Tag: trans attraction

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MORE Results That The World Is Better For Trans People

Bailey Anne Kennedy and her husband both at their wedding (Instagram)

TLDR: The author, who is transamorous, argues once again that the world is improving for transgender people and those who love them. They point to the Miss Maryland USA Pageant Coronation, which happened this month, as evidence supporting their argument. They then conclude by suggesting transgender lives will improve even more when trans people and those who love them adopt optimism and positivity.

The evidence is overwhelming, if you know where to look.

What evidence do I refer to? Evidence proving the world is getting better for transgender people. This time, evidence comes from the stage of a major US tradition: The Miss USA pageant.

Once again, a transgender woman competes in and wins a major pageant title. This time, it’s Maryland. Bailey Anne Kennedy, an Asian-American trans woman, walked down the stage and received her crown for becoming Miss Maryland 2024 this month. Her win represents a number of firsts.

According to news reports, this was her first pageant ever. It’s also the first time in the state that a trans woman won the title. It’s also the first time a woman over 28 won. Kennedy is 31. She’s also the first married woman to compete and win. Kennedy will next go on to compete in the Miss USA pageant in August.

What’s really astonishing about this wonderful milestone is it comes on the heels of another wonderful piece of news we shared back in August last year. Back then we shared news that a wealthy trans woman purchased several beauty pageants around the world. After taking ownership, she changed participant requirements in order to broaden the field of competitors. One of those pageants she owns is Miss USA.

So who is the new Miss Maryland USA? Let’s take a closer look.

Who is Bailey Anne Kennedy?

Kennedy is Cambodian American. She’s a military spouse, whose husband, according to her Instagram, is a Captain in the United States Marine Corps. He graduated both from tanker school and flight school, again, according to Kennedy’s Instagram. That’s two impressive accomplishments. It appears that Kennedy may work or volunteer at the USO as well, which may have been how she met her husband.

Kennedy, who is 31, broke several barriers in her pursuit of the Maryland title. First, her status as a trans woman, obviously. But that’s not a first. Well, it is for Maryland. But several trans women have won similar titles elsewhere.

She follows Marina Machete, who was the first trans woman to win the Miss Portugal title, Rikke Valerie Kolle, who won Miss Netherlands, Kataluna Enriquez became the first trans woman crowned Miss Nevada In 2021, and In 2018, a trans woman, Angela Ponce, competed for Spain in the Miss Universe pageant.

Why this is big

The reason this is big is because these competitions are judged by ordinary people from relevant industries.

Judges in 2022, for example, included Ashlee Clarke, an American businesswoman and producer, Soo Yeon Lee, a South Korean table tennis player and model, Kirk Myers an American fitness trainer, Olivia Ponton, an American model and social media influencer, Aaron Potts, an American fashion designer and Nicole Williams-English a Canadian fashion designer and model.

So trans women competing against and winning over cisgender women shows, to me anyway, growing acceptance that transgender women are women.

Additionally, a Miss USA title is just fluff. Winners travel the world as ambassadors. They promote charitable causes of their choosing. They also enjoy nearly unlimited opportunities as models and spokeswomen. All this means VISIBILITY. And visibility is a powerful social change agent.

So there’s a growing roster of trans women competing and winning in beauty pageants and those women are becoming more visible in the world. That’s a great thing.

Back to Kennedy

And even though trans women are making significant inroads here, Kennedy is more than that. As we said, she is the first woman to win a pageant title at her age (31) after pageant officials open the competition to anyone over 18. Before this change, only women under 28 could compete. Oh, she’s also married, which is another pageant first. That she’s married to an American military officer is another first.

Kennedy has high aspirations since winning. She wants to role model opportunity for other women and girls, trans women particularly, and advocate for veterans, which makes sense given that her husband is a Jarhead and she appears to work or volunteer for the USO.

Kennedy her husband and their dogs (Instagram)

It’s happening and it’s all good

At least one news report included in their coverage a rolling tally of the number of trans women still facing violence and discrimination. We’re not going to do that here at The Transamorous Network. Instead, we want to focus on all the awesome evidence proving the world is improving for trans people.

Yeah, there’s some fear and insecurity causing people to act out against these wonderful people. But that’s not the majority of people, as we reported earlier. And while there are lots of people focused on what needs improvement, we take a different approach.

We know the more we focus on the positive, the more positively the world looks to us. We encourage trans women and those who love them to do the same. Because when we all do, our lives get better. And honestly, we can’t help anyone when our life sucks.

So let’s focus on the positive and celebrate yet another awesome milestone. A milestone proving once again that the world is getting better for trans people.

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Why A Passable Trans Girl Might Not Make You Happy

Let’s face it: not every transgender woman is passable. But that needn’t pose problems for trans women or trans-attracted men. In fact, it can be the best thing ever for both parties, if both parties get over stories blocking the best relationship ever. At The Transamorous Network we show people how to get over those stories.

Tiffany sure gets it. She’s a Transamorous Network client and last week we concluded in a recent 1:1 session of hers that trans-attracted men and trans women both struggle over many common stories. Stories about trans-attracted men, masculinity, femininity, passing, topping and desires both transgender women and trans-attracted men share.

For example, it seems some trans-attracted men want what some trans women don’t want. Is that true? Or is there more to the story?

We enjoyed exploring those and many other answers. Sharing them might open some minds so we included takes in a shortened session video.

Trans-attracted men – lets get real

Take note my brothers. If you believe you can’t find a trans woman who will be with you, you’re right. Such beliefs keep you from getting what you want.

In other words, if you believe you can’t find a trans woman who will be with you, then what you want, and what you believe conflict. That conflict leaves you stuck in perpetual frustration.

The way out involves finding harmony between what you believe and what you want.

The trouble is, most trans-attracted men won’t reconcile what they want and what they believe. So they struggle…alone.

Bro, if you want that beautiful transgender woman, you gotta reconcile your resistance and your desire. There are plenty of trans women out there who will give you exactly what you want. Mainly because they enjoy it too.

Trans-attracted men don’t want what they want.

But if you think you’re going to find a super-passable trans woman, who also will top you with their penis…if they got one…good luck with that. We explain why in the video above.

Getting what you want is impossible if you’re looking for something that contradicts what you believe. Yet so many men do exactly that. They look for something in total contradiction with what they believe. Then complain when they can’t find what they want.

The trans woman you want is not going to be one waging chemical warfare on their testosterone. Not if you want her topping you. And most really passable trans women get that way by blocking hormones responsible for topping behavior.

The good news: you can get what you want in love and get it through a trans girl. But you must be willing to give up something: either your desire…or your belief.

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Transgender Diversity Dominates

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Fascination grows in me the more I work with trans and trans-attracted people. There’s no such thing as homogeneity anywhere. That includes trans and trans-attracted populations.

Not all transgender women, for example, believe an “inner female is struggling to get out” of me. I get how a trans person might feel that way. What I’m seeing though tells me that statement says more about how the speaker sees the world than it describes what’s happening.

I’m realizing there is no “male” or “female”. There’s just what is. I wonder if, when a trans woman says something like “I feel like a woman”, what that really is is a statement approximating what they feel, compared to what they see. They see people they resonate with, who appear “female”, so they conclude that’s what they are.

Transgender dissonance

I attended a discussion group at my local Q center. Some transgender attendees confided their bafflement over how out-of-place they felt in their transitioned gender. Both transgender men AND trans women in this group described how different cis-men and women were from them.

The speakers found it difficult relating to dynamics within and among these groups, indicating perhaps that the speakers were not “male” or “female” as they thought they were, but instead were something different. Something more.

Three experiences, two with clients and another with someone I spoke on the phone yesterday adds more complexity.

My first client enjoys creating a future in which he expresses a wonderful gender blend. He relishes expressing combinations representing traditional “male” and “female” social markers: breasts, a peak-toned, muscular, yet slender physique, hairless scalp, eyeliner, and a delicate frilly blouse and skirt. He will pull it off too. He looks good. This client rejects the idea of “a woman trapped in a man’s body” he hears so much among transgender women he hangs with. He feels being trans is more than that.

I agree.

The other client clearly expresses feminine traits, yet she rejects her developing breasts. In her best moments, she relishes her expression somewhere between “male” and “female” too. She’s impatient to have her Adam’s apple reduced, but likes other features marking her as “male”. Her authenticity conflicts with her dating stories: she believes most men look for “women”. They’re not interested, she believes, in someone somewhere in the middle of the spectrum.

I totally disagree, of course. Matches exist for every expression.

so, upheld how diverse “transgender” really is. He knows himself as trans, yet doesn’t dress en femme as much as he wears “men’s” clothes. He is calm with where he is. Not a single transitionary step piqued his interest yet. And while he enjoys attention and conversation with trans-attracted men, he doesn’t enjoy anal sex. That’s quite a perspective.

More are on the way

An intuitive hit tells me our age now allows all kinds of expressions, especially when it comes to presenting gender and orientation, but not only that. Social churn we’re seeing today I believe stems from humanity growing through greater clarity. It knows there’s more to what we as humans allowed in the past. More diversity, not less, is on the way. In that, there’s not only no binary, there’s no right way.

I think about the person I talked with on the phone. I thought how he will meet men who will find attractive his desire to present sometimes as male, sometimes as a woman. A match exists for everyone.

That conversation prompted this post. He said, it’s hard finding people to befriend, even though he lives in Los Angeles, a Mecca of sorts for LGBT people. He said he feels uncomfortable and alone because he doesn’t see anyone like him: people who share his perspective, his unique expression focus.

Trans is a leading edge

Perhaps that’s because he’s here to lead the way? What if by virtue of living his authentic life, he made space for others to do the same?

Maybe the one reason this guy sees no examples of who he feels he is is because society is only just now opening its eyes to humanity’s authentic expression: it’s never been about “male” and “female”.

So while a lot of people rail over and push against society about how “trans women are WOMEN”, that doesn’t even begin to tell the whole story.

Trans people are divine, eternal beings. Like all people, they can’t be put in ANY kind of box.

Let them be free. If you’re trans or trans-attracted free yourself. “Gay or straight” is a box. “Trans women are women” is a box. No matter how comfortable one may feel it.

Free yourself and watch how great diversity that is you shines, and in that shining you’ll shape humanity to more truly reflect All That Is. Doing that you’ll not only find freedom, you’ll find joy too.