Being An Empath: A Good thing? Think Again.

Photo by Hello I’m Nik on Unsplash

Someone wrote me recently asking if being an “empath” is real. They wondered how Law of Attraction works for empaths since no one, this person claims, can “absorb another’s feelings.”

It’s a good question. The question sits right among other questions people don’t want answers to because the answers, while accurate, confront commonly-accepted explanations about life and how it works. Especially for transgender and trans-attracted people.

I get a lot of resistance from some transgender women who think they know how reality works. Especially how it works around being trans, or getting a relationship. When I share how it really works, they’ll fire back. Doing so, they double down on their indoctrination. Even while what I offer could dramatically improve their lives.

Society accepts people calling themselves empaths. It’s funny how society accepts empaths, but finds accepting “transgender” hard. I know this is changing, but being “empath” as a concept is far more accepted than being trans. And let’s not even consider being trans-attracted.

Lots of articles online describe characteristics of being an empath. Such articles also offer advice about being one. They suggest ways of negotiating struggles empaths have, and how to become an empath if you’re not.

For the record, I would NEVER recommend someone become an empath. Especially trans-attracted or transgender people. Nor would I recommend anyone claim that word to describe themselves if they think they are one. Here’s why.

“Empath”: a slur hardly anyone knows about

A lot of empaths get bunged up when someone claims being an “empath” isn’t real. I had a business relationship turn sour when I told the person I considered doing business with that such a thing wasn’t real.

I didn’t know back then what I know now.

We say at The Transamorous Network “stories create reality”. That means anything someone wants will become their reality if they consistently tell positive stories about it. We’re in good company dispensing such advice.

Law of Attraction says hold a belief long enough, and it will become “true”. Seth confirms this in their writings too. Their book “The Magical Approach” lays out exactly how Law of Attraction works although they don’t call it that.

The dictionary definition based on a science perspective. Not the best perspective when considering things outside of science’s purview.

So let’s take a gander at what’s happening with “empaths”. Are they real or not? How does Law of Attraction work for them and why would I recommend no one call themselves an empath? Especially trans-attracted or transgender people?

Looking at what it is

The definition I pasted above comes from mainstream culture. Its underlying message is the ability to “apprehend” the mental and emotional state of another is “paranormal”. That means beyond the scope of normal scientific understanding.

In other words, science will not be helpful here. Same holds true with Law of Attraction. People saying Law of Attraction is false will argue no scientific evidence exists supporting its veracity.

And the definition of the word used to describe empathic abilities.

Well, Law of Attraction is PARANORMAL. That means it is “beyond the scope of science” and therefore out of science’s reach or purview. So science has no say in the matter because Law of Attraction is out of its scope.

Now, an empath is someone who can perceive and understand what another feels or thinks. The key distinction between perception such as this, which we all have, and an empath, is that an empath perceives and understands what another feels or thinks as though what another feels or thinks are the empath’s thoughts and feelings.

Is that actually happening?


We all are one

On the one hand, at a level beneath ordinary conscious awareness, we all are one. At the deepest level of our being, all of us share the same Source. It exists beyond the unconscious mind, as illustrated below. That 4th stage, far right, called Turiya in Yoga Theory, is that state of being.

A masterful diagram of human consciousness derived from “yogic science”. “A” represents waking consciousness, functioning through the body, the senses and our intellect/mind. “U” represents that part of the conscious we have active access to, which informs how we use section “A”. “M” represents that part of the consciousness which creates consistent behavior patterns in A and U. It is accessible through disciplined practices such as Positively Focused and what we offer at The Transamorous Network. “4th” represents the eternal, indestructible essence of what we all are, called Turiya in Yoga Theory.

So connections exist between us all, which, in theory, would have us able to perceive another’s mental or emotional state. This connection is accessible, but only with a lot of practice.

Do empaths experience others’ experiences –  thoughts, feelings, etc. – as their own? Or is something else happening?

We all are one. And our feelings tell us something really important. Empaths miss this totally. (Photo by Brock Wegner on Unsplash)

Vibratory receptivity

Law of Attraction says everything has a basis in vibration. And, “that which is liken unto itself is drawn”. Remember that quote.

We live in a vibrational environment, which our senses (see the left side of the yoga diagram above) interpret into objects and space. “Everything” includes us humans. We, therefore, are vibrational energy beings. Our bodies we create as a way to expand into more and better. We do that via this “reality” which we also create. I wrote extensively about why and how that is on Quora in case you’re interested.

Since we’re all one at the basis of what we are, and since we all are also vibration, it’s absolutely true each of us can harmonize with another’s vibration, or be open to grok another’s vibration such that we perceive the vibratory content of that person.

That’s part of what’s happening with “empaths”.

Sloppy vibrational focus creates “empathic abilities

But there’s a dark side to what’s happening with people claiming “empathic abilities”. This aspect needn’t happen and, frankly, shouldn’t. It happening gives rise to all problems empaths experience. It also kiboshes any chance of an empath experiencing the Charmed Life I write about.

In a nutshell, an empath experiences what they experience because they are sloppy in their vibrational focus. Empaths suffer from their “empathic abilities” because of this. I put “empathic abilities” in quotes because it’s not really an “ability”.

Rather, it’s a failure on the part of the “empath” to deliberately apply creative vibrational focus. Instead of doing that, they allow themselves to harmonize with what they’re observing. In other words, as the Law of Attraction says, they become liken unto that which they observe, then get drawn into it (they become it).

Then the empath thinks they are doing something special. But they’re not doing something special. They’re doing something sloppily.

Empaths allow their vibration to tune to that of another person. When they do that, they experience what the other experiences, but it’s their version of it, not what the person experiences.

That’s why I call “empath” a slur. Instead of describing something desirable, “empath” describes a state where one allows another’s vibration or something they’re observing to downwardly influence their own vibration. An empath is an affliction that’s self-inflicted.

Struggles empaths experience are self-inflicted. (Photo by Molnár Bálint on Unsplash)

Charmed Life or self-inflicted struggle?

Many “empaths” feel overwhelmed by their surroundings. Again, this is because they’re not focusing their vibration deliberately. Instead, they just “let it all in” the good, the bad and the ugly.

Not just that, they go even farther. They also let their vibration merge or come into harmonic alignment with that which they’re allowing in. In this way, the environment they’re in vibrationally dominates them.

But they could tune, and then hold their vibration and dominate the environment thereby creating something better than what was there before.

If they did the latter, they wouldn’t experience “empathic abilities”, they’d experience the Charmed Life. That’s because when a person’s vibration dominates their environment, and their vibration is high, that environment MUST reflect back to the person their dominant, high vibration.

Abraham putting it plain. Empaths get created when people let their thinking get sloppy. Negative experiences they have are trying to tell them to knock off their sloppy vibrational management.

I could be an empath, but would NEVER use that term

In 1:1 sessions with clients I create a deliberate, vibratory “bubble”. There, I dominate the experience with my very high vibration. That’s why clients always exclaim how much better they feel after their sessions. They also come to greater insights about their lives, because my focus brings them up to a high vibrational state from which they perceive life differently.

Here’s a trans-attracted man acknowledging results he got, and his appreciation, after just two sessions. Before joining me in my “bubble”, he was on the verge of suicide because of his stories about his trans-attraction.

Having practiced this practice for over 15 years now, it’s very easy for me to perceive what another person feels. Sometimes I can tell what they’re thinking too. That’s because, I’ve cultivated the ability to perceive at the vibrational (Source) level, and allow that perception into mine. This skill heightens significantly in the bubble.

NEVER allow a client’s vibration to effect mine though. Never. Ever. Doing so would not serve the client. And, it would be exactly what Abraham says not to do: allow what you observe to effect your vibration.

So to me, being an “empath” is real. But being one isn’t a gift or something someone wants to be, unless they don’t understand what being an empath is about. It’s just a person who is somewhat vibrationally attuned, being sloppy with their vibration.

I prefer being a vibrational snob. Doing so has served me well. In this brief video, Abraham describes why everyone should strive for vibrational snobbiness.

A vibrational snob is something you really want to be. Not an empath.

Why being trans or trans-attracted and an empath sucks

Law of Attraction works for everyone. Even those who believe it doesn’t work. As shown in the text message above, trans-attraction can be a heavy burden. So can being transgender.

Such people usually know nothing about “stories create reality”. So they entertain and amplify all kinds of thoughts/beliefs/stories. Then they “suffer” and experience “pain”. Eventually those stories create a reality matching them. Then the person thinks their beliefs/stories are “true”. True as in “objectively real”.

Someone who is trans-attracted or transgender AND suffering from “empathic abilities” doubles or trebles their troubles. Not only are they at the mercy of their thoughts. They’re also victims of the onslaught of others’ stories and beliefs.

It’s one thing to feel shitty about yourself or a part of yourself (such as your penis). It’s another thing when someone confirms those shitty feelings by misgendering you. And when you take on that vibration as yours you amplify your self loathing.

Same for a trans-attracted person who already feels shame triggered by bogus stories. When they hear someone talk derisively about transgender people, or about “faggots”, such people internalize those stories as their own. Such a person with “empathic abilities” amplifies those internalized opinions/stories. In doing so they amplify their own suffering.

Before long such people end up living physical examples of these super negative thoughts. Self-loathing, dread, fear, insecurity lack of control and more create experiences matching those emotions. No wonder my client wanted to kill himself!

Make it different: be deliberate

But, trans and trans-attracted people come into the world with a great ability. If they deliberately manage stories they tell, they can productively use their ability. The Star Trek The Next Generation Deanna Troy, a supposed “empath”, offers an example of what such people can be. She is stoic, aware and clear about distinguishing what she’s feeling and what SHE HERSELF FEELS. That’s a powerful distinction from most empaths I know.

In my experience, people who claim that title, tend to live lives of struggle, especially socially. Again, this is their doing. It is a product of sloppy vibrational tuning. Tuning amplified by their focus on the sloppiness.

Being an “empath” is a thing. But it’s not a thing I would claim. Instead, I prefer vibrational mastery. That’s what I show my clients how to attain. Then we get to enjoy our Charmed Lives. Where everything we want happens including love shared with a perfect match.