Dangerous Nonsense, Or Something Powerful That Works?

Photo by Matt Artz on Unsplash

TL;DR: The author recounts their spiritual journey as an explanation for why they know what they know is an accurate description of how the Universe works, while comparing their experience to the lack of experience of their critics.

Last week’s post struck a nerve among my trans readers, causing some people to block me. Others claimed I was dangerous, “a moron” and more. That’s interesting.

It’s interesting because none of these people have any experience with what I know.

One trans person wrote me a while ago. She had some solo experience with this “you create your reality” business. She even produced evidence proving it worked for her. But because she didn’t have a tutor who knew what they were doing, she missed the evidence and thus concluded the “business” doesn’t work.

At least she tried.

Everyone else, especially those who got triggered by my last post, have no idea what they’re talking about when they lambast what I know. They’re literally sharing ignorant views.

In this post, I’m going to lay out how I know what I know, how it came to be and why I’m so sure what I know is accurate.

Unless someone has done what I’ve done, they are coming at understanding the nature of the Universe fully uninformed. After reading this you’ll understand why I can say that with such certainty. And why I know, absolutely, that what I know is accurate.

Where to begin

I could start with how I came into the world. But that would make this post too long. Suffice it to say I knew something about what was happening here well before my birth. It wasn’t until after a stint in Christianity, a decade as a Buddhist scholar, and four years as an esoteric martial artist that I really came into my own. It’s at that point I’d like to begin my explanation. That’s when things really got undeniably clear something was happening that was not of this world.

All my life I dabbled in books about this “you create your reality” business. So something obviously resonated in me about this knowledge, something beyond the major religions. Two authors stood out. Eckart Tolle and a woman named Esther Hicks. Again, many others came before these two, but these two really got the ball rolling.

In one of his books, Tolle expresses a skeptic’s view of his teachings. He takes on the role of a doubter asking “what evidence do you have that this is all real?” In reply he says “you want evidence? Be the evidence you want to see.”

I took that answer to heart.

After all, I already had a feeling that physical reality was 100 percent subjective. I also knew at the time that science wasn’t telling the whole story (now I know it can’t possibly do that and for very good reasons). So I decided I would take Tolle’s advice and become the evidence I wanted to see.

It’s too bad more of my trans readers won’t take that advice. If they did, they’d find themselves far less abrasive about what they know so little about.

It started not-good-seeming

I, on the other hand, dove in. I upped my meditation game and started thinking more positive thoughts. Taking Tolle’s advice further, I focused more and more “in the now” and left the future and the past alone. My life did start improving. But not by much. Not at first.

Little did I know then, a person first starting out must clear away negative momentum born of negative beliefs before they can enjoy really obvious evidence things are turning. I should add that that clearing away process IS evidence. But most of my clients have a hard time seeing that as positive. That’s because that clearing can feel awful.

That was my experience too. I created a lot of negative manifestations, including quitting my job out of fear and losing my home. But looking back, I’m glad I traded all that for the life I’m living now. Letting those things go was more than worth it.

In my “clearing away negative momentum” stage, however, I inadvertently added more negative momentum to my path. A lot more. I chose to become an entrepreneur. That had me confronting even more negative beliefs. I blew through all my savings, and then added even more negative momentum by creating a company with the intention of “ending capitalism”.

And while that had a positive ring to it, it wasn’t aligned with my Broader Perspective knowledge about what’s happening on this planet. The more I focused on that business, the more crazy/interesting things happened. And it was right about this time that I encountered Esther Hicks.

When the student is ready…

Back then the idea that people could “channel” spirits, filled me with skepticism. But my Broader Perspective wasn’t going to let that keep me off this path. So when I took a business trip to Chico California to promote my business idea, I met a man. He was so impressed with what I was doing that he gifted me Esther’s book “Ask and It is Given”.

I knew about Law of Attraction back then, but thought it a little too woo for me. Still, I accepted the gift and when I read it, it resonated strongly. I guess I was ready for its contents.

So much so, I plunged headlong into it. It was through that book that I got introduced to Seth. That took me on a long detour. Seth’s material really resonated with me. Especially the analytical, detail-oriented part of me. I ended up reading every book Seth and their channeler, Jane Roberts wrote. The more I read, the more educated I got. And the more intrigued I got. When Seth said “you create your reality” I wanted to know how and how I could do it deliberately.

I’ve written this over and over too: When a person hears that they create their reality, if they’re not in a good place, then what they’ll hear is that phrase blaming them or making them at fault for their life. They won’t hear the empowering message contained in that phrase. IT’S AN EMPOWERING MESSAGE.

But if a person has lived a mediocre, unsatisfying or victimized life, one born of their distorted beliefs, all they’ll hear is “I’m being blamed for something I can’t control.” Little do they know it’s that belief that is the basis of the reality they’re experiencing.

My experience was different. I guess I was ready.

Drawn to the work

When I read “you create your reality”, that filled me with curiosity. That curiosity had me read every Seth book. Seth focuses on dreams, detailed explanations of the totality of All That Is, how All That Is happens and our role in all that. It’s extremely dense reading. He also focuses a lot on extreme detail of how things go from vibration to physical reality. Again, it’s heady stuff. And the fact that it’s coming from a disembodied, nonphysical being, adds more hard-to-believe-ness to it.

But Seth subtly includes instruction in his writings the reader can put to use to prove what they’re reading. When they do, the proof is near immediate. The reader must know where to look to see the proof, however. If they don’t know where to look, they’ll miss it. And Seth doesn’t say where to look.

I think that’s because of the collective unfolding represented by the continuity of information Seth and Abraham offer. Seth lays out the practical nuts and bolts, but Abraham offers broad strokes as to how those nuts and bolts assemble in to a cohesive process, culminating in direct instructions for how to deliberately create reality. Abraham’s messages are more pedestrian where Seth’s could be described as “academic”, or even “scholarly”.

A portion of my complete Seth Library

It’s no wonder I was drawn to Seth’s work first. And Seth’s work prepared me deeply to integrate what I was about to discover with Abraham’s assistance.

By the way, this is why it’s crucial explorers of this material explore with help from someone who knows what they’re doing. Not only is it hard to see evidence in the beginning, it’s really easy to get off track by coming to distorted conclusions, or having strong reactions to the teachings.

Seth: My first teacher

For example, the material offers explanations for how we each exist in our own separate reality, apart from every other being. But reality looks like that’s not true. The material also asserts that we invite every experience into our lives, including those humans might describe as tragic, even horrifying.

Reading such assertions can and usually does have people react with revulsion. Many of my clients are examples. They ask “if this is true, how can a baby invite experiencing being sexually molested? How do people create experiences where they die horrible deaths, end up homeless or addicted to drugs?”

It’s beyond the scope of this post for me to answer those questions. Suffice it to say those questions are easily answered. But as Abraham says many times “words don’t teach. Life experience teaches.” What they mean is as one moves down the path of self-discovery, their life will provide these answers in undeniable terms, not in words, but in experiences the discoverer can’t deny. And when that happens, those experiences are deeply convincing. So convincing they are, the discoverer becomes convinced. They know. Like I do.

Abraham making it plain.

Reading all of Seth’s material filled me with wonder, but it also stoked a fire within me. A lot of this I already knew. It was as though I was remembering what I forgot when I chose to come into physical reality. A powerful education was taking place. I was the student and Seth was my teacher.

And that education brought me right back to Esther and her book Ask and It is Given.

Getting ready again

But again, I faced skepticism. I wanted to believe what Esther, and Abraham, the being speaking through Esther, claimed in the book. But at the time I had a hard time getting over my resistant belief that “channeling” was fake.

Unlike many readers who spout their uninformed opinion when they read what I assert, I decided I was going to get evidence proving “channeling” was fake, or that it was real. This was part of me “being the evidence I wanted to see”.

I get most people may be too busy to take time to do what I did, but I put a high priority on all this. That’s because I knew if this stuff was true, it would mean a radically different life was available to me and I wanted that. I was open to it being real, but I also was skeptical, even as I signed up for my first Abraham seminar in San Diego, Calif.

My approach to becoming the evidence was very serious and deliberate. I wanted to give it my all, which is what I encourage clients do too. I flew to San Diego and stayed in a quiet place where I could focus. There, a day before the event, I calmed myself. I also focused on three things I wanted to know, three things I figured only Infinite Intelligence would know. Abraham refers to themselves as Infinite Intelligence. Since I was going to meet Infinite Intelligence, I probably should have some profound questions…

My first direct with Infinite Intelligence contact begins

An Abraham seminar typically happens in a large hotel meeting room. They also happen aboard cruise ships. The events are packed with rows of chairs and usually accommodate 1500 people or more. These events are always packed with no chair left empty.

Abraham seminar auditorium from the July 20, 2024 event. This is only one half of the room.

That first Abraham seminar was more than 10 years ago. I woke very early the morning of and meditated for an hour. I wanted to be in a strong vibrational focus so I could present the best possible evidence to myself.

At the event, I sat in the front row. I wanted a good view of what happened so I could see it all. As people filed in and took their seats, I didn’t notice anything special. No mystical buzzing filled the room. Only people who were excited to be there. Some even knew each other. Obviously, some of these people had been to previous events and some even traveled around groupie-style from event to event.

Honestly, I was a bit put off by all the positive energy, which I think a lot of people would be. It was very New Age feeling.

But what happened over the next four hours turned that “put off” feeling into being totally “turned on”.

The Hot Seat

During an Abraham seminar, Esther first comes onto the stage. She greets attendees from the stage and offers preliminary information about how the day will go. Event’s are typically three hours with a break or two in the middle somewhere. After that, Esther calms herself and allows Abraham to take her over, so to speak. She recedes into the background of her consciousness and Abraham moves into the foreground.

Abraham and Esther have a strong connection. It’s highly likely Abraham is part of Esther’s Broader Perspective. What I discovered through what happened over the next several years is that Abraham is part of my Broader Perspective too. But I’m getting ahead of myself…

So this seminar got under way and part way through the first half, I noticed something strange. Once it commences, Abraham looks out into the crowd and selects individuals. Those individuals come on stage and sit in what’s called the Hot Seat. It’s a chair on stage equipped with a microphone. There the person can ask Abraham anything they’d like. Abraham answers the question while also using it as a jumping off point to offer other information. Information pertinent to others in the room.

People therefore raise their hands in hopes of getting called to the Hot Seat. Of course, there’s only so many people that can sit in the Hot Seat in a three-hour period. Abraham can’t call everyone up. What I observed therefore, was even more strange.

It happened

What I observed was, each person who followed the person before them asked questions that were perfect segues from what the person before asked. I can’t recall examples, this was over a decade ago. Back then, however, I sat in amazement in that first hour. After the break, the second hour went the same. And, the people chosen in the first hour had obviously been in the Hot Seat before. Several of them mentioned it being their second and third time being called across many events.

The neat way in which Abraham called people to the state, with each person’s questions perfectly dovetailing with the previous person’s, pushed my “bullshit” button. Something was up, I thought. Now mind you, I wanted to get on stage too. So while my BS meter had gone off, the pattern seemed to heighten my desire to get on stage. But something happened in me that had me doubt being able to get up there.

Logic told me the only way this dovetailing thing could happen was if Esther had planted or preselected people invited to the stage. That’s the only thing that could explain it, at least to me. The more I watched as the day unfolded, the more skeptical I got. And the more doubtful I got that Abraham would call me. But my desire to get on stage must have overwhelmed my skepticism. And what was to unfold that is my life now crucially depended on what happened next. I know Abraham knew this. Because what happened next was a total surprise.

Abraham asked what was next. Time was running out in the seminar. I raised my hand and Abraham said, “come on up” while pointing directly at me.

Reservation for my first Abraham event in San Diego.

It begins, and begins again, and again

Abraham called me as the last person. My questions were so profound, and so personal, I understood immediately why they called me last. My questions were the perfect conclusion to the entire day.

But them calling me last also showed me my logical conclusions were all wrong. After all, there’s no way I was a plant. I didn’t even know Esther and she or a member of her team didn’t approach me. I got no pre-event questionnaire to give my questions ahead of time. No one knew what I was going to ask but me….and Abraham apparently.

Sitting in the Hot Seat, my skepticism vanished. The experience also blew away my logical conclusions. Something more was afoot here. Something deeper. I got my questions answered in the perfect way. And I left the seminar astounded.

That was just the beginning.

Over the next four years I attended one seminar each year. In the next, seminar, held in Portland where I live, Abraham called me somewhere in the middle of the day. In the following seminar, again in Portland, they called me again, this time closer to the beginning of the event. The same thing happened in the third seminar I attended. During a break, an old friend I recognized came up to me.

She asked “do you always get in the Hot Seat?”

“Apparently so,” I shrugged. I was as surprised as she was.

Each time my confidence in their teachings grew. I started listening to everything I could from them on YouTube. Their messages generally, and their personal messages to me specifically, resonated so strongly with everything I already knew, particularly from Seth.

It all affected me profoundly.

Me in the Hot Seat.

Doubling down

So much so in between these seminars I totally changed the way I lived. I had become the evidence I wanted to see by challenging myself to become that evidence. I wanted evidence and I got it. Got smacked in the kisser with it. And the more I tried living by what Abraham suggested, while also putting Seth’s guidance to practice, the better my life got and the more evidence I got.

I doubled down then on what I knew and what I was learning. I became an “Abra-hamster” as people who follow Abraham call themselves. For me, Abraham and Seth represented the pinnacle of knowledge about how the Universe works. Their collective explanations were without peer in my opinion. Again, I didn’t just accept what they said and wrote. I put it into practice. And when I did, what they said would happen happened.

Little did I know that as I doubled down Abraham and Seth were clearly paying attention to my commitment. They were pulling something together they knew would be the perfect response to my commitment, an unfolding that would solidify my knowing and complete my understanding of how the Universe works, who and what I am, and how to communicate that to others.

That which they were orchestrating started with the next Abraham seminar I attended. Nothing like it had ever happened before, according to Esther and Abraham. Never in the history of the work Esther does with Abraham had this kind of thing happened, they told me. And it happened because of what I was doing….or rather what I was being: eager to align with all that I am.

I meet my lineage and expand into my knowing

The next seminar I attended happened again in Portland. It began as they usually do, with Esther coming onto the stage and getting the event started. However, this time, when Abraham came forward, they didn’t start the event as they usually do.

Usually, they’ll speak for the first 20 minutes about some things to warm the audience up. They’ll then look out into the crowd, say something funny like, “You’re all here ready for trouble”, then pick someone to come to the Hot Seat.

This time, they didn’t do that.

They came forward through Esther and spent perhaps half the usual time prepping. While doing so, they kept looking directly at me again and again. At the first break, people I know in the audience came up to me. They noticed too that Abraham kept looking directly at me. So I wasn’t hallucinating or anything like that. The moment they finished their shortened introduction, Abraham said “Let’s begin here” and while saying that pointed straight at me.

I took my place in the Hot Seat. Typically individual Hot Seat experiences range from 10 to about 15 minutes. But this time, I sat there, the first one called, for a full 30 minutes! Again, this had never happened before. When I returned to my seat in the audience I was floating in my body. I thought back through all the seminars, all the reading I had done, the wondrous experiences I had had across all these years and knew this was a special moment.

But Abraham had just gotten started.

It gets way better

At the end of every seminar, Abraham has some closing words. Then, they recede into Esther and Esther returns to the foreground of her consciousness. She’s always ecstatic in response to the time spent in the seminar, expresses how much she loves everyone, says goodbye and heads off stage, off the side of the stage and through the background curtains.

That’s not what happened this time. This time, she said her goodbyes and instead of leaving through the background curtains, Esther, stepped down the front stairs of the stage, walked over to where I stood and ripped my name tag off my shirt. She put her hand on the back of my head and pulled my ear to her mouth. There she told me something I will not share. But suffice it to say it was ASTOUNDING.

A few days later, I got a call. It was Esther. She invited me to a personal 1:1 conversation with Abraham, which began over text message and moved to a phone call. Then, over the next 10 weeks, me, Esther and Abraham enjoyed personal sessions where I could ask anything I wanted. Abraham also taught me everything they could about how the Universe works, humanity’s role in all that, my role in all that, and about my lineage, which includes Abraham and Seth.

They then laid out how my life would go from there if I follow through with the commitment I made to myself, which, ultimately was something, according to them, I had committed to before I came into a physical body. They gave me all of this at no cost.

Recordings making up my library of 1:1 sessions with Abraham and Esther.

My direct experience

Nearly everything they told me in those 10 weeks has happened. Some things haven’t yet, but definite signs of their emergence are there. Everything can’t have happened already, because my life is still ongoing. But so much has already happened, I know the others things will too.

And this is why I know what I know, I say and write what I say and write and how I know what I say and write is 100 percent accurate. I consider Seth and Abraham not only my lineage, but part of my Broader Perspective, that part of me that continues guiding and assisting me in this life and the other lives I live as part of All That Is.

So when people call me a moron, or think I offer “dangerous nonsense”, I know they don’t know anything about what they’re talking about. When they say this stuff is pseudoscience I know they have done nothing to become the evidence.

This is why too when I ask such people “What have you done to prove it is, for example, dangerous nonsense, and under whose tutelage did you try to prove it?” I get crickets in return. Because such people are talking with no direct experience with All That Is or with Infinite Intelligence.

I have direct experience with both. And my life and my clients’ lives are unfolding accordingly. In other words, our lives are all improving. Because what I describe in my writings is exactly how the Universe works.

This explains why I say people claiming it’s dangerous nonsense, or that it’s gibberish or gobbledygook, literally have no idea what they’re talking about. Because they literally don’t.

But I do.

The Best Way To Be Awesome And A Minority

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Photo: Levi Saunders

WARNING: Contents of this story may be triggering.

In our opinion, a person can’t for long explore transness without furthering exploring race. Both topics are near-identical.

And while we prefer not to refer to ourselves in certain, socially-accepted ways, it is this socially-accepted identification which prompts our writing.

You see, before 2015 or so, we identified as a black male human being.

However, since that year, we’ve discovered some number of things which make that identification irrelevant. That is, unless, we feel the impulse to write about topics like this one.

Then that identification adds credibility.

Today, we are writing about our blackness, our maleness and our cis-ness because sharing our experience might help just one person. If it helps just one person, we consider the time investment a win.

 

Transgender is the new black

Humanity continues to expand into itself. What that means is, the potential that is humanity, is being explored by humanity. Some of what humanity discovers about itself shocks itself. That shock often causes reprehensible-seeming human behaviors.

Eventually though, everything balances. And the exploration continues merrily.

It took a while for example, for humanity to begin seeing “blacks” as worthy enough to merit rights and privileges “whites” enjoy, at least under law, if not socially and culturally. We are putting “blacks” and “whites” in quotes, simply because that distinction is a fiction. There really is no appreciable difference between a human described as “black” and one described as “white”.

Indeed all that stuff was made up specifically to divide humanity. Briefly: In the “new world” wealthy land owners created the idea of “black” and “white” to cause poor “white people” to reject their economic and human peers who happened to have darker skin. For a time in colonial America, many “blacks” and “whites” who were poor, lived closely with and felt solidarity towards each other. They slept together. Ate together. Had sex with each other. They married. They ran off together. They saw each other as comrades.

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Photo: Jose Escobar

That is, until the wealthy divided them with this made-up distinction.

Why? This multicultural group far outnumbered wealthy landowners. That was a problem. So the wealthy concocted a new belief: whiteness.

Over time poor “white people” began believing they were better than poor “black people”.

The rest is history.

And that is enough history.

· · ·

Our point is, we no longer see ourselves through many false lenses which have no relevance to who we really are. But many people still do. Even though they are fundamentally no different than we.

Most humans identify themselves by something which separates them from the rest of their kind. Hard to deny, right?

We don’t have a problem with that.

Except that while distinctions can bring people together, the “coming together” is always also an exclusion: those who are not distinctly similar become outsiders.

Comparison happens. And judgement. In judging, insecurity rises. “Judge not lest ye be judged” is a reference to that. Insecurity always fosters fear. And in that fear and insecurity one always finds external life circumstances that justify one’s fearful and insecure feelings.

Whether you’re black, trans, gay, latino an original people, or, in today’s, world a cis-het-white male, nearly everyone goes in and out of fear and insecurity.

We suggest being transgender is the new black when it comes to social justice and equal rights. That’s because transgender people experience today, socially, what blacks did in the 50s and sixties and earlier. There are differences, of course. Rarely was a black person shunned by their family, for example, the way many transgender people are.

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Photo: Ken Treloar

It’s a common, although unnatural human reaction to try to “one-up” one’s historical suffering. It’s as though humans see suffering as a badge of honor. It isn’t. So when we compare the black experience with the transgender one, we are not saying they are equal. What we’re saying is transgender and black people face many similar struggles. And in that similarity can be gained huge leverage towards positive change.

But neither can do that while standing in fear and insecurity.

For example, segments of both groups appropriate self-referential slurs and recast them as terms of empowerment.  “Nigga” is the most obvious from the black community. “Tranny” and “bitch” are similar in some parts of the transgender community. The more impoverished the subgroup, the more empowerment such appropriation seems to be. That’s been our experience.

bimo mentara patriarchy
“Blacks” taking on such identity have participated in their own oppression. Photo: bimo mentara

And, while “nigga” as a term of empowerment in the black community is well known, “tranny” and “bitch”  as similar empowering terms may not be as familiar to some transgender community members. Among transgender people of color, however, it is far more common and understood.

Of course, enormous experience diversity exists throughout both groups. And, while it may be taboo to acknowledge, it can’t be ignored that intense inter-group hatred also exists within both groups. It’s odd to us that members of an oppressed group would turn around and oppress one another. Behavior we see between in-group members sometimes rivals that which comes from those who are recognized haters of said group.

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Two transgender women attacking one another.

 

This is so consistent, one has to wonder why more transgender and black people aren’t more understanding of the people who hate them. For the same insecurity and fear transgender and black people feel in their lives, is identical to that being experienced in the minds and hearts of those who hate them, don’t understand them or who refuse to acknowledge their very real existence.

Human is human.

It doesn’t matter what triggers fear and insecurity. It is a fact some “white, cis, males and women” feel fear and insecurity when faced with both the “transgender movement” and the “black people”. It doesn’t matter why they feel frightened and insecure. The fact is, that’s what they are feeling.

And if you think about any time you felt those strong emotions, you’ll remember how difficult it was for you to think straight. Let alone open-mindedly.

If you’re triggered right now, you may be feeling that lack of ability now.

Now we’re not denying the very real power and leverage other groups have over transgender people and “black people”. Our experience with the few people we’ve worked with however tells a compelling story.

The story is corroborated by our own life experience: A belief is a powerful thing. Humans are far more than human. When an individual human does something about the beliefs they have, instead of directly confronting their life experience, their experiences faithfully reflect work done at the belief level.

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Photo: Steve Johnson

In other words, when a person examines then changes their beliefs about life rather than confronting life experience directly, their life experience begins reflecting the newly held beliefs!

This is not the case at the group level. Groups, for example, have a hard time accomplishing what we’re sharing here because individuals comprise groups and individuals are the main event, not the group. No group of people shares life experience. Each life experience is unique. So making changes of the type we’re describing at the group level is not possible.

But when an individual chooses to change their beliefs about anything, the reality of the thing that is the subject of the belief changes!

This is why we do not advocate humans joining other humans, even though that seems like the expedient method of change.

An individual human is always more powerful than millions of humans grouping together when that human becomes aware of what they are underneath their humanity and exercises that in the direction of what they are wanting.

But when a human lives in fear, insecurity and vulnerability, they have no power at all. They are literally at the mercy of their life experience. In that, it seems their world and the people in it have far more power than they do. And while they remain in fear, insecurity and vulnerability, other people do have more power. And so, it makes sense so many would want to join forces with each other, in order to even the odds.

Now more than ever

We’re not arguing against joining others in pursuit of what you want. We’re just offering perhaps a new perspective for individuals, which can make individuals more powerful.

Whether they join with others or stand alone.

 

“Black” and “transgender” are deeply disempowering

A person who identifies with an identity such that that identity disappears becoming part of their “what is”-ness, the belief and identity also diminishes who they are into a single dimension. A belief held long enough becomes “just what is.” It is no longer questioned. It is no longer thought about. It’s just there in the background. There, in the background it shapes all life experience to be consistent with it.

That’s how powerful beliefs are. They are alive and are literally the stuff of life.

When a human creates for themselves, or takes on a belief such as this, they lose their connection with their natural invincibility and instead experiences directly the disempowering nature of the belief.

When a person identifies as “black”, for example, they take upon themselves all that is conveyed by that. Both the good and the bad and all the experience lumped under that story/belief. Same with transgender identity.

racism-transphobia
Taking on labels can empower. Usually though they greatly diminish one’s real identity.

A “black” person therefore acts in cahoots with those on the other side of that belief. He or she reinforces perspectives held by “the other side” as well as those on their own side. It doesn’t matter if that “black” person is financially, materially or socially successful. They become a function of everything it “is” to be black.

Taking on the belief, they look out in life and identify with experiences of “blacks”. They look at people attacking “blacks” and identify with the vulnerability of those being attacked. Identifying with that vulnerability, they get angry. Anger is a natural response to feeling vulnerable because vulnerability is decidedly not what any human is.

But the moment that vulnerability is embraced –– and it happens in milliseconds –– life experience begins reflecting that. Held onto long enough, life experience will reflect more and more overt experiences consistent with being vulnerable.

Until the person chooses a more empowering belief.

A personal example may clarify.

· · ·

We remember when very young, after our parents’ divorce, our “mother” moved us from California to the east coast. She needed support from her family as a single black mother of three boys. We (the we that is Perry) loathed that move. Our love of California was absolute. Leaving it filled us with resentment.

Arriving in Virginia, we were immediately treated poorly by people who looked like us. Our manner of speaking, our scholastic excellence, our west coast behavior attracted attention that was stark in comparison to how people who didn’t look like us –– “white people” –– treated us in California.

Thus anger, resentment, then fear and more vulnerability fomented in us. Did the life experiences generate the feelings and beliefs? Or vice versa? To gain clarity, lets back up a bit.

In California for a time we lived in a black community. Our family experience was not the best and so we developed beliefs quite consistent with being vulnerable and fearful. Taking those beliefs outside the house, we had met people who looked like us which reinforced those beliefs. We were bullied, got into fights, were attacked by dogs, etc.

There’s a saying: every old sock meets an old shoe. It applies to beliefs and experience: every belief will draw to it a corresponding experience.

Later, we moved to an all-white community as our prosperity increased. We felt relief leaving an environment we interpreted as hostile (not recognizing the connection between beliefs and reality).

There, we made friends. Everyone around us was “white”. Life got better. Our feelings of insecurity and fear soothed as our family situation improved. Or seemed like it. We were there long enough so that we developed a sense of peace, security and comfort, even as our parents’ relationship deteriorated.

When the divorce happened and it was clear we’d be moving, our old beliefs resurfaced. Landing in Virginia rekindled more underlying fears. Every old sock meets an old shoe: experiences with “black people” consistent with those beliefs returned.

We attempted to compensate becoming proficient in martial arts. It helped shift old beliefs into new more empowering ones. But the momentum of old beliefs weren’t done with us.

One day while delivering papers on our paper route, a gang of “black” youths cornered us in an apartment complex and attempted to rob us. We had no money, but the experience was insightful.

It wasn’t until three months ago (some 40-plus years later) that we saw how our beliefs created all our youth experiences, leaving us with a profound sense of empowerment.

What insight!

Recognizing how our beliefs created our life experiences inspired new possibilities in us.

Those possibilities implemented in the last five years leave us where we are today. Today where we no longer feel the need to identify with labels created by those seeking to soothe their insecurity by keeping us in our vulnerability.

We now look into the world through these insights. What we see are humans doing their best to make sense of a world around them, not understanding how much leverage they have over that world as an individual. So they join into groups and fight against that which they want changed, not knowing that in their fighting they are allying with their oppressor.

Again, we’re not saying don’t join groups and don’t work to change the status quo.

What we are saying is, individuals can be far more productive than they are when they assume identities (beliefs about themselves) that, paradoxically both give empowerment to the individual and legitimizes within the person their “less than” status.

We’ve noticed an interesting phenomena around this topic among transgender women of color and trans-attracted men of color. Before we detail the peculiarity, we’ll provide some context.

· · ·

Three years ago, we launched The Transamorous Network. It was an exploratory project. Through it we intended to help men who are attracted to transgender women and transgender women interested in having wholesome relationships with cis-men. We felt we could help soothe the struggle both parties have finding love in their lives.

Our own trans-attraction, and our struggle to find meaningful, wholesome relationships with transgender women legitimized our desire. We believed our approach, which has eliminated the struggle we experience through our trans attraction, could be helpful for others. Others who resonate with our message.

Trans attraction blog
A meme from our work at The Transamorous Network

Over the years we received emails from different kinds of people. Not just trans-attracted men, but women and transpeople wanting help. We consider these people, people who are attracted to transgender people, part of a “broadened” transgender community. All of them were relieved to find a website like ours, one that assures them their trans-attraction is wholesome and normal.

Not long after launching the website, we began interviewing people in this demographic on YoutTube and through a podcast. Then we began a Facebook Live show talking about more urgent issues our audiences was interested in from our unique perspective only.

From the beginning we’ve always approach each topic from the same accurate perspective. This perspective can be frightening and off-putting for people deeply immersed in the struggles of their lives. So we have some experience hearing the thoughts and beliefs people in the broader transgender community have about themselves, their struggles and why they think they struggle.

Curiously, a far larger share of men of color seem to comprise the population of trans-attracted males. In one private Facebook group of 100 such men, 60 of the men are men of color, for example.

When we look at that, we believe it represents an “entanglement” between male people of color and transgender people. But that’s another story.

Our perspective in our content is highly confronting to transgender and black people. What we are essentially saying is if you change how you think about yourself and your world, then take action from those new perspectives, your world will easily change. But if you try to change the world first, before changing the way you think about it, you are going to have a frustrating, painful and unhappy life experience.

The reason we believe this is so confronting to these two particularly oppressed groups is because they can not fathom that they are at the center of all they are experiencing. And, being in the center of it all, they have all the power to change their experience.

letter from trans attracted blog
Excerpt from a letter from a trans-attracted man.

Consider a person who believes in “man” and “woman” so deeply, the belief disappears into their consciousness, becoming simply “what is”. Then that person is confronted with what they see as a “man” who claims to be a “woman”. The dissonance, incredulity and shock of such an experience blows away this deeply held concept of life, even though life is sitting right there in front of their eyes, telling that person that their belief is too narrow as it regards human life.

Such a deeply intimate relationship between a person such as this and their belief can’t tolerate confrontation. The only response to such confrontation is retaliatory confrontation. Feeling intimate insecurity of a deeply held belief, this person will knee-jerkingly try to control the circumstance (the life experience) so that it reconforms to the belief.

When instead, the more simple, more powerful approach is to just change the belief.

We know. Easier said than done.

Well the same is true for a person whose deeply-held belief goes thusly:

“I am a single, vulnerable, fallible, mortal human being. Here for god knows what reason, in a physical world that is scary, upsetting and cruel. Sure there are moments of happiness, but on the whole this thing is a struggle. And the fact that my blackness/transness makes it so much more of a struggle is so unjust! What else am I to do about it???”

So when we suggest to a human to change your story and your life experience will change, and we offer evidence from our life, our clients’ lives and our colleague’s life demonstrating the accuracy of what we say, we get the same response from transgender people that blacks get from white supremacists and transgender people get from transphobic people (and that gay people get from homophobic people): They can’t even fathom the possibility that what we’re suggesting will work.

Transgender people and the people who love them, particularly trans-attracted people of color, are here as powerful examples to the rest of humanity. Part of them being here is to live their wonderful, joyful and convincing example of the farthest, further-forward-est edge of what it is to be human.

jorge-saavedra-716354-unsplash blog
Possibly the leading edge expression of humanity. (Photo: Jorge Saavedra)

But they also are here to demonstrate something to themselves. Like we were in our youth, many have temporarily forgotten to examine the beliefs in our backgrounds.

What’s great about this is the sweetness of the return to awareness is so directly proportionate with the amount time one is oblivious.

When we hear “social justice”, we think about the day when “the meek inherit the earth”: when those who appear to be oppressed realize they can at any moment turn the tide with but a thought, consistently applied. That’s what is happening underneath advances we are seeing in entertainment, business, politics and more. As more transgender people as individuals come into their own individual power, then decide to act from that, they change the entire world.

The same is true for ordinary individual black people.

And ordinary individual trans-attracted people.

The most powerful potential lies in transpeople of color. For they represent “both” “and”. What a powerful human combination.

Coming into the world for every human, was a decision you made in joy and eagerness. The world awaits the imprint you came to make upon it. We too are eager to see what you do as you explore who and what you are beyond what you think that to be.

 

 

 

 

How to prove your stories create your reality

fullsizeoutput_1e07In my last post I wrote about how sucky stories creates a sucky life. You just can’t complain about life and end up happy. All you get is more suck.

“Suck” doesn’t have to be something monumental, such as chronic illness or chronic unemployment. It can be as simple a thing as not finding the love you want whether you’re transgender or trans attracted. It an even be as simple as having a desire for something (anything) and not finding fulfillment of that desire.

That does suck!

Whether you believe it or not, you’re supposed to be getting all you want out of this life. But to have all those things there’s a few other things you need to remember and then put into action.

:Your disbelief can’t be disproved.:

One is that you are creating your life experience as you go. The other is that your emotions clue you in on the process you use (your story-telling) to create your life experience and are constantly indicating whether you’re creating the life you want, or something other than that.

If you don’t believe that, it doesn’t matter because that’s what’s happening. The interesting thing about the stories you tell is (and stories are just thoughts, and “beliefs” are thoughts you think over and over) this: life will always show you evidence of the story you’re telling.

So in this quirky way, if you don’t believe what you’re reading right now, life is…right now…giving you all kinds of evidence to “prove” your thoughts and beliefs are “true”. Including other thoughts consistent with your story that this is not “true”. So your disbelief can’t be disproved.

The only thing you can do to prove to yourself what you’re reading is accurate is to try on new stories consistent with what you’re reading. I guarantee over 30 days, such a test will offer so much evidence you’ll begin to see life in a whole new way.

And from there, the sky’s the limit.

 

I didn’t choose to be transgender/transamorous

IMG_1062Actually you did. So did I.

What? Did you think it was some random selection?

Well, I have news for you: Everything happening in this physical “reality” is being agreed upon and acted out in a massive cooperative venture. And that includes choices you make about you, what you look like, your gender and more. In the same way you create your reality through the stories you tell (the thoughts you think) you have created everything else about you.

Now, you may think you don’t like the choice you made to come into the world as you are, but actually, you’re celebrating the fact in the eternal now that is your home.

Yes, you are an eternal being. I know, you probably don’t have any reference for that statement. Or maybe you do, and you rail against it because the reference refers to some kind of religious dogma you’d rather not think about. That’s cool because I’m not sharing dogma here. I’m sharing something you can easily verify with a little effort and guidance (guidance because you have to know what to look for).

Consider the possibility that you are eternal. What if this life was just one of an infinite number you have lived, many of which you have lived, and are living simultaneously right now. If that is the case (and it is), then it seems you as an eternal being would tire of experiencing every freaking life experience as a woman or a man or whatever.

Look a that again: If you are eternal, continuously, raucously, enthusiastically experiencing lifetime after lifetime AND you have had infinite numbers of experiences in the past, doesn’t it make sense that you’d get tired of coming into the experience only as a man or a woman?

Oh, consider this: There are no genders in that eternal state that is you. In that state, the original state from which you spring, you are all “genders” (infinite potential). If you are eternal, you have access to the amazing variety (i.e. infinite) of ways you could express yourself in physical reality. Also, presuming you are eternal, that means everyone (and everything) else is too. Along with eternity comes mastery of awareness and knowledge. Since you are not some closed-off being, separate from other experiences of other beings, you have direct influence upon other beings’ experiences. So all that interoperability between you and other points of being-ness has an infinite potential to generate variety….variety that you crave as an eternal being.

(are you beginning to get this?)

℘”What if this life was just one of an infinite number you have lived, many of which you have lived, and are living simultaneously right now.” ℘

So here you are, at the point of yet another life. You’re excited, thrilled even for another plunge into this framework that freaking fascinates you. You’re wanting to have a new experience though, one that will add to the immenseness of you. You’re also wanting to positively influence those other beings with whom you are in contact with and will continue to be once you in-personate yourself.

So, you choose an experience on the frontier of life experience. One that will push the boundaries of life experience for you and for others “affiliated” with you. These others (your family members, friends, lovers and everyone else you may encounter) have agreed to this escapade of yours and promise to make the experience interesting. But they are bounded by the stories you tell, stories which create experience after experience in your coming day-to-day journey that will be your life.

So you come into the world with an express purpose: to experience joy, “growth”, to have fun in the process, and to explore the frontiers of what it means to be you. Not you the transperson or trans attracted person. But you the eternal being having a life experience as a transperson or a trans attracted person.

This may make no sense to you whatsoever. You may have no reference to understand what you’re reading.  Many folks aren’t ready to hear this. But as I wrote above and in previous posts, with a little effort and guidance all of this can be verified by you.

But whether you choose to verify it or not doesn’t really matter. Your stories are predetermining your life experience moment by moment. And if you’re telling stories of suffering, mayhem, bad relationships, joblessness and such, that is what is stacking up to be delivered in your day-to-day life experience.

And that is why we focus on the stories you tell.