Category: Family

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Don’t make them and they won’t

Happiness it the goalWord to this:  “Life is too short to waste while you lock yourself away and pretend your past and your passions never existed. So get out there. Do you. And be a fucking weirdo.”

I really don’t like comparing people’s situation, so I’m breaking my rule right now: If you think being Transamorous is scary. Think about being a Brazilian Transwoman. I seriously doubt someone is going to kill you for your romantic attraction to Transwomen. Seriously.

You might lose your job. But if you got balls, sue those bastards for wrongful termination. Your friends might tease you, call you fag or worse. Fuck’em. They weren’t your friends anyway.

In most cases, no one really gives a shit who you love. Really.  Not until you make them.  You make them give a shit when you believe they give a shit.

So love who you want and get over the belief that other people’s opinions matter.  I know, “better said than done when you aren’t at risk of losing your job, man.”  Yeah, that’s true, I’m not. I work for myself.  It’s also fucking irrelevant.  What is relevant is what you want to believe because what you’re believing now is creating your life experience.  Keep believing other people determine who you are.  That’s what you’ll get.  Keep believing being seen in public with a transperson is too much to (emotionally) bear.  It will be.  Keep believing your parents won’t approve.  You’re the one creating that situation, not your parents.

Or…

Realize you are the one in control of your life experience.  It’s a simple matter.  But it doesn’t start that way.  You create miracles on a moment by moment basis.  You just don’t know you’re doing it.  Once you do, you’ll discover a whole different world and how easy it can be to live there instead of living where you can’t be who you are.

There’s a world out there waiting for you. It’s a world where you can step out of your limitations and live the life you’re meant to, the one you chose to live before you got here.  That life includes loving transwomen proud and out loud.

The only thing at stake is your happiness.  It’s yours for the taking.  Don’t know how to get it?  I can show you.

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Why I really like Transparent

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The cast of Amazon’s Transparent

It’s because the transwomen on there seem real, albeit in concentrated form. Unlike the L word and other shows intending to showcase LGBTQ and other minority communities, transwomen in Transparent aren’t super hot, gorgeous, waifs superfeminized and successful. They are trying to make their lives work for them against many odds while doing the best with what they have as far as their bodies and brains take them.

Even the cis-characters are tapestries of the human condition. Sometimes extremely so. In fact, Transparent is a kind of amplified version of reality – like all fantasy that is TV. It concentrates problems characters face to concentrate drama thereby enhancing viewership. It’s engaging if you don’t take it too seriously.

As a transamorous male, I enjoy seeing a more accurate portrayals of transwomen to the degree Transparent can portray them. It is fantasy though. It will never accurately portray what every single transperson’s experience is no more than the Huxtables on The Cosby Show could for all blacks. The trans spectrum, like the human one, is broad. Which means there are many successful transwomen working in the everyday work world, doing things ordinary people do, living relatively invisible lives. To watch this show then believe you know something about a transperson may be a fair assumption, but a dangerous one. Still, it’s a good start if you’re just getting your feet wet.

I don’t love transparent because of it’s accurate portrayal of transpeople. I love it because it’s good entertainment about a subject I care deeply about.