Transgender - The Transamorous Network

October 14, 2025October 6, 2025

How Two Trans Women Reflected My Old And New Life

TL;DR: The author reflects on two contrasting interactions with trans women—one critical, one affirming—as divine guidance. The post explores how vibrational alignment shapes experience and how all feedback is a mirror.

Recently, I had two experiences unfold within days of each other — one critical, one deeply affirming. On the surface, they couldn’t have been more opposite. But viewed through the lens of “Your stories create your reality”, they were identical in purpose. They both came to show me something.

One was a correspondence with a transgender woman—let’s call her Janet—who found my work on The Transamorous Network off-putting. The other was a heartfelt 1:1 consultation with a different transgender woman—let’s call her Nancy—who reached out after reading 20+ blog posts and loving the material. Nancy is a scientist, nearly finished with medical school, and also steeped in clinical psychology. And yet, what she said after our session struck me the most: “Yes: I want to work with you.”

Let’s rewind to what led up to that moment.

Janet’s comments: Resistance in Disguise

When Janet first reached out, she let me know right away she didn’t like what I was writing about. She disagreed with the term “transamorous.” She challenged the need to even distinguish between attraction to cis women and attraction to trans women. In her view, labeling that difference was, at best, redundant—and at worst, invalidating to trans identities.

I get it.

Many trans women carry deep scars from rejection, invalidation, and dismissal — particularly from men. So when someone like me comes along and dares to suggest that trans-attraction is its own unique phenomenon — not fetish, not confusion, but something spiritually profound — it can bring up all kinds of discomfort, what I call a Belief Confrontation.

But discomfort doesn’t mean I’m wrong. It means I’m touching something real. So I responded to Janet with clarity, not defensiveness. I explained:

That trans-attracted men often go through years—decades, even—of pain, confusion, and self-hatred.
Many of them love trans women, and yet, their love is hard to express inside a culture that insists on binaries.
Transamory is not a rejection of trans womanhood. It’s an embrace of it. A spiritual calling that draws a man toward a woman whose path, like the man’s path, includes a powerful transformation.

But what I most wanted her to know was this: You don’t need to agree with my work. My work is not about convincing. It’s about aligning. It’s here for those who resonate — because they’re ready to love and be loved in a new way.

And then — just a few days later — Nancy showed up.

Nancy’s Arrival: Alignment Echoes Loudly

Nancy is in the middle of her transition and is contemplating gender confirmation surgery. But she reached out to me because she sensed something about that desire didn’t feel entirely clear, among other things, including the kinds of men she had been meeting. She wondered if her experiences were coming from positive stories or unhelpful ones.

So she set up a 1:1.

We spoke far longer than the usual 30-minute free session. Why? Because we both felt resonance. Here was a woman steeped in science—medicine, psychology—and yet, she wasn’t looking for a therapist. She was looking for resonance; a deeper knowing. Something that went beyond textbooks, data sets and science.

She’s going to find it in this practice.

I didn’t tell her what to do about surgery. That’s not my job. What I offered instead was a reflection of her own knowing. I helped her sense whether her momentum was aligned or reactive. And in that space, something clicked. That’s why she wanted to become a client.

And that’s when it hit me: Janet and Nancy weren’t opposites. They were a coinciding. They arrived within the same week, orbiting the same subject—me and my work—offering radically different reflections. Janet revealed the remnants of past momentum. Nancy confirmed my current alignment.

And that’s the beauty of what I teach. To explain:

A Return from Negative Momentum

Back in December, I stopped writing for The Transamorous Network blog. Perhaps you noticed. I noticed that my focus on trans-attraction and transamory back then had slipped into negative momentum focus. I was drawing more and more criticism from angry readers—many of whom didn’t understand my perspective or what I was offering. All of them were trans women.

I tried for a long time to clear up their misunderstandings and limited beliefs. But those people couldn’t hear what I was saying. That’s because their Belief Constellations ranged far from where I am in my knowledge about life experience. So the more I tried to uplift them, the harder they pushed. And the harder they pushed, the more entrained I got.

Until I realized what I was doing.

When I did, I stopped pushing against that resistance. I stepped back and allowed my vibration to recalibrate. No more posts for that blog! In doing so, I let the negative momentum subside by not feeding it further.

Months later—without me publishing a single new post—new readers began reaching out again. Trans-attracted men, wives of trans-attracted men, even gay men sent me messages. They all were asking for guidance, for support, for answers. Not with anger—but with curiosity and warmth. And with understanding that I offer something of value.

That’s how I knew something shifted.

And then came Janet and Nancy, nearly at the same moment. Both represented clear reflections that I was now standing in a different vibrational space—one where I was ready to choose what momentum I wanted to amplify.

An Option to Focus

Janet mirrored my old stories—stories I had already soothed. Stories that had me pushing against trans women’s lack of understanding, insecurity and anger. Nancy mirrored new energy—stories I was now allowing. Ease in my being. Allowing instead of pushing. Letting the Universe present me with what I want. Not pushing against what I don’t.

Both Janet and Nancy offered a chance to decide where I wanted to place my focus and which stories I wanted to foster. They invited me to ask myself: Do I want more of this (Nancy)? Or more of that (Janet)?

Not because one is good and the other is bad. But because the Universe will always give us what we focus on.

So I leaned into Nancy’s presence—her clarity, her eagerness, her willingness to explore. And with that choice, I messaged Janet and let her know I was ending the correspondence. I told her why—not out of avoidance, or anger, but out of alignment. I explained that I was following what felt best, and honoring where my energy was now flowing.

Letting that go was a powerful, gentle release. It reminded me: Everyone is a divine being offering guidance—not always with praise or agreement, but always with clarity if we’re willing to see it.

Choosing Your Life

The Universe doesn’t waste energy. Every moment, every message, every person who shows up in our lives is exactly what we’ve summoned—not to test us, but to guide us.

Janet wasn’t a mistake. She wasn’t “negative.” She was a vibrational echo of the version of me who, not long ago, stopped writing for The Transamorous Network because I’d fallen into negative momentum. My old stories invited her critique. But I’ve shifted since then. I’ve tuned up. And that’s why Nancy came too.

One was contrast. The other, confirmation. Choosing our attention is choosing our life. The most important moment wasn’t when Janet criticized me. It wasn’t even when Nancy praised me. It was the moment I decided which direction to focus.

Was I going to spiral into defending myself to someone who didn’t want to hear me again? Or was I going to nurture the unfolding connection with someone who did? I chose Nancy. And that choice amplified my alignment even more. Then I also chose to lovingly release Janet from further correspondence — again, not out of anger, but because I no longer needed her reflection.

That’s how we move forward with grace.

For Trans Women and Trans-Attracted Men Alike

To my trans sisters: You are sovereign. You are radiant. And you don’t need to police how others love you in order to validate your womanhood. The men who love you aren’t broken. They’re becoming whole.

To the men: If you’re trans-attracted, and you’re still trying to figure out what that means—don’t try to figure it out alone. What you’re going through is not confusion. It’s a calling.

The Universe Never Misses. It never leads us astray. Janet and Nancy didn’t just show up by chance. They showed up because I asked for clarity. And the Universe answered with both: a reflection of where I’d been, and a glimpse of where I’m going. That’s how divine timing works. And that’s why I trust it more than anything.

Ready to experience this for yourself? If you’re ready to understand your desires—not through shame, but through soul—let’s talk. Schedule your free 1:1 session.

September 30, 2025September 29, 2025

The Hidden Truth of Trans-Attraction and Real Love

TL;DR: The author dismantles the myth that trans-attraction is fetishization, showing how authentic attraction to transgender women is distinct, deeply human, spiritually aligned and leaves trans-attracted men free to love themselves.

For years, one of the most common misconceptions I’ve encountered in my work with trans-attracted men and the women who love them is this: that being drawn to transgender women is just another form of fetishization. I used to hear this often in comments on my blog, and recently, a thoughtful reply raised the same point—comparing trans-attraction to a man preferring women of a certain race.

On the surface, that argument may sound convincing. Isn’t attraction just attraction? Isn’t trans-attraction simply one more “fixation,” no different from a preference for redheads or tall women? The truth, however, is far deeper. Reducing trans-attraction to fetishization not only misunderstands men’s lived experiences, it also undermines trans women’s authentic worth.

What Fetishization Really Means

Fetishization is the act of reducing another person to a body part, identity marker, or sexual novelty. It happens everywhere: racial fetishization, disability fetishization, and yes, fixation on transgender women. None of this is new. Human beings often project their insecurities or curiosities into sexual desire.

Yet fetishization, by its very nature, dehumanizes. A fetishizer sees only the attribute, not the whole person. When men are genuinely trans-attracted however, this is not what’s happening. They aren’t chasing “a trans body” or “a trans novelty.” They are attracted to transgender women as complete, multifaceted human beings who also happen to be trans.

The distinction matters. To call every instance of trans-attraction “fetishization” not only insults the men who experience it, it insults the trans women whose humanity gets reduced to a label.

How Trans-Attraction Is Different

In my twelve years of coaching trans-attracted men and couples facing problems due to trans attraction, I’ve learned that authentic trans-attraction isn’t a curiosity or a passing fixation. For many of these men, cisgender women don’t register as partners at all. Their desire, affection, and long-term compatibility all point toward trans women.

That makes “trans-attraction” more than just a “preference.” It’s an orientation that sits outside gay/straight binaries. Unfortunately, society’s misunderstanding of this creates enormous turmoil. When a man discovers his attraction to trans women, shame quickly follows. He may believe this makes him gay, broken, or perverse. None of that is true.

Further, cheating with a cis woman doesn’t shake a man’s sense of identity. Attraction to a trans woman often does. That existential crisis — “Am I gay? Am I still a man? Am I lovable?” — is what makes trans-attraction uniquely different from the examples critics often bring up.

Why Labels Create Both Clarity and Confusion

It’s fair to ask: does identifying as “trans-attracted” or “transamorous” create a new orientation? In some ways, yes—it gives men a safe language to understand themselves. Labels like “trans-attracted” are helpful starting points because they validate an experience men often carry in silence.

But labels are also limited. They can box people into identities that don’t fully reflect the richness of who they are. “Transgender” does the exact same thing for trans women. That’s why my work goes beyond labels. The ultimate goal is freedom — living authentically without fear of what others might say, and without clinging to social categories for validation.

This paradox shows up in trans communities, too. Many trans women rightly reject the gender binary, yet insist on being seen exclusively as “women,” rejecting any nuance that distinguishes their journey from that of cis women. Some even accuse men who appreciate their trans-ness of fetishization. In truth, empowered trans women I’ve met embrace the wholeness of their identity, without fear of being reduced.

“Trans attraction” gives men a starting place to understand themselves. From there, they can let go of labels and simply love.

The Hypocrisy of the Fetish Trope

Accusing all trans-attracted men of fetishization often says more about the accuser than the accused. Trans women who haven’t fully accepted their own trans-ness may feel objectified when a man affirms it. If she sees her trans identity as shameful, then anyone who finds it attractive must be “fetishizing” her. This is projection at work — her unresolved self-acceptance mirrored back through his desire.

That doesn’t mean fetishization never exists. Of course it does. Some men (and women) reduce others to novelty. But collapsing all trans-attraction into that category silences the many men who are sincerely, holistically drawn to trans women. It also denies trans women the dignity of being loved for all of who they are.

A Spiritual Perspective on Trans-Attraction

From a spiritual perspective, the attraction between trans-attracted men and transgender women is not random. These men are vibrational matches for these women. They come together not to perpetuate shame, but to reveal authenticity. Trans-attracted men often carry the role of affirming trans women’s worth, just as trans women often catalyze men into deeper self-honesty.

This isn’t fetishization. It’s alignment, sovereignty in action. It’s the unfolding of two people stepping into authenticity, even when culture doesn’t understand them.

The real issue isn’t whether trans-attraction is a fetish. The issue is whether men and women are willing to live from their authenticity. That authenticity is what dissolves shame, heals relationships, and creates love that lasts.

Conclusion: Beyond Fetish, Into Freedom

Fetishization reduces people to objects. Trans-attraction elevates them into whole-person connections. While some men may indeed objectify, most of the men I work with are struggling not because they fetishize, but because they fear. They fear rejection, shame, and what their attraction “means” about who they are.

Sound familiar trans women?

Labeling them fetishizers adds another layer of stigma. Seeing them as authentically trans-attracted opens the door to healing — for them, for their partners, and for the trans women they love. So, is trans-attraction fetishization?

No.

It’s authenticity calling to be lived out loud.

January 7, 2025December 7, 2024

I Love When People Get It…And When People Don’t

I publish these posts weeks after I write them. That way, I don’t feel pressure to write something if I don’t want to. Invariably, however, the urge strikes. And so I find myself at my writing table.

Today is no different.

This post is about feedback I received over the last two weeks. Primarily feedback on two posts. The one about how trans women contributed to Trump winning the White House and another sharing my experience with sex with a post-op trans woman.

Not being a hypocrite, I’m going to lavish on what I want in this post, rather than dwell on what I don’t. I’m going to praise those readers who get what I’m sharing, who have benefited from reading these posts.

But I’m also going to praise those who haven’t got what I share. Including those lambasting that second post as transphobic. I am going to praise those people, because they offer grit, the grain of sand that contributes to the ongoing pearl forming in my personality oyster that unfolds as my daily life.

So in praise of both, I offer this rather brief post.

I’m pretty positive

Over the years of writing this blog, some trans women have pretty much raved about what I share. Those who get it, those primed to benefit from what I write, share their enthusiasm and satisfaction.

Some of those women engaged with me as clients. Others, haven’t, but they have reached out from time to time to share their life progress, progress happening at least partially because of what they’ve read on this blog.

I recall fondly an ongoing three-year conversation with a trans woman in the midwest somewhere, who struggled with men and career. After a couple years of focus, she wound up meeting much better men, and started her own business. One that became successful enough that she hired her mom as an employee.

Many such stories fill my memory. And there are less profound experiences that, while less profound, were no less gratifying to receive.

Recently, in response to my most recent posts (at the time of writing this), I got two examples I really, really appreciate. The first I’m sharing responds to a post I wrote after my post about the trans community helping Trump win. In that post I shared my “origin story.”

A few didn’t respond kindly to that one, but this person’s response resonates with intentions I put into that story:

Yeah. I’m pretty positive. And it seems that bright light I offer warmed the heart of this reader.

Making a difference

The post on Trump really triggered a lot of trans women. Getting triggered is unfortunate because it reveals so much more about the person getting triggered and says nothing about the thing the person is letting trigger them.

So when I got a lot of trans women pissed off about that post and the one about me having sex with a post-op trans woman, I reveled in the knowing I have about people, the Universe and how it all works. I shared some of that knowledge in responses to those people who commented negatively. On the surface what I wrote made little difference: the women just doubled-down on their triggered perspective.

But I know when that happens, such people make a connection with what I share in a powerful way. In that way, they are bound to encounter what they’ve read somewhere else in their life. Perhaps it will come in the form they can more readily digest. So I know while it looks like I made little difference, I actually made a HUGE difference.

And that’s why I’ve written so much on this blog. That and other reasons kept me coming back to my computer every week.

Comments like the one below kept me coming back too. Getting comments like this one cause all the flaming from triggered trans women to pale in comparison. Yep, some people out there get it. And it’s cool when they feel moved enough to share like this:

In praise

When a person gets triggered, the belief confrontation happening in them literally takes them over. They can’t control themselves, which is often why such people resort to name calling and even violence. So when people respond negatively in a comment, it doesn’t mean very much. They’re out of control.

But for a person to share a positive comment, something significant must happen to move them to take the time to comment. Feeling good isn’t enough. A strong resonance between the writer and the reader must happen. In other words, someone taking time to share a positive comment speaks more powerfully than someone firing off a triggered, angry offended rant.

That’s why I so appreciate when I get calls or comments, such as the ones above.

I appreciate the flames too though although sometimes it takes a while. That’s because they cause me to dig deeper into my awareness, the very same awareness that has me write these posts every week.

Maybe you can tell I’m heading somewhere. It’s a destination I expect will fulfill itself in the next two blog posts or so. Until then, I appreciate you, dear reader. Whether you get it or whether you don’t.

December 3, 2024November 17, 2024

I Had Sex With A Post-OP Trans Woman

Photo by Dainis Graveris on www.sexualalpha.com

TL;DR: The author shares what happened when a trans woman invited them to test drive her new vaginoplasty. What they found and what they recommend may surprise some and confirm others’ opinion about what sex with a post-op trans woman is like.

What it is like to be inside a post-op trans woman’s vagina? What does it feel like? Is the medical miracle comparable to the real thing?

Not long ago, I got answers via an unexpected late-night invitation: a trans woman I know traveled to Thailand for her “bottom surgery”, recovered, and now wanted feedback on her new nether regions. She wanted me to take a test drive.

I was willing, if she was willing to take the feedback (and some other things) for what it was: my honest, unvarnished opinion. It was a hook up, no doubt, not something I do lightly or even frequently. But Jane, let’s call her, is a familiar person and I wanted to help. She’s also smart, kind, politically active, young and pretty. In the least, we’d have good conversation as always. So I jumped in a Lyft and headed to Southeast Portland.

I’m writing this for you guys interested in trans women who may not have had sex yet with one, or maybe have, but with a pre-op trans woman. Or maybe you have had sex with a post-op trans woman. If you have, I’d love to hear your experience.

Here comes mine…

First, upfront disclosure: I prefer pre-op trans women for obvious reasons. Before you girls start hating, realize this is MY preference. It’s way more than about the plumbing alone and if you don’t like it or understand it, go after what you want rather than railing against me. I know my preference is natural. Yours are too. So go for what you want and leave mine alone. 😊

I didn’t realize Jane had a vagina until after my Lyft had long ago dropped me at my destination and departed towards its next fare. I sat there across from Jane on a tan couch positioned oddly in the center of her apartment, amid boxes, panties, cat litter and other assorted strewables. The place looked like two airlines crashed in her apartment spewing passengers’ private things wall-to-wall. Shit was everywhere…except maybe where it should have been.

Jane offered a good excuse: She’s packing for a cross-town move. Why she thought about getting vaginal feedback now crossed my mind later, long after the test drive. But in the moment…well, let’s just say I was focused on more important things.

The point being, $35 into a $60 round trip Lyft fare, it was too late by the time she told me she had a vagina to decline the offer. Not that I would have had she told me ahead of time.

I’m not a hypocrite, so being where I am in my own development stemming from practicing what I preach at The Transamorous Network, I had no expectations what Jane’s booty call would include. She simply asked “want to come over and have sex with me?” That was it.

I had no idea what Jane had in her pants either. I knew from lengthly conversations that she saw herself “as a woman”. My awareness extended only that far. Besides, I know plenty of trans women who see themselves as women, but have penises.

As I said, Jane also is pretty, smart and fun to be around. So I didn’t mind if nothing happened, if she had a cock or something else. No specifics significantly registered. I only thought it would be nice to see her, sex or no sex.

After acknowledging this was a booty call and with small talk catchup behind us, the night got more…interesting. A fairly rigorous conversation followed about “the act”: her desires, how she liked it, what she was into, etc.

I made sure everything about to happen was consensual, without making it weird, even though I thought about whipping out my iPhone and recording us both acknowledging a consensual pairing.

Most of our pre-foreplay intellectual banter concerned Jane’s preoccupation with my pre-op preference.

But it’s not relevant

Like some trans girls, Jane is hyper-sensitive over men who prefer pre-op trans women. I get that sensitivity. While some men can and probably do get off being objectified — by trans women and others — sometimes for their endowments, their six pack, or money, for example, most trans women I know aren’t too keen on a guy liking them only for what they’re packing.

Some men do objectify pre-op trans women. But most of the men I work with through The Transamorous Network want something more than sex with trans women. They’re rational enough in their desires though to know what they like, and I encourage self-love, honesty and integrity in all my clients.

Desires, I tell them, are to be fulfilled. So long as my clients tell stories consistent with what they want, what they want will fulfill themselves. Same with trans women and their desires. Planet Earth contains enough time and space for everyone’s desire. One needn’t criticize what another wants just because one doesn’t want that.

If a trans woman doesn’t want to be objectified for having a penis, she won’t so long as she tells stories consistent with what she wants (being seen for all she is) instead of what she doesn’t want (being seen only as having a penis).

So trans women: Go get what you want. Leave others to their desires.

By the time we talked through Jane’s triggered story about my preference (which was irrelevant) sex was a foregone conclusion. No one was backing out, neither Jane, nor I, nor my curiosity, nor her feedback desires.

I had never been with a post-op trans woman. This would be an interesting anthropological adventure! What happened next was….

Clinical…and about what I thought it would be

I should also add here that I’ve led a robust sex life, filled with many, many women, some men, trans people (yes, trans men too) and other more advant garde experiences I needn’t share. The point is, I’ve been around body parts. Including LOTS of vaginas.

I also have a fair understanding about how doctors perform the delicate surgical origamic alchemy transmogrifying a penis into a vagina. It’s a medical miracle, frankly, that it functions at all.

I’ve heard second hand from trans women that their artificial vag works just great, so well these coital doppelgängers work, men can’t tell the difference they say.

Yet never had I heard men describe their experience being in one. This was my first-person opening, a slot inviting my entry, so to speak. So, with relish, I took my shirt off. Then my pants…

Looking back I’d say it was what I thought it might be. Our pairing carried a tone more clinical than amorous. Imagine having sex with someone knowing researchers watched through a two-way mirror you knew was a two-way mirror. Or you had sex with a fellow researcher, while each of you remained mostly in clinical mindsets while fucking…

Going with that clinical vibe, here’s what I observed:

It was not a vagina

As much as a trans woman might say it is, it isn’t. Once inside, even with lube, it felt like a crevice designed with no thought as to the shape of a penis. It felt as though someone opened a hole in a body, but didn’t bother to contour it in a way to make it vaginal-like.

Unlike a vagina, no fleshy folds awaited inside to coddle me to orgasm. Instead it felt like rubbing against exactly what it was: epidermis. Not only was it too shallow and thus most unwelcoming for my length, it also featured insufficient diameter. Even with lube it felt the whole affair would rip my penis skin off, like the skin of a grape, were any intensity applied.

As we both undulated ourselves while in the act, I felt an uncomfortable hardness. No, it wasn’t my erect penis, rather it was a bone… I mused as to whether that was Jane’s pelvic bone, which made being inside her an uncomfortable experience in addition to feeling near flayed.

Also unlike a vagina, there appeared to be two bulbous, fleshy forms just above and inside the “vaginal” canal, only slightly protruding, like a tiny prolapsed anus. It felt exactly like a little penis peeking out of a cave. When Jane came, I felt ejaculate shoot from between those fleshy forms, much like ejaculate from an erect penis.

Speaking of penises, somewhere in my pelvis lies a muscle. When flexed, my erect penis, rises and falls without manual assistance. I don’t know whether a vaginoplasty, the medical term for “turning a penis into a vagina”, includes dismantling that muscle.

In Jane’s case, whenever she moved her hips as though to thrust, I felt the two fleshy forms aforementioned move…not vaginal like, but like a penis. That movement and the discharge gave me the distinct impression that, despite its transformation, and no matter how emasculated it may have become, a penis was, in fact, still present and accounted for, but now literally hood-winked into appearing as a vagina.

Finding my way around the vaginal exterior confounded me as well. It resembled no vagina I’m familiar with. I couldn’t find the clear and pleasantly erect, welcoming clitoris typically shrouded in its fleshy hood near the vaginal apex, even when Jane insisted it was there and vigorously played herself to orgasm.

Despite our mutual arousal the whole time, the experience was less than satisfactory.

I shared my thoughts in detail with Jane afterwards in candid, no uncertain terms. Not surprisingly, she took it in stride, listened intently while taking mental notes. She thanked me for the honesty and said other men she’s been with said it was just like a vagina. I don’t know these men, so I can’t speculate at all about their prior experiences. I only speak from mine.

Which include understanding…

I know trans women don’t get vaginoplasty, vulvoplasty, SRS, or “bottom surgery” – whatever you want to call it – for the pleasure and satisfaction of the men. I presume the main reason some (not all) trans women go to such lengths is so their exterior decor matches their interior identity blueprint. They want to look how they feel…to them, most of all. They want to look in the mirror and see only that which matches how they feel. Many feel strong rejection of their penis.

I get that.

My opinion and experience therefore doesn’t matter as far as trans women go. If a trans woman wants such a procedure, I say whatever makes you happy. Maybe somewhere on the list for such women, a future partner’s experience counts. Maybe not.

Still, the following might be helpful.

One of my former clients, a senior medical professional who runs a major health organization, is familiar with vaginoplasty and vulvoplasty procedures. When I described my experience my client said my observations were “clinically and anatomically spot on”.

“It’s extremely difficult,” my client said. “To create something where there is nothing. Most literature in the field says results are marginal and often dissatisfying” in both form and function. He continued by saying invariably partners don’t experience satisfaction with such procedures and that it is routine that subjects return for repeated modifications.

“This is a major procedure and in my opinion not worth the risk and expense because once done, no matter how unsatisfied, it can’t be reversed. And at this point, the results are not satisfactory,” He added.

We both agreed over the reasons, the stories, which drive some trans women to seek a visage matching their ideals. So my client says such trans women should seek the most capable provider possible, with no concern for expense, so they are happy with the outcome. Even then, he says, they may have unsatisfactory results.

I have a hard time believing guys, especially those with ample vaginal experience, would find such a surrogate satisfactory, let alone pleasurable. My client, with medical experience agrees: “Any man who has had sex with cis-women will know right away what they’ve entered is not a vagina.”

I asked him whether there are skeletal differences between men and women in the pelvic area, explaining my experience with what I thought was Jane’s pelvic bone.

“Indeed,” He said. “The female pelvic arch, where the genitals are, is wider and higher than the male pelvis. So it’s highly likely you were grinding against her “male” pelvic bone while trying to find the right angle inside her “vagina”.”

Registerednursern.com confirmed this:

The subpubic angle is the angle produced by the inferior rami of the pubis, which creates the pubic arch. In women, the subpubic angle will generally be equal to or greater than 80 degrees (obtuse), which is similar to the shape of the letter “L”. In men, the pubic arch is narrower, creating a subpubic angle that is usually less than or equal to 70 degrees (acute), making it a similar angle to an upside down “V.”
https://www.registerednursern.com/male-vs-female-pelvis/

That upside down V was exactly what I bumped up against. Here, look at this drawing for clarification, which also comes form registerednursern.com.

Take note of differences in pelvic arch location and shape between a male pelvis (left) and female pelvis (right). The male pelvis arch is lower AND far more narrower, meaning, you’re going to hit it while fucking. Especially during missionary style. Photo: registerednursern.com.

“We’re just not at the point where that kind of surgery can produce convincing results,” My client said. “And it’s highly unlikely we’ll be able to create from scratch a faithful replica to what it feels like entering a vagina.”

So it goes…

I remember one day, decades ago, accepting a quite young trans man’s invitation to hook up, before Craigslist kiboshed its personals section. When I arrived at a St.Johns apartment, a beautiful, pierced young person with a full face of stubble welcomed me. When he took off his clothes, he had had not a stitch of surgery. Everything “girl” remained untouched. Beauty rivaling Venus stood before me. Venus with a beard and short hair.

As I feast my young eyes upon them, pang of sorrow accompanied my awe. I knew some day this guy would likely go under the knife, irreparably altering what I experienced as a perfect human specimen.

And yet, beauty IS in each beholder’s eye. What must be done must be.

I’m glad I had this experience with Jane, even though what she has holds no candle to a natural vagina. Not in my opinion anyway. Guys: Whatever you call it, this procedure has a long way to go. Natural vaginas, as yet, have no rivals. If a vagina is what you want, stick to cis-women.

I know my experience is but one data point, with a doctor’s endorsement of sorts. Still, I hope what I experienced was not state of the art. If so, it’s not worth the money in my opinion, and the state of the art is…disappointing.

I’m glad I prefer, and get the opportunity to enjoy, penis-equipped women, who are, like me, happy with what they have. If you like what I like, I assure you there are at least as many women out there who want to keep their penis, as there are numbers of us willing to go to bed with and love out loud penis-equipped women. Go for what you want.

Don’t worry about people condemning your preference. Your preference isn’t theirs so their opinion doesn’t matter. Let no one talk you into compromising. Especially rants from trans women. They don’t know you. They aren’t you. You are you, be that.

And for those girls who feel they must get bottom surgery: you go for what you want too. But please don’t let impatience or economics lead you towards regret. What I’ve found is the doppelgänger turned out to be a poorly-conceived and executed facsimile. My advice for men again: if you want a vagina-equipped woman, the cis-variety is the best bet.

November 12, 2024November 11, 2024

How Trans and Trans-Attracted People Helped Trump Win

TL;DR: Many in the LGBTQ community, including some transgender and trans-attracted people, are panicking over the 2024 election outcome. In this story, the author shows how such people helped Trump win the presidency. Then they show what transgender and trans-attracted people can do next to benefit from what happened on Nov. 5.

I’m pretty thrilled with what happened last Tuesday. Although I must admit, I didn’t feel that way last Wednesday. That’s because my Broader Perspective assured me one candidate would prevail over the other.

That’s not what happened. Trump handily won. And it may be that the Senate and the House will fall to GOP majorities too. At the time of this writing, that’s unclear.

What is clear though is half of America is thrilled. The other half is flip-flopping through rage, depression, disbelief, terror and more. Included in the second half, I’m sure, are many, many trans and trans-attracted people, and many other LGBTQ people.

I didn’t vote for Trump. And I’m queer/transamorous. But I’m glad he’s going to be president. Not for reasons you may think though, dear reader.

In this post, I’ll lay out why I’m thrilled instead of terror-struck about the election results and why you should/could be as well.

Let’s get to it!

A brilliant manifester

Those who haven’t regularly read my blogs will struggle with what they’re about to read. I invite comments and questions, just try to keep them civil, please.

Those who have regularly read my blogs will find this post consistent with everything else I write. In fact, earlier this year, I wrote about Trump and his seeming amazing ability to thwart what some might call justice. I praised his ability as a manifester too.

There’s no two ways about it: Trump is a brilliant manifester. He focuses on what he wants and he doesn’t care about things like facts, the truth or what others think about him. As a result of his pure focus, he usually gets what he wants.

Discovering Trump’s recent massive increase in his personal fortune, thanks largely to Truth Social, astounded me for example. All those silly things he sold to his followers — coins, custom Bibles, shoes — are evident of his powerful manifestation momentum. Especially when it comes to money. But Truth Social really took the cake. Until the 2024 election.

Now, I don’t agree with anything he is about. And yet, I must admire his ability to focus. His ability to focus on what he wants…and manifest it is exemplary.

Willing participants

Not so much with some transgender and trans-attracted people and other LGBTQ community members. We all are points of consciousness, existing in a vibrational reality of All That Is. Our thoughts determine what we create as our life experience. That includes politics. There’s no evidence disputing this.

So when a person focuses on something they want and they don’t resist it they will realize that thing in their lives at some point. Again, resistance is key. If they focus a little on what they want, and a lot on what they don’t, that conflicting focus slows down and can even prevent them getting what they want. Indeed, that conflicting focus can actually produce exactly what they don’t want.

And that’s exactly what nearly every progressive person was doing, including myself, leading up to Nov. 5. That includes many transgender and trans-attracted people and, I’m sure, other LGBTQ people too. Yes, I wanted Harris to win. But was my focus purely on that outcome? Nope. I dabbled in resisting Trump. And doing so, I added momentum to all the others wanting him to win, including Trump himself. That’s right, every progressive focusing intently on what Trump was doing vibrationally aligned themselves with the GOP, Trump and MAGA.

And that’s why Trump prevailed in the election. All those progressive points of consciousness became cooperative components of Trump’s desire to win. So he did.

How it really works

So when I say everyone got what they wanted, that’s what happened. By “got what they wanted” I mean, they got what they mainly focused on. This is an important aspect of this “you create your reality” business. We don’t get what we say we want. We don’t even get what we think we want. What we get is the physical match to the dominant vibration we’re emanating. And we emanate through our focus.

When we focus on something we don’t want, if we keep doing that, that’s what’s going to manifest. Life experience is a reflection. It constantly reflects back to us what we’re emanating. Having our focus become visible in this way, life experience helps us understand what we’re emanating, even if we can’t feel the vibration.

This explains why it’s important to not focus on the now so much, especially when it contains what we don’t want. Because when we do that, we are focusing our emanate-or on the reflection of past focus or vibration. Doing that, we create again what we’ve already created in our reflection. That’s how “reality” persists; many points of consciousness are focused on what is, thereby perpetuating it.

To get what we want, we look at our reflection – what we’re emanating – and if what we see is not what we want to create next, then we shift our focus or emanation.

Most of us don’t know that, so when something shows up that we don’t want, we keep focusing on that. We complain about it, or push against it. We tell our friends about it and commiserate. And in doing that we create more of that.

That’s how we all helped Trump win. And yet, there’s a really good outcome inherent in getting what we don’t want. Let’s look at that next.

Setting up the prerequisite

Anyone can use physical reality to figure out what they’re creating. Indeed, that’s what it’s for. However, people can develop sensitivity sufficient to perceive how they’re vibrating too. They also can listen to thoughts they think on the regular. Thoughts are more-manifested vibration, after all. So if our sensitivity to vibration isn’t very keen, we can pay attention to our thinking. If that’s too much work, we can simply observe what shows up in our lives.

Nearly everyone not in a practice such as the one I show clients how to use has insufficient sensitivity to perceive their vibratory emanations. Many trans and trans-attracted people don’t bother thinking about how they’re thinking. They think thinking is just an automatic process. Not something creating their future.

So for all those people, it’s easiest to use their reality to tune to what they want. But some don’t even do that! It’s all good though: since we’re all eternal, we have all the time in the world to learn how to create what we want.

Many trans and trans-attracted people fear their physical reality. They think, for example, that now that Trump is president, they must flee the country. Or, those outside the US must fear the US. That’s flawed thinking because it’s based on a premise that will bite such people in the butt if they don’t realize it’s a flaw. We’ll get to the good outcome I alluded to above. Let’s first look at this flawed premise as a prerequisite. It’s important.

Beliefs create lack of control

I’ve shared this over and over: each of us exists in our own, individually-created reality. People in our reality are there as reflections. They reflect what we are thinking about the people they represent: strangers, letter carriers, loved ones, family members, coworkers, etc. So no one shares their reality with another. The practice I share makes this absolutely clear by pointing practitioners to evidence proving this the case. If you don’t believe this, then just assume it’s true for now.

Since we’re all in our own reality, and since we’re each the creator of that reality, nothing and no one can create something for us. Only we can. But if we think/believe that someone or something can create our reality, then our reality will reflect that back to us.

How? In the form of a reality seemingly being created by others.

It will also include events seeming to randomly happen, usually against our will. Again, it’s not that someone else is creating it or that what’s happening is random or accidental. We’re creating that experience from the belief (the vibration emanation) that draws that experience to us.

Many beliefs can do that. Here are examples and all them are fairly common in human consciousness:

Life is an accident of random processes
God is real and his will supersedes mine
Accidents happen
Bad luck happens
Good luck happens
Bad things happen to good people
Life is dangerous
Life is random
We never know when our time is up
Transphobes are a threat to my life
If my co-workers find out I’m trans-attracted, I’ll lose my job

Many more similar beliefs exist. But these should give us an idea of what beliefs create realities wherein it looks like others shape our experience.

Where reality comes from

The problem with such beliefs doesn’t end with the fact that they create realities that look like others can control what happens in our experience. Such beliefs, if believed, means that the person holding them must contend with such a reality!

So if we believe the world is going to hell because Trump is now president, we must leave the country, or even the world, if possible, because that belief will create experience consistent with it. I wouldn’t tell someone contemplating moving to Canada to stay in the US, for example. If they believe staying in the US is dangerous, they will perceive evidence proving this true. And eventually, they will attract to themselves experiences confirming the perceived danger.

But here’s the thing: another person, with the exact same conditions minus the belief about Trump will not see that evidence. And if they believe their reality springs from their empowering beliefs, it doesn’t matter that Trump is president. Because the president has no ability to force conditions to play out in our lives. Nor does anyone else. Unless we believe they do.

Focus creates reality. Thoughts create reality. Beliefs create reality. All three of these are the only Source of reality as it exists for each person. It’s important then, to cultivate beliefs consistent with the reality one wants.

But even if we don’t, the Universe and All That Is will help us do so. How? Well, now it’s time to visit that good outcome I mentioned above.

It’s a matter of choice

A hallmark of the practice I share describes the instantaneous creation of our ongoing reality experience. Part of that process includes our physical reality as a reflector. Here’s how that works. Here’s also how Trump winning the election is a good thing, especially for transgender and trans-attracted people.

Since our reality is a reflection, whether we’re conscious of it or not, we immediately know two things in the moment we experience the reflection: we know what we don’t want and we know what we do want.

In the case of “negative” reflections, the “not wanted” is front and center. Our emotions, thoughts and even our bodies sometimes reflect the “unwanted” aspect of an unpleasant experience. For nearly all progressives, Nov. 6 was an “unwanted” reality.

MAGA won with the help of progressives and trans and trans-attracted people.

But in that same instant, progressives also knew what they wanted. No, they didn’t want Tump to not be president. That’s still a focus on Trump, which leads to him being president.

Some progressives wanted freedom to be. Some wanted empowerment in their lives or the lives of people they know. Others wanted a country that, in their mind, cares for others. Many wanted all these things and more.

And in that moment of realization, in knowing what they wanted and what they didn’t want, they had a choice — a crucial choice. They could focus on what they wanted. Or they could focus on what they didn’t want.

I would bet nearly every single progressive in America focused, on Nov 6, on what they didn’t want. And they did that with very strong emotional intent. That’s a problem.

It must be

It’s a problem because all those progressives, while not knowing it, amplified Tump becoming president by focusing on that not-wanted situation and through their focus and emotions added more momentum to what they already focused into existence on Nov 5. It’s exactly what I described above about looking at what is and thereby creating more of that.

But some progressives (myself included) did something different. We expressed curiosity about what happened instead of fear or insecurity. We wondered how this happened. Then, getting an answer (what you’re reading here, dear reader) we decided to focus on what we want. In that focus, held no matter the evidence of the current reflection, we felt better. And in that better-feeling place, we emanate a more positive vibration.

That positive vibration must create a reflection in our lives consistent with that emanation. And it doesn’t matter that Trump won. But any progressives, including trans, trans-attracted and LGBTQ people, who try to do this, but also who believe Trump’s victory does matter, have the same problem progressives focusing on what they do not wanted have: they’re creating a reality for themselves that includes Trump controlling their life experience.

So the good news is, out of a negative experience, we know what we want and what we don’t. Line up with what we want and we will eventually get what we are lined up with. This is how the Universe works, so it MUST BE.

More and more GOP

A lot of progressives worry about other people. They worry about the poor. Some worry about LGBTQ people or other “disadvantaged” people such as BiPOC folks. The problem with that worry is, it doesn’t help.

If everything you just read is accurate (and it is) then those beliefs about those people create a reality for those believers in which those people are disadvantaged. If progressives really want to help others, their best bet is think the most empowering, positive and loving thoughts they can about everyone. Including their enemies (the GOP).

Because the hate or fear or worry progressives hold does nothing but disadvantage the very progressives holding such views. That holds doubly true for hate. Hating conservatives or transphobes doesn’t make them go away. Have you noticed? They haven’t gone anywhere. Indeed, we could say the conservative/transphobe movement has grown, become meaner and more effective. Thanks progressives!

Maybe it’s time we progressives take a different approach. One that nearly every spiritual leader suggests: love your enemies as yourself. I know that the more progressives who do that, the more those progressives’ lives will improve. My life shows that!

But those progressives can’t do anything to help another progressive’s life improve. Remember, we all create our own reality. Each progressive must do it for themselves. And many aren’t ready to do that.

No worry. We’re all eternal. And the world will keep reflecting back to such people a progressively awful life, until they surrender to the only power they have: the power of their Broader Perspective. And when they do, they’ll find everything they want is there.

No matter who is in the White House.