Tag: Transgender

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All Hail Penelope

 

 

Editor’s note: I wrote this two years ago. But it’s still a relevant story.

 

This is Penelope. Penelope is a boy. He’s transgender. He’s awesome.

When I got clear about my romantic and sexual attraction to transgender women, I came to an additional clarity about what transgender people are. Given how many transwomen desire to be seen as close to cisgender women as possible, I’ve tended to hold my own opinions of what transgender people are to myself, or at least shared with only a few.

Penelope has more balls than I do. And he’s eight.

Transgender people represent a natural extension of humanity. Transwomen for me aren’t cis-women. They never will be. That’s a good thing. The natural extension of humanity as I see transwomen was perfectly expressed in a response Penelope gave to his mother’s question, which was described by his mother in an online article

“How does it feet to be a boy with a vagina?” He replied, “Well, mom, I’m human, so it just feels normal.”

While some trans and even other members of the LGBTQI community have a hard time of it, I’m convinced transpeople have always represented a leading edge aspect of humanity, an extension that doesn’t require conforming one’s body to established societal norms. Some women have penises. Some men have vaginas. Get over it.

I get some transgender women want to be seen as “women”. That’s fine with me.

I find myself most resonating with transwomen who have little or no interest in that defining operation. Call it my preference, but there’s something deeper about that. Penelope’s mother puts it beautifully:

“Is it our job to facilitate body alterations? Or to help move the conversation more towards self-acceptance? Does having a beard make one a man? Will having a stronger jawline validate Penelope? Or is it our responsibility to keep reminding ourselves that we all have the right to simply “be” in the form that we were made?”

I agree with his mother. I love the idea of this expression of humanity emerging in public consciousness and becoming accepted as they are. To do that, humanity has a lot of growing up to do. But that growth isn’t my problem.

Or Penelope’s.

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Tranny Chaser….really?

What is it about transwomen who rail against the tranny chaser. To me, it’s hypocritical. I mean, how does it feel, transgender women, when someone calls you “sir” on the street or in a store? Nevermind, I know how it feels, because my trans friends have told me.

We’re going to repeat this over and over: the men you shame by calling them names are going through a transition similar to your own.  Just as you likely had to come to grips with your own identity, these men – YOUR ALLIES – are going through a transformation too.

A transformation that, for many, still has them in the closet.

Remember when you used to try on clothes in the dark or in the privacy of your room, hidden from other people’s eyes? Remember when you used to hide or explain away remnants of nail polish on your fingers? In the same way, early stage transamorous men are going through similar stages when they experiment with you. They are testing the waters. And frankly those men have made it pretty far: at least they’re at the point of interacting with the person they desire.

Sure there may be boys out there who seek a fling, but it’s much more likely, everyone who expresses interest in you is doing so because they are interested at one level or another and that interest would build if society wasn’t constantly trying to stamp it out. “Society” includes you.

Your allies, the trans-attracted men out there, need your help as much as you need theirs…and yes, you do need them because – and you really need to get this: any man who is interested in you is transamorous by definition. That means in the course of trying to accept who they are they eventually help create a society that accepts who you are.

So help them out. Consider being more compassionate to their transition. Here are some tips to handling it lovely ladies:

  • Offer to talk about it straight up. Don’t sweep your feelings or the guy’s feelings under the carpet. If you see him acting nervous, stop taking it personal* and realize his nervousness is ABOUT HIM. Not you.
  • Ask him about it, ask him what he’s feeling. Have a serious conversation about it without making him wrong or shaming him. Control your knee-jerk reaction to play the victim role.
  • Listen to what he says, then express some empathy. Tell him a story about your own transition. It shows him you get what he’s going through.
  • Ask him if he can identify the thought that has him feeling this way. Ask him if he can think of other thoughts that could trigger other emotional responses other than nervousness, apprehension, fear or shame.
  • If you simply can’t deal with your own emotional reaction to someone who MATCHES YOUR STORY and is behaving in a way that triggers you, then it’s better than you figure your own securities (your stories) out first. For you’re not doing anyone any favors creating drama. You’re especially not helping yourself.

Your freedom as a transgender woman is fortified when you can accept that the men who are interested in you are just as deserving of respect for their transition as you are of yours. There are no tranny chasers. There are only men who are interested – often romantically – in people like you.

*Need some help with that? Contact me.

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The first Transgender District

Of course, it’s in San Francisco

This is a long time coming for the US. But I wonder if places overseas have been there done that…

The article linked above says proposed legislation in the Bay City, if passed, will create the first “government-sanctioned” transgender district in the world. Whether it’s history making or not, it’s a significant move forward. Leaders of this initiative hope this move will begin a push across the country by municipalities to protect transgender people, their communities and preserve their history.

Very nice.

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Proof is here!

Several weeks ago I mentioned – kind of as a funny prognostication – that there would be more transgender actors gracing all the stages: big screen, tv, online, etc.

Well, holy-moly, I’ve been proven right! Lol.

It seems more and more trans and other LGBT people are actually getting acting roles as media increasingly recognizes not only these people as real, valid members of the human race, but also as talented actors.

It’s so cool to see Laverne Cox rocking her own show, but there’s even a gender fluid person on one of my favorite shows Billions. 

So cool. <drops mike>

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The pleasure that is Sarah McBride

SaraMcBridepromo We recently had Sarah McBride on our The Transamorous Network Video Channel. It was a great interview spanning two twenty minute shows.

Sarah, as you may know, is a major rising celebrity in the world. Not just in the transgender community, Sarah is making a name for herself on the political stage…literally, as she was the first transperson to grace the stage of a major political convention.

We talked with Sarah about intimacy, love, romance, what it’s like living one’s dreams and how others can actualize their dreams into their reality. But what was most interesting was our conversation about her brief but pre-destined relationship with her late husband. In that portion of our show, she waxed poetically about relationships and how profound and full of grace they can be.

Some quotes from our interview:

“Relationships can be the most profound expression of Grace in this world”

Her husband was fortunate to have been “Patient enough with me to give me the space,” which lead to them becoming a couple.

“The fact that we were the right people for each other and our paths were synchronized…is true!”

Tune in to both parts of the show. You’ll get a lot out of hearing what Sarah has to say. We sure did!