Where does transgender come from?

Born this way but whyLet’s presume you’re a transperson, trans attracted person or a sympathizer or ‘ally’. Why on earth would you willingly choose to be born as something seen by the mainstream as such an affront that the chances of you being killed (in the case of a trans person) or at least ridiculed (in the other cases)?

Lady Gaga says we are all “born this way.”  Ok, but why?

Why were so many people born black in the slavery days, jews during the holocaust, or residents of Hiroshima or Nagasaki on those fateful days in WWII? How about the people born to live in Syria or Iraq? Why would someone be “born this way” only to become a murder victim?

Is it all random?


I don’t think so. And I don’t think science is going to be much help.

Science admittedly doesn’t know the answer to the question “where does transgender come from?” Hell, they’re still trying to figure out how “boys” and “girls” happen. And so long as it denies existence of a condition requiring no-time and no-space, I don’t think it’s gonna find it.

I believe “transgender” comes from the same place “transamorous” comes from: That no-time and no-space state we all come from. Religion calls this state “heaven”. I have had a long-running beef with this concept, but now I can see why religion calls it that (in various permutations). It is, indeed, a state of pure positivity, where all things are known and possible and All Things are eternal. But it’s not a white robes and harps kind of place.

How do I know? I’ll get to that.

Words come with so much baggage, it’s challenging to talk about our origins.  “Heaven” comes with so much baggage, it makes understanding where transgender and transamorous originate a sticky topic. Especially when, supposedly, the “boss” in heaven, according to some people, abhors what transpeople are.

So I prefer a less-loaded phrase such as “Infinite Intelligence”, “All That Is”, or “Source” to describe our origins. These words tend to come with less past meaning.

What if there were very good reasons for why people come into the world and face such seeming horrendous experiences. What if there were very good reasons why you came into the world as transgender or transamorous? That’s what I’m going to explore over the next series of short, pithy posts.


Stay tuned.


Get. Over. It. 

Nat Geo picThose angry about increasing visibility of transgender people need to “get over it.”

Those aren’t my words. Although I agree with them. They are Robin Hammond’s Words. Who’s Robin Hammond? He’s the guy who took the National Geographic cover photo of transgender girl Avery Jackson. Though the issue hasn’t been published yet, National Geographic is being both hailed and hated for it.

It’s just another step in the eventual full embrace of transgender people worldwide.

I’ve seen a lot of responses to this photo. Which is beautiful by the way. Avery’s quote is so perfect. Since we  focus on positive aspects the Transamorous Network, I’m not going to recount negative comments people and organizations have made about it. Instead, I’m going to quote Hammond’s reaction to them, which I think is gold:

“[Some people are] likely scared of change,” He said.  “They saw a world where [being trans] didn’t exist and now they see it as a new thing. It’s sad for them because it leaves them closed off to people who are different to them.”

“The best thing about being a girl is now I don’t have to pretend to be a boy.”

– Avery Jackson

If you’re interested in reading more about Hammond and his remarks, you can read this article. Here’s National Geographic’s explanation for their exceptional cover.

These dads love their transgender children

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We have a great time talking about this video (https://youtu.be/rl7RLbt_OOE) where dads of transgender children gush about their support of their kids. Awww. Can it get any better?

According to the video producer Human Rights Campaign “Countless parents of transgender and gender-expansive youth are pledging to make the world safer for their children. HRC is proud to release a video highlighting some of the spectacular dads who are standing up and speaking out in support of their trans kids.” We think it’s an awesome development and as we see more men supporting their trans children, you can bet you’ll see more men (like you perhaps?) interested in having romantic relationships with transwomen coming out too! It’s just one more bit of evidence that the world is becoming a better and better place for transwomen and the men who love them.

Men: Your attraction is normal

Blog 1 photo(Warning: There may be triggering words in this post for some people)

So I’m sitting here thinking about all the directions I can take this blog. Yesterday, out with my wife, I was thinking about it too. Seems to me the area that may be best is focusing on facilitating positive relationships between transpeople and cis-people, primarily cis-men and transwomen, but including other combinations.

I’m liking that approach. As a cis-guy who has had extensive experience dating transwomen, I have a thing or two to share with transamorous men that I learned listening to these women bitch about us. And, I have some ideas on how men like me can easily and quickly find happiness – joy even – in our search for the perfect transgender partner.

I also know from sharing my thoughts with transgender people I know that what I have to offer can also HUGELY benefit transwomen. One transwoman who reviewed what I will be offering on this site said she benefitted tremendously from reading it. Her life has transformed. Great things are happening for her all the time now. I’ll write more about that later.

I intend The Transamorous Network to offer something for families with transgender members in them and transgender women and men as well. I consider this my contribution to the community. You may not agree with my feeling on this, but the transcommunity, broadly speaking, includes people who aren’t trans.

I can’t provide everything to everyone immediately. I gotta start somewhere. Sooner than later though, I’ll include information for more than just guys who are romantically attracted to transwomen, and transwomen who know guys like that.

For now, I’m just glad to have gotten this thing started. I’ll continue to ponder the approach for this blog and for the Network. And I’ll encourage all of you who are visiting early on to come back as I chart this journey.