about how to cultivate that state of being. I also share examples of clients doing exactly what you’ve read, and producing evidence proving everything you’ve read to themselves. So you don’t have to just take my words for it. Evidence abounds proving what you’ve read is accurate.

So the question is, how long are you going to be unhappy, anxious, and insecure? I would suggest you stop right now. Stop and cultivate your super power: happiness.

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MORE Results That The World Is Better For Trans People

Bailey Anne Kennedy and her husband both at their wedding (Instagram)

TLDR: The author, who is transamorous, argues once again that the world is improving for transgender people and those who love them. They point to the Miss Maryland USA Pageant Coronation, which happened this month, as evidence supporting their argument. They then conclude by suggesting transgender lives will improve even more when trans people and those who love them adopt optimism and positivity.

The evidence is overwhelming, if you know where to look.

What evidence do I refer to? Evidence proving the world is getting better for transgender people. This time, evidence comes from the stage of a major US tradition: The Miss USA pageant.

Once again, a transgender woman competes in and wins a major pageant title. This time, it’s Maryland. Bailey Anne Kennedy, an Asian-American trans woman, walked down the stage and received her crown for becoming Miss Maryland 2024 this month. Her win represents a number of firsts.

According to news reports, this was her first pageant ever. It’s also the first time in the state that a trans woman won the title. It’s also the first time a woman over 28 won. Kennedy is 31. She’s also the first married woman to compete and win. Kennedy will next go on to compete in the Miss USA pageant in August.

What’s really astonishing about this wonderful milestone is it comes on the heels of another wonderful piece of news we shared back in August last year. Back then we shared news that a wealthy trans woman purchased several beauty pageants around the world. After taking ownership, she changed participant requirements in order to broaden the field of competitors. One of those pageants she owns is Miss USA.

So who is the new Miss Maryland USA? Let’s take a closer look.

Who is Bailey Anne Kennedy?

Kennedy is Cambodian American. She’s a military spouse, whose husband, according to her Instagram, is a Captain in the United States Marine Corps. He graduated both from tanker school and flight school, again, according to Kennedy’s Instagram. That’s two impressive accomplishments. It appears that Kennedy may work or volunteer at the USO as well, which may have been how she met her husband.

Kennedy, who is 31, broke several barriers in her pursuit of the Maryland title. First, her status as a trans woman, obviously. But that’s not a first. Well, it is for Maryland. But several trans women have won similar titles elsewhere.

She follows Marina Machete, who was the first trans woman to win the Miss Portugal title, Rikke Valerie Kolle, who won Miss Netherlands, Kataluna Enriquez became the first trans woman crowned Miss Nevada In 2021, and In 2018, a trans woman, Angela Ponce, competed for Spain in the Miss Universe pageant.

Why this is big

The reason this is big is because these competitions are judged by ordinary people from relevant industries.

Judges in 2022, for example, included Ashlee Clarke, an American businesswoman and producer, Soo Yeon Lee, a South Korean table tennis player and model, Kirk Myers an American fitness trainer, Olivia Ponton, an American model and social media influencer, Aaron Potts, an American fashion designer and Nicole Williams-English a Canadian fashion designer and model.

So trans women competing against and winning over cisgender women shows, to me anyway, growing acceptance that transgender women are women.

Additionally, a Miss USA title is just fluff. Winners travel the world as ambassadors. They promote charitable causes of their choosing. They also enjoy nearly unlimited opportunities as models and spokeswomen. All this means VISIBILITY. And visibility is a powerful social change agent.

So there’s a growing roster of trans women competing and winning in beauty pageants and those women are becoming more visible in the world. That’s a great thing.

Back to Kennedy

And even though trans women are making significant inroads here, Kennedy is more than that. As we said, she is the first woman to win a pageant title at her age (31) after pageant officials open the competition to anyone over 18. Before this change, only women under 28 could compete. Oh, she’s also married, which is another pageant first. That she’s married to an American military officer is another first.

Kennedy has high aspirations since winning. She wants to role model opportunity for other women and girls, trans women particularly, and advocate for veterans, which makes sense given that her husband is a Jarhead and she appears to work or volunteer for the USO.

Kennedy her husband and their dogs (Instagram)

It’s happening and it’s all good

At least one news report included in their coverage a rolling tally of the number of trans women still facing violence and discrimination. We’re not going to do that here at The Transamorous Network. Instead, we want to focus on all the awesome evidence proving the world is improving for trans people.

Yeah, there’s some fear and insecurity causing people to act out against these wonderful people. But that’s not the majority of people, as we reported earlier. And while there are lots of people focused on what needs improvement, we take a different approach.

We know the more we focus on the positive, the more positively the world looks to us. We encourage trans women and those who love them to do the same. Because when we all do, our lives get better. And honestly, we can’t help anyone when our life sucks.

So let’s focus on the positive and celebrate yet another awesome milestone. A milestone proving once again that the world is getting better for trans people.

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Why A Passable Trans Girl Might Not Make You Happy

Let’s face it: not every transgender woman is passable. But that needn’t pose problems for trans women or trans-attracted men. In fact, it can be the best thing ever for both parties, if both parties get over stories blocking the best relationship ever. At The Transamorous Network we show people how to get over those stories.

Tiffany sure gets it. She’s a Transamorous Network client and last week we concluded in a recent 1:1 session of hers that trans-attracted men and trans women both struggle over many common stories. Stories about trans-attracted men, masculinity, femininity, passing, topping and desires both transgender women and trans-attracted men share.

For example, it seems some trans-attracted men want what some trans women don’t want. Is that true? Or is there more to the story?

We enjoyed exploring those and many other answers. Sharing them might open some minds so we included takes in a shortened session video.

Trans-attracted men – lets get real

Take note my brothers. If you believe you can’t find a trans woman who will be with you, you’re right. Such beliefs keep you from getting what you want.

In other words, if you believe you can’t find a trans woman who will be with you, then what you want, and what you believe conflict. That conflict leaves you stuck in perpetual frustration.

The way out involves finding harmony between what you believe and what you want.

The trouble is, most trans-attracted men won’t reconcile what they want and what they believe. So they struggle…alone.

Bro, if you want that beautiful transgender woman, you gotta reconcile your resistance and your desire. There are plenty of trans women out there who will give you exactly what you want. Mainly because they enjoy it too.

Trans-attracted men don’t want what they want.

But if you think you’re going to find a super-passable trans woman, who also will top you with their penis…if they got one…good luck with that. We explain why in the video above.

Getting what you want is impossible if you’re looking for something that contradicts what you believe. Yet so many men do exactly that. They look for something in total contradiction with what they believe. Then complain when they can’t find what they want.

The trans woman you want is not going to be one waging chemical warfare on their testosterone. Not if you want her topping you. And most really passable trans women get that way by blocking hormones responsible for topping behavior.

The good news: you can get what you want in love and get it through a trans girl. But you must be willing to give up something: either your desire…or your belief.