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The Election Is Almost Here. What Results Do We Want?

TL;DR: The author suggests that trans people face a momentous point in US history, a crossroads where they may experience joy, or terror. They suggest then that it’s more important than ever that such people remain as positive as possible in their thoughts and beliefs. They assert that one person can change the shape of history when that person aligns with positive energy. So they urge trans and trans-attracted people to align themselves with their positive desires at this important time.

We’re coming to an important moment in the United States. Some say it’s a battle between good and evil. It’s not that, but it is important to know what’s happening. And it’s important to know how to get what we want.

This is especially so for trans and trans-attracted people. That’s because whatever happens in November will either fill such people with joy…or with terror.

As this moment looms therefore, empowerment and joy are critical. That’s because those two emotions tell us we’re lined up with what we’re wanting. Empowerment and joy, consistently held, will allow us to experience only that which we’re wanting.

Which explains why those not in empowerment and joy experience more of what they’re NOT wanting. This is often the case with my brothers and sisters in the trans community. Republicans aren’t the only ones focusing mostly on what they don’t want. Some of us are doing it too. So it’s no surprise the Right is getting so much attention.

But the change happening is happening, not because of those who focus on what they don’t want. It’s happening because of those small numbers focused on what they do want. 

Let’s look more at what I mean.

Retribution is off track

The numbers of those focused on what they do want are small. That doesn’t matter though, because it only takes one. But when more are aligned together, nothing can stop their influence.

That explains why republicans must resort to all kinds of negative attacks and dirty tricks. There’s no power in negativity because there’s no Source of that. Just as there’s no Source of evil. Evil and negativity come from squeezing off the flow of pure positivity we all are. When a person does that, they first feel negative emotion. That’s what emotions are for: to help us navigate vibrational reality. And all physical reality is vibrational.

If they don’t get the emotional clue though, they’ll “manifest” evidence showing them where they’re going. They’ll experience events in reality consistent with their negative thought, belief and emotion. When they focus long on those thoughts, beliefs and emotions, thereby doubling down on them, they amplify their focus. So they experience even more evidence consistent with their focus.

It only takes one person tuned in to the power of All That Is to shape the course of history. But more than one all aligned are unstoppable.

That includes drawing to them people reflecting back to them who they’re being vibrationally. Which explains why so many people are rallying around Trump. It’s not that Trump and his legion are evil. It’s that they all resonate with one another. They resonate in a strong stream of disconnection. And almost all of them feel anger, fear, insecurity and disempowerment. No wonder they revel in the idea of retribution. Retribution is a sign one is really off track from their positive Source.

Many trans women have this going on around the belief “chasers”. Why are so many trans women meeting such men? The same reason why Trump has so many sycophants surrounding him. They tell that story repeatedly. So they experience that reality…repeatedly.

Stay out of that

And, as trans women complain about chasers, many democrats are complaining about what they don’t want too. But not to the degree republicans are. That’s partly why the shift that happened earlier this summer happened. It helps that people like me focused that shift into our experience.

Which brings me to the point of this story. We can all have everything we want. Including our choice for who sits in the White House. But to have that, we must line up with the Source from which such events unfold. If we’re wanting our presidential hopeful in the White House, but we’re predominantly focused on the “evil” of the other side, and the other side is aligning with what they want, and have a powerful, positive representation of that, we’re not going to get what we want.

So this election cycle, it’s important to push everyone else out of our equations. Let people have their opinions and ideas. Let them attack others and let’s stay out of that.

By tuning other people out of your experience and letting them have theirs everything you want happens seemingly effortlessly. Including getting the president you want.

These days, I’m pruning my social media feeds. I once thought it important to have a balanced representation of ideas in my social media. But now I get how important my focus is. And I get how important my vibration is. My vibration literally is the source of my reality-experience. I want that experience to reflect the best of what I desire. So that means focusing even more purely. Especially in the times we’re in.

Are you a match?

The real question is: what is it you want and what are you vibrating from? Do those two things match? I’m discovering that as good as my focus has been, it can get better. So I’m focusing even more on what I’m wanting, so that what I’m vibrating from and what I want are a match.

So far, I think I’m doing great. The specifics of my life, which are late-stage indicators of my vibrational focus, are constantly improving. Life is getting better and better. The same is true for my clients lives.

But most important, I feel that joy and empowerment; the early-stage indicators that I’m on track to everything I want.

Life is getting better for us all. Can you see it? Are your desires and what you’re vibrating from a match? I can say, without a doubt; hell yes!

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Why Positivity Matters So Much In Today’s World

Photo by Maria Thalassinou on Unsplash

Editor’s note: This post is duplicated from our other blog, Positively Focused, because of the importance of the subject matter: This year’s elections.

TL;DR: The author submits this petition asking that readers purposefully choose the future they’re creating rather than creating the future by default. They explain how this can happen, then encourage all readers to join them in creating the optimal outcome for all of humanity.

It’s important at this time in society’s unfolding, to hold a gentle, nonchalant even, intention about what we, as individuals, want — what we want in a society, what we want in our countries, what we want from leaders.

Maybe you’ve noticed a rising tide of nationalism and authoritarianism worldwide. A certain timing is happening in which we are subjecting ourselves to greater levels of “contrast”. People not tuned into the Positively Focused Way would call this contrast “a lot of bad shit happening”. 

And yet, all this contrast is good. It prompts us to create futures in the probable future reality-scape containing all that we want and none of what we don’t.

For such futures to become our now, however, we must line up with them. Otherwise, those ideal futures remain in the future probable reality-scape, awaiting points of consciousness that will allow it into their reality. This explains why “improvement” generally takes so long.

Why positive change takes so long

Most people can identify what they want. But they’re more practiced at knowing what they don’t want. In knowing what they don’t want, they’ll also identify what they do want, even if they’re not aware of it.

But most people will keep their attention on what they don’t want. Doing that, they draw more of that — what they don’t want –– into their experience. Then they look at the newest iteration, and amplify more that they don’t want it, which then creates even more unwanted.

In other words, by keeping their attention on what they don’t want, they align with and allow or create more of that in the probable future reality-scape, which then, because they’re aligned with that through their attention, becomes more of their current reality.

Nearly everyone does this. 

Meanwhile, a lot of “good” or “wanted” remains in nonphysical waiting for us. Usually all that “good” shows up. But often that’s long after those who put it those things in nonphysical pass away.

Deja Vu all over again. It happened in 2020…it’s happening again this year. (Photo by Maria Thalassinou on Unsplash)

One person can change the tide

Take today’s politics for example. A lot of people are focusing on what they don’t want. They don’t want senile, old Joe running, for example. Or people don’t want Trump, or any republican, as president.

The problem with focusing on those unwanted things is exactly as I said above: doing so creates probable future realities wherein those things do happen. Again, keeping attention on the unwanted outcome, those doing that put more of that in the probably future reality-scape. Continued attention increases the probability that those unwanted outcomes will become their reality. They become our reality too. Especially if we’re not purposeful in our own focus.

But it only takes one person doing it differently to change the tide. Which is why I’m offering this petition. I’m one of those people. I’m focused on allowing my desire, purposefully. I invite everyone reading this to do the same.

One of my clients who is learning what you’re reading asked what happens if two people want opposite things. Abraham answered this before. Here’s what they said:

How the universe delivers on all desires. Even those seemingly in conflict.

Everyone gets what they want…eventually

I reflected the same wisdom. Here’s what I said in that text conversation. It’s a long series so bear with that:

In essence, everyone gets what they want. But the one with the strongest positive momentum prevails in the details. And the more one aligns with that strong, fast moving energy, the more powerfully such a person becomes.

We’ve seen authoritarian forces held at bay across the world. They’re making some strides, but they cannot prevail against the positive energy at our disposal. One person is all it takes. And two, lined up together, are unstoppable. Abraham has also spoken about this:

As we enter national elections in the US, I invite my fellow Americans to align with an outcome best serving us all. That doesn’t mean Biden keeping the White House. Just because we’re presented with only two options, that doesn’t limit what’s possible. What we believe sets the limits. 

So what do you believe?

I believe anything is possible. I KNOW this. And so I intend a positive outcome in this years’ elections. One in which progressives keep the seat.

Post script

Hours after writing the first draft of this post, Joe Biden, while infected with COVID, dropped out of the race. He’s endorsed Kamala Harris. The Universe acts in ways mysterious only to those who don’t understand how it works. I know how it works, so it’s not mysterious at all.

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MORE Results That The World Is Better For Trans People

Bailey Anne Kennedy and her husband both at their wedding (Instagram)

TLDR: The author, who is transamorous, argues once again that the world is improving for transgender people and those who love them. They point to the Miss Maryland USA Pageant Coronation, which happened this month, as evidence supporting their argument. They then conclude by suggesting transgender lives will improve even more when trans people and those who love them adopt optimism and positivity.

The evidence is overwhelming, if you know where to look.

What evidence do I refer to? Evidence proving the world is getting better for transgender people. This time, evidence comes from the stage of a major US tradition: The Miss USA pageant.

Once again, a transgender woman competes in and wins a major pageant title. This time, it’s Maryland. Bailey Anne Kennedy, an Asian-American trans woman, walked down the stage and received her crown for becoming Miss Maryland 2024 this month. Her win represents a number of firsts.

According to news reports, this was her first pageant ever. It’s also the first time in the state that a trans woman won the title. It’s also the first time a woman over 28 won. Kennedy is 31. She’s also the first married woman to compete and win. Kennedy will next go on to compete in the Miss USA pageant in August.

What’s really astonishing about this wonderful milestone is it comes on the heels of another wonderful piece of news we shared back in August last year. Back then we shared news that a wealthy trans woman purchased several beauty pageants around the world. After taking ownership, she changed participant requirements in order to broaden the field of competitors. One of those pageants she owns is Miss USA.

So who is the new Miss Maryland USA? Let’s take a closer look.

Who is Bailey Anne Kennedy?

Kennedy is Cambodian American. She’s a military spouse, whose husband, according to her Instagram, is a Captain in the United States Marine Corps. He graduated both from tanker school and flight school, again, according to Kennedy’s Instagram. That’s two impressive accomplishments. It appears that Kennedy may work or volunteer at the USO as well, which may have been how she met her husband.

Kennedy, who is 31, broke several barriers in her pursuit of the Maryland title. First, her status as a trans woman, obviously. But that’s not a first. Well, it is for Maryland. But several trans women have won similar titles elsewhere.

She follows Marina Machete, who was the first trans woman to win the Miss Portugal title, Rikke Valerie Kolle, who won Miss Netherlands, Kataluna Enriquez became the first trans woman crowned Miss Nevada In 2021, and In 2018, a trans woman, Angela Ponce, competed for Spain in the Miss Universe pageant.

Why this is big

The reason this is big is because these competitions are judged by ordinary people from relevant industries.

Judges in 2022, for example, included Ashlee Clarke, an American businesswoman and producer, Soo Yeon Lee, a South Korean table tennis player and model, Kirk Myers an American fitness trainer, Olivia Ponton, an American model and social media influencer, Aaron Potts, an American fashion designer and Nicole Williams-English a Canadian fashion designer and model.

So trans women competing against and winning over cisgender women shows, to me anyway, growing acceptance that transgender women are women.

Additionally, a Miss USA title is just fluff. Winners travel the world as ambassadors. They promote charitable causes of their choosing. They also enjoy nearly unlimited opportunities as models and spokeswomen. All this means VISIBILITY. And visibility is a powerful social change agent.

So there’s a growing roster of trans women competing and winning in beauty pageants and those women are becoming more visible in the world. That’s a great thing.

Back to Kennedy

And even though trans women are making significant inroads here, Kennedy is more than that. As we said, she is the first woman to win a pageant title at her age (31) after pageant officials open the competition to anyone over 18. Before this change, only women under 28 could compete. Oh, she’s also married, which is another pageant first. That she’s married to an American military officer is another first.

Kennedy has high aspirations since winning. She wants to role model opportunity for other women and girls, trans women particularly, and advocate for veterans, which makes sense given that her husband is a Jarhead and she appears to work or volunteer for the USO.

Kennedy her husband and their dogs (Instagram)

It’s happening and it’s all good

At least one news report included in their coverage a rolling tally of the number of trans women still facing violence and discrimination. We’re not going to do that here at The Transamorous Network. Instead, we want to focus on all the awesome evidence proving the world is improving for trans people.

Yeah, there’s some fear and insecurity causing people to act out against these wonderful people. But that’s not the majority of people, as we reported earlier. And while there are lots of people focused on what needs improvement, we take a different approach.

We know the more we focus on the positive, the more positively the world looks to us. We encourage trans women and those who love them to do the same. Because when we all do, our lives get better. And honestly, we can’t help anyone when our life sucks.

So let’s focus on the positive and celebrate yet another awesome milestone. A milestone proving once again that the world is getting better for trans people.

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No, Sexual Abuse Doesn’t Create Trans-Attracted People

Photo by Susan Wilkinson on Unsplash

TL;DR: The author shares a commenter expressing dismay about how trans attraction is depicted in the Netflix series “Baby Reindeer”. The author then uses that comment to show how the trope that trans-attracted people are sexual abuse victims represents shallow thinking on the part of those expressing such views.

Back in May I gushed about the Netflix Limited Series “Baby Reindeer”. My focus, obviously, wasn’t on the main plot, but the sub plot; that being the main character “Donny’s” trans-attraction. I gushed about it because I thought the entire series did a great job describing how shame and self-loathing can create a truly, sucky life.

Which is exactly what Donny lived.

While writing that series of posts, I received an interesting comment from a trans-attracted guy. The comment made a point I hadn’t considered. I hadn’t considered it because I don’t believe the point the writer made about trans attraction or about the show. So the point went right over my head.

I’m glad then, that the commenter made the point. It’s worth taking a closer look at it.

So let’s take a look at what he wrote, then unpack what he’s saying.

The comment

Reading between the lines of his comment, it’s clear the writer isn’t ashamed of his trans attraction. Not only that, it seems he’s out about it. That’s great. So here’s what he had to say. I’ve added some clarifications [in brackets] for reasons that will be obvious:

I was baffled at first that people kept asking me if I’d seen Baby Reindeer – I’ve never seen *any* must-see TV shows. Then I realised there was this cis-trans relationship subplot. People I know wanted to know how I felt about that because they know of my own orientation and dating experience…

I thought [transgender actress] Nava Mau’s performance was fantastic and [her character] “Teri” was probably the only likable and relatable person in the show tbh. But I did feel that the show let her down in plot terms. No exposition at all for *why* the main character decided to go on a trans dating site. In an ideal world, sure, it would be unremarkable, but in the real world, it’s obviously not something everyone *just does*. And in that absence of explanation it felt uncomfortably like we were supposed to see it as some kind of sexual trauma response to his previous experiences as revealed in ep. 3. When, after their split, he hardly seemed to give her another thought, that seemed to reinforce that she was almost just a plot device to show him going through stages of trauma and self-questioning.

Given that it’s based on a true story, of course, that may just be a reflection of this individual’s reality. And yes, that reality may reflect a wider reality of a lot of cis man/trans woman relationships. But I guess I’m just disappointed that the plotline in that regard always seems to be one of trauma, hangups, internalised shame, etc. That’s not at all my experience in my own relationship, and I’d like for once to see that portrayed!

So as representation goes, yes, Teri was a triumph, but as a portrayal of a relationship between a trans woman and a trans-attracted man I felt it was a lot less positive.

Shallow thinking creates condemnation

I really like this guy’s perspective. And, he’s right. I believe a trend exists in the minds of people that trans attraction is a response to some unsavory past. Often, that past includes sexual “trauma”. And while that may be true for some, I don’t think that’s true for the majority of trans-attracted men.

The commenter, clearly, hasn’t had that experience. As well, most of the men I’ve worked with also don’t have sexual “trauma” they’re responding to. Many of them did experience an event which surfaced what may have previously been unconscious orientation behavior. But sexual abuse “trauma” doesn’t create trans attraction in people.

Take me, for example. I didn’t realize my trans-attraction until a girlfriend in Japan took me to a bar that featured trans go-go dancers. That doesn’t qualify as sexual trauma or abuse. But it did open my eyes to an aspect of who I was.

One could say the trope that trans-attracted men trans attracted because of past sexual abuse parallels the idea that trans women are just “men in a dress”. Like the latter, the former offers no introspection or analysis. Nor does it reveal any effort on the part of the speaker to understand trans attraction, nor the men (and women) who orient that way sexually. Such comments don’t point to a truth. They just represent shallow thinking on the part of the person expressing them.

Which is why they’re worthy of us ignoring them.

Another trope needing examination

Trans-attraction is just as valid as any other sexual orientation. For transgender people, it is an important orientation. That’s because such people represent perfect matches for trans people. And because of that, trans people can find love they desire.

I’ve written before about how every sock finds its shoe. The way the Universe works, no aspect of being goes unmatched. There always exists someone to match someone who wants to match with someone.

Now, some people do exist for which no match exists. Such people eventually discover they are happier without relationships. I’ve known women who, after dating men and women, for example, discover their best relationship is with themselves.

That’s a great realization to come to. But it often comes after trial and error. Because all of us are conditioned so strongly to have a relationship. Otherwise something is wrong with us. And that’s another expression that’s gone without much examination.

A lot more happiness would exist if people didn’t try fitting themselves into the box the peanut gallery prescribes. That goes for trans people, trans-attracted people and everyone else.

Stories DO create reality though

All that said, I did have a client who believed part of his experience in desiring trans women came from what HE considered to be sexual trauma involving a relative. After looking at what happened over several months, however, we discovered a couple things about that experience. One, such sexual experimentation between relatives is very common. It’s not sexual abuse. And two, his role in it was far less offensive than he was making it.

In other words, his stories about what happened shaped his judgments about what happened. They also shaped his self-judgement. A self-judgement so harsh he contemplated suicide many times.

These days, however, this client is becoming more and more free of his negative stories. As a result he’s finding himself more comfortable accepting who he is, what he likes, and what happened in the past.

And that’s the point of all of this. Our stories create our realities. That’s why it’s so important looking at the stories we have. Looking at them we change those that create experiences we don’t like. Every experience we don’t like comes as a result of beliefs we hold. That means any experience we don’t like we have the power to change.

I think Donny, the main character in Baby Reindeer showed us this. By changing his stories he came to embrace who he was. The result not only transformed his life, it also produced a sensational hit streaming show.

Read my series on that show here: Post one, post two, three and four.

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Why People Are Better Off Avoiding Being Vulnerable

Photo by Hasan Almasi on Unsplash

TL:DR: The author asserts that vulnerability isn’t key to relationships as many mental health and relationship experts claim. Rather, it’s actually a problem, the author says, especially for trans and trans-attracted people. They then explain why it’s better to focus on one’s thoughts and beliefs in order to create better relationships. In doing so, people get everything they want: better relationships and freedom from fear that comes with trying to be vulnerable.

Vulnerability. Mental health and relationship “experts” claim it’s something special. They say it’s something we all should practice in order to thrive in relationship. But trans and trans-attracted people know being vulnerable is hard, scary and not very fun. After all, who wants to be seen as something other than what the mainstream tells is us ok?

Indeed the very act of being trans or trans-attracted demands a level of vulnerability most people needn’t face. It can literally be a life or death decision. But is vulnerability really the key to happiness, relationship success and more? Or is something afoot here that can disempower trans and trans-attracted people?

In this post, let’s explore why vulnerability is a myth and how dispelling the myth can help us live more joyfully. Along the way we may just also discover the key to everything else we want.

Why experts vaunt vulnerability

Vulnerability is both feared and praised. We fear it because it implies possible rejection. As said before, it also can lead to terrifying consequences. Then again, society praises it because we’re told to. Being vulnerable can also feel good because we’re putting ourselves out there honestly. And doing that can feel good. For most though, it’s usually terrifying. So much so, people won’t do it. Especially trans and trans-attracted people. Which explains why so many trans women want to pass and trans-attracted men live on the DL.

But what is “vulnerability” exactly? The definition doesn’t seem to imply something praise-worthy:

So it would seem, based on the definition, that being vulnerable is a bad thing. So why do experts vaunt it so much? One source suggests being susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm, increases intimacy and trust. Not being vulnerable, it says, can lead to emotional distance, disconnection and resentment.

It would seem being vulnerable then is essential to good relationships. But is that really the case?

Rejection inherent in vulnerability

The trouble with saying it improves relationships is that being vulnerable usually requires a quid-pro-quo situation. I would suggest everyone would be vulnerable in a relationship….if their partner were equally vulnerable. That’s the trouble. No one really wants to subject themselves to physical or emotional attack. It seems extremely logical to me, then, that no one wants to be vulnerable in a relationship either. Which explains why people aren’t.

But there’s something about this vulnerability thing that runs afoul of what’s really happening in physical reality. It’s that being vulnerable is based on something that isn’t happening in reality at all. Well, it IS happening. But only because people believe it’s happening. And that belief is what perpetuates fear associated with being vulnerable.

In other words, the potential consequences of vulnerability is what keeps people from being vulnerable in the first place. Replace the word “vulnerable” with a different word, however, and the whole calculus changes.

What word do we suggest? How about authenticity.

That’s right. If instead of thinking about being vulnerable, we think of being authentic, then we go a long way to easing fear that comes with being vulnerable. The problem remains however, with the essence of what both words conjure: the risk of being harmed. And in most relationship cases, that “harm” looks like “rejection.” Although for trans people and some trans-attracted men, it can be much more than that.

Still, let’s unpack this some more.

Our thoughts make it so

In order to be vulnerable, a condition must first exist. That condition is risk. In other words, the person considering being vulnerable or authentic must first believe there is something they may be rejected over. Rejection can feel bad, but a reframing of the story we tell when “rejection” is experienced can cause that bad feeling to turn into appreciation.

What if, for example, someone rejects us because we share something intimate about us? Does that mean anything? What does it mean about us? It means nothing really. We shared authentically. That person chose something else. In this situation, both parties are better off. We’re free to connect with someone who accepts us. The other party is free now to connect with someone they connect with.

Where’s the harm in that? But when we think the rejection means something about us, then we feel bad.

Now trans and trans-attracted people face a much more complicated situation. Especially trans people. That’s because they have other – legitimate – fears of actual physical harm. Those fears must also be resolved. Those fears come from valid beliefs for sure. But replacing those beliefs with other equally valid ones can be liberating.

We can see, then, it’s what we think about being vulnerable that makes it scary. We think being that way brings risk. The belief isn’t false. But better feeling beliefs aren’t either. And those better feeling beliefs can change our experience.

Our thoughts make everything. Including the need to be, and the fear of being, vulnerable.

Preferring rejection

Being vulnerable means having to take a risk. Hardly anyone wants to take risks. But if there is no risk in being authentic, if instead there’s everything to gain, I would say many more people would be that way.

Again, the problem is the thoughts people have about rejection and what they think that means.

Vulnerability then, isn’t the problem. Making it into a venerated way of being is. Because doing so makes it seem doing something we’re scared to do is something worth doing. It’s not. Instead, it’s better to develop a new set of beliefs around being so that acting authentic is preferable to not acting that way.

That’s easy to do. And it’s not scary. When we do it, the vaunted idea of being vulnerable becomes meaningless. And when that happens, we’re free; free to be who we are. Whether people take that or leave that is up to them. It’s not our problem.

So there’s nothing special about being vulnerable. And, with a little tweaking of our thoughts, we can eliminate that concept from our minds, thereby freeing us to be. Now let’s turn up the woo a bit and see what we find.

Some would rather have this happen than be vulnerable. But there’s a better approach to vulnerability. (Photo by Hasan Almasi on Unsplash)

Finding power in changed belief

Believing vulnerability is a thing presupposes there’s something that can happen to us that’s beyond our control. Usually, that something is bad. For trans people, that includes violence.

But, nothing can happen to us that is beyond our control. We invite everything that happens to us through our thoughts and beliefs. I get that’s hard for a trans person, for many people, actually, to believe. But that doesn’t make the assertion false.

If it’s true, we can see how vulnerability would be a problem. That’s because it presupposes risk. Belief that there’s risk is a belief. That belief will create reality consistent with it. That explains why so many fear being vulnerable. And rightly so. It also explains why it feels scary.

Rejection is similar. There are many thoughts and beliefs around “rejection”. Those thoughts and beliefs, like those behind “vulnerability”, create reality consistent with them. That’s why hardly anyone wants to feel rejected.

Change those beliefs though and the experience changes. This explains why very successful sales people, for example, don’t experience “no” as rejection. They think different thoughts and beliefs around the word “no”. This also proves it’s possible to change our beliefs around things like “vulnerability” and “rejection”. Doing so makes one much more powerful.

Beliefs matter…a lot

So if we invite our experience through our thoughts and beliefs about them, that means something important. It means that being vulnerable isn’t the key to anything. Instead, our thoughts and beliefs are. Indeed, thoughts and beliefs are everything. They literally create the world around us.

The better beliefs we hold, the better our life gets. My clients are discovering this. The more they change their beliefs to positive, empowering ones, the better their lives get. My experience is similar. The more I’ve changed how I think and what I believe, the more my life has improved. So much so, hardly anything “bad” happens to me. And those “bad” things that do happen are so insignificant, I don’t consider them “bad”. They just are.

In a short while, a person can create an ideal life, what I call the Charmed Life. This is true for relationships too. We don’t need to experience risk in relationship. But getting there requires something: not being vulnerable. Being vulnerable is a problem. Instead, what’s needed is a new way of thinking and believing. One that invites only good. Including good relationships, ones matching what we’re wanting.

For trans and trans-attracted people such outcomes don’t come over night. A lot of old disempowering beliefs must first be soothed before evidence of improvement really starts showing itself.

But the more true we are to who we are, the better realities we create, including relationships. So changing our beliefs is worth it. It literally will provide us everything we want.