Gotta love the moms (and dads)

heres-how-to-get-your-parents-to-love-you-again-crop
It’s not impossible.

It may be hard to read this post if you’re transgender and your family has disowned you, or you’re transamorous and in the closet because you’re afraid your family may reject you. But I’m telling you that focusing on the following instead of the rejection you feel or your fears can produce a miracle for you.

There are increasing numbers of parents realizing their transgender children deserve their love, attention and affection. I was going to write this just about moms, because I see more and more stories of them coming to this realization. However, recently, like in the last two weeks, I’ve come across more stories of dads doing the same thing. The latest and probably highest-profile is Warren Beatty’s  adoration of his son. But I’ve seen others.

If you have been rejected by your family, it may bring no solace to know that your experience and your desire for your family’s acceptance has paved the way for these new emerging transgender children to be born to loving, accepting parents. But that is exactly what is happening. That the parents are stepping up to being loving accepting parents can have an effect on your relationship with your parents. The reason why is because your relationshp with your parents is having an effect on their relationship with theirs. I can assure you your parents can become loving and accepting of you. If that is what you want. So long as you focus on the fact that they are not loving and accepting, however, they cannot become the loving and accepting people you want them to become.

Nothing stays the same. Everything is always changing. It just looks like things are staying the same because we humans tend to focus on what is, thus creating more of that instead of using the constantly changing nature of reality to create what we want. The transgender community can go so much farther focusing on what is going right, that spending so much energy focusing on what is going wrong. This includes transamorous men. The more we focus on all the great things happening in our lives and the world, the lower the probability that you will experience the fears and shame you harbor about your attraction, fears and shame that keep you in the closet.

We’re all connected. Meaning, these young transpeople coming into the world are riding high on the fulfillment of your desires for parental love and acceptance. You can have that same experience. But you have to get out of your own way first. We can show you how to do that.

While you’re thinking about that, check out these awesome dads who have realized their transgender children deserve their love.

 

 

 

Video: A transgender love story

transgender-love-story-thumbnail

Our latest guest, Kelly, is a Roller Derby Girl, a phlebotomist, spent a crazy amount of time in Alaska before moving to Las Vegas and had the perfect marriage with her wife Mary before….well, you’ll just have to watch the show.

Another zany, fun interview with another fabulous transwoman. Sometimes, love comes when you least expect it.

 

16 – Girl You’re A Girl!

Podcast logo 2

 

 

Like many transwomen, Abby believes in unicorns. You know, that rare, fantasy of a man who is attracted to you not as a sex object, but for who you are. Do you believe men like this are impossible to find or don’t exist at all? In this episode, we call bull shit on all that. There are tons of men out there who are wanting to be with you. So how do you find them? We talk with Abby about that and more.

Trans-Blackface!

Yeah - that's a white dude
Yeah, that’s a white guy

There’s a row that’s been going on for three days over Mark Ruffalo’s movie about a trans sex worker. Jen Richards, who I have a secret crush on (only for her smarts. Damn! She’s wicked smart) took the actor, producer and seemingly good guy to task for casting a cis-man in the role of the trans character. She makes really good points. And while Ruffalo extends an olive branch in his own way, both the twitterverse and the transcommunity have a new bone to chew on.

I understand the frustration. When I first heard about this new film, my first thought was “I hope they put a transwoman in the sex worker role.” Bummed they didn’t. But really, not surprised: A lot of hollywood is about making money. It’s not surprising that it’s using the spotlight on the transcommunity as a money-making whore. After all, they did the same thing with black people.

Back then, when blacks were sweeping trash and staffing white bathrooms handing out towels, white actors (men) played black roles. They smeared their face with black paint (called blackface) leaving their white eyes, big lips and white-gloved hands starkly contrasting their pitch-black faces. It took many years before blacks finally wrested black roles from white men wearing black paint.

I think the same thing is going to happen with transgender roles. The Universe delivers on every desire, spoken or unspoken. Hollywood is not exempt. Yes, it seems to make sense to decry the fact that trans roles are being portrayed by men. Jen says it leads to violence against transwomen. That’s an overreach IMO. The real reason for (especially) male on transwomen violence is masculine insecurity. But that’s a whole other story.

I love films because they tell stories of all kinds that have all kinds of societal effects. Many films catalogue our collective cultural canon. But life is the real story telling stage. And we’ve seen this story before. Remember transcommunity. It took many years before black artists wrested black roles from white men in blackface. The same will happen here. Don’t fret too much. You only make the present moment worse for yourself. The Universe is creating a world for you. Focus on that.

Good men are easy to find!

The Unicorn Thumbnail

 

The Unicorn, for transwomen, is a man who loves them genuinely, openly and deeply as the person they are. Like the fantasy animal these men rare. An illusion. Do they even exist? We not only think they exist, they are easy to find when you get your story straight.