We’re not sure the latest murder of a transwoman, the first of 2018, should be considered a hate crime and thus included among the epidemic of murders over the last few years.
Instead, we see it as domestic violence. For the spouse of this locally famous transwoman murdered her, not in a fit of shameful hate-filled rage that accompanies a true hate crime, but instead in a fit of out-of-mindness, similar to any other crime of passion.
We’re not taking anything away from the tragedy, or from the fact that another transwoman was murdered. What we are saying is circumstances surrounding this one seem to be quite a departure from recent trends.
According to police (as reported in the New York Post), her husband, Mark Steele-Knudslien, pleaded not guilty to murder after admitting hitting her with a hammer and stabbing her after an argument. Not a hate crime. A case of domestic violence. Admitted.
Sad, but not something out of the ordinary: women are murdered by men in similar contexts far too often. Transwomen are women. So it shouldn’t be a surprise something like this happened.
We are eager for the day when it is a surprise. For as we said, it happens far too often. But this tragic incident should not be included among the real travesties of justice.
In my last post I wrote about how sucky stories creates a sucky life. You just can’t complain about life and end up happy. All you get is more suck.
“Suck” doesn’t have to be something monumental, such as chronic illness or chronic unemployment. It can be as simple a thing as not finding the love you want whether you’re transgender or trans attracted. It an even be as simple as having a desire for something (anything) and not finding fulfillment of that desire.
That does suck!
Whether you believe it or not, you’re supposed to be getting all you want out of this life. But to have all those things there’s a few other things you need to remember and then put into action.
:Your disbelief can’t be disproved.:
One is that you are creating your life experience as you go. The other is that your emotions clue you in on the process you use (your story-telling) to create your life experience and are constantly indicating whether you’re creating the life you want, or something other than that.
If you don’t believe that, it doesn’t matter because that’s what’s happening. The interesting thing about the stories you tell is (and stories are just thoughts, and “beliefs” are thoughts you think over and over) this: life will always show you evidence of the story you’re telling.
So in this quirky way, if you don’t believe what you’re reading right now, life is…right now…giving you all kinds of evidence to “prove” your thoughts and beliefs are “true”. Including other thoughts consistent with your story that this is not “true”. So your disbelief can’t be disproved.
The only thing you can do to prove to yourself what you’re reading is accurate is to try on new stories consistent with what you’re reading. I guarantee over 30 days, such a test will offer so much evidence you’ll begin to see life in a whole new way.
It’s an interesting question. This articlearticle takes a good, long look at that question. It begins with recounting the murder of a transwoman, so be forewarned…
The article’s main message is, you’re transphobic if you think a person who is trans needs to tell potential suitors that fact before they engage in a relationship. The argument goes that a person who is not attracted to transwomen will want to know ahead of time who they are getting involved with. Because if that person is transgender, there is a possibility the cis-person (or other variety of human) won’t choose to be with that person.
I guess the same argument could be made for being racist: if somehow black people could conceal their blackness, racists would want to know ahead of time whether the person they find themselves interested in is black, so they can check their interest.
Sounds dumb, right? I mean, in order for a person to want to be sure they aren’t interested in said black person is because they are somehow interested in them, right? Interestingly, we don’t have to worry about that because black people can’t conceal their blackness. Most anyway. As a result, people who make their partner choices based on skin color alone can merrily avoid all us niggers. lol.
Not so with transgender people apparently.
Which is the point, I think, of the article. Not that all transgender people conceal their trans ness…many actually do. Intentionally and unintentionally. But that’s not the point I’m making. I’m saying it’s quite possible that a person who is scared of being with a transgender person can easily find themselves attracted to a transgender person before discovering the person is indeed trans. I mean have you seen Dusty Rose? This of course has happened in many of the trans murder cases in recent years.
But being scared of a person because they are trans is an interesting thing.
The author puts it more plainly:
None of this means it is transphobic to not be attracted to individual trans people. Nor is it transphobic to not be attracted to specific genitals. But it is transphobic to claim to not be attracted to all trans, people. For example, there is a difference between saying you won’t go out with someone for having a penis and saying you won’t go out with someone because they’re trans.
It’s similar to someone saying they aren’t attracted to all black people. So is it a preference? Or is it phobia/racism?
Incidentally, many, many transwomen are racist if held to this same definition. Couldn’t a transwoman’s lack of interest in black men – because of their skin color – or some other aspect of their physical disposition, something they can’t help bing, be interpeted the same way?
You better believe it.
“Oh, but THAT’S a preference,” some will say….Not according to many, many, many, many people. But not everyone. Some think it’s just prejudice. Others do think it’s a preference. So how is not wanting to be with a transwoman, even if a person is initially attracted to such a person, not a preference then? I think it depends on the story.
That’s Dusty Rose. And yes, she’s fine, period
After all, there are a LOT of black people, men too, who are loving, caring people. Just as there are probably similar such people among transwomen.
Here’s a great definition of racism: “people making negative assessments of large groups of individuals that they’ve never met, based solely on the color of their skin.” Replace “based solely on the color of their skin” with “based solely on their status outside the heteronormative binary”, and we start coming to some interesting parallels.
Suffice it to say this is an great example of why I wrote the post recently on why it’s so hard to be the “woke” police. Everyone has a picadillo or two. You’re bound to have yours exposed when you start exposing others. So it’s tough to call people racist or transphobic, especially in the grey areas. If a person is calling people racist slurs, or anti-trans slurs, or demeaning a person, or a group of people in either category on the basis of that alone, that’s one thing. But it gets really slippery when a person starts trying to parse out examples that could be just preference.
It’s far better – if you’re wanting to be happy – to leave all that shit to other people. It’s far better to create stories which create the best reality circumstances for your life and let other people live. If that means sometimes (in the early stages) meeting a dick, or a racist or a transphobe or two, so be it. In the end, those people won’t be able to find you….if you’re telling the right stories.
The number of transgender people running for office recently has skyrocketed. That’s such wonderful news, because it more representation in our “lawmaking halls” will mean more legislation favorable toward transgender people.
Here’s an awesome perspective on this, which was excerpted from this report:
The reason behind this appears to be that simply knowing someone who is LGBTQ makes people more likely to support LGBTQ rights.
“Being visible and present continues to change hearts and minds, and humanize us and our issues,” Aisha C. Moodie-Mills, President and CEO of the Victory Fund, told NBC OUT.
According to Reynolds, “When LGBTQ people come out, they become your daughter, uncle, friend, work colleague. They become humanized, normalized. We know that the number of people who support marriage equality tracks the number of people who say they know someone who is gay.”
Check out this great graph. It shows the increasing number of transgender people running for office and the number elected. These data are from 2015. They don’t include this year or last. What this tells me is, the future is bright. Very bright. That’s cause to celebrate.
Now, if you frequent our content, you know that focusing on news like this, creates more awareness of similar news. As you focus on more of that kind of news, you feel better. As you feel better (whether you believe it or not) you are creating by virtue of feeling better, more experiences of connecting with more similar kinds of news. That means you create more of this kind of progress in physical reality.
If instead you focus on news that is depressing, negative, and disempowering, the same holds true. You feel worse. As you feel worse you are creating through your negative feelings more experiences of connection with similar kinds of news. That means you create more of this kind of (negative) progress in your physical reality.
And this is where your freedom comes in: you are free to create whatever “reality” you want to experience. The choice it completely yours. So why not create what you want, instead of what you don’t?
Slate Online just published an important article which should be shared throughout the transgender community. It accurately clarifies how the oddest allies of the transgender community, Richard Simmons, and his loss in a California libel suit has benefitted transgender Americans.
The article requires careful reading. Here’s the background:
A tabloid called Simmons a transgender woman. Simmons sued for libel and lost. What the judge said in his ruling was the key stroke which establishes a legal landmark for trans people:
For the first time in United States history, Keosian declared that misidentifying a person as transgender is not defamatory because it does not subject that individual to “hatred, contempt, ridicule or obloquy.” Keosian further explained that the judicial system should not countenance anti-trans animus, notwithstanding its existence in pockets of society. “While, as a practical matter, [transgender persons can] be held in contempt by a portion of the population,” Keosian said, “the court will not validate those prejudices by legally recognizing them.”
From the actual court document, which you can download here.:
The court does not mean to imply in its holding that the difficulties and bigotry facing transgender people is minimal or nonexistent. To the contrary, the court has reviewed the evidence submitted by Simmons regarding the deplorable statistics relating to transgender people….However, this court finds that even if there is a sizeable portion of the population who would view being transgender as negative, the court should not, in the words of our cousins in Massachusetts, “directly or indirectly, give effect to these prejudices.” (Albright, supra, 321 F.Supp.2d at p. 137–138.) Similar to the that court’s reasoning regarding the prejudices facing homosexuals, “[i]f this Court were to agree that calling someone” transgender “is defamatory per se—it would, in effect, validate that sentiment and legitimize relegating [transgender people] to second-class status.” Such a finding is consistent with holdings that misidentifying one’s race, medical condition, or sexual orientation is not libelous per se simply because there exist a portion of the population that expresses prejudice towards those groups.
The entire Slate article is worth a read. What it tells me is the legal foundations of the country are increasingly coming down on the side of transgender people. Added to this is the current administration’s hardline on indicting murderers of transgender people with federal hate crimes, and you have just a boatload of positive news about how society is shifting.
In my last post I wrote about how sucky stories creates a sucky life. You just can’t complain about life and end up happy. All you get is more suck.
It’s an interesting question. This 
