Tag: something extra

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A transamorous man tells his story

Version 2When a future podcast guest sent me this story, I felt honored to know him. I want to share it with you verbatim because I think it shows there are really sincere, honest men out there who want you (transwomen) as their partner. I changed his name to protect his privacy at his request. Enjoy…

I’m Steve, I live in Spokane, Washington. I’m 43 years old and have been an Asian Fusion chef for the better of 18 years. My passion is surfing, cooking and hiking. I’m also huge in to foraging for edible mushrooms like Morels.

I have dated genetic girls in my teens up until i was around 25 when I was living in Fresno, CA. I met this Asian girl and we exchanged numbers. I took her out half a dozen times before even kissing her. I’m a hopeless romantic.

Things started to get serious and I was happy to be in a committed relationship. One night we decided to take a cab out to a few clubs where the night turned in to a drunken stupor. Hitting up 3 clubs total and after a dozen or so shots we took the cab back to her place.

The next morning, I awoke with the worst hangover ever. While walking to the bathroom, I glanced over at her on the bed and noticed she had some extra body parts that I didn’t know about.

I panicked, grabbed my clothes and out the door I went. Called a friend to pick me up and take me home. This was a lot to fathom for me because I have never considered myself gay, bi, whatever.

My phone rang off the hook for the next 3 days. Missed calls, voice mails, etc. When I finally got tired of the phone ringing, I picked up. She tried to explain to me how she was gonna tell me but was afraid I wouldn’t like her anymore. I was beyond angry yet listened to her plea. We decided to meet up a week later. I told her I had a lot to think about before sitting down with her.

The entire week I kept asking myself things like “am I happy when we are together?”  “Does she make me laugh?”  “doesn’t it feel right?” My answer to myself on all of those questions were yes. The hardest part is how I was raised. I was raised my a single mother who is Mormon. I went to Sunday school, and everything. I was always taught that 2 men together was a sin and all. I didn’t think of Victoria (a good name to use) as a man, In my eyes, I saw her as a woman.

So the day came and I went to a waffle house to meet her. When I walked in, she was there with 2 of her cousins. She thought I was gonna hurt her. I explained to her cousins and they left.

Long story short, I told her that I loved her for her, who she was inside and out. We were together for around 3 and a half years, we parted mutually.

Throughout the remainder of the next few years, I stayed single. When I moved back to Hawaii, I was sitting at the beach after surfing and this beautiful Hawaiian girl winked at me from afar. Again, long story short, she is my current girlfriend now. We had a very rough relationship. Broke up over a dozen times. But now that we got past our drama, we still remain together. We talk on the phone nightly as she is still in Hawaii. I’m either gonna move home or she is gonna move here. We have been together now for about 7 years and are planning to get married. There’s much more happiness to come.

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Why your transamory equals your joy

You'll find joy when you own your transamoryJoy is a lovely thing. It is indescribable. You really gotta feel it yourself. It’s right up there with empowerment, passion and invincibility (a real emotion). All these are contained within joy.

Joy reaches deep into the soul. It not only balances imbalances, it frees us to experience all that life has to offer. When reality starts to shift in response to that feeling…boy, you become unstoppable. The more your dreams come true, the more you want to live in more joy.

Your joy is directly connected to your love of transwomen. You came into the world with this desire fully baked in you. It doesn’t matter if you’re only just figuring it out at age 40 or 50, it was there all along. To the degree you try to hide from that desire, you’re choking off the potential of feeling fully this enormously intense, influential and satisfying emotion.

You came into physical reality to live a life of FREEDOM and JOY. It’s time you realize this. When you’re finally living out loud with your transgender partner by your side, holding hands and not caring what others think about you, you will be on the road to creating a new life, a new reality, one that will far exceed what you have right now.

How do I know this? While I’ve yet to meet my ideal partner, so many things are going well I know I’m on my path. In the meantime, I’m literally – literally – surrounded by attractive transwomen. This isn’t to compare my life with yours. What’s important for you is to look at your life. How’s it working out?

There’s no longer a reason to stay in hiding. Humanity is increasingly accepting the fact that transpeople are real and are here to stay. The time is now bro, to come out into the light. You have everything to gain. Nothing to lose.

Want to know more? We gotta talk then.

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Why Triggers words trigger

Trigger WordsThere is nothing in your life more important than allowing your joy to flow. When you are connected with that flowing positive emotion, you not only feel better, your entire life literally shifts to align with that positive feeling.  Don’t believe what you’re reading. Try it in your life and see for yourself. Use our Guides to assist. You’ll soon see how miraculous living your life this way is. While it’s not easy at first, consistently living from that place, the more you can, the better your life gets. The better your life gets, the closer you come to realizing your dreams, including your ideal partner. As more of your life goes the way that pleases you, it gets easier as proof is powerful reinforcement.

Whether you’re a transamorous man, or a transperson, your joy is your access to all you desire. Including freeing yourself from being triggered by anything or anyone.

Now, we talk a lot about knee-jerk reactions in our Guides. Most people’s knee-jerk reactions create their reality.  They don’t know what is happening, nor do they have the information you’re reading, so they don’t know where their future comes from. In a knee-jerk reaction, a person experiences an event and the event (based on past experience) triggers an emotional response. In knee-jerk reactions, the human being is literally asleep at the switch: they have given up their choose-ability, allowing their life experience to run on a kind of automatic pilot.

Most people live most of their life moments in this mode, instead of a consciously-creative mode, where they are consciously creating their future aligned with what they want and as a result living lives happily ever after.

The more intense the emotional reaction, the more oomph is infused into the creation process whether the triggered emotion is positive or negative. It’s easier for positive emotions to bring positive results than it is for negative ones to bring negative results because the universe is pre-disposed for creating positive outcomes. That said, even if you’re not wanting whatever is happening, if you’re focused on it, and having a negative emotional response to it, you’re infusing your future with more of that thing you don’t want.  The more times you focus on that thing, the more “regular” the knee-jerk pattern becomes, to the point it becomes automatic: You have an experience that reminds you of the past. Instantly, you’re having an emotional reaction and that experience determines your future. Over the course of many experiences, the past becomes irrelevant: you just have emotional reactions to events which appear (even in the slightest) familiar.

Whether you’re a transamorous man, or a transperson, your joy is your access to all you desire. Including freeing yourself from being triggered by anything or anyone.

Trigger words are an external “event” which you have created through your unconscious living as a way to make you conscious again and as a result find more joy and empowerment.  How’s that for a new way of seeing things?  The purpose of trigger words is to let you know something needs attention. You put them in your life. When someone clocks you, and you feel ashamed, exposed, angry or humiliated, those strong emotions are an indicator that you have unfinished business regarding how you think and feel about who and what you are. The person who utters the trigger word is your ally in the process. When you are unconscious, you don’t realize this.

Someone calling you “sir”, calling you a man or using the wrong gender pronouns is a huge opportunity you have put along your path. Used as the positive experience you meant them to be, they become springboards to greater empowerment, freedom and joy. When you react with intense negative emotion, however, you squander the opportunity…for now. For if you do react negatively, instantly, a new opportunity is “put” in your “future”. So you can have another go at it. The great thing about trigger words and the seemingly endless stream of such events “apparent” in your future is, sooner or later, you’re going to figure it out that these events are meant to empower you, not disempower you.

You create your reality.

If you’re a transamorous man trying to find a transwoman, triggers can look different. They serve the same function though. If you’re living your life in secret, afraid of what people might say if you’re found out, that fear, shame and self-reproach are triggered responses to the life you’re living. In your case, the trigger word is really a trigger life: a life lived in secret.  Your emotional response to that secret life is a clue you’ve put into your reality. Shame, fear, self-reproach are indicators saying, “there’s something you need to address, the addressing of which will increase your freedom and joy.” Literally.  For the moment you stop allowing your external reality to dictate how you live and feel, you become more free to be who you are.  And in that greater freedom, you will encounter all manner of transwomen as there will be no discord between what you are and what you want and what the universe is showing you.  In the meantime, your negative emotions: shame, embarrassment, self-reproach, are creating a reality wherein you’re invisible to the transwomen who are looking for guys like you. This is one of the many reasons why it seems to you that quality transwomen are hard to find. They are hard to find when you’re not allowing the universe to put you in places where they are because you’re resisting your desire with all these negative emotions and creating future realities where you’re alone with your natural desire and your shame for having that desire.

Living from a joyful place ultimately means caring so much about how you feel that you’re not willing to allow knee-jerk reactions to happen.  Being able to live from a joyful place first requires that you understand that you are creating your reality ongoingly. Then it takes some practice. It’s not easy, but you can live a life where you’re no longer being triggered by something that happens to you, particularly what another person does or what another person says. When you’re living your life from that place, oh how beautiful life becomes…

If your life is not all you want it to be, come to peace with where you’re at. If you’re triggered because your mom continues to call you her son, or if you’re in a constantly triggered state of shame, fearful someone might call you fag because you want to be with a transwoman, that is where you’re at. You have to start where you’re at. Trying too hard to be where you’re not only creates more resistance. Instead, start by observing what happens when you’re triggered. Stop talking to your friends about the last time someone clocked you. Stop listening to others talk about their similar negative experiences. Soften your reactions and discover the infinite alternative ways you can respond to these beneficial, purposely-intended events. That is your access to the joyful life experience you intended when you chose to come here.