Tag: Transgender

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Online dating by any other name still sucks

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Online dating: for most of us it doesn’t work. Especially for trans-attracted guys, you’re going to have a hard time online. (Photo by Thomas Lefebvre)

A few weeks back, a new dating website for transgender people launched. It was meant to combat discrimination transgender people experience in online dating and dating apps such as Tinder. This new one was heralded as the place for transgender people to meet online.

Its release was timely. Especially with the demise of Craigslist personals. Business killed off the free (and scuzzy) hook-up section of Craigslist; the organization was potentially at great risk of violating new anti-human trafficking laws. So this new site promised to offer what Craigslist no longer could, what Tinder refused to and what other sites have struggled to provide: a level playing field for transgender people to find relationship.

Whatever form that relationship takes.

“Life has been so hard for trans people because they have to overcome the social stigma of being transgender. When it comes to dating, it’s even harder for them. They need a comfortable place to meet and date with other trans people without judgement. So we created Transdr – a Tinder alternative for the trans community.”

So said Sean Kennedy, the co-founder of Transdr, this new app promising a safe place for transgender people to do whatever they look for in online dating. One look at the site and the problems with Transdr are GLARINGLY obvious. A for intent. F for execution.

But we don’t care about their intent or execution. While online dating has proven successful for some, it presents so much frustration for many other people.

According to online dating literature, dating services can’t really improve relationship outcomes. On dating sites like Match.com, which allow users to make their own dating decisions, daters have difficulty meeting the right partners. Studies show that they are unable to make successful selections: more often than not, you’re just as likely to be successful in real life as you are online.

But there’s another way. An easier way. A more fun way. We talk about that way all day long her on The Transamorous Network. It’s actually the ONLY way people meet anyway, whether they are online or not. But that’s another story.

A former online dating user wrote us recently. We think he accurately describes experiences people (mostly men) have with online dating:

“…the only ones who win online are the websites with bogus profiles. The websites who take a unique part of society and spin it for their financial benefit and it simply pisses me off. After many years I certainly know who I am attracted to and who I wish to spend time with, knowing that there is some parasite out there focused on ripping me with many others off simply tightens the jaw….I am merely fed up with being ripped off. Thanks for your viewpoint on life for me will get better one way or the other.”

Do you feel like this guy? Wanna be different? Better do something different. We offer a different approach at The Transamorous Network. One that works. Guaranteed.

 

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A documentary worth watching

449ec9f1-a031-43d1-8d8d-4ca2ec98f506_c0-7-1200-560_r1300x600Katie Couric and producers at National Geographic nailed probably the best presentation on the transgender “movement” and the broader gender awakening in the United States while blending in salient perspectives from around the world.

Gender Revolution is a National Geographic documentary which explores how the gender binary is falling way in the wake of generations of human beings who defy this “norm”.

If you’re trans-attracted or transamorous – even if you are aware or think you are aware of the issues and subtle nuances of what’s happening around you – this documentary is definitely worth watching.

The show examines multiple perspectives of the movement: the nomenclature, characters, political changes underway, their impact on human lives and more. It personalizes what it means to be queer, making it clear to those who don’t understand what is happening that what is happening is real, is serious and needs their attention. If anyone you know is struggling to understand what is happening in the field of gender expression. This documentary does a good job as a general overview.

Some salient points:

  • There are distinct differences between the brains of heterosexual, homosexual and transgender people, so arguing that genitals are determinate of gender (anyone with a penis is a boy) is proven false. This is not the only evidence the documentary offers that refutes such arguments.
  • More than anything, the best measure of one’s gender is how a person feels. Consistently through the show, including in several scientific studies, it is shown that the majority of people who feel they are trans (or anything else other than the binary “norm”) rarely change their view, even after quite invasive medical procedures.
  • Many of these people are willing to die for how they feel. Indeed, one transwoman, who also happens to be an orthopedic surgeon, is 80 years old and still intends to have her “bottom surgery.” Another transwoman, also senior in years, is also a surgeon and known as one of the foremost experts in the surgery, performing nearly 130 each year. Clearly, something more than “mental illness” is at work here.
  • Gender is who you go to bed as. Orientation is who you go to be with.
  • It is possible for a man to have a vagina and a woman to have a penis. Again, anatomy does not determine gender, sex, or orientation. Intersex individuals are the best example of how sexual organs do not determine the sex of an individual.
  • There are nations, cultures and peoples who have not only accepted, but fully honor people outside the gender binary as not only something distinct from “male” or “female” but also worthy of appreciation. These nations, cultures and peoples have held these cultural norms for very long time periods. This must mean therefore that people falling into these categories also have always been around and also must be normal.

Another seemingly obvious conclusion to draw from all this is that men who are attracted to these people – particularly transpeople for our purposes – are as normal as the people they are attracted to. It’s also a safe conclusion to make that these men (men like you and me) have been around for as long as our objects of affection have been.

So what is there to be shamed about? There is so much evidence in the world that you are normal and healthy. But that evidence is invisible to you if you are steeped in stories of shame and embarrassment. Change your beliefs and discover an entire world that supports you as you are. You’ll be glad you did.

National Geographic’s Gender Revolution can be seen on Netflix.

 

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Your state of Grace: your secret weapon

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It doesn’t matter how old you are.

It doesn’t matter how ugly you think you are.

It doesn’t matter how fat or skinny you are.

Your height doesn’t matter either.

Nor your income.

Or your employment status.

Nor whether you have a car or house.

It doesn’t even matter if you’re single or not.

If you’re looking for a partner, you can have him or her, or they or them. The only thing that matters, the only thing that ever matters, is how well you are connected to and realizing your state of Grace.

What is Grace? That can be interpreted many ways. To us it means you are in a constant situation where everything you are wanting is being delivered to you no matter what you’re doing, being or wanting. Whether you know it or not, this state of Grace is always there, always shining down on you, always giving you cues on where to go and when so you can experience endless countless delights along your way to the end of this life experience and the beginning of the next, and the next, and the next.

As I write this, I am basking in my own state of Grace and the results of being in that place. For example, I woke this morning and received the impulse to go to this particular coffee shop. Being tuned into my intuition, I heeded that direction. Less than 20 minutes being there, this guy sat across from me. We struck up and had a wonderful conversation about life and life experience. I was thinking he might be a potential candidate for one of my businesses, but didn’t press the issue.

Later, after the wonderful conversation and while I’m writing this blog post, I got the following text:

Maybe we conduct business and good friendship in the future…you have a great attitude to have towards life Perry. I need to be surrounded by more people with your attitude and outlook to help build more success for myself and others.

So in the land of “making it happen” YOU have to arrange all the details and hope for the best. From where we offer our suggestions, you aren’t in charge of the details. Your job is to enjoy your life experience while the Grace you are endowed with orchestrates the details for you, including that person you’re wanting in your life.

“So where’s my partner then?” you may ask.

Good question. As I wrote above that person is cued up for you. But if you’re not meeting that person, it’s because of only one reason: You aren’t letting the Grace in. Wouldn’t you like to know how you’re not letting it in so that you can change that? Thankfully, I’m going to tell you. 🙂

If you’re angry, depressed, resisting who you are or some part of who you are, unhappy with who you are, unhappy with where you are, unhappy with what is happening to you, unhappy with what happened to you…in other words, if you’re at all dissatisfied with life, feeling negative about anything about your life, you are resisting the grace that is yours.

And because of that, you are literally impeding the flow of that which you are receiving. So the obvious thing to do is ease your resistance about life. No matter how slight that resistance might be.

How do you do that? By telling positive stories about everything about your life. That’s right you have to get pollyanna about your life! And in a short while, you’ll find, like all of our clients have, that your life begins to shape itself into the pollyanna vision you have for it. Just like it has shaped itself into the vision of what you currently have been envisioning up to now.

So, your partner is there and that person is an equal match to your desires. The question really is: Are you?

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Science catching up with the transgender conscience

 

This has always been the case – always – that science ends up confirming what we intuitively know. People who believe religiously in science often point to early civilizations as examples where science has helped humanity. These people point to these early civilizations’ beliefs that the world was flat, or that the sun went about the Earth as examples of these “backwards” beliefs.

But what these people don’t recognize is the process by which these civilizations came to that distorted understanding. For before those erroneous conclusions, civilizations had massive and complete understanding of the universe’s workings. Interestingly, at the same time, some civilizations which held these distorted beliefs, also had fantastic grasp on things like astronomy, and other topics that could be classified among the natural sciences.

But I digress.

Interestingly, those who most stridently deny “trans-ness” tend to point to “science” and it’s “facts” to support their denial.

Well, in the last few months, science is confirming what members of the transgender community – including trans attracted men who have come to grips with their trans attraction – have known for some time: That transgender people are NOT simply choosing to be trans.

This first study, shared in our IN YOUR FACE (see the video above) show back in March, reveals that transgender women’s brain structure features characteristics distinctly different from both male brains and female brains. From the Online News site Medical Daily:

[R]esearchers from the Medical School of the University of São Paulo, Brazil, decided to investigate this by recruiting 80 participants between the ages of 18 and 49 years. They were categorized into four groups of 20 members each: cisgender women, cisgender men, transgender women who had never used hormones, and transgender women who had used hormones for at least a year. MRI scans were then used to look for differences in gray and white matter volume of the brains.

It was revealed that both groups of transgender women had variations in the volume of the insula in both hemispheres. The insula is a region of the brain that reads the physiological state of the body, thus being responsible for body image and self-awareness.

“It would be simplistic to make a direct link with transgender, but the detection of a difference in the insula is relevant since trans people have many issues relating to their perception of their own body because they don’t identify with the sex assigned at birth,” said Professor Geraldo Busatto, a researcher in the study. In addition to the internal struggle, he adds a reminder that transgender individuals may end up suffering discrimination and persecution.

Several medical news sites picked up the study. We’re eager to see the study repeated in the US, but for now, the tide of medical research and other scientific approaches to confirming or understanding “reality”. In the meantime, we’re happy to see science beginning to get it right.

MRI screen shots
The cross-section in image “a” shows the left-hemisphere insula, which has a reduced volume in transgender women who have never taken hormones compared with the volume in cisgender women; the same can be seen in the right-hemisphere insula (R). Image “b” shows the reduced volume of the left insula in hormone-treated women compared with cisgender women, and again, the same can be seen in the right insula ®. (Source: https://www.biosciencetechnology.com/news/2018/03/brain-structure-transgender-people-investigated-study_

We here at The Transamorous Network have a broader perspective on transgender people, a perspective agreed with by most indigenous/aboriginal cultures. That is that trans people are a separate type of human being. Separate from “male” and “female”. This separate type represents an “exalted” state of human consciousness, one worthy of respect and honor. It’s no surprise that these indigenous/aboriginal cultures not only honored transgender people, but they also revered them for their closer station to the divine.

We know that will likely piss some readers off. We wonder if those who resist our perspective have swallowed the gender binary indoctrination trope, causing them to want to be seen as “male” (for trans men) or “female” (for trans women), when, in fact, they are neither. But in their “neither” they are something “better”.

The future is surfacing more evidence that those who resist the “transgender phenomena” are pushing against the very future from which the evidence comes. That has historically proven to be a losing proposition. That means, transgender acceptance is a done deal. Everything points to that outcome, including the strenuous arguments of those whose worldview is threatened by transgender people and people who are attracted to them.

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MEN: YOU GOTTA LEARN THAT YOU DON’T KNOW IT ALL

Men. Your ego and your brain think they know how to connect you with the transgender woman of your dreams. And when you rely on them, you feel frustration and struggle because your ego and your brain have no idea how to answer the critical questions that make that happen:

Who is she?
Where is she?
How will I meet her?
When will I meet her?

So whenever you start thinking about that ideal trans woman you want, usually you feel frustrated or doubtful. That’s because in the absence of meeting her, you immediately think about the “how”, the “when” and the “where”. Then you start taking action in an attempt to figure those things out. You try online dating, bars, pride parades, etc. Instead of just letting things happen the natural way. Meaning: allowing the your Inner Being to cause a natural rendezvous between you and her.

The problem is, neither you, nor your brain, nor your ego knows the answers to the “how”, the “when” and the “where”.  And the answers (as you can tell when you read them) are exactly the answers you need to find her.

But your Inner Being knows. And the Inner Being of the woman you’re a match to knows too. Together, these to “meta yous” can work together to orchestrate a natural meet & greet. But not if you’re resisting the flow of messages your Inner Being is sending you that, if followed, will lead you to the same spot where she will be, when you’re there. Unbeknownst to you, this is exactly how everything you receive happens.

I know, you think it’s your actions, your direct doing that causes you to get what you’re wanting. But the “action” you take is the final step in a long process or orchestration. That long process is made much longer when you’re not paying attention and following your Inner Being guidance.

We went into pretty good detail on how to connect with your Inner Being in our recent IN YOUR FACE SHOW (see the video above). Listening to you Inner Being is one thing. Following the guidance in the right timing is another thing altogether. That last step is really important. The good news, all this can be learned and perfected. On the way so much evidence is given you proving the process is working. You just have to know how to recognize the clues.

Some of the most successful men have mentors, who help them become successful. The phenomenally successful follow their Inner Being, their inner voice and, over time, they become phenomenally successful. You can use that same guidance to chart your way directly to the trans woman of your dreams. Watch the show to learn more.